Grumpy RPG Reviews

Game Content: Chapel of Saint Alberic

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

[caption id="attachment_10167" align="alignright" width="200" caption="North entrance of the chapel."][/caption]

Chapel of Saint Alberic (1), the adjacent rectory and the campus tunnels running under these buildings house the Ouroboros University’ seminary, one of its major colleges. Here paladins, clerics and others engage in religious studies.

The Chapel

The chapel possesses Carolingian architecture and is 800 years old – it predates the formation of the university – and at the time of its first consecration served as home to shrines to three gods of light and law, one from the human, elf and dwarf pantheons. Following a war about 500 years ago, the structure saw a dedication to only the human deity (a god of law appropriate to the campaign). It retains a slightly rounded triangle shape to its floor plan – each side of this triangle once sported a shrine to a different deity. The worship hall dominates the structure, with small offices, storerooms and hallways scattered throughout. A balcony faces the worship hall over each of the entrances. Narrow spirals staircases lead up to the balconies and bell towers and down to the campus tunnels.

Situated on the north wall is an elaborate pipe organ, the largest for leagues around, which is also living construct popularly known as “Pipes.” While an excellent musician and judge of character, Pipes (too merry to be ominous) does not always accurately assess a given situation – sometimes when people are plotting something in the back rows, it bursts out with romantic music.

A domed ceiling stands over the worship hall. Large tiles of polished marble cover the walls and floor, with decorations and candelabras of ornamental and polished brass. Murals and frescos adorn the ceiling. About a century ago, a dour tempered canon (2) plastered over the old art, much to the displeasure of the art (3). Maintenance in recent years declined and so a roof leak went unrepaired. During a recent rainstorm, much of this plaster pealed fell of the interior of the dome, revealing the original art for the first time in generations.

The revealed murals across the ceiling depict a number of things; sprouting from the north wall is vast and fantastic tree, while arching up from the south-east wall are lines of marching text and from the south-west walls humans battle as they both avoid and seek an unsettling black circle. The original art, though damaged by time and water, is strikingly vivid and credited to someone known as Patrick D (4).

Elves and eladrin from their embassy assert the tree is a reference to some of their oldest stories, that all the world is a dreaming tree, all the limbs, leaves and flowers dreaming all the other flowers, leaves and limbs into being so that they may also dream. Time and weather damage have destroy large sections of the tree and left much of the rest of appearing to suffer from some blight.

Dwarves in the city confirm the marching columns of text are passages from dwarf holy works, which say “Embrace Death” and “Tomorrow is the death of today.” The dwarves lose respect for anyone to whom they must explain this concept. Sadly, time and water erosion have damaged much of this section, leaving few passages legible.

Human historians say the mural depicts a battle over a sphere of annihilation between forces dedicated to a god a light and a god of misery. The “good” humans won, keeping this fearful artifact out of the hands of evil. Text in this area reads the sphere of annihilation is a blind spot for the gods themselves – they can neither see it nor into it and thus can do nothing about it. “What can you do about the things of which you are always unaware?” Ouroboros University currently keeps the sphere in a laboratory where it is undergoing study.

A line of text, alternating in elvish, dwarvish and human language runs along the base of the dome, calling upon people to “beware” the coming of the “Devoratrix Spes” (or “devourer of hope” in dwarvish), the “Парене Утре” (pronounced parene utre, or “burning tomorrow” in the human dialect used at the time of the chapels construction) and the “Tuo Tuskaa” (“brings the pain” in formal elvish). Expects identify this with a red figure appearing in each of the three sections of the murals.

For “safety reasons” access to the worship hall is limited to approved seminary faculty and students.

A bell tower stands over each of the three entrances. People visiting the chapel often find themselves the subject of baleful, silent stares from a dozen screech owls roosting on the chapel and nearby trees.

The Rectory and the Tunnels

A system of tunnels runs under most of the campus buildings. University administration employs the tunnels for storage year round, while students and faculty use them to move around the campus during frequently savage winters, as the tunnels are always dry and in winter qualify as warm. Several tunnels connect the chapel and rectory to the rest of the campus.

The rectory is a long four-story wattle-daub building with balconies facing the chapel. It houses multiple offices, classrooms, storages spaces and the like. It is a dully-functional place.

Religious Orders

A number of orders part of the church are involved with the seminary and several members of the faculty across the University belong to one order or another. Most relationships are casual, members supporting the seminary whose responsibility is the education of people in the ways of the church, with the seminary hanging out banners honoring these groups and inviting them to give guest sermons and provide guidance to students. Further, most such group uses the seminary as recruiting grounds. Any group, in a home-campaign, dedicated to the same deity may be a part of the seminary.

Canon Mraz

Ouroboros University seminary, Canon Podul Mraz (LN human male cleric 16) possesses a cool temperament and a preoccupation with rules. While he does not possess any military background, he gets on better with the church’s military orders than does most of the civilian leadership. Cardinal and Grand Inquisitor Ludd, the church’s leader in the country home to Ouroboros University, named Mraz to the position of Canon, and Ludd carries a great deal of national political weight. For his part, Canon Mraz operates the seminary in a manner legally unimpeachable but also cold. He possesses a surprising amount of information about students, faculty and staff, information he uses this to deal with obstacles. Canon Mraz’s goals are known only to himself and Cardinal Ludd – and presumably the Chancelor of the University.

New Feat – Lay Person Religious Training
Prerequisites: Wis 12 and a semester of training at Ouroboros University for each replacement.
Benefit: You may replace any single feature or special power from your class with a feature or special power of equal power from the cleric class when you advance a level. This does not include cleric spells.
Special: Replacing eight features entitles you to call yourself a minor canon.
Note: Refer to the Cleric Class on page 38 of the Pathfinder Core Rulebook for more information.

Adventure Hooks

Iconoclast: Canon Mraz instructs the religious PCs (clerics, Paladins and any PC working to get that Lay Person Religious Training feat) to assist in the destruction of the animate murals decorating the inside of the chapel. The murals are legally not alive and are property, and views expressed by the murals on church doctrine and historical events are (subtly) at odds with the church’s current position on those issues. Canon’s Mraz’s view is cold and theoretical, though legally supported by the country’s secular government and the ecclesiastical body of the church. The views of the murals are Earthy, at times almost bawdy and practical. The murals do not wish to be destroyed. Complicating matters, the sentient pipe organ is legally alive and thus not property and thus destroying it would be an act of murder.

Watching You All the Time: Canon Mraz is a remarkably well informed man, knowing many things about many people which he uses to subtly blackmail people and coerce them into behaving. Even giving the gossip network and his position at the head of the seminary, he is too well informed. Where does he get his information?

(1) This is a reference to "Canon Alberic's Scrap-Book” by M.R. James.

(2) Canon is a special church term for members of the clergy responsible for following and teaching ecclesiastical rules among members of the church body, including following vows of poverty, chastity and dwelling with other members of the clergy when possible. The head of the Ouroboros University has been a canon since the rededication of the chapel.

(3) They are “sentient and alive” like most holograms from Star Trek – carefully recreations of notable saints, clerics and paladins matching the originals personality, knowledge and temperament but not technically alive. In any event, the dozen or so revealed on the old murals are surprisingly earthy by contemporary standards.

(4) It is beyond my ability to say if he ever did make it to America-side but he did spend time on this campus and in that time he made it a more beautifully place. Say thankee.

Grumpy RPG Columns: Blacks in Gaming

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 55: Blacks in Gaming

For Black History Month, this column discusses the role of blacks in tabletop role-playing games.
The essay employs the term black rather than African-American or Africa because most fantasy settings do not have an America or an Africa, even if they do include black people.
Race is an important part of character creation, though there it usually refers to what should be called different species (elves, orcs, humans, etc.) and there is no real mechanical difference between blacks and whites.
The default assumption of both the text and art of most RGP games is the characters are white.
White Wolf Games are transgressive and progressive, making an effort to include blacks in the text and art of their games.
Some fantasy versions of Africa do exist, though your mileage may vary as to the quality and results.
RPGS lag behind other areas of society – such as business, sports and politics – in terms of including blacks. This will change only when fans make it change.

Links;

February is Black History Month in the United States, a month designated to acknowledge accomplishments of black men and women in all occupations, from sports to business to science to politics and so forth. However, the presence of blacks in gaming is thin on the ground, so to speak.

In this column, I will discuss the issue and while a conclusion is reached, this is a podcast column and not a comprehensive study of the subject.

Black People in Gaming

Where are the black people in gaming? Why are there not more of them?

Of the black people who are in gaming, who are they and where they? Where is the African themed material?

Related to those questions, how many black people do you see at your local gaming shop? How often do they make an appearance and/or a purchase? Why are there not more of them participating in the hobby?

Race

Where are the black people in gaming?

It is worth defining terms. and white in this column refer to races as they are understood in an conventional sense, namely issues of personal characteristics defined in part by skin tone over which people have little choice. African refers to the cultures that have traditionally called that continent home. Black and African are not interchangeable, though they are related.

Arguably two of the most important decisions in terms of character creation for most RPG systems are class, or the stand in for class depending on the system, and race. Game books frequently use the term race in incorrectly as elves, lizard people and humans are different species… or at least they should be, given their physiological differences. The physiological differences between a black man and a white man, assuming they are of similar body size, age and general health level, are largely cosmetic. The differences between a male human and a male elf, even assuming similar body size and general level of health, are profound.

Yes, I did just employ scientific terminology when I discussed RPG mechanics and I know that means God killed a Cat Girl. We can only hope it was an ugly cat girl.

In any event, the standard player character races include humans, elves, half-elves, dwarves, halflings, gnomes and sometimes half-orcs. Most fantasy RPGs includes these races or close analogs. Gary Gygax, Dave Arneson and friends developed these races for D&D to reflect the same races in traditional legends, folklore and fiction. Their early efforts also sought to provide balance in terms of game mechanics. While establishing mechanical differences between elves and humans makes sense, attempting to establish mechanical differences between whites and blacks (or any humans not augmented by magic or some similar forces) would be bewilderingly stupid. Fortunately, the game never went that route.

Nothing in any of this precluded including black characters or African themed settings in the game over the years.

In Chris Van Dyke essay on the subject, he states that of…

“…the roughly 100 illustrations that depict adventurers in the 1st Edition Player Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide (both published in 1978), there are NO non-white adventurers. In the over 100 illustrations of adventurer’s in the 2nd Edition Player Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide (both published in 1989), there are NO non-white adventurers.”

That is a recording of Van Dyke by the way – for some reason he always sounds like he’s putting on a bad southern accent.

Van Dyke writes;

“How are different human ethnic groups – black, white, Asian, Latino – depicted in the world of D&D? In a word, they aren’t, and their presence is felt strongly through their near total exclusion.

Van Dyke further asserts that of 80+ illustrations spread over the core books of third edition, a single black woman and no black men appeared. My study of 4E shows the only black character to be the duke or lord depicted in the art of the DMG. These numbers include images of elves, dwarves, gnomes and halflings that art depicts as quite white even when the text frequently described them as brown.

In context, the Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters Guide and Monster Manual literally provide the core of D&D and in many ways a cornerstone to the RPG hobby itself as pretty much all other RPGs are created as a reaction to D&D. The examples listed above do not include supplement D&D books, accessories, modules, campaign world materials or products for other systems or from other companies. The appearance of blacks in those books highlights their absence in the core books. When the other books take their own path, the description of the differences always comes across as a discussion of culpability, as something requiring explanation and apology.

The core books have shown more lizard people than black people. It is a pity then, that being fictional, lizard people cannot participate more in the RPG hobby.

Some of the more popular and problematic “races,” to use the term the way the books do, include the half-orcs and the drow.

Half-orcs were a player race in first edition, dropped out in second edition and reappeared in 3E, 3.5 and are currently iffy as a basic player race in 4E. The 3E description of half-orcs reads that they “prefer simple pleasures: feasting, singing, wrestling and wild dancing. They have no interest in refined pursuits such as high art and philosophy.”

Van Dyke asserts this description sounds a “lot like a 19th century anthropologist describing an African tribe.” Perhaps, but to me it sounds like an apt description of rednecks. For that matter, what would the reaction be to depicting orcs as hill billies? How far are they from that description now, upon examination? Consider the facts, they are clannish, illiterate, violent, live in desolate mountains where normal people do not, get drunk a lot, like “feasting, singing, wrestling and wild dancing” and “have no interest in refined pursuits such as high art and philosophy.” They also do not like it when people from the city intrude into their territories. Kind of sounds like those motherfuckers from Deliverance. Speaking of that movie, just imagine an orc telling an elf “he’s got a real purdy mouth” or playing that movie’s banjo theme.

How did you react to that comparison, to making orcs a bunch of green-neck stand-ins for violent white trash?

The drow are also problematic. However, they are inhuman and are do not actually possess any black human physical characteristic or African cultural motifs. Specifically, black humans are usually some shade of brown and drow are the color of coal dust, live underground and think giant spiders are awesome. So they get lumped in with other distinctly non-human groups, like beholders, fomori, mimes and so forth.

In any event, white is the default depiction of standard player races in the core of D&D and throughout a great deal of RPGs the monsters are… not white. Steve Sumner asserts in his essay on this subject that a D&D game could become a proxy race war, with a group of player characters filling the shoes of, at best, the noble white power crusaders seeking to extinguish filthy mongrel races. At worst, a D&D session turns into Blood Meridian, the RPG.

Van Dyke writes:

“Of course its ‘just a game,’ but most of our forms of entertainment, while being ‘harmless’ and ‘just fun’ can say very important things about who we are and what values we espouse.”

Perhaps this is one reason homosexuality is coming out of the closet these days – it does not want to be stuck in the same tiny room as drooling genocidal fantasy.

Yes, I did just say that – what are you gonna do about it?

Characters

Of the black character that are in gaming, who are they and where they? Where is the African material?

White Wolf Publishing, the producers of the World of Darkness, broke ground in the early 1990s in many ways, including placing the image of Dante, a black male, on the cover of their Mage book. Dante was a William Gibson-esque character developed by Travis Williams, an early employee of White Wolf and himself a black man. Williams has since gone on to work as a Senior Producer at Sony Computer Entertainment America. Previously 3E D&D offered Ember, a black female human, as the iconic monk character. Piazo has the black female paladin Seelah. Roy Greenhilt from Rich Burlew’s on-line comic Order of the Stick is worth mentioning because while that is a comic, rather than an RPG, it directly relates to D&D.

However, character’s like Acererak from Tomb of Horrors do not count as they started a white boys trying to act all getto and things got out of hand in terms of them tricking out their crib and getting the bling bling all up in their grill. Just think about how awesome an episode of MTV Cribs would be if it were set in the ToH.

While Ember, Seelah, Roy and Dante are black, none of them is particularly African. Art does not depict these characters as wearing traditional African tribal garb or using African weapons. In terms of Dante, the character came from a dark and ugly fantasy version of contemporary America. Ember, Seelah and Roy are depicted wearing usual D&D costumes – for example, Seelah appears wearing full plate armor. These three use European style swords or staffs as those weapons as depicted in the core D&D books. Dante used magic or contemporary weapons.

The point to this is a fantasy Africa and the cultural baggage of centuries of racial conflict and exploitation are not prerequisites for the appearance of black characters. Which is not to say those issues should be dismissed, just that they are not required. If the trappings of African culture are not a necessity for depicting a black character, then the depiction of a black character arguably becomes easier. Yet the depiction of black characters is still rare.

One of the few distinctly African settings is Nyambe, which started as a labor of love and persistent internet effort by Chris Dolunt before it was picked up for a limited run by Atlas Games, where it is still available.

However, while the mechanic system 3.5 D&D, a third party publisher released Nyambe. To date there is no official supported products or line to have a distinctly African theme. TSR did publish settings with distinctly Meso-American, Arabic and Oriental themes. While your mileage may vary in terms of the quality and usefulness of those products, it is still worth noting these existed.

White Wolf’s World of Darkness did provide black characters and African themed materials. For one there was the NPC Dante. For another, the setting and company being what they were, room was made at the proverbial table in Mage game line for a class of shaman mages who were often black and/or African, in Wraith – the game for ghosts – the continent of Africa had its own underworld kingdom and black characters frequently appeared in all the books, especially the Werewolf and Vampire game lines. Some of the most noteworthy and powerful vampires were black NPCs. The flip side of that issue is the fact the Setite vampires, considered evil bastards vampires even by other evil bastard vampires, were usually depicted as black and the Mage class of shaman wizards lumped all of Africa together with the indigenous tribes of North and South America and Australia as a single cohesive cultural entity. Werewolf books described Africa as home to many changing breeds, or shape shifting animals aside from werewolves, such as were-lions and were-hyenas. Lastly, before the original World of Darkness wrapped up, White Wolf released Kindred of the Ebony Kingdom, an interesting interpretation of the game’s vampires through an African lens.

Palladium also detailed the African continent for its Rift game line, though it is as mad as any other Palladium Rift’s product. The small third party company New Breed published “Dark Continent: Adventure & Exploration in Darkest Africa,” which to judge from the positive reviews was a better game than the name indicates. Unfortunately, it is out of print.

Black characters and African setting material do appear in RPGs. However, they are more likely to appear as the material gains distance from the core works of D&D and even the core of the games from other companies, where they rarely even rise to the level of tokenism.

People

Related to those facts, how many black people do you see at your local gaming shop? How often do they make an appearance and/or a purchase? Why are there not more of them participating in the hobby?

Recent U.S. Census reports states blacks constitute a better than 12% of the population. Further, they will have purchasing power exceeding $1 trillion by 2012, meaning the consumer power of this market demographic is already considerable and is growing.

If RPGs are a business – and if you doubt that fact, go discuss the issue with whomever runs your local shop – then why are RPGS not marketed better to a significant portion of the population with a growing purchasing power? There are not as many blacks participating as there could be and the relative lack of them probably relates to the relative lack of black characters, black artists and black writers.

How many black artists, writers or developers can you name active in the business today or in the past? The only name that comes to my mind is that of the aforementioned Travis Williams – it has been some time since I read his material, but I recall enjoying it and it being well thought out and well written. William’s contributions to RPGs occurred primarily in the 1990s, before he moved professionally to video game development.

In terms of white creators, Monte Cook, one of the living patron saints of D&D and the creator of the Arcana Evolved material, made an observation about gaming art;

“When I worked at TSR, there was always basically a truism in cover art--the central figure had to be a white male. Most of us actually helping to create the cover art, either by conceiving it or actually creating it, hated that kind of outlook, but the powers that be believed that our audience was entirely white males and they needed someone that they could identify with on the cover. This was absurd for two reasons:

“1. You're talking about a game where you pretend to be elves, halflings, or other things that are different from you, is it so hard to believe that the people who engage in this hobby might be able to see beyond themselves?

“2. It's not only incorrect to assume that the audience is all white males, but it just makes the issue worse when the artwork only fixates on white males. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy, in other words.”

However practical this marketing decision may appear, it is not popular with the creators. Related to this are the fact subversive elements always creep into to material in a number of unexpected ways. In this case, D&D iconic character Redgar began appearing dead, dying or in immanent peril because the artists and writers disliked the character and his bland honkey status, or at least so says Cook;

“Regdar intruded his way into 3E, empowered by marketing and sales people… Not only was Regdar on the scene, he was in the spotlight. This was the character that would be on the cardboard standees and other promotional items, and would usually take center stage in the covers… Now, to his credit, the initial Regdar artist, Todd Lockwood, made Regdar's ethnicity kind of vague… It's only in later artwork that Regdar seems to be pretty clearly the white male fighter we tried to avoid. And to the credit of a number of people--artists, art directors, designers and editors alike--our disdain for Regdar made its way into a lot of art. If you look closely, Regdar is getting thrashed on most of the early pieces he shows up in.”

Cook also says;

“We already knew that unless you specified non-white, non-male, that's what you would get from most artists. In other words, if I asked for a drawing of a warrior, I'd get a white guy unless I specifically asked for something else. And I'm not trying to be harsh toward any artists--it's just the stereotypes of the genre that we need to loosen.”

The appearance of black characters in RPGs is something I note because of it rarity and it is not something I find to be off putting. Personally, I am far more put off from games and game shops by the appearance of a foul smelling neck beard who, when he goes off about something trivial related to geek culture, seems to be vomiting a torrent of razorblades. You know the type.

Conclusion

Why are there not more black people involved in the RPG hobby?

If racism, no matter how casual, is called out for making an appearance in other media, then why not when it occurs RPGs?

If the art, graphic design, composition and game mechanics have developed in RPGs over the last 30 years, why not racial presentation?

Quoting Van Dyke again, “…I can’t imagine that Gygax or the other creators over the years have had any implicit, racist message they wished to get across…”

However, many RPGs remain guilty of tacit racism because they fell into a trap of reinforcing an unthinking Anglo-centric view of the world. The issue has improved since D&D appeared in the 70s, as time has passed and new games have appeared on the scene. Currently, the problem largely seems to be an issue of not trying hard enough to communicate and offer the opportunity for inclusion.

When it comes to interacting with others, we should have more self-control than a four year old. This includes reactions to discussions of the appearance, or lack thereof, of black characters in RPGs.

Communication, business, creating art and game composition, like most endeavors, require work, commitment and extra effort. If your game material does not include minority groups, you probably need to try harder than you are right now.

Over the last 30 some odd years, blacks have made considerable headway into many areas, sports to business to science to politics and so forth. The country, the economy and more besides are better for their inclusion and blacks have brought much to the proverbial game. Unfortunately, their appearance in RPGs is lagging behind others areas of society.

A challenge, then, for Fifth Edition Dungeons and Dragons; make 10% of humans depicted black. Not all the art has to depict people or creatures and not all the people have to be human, but of the humans, at least 10% should be black.

The appearance of more blacks on the books and in the stores will be the result of extra effort. Sullen satisfaction with the status quo will not actually produce more of the same, except where “the same” is a sad and slow decay. Such as state of affairs will also further typify the hobby as something distasteful.

Notes;

“Young Gifted and Black” copyright Nina Simone.
Ember, Acererak and the Tomb of Horrors are copyright Wizards of the Coast.
Blood Meridian is copyright Cormac McCarthy.
Seelah is copyright Piazo.
Roy Greenhilt is copyright Rich Burlew.
Dante copyright White Wolf.
Nyambe copyright Chris Dolunt.
Acererak on the Sofa, by CallingCtulhu.
Baba Yaga grinning happily, by MonsterPappa.
The Dancing Hut Image, by Iphigen.
Music is from Royalty Free Music, sound effects are from Partners in Rhyme.
Grumpy RPG Reviews are a Texas in August Productions and are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Filming of this episode occurred in Bulgaria.

Video: Blacks in Gaming

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Video: All is Silent...

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Grumpy RPG Reviews: Strange Dead Love... for Valentines!

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 54: Strange Dead Love

Strange Dead Love is the latest book in the Vampire the Requiem line from White Wolf.
Depravity! Yay!
Acererak says Grumpy has no romance in his soul… and Grumpy agrees.
The book is too wordy and tells people what they can figure out for themselves.
The art is alright, though nothing special.
Some of the tools provided in chapter three are good.
The interstitial fiction is also good.
SDL is an unfortunately mediocre book.
Strange Dead Love gets a 10 on a d20 roll.
Acererak and Baba Yaga have a hot date planned, one that involves karaoke.
Note: The animate clip is from "Ouran High School Host Club" and is added here because it made me laugh very hard. Also, because I am callow I blame its inclusion on JesuOtaku.

Video: Paranormal Romance... for Valentines!

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Game Content: A Musical Education

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

[caption id="attachment_8659" align="alignright" width="300" caption="The "bards" deny any melodrama is going on."][/caption]

“Bards suck”
-Zack Sabbath

“I take that as a challenge.”
-Grumpy Celt

Ouroboros University provides the finest musical teaching for leagues around, providing many with instructions in singing, dance, musical instruments and oration. They also practice the school’s fight song. Because of the instructions of Miss Jennifer Zamzanoble (1), and other teachers, many noted warriors, wizards and wanderers may call themselves… “bard.”

Carrying a Tune in a Bucket

Take a leap of game logic and bard stops being a single class, but an assortment of powers available to all the other classes. In the real world public speaking – something people find more frightening than dying – is terribly useful (2), using a musical rhythm is a useful tool for remembering lengthy stories and the right tune provokes emotional responses in ways nothing else can.
Why then disparage speaking, rhythm and music?

If even the best warriors have to learn to swing a sword properly, then why should a bard not also train their native skills? The opposite is also true.

Bards suffered from a poor initial organization that started a poor legacy of making them a single musical class, rather than a set of skills and powers available to all classes. Imagine there is no single class called bard, but a set of useful features and powers available to all the classes.(3)

Adventure Hooks

I’ve Got no Strings: The department is home to a puppet theater, which is flexible enough for children’s productions to avant guard productions (which children should watch only if accompanied by an adult). Recently a war between angels and demons took an odd turn and these immortal creatures found themselves stuck in a host of puppets. The good news is they do not have their angelic or demonic powers, one of them stuck in a 1-foot tall puppet with a wooden sword… though it will possess the cunning of ages.
Try it On for Size: Several ghosts to haunt the campus – two are still on the payroll – and in their off hours, they have taken to trying on outfits in the departments extensive costume shop. The management want this sorted out with as little damage to the girdles and wigs as possible.
Signs and Portents: It is not all fun and games in the theater department. The facility has a large library of plays, operas, musicals, music, songs and similar forms of entertainment. However, recently something has been causing the text and musical notations to fade, a letter or a word or a note at a time. A blank page remains. Only the tragic works remain unaffected. Those with the “Genre Awareness” feat are the most disturbed by this development.(4)

New Feats

A Minor in Musical Training
Prerequisites: Cha 12 and a semester of training at Ouroboros University for each replacement.
Benefit: You may replace any single power or feature from your class with a power or feature of equal power from the bard class when you advance a level.
Special: Replacing eight powers, features or some combination entitles you to call yourself a bard.

Genre Awareness
Prerequisites: Int 6, Perception 0 and a social life more active than that of a sea-sponge.
Benefit: By training or simple awareness you are exceptionally aware of the patterns of life – you know the Evil Overlord List, possess an intuitive understanding of its heroic counterpart, can pick who are role of characters in the story and know what kind of story in which you find yourself.
Special: This is also known as élan.

Other Systems

The series will nominally be in 4E D&D, though much of the material is system neutral and articles present mechanical alternatives.

Savage Worlds

Background Edge – A Minor in Musical Training
Requirements: Musical education at Ouroboros University, Novice, AB (Miracles), Perform d6+
Training in performance and music at Ouroboros University enable a bard to duplicate many of the abilities of a Troubadour, though it is more difficult for the bard than it is for the Troubadour. While they can perform Miracles and attempt to entertain, the difficulty for bards is increased by +2.
Note: Refer to the Troubadour professional edge on page 7 of the Savage Worlds – Fantasy Companion for more information.

Pathfinder

New Feat – A Minor in Musical Training
Prerequisites: Cha 12 and a semester of training at Ouroboros University for each replacement.
Benefit: You may replace any single feature or special power from your class with a feature or special power of equal power from the bard class when you advance a level. This does not include bard spells.
Special: Replacing eight features entitles you to call yourself a bard.
Note: Refer to the Bard Class on page 34 of the Pathfinder Core Rulebook for more information.

1. Zamzanoble possesses two reputations, the first as an excellent teacher and as someone to getting herself and her students into madcap adventures.

2. You might disparage a politician or lawyer, but you should be prudent enough to acknowledge their social power, much of which depends upon their ability to speak persuasively.

3. Why not? While nominally under the rule system of 4E, Ouroboros University is appearing during the twilight of Fourth Edition Dungeons and Dragons. If the rules only served as guidelines before there is no reason to let them stop us now. For that matter, why give any additional rules for bards or music?

4. It is worse than they imagine.

Grumpy RPG Columns: Looking at the News for 5E D&D

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 53: Looking at the 5E News from D&DX

This is another out of character entry, again looking at the 5E D&D News.
In particular, the news from the D&DX in January 2012
The design team is solid.
The next version will apparently be use something like an old version of the rules as a foundation with optional bits added on.
“I got it one piece at a time…”
D&D core elements include combat, exploration and role-playing.
Classes may be ranked by common or uncommon.
Vancian magic will return.
D&D Next is a silly name.
I say some things I dare you to disagree with about what I actually want from 5E, making irrational and hysterical statements.
My feet.

Enworld 5E News

Wizards of the Coast D&D Next

Video: 5E D&D Spoilers

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Nothing!

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Nothing today, as real life has gotten in the way and postponed things. There will be a Friday posting next week though.

Grumpy RPG Reviews: Lamentations of the Flame Princess

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 52: Lamentations of the Flame Princess

The guys are at the IHOP on Carcosa.
Grumpy confesses to disliking two of the parts of the LotFP; Old School Renaissance and boxed set.
He also talks about the background for LotFP.
LotFP takes its name and feel from dour old pulp stories from writers like Howard P. Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard.
The rules are well executed, for the most part, though an adaptation of the oldest rule sets.
Grumps rants about Old School Renaissance for several minutes.
Products have to be judged on their own merits and Jame Raggi succeed in his goals with LotFP, so the set gets a 15 on a d20 roll.

Video: LotFMWFRGP by JERIV

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Game Content: OU Amphitheater

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

The Amphitheater at Ouroboros University features a horseshoe shaped seating area open to the weather, though the stage and the seating closest to the stage are have a roof but no walls. Behind the stage is a five-story building, built in a Brick Gothic style, home to dressing rooms, costume and prop shops, a small performance hall, classrooms and professors offices.

What People Know

A character visiting Ouroboros University knows the following information about this chapel and cemetery with a successful History, Streetwise or Thievery skill check.

DC 12: The Mentzer Theater is the proper name for the place, though most people just call it " The Amphitheater.” It is the site of musical performances, displays of magic, plays, operas, shadow plays, ballets (dwarf ones are surprisingly popular), kabuki dance drama and the like – all open to anyone willing to purchase a ticket (1). Technically speaking, the Amphitheater is part of the Department of Department of Histrionics, in the Music College.

DC 14: More than a thousand years old, the Amphitheater has been a part of the city for ages. The roof and theater building are recent additions, more or less, replacing the originals lost centuries ago.

DC 16: Bards and others may learn their craft and practice their skills at the Amphitheater. It is also home to amateur productions, giving students a chance to prove themselves. Jennifer Zamzanoble, noted actress and keen observer, serves as theater director and likes solving mysteries. (2) Musical lessons are available to any proffesion. (3)

DC 18: Zamzanoble hosts “salons,” or gatherings of intellectual, social, political and cultural elites, in part to amuse one another and partly to refine their taste and increase their knowledge through conversation. The nature of these gatherings has drawn severe criticism from the local nobility, who dislike the university in any event.

DC 22: Rogues and others may learn their craft and practice their skills at the Amphitheater and has managed to avoid entanglements with the local thieves’ guild. (4).

The Salon - A Murder Mystery

When the PCs attend a salon at the Amphitheater read this text:

“You are invited to attend a salon at the Amphitheater. It is an enjoyable event, a kind of low-key party featuring good drink, good food and good conversation. The topic of the evening is music and how different races handle music. Eldarin, from the feywild embassy in the city, stare at people when not assuring everyone their music is best as visiting lizard folk talk about their drumming techniques. This is cut short when a brief magical darkness descends on the room. When it lifts, a man lies dead in the middle of the floor, a knife in his back.” (4)

Setup

Balatro, Human Knife Fighter
Professor Zamzanoble, 12^th level Fighter
Crudus, Greenscale Marsh Mystic
The audience, made up of a few dozen eldarin, dwarves, humans, halfings, gnomes and dragon born NPCs.

Twisted in his soul by forces of evil (5), OU student Balatro serves as an agent of pointless chaos and violence. To this end, Balatro murdered Aduro, a songwriter, attempts to blame Crudus, a Greenscale Marsh Mystic and further plots to murder an Iron Dragon, who will give a lecture in a few days. Taking the initiative and successfully investigating the situation will earn the PCs Professor Zamzanoble’s respect and help for a future adventure.

This scenario provides a map of the over-all layout for the Amphitheater. The room in which Zamzanoble conducts the salon is on the second floor and doors lead from it to the balcony. This encounter requires no combat until the identity of the murderer is uncovered – until then it is an investigation, where the PCs accomplish their goals through skill challenges and well used magic.

Features of the Amphitheater

General Seating: The proverbial cheap seats in the Amphitheater. Attendance at an event in one of these seats costs 1 cp. This area is open to the elements.
Good Seating: Decent seating in the Amphitheater. Attendance at an event in one of these seats costs 1 sp. This seating section is covered, shielding it from rain and snow, though not winds.
Stage: The stage is huge, running 32-squares (160-feet) long and by 7-squares (35-feet) deep, except for a curved section in the middle, which runs 14-squares (70-feet) deep. Most performances use only the center.
Balcony: A balcony over-looks the stage. The balcony permits access to catwalks running just under the roof over the stage and Amphitheater and to the deus ex machinae, a 2-square (10-foot) by 3-square (15-foot) platform which can be lowered to the center of the rounded section of the stage by a series of pulleys and cranks.
Theater Building: A relatively recent addition to the Amphitheater (6), this large and impressive brick-Gothic building is home to home to dressing rooms, costume and prop shops, classrooms and professors’ offices.

Investigating the Murder

To investigate the murder, the PCs need to speak with people attending the salon, which includes members of all the player races and classes, with a preponderance of bards. There are four groups at the salon; a delegation of eldarin, a group of dwarves, students and faculty from OU and a party of adventurers accompanying Crudus the Marsh Mystic. Salon attendees were in different places across the room when the lights went out and each has their own perspective on the salon and Aduro.

Eldarin: This includes staff of the Eldarin ambassador – he is not present and they do not have diplomatic immunity. They are attending the salon to explain to people about feywild music and to watch people the way people watch fish in tank.
Dwarves: A group of professional mime accordion players (7) attending the salon out of friendship with Professor Zamzanoble and to prevent the eldarin from over impressing people with their bell ringing.
Students and Faculty: While they come from OU, they are not a single group and do not share a purpose, aside from a desire to attend the salon. Balatro is in this group, as was the murdered Aduro.
Adventures and Marsh Mystic: Among the adventurers are some OU graduates and Crudus the Marsh Mystic, who is a member of the party and seeking a patron, to gain admission to OU. She is an excellent drummer.

Skill Challenge

Level: 7 (XP 1,500)
Complexity: 4 (requires 10 success before 3 failures)
Primary Skills: Diplomacy, Insight, Perception

Diplomacy (DC 14): The PCs use the Diplomacy skill to convince the NPCs of their good intentions. A salon is about people talking to each other in a witty and well-mannered way and the murder has not changed this fact, though the murder has disrupted the evening.

Insight (DC 14): The friction between the dwarves and the eldarin is professional and not personal; several people liked Aduro’s songs but disliked the man personally, though they would not willingly admit this fact. Balatro is a disruptive presence.

Perception (DC 8, 14 & 19): DC 8 to determine the knife in Aduro’s back in one made by lizard folk, DC 14 to learn that Crudus, the Marsh Mystic possesses a dry, musky scent common to large reptiles and DC 19 to detect a scent of cologne on the knife in Aduro.

Secondary Skills: Bluff, Intimidate

Bluff (DC 14): The PCs can convince members of the audience they can be trusted, even if they shouldn't be, to gain a +1 bonus on Diplomacy checks.

Intimidate (DC 20): Those attending the salon include a number of experienced adventures, whom are difficult to Intimidate, though it is possible.

Conclusion

The PCs receive information based on the total number of success achieved. If they fail, the city guard solves the case but not until after Balatro assassinates the dragon. If they succeed, the PCs determine the murderer before the second murder and make a favorable impression on a number of important people at OU.

Success: If they PCs accumulate 10-success, they are able to determine the identity of the murderer before the city guards can but not before Balatro temporary escapes.

Failure: If they PCs accumulate 3 failures, they do not pick up on clues and alienate people attending the salon to the point they are unable to conclude the investigation.

Additional Points

The PCs learn the following information based on how many successes they manage to obtain during the investigation.

0-2: Aduro and Crudus the Marsh Mystic had been arguing sharply earlier in the evening, until Professor Zamzanoble intervened.
3: A lizard folk dagger is hilt deep in the back of Aduro. When the lights went out, Crudus the Marsh Mystic was standing to the left of a dwarf mime, and when they came back on she was on the dwarf mime’s right side.
4-6: There is a lingering scent on the corpse of peppermint-scented cologne hanging about the corpse. Lizard folk made daggers are available for purchase across the city.
7-8: An argument between Aduro and Crudus the Marsh Mystic were not actually that severe, nor does the Mystic possess the ability to create a magical darkness. Balatro goes out of his way to create chaos and trouble for others, centering his life on conflict.
9-10: The dwarf mime says the scent of Crudus the Marsh Mystic always stayed near him while Balatro is one of three people in the entire city who likes peppermint-scented cologne (and the other two did not attend the salon).
11+: Aduro was killed by Balatro, who then attempted to frame Crudus the Marsh Mystic. Balatro bragged on owning a wand of dragon slaying.

Resolution

As he realizes the PCs are accurately piecing events together, Balatro moves towards a window. He jumps through the window in an excessively theatrical manner and flees into the night once the party accumulates 10 successes. Balatro could be chased down or, at the DM's discretion, a trap could be laid for him when he returns a few nights later for an attempt to kill the dragon who will be visiting OU to give a lecture. And, sure enough, several nights later Balatro positions himself on the deus ex machinae amid the catwalks, to assassinate the iron dragon (with his wand of dragon slaying) who is giving a lecture on dragon mating rituals (8). Ideally, the PCs could confront him on the platform, which should lower to the stage making for a dramatic combat encounter. (9) Should they prevent the assassination and stop Balatro, Zamzanoble may act as a patron for those in the party wishing to attend OU.

Other Game Systems

Savage Worlds: Appropriate skills include Investigation, Knowledge, Persuasion and Streetwise. At a standard difficulty, a successful skill check reveals the paragraphs above, one paragraph per successful check.

Pathfinder: Appropriate skills include Diplomacy, Knowledge (arcana), Knowledge (engineering), Knowledge (history), Knowledge (local) and Knowledge (religion). Knowledge (arcane) reveals information only about the wizards’ school. Knowledge (religion) reveals information only about the seminary. Starting at standard difficulty, a successful skill check reveals the paragraphs above, though subsequent paragraphs increases the DC by +1.

---

1. This is an ideal location for social conflicts of some kind – the encounter above is an example – and to provide plot points, meetings with contacts and just oddness to color and fantasy world.

2. The theater provides a context for learning bard related skills, even for those who are not bards.

3. Zamzanoble’s courses are among the few places where the feat “Bardic Dilettante” are available.

4. On the sly, the theater provides a context for learning rogue related skills, for those who do not want to deal with those leg-breaking bastards in the local mafia. How long the PCs can go without the leg-breaking bastards in the local mafia catching them is a different issue.

5. There is nothing like good dinner theater.

6. Until recently, Balatro enjoyed a reputation as a respected student, though in recent months he has become a troublemaker and gossip monger. Who know what happened to the man?

7. The Amphitheater is almost 1,000-years old and the “new” theater building is about 100-years old.

8. They are good and in high demand at taverns across the city.

9. The iron dragon manages to make this terribly dull – most of the attendees are there for the following show, a performance by the dwarf mime accordionists.

10. The audience will think its part of the show, and the critics will decry the employment of deus ex machinae as an unnecessary device.

Grumpy RPG Reviews: Tough Justice, the RPG

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 51: Tough Justice the RPG

Many of the most interesting RPGs are the independent ones and of those, the best are ones which find a nitch and make it their own.
One such independent RPG is Tough Justice, by Ian Warner
Tough Justice recreates, in game format, a period English legal drama - at a time when many things could get you executed. This includes cutting down small trees.
Acererak says puns could get you executed also.
The game has flaws, including limited and odd art, too lengthy sections of game play examples and definitions of period jargon and legal terms.
The game gets a 15 on a d20 roll.
Grumpy also suggests inserting a session of Tough Justice in a normal and ongoing campaign.

Videos: Tough Justice and Worse

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

A Game of Twnety (Three) Questions

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

In responce to a challange from a porn star...

1. If you had to pick a single invention in a game you were most proud of what would it be?

It would be a toss up between the Filth Pixies (which I need resat and post to this blog) and the encounter suits for the mind flayers.

2. When was the last time you GMed?

Two+ years ago, before I left the states.

3. When was the last time you played?

Two+ years ago, before I left the states.

4. Give us a one-sentence pitch for an adventure you haven't run but would like to.

A heist flick (like Oceans 11 or the Great Train Robbery) as a DnD game.

5. What do you do while you wait for players to do things?

Think about the next things to happen in the game and when and where I will have to hand wave the rules to suit me. Again.

6. What, if anything, do you eat while you play?

Pizza, cookies, chips, the usual.

7. Do you find GMing physically exhausting?

No.

8. What was the last interesting (to you, anyway) thing you remember a PC you were running doing?

Chopping up Strahd with a pair of hand axes.

9. Do your players take your serious setting and make it unserious? Vice versa? Neither?

The last game I ran carried a comedic tone, so they do not need to take it seriously. I work to avoid the serious ones becoming comedy.

10. What do you do with goblins?

This is its own rant, but I find a tacit racism in lots of gaming where certain races are automatically evil. So, I change that and just make everyone automatically neutral. That includes the goblins.

11. What was the last non-RPG thing you saw that you converted into game material (background, setting, trap, etc.)?

A university, and I am working on a series to make an RPG version.

12. What's the funniest table moment you can remember right now?

Nothing specific right now, I am sad to say.

13. What was the last game book you looked at--aside from things you referenced in a game--why were you looking at it?

Last night I was looking at the 4E book of Vile Darkness and Tough Justice, the independent RPG from Ian Warner. I will be reviewing both.

14. Who's your idea of the perfect RPG illustrator?

Various ones, I like Wayne Reynolds, Zak Sabbath and a few others.

15. Does your game ever make your players genuinely afraid?

Not yet.

16. What was the best time you ever had running an adventure you didn't write? (If ever)

Castle Ravenloft was a lot of fun.

17. What would be the ideal physical set up to run a game in?

A large room with a long table, easy access to a kitchen and the bathroom. With someone to give foot rubs.

18. If you had to think of the two most disparate games or game products that you like what would they be?

Something for kids and *anything* from Black Dog Games.

19. If you had to think of the most disparate influences overall on your game, what would they be?

Real life and fiction.

20. As a GM, what kind of player do you want at your table?

Happy ones. One capable of being happy when someone else is happy.

21. What's a real life experience you've translated into game terms?

Hrmm…. Lots of little things.

22. Is there an RPG product that you wish existed but doesn't?

A 4E F.R. book that doesn’t make puppies and kitten cry, a nWoD Wraith book,

23. Is there anyone you know who you talk about RPGs with who doesn't play? How do those conversations go?

I avoid these conversations, actually.

Grumpy RPG Columns: Looking at the Announcement for 5E D&D

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 50: Looking at the Announcement for 5E D&D

This is an out of character column, so no Acererak or Baba Yaga.
I examine the announcement of 5E from Mike Mearls and the articles in the New York Times and Forbes.
Mearls make the statement weakly, with little energy.
His announcement is long on vague and idealistic promises, but short on substance.
The Forbes article is the weakest in terms of basic writing, but does include some interesting insights.
The Times article is the best written of the three.
All three are good at conveying the general goals and objectives of 5E, but none are good at selling the idea these objectives and goals will be persued.

Video: A New Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Hrmmm.....

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Grumpy RPG Review: D&D Comic from IDW

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 49: Dungeons and Dragons Comic from IDW

Acererak says Baba Yag is out shopping for dinner.
There have been multiple D&D comics in the past.
The current is produced by IDW Publishing.
It is written by John Rogers, who created the current Blue Beetle and the TV series Leverage.
I say “version violent” when I mean “violent version.”
The comic is fun, quick paced and shows an almost ideal D&D group.
It can serve as an example for others, to brining in new people to the hobby.
There are minor issues with the series, but only minor ones.
D&D Comics gets a 20 on a d20 Roll.
Baba Yaga returns from the market with a sack full of dinner.
Note, next week was going to be a review of the Tough Justice RPG, but that has been postponed for a week. Instead, on Jan. 17 I will be telling everyone what to think of 5E D&D and settling the Edition Wars once and for all.

Videos: Leveraging D&D

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Fiction: EMT

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Professional EMTs see disturbing things.

An automobile accident occurs in a section of the city where a good neighborhood transitions into a bad neighborhood. Vehicles from the fire station, police department and hospital respond to the call. One ambulance holds an emergency medical technician on his first run.

Clearing the intersection of wreckage requires four hours, claiming of the dead by the coroner consumes an hour, extracting the accident’s survivors and transporting them to the local hospital takes 20-minutes, responders arrive on the scene four minutes after receiving the call while the accident itself requires 12 seconds.

This particular accident involves two cars and a truck. A professional welder’s heavy work truck tee-bones a late model domestic sedan as the car crosses a yellow light. The force of the blow throws the sedan into a foreign compact, knocking that car into a pedestrian on the sidewalk and against a telephone pole festooned with posters for yard sales, church picnics and people running for public office.

The young man on his first run as an EMT blinks at the sidewalk. Across already stained concrete the blood from the dead pedestrian congeals and separates into a doughnut pattern, part of it is watery and clear and part of it possesses the consistency of instant pudding. The EMT’s jaw tightens as he attends the sedan. The dead hang limply in that vehicle, held in their seats by useless safety belts the women’s heads gently rest on the ceiling of the inverted car while urine from slack bladders, blood and fluid from inside their skulls pools around their scalps. The young man’s hands tremble when groans escape the welder as medics pull shattered glass from the welder’s face in the hope of saving one of his eyes. Impatient twitches play at the young EMT as he waits to attend the man in the shattered car. The first responders pull the vehicle away from the telephone pole to get at the man in the economy car, his breath and flesh ragged. Once the first responders reach him, the newbie intently bundles the man in sterile cloth, holding his skin down where the accident pealed it away from his body.

The seasoned police officers, firefighters and medical personnel on the scene operate quickly and professionally. These are men and women grown inured to setting their eyes upon the mechanisms of life shattered and scattered across dirty streets. The reactions of the first time EMT are more interesting to these veterans than the accident. To one degree or another, all the veterans note his behavior. Some consider abusing him later and calling this “teasing.” Some think about offering suggestions. None consider offering comfort.

Two experienced men work the same ambulance as the young man and they run the injured man from the site of the accident to the hospital. The driver intends to ridicule the young man when lives are not on the line while the other man – an EMT shift supervisor – intends to point out to the young man his errors, though they are minor. Both assure the young man they have seen many things.

Working in the back of the ambulance, the young man delicately holds up a section of skin peeled - but not severed - from the man to remove bits of glass and plastic when he sees something for which he is not prepared. He asks the veterans if they have encountered this before. The supervisor shines a pocket flashlight into the wound. Looking into the wound the driver and the shift supervisor experience genuine surprise.

Across the inside of the man’s skin are tattoos, none of which are evident on the exterior of his flesh. These tattoos appeared to be text – they come in rows of disturbing symbols similar in size and design – which none of the men recognize. Some of the tattoos skitter away across the inside surface of the bloody flesh and past the interior edges of the wound like roaches fleeing a freshly turned on kitchen light.

Professional EMTs see disturbing things.

Grumpy RPG Reviews: Smallville, the RPG

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Episode 48: Smallville the RPG

(Still taking a stab at this video thing)
The group has been acting as tech support for the Kryptonians.
Smallville the RPG, is of course, based upon the TV of the same name.
It uses a variation of the Cortex System.
This game focuses on character values and relationships.
It has some commendably innovative ideas.
Smallville the RPG, as it is too niche and too dated, gets a 10 on a d20 roll.
This review uses the phrase “…once we shut down all of Brianiac's porn sites..."

Video: Somebody saaaaaaave me.....

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Year in Review

noreply@blogger.com (Robert Sullivan) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Hogfather, the Novel	Novel	20 on a d20
“Original” Tomb of Horrors	RPG Supplement	20 on a d20
Blood Meridian	Novel	20 on a d20
4E Eberron	RPG Supplement	20 on a d20
House of Leaves	Novel	20 on a d20
Vampire the Requiem	RPG	20 on a d20
Needful Things	Novel	20 on a d20
Videodrome	Film	20 on a d20
Hogfather, the Miniseries	TV Program	15 on a d20
Vornheim, the Complete City Kit	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Raiders of Oakhurst	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Sinister Secrets of the Saltmarsh	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Book of Erotic Fantasy	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Dancing Hut of Baba Yaga	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Expedition to the Barrier Peaks	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Tomb of Horrors Series	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Mage the Awakening	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Monte Cook’s Arcana Evolved	RPG	15 on a d20
Savage Worlds Explorers Edition	RPG	15 on a d20
Gloomwrought and Beyond	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Call of Cthulhu	RPG Supplement	15 on a d20
Vampire Translation Guide	RPG Supplement	10 on a d20
Ruins of Enoch	Media Type	10 on a d20
Dogs in the Vineyard	RPG	10 on a d20
Dungeons and Dragons Cartoon	TV Program	10 on a d20
David E. Kelly’s Wonder Woman Pilot	TV Program	5 on a d20
4E Forgotten Realms	RPG Supplement	5 on a d20
Castle Greyhawk	RPG Supplement	1 on a d20
The Forest Oracle	RPG Supplement	-20 on a d20

Rounding out the year of reviews and columns. I gave more perfect scores (20 on a d20 roll) than I realized and I do not hate Forest Oracle, it is just so bad as to be funny. I do hate 4E Forgotten Realms, though...