Mumbling Mommy

10 Tips for Better Professional Photo Sessions

2013-05-13T21:23:00.001-04:00

Preparation makes a difference (before and after)

By Cara, Life's Fotos Portraiture Design

Getting your photos taken is supposed to be a fun experience -- though I know many stress over what to wear, and other pre-photo prepping.

So I've gathered 10 tips that will help you relax and get the best photographs possible, worry-free.

1. Get plenty of sleep- going out, staying out late, and drinking it up will not help you to look your best before a photo shoot. These separately will do you in, and all together, you'll look more like Janis Joplin than your picture-perfect self.

2. Pay attention to the details. Your nails don't have to be painted, but flaky half-painted nails are distracting. You'll want fresh nails, either freshly painted, or have all the paint removed. Check your toe nails too, you never know what your photographer has in store on the fly. This is just one example, but pay attention to any distracting things about your appearance that could affect the photo.

3. Don't show too much skin. Skin naturally draws the eye, bringing the focus away from your face. Most of us want our faces always to be the subject of the photographs, not our knees, elbows or naked shoulders.

4. Pick clothes carefully. Coordinate. Solid Colors. Stay away from patterns in groups. They are distracting, and if the patterns are matchy-matchy, it becomes a bit of a "Where's Waldo?" situation.

5. Feed your kids. Give them a good meal before the shoot. If there are kids under the age of 6, bring snacks. Cheerios are great; save a big treat for after. I hand out dum dum suckers. But only after.

6. Wear makeup. There are a LOT of lights in a photography studio. Lights wash people out, so if you have a photography session, you will need make up. Even if you don't normally wear make up, do for that day. In fact you will need it to be a bit heavier than the normal daytime wear. Think of the singers up on stage or even on television, even the men wear make up just to get a normal appearance because of all the light. Why would this be different in a photo session?

7. Be okay with walking away from the kids. Sometimes kids act better in public and without their parents. Case in point: I had a session with a brother & sister. The boy, let's call him Harry, wanted nothing to do with the session. I talked it over with his mom, she “hid” from sight, close enough if there were any real issues, but out of sight of Harry. It wasn't long before he and I were laughing -- doing silly things that maybe mom wouldn't approve of like sticking out tongues, gross faces and talking about farts...... But we have the best photos from that session! His mom said it was the best thing she could have done! If you choose to stay in eye site, make sure to stand behind the photographer, the kids will be looking at you for approval of “silly things” and if you want great eye contact with the camera, and you are standing off to the side, it is not going to happen.

8. Naked baby photos are awesome. For newborn sessions, even for babies up to 12 months, naked photos are a favorite. And why not? Those cute chubby rolls are adorable! All photographers know that accidents happen. We are prepared for this, but sometimes as parents, you are not. It's okay. We clean it (or have our assistant) and continue on. Don't stress, this will stress the baby too. Honestly, you will be happy if PEE is the only thing that happens, which means don't forget to pack an extra outfit for you too!

9. Buy prints from your photographer. Every photographer has a different outlook on this subject. I know it's the digital age, and you want digital photos. I don't like selling them. Here are my reasons, and I will try not to stand on a soap box.

a) Most digital images never see the light of day. You paid good money for those photos, that are longing to be placed on your wall, but instead will be hiding in some dark closet until you “get around to it.”

b) Not all print labs are the same. There is a lot more that goes into “taking a photo” than clicking the shutter button on a camera. What most consumers don't know is that professional photographers calibrate their cameras to their monitors in their print lab. This means that all of these devices see the same shade of red. Not a burgundy, red & scarlet. We want to give our clients the very best print possible.

If you take that digital file to Walmart and get it printed, it won't look the way I envisioned it, and frankly I wouldn't want your friends to know I photographed it. It is like the worst knock-off of my work. After all, Gucci doesn't like it when his products are reproduced because it's not of the same quality. It's the same for photographers.

10. Practice the chin trick. Now that you've read my very opinionated blurb about digital files, let me give you a tip you are going to love. I use this trick for all the women I photograph, and they LOVE ME for it. Now, you will “feel funny” but honey let me tell you, you will look fabulous! In any photograph, MOM, I'm talking to you now, stick your chin out as far as you can. Think of a “chicken neck”, then bring your chin down, down down, now stop. That is going to get rid of the extra chin, skin, and baggage around your neck/chin area. Try it in the mirror. I had one mom, she had a baby 10 days before I took their family photo, look at the pictures and say “ I love these, I know I have a double chin after the baby, but you can't see it, I guess your crazy posing does work!”

So there you have it. 10 things everyone should keep in mind when getting photographed. If you have any comments or questions feel free to contact me at lifesfotos@gmail.com.

While you are here, you may also enjoy these posts:

How to Use the Night Sky Setting

Photo Angst: Capturing the "Perfect" Shots

Moms: Get IN the Picture

Milestone Reminders that So Much Changes in a Year

Cleveland Kidnappings: Are Our Kids Ever Really Safe?

2013-05-13T07:34:00.000-04:00

By Katie

I try to avoid the 24-hour news cycle. I'm not anti-news, I just don't need to hear the same story rehashed one thousand different ways around the clock.

When the story of the Boston Marathon bombing broke, I listened to the initial details. I

read a thorough piece on the suspects published by the Boston Globe. I watched for 20 minutes as the younger suspect, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, hid in a boat in a backyard and authorities determined how to safely apprehend him. That was about it. I somehow still always know what is going on with that case through a process of media osmosis.

My husband watches MSNBC a lot, so it is on in the background. When I go online to open my Yahoo mailbox, I see the headlines of the day. Retired Air Force personnel discuss the details of those headlines over coffee at the local Panera where I work sometimes. So I keep up on major news stories, even when I'm not trying to let them invade my day.

In general, news stories like the Boston Marathon bombing do not affect my day-to-day routine. Of course I feel sympathy for the lives lost. I got choked up when I read a statement from the family of the eight-year-old boy who was killed near the finish line. I take time to hug my children more tightly after stories break like the school shooting facilitated by Adam Lanza. I am impacted, but never engulfed in the story itself or the accompanying fear.

Well, until last week. The details surrounding the kidnapping and 10-year captivity of three young women in Cleveland at the hands of Ariel Castro have permeated my usually cool news approach. Quite frankly, the story terrifies me because it speaks directly to what I most value, and fret over, in my home: the innocence of my children.

One of the first things we teach our kids when they start exercising some independence outside the home is to not talk to strangers and to never, ever get in a car with one. We develop code words for pickup times and make sure they know their addresses as soon as they can speak so they can always find their way home with the help of a trusted adult, like a teacher or police man. We explain, without frightening them too much, that not all "bad" people look that way and that even though they should usually listen to adults, sometimes it is okay to say "no."

Parents teach these things. Schools teach these things. Police departments teach these things. From an early age, the "stay away from strangers" rule is embedded in our culture. So how then did three separate young women all go against their gut instincts, and the lessons they had learned since toddler years, to accept a ride from a stranger? The details are still coming out but at least at the outset it appears that all three entered the car willingly and accepted his offer to give them a ride home from work. How could they do that? What were they thinking?

I ask these questions not to point blame but rather to emphasize my own fears. I think back to the years I was in the age range of these young women at the time of their abductions. I worked outside the home, sometimes alone at the local beach park (with a lot of cash on hand). I usually had my own car but there were times I had to depend on rides from co-workers, or wait for my parents to pick me up. I worked within walking distance of my grandparents' home and often parked there during very busy park events, which meant walking back to my car alone after dark. I didn't think much of it.

If I had been offered a ride from a stranger, I'd like to think I would have refused it. But what if it was raining? Or I was especially tired after a long shift? Or I just felt like I could trust the person behind the wheel? In retrospect, I wonder how often I came close to a dangerous situation without ever realizing it. And for that matter -- how often do I dance with danger now when out running or walking my neighborhood with or without my kids?

When it comes to most frightening news stories, I rationalize that there really is no way to explain that fear or make it better. Tighter immigration rules won't catch all of the angry people with anti-American vendettas. Locking up all the kids with behavioral problems or spectrum disorders won't prevent violence in our schools. Evil simply exists. We cannot control it or make ourselves any safer by making generalizations about specific groups of people. Most of the time I can make peace with these facts and try to live every day to the fullest despite them.

I'm struggling this time, though. This specific story out of Cleveland has conjured up others from recent years. Elizabeth Smart. Jaycee Dugard. Young women kidnapped out of their own homes or off street corners. I've started waking up at night several times to double check locked doors. I asked my husband if we can start setting the security alarm (normally reserved for long stretches away from home) every night when we go to bed. I've locked my husband out of the house during the day when he was in the yard watering plants. I walked away from my one year old in the bathtub because my older daughter said she thought she saw someone walk into our garage. It ended up being a person leaving an advertisement in our front door but fear gripped me as I rushed back to my littlest alone in the tub (my husband was there, looking incredulous that he had found her alone).

I've started worrying about the people who have been in our house and walked through our middle daughters' room to get to the backyard. The plumber. The bug guy. The air conditioning repairman. What about the guys who mow the lawn and can see into our home if I forget to close the blinds? I found a piece of wood and wedged it in the sliding glass door. I've allowed the girls to sleep other places than their room but not told them why. I fell asleep last night with my hand on my five year old's arm because she was in bed right next to me.

Our kids love to play in the driveway and on the sidewalk out front because they can ride their bikes and scooters and pull their toys around in our wagon. We sit out front with them but now I think play time may only be reserved for the back yard. Too many cars with unknown people drive by. Our neighbor across the street has several visitors every day. I can't possibly gauge the safety or intentions of these people who may or may not want to harm my kids.

As I told my husband, "Who knows who is watching?"

I Googled "GPS for kids" and found backpacks, shoes and other items that can be equipped with non-obvious tracking devices. I wondered aloud why kids can't be micro chipped like dogs.

I realize I'm acting a little bit crazy. I know I can't provide a blanket of security for my kids in every situation. But I also don't want to leave any door open that could be an opportunity for evil to step in. My kids are too important for these things to be left to chance.

All the door locking, and alarm setting, and backyard playing in the world can only keep them safe for so long though. I think that is the part of this latest news story that scares me the most. At some point, all four are going to find themselves in a compromising situation. Maybe it won't be a stranger offering them a ride home from work. Maybe it will be a person who offers to walk them home from a college class. Or a cute guy who wants to buy them a drink. Or a seemingly nice person who makes a seemingly nice offer of some sort that has an ulterior motive.

There is simply no way for me to warn them against everything. As we've seen in the the case of Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight, lifelong cautionary tales about strangers seemed to do no good anyway. My kids are going to have to trust their own judgment millions of times in their lives. Mistakes will happen and as a parent, I can live with that. My worry is not that my kids will be imperfect; it is that someone else will trump their inherent goodness.

I'm hoping my level of crazy dies down a little bit in coming weeks but that I never slip into a state of indifference. I want to remain passionate, if slightly off my tree, regarding my kids' safety and vigilant in teaching them self-protection. My wish is that maybe something I say now will find its way to their memories at the right moment later in life and keep them safe -- even when I can't be there to step in.

You can contact Katie by emailing her at katie@mumblingmommy.com.

While you are here, you may also enjoy these posts:

10 Things I Am, Besides a Mom

Talking to My Girls about Body Image

Should Our Daughters Watch Lingerie Runway Shows?
The Very Pink Problem with Princesses
Preschool Dropoff and Pickup -- Are you a Shiny Mom?

Mother's Day Contest Winner Revealed

2013-05-10T16:25:00.003-04:00

Congrats Debra D., the winner of our Mother's Day giveaway! Please check your email for details on how you will receive your excellent prizes!

As a thank you, the contest sponsors have some special deals for readers. These deals expire at 11:59 p.m. this Sunday, May 12th (Mother's Day). If you liked what was in the contest, take advantage of the deals below.

Our next contest will be for Father's Day, so keep your eyes open! If you would like to sponsor a prize, contact us at mumblingmommy@mumblingmommy.com.

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Enjoy 20 percent off any purchase at Seaside Glass Gallery. Visit the site and use the code MUMBLING at checkout.

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Receive a free web content consultation to grow the online presence of your business from Proof Parsons -- a $100 value. Make the appointment through the Proof Parsons contact form by the end of the day Sunday to be eligible.

Super Mom is a Lie

2013-05-09T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Ginny

Not striving to be Super Mom!

Recently a friend posted on Facebook how much she longed to be like "one of those moms." You know, Super Mom. The mom that always has it together in public.

She never yells at her kids. She's always well dressed. I guess yoga pants don't count? Her make up is perfect. She always has organic snacks at TBall practice, and you just went through the McDonald's drive thru. She cooks three solid organic meals a day. Her house is spotless. She hosts amazing birthday parties for her children and all their sugar-hungry friends. Her kids behave perfectly in public, too! She even had time to go to the gym, do a few loads of laundry, take Fido to the vet, and put that organic meal in the Crock Pot. All in just a few hours. She also works or volunteers regularly at her child's school. Or maybe she even works full time. Okay, so you get my point. I could probably go on and on about how inadequate we often feel.

The point is "super mom" is a lie.

I was one of those moms. Or at least I tried to be. But guess what? We really can't do it all. I often found myself cranky with the kids when I should've been enjoying them. I yelled. A lot. No matter how hard I tried, my house just wasn't ever clean enough. I worked full time and strove to prove to the world that I could do it all with four kids. I was exhausted. My relationship with my kids was strained. And my spiritual life was dry. God didn't call us to be perfectionists. He called us to be moms.

When we lost our son nearly two years ago, Super Mom forgot everything. Even how to function on a daily basis. The fact that my kids were fed regularly was a miracle. I had to re-learn everything I had done so easily before.

I also had to let some things go. I decided my house didn't have to be perfect. I just wanted to enjoy my kids. I don't yell like I used to because 1.) it's damaging to children and your relationship with them. And 2.) it's a huge waste of energy. My kids misbehave in public. I might cook a couple of sorta organic meals a day. I don't wear much make-up. I am generally most comfortable in yoga pants. My kids are much more relaxed and happier now. And I honestly think they're better for it. I don't ever want to go back to being the mom I was, because I think this one is better. I don't miss striving for other people to see my perfection while hiding my imperfection behind closed doors. My goals are no longer people focused but rather Christ focused.

Before you envy that mom that appears to be "super mom," think about the unseen. What might be going on in her personal life? Does she really have it all together or is she just trying to prove herself to the world? Because honestly, we can't be the "super mom" society expects of us. What we can do is love on our kids and enjoy every little ounce of the childhood they have before it's too late and they're all grown up.

Ginny is a wife and very cool mom to four kiddos. She is a stay-at-home mom who home schools. In her spare time, she enjoys running, writing and photography. She hopes to someday run a marathon and also improve her photography skills enough to join the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation. Ginny has her own personal blog at It's a Wonderful Mess.

While you're here, you may enjoy these other posts:

Finding my identity as a mom

The golden child

A day in the life of a home schooling mom

Thursday Three: Reasons Our Family Doesn’t Have Pet

2013-05-08T20:00:00.000-04:00

Sweet and difficult little Oliver

By Heather C.

Growing up we always had at least one pet, most of the time multiples. We had dogs, cats, hamsters, birds, fish; I think we even had mice at one point, possibly a gerbil? Like I said, we had a lot of pets. (Not all at the same time!)

I don’t dislike animals. I didn’t mind having pets growing up. But now as an adult, our family of five does not have pets. And to clarify, we have no intention of ever having a pet again.

Just two months after buying our first house, my husband and I adopted a 9-month-old beagle mix stray. We had no children at that point. We had a large backyard. Everything seemed pretty awesome. We enjoyed Oliver’s company. He was a sweet dog. But he was simply too much to handle.

Just after finding out I was pregnant a second time (before even knowing that two babies were growing inside me) we made the difficult decision to turn Oliver back in to the adoption agency he came from. We felt really bad but we knew we couldn’t give him what he deserved. – By the way, he was quickly adopted by a lovely family with older children and other beagles and several acres of land to explore. – We still display a picture of Oliver in our home and our oldest remembers him and asks about him every once in a while.

Knowing the experience we already had, here are three reasons why we will remain a pet-free family:

Allergies: My husband and daughter are allergic to cats. We tried a dog and it didn’t work long term. Every once in a while I’m told that cats make better pets or we should get smaller animals. It’s hard to commit to a new animal knowing we already have pet allergies and have no idea what else we could have a reaction to. Itchy, red and watery eyes are not fun.
Messy: Animals eat and poop just like humans. They make messes. I have three kids to clean up after. That’s the most I can handle. I can hardly keep their play space clean as it is, I don’t need dog hair or mud tracks to worry about too. My kids pick up tiny dust bunnies and crumbs with their newfound pincer grasp. The last thing I need is them eating a crumb of dried mud (or worse poop) tracked in on the dog’s foot. (Or tracked around from the cat’s litter box.)
Expensive: We are a one income family. I do a minimal amount of freelance work on the side to help fund extras like fun vacations and family outings but our day to day expenses are all paid for by the hard work my husband does. We are already scraping every last nickel out of our bank account each paycheck trying to buy healthier food options for us and our kids. We simply cannot make room for more expenses. Pets have to be fed. They have to have meds to stay healthy. They need beds and outdoor shelter. They need collars or cages; leashes or hamster balls. They need toys to play with. (Or they chew up or ruin your kids’ toys.) They aren’t free. They don’t just hang out at the house.

I know at some point my girls will be old enough to help take care of pets and quite possibly will beg for one with their sad droopy eyes and pouty lips. I’m not saying I’m completely against the idea of a pet. (Because remember, I’m not an animal hater.) But right now in our lives, we definitely don’t have room for pets. Maybe (and that’s a BIG maybe) we’ll talk about it again in the future. Honestly though, I think I’d rather have another child than get a pet!

Heather C is a co-blogger for AmateurParenting.com. She claims expertise in a variety of parenting topics including tips and tricks to make it easier. AmateurParenting.com features advice, stories and reviews directed towards parents at every level because when it comes to children, none of us really know what we are doing anyway. The site has over 200 followers on Facebook and is visited by several thousand viewers a month. Heather also specializes in parenting multiples, all things girls, and keeping life from getting too overwhelming.

While you are here, you may also enjoy these posts:

Kitty Therapy Works

Saying Good Bye to the Family Pet

Three Indulgences That You Can Make Yourself

Tips On Keeping Your Toys In Check

Happy 1st Birthday, My Little Pistol

2013-05-08T00:01:00.000-04:00

By Katie

Erinn, just a few hours old

As my youngest child's first birthday was approaching, I started to brainstorm some ideas for a post that would best commemorate it. When my oldest turned five last month, I nearly had a nervous breakdown every day in the two weeks leading up to the celebration. I was a mess.

When I wrote my post for her 5th birthday, I was streaked with tears by the end and full of nostalgia for the times we have already shared. I'm still not sure what exactly pushed my buttons on such a deep emotional level with that birthday, but she turned five nevertheless.

Erinn at her one-year photo shoot

Of course I set out to create a post for my baby that was just as meaningful, touching and heart-string-pulling as the one I wrote for the older one. But every time I went to sit down and write the post, no words came. Perhaps I set the bar too high, or placed too much pressure on myself, to make Erinn's birthday piece as memorable as Emilia's.

Then my close friend Lori posted a gorgeous first-birthday piece for her daughter Halle with idyllic references to a sunny spring day at the park -- and the bar went up a little higher. I re-read a piece Rachael wrote about her adorable Abby turning one and it was good. Really darn good. I'd love to say that both writers took all my ideas about embracing motherhood, and enjoying babies, and living every moment to the fullest, so now I have nothing else to add, but that would be a stretch. My brain was void of quotable passages long before I got choked up reading those pieces.

The truth is that there are infinite lessons, one for every second of every hour of every day, that I have discerned since my little 7-pound, 11-ounce girl used her first breaths to cry just one year ago today. Like all human babies in their first year of life, she has changed by leaps and bounds, from one moment to the next. While always amazing to watch, this is not shocking.

What has surprised me the most are the changes I've gone through on a personal level. I'm not new to being a mom. Between my daughter and stepkids, I have watched three little ones go through various stages of baby- and toddler-hood. I'd like to think I'm a seasoned parent in the pre-K age group and yet on more occasions than I can count, Erinn has directly or indirectly enlightened me. A few examples that stand out include:

A deeper understanding of my stepkids' mom. Before Erinn, I only knew one way to raise a baby: alone. My oldest daughter's dad and I never had long talks about what a child together may look like, or act like, or how we hoped to share the duties of child rearing when she came. After she was born, we never collaborated, or went to doctor's appointments together, or texted each other cute pics of the baby while the other was at the grocery store. Before I had a baby with a committed partner, I didn't have a whole lot of empathy for my husband's ex (not that she wanted it) or put much thought into how losing a parenting partner must feel. She and my husband co-parent quite well, but several nights every week she is not able to tuck her kids in, or pick them up from school. Some nights they are asleep before she gets the chance to FaceTime them. I've never had to meet someone halfway and pass off my children. I've never had to split a holiday, or birthday, or ask for permission to take a summer vacation that extends over my prescribed days. In my mind, I used to think that I knew how their mom felt because I too had been a single mom. I now realize the two situations are not the same and it has made me more understanding; I get it now and it stings a little.
Acceptance of the things I cannot change. If you are new to this blog, let me tell you a little something about my precious Erinn: she is a pistol. A few moments after she was born, I glanced back at the scale where two delivery nurses were getting ready to weigh her. She locked her legs in a standing position. It took about a minute for the nurses to get her in the more newborn-appropriate angle they needed for an accurate weigh in. I could hear her wailing in the nursery during her bath, among all the other serene

newborns, as I was wheeled to my recovery room. She muscled her way out of all swaddling. She threw pacifiers on the ground. She is a firm bottle refusal advocate. The Baby Bjorn we bought brand new looks like it has been passed down from one kid to the next because it is so faded and ragged from baby-wearing (nearly) around the clock. I researched her personality on the Internet and discovered she was a classic case of a high needs baby. When our other kids are going to bed for the night, Erinn is often just getting started. The hours that she is most delightful are unfortunately the ones when my husband and I are the most exhausted. As my husband often says, she is a handful. As the other kids often say (presumably they overheard this), Erinn is "really something." At some point I stopped worrying about what she "should" be doing when it came to feeding, sleeping and general activities and refocused that energy on enjoying who she is instead. She is slowly gaining some independence and veering away from her mommy-centrism. Before I know it, she will have a "Keep Out" sign and caution tape on her bedroom door. I don't need to change who she is to be a good parent to her, or my other kids. I just needed to accept that not every moment is a challenge that as a parent I need to accomplish; sometimes it's okay to just let your kids be who they are at that moment in time. They won't stay that way for long.
The bonding power of a baby. Before Erinn, our family was disjointed. Due to my optimistic nature, I never liked to think that. But it was true. Our kids had no common thread tying them together as siblings. My husband and I had no flesh-and-blood connection to each other. I had trouble bonding with my mother-in-law because her grandchildren had a different mother; my child was adopted in, and embraced, but there was still something out of sync. I could have rounded everyone up and attended years of family therapy, or read the entire self-help section at the library, to try to find a way to fill the voids that I sensed all around me. Instead, I had a baby. I'm not saying that every interaction in my life is perfect (or that we don't need therapy) -- but Erinn has been the missing piece in so many relationship puzzles. While my first child taught me volumes about standing on my own two feet (with some wonderful support around me), my second has taught me the value of being a part of something bigger than just the two of us.

Each day is a new adventure with Erinn. She keeps my life interesting and pushes me to be a better, more patient and less judgmental person. I like to call her my precious angel (when she is sleeping). I often wonder what this little spark plug of a baby is going to be like when it comes time for me to write her 5-year post. As with my other kids, that day will come too quickly. So for now, I'm just going to revel in her one-year-oldness.

Happy Birthday, my precocious little Erinn. I can't imagine a better gift to our family than you.

Katie Parsons is a freelance writer who lives with her four children, husband and the sound of the ocean nearby. She is writing a memoir about the time when she was single and pregnant. She owns a content creation company and you can contact her by emailing her at katie@mumblingmommy.com.

While you are here, you may also enjoy these posts:

There's (Potential For) No Crying in Sleep Training

Six Months of Survival with a High Needs Baby
What is a High Needs Baby (and Do I Have One?)

Three Things Parents Tend to Forget about Newborns

5 Mother's Day Gift Ideas: Stepping it Up

2013-05-07T09:18:00.001-04:00

Most moms are really easy when it comes to buying, or even making, gifts. A coffee mug, framed picture or even a hand-written card will suffice for Mother's Day. When it comes to gifts, moms really do abide by the mantra "it is the thought that counts."

But what if you want to step it up a little bit for the moms on your list this year? Maybe this past year has been full of terrible two's, or teenage angst, and you appreciate your own mom a little bit more. Maybe you are a dad looking for a good idea for the mother of your kids that shows her you view her as more than just that.

Here are some ideas for a Mother's Day gift that will make any mom in your life feel appreciated:

Wine Stopper Bling

Spa certificates. For most moms, a trip to the spa comes after every other item on the budget list. Actually, it probably doesn't even have a budget line at all. Maybe you cannot afford to pay for an entire day of pampering, but shell out some cash for a half-hour massage or facial.
Wine. Not all moms drink, but for the ones who enjoy an occasional indulgence, look for a mid-to-expensive bottle of wine. Make an entire basket of wine accessories, including a bottle stopper or bottle opener, to go with the gift.
Digital frames. Instead of picking just one or two pictures to give to mom this year, spend the extra money on a digital frame that can store hundreds of photos. If you have enough, upload 365 -- one for each day of the coming year.
Anything techy. It seems like dads often get the new gadgets for their birthdays or Father's Day -- but moms like technology too. Think about buying her an e-reader or new computer. If you aren't sure what to get, or have a really limited budget, get her a gift card to buy her own items or downloads.
Jewelry. You really can't go wrong here. Think about a necklace or bracelet with the birthstones of all her kids, or even small diamond earrings. Jewelry is not a "need," but it is always nice to open an unexpected precious gem (or metal!).

I know that I would personally love ANY of these gifts -- though I'll be fine with a macaroni necklace made by my little ones too.

What luxurious gifts are on your Mother's Day wishlist?

This post was brought to you by the friendly staff of Seaside Glass Gallery in Longwood, Florida.

When a Peacock Tests My Patience

2013-05-06T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Rachael

My daughter with the peacock who caused all the trouble.

No one wants to be that angry parent in public. I see the occasional frazzled mom yelling at her kids as she pushes her cart up and down the grocery store aisles, and I feel smug in my belief that I am not that type of mom. Except I was last week. For about two seconds, I was that angry parent in public.

It happened during my 5-year-old’s preschool class zoo field trip. I wasn’t expecting it. We weren’t having a particularly “yelly” day. Maybe it was the combination of the drizzly cold weather, a busy morning wrangling children, and an alarm clock that went off earlier than usual. Oh, and that little problem my daughter has with listening, or not listening. I have to remind myself that most preschoolers have trouble listening, but some days are still rough.

It happened while we were on our way to use the bathroom after lunch. A handsome peacock unfurled his tail feathers and flaunted them boldly just outside the bathroom door. He created a fascinating distraction, and it took the class three times longer than usual to use the bathroom. I stood near the stroller where my 1-year-old was strapped in and snapped photos of my 5-year-old admiring the peacock with friends. They crept as close to him as they dared and cheesed for the camera.

I was in the middle of recording video footage when I noticed many children who were not part of our group were reaching out to touch the tips of the peacock’s tail feathers. Some of the adults quietly said, “Don’t touch the peacock.” Kids continued to touch him. More parents asked children not to touch the bird’s feathers. No one listened. I saw my daughter join the offending children and touch the peacock’s tail. I told her not to touch. She touched, and I temporarily lost my head.

“MEGAN! NO!”

I surprised myself by how loud and firm I sounded. The small group of children and adults around us got quiet and suddenly no one was touching the peacock. I sounded exactly like one of those moms yelling at her kids in the grocery store, except I’m not that type of mom. At least I try not to be. We are fans of Parenting with Love and Logic in our household, which helps us avoid most angry outbursts.

One little blonde girl, who I thought was one of my daughter’s classmates, casually asked, “Why can’t we touch the peacock?”

I don’t know whether peacocks are especially fragile or cranky. Not touching him seemed like the right thing to do.

“You shouldn’t touch him because you could hurt his feathers,” I said calmly.

Then I realized the girl was not from my daughter’s class. Her mother came up beside her and hurried her into the nearby bathroom. I’d want to get my child away from the crazy yelling lady, too. Megan was unfazed. She grabbed a chocolate chip cookie out of the stroller and followed me as we walked back toward our group, which was ready to move on to the sea lion exhibit.

Megan is accustomed to getting in trouble for not listening. Earlier this week, I scolded her for not holding the side of the cart and staying close while we crossed the grocery store parking lot, after I asked her twice to hold the cart. When I picked her up from preschool the other day, she emerged from her classroom clutching a little snack baggy full of puppy chow the class made. I repeatedly told her to put her puppy chow and her day's worth of art projects in her backpack so we could go home for lunch. Megan, however, sees pickup time as extra free time to interact with friends. She chatted it up and set all her stuff down in random multiple places, and the puppy chow disappeared. There were tears. I refrained from saying, "I told you so." I'm pretty sure her ears work and that this is just part of being 5 years old, but that doesn’t make it less frustrating for me. My outburst in front of the peacock was a cumulative thing.

Still, the scene replayed in my mind the rest of the day. My scolding was within reason, but I hated how angry I sounded. And in front of a crowd of happy parents and children. Later at home, we looked at our pictures from the day and watched several videos I recorded at the zoo. In the last video, Megan can be clearly seen touching the peacock’s feathers, just before I turned off the recording feature and yelled at her. “Is that when you yelled at me to not touch the peacock?” she asked.

We mostly enjoy a placid, pleasant family life. The pleasant days far outnumber the harried days. Still, we all have those days. My husband assured me it’s okay. He remarked that evening, “If your patience doesn’t get tested occasionally, you’re not human.” I’ll get over my embarrassment about being that angry mom in public, hug my daughter who has forgotten about it by now, and continue to help her with her listening lapses. Maybe we'll just stay away from peacocks for a while, too.

Rachael is a journalist turned stay-at-home mom. When she’s not busy with her family, you’ll find her gardening, singing with ladies from church, or reading Charlotte Bronte novels. You can contact her by e-mailing Rachael@mumblingmommy.com.

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Celebrating One Year of Life: What a Wonderful World

2013-05-06T08:43:00.001-04:00

By Lori

One year ago today, I woke up uncertain of what my day would hold. Several times in the dark of the night, I had woken up feeling twinges in my stomach. Instead of the obvious, I chalked it up to be some indigestion from the blooming onion my husband and I had eaten the night before as we celebrated our four-year-anniversary at Outback Steakhouse. But once I rose from bed and went downstairs, I realized something: I was in early labor.

Max meeting his new baby sister for the first time.

Thoughts spun through my mind: Can I really in be labor? I don’t want to go to the hospital and get sent home! I don’t want to call my family and not really be in labor! How can I be in labor? My son was six days late, this baby can’t possible come today!

While it was just four days before my due date, it didn’t seem possible this little lady I was dying to meet could actually be ready to make her way into the world today.

I woke my husband and told him that I thought today was the Big Day. We were both ecstatic, and I nervous. I gave Max extra hugs, realizing this is the last day we’d be a family of three. It didn't seem possible we'd soon be back in this very house with our daughter. We called family members to come take care of Max so we could head to hospital. They arrived excited about the newest member of the family, and we left eager to get this show on the road.

They checked me into triage and told me I was dilated to 4 centimeters, but not quite in active labor. The nurse suggested I walk for an hour. The hour flew by as I walked the hospital halls grimacing through the contractions, but realizing it meant we were that much closer to meeting our second little angel. The nurse re-checked my cervix to discover I had progressed just one centimeter, but I was admitted. Hooray!

A short (thanks to the epidural) two hours later my baby girl was born!

There are no words that can describe the moment that passes through your mind when you meet your baby for the first time.

The nurse laid my crying, seven-pound girl on my chest and I could do nothing but beam. I tell her that she’s every bit as magnificent as I ever could have dreamed. I tell her that even though I’m just officially meeting her, it feels like I’ve known her forever. I tell her she’s right where she belongs.

An hour later, my in-laws arrived with our son. Seeing my son lay his eyes on our new, seven-pound-two-ounce little girl brought me to happy tears. Leading up to this moment, I had felt especially nervous. I worried: would he embrace her? Would he resent her? In reality, things went just as well as I hoped. He looked right at her when we told him that she is his new baby sister, that’s he’s now a big brother. He poked her nose. He poked her eyes. He smiled and hugged her.

As I look back at the journey of this year with my daughter, stare into her dark brown eyes & dimpled cheek, I experience for the second time a love and a fullness in my heart that I never knew was missing. She's the daughter and friend I never had. She's another piece of this puzzle I call my wonderful life. I reflect on not just what she's given me in the form of a child and a daughter; but what she's taught me during this one short year on Earth. She’s taught me patience and perseverance. My two children have taught me to love unconditionally, with my whole heart. They’ve taught me to forgive easily and to laugh often. Laughter is often the only way to keep your serenity.

Most of all they’ve taught me to slow down. You live this life one time. Stop and smell the roses. The laundry can wait. Unload the dishwasher later. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It probably really isn’t that big of a deal. But these kids are young now. They want me now. They need me now. Embrace these moments.

As my daughter turns one today, I feel joy. Yes, I have that bittersweet feeling in the pit of my stomach as I realize this little girl of mine is growing up, and I realize that she may be my last baby. But instead of dwelling on the inevitable, I embrace her milestones and cheer her on, and I look forward to the months ahead. It is so amazing to see your children’s smiley faces learn, grow, and explore.

Halle eating a cupcake during her one-year
photo shoot by Kate Leach Photography.

We spent a lot of last week at the park, enjoying the spring sunny days Indiana had to offer. I pushed my kids on the swing and heard their giggles and smiled back at their happy faces. I watch them with bliss and a happy heart. My eyes fill with tears of thanks for these wonderful children that I can call mine. As a blink and a single tear rolls down my cheek, they both look at me in wonder with wide, curious eyes. I smile and tell them I love them.

The breeze blows and I hear a dog barking, I smell the sweet smell of spring in the air. I bask in this glorious, perfect moment in time. I want it to last forever. I grin at their little faces and as a song by the great Louis Armstrong comes to mind. I start singing to them: “And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.” What a wonderful, wonderful world.

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Mother's Day Giveaway 2013

2013-05-05T16:11:00.001-04:00

We all know that being a mom is not often rewarded in material ways -- and most days of the year, that is fine. Mother's Day is an exception, of course. Even if all you get from your kids is a hug and handwritten card, the recognition is nice.

We want to make this Mother's Day even nicer for one lucky reader. We are awarding one contest entrant with a package that contains:

His and Her onesies and matching bow, courtesy of With Faith, a baby clothing line. The onesies are sized 3 - 6 months. Both were hand painted by the company owners (see below!). All such perfect colors for summer!

A matching flower clip and earrings (for mom!), courtesy of Pretty Colleen, handmade jewelry and accessories. The earrings are antique silver with three Swarovski crystals dangling from each flower charm and are on French hooks.The flower clip is a turquoise satin hand sewn flower with a colorful fabric and Swarovski crystal center.

A wine and cheese accessory package, courtesy of Seaside Glass Gallery. This Venetian-style foil bottle topper and color fusion cheese plate are both handmade by the artists at Seaside.

A tube of T ru Hue Mineral Lip Mousse in Peony. The Tru Hue products are the creation of makeup expert Marcella Cardinal who has worked with celebrities and royalty. She has several makeup tutorials on Tyra Bank's website.
Thank you Marcella for making one mom look like a star!

A $25 Starbucks gift card, courtesy of Proof Parsons, an online content creation company. Get your coffee on -- cheers to moms!

To enter, use the contest entry widget below. One winner will be chosen randomly at
3 p.m. EST on Friday, May 10th and contacted that afternoon.

Read on for a little bit more on the generous companies that have made this contest a reality. Good luck mamas!

With Faith is a baby clothing line created by two friends in Houston Texas. Stevie is a mom of two baby boys who enjoys making items in her free time. Erica is a graduate of FIDM with a background in visual merchandising for stores including Baby Gap. Both friends have a keen eye for detail and a passion for all things baby fashion!

Web address: www.facebook.com/withfaithbaby
Instagram ID: withfaithclothing

Pretty Colleen offers one-of-a-kind handmade jewelry and accessories. Owner Maura is a South Florida girl at heart, living with her husband and son in Chicago. She is also a regular blogger here on Mumbling Mommy.

Web address: http://www.etsy.com/shop/PrettyColleen

Seaside Glass Gallery is a leading designer and retailer of ceramic and glass home decor and gift items. The company is located in Longwood, Florida and specializes in eclectic and tropical designs.

Web address: http://www.seasideglassgallery.com/107/home.htm
Pinterest location: http://pinterest.com/seasideglass/

Tru Hue Makeup features a six-step system to give all users the flawless look of a celebrity or bride every single day. Owner Marcella Cardinal learned all about the art of makeup by working with royalty in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. She has trained internationally and says she has a passion for making women look and feel beautiful in their own skin.

Web address: http://www.truhuemakeup.com/#
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TruHueMakeup

Proof Parsons is an online content creation company that specializes in writing company blogs, websites, e-newsletters and press releases. The company also offers social media account maintenance, proofreading services and advice on improving search engine page rank. Owner Katie is also the creator and editor of Mumbling Mommy.

Web address: www.proofparsonscontentcreation.com

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Are you a Hypocritical Parent?

2013-05-01T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Heather C.

I’ve long been an advocate for parenting the way you choose, to never criticize someone else, to have empathy for your momma co-parts and to really walk a day in their shoes before being so quick to judge. There are so many different parenting styles that it’s really unfair to be that mom: the know-it-all, that comments on everything you do thinking she’s better than you.

With all that said though, there is one parenting style that you absolutely need to stop practicing immediately. I was guilty of it myself. In fact, I’m betting most parents are guilty of it without even thinking about it. Do NOT be a hypocritical parent.

There is no true definition of a hypocritical parent. And I suppose that term can be taken a couple different ways but for the purposes of this piece, a hypocritical parent is one that preaches to their children about what to do but forgets to lead by example.

“Do as I say, not as I do.” Who thought of that quote anyway? That’s the worst quote I’ve ever heard. If you are a parent, you are shaping a human being, teaching her everything she needs to know about life and how to grow up into a healthy, smart and independent adult. What makes you think that they are going to learn by your words alone? Absolutely not. They are watching your every mood. You think adults notice all the reasons life’s not fair? Think again. Go talk to your three year old. They catch EVERYTHING.

There are three big examples of this hypocritical parenting that I see most:

1.     Healthy eating. How many times have you told your child they need to drink juice instead of soda but not hesitated to drink a soda yourself? How many times have you ordered the applesauce as their side dish for dinner but gotten deep fried onion rings for yourself? How about this? What did you do when you were pregnant? Took vitamins. Ate lots of fruits and vegetables. Drank a ton of water. Extra stretches. Went for walks. No caffeine or alcohol or smoking or heavy medications… And as soon as the baby was born what did you do? I bet most of you are answering that you went right back to where you started. You made healthy decisions for your child but not yourself? Sounds like a hypocrite to me.

2.      Language. How often do we tell our kids, “Don’t say that,” or “That’s not nice?” You tell them not to curse, not to use yep or yeah or crap or hate or stupid… And guess what we say the second the kids aren’t around? These words don’t really add to intelligent conversation so why are we even using them? Words come with emotion. If you are teaching your child to say “Shoot” instead of the alternative are you actually helping them with that frustration? Think about it.

3.      Actions. On one too many occasions, my daughter has caught me doing the exact opposite of what I tell her. “Eat all your food.” (“Mommy, you left food on your plate.”) “Look both ways before you cross the street.” (“I didn’t see you turn your head though.”) “Don’t run in the house, you’ll trip” (“How did you fall mom?”) Are you seeing my point?

So the quote about doing what you say definitely sucks. “Actions speak louder than words.” Now THAT is a quote I can get behind. Let’s live out our lives like we were taught by our parents to do and not conform to the norms of rude and unhealthy adults around us. Do not be that kind of hypocrite.

Heather C is the owner and writer for the Magical Chaos Blog. She is newly trained in taking each day at a time and embracing the twists life throws at her. Being a parent is what she knows best. Magical Chaos features stories, product reviews, and tips for parents just trying to make it through. The site has just recently re-launched. You can “like” the blog on Facebook and read more from Heather on her website. Heather also specializes in parenting girls, all things twins, and trying to live a healthier life.

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White Coat Syndrome: It’s All in My Head

2013-04-30T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Rachael

No high blood pressure for me during childbirth!

I get nervous about doctor’s appointments. I mean really nervous. Nothing all that terrible has ever happened to make me fear doctor’s visits, at least that I can remember. I suffer from a condition called white coat syndrome, or white coat hypertension, which makes my blood pressure spike to impressive levels.

Most people get a little nervous prior to doctor appointments, but it’s different for people with white coat syndrome. Here’s the best way I can describe it: I know it’s important to be calm when having my blood pressure taken, but that’s like being told not to blink or swallow for a minute. Suddenly, you get the overwhelming urge to blink or swallow. When I know it’s important to feel calm while having my blood pressure taken, I get nervous.

It’s a vicious cycle. Over the years, I’ve come to anticipate the nerves. Knowing that I’m most likely going to feel nervous and have a high blood pressure reading makes me more nervous. I get uptight before I arrive in the doctor’s office, and it slowly builds.

My worst experience happened when I had been married for about eight months. I was living in a new city and needed to find a doctor for my annual well woman checkup. I also was looking to vet out a potential doctor to deliver my future babies. I found an ob/gyn office in the phone book. It was close to where I lived and had female doctors, whom I prefer, so I booked an appointment to see their nurse practitioner. My blood pressure was high. When I tried to explain and even showed her my normal readings taken at home, the nurse practitioner told me I had an anxiety disorder and needed medication.

“But it only happens at the doctor’s office,” I said.

“Some people only need anxiety medication in very specific situations,” she replied. “Like people who are anxious about crossing bridges might take some Xanax before crossing a bridge.”

What?!

I ran far and fast from that office and found an excellent ob/gyn office with three doctors who have guided me through both of my pregnancies. I have a blood pressure monitor I use from time to time at home, and my readings are always normal. I still have high blood pressure on occasion in the exam room, but the nurses and doctors understand the phenomenon. During my last week of pregnancy with my second daughter, my doctor was out of town, so another doctor in the practice saw me for my last prenatal visit.

“I see your blood pressure has been all over the place during your pregnancy,” she said in a matter of fact tone as she glanced over my chart.

“It sometimes gets high in the doctor’s office,” I said sheepishly.

“It’s called white coat syndrome,” she said. “It happens a lot.”

I could have hugged her. Instead, I spent some quality time with her when she delivered my daughter after I went into labor less than 12 hours later. During my hospital stays when I had both of my daughters, I never had high blood pressure. That’s probably because it’s a more long-term setup and my nerves have time to settle.

If the day ever comes when my blood pressure remains high outside of the doctor’s office, I’m willing to take blood pressure medication, which is different from the anxiety drug Ms. Bad Nurse Practitioner wanted to dose me up with. Research indicates that white coat syndrome sufferers are more likely to develop true hypertension as they grow older. What I don’t want to do is take medication for the normal emotional ups and downs of life. Everyone has times when blood pressure spikes, whether it’s a job interview, tensions with coworkers, or misbehaving children. I worry that too much of life is becoming over medicated.

In the meantime, for fellow white coat syndrome sufferers, here are a few methods I’ve developed for coping:

1. Visualize your doctor’s appointment. I spend time picturing myself walking into the waiting room and back into the exam room, chatting with the nurse, and getting my blood pressure taken. It helps to take away some of the mystique and the anxiety about the unknown.

2. Visualize positive events that will happen after your doctor’s appointment. I like to give myself something good to look forward to, whether it’s a visit from my parents during the upcoming weekend or taking my girls to story time at the library the next day. Sometimes it’s as simple as going to the grocery store without kids immediately after my appointment. I might also reward myself for getting through my appointment by picking up Taco Bell afterward for lunch. I am very specific and envision just how good those Nachos BellGrande will taste and how they’ll crunch when I bite into them. The more specific the mental image, the less I focus on the unpleasant experience of sitting for my blood pressure reading.

3. Breathe deeply. This suggestion comes from my mother-in law, a nurse, who says it really does work.

4. Compartmentalize. This is another suggestion from my nurse mother-in law. Tell yourself that you will not think about an upcoming stressful situation (like a doctor’s visit) until a certain time. I might tell myself I won’t think about it until the morning of my appointment when I’m getting ready. This is easier said than done, but it helps me avoid dwelling on the issue for days in advance.

5. Take blood pressure readings at home, or on the free machine at the drugstore. Knowing my blood pressure is normal at home gives me confidence, which helps me relax in the doctor’s office. It may also help desensitize me to having my blood pressure taken.

6. Find a new doctor. Some doctors understand white coat hypertension and are willing to work with patients. Others instantly want to prescribe medication. Like I mentioned earlier, I have no problem with medication, but I don’t want to take medicine to “treat” a normal reaction to what my body perceives as a stressful situation. There are other treatments besides medication, too. Exercise, weight loss, and learning relaxation techniques may solve the problem. If you’re uncomfortable with your doctor’s approach to managing your blood pressure, go elsewhere!

I’ve also read that something called cognitive behavioral therapy works wonders, although I haven’t tried it myself. My methods above aren’t foolproof. I still get nervous sometimes in the doctor’s office. My blood pressure was slightly elevated at my last well woman visit a month ago. But every little bit helps, and at least I have another year before I’ll start worrying about it again.

Rachael is a journalist turned stay-at-home mom. When she’s not busy with her family, you’ll find her gardening, cooking, or reading Charlotte Bronte novels. You can contact her by e-mailing Rachael@mumblingmommy.com.

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Looking for Madeleine

2013-04-29T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Elizabeth

When I was thirteen years old, I fell in love. No, it wasn’t with a boy (this time), but with a novel: A Wrinkle in Time. This book had everything a shy, geeky, brunette girl like me could wish for: a shy, geeky, brunette heroine (who gets the boy!), adventure, fantasy, religion, politics, and a dash of humor. Like thousands of girls before me, I identified strongly with Meg Murray and have loved Madeline L’Engle’s works ever since.

As a young adult, I discovered L’Engle’s nonfiction works: her Crosswicks journals, her writings on Christianity, and my favorite, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith andArt. Her generous theology, sense of wonder, and love of creativity resonated with me. Here at last was the grown-up Meg Murray! But for all my adoration, I felt a touch of anxiety, too. In her autobiographies, L’Engle somehow managed to have the perfect marriage, a celebrated writing career, and an affectionate family. She even got to spend her weekdays in New York City and her weekends in the country. Her life seemed to be the best of all possible worlds, and her books implied that if you were on the right path, you would not have to “choose” between career and family.

While reading these books, I was a newly married graduate student working to live out my childhood dream of being a writer: poetry, short stories, plays, etc. I took every workshop offered at my school, twice. I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. And (surprise!) the first years of marriage aren’t that easy either. Where had I gone wrong? What would Madeleine L’Engle do?

Ten years and two kids later, I spend much less time worrying about how my life “should be” and simply live it. But I still couldn’t resist picking up Listening for Madeline at the library the moment I recognized the face on the cover. I had no idea how eye-opening it would be.

Listening for Madeline is not your typical biography. It’s more like a Chuck Close painting: fifty separate interviews, fifty distinct images of the same person, somehow coalescing into a whole. Turning the pages, I was amazed at the seeming contradictions. One person gushes about Madeline’s warmth; the next complains that she could be cold and exacting. Young writers and students talk about her role as a mentor and surrogate parent, willing to take any promising young person under her wing. Yet others who knew the whole family describe a mother who wanted her children to be seen and not heard, who found it easier to connect to strangers than to her own family. Perhaps the most shocking information is that her marriage to Hugh Franklin was often tumultuous and, on his side, unfaithful.

What happened to that perfect life? It didn’t exist. Apparently Madeline’s autobiographies glossed over “the truth” of her life to paint a picture of a better life, perhaps the one she wished she had. Her children claim that her autobiographical works were less grounded in reality than her novels. However, as at least one interviewee explains, L’Engle did not grow up in the age of tell-all confessionals. Her generation was expected to hide the dirty laundry of their lives.

Reading the book, I also experienced conflicting emotions: surprise, sadness, and even a little relief. My hero wasn’t perfect; she didn’t “have it all.” She had to choose between work and family, and she chose her work. We still debate the work-lifebalance for women, and she lived it in the 1950s and 1960s, with no iPad, no telecommuting, and no concept of a “work at home” mother. My husband asked me if I lost respect for her work, knowing that she fudged the details of her life to make it sound better than it really was. No, I said, it just shows that she was human: flawed, full of contradictions, and striving, but not managing, to be better than she was. Just like the rest of us.

Elizabeth is a full-time stay-at-home mom, part-time Humanities professor, and still quite geeky. You can contact her by e-mailing her at Elizabeth@mumblingmommy.com.

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Purple, NOT Perfect! (No "Mother of The Year Award" Here)

2013-04-28T19:20:00.001-04:00

By Heather Novak

I am out of the running for that coveted "Mother of the Year Award" again this year. It was one of several 'yelly' days where I finally have enough sense to just put myself in time out instead of my daughter. After my time out I sat at the dining room table between my girls as they ate lunch. I was overwhelmed and frustrated with my week and with myself.

This is what the house looked like:

Annnd it looked like this:

IF you got past the front door, this is your welcoming entrance:

I'm not super clean, but I am generally neat. I'm not doing baseboards or tubs, people. Unless someone has a code brown during a bath. Especially if I am in there with them. Not that THAT ever happened. More. Than. Once. Otherwise my precious Hero of a Husband does those. I'm fine with toilets, just hate doing the tub and shower. Who can explain it? So when it all slides for a few days and gets messy like this in every room, I get a little bonkers. And that was just the first floor level too.

And of course the kids were acting like THIS.

I had a beautiful pad of paper and one of my favorite pens in front of me. I was going to write out what kind of Mama I wanted to be, distill it and find a way to check in daily to see how I was doing.

I knew I wanted to educate my girls. I want to do crafts with them. I want to make them helpless with laughter every day. I want a tidy house with simple contents so keeping it tidy isn't a big chore. I want to enjoy providing good food for my family...etc. etc.

I looked at my eldest who is almost three and realized what I should do really is ask her.

I said "Portia, Darlin', what kind of Mama do you want me to be?" She looked at me with a puzzled pout. I tried again,"What kind of Mommy do YOU want?" She looks very seriously at me and says "I want a Purple Mommy!"

I laughed very big and very loud, probably scaring the baby. Here I was getting all philosophically self-centered and twisted up angst-ing over Motherhood when all my daughter wants is a Purple Mommy. Not a Perfect Mommy, but PURPLE. Portia smiled at me and I realized that although she didn't understand what I meant, she did know better what I should be. A Purple Mommy. Unobtainable. Funny. Creative and Happy. Memorable and Colorful and Unique.

Yes. YES! I will be a Purple Mommy. I even think I will make a painted sign accordingly. A sign to enjoy daily and to remind myself that no one gets "Mother of The Year", but every woman's "Purple Mommy" is laughing and ready anytime.

This post originally appeared on Heather's blog, Live Your Love Out Loud. You can contact Heather by visiting her there.

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2013-04-25T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Lori

I am a stay-at-home mom. Still fairly new to the scene, my venture of being home with my children began after we welcomed my daughter, who is just shy of one, into the world. These days are so special to me, and I love being able to be home with them.

Although with that being said, I must admit that some of these days are a little tough. With two kids two and under, it's always busy. We're always looking for things to go do and see and ways to avoid being stuck in a rut here in our home.

The cast:
Me: A former Health Educator, turned freelance writing/editor/stay-at-home-mom/a lot of other things.

John: My husband who works for an insurance company. He has a home-based office, but does a lot of day traveling around Central Indiana.

Max: Our 2 1/2-year-old son.

Halle: My almost 1-year-old daughter.

I tried to make sure I could keep the descriptions to a minimum, but easier said than done. Here is a pretty typical day at our home:

Max is the one with the navy and orange jacket on, loving the goat!

6:30 Alarm goes off…hit the snooze button like I do every morning.

7:00 Stumble out of bed. Head to the rest room to brush my teeth, get dressed and put on a little makeup.

7:05 Wash my hair.

7:10 I head downstairs to start a pot of half-caffeine coffee.

7:15 I run back upstairs to get my crying daughter out of her crib.

7:17 Change her into a fresh diaper and nurse her.

7:25 Finish nursing right as my husband brings my son downstairs for the day.

7:26 Heat up pancakes and grab the syrup and some other food from the pantry.

7:30 Sit both kids at the table and serve them their breakfast of pancakes, Cheerios and dried blueberries.

7:31 Get both kids fresh drinks.

7:32 Retrieve said drinks from the floor.

7:33 Pour myself some COFFEE!

7:35 Start to make a bowl of cereal but both kids are yelling for more food. So I cut up more pancakes and pick up cups off of the floor, along with some food that made its way to the floor.

7:40 Get my daughter out of her seat and rinse her hands off. Dress her for the day.

7:45. Get my son out of his chair and cleaned up and dressed for the day.

7:47 Turn on Umi Zoomi, an educational children's TV show my son loves.

7:50 I shovel my cereal into my mouth standing at our island while browsing the Internet.

7:52 Take the remote from my daughter who is changing the channel on the television, much to her brother’s protest.

7:55 Inhale the rest of my cereal.

7:56 Quickly wash and load the dishes from breakfast.

8:00 I realize my kids are no longer in the living room. Find them in the office opening and closing the blinds. Usher them back into the living room.

8:10 Finish cleaning up the kitchen counters and loading the dishes.

8:15 Sit on the couch for a few minutes and read to my daughter while it appears Max is watching TV.

8:16 Max has some issues with hitting. I place him in his crib and resume reading to Halle.

8:18 Get Max from his crib and reiterate that we don’t hit.

8:25 Make our way to the basement to play. The kids are not feeling the living room today. We shoot some hoops and read more books. The kids are having fun.

8:50 I decide we need to get out of the house today.

9:15 The kids are ready to be back in the living room. We sing ‘Clean Up, Clean Up” and (kind of) tidy up the basement.

9:17 I tell the kids we are going bye-bye. Max excitedly grabs his shoes. I put four shoes on four little feet. I hand Max his jacket and he attempts to put it on himself. I fill the diaper bag with snacks. I fill my own water. I double-check the diaper bag for diapers and wipes.

9:19 I strap Halle into her car seat. I take her and Max to the garage and get them both in the car.

9:25 I go back inside to get the diaper bag, my purse and retrieve drinks for the kids.

9:28 Looks like we’re ready to go play!

9:45 We arrive at Conner Prairie. Remember it doesn’t open until 10 a.m. Talk with the kids in the car. Halle cries. Get her out and move her to the front seat with me and wish it was a warmer day so we could just sit outside.

10:00 Get in line to show our membership card with the two kids in the double stroller.

10:05 PLAY. Chase the kids from one play area to another. We shoot baskets, read books, play with trains, eat play food, and pick fake apples from an apple tree. Break up a few arguments between Max and other children. I help Max milk the pretend cow. I sent a couple text messages.

11:00 Load the kids into the stroller and walk to the outdoor animal petting barn.

11:05 We arrive at the petting barn and realize Max has very little interest, just like previous visits. He wants to run up and down the entrance ramp to the barn. Problem is other people want to come in and he’s in the way.

11:15 After encouraging Max to play inside the barn and pet the baby animals with only a few moments of luck (he does hug a goat), I load Halle up and chase him around the
outdoor area of Conner Prairie.

11:23 I wrestle Max into the stroller since he’s running away. Shush a crying Halle. Make our way to the car.

11:30 Max is loaded in the car. A very sad and sleepy Halle wants to nurse. I feed her in the front seat.

11:36 I strap Halle into her car seat.

11:40 We leave Conner Prairie.

11:41 Call my work-from-home husband to see if he is indeed at home, or out in the field. He’s home. We have THE conversation. What’s for lunch? We decide that he will throw a pizza in the oven.

11:56. Arrive home. Walk Max inside. Make another trip out to get Halle out of the car. She is sleeping in her car seat.

11:59 Make a third trip to the car to retrieve the diaper bag, my water and a coffee cup.

12:04 My husband comes downstairs and pulls the pizza out of the oven. I wake Halle and change her diaper. She isn’t happy with her short nap.

12:07 Sit both kids at the table. Cut up pizza, slice a banana and grab a container of yogurt for the kids.

12:14 Sit down to eat my piece of pizza.

12:14 Realize Max had thrown his water cup. Run out to the car to get it. It’s empty. Fill his cup with fresh water.

12:16. Sit down to take a second bite of pizza. Halle starts crying. Get up to make her some formula.

12:18 Give Halle her formula. Take my third bite of pizza.

12:20. As I finish my first bite, both kids are already throwing food on the floor. Tell them to please not throw their food and to keep eating. Both kids ignore our pleas.

12:21 My husband and I tag team picking up said food from floor, cleaning the sauce with a wipe. I take Halle’s tray off and carry it to the sink. He takes Max’s tray to the sink. We both grab a kid and wash their hands.

12:26 Sit down to start another piece of pizza as the kids decide they are ready to play.

12:32 My husband goes up to work. I clean up the kitchen, washing and loading dishes.

12:33 Halle makes her way to me, crying at my pant leg to be picked up. The rest of the cleaning can wait.

12:34. I sit in the living room with the kids. We play with toy after toy.

12:55. Diaper changing time! Two kids, two new diapers.

12:59 We march up to the kids' cribs. Both kids go down easily.

1:01 I finally have a moment to use the restroom.

1:03 I start a load of laundry.

1:05 I sit down at the computer to work. There is a lot that needs done but I have some deadlines. (Working from home is convenient and a huge blessing, but sometimes tricky when you know your house is a total pit). I research and write about Twitter Vine. I respond to several emails related to work.

2:17 I remember the sheets in the washer and run to throw those into the dryer.

2:20 I pop on Facebook for a few minutes. I email off two articles to two different people I write for. I proofread some pieces for another person.

2:58 I hear Halle yelling. I go up and get her from her crib. The dryer is buzzing.

3:00 I sit Halle on the floor of the laundry room. She cries. I check the stuff in the dryer. It’s not dry. I clean the lint trap and start the dryer again.

3:02 I console a crying Halle. We sit on the couch. I nurse her and read some stuff on Facebook.

3:08 Halle is done nursing. I get her a bowl of Cheerios to eat. I cut up a few grapes for snack.

3:13 I carry Halle upstairs. Max is still asleep but I wake him. He’s been taking long naps, then staying up late at night in turn. He’s not happy. The dryer is buzzing again. I need to use the restroom.

3:15 I pick up a crying Max. I contemplate letting him sleep for longer. But he’s already been down for two hours. I distract him with some puzzles we have in his room. He cheers up a bit.

3:20. I bribe the kids down the stairs with promises of grapes (sounds funny- someday I will wish grapes can be used as bribery!). I try to keep them off the second floor since my husband is working up there.

3:22 I get both kids seated with grapes on their trays. I start to spray some cleaning on the cabinets.

3:23 The loud buzz of the dryer reminds me to check on my laundry.

3:24 I pull sheets out of the dryer and throw them in a pile on the couch.

3:26 I return to the kitchen. The kids are both whining for more grapes. I dump more grapes on their trays and do a shoddy job of cleaning the kitchen counters.

3:30 Grapes are making their way to the floor. I decide this means they’re done. I take off each child’s tray and wash their hands.

3:33 Flip on the TV for Max. He wants to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I am happy with his selection.

3:35 I quickly clean off the trays.

3:38 Max is bored with the show and Halle keeps trying to get his attention. He’s annoyed.

3:42 The crying and fighting is making me tired. I declare we’re going on a walk. We grab shoes, jackets and crackers and drinks. I take a few minutes to get kids' coats on. I realize I didn’t change diapers after naptime.

3:44 I grab new diapers and change the kids by the door. They’re not thrilled. Trash the diapers and wash my hands.

3:47 We go into the garage and get in the wagon. I grab the garage door opener from my car. I park the kids in the wagon and make sure it won’t move. I need my cell phone.

4:00 We arrive at the park. I don’t know anyone there today. But there are a few moms with young children. The toddler swings are full. Darn it!

4:01 I hold Halle and Max runs around. We chase him. Halle wants down. But I don’t want to put her down. We have a power struggle.

4:04 Max runs towards the basketball hoops where some bigger kids are playing. They stop in their tracks. He thinks he’s twelve. They smile and laugh but I can tell are eager to resume their game of two on two.

4:06 I finally have to carry him away kicking and screaming and he refuses to hold my hand. Bribing him with crackers didn’t work.

4:09 The toddler swings are open! Hooray! I sit Max on the ground and put Halle in one of the swings. Max bolts.

4:10 I catch Max and tell him that he can swing! He kicks and screams, “Want play basketball!” I load him in the wagon, hand him water and crackers. He calms down.

4:13 I get Halle out of the swing. She throws a baby tantrum.

4:14 I load her in the wagon. Hand her a cracker. Sigh. I am sweating despite the dreary, cool day.

4:17 We leave the park. I decide we’re not going home. I am going to take a long walk. The kids are happy and we could all use the fresh air. Plus, I need some exercise.

4:22 I stop to hand the kids more crackers. We point at a pond and talk about the ducks that say quack.

4:24 I continue walking. I point out things along the way. “There’s a car.” “Look at that BIG tree!”

4:48 We arrive at home. I hope it’s a day that daddy can close up shop right at 5 pm.

4:50 I unhook Max and tell him to go inside. I unbuckle Halle and see Max running down the driveway. I catch him! “We’re going inside, buddy!” Shrieks of protest. I carry both kids inside. I figure I will go out for the snacks and drinks later.

4:53 The TV is back on, this time to Dora. I sit Max up and help him get a game going on the iPad and he is happy again. He plays Monkey Lunchbox. Halle tries to play, too. Max isn’t too happy.

4:55 I sit down with Halle. We hug babies, I pour us pretend cups of tea and she uses me as a jungle gym. I give her lots of hugs and kisses. Max decides to join in the hugs and kisses.

5:01 John walks down the stairs and has the illusion I am Supermom. He asks how my day was. I laugh and say it’s been great. I tell him about our day.

5:10 John plays with the kids. I start dinner. We’re having tacos. I haven't been doing much cooking lately, so I am sure everyone will be happy. Tacos are easy and good and everyone will eat them! I put water on to boil. I get the chicken ready. I pull out the taco seasoning.

5:15 The water is boiling, in goes the chicken.

5:17 The kids are in the kitchen. John grabs them raisins. Halle is crying on my leg. I yell at John to either cook or please get Halle so I can!

5:18 John takes the kids to the basement.

5:30 The meat is done, chicken is seasoned. I pull out shells, cheese, Rotel tomatoes and some pre-made guacamole (for me).

5:31 John brings the kids upstairs. We put them in their seats. I serve them chicken without the seasoning and we rip up tortillas and give them shredded cheese. John runs downstairs for Max’s water. I pour Halle a cup of almond milk.

5:35 I sit down with a taco. Halle throws her cup. I give it back to her. She does it two more times. I set it on the table. Max pushes all his food off his plate. John and I yell not to do that. He starts crying and throws his water.

5:37 I take Max’s tray off and clean him up while John picks up food from the floor. Halle starts throwing hers, too. I swear the kids don’t eat.

5:42 I sit down to eat.

5:50 John plays with the kids while I clean up.

6:10 Clean up complete. I head to the basement where we play until 7 pm.

7:00 Time for Wheel of Fortune! We watch it as a family every night. Although the kids do a lot of playing and wresting and generally don’t pay attention to the show. Max does like to check out the letters on the TV screen though.

7:30. We skip bath time. They had one last night. Two diaper changes and two changes into PJ’s. I throw the dirty diapers out and put the clothes in the laundry room.

7:33 We play. We snuggle. We read. We hug and kiss. Max is slap happy. Halle is crying.

7:56 We take the kids up to bed. Halle is practically asleep as I carry her up the stairs.
Max protests a little, but he’s a good boy when it comes to going to bed. We give the kids hugs and kisses.

8:02 I make my way into the bathroom to get ready for bed, take a shower and put on comfortable clothes.

8:30 I sit down to work. I write a blog post.

9:42 I head down to the basement to relax with my husband. I pull out the iPad and browse Facebook, eBay and check my email. I respond to some text messages.

10:14 We watch a DVR’d show.

11:05 My husband wakes me. I had passed out during the middle of Modern Family! We head up to bed. I fall asleep already thinking of the cup of coffee with Carmel Macchiato creamer I will have the following morning.

Thanks for reading!

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Not "Just" a Mom: 10 Other Things that Define Me

2013-04-25T06:26:00.000-04:00

My youngest daughter just turned three over the weekend. One of her requests was a pink polka dot cake. She has a serious obsession with the color pink, and has recently decided polka dots are also cool! In my super mom fashion I set out to find a way to give her the coolest pink and polka dot cake!

While working on her cake, I got an email to submit my bio for this blog. It got me thinking. What am I supposed to say about me? How would I describe myself without sounding overly obnoxious? It also made me recall my struggles in finding my value as a stay-at-home mom in my early years of parenthood. I used to feel like I wasn't valuable because all I did was sit at home all day eating bon bons and watching soap operas all day! Not really, but you get the sarcasm right?

I recalled a time when I made a diaper cake (a cake-like tower made with rolled up diapers and decorated with toys) for a friend who was expecting a baby. Another friend saw it and looked at me incredulously, and expressed that she just couldn't believe I knew how to be so creative. Sadly this friend is also a mother and Christian and knows the importance of the role of a stay-at-home moms. The comment cut deeply because this person had never really been supportive nor valued my place as a stay-at-home mom. It seemed to be more of a shocked comment rather than a compliment.

So there I stood feeling rather dejected instead of complimented. I had yet again been made to feel devalued as a stay-at-home mom. Obviously the only thing us moms know how to to is cook, clean, change dirty diapers, and wipe noses right? Wrong! I have since challenged myself to come up with ten things that I know about myself that have nothing to do with motherhood.

1. I am a child of God. I had a mom that made sure I went to church growing up. She struggled in her own role as a mom, never having other supportive Christian women around to challenge her. But she made sure I learned who I was in Christ.

2. I'm a runner. I don't do it extremely well. But it helps me to stay relaxed and also the health benefits outweigh those of a non runner.

3. I am creative. I have noticed that once I get focused on a specific task that all kinds of ideas come out of me. I usually end up with more material for a project than I will ever use. This actually happens in my classes I teach at home and co-op.

4. I'm a teacher. While I don't have anything more than a packet of test scores from my last
job, I do have lots of experience. I've recently been teaching Junior Achievement at my old school in my old classroom. It's so tempting to go back to work full time because I'm just so comfortable in a classroom.

5. I'm a writer. I loved writing short stories and poetry when I was a teenager. It helped with all that teen angst we tend to go thru. I quit writing when I had kids because I just didn't feel like I had time. Now that I've returned to it, I'm finding that my words and creativity are flowing again.

6. I'm funny! Okay so growing up I was told I had a dry sense of humor. But over the years I've realized that my whole family is a bunch of jokesters. Myself included. Today my sons therapist said, "you have a great sense of humor!" Good thing she didn't know me when I was a kid?

7. I love to sing. I'm not sure of I do it well or not. I'm not really sure I want to know. But I do enjoy praising our God who created us with music.

8. I'm an awesome cook! I love to make up my own recipes and learn more about food. We've gained some weight over the years because I feed my family well!

9. I'm a great friend. Growing up I didn't have many friends. I'm sometimes shocked at all the friends I've made in my adult life and on Facebook. Who knew the girl who barely had any friends in school would have over 300 friends on Facebook? And honestly I don't think I'd delete many of them.

10. I'm a wife. And also a mom. I know I said I wasn't going to write about it. But I've finally come to the point in my life where I really understand that my highest calling in life is to be a wife and mom. I wouldn't have such great stuff to write about if I wasn't a mom. I wouldn't have my kids without my hubby. I wouldn't have all those obnoxious pictures to post on Facebook for the whole world to see. I wouldn't have as much reason to run. Parenting is hard work! and we all need a positive way to de-stress. I wouldn't have met so many wonderful friends. Many of whom were my kids' teachers when they were in traditional school. I wouldn't have as much cooking to do. I wouldn't have so much laughter in my life.

And I probably wouldn't be baking a pink polka dot birthday cake at eleven at night!

Ginny blogs at It's a Wonderful Mess, where she writes about life as a stay-at-home mom, home schooling, and pregnancy loss.

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5 Lessons in 5 Years

2013-04-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

By Katie

Dear Emilia,

Five years ago this morning I was shocked to learn that I was in labor with you. I knew you were coming, just not three weeks early. As the contractions worsened in the wee hours of the morning, I was told that by the end of that day, I was going to be a mom for the first time.

When labor was done, and the friends and family had all gone home for the night, I was left alone with you in a hospital room. I hadn't the first clue how to talk to you, or comfort you. I hadn't a clue in hell how to swaddle you. In the months leading up to your birth I had often reassured myself with the following mantra: just feed her, change her and keep her safe. Everything else will fall into place.

Little did I know on that first night how much my life was truly about to change. The person I am today was born when you entered the world at 12:35 p.m. on April 24, 2008. There is no way to chronicle every lesson I've learned along the way, but some engulf all the others.

1. People are unpredictably good. I had so many preconceived notions about how life should look before you were born. I thought I knew what my parents would say when they learned I was single and pregnant. I was wrong. I thought I knew how your paternal grandmother would act when I called her and told her that soon you would walk this earth. I was wrong again. I prepared to be a lonely, well-meaning single mother with my hands full and no one to help me. Friends, co-workers and strangers all proved me wrong time and again. I never felt more supported and loved than in the days leading up to and following your birth. I didn't have just one parenting partner -- I had many. I learned that though judgment exists, the world is full of kind people who just want to do the right thing.

2. Life is fleeting. Just shy of your second birthday, you lost your grandfather. He was not related to you by blood but established himself as an integral part of your young life. As he struggled with terminal cancer and the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation, he watched you with pride as you took your first steps, said your first words and explored your new world. He always made time to hold you. To hug you. To tell you he loved you. As I moved through life at seemingly warp speed, juggling my financial and parental responsibilities to you, he stood as a reminder of what life lived as a parent -- of any kind -- should look like. I learned to slow down. I learned to snuggle you for no reason at all. I learned not to wish away the challenging moments of your development because at any second, our time together could end. I learned that life is precious and you being in mine was the greatest gift I'd ever received.

3. Adventures lurk around every corner. We spent your entire third year adjusting to life in the big city of Chicago. We lived in a just a one-bedroom apartment but were rich in culture as we walked to parks, museums, libraries and down the parade route from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Sometimes we had no idea where we wanted to end up but enjoyed the journey just the same. We made new friends in the dozens, ate giant pizza slices and snuggled together in my big bed on the very cold Chicago nights. In a very quiet moment one night you put your head close to me and seemed to inhale my hair. I laughed and asked you what I smelled like and you said simply and contently, "My mom." I knew in that moment that I could be in any city in the world and I'd be complete if you were there too.

4. Families are built, not born. We traded in our Windy City days to return to our roots as a team: Florida. When I gained a husband, you gained two siblings overnight. You went from being my one and only to an equally important piece of a larger family puzzle. I worried that you might resent the new arrangement. I wondered how you might respond to a father figure in your life after over three years without one. More than once I asked myself if the steps I was taking were good for you -- if they were good for us as a duo. What I learned through your example was that there was plenty of room in our lives for more members of our family. Not only was there room, but you flourished in a larger family setting. You took every new complication in stride and showed me that family bonds are earned, not given.

5. There is always room for more love. Just when I thought there was not one more ounce of energy left for love in my life, your baby sister came along. This past year has been full of sleepless nights and difficult moments (at times) for me. More than once I've promised to tuck you in, only to get called away by a crying baby with more immediate needs. While I've had to slice and dice my attention even thinner in tangible ways, my heart has grown fuller. My love for your sister, and step siblings, has not taken away from my love for you; in contrast, it has helped me reach new depths of caring for each of you as individuals.

I watch my youngest double fist corn casserole and shove it in her mouth, and I remember the little girl who used to do the same thing with mashed potatoes. I watch your little sister jumping in her horsey seat, laughing loudly, and my mind goes back to my other little girl in a different version of the same toy, laughing without abandon as she bounced. I often wonder what happened to that little baby girl and how the time has escaped so quickly.

More often though I wonder what happened to the young woman who had never really considered being a mom before she realized that she was actually going to become one. If I could go back to the day that terrified woman looked down at a positive pregnancy test and tell her one thing, it would be this: Your baby is going to be wonderful, and so are you.

If she let me stick around for another piece of advice, I'd add in the following: Life as you know it is going to change, but in more fantastic ways than you can imagine. You may not notice the changes in your everyday routine because they will be gradual. It will only be when you look back in one year, in five years, in twenty years, and beyond, that you realize the true meaning of a life transformed because there was a child in it.

Happy fifth birthday, Emilia Grace. Thank you for being my sunshine this past half-decade and for letting me shine too as your mom.

Katie Parsons is a freelance writer who lives with her four children, husband and the sound of the ocean nearby. She is writing a memoir about the time when she was single and pregnant. She owns a content creation company and you can contact her by emailing her at katie@mumblingmommy.com.

Katie discussed this post as a guest on HuffPost Live with Nancy Redd during a segment about Ooops Babies.

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A Day in the Life of a Mom with Two Ballerina Princesses

2013-04-22T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Amy

What is a day in my life like, you ask? Well, honestly, my days get switched up so much that we really don’t have a “set” schedule. My husband, Russ, works 12-hour cycle shift work, meaning he only works 14 days a month. He switches between days and nights, so sometimes I am home alone with the girls for four nights in a row. Anyway, here is what usually happens on a typical Tuesday:

8 a.m.: Wake up to my rooster alarm on my phone. Push snooze.

8:10 a.m.: Get out of bed, go into the kitchen and get the girls' milk ready. Wake the girls up and hand them said milk.

8:15-8:40 a.m.: Try to get both girls ready for school. This is always a FABULOUS time in the morning where Alex (2) is screaming because she doesn’t want to take her nightgown off and Olivia (4) is fighting with me because she doesn’t want to go pee before she gets dressed for school. I usually just throw a pair of jeans on, try to brush my hair and teeth, and I’m ready to go.

8:50 a.m.: Arrive at preschool. Drop Olivia off.

9:00-11:15 a.m: This is time spent with Alex alone. We will run errands, go home and have breakfast, or she might have speech therapy at this time (but that’s usually on Friday mornings).

11:30 a.m.-noon: Pick Olivia up from school. Get home, get a snack ready for both girls, change Alex’s diaper, put them into separate bedrooms for a nap.

Noon-1 p.m.: NAP TIME! Normally it’s 2 hours, but you’ll see why it’s not on Tuesdays in a moment. I usually clean up around the house and eat lunch during nap time.

1 p.m.: Wake Olivia and Alex up from their naps. OMG, this is a terrible time of the day. Both my kids are big bears if you wake them up while they’re sleeping. But, I get lunch ready, get Olivia changed into her ballet stuff, and head out the door.

1:30-2 p.m.: Olivia has ballet. Alex and I sit in the waiting room and play.

2-3:30ish p.m.: After ballet if it’s nice we’ll head to the park to run around and play for awhile. If it’s not (like the last five months of winter) we’ll head to the library with Olivia’s BBF (and her momma).

4-5:30 p.m.: We get home. Olivia changes out of her ballet clothes and the girls play with their kitchen or dress up clothes or do something other than bother me so I can cook dinner.

5:30-6 p.m.: Dinner time, which usually consists of all four of us, but sometimes it’s just the girls and I if Russ is working. It’s also usually just Russ and I eating and the girls talk back and forth and eat a few bites. I don’t even know why I bother making dinner most days. LOL.

6:30 p.m.: Tubby time.

7-8 p.m.: Get the girls out of the tub, get dressed for bed, comb and fix their hair (which is a HUGE task for me because Russ is terrible at it and my kids hate it). We’ll usually watch a short movie and have a snack. But other times we’ll read books or play with princesses.

8:10 p.m.: Time to brush teeth. Olivia goes pee, Alex gets a diaper change, and then we’ll lay with them in bed for a little bit.

8:30 p.m.: BEDTIME! (Sometimes the best part of the day.)

8:30 p.m. and on: I usually take this time to catch up on homework, blog, Facebook, etc. Sometimes we’ll watch a movie if we’re both not too tired. It’s nice to enjoy the peace and quiet after a long day.

Tuesdays are very hectic for us. I’ve come to the conclusion I should never schedule an activity after Olivia has preschool. She’s only 4 and still needs a nap after school. So, it’s a huge ordeal with her to make it to ballet. Next year, she’ll be going on a day when she doesn't have school. For my sanity.

I go to school on Mondays and Wednesdays at the moment. My classes are done on May 10th! I go pretty much from morning until dinner time both days. My week kind of looks like this:

Monday: school for me

Tuesday: Olivia's school/ballet

Wednesday: school for me

Thursday: Olivia's school

Friday: Alex’s speech therapy

WEEKEND!

I also worked for three months while Russ was laid off. Thankfully, I’m only working sporadically to help cover shifts for people now. I’m taking an online class for the summer semester to help get one class out of the way. I finally start my radiology program classes this fall, but with that my schedule is only going to get crazier due to clinical hours. I may be bald by the time I’m finished in 2015.

Amy is a stay-at-home mom who works part time. She enjoys enjoys summertime, running, cooking, and giving her daughters manicures. You can contact her by e-mailing her by e-mailing mumblingmommy@mumblingmommy.com.

While you're here, check out the rest of our day-in-the-life posts:

A day in the life of a work-at-home mom

A day in the life with toddler twins

A day in the life of a home schooling mom

A day in the life of a working mom

A day in the life with twin newborns plus one

A day in the life of a work-at-home mom with three preschoolers

A day in the life of a stay-at-home mom

Memoir Monday: The Big Top

2013-04-21T20:30:00.000-04:00

** Memoir Monday is a weekly series that features pieces of Katie's memoir-in-progress that covers her first pregnancy. Click here to see past entries. **

By Katie

When I first moved to Orlando in early 2007, I didn't have a job. In fact, I quit an okay-paying one to move to an unknown and expensive place without any real plan for how I was going to pay my bills. My long-time boyfriend sort of had a job and his family gave us both some money to bridge the gap of time when money would be an issue. I wasn't worried about finding a way to live -- I had landed every job I'd ever interviewed for and was okay with waiting tables or babysitting if it meant I got to move away and finally live with the man I just knew I was going to be with for the rest of my life.

He didn't seem as optimistic as me. He was nervous about paying the bills. He didn't like that his
parents had co-signed our lease and their names were on the line if we failed. While he was on the extreme end of rationalism, I had my head in the clouds. I made good on my word to find a job "as soon as we get there" by walking over to a nearby steakhouse the morning we woke up on our hard apartment floor after arriving in town at 2 a.m.

I was hired on the spot and started my training a few days later. I perused the increasingly slim classified ads for jobs that sounded even remotely up my alley. I took a nanny job for about 10 hours per week with a nice enough family. The dad sort of creeped me out, but he was never there when I was around.

Even though I had never set out to be a journalist, I was already missing my job at a small town newspaper. Yes, I missed my colleagues, and my friendly sources, and my paycheck. But more than anything else, I missed the daily writing. With only four reporters on staff, I had grown accustomed to writing one or two stories on a daily basis -- more if it was before a day off and my boss needed extra copy to fill the space when I wasn't at my desk. My editor had started calling me the "scribe" and I liked it. I was practicing my craft every day.

As a town newcomer, I tried to find new stories to tell the readers. I made a lot of unlikely friends in the process, and a few enemies too. The police chief hated me for at least a few days when I ran a story that made it look like he would not talk to me about a suspicious death (he wouldn't) and the city attorney had one of my stories stamped out by the publisher (the mayor's golfing buddy) because it painted an ex-city official in a bad light. Perhaps I was making more waves than necessary in my role as reporter but I enjoyed challenging paid public servants to do their jobs a little bit better because I was watching. I missed the thrill too, I guess you could say.

I knew it was a long shot, but I looked up the name of head of newsroom personnel for the large newspaper in Orlando. I sent him an email explaining who I was, where I had worked and how I'd be happy to answer phones if that was the job he had open. I didn't expect to hear back but I figured I really didn't have anything to lose. Surprisingly, he wrote me back the same day and asked me to come in and bring my newspaper clips. We set an appointment for three days later. I dug out some of my folded over newspaper clips and compared them to the shiny, fancy version of the Orlando paper. I was proud of the work I'd done in Shelbyville but I hoped he wouldn't laugh me right out of his office.

I printed out an Internet map to my location on the day of the meeting. It was 25 miles away. I figured I should probably leave about an hour ahead of time to be safe. We were living on the far end of Mickey-Mouse tourist town and what I had not yet learned was that there was never a fast, or even remotely reasonable route, anywhere. Period. Twenty minutes before my meeting, I was still 15 miles from my destination. I called him on my cell phone and said that I was running late. I hated having to do that. He asked if another day was better. The thought of making the same drive again on another day was too much to take so I said I'd be happy to wait if he had other plans by the time I got there. He said "ok" in a very monotone voice. Great, I thought, he already hates me. I reminded myself again that I had absolutely nothing to lose and decided to just keep inching forward. If it turned out he really did already hate me, well, then I'd know.

In another mile, traffic became less congested and I was soon going the speed limit. I found my exit and pulled into the newspaper's visitor lot just two minutes after my appointment time. I probably could have avoided the earlier call completely. I checked in with security and the short, brisk woman called him to let him know I was there. I waited for her to motion me toward the escalator that I knew must lead to the newsroom but instead she pointed to a nearby table.

"He'll be right down," she said. I sat down with my clips and tried to decide in what order they should go. Should I lead with something titillating like a drunk falling into the river and washing up on the Fourth of July? Or maybe the apartment fire caused by a neglectful landlord? The little girl with chronic brain tumors raising money for research was my favorite series by far. But did people in Orlando care about kids, or cancer research, or anything I had to say at all? For about the hundredth time in my life I wished I had been the one to get the scoop on the local swingers club and write THAT story instead of my colleague, Bettina. Sex clubs were a universally good read. Why didn't I land that exclusive?

I was still shuffling clips when the low, monotone voice from the earlier phone call said my name. There was absolutely no inflection. I did not know if he was confirming or questioning my identity. I stood up quickly, banging my knee on the bottom of the table. I cussed. I cringed. He stared at me stone-faced. We shook hands and sat back down. He asked me to tell him a little bit about myself and I rambled on for awhile as he glanced emotionless through my newspaper clips. He paused slightly on the clip of the sick little girl surrounded by soda can tabs and interrupted me.

"She looks like my niece," he said with such little connection that I wondered if the comment was positive or negative. I kept talking. I knew I sounded like an idiot. I knew I was saying nothing at all of interest. My nerves were getting the best of me and my words were like a runaway train. When he was done glancing over the clips, he held his hand up. I trailed off in the middle of a sentence about the weather in Indiana...

"It appears that you do not have enough experience to be considered for any full-time reporters' positions here," he said. I nodded, deflated. He was right. What was I thinking?

"But, we do need some freelance help in our Osceola bureau. Would you be interested in that?"

I perked back up. Freelance writing was still writing. And money. Both of which I desperately wanted. I tried to contain my excitement.

"Yes, I suppose that would work," I responded, as coolly as possible. He stood up abruptly and extended his hand again.

"Great. The bureau chief will be in touch," he said as I shook his hand enthusiastically. He turned quickly and nodded at security before walking quickly back to the escalator.

I stood in the lobby, holding my clips and watching him ascend the escalator to the big newsroom in the sky.

"Thank you..." I whispered.

Read the rest of the Memoir Monday series.

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Some Wisdom For My Little Girl On Her 4th Birthday
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Mamas: Do You Know Where Your Breasts Are?

2013-04-21T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Heather Novak

Disclosure for my male readers: You can skip this post, just go buy your wife a Victoria's Secret gift certificate or if she is super curvy/fluffy/huggable or whatever get a Caciquegift certificate, OK? And no, it is not for you, it really is for her!

Let me just start with a highlight of my birthday being my very own cleavage. Yesterday I was sitting on the couch reading my Bible and sneaking glances at my tatas. (LOOK! Those words can go in the same sentence! I think I hear Jesus chuckling.) (At me, again.)

Sass is courtesy of Cacique

I now remember what the fuss is all about with Victoria's Secret.

Since having my first baby and going into a "Vicky C's" three years ago to get new bras and leaving crying after witnessing the horrific deflated truth about my 'milky bar', I haven't set foot in that store. (Plus my fanny does not appreciate their paltry XL selection.) I bought my scanties at Target (where I buy everything else). I thought I was doing fine. I was thrifty. I still had pretties. I thought it was all OK.

It wasn't.

Darling Liz, I am endlessly grateful that you dragged me lingerie shopping. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

And you mamas, you ladies....if it has been awhile, and you have $50 to spoil yourself skip the mani pedi and git thee to a Victoria's Secret. NOW. Let them fit you. Let them wait on you. Let them usher you around and sell to you. If you have $100, they have a buy one get one half off and you can get two bras and 5 cotton panties for $25 or one pair of gorgeous gossamer heaven for $28. Oh Do it!!!! I have a few friends who got a look at my uplifted self and are heading to the land of consumer femininity ASAP.
And if you are a curvier CURVIER girl...try Cacique, it is Lane Bryant's answer to Victoria's Secret and it feels like a Victoria's Secret (not a LB). They have THE BEST silky flattering panties for girls with more...uhhhh fanny personality? Trust me. WOW!

Any of you mamas who have nursed a kid or two can appreciate the joyous delight in seeing The Girls up above your elbows and how that can make you feel like you have lost twenty pounds. Even if you haven't. At all. Because it was your birthday ~~weekend~~ month. I felt like a million bucks all weekend and for a dragged out hung on tired mama THAT is worth the money.

P.S. -- I wrote a talk about getting your Mama Mojo back and this is definitely in there. Please let me know your thoughts/troubles/tips either in the comments or via email to help me help other women feel sparkly and fabulous.

This post originally appeared on Heather's blog, Live Your Love Out Loud. You can contact Heather by visiting her there.

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Mother's Day Photography Tip: Don't Forget Yourself

2013-04-18T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Cara

This month, I am putting the regular Photography Tip on the back burner, and addressing Mother's Day, from a "Memory Keepers" position.

As mothers we tend to document everything with our children, snapping photographs of Susie's first steps, Timmy's lost tooth, and just plain ordinary days at the park and zoo, relishing our children because we want to remember & capture these moments. More times than not, we are behind the camera, not in front of it.

Time passes too quickly, and before we know it, our kids are grown, we are old, and they no longer think Mom's cool to hang out with. Or Dad for that matter. As we know, time changes our perspectives, and it will change theirs also. They will long for the day to take a stroll down memory lane, looking at photographs with their children, telling stories of "when I was a little girl, grandma & I would....."

This Mother's Day make a promise to yourself & to your children that you will step in front of the camera with them. Set up a tripod, contact your local photographer (if you happen to be in Oxford Michigan, I'm available ;), or swap taking snap shots with your friends to capture these moments.

Cara is a professional photographer who specializes in photographing women, because every woman deserves to feel beautiful! Her studio is located in Oxford Michigan and you can visit her website at www.lifesfotos.com.

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From the Mommy Bookshelf: What We're Reading

2013-04-17T20:00:00.000-04:00

Moms have precious little time for reading, so when we select something to read, it should be worth our time. If you’re looking for a few suggestions, Mumbling Mommy can help. Here’s what we’ve read recently.

Rachael:

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. I spotted this novel on a reading list in the periodical, The Week, and decided to give it a read. Dodie Smith also penned One Hundred and One Dalmations, but you'd never guess it because the story genres are so different. Smith does a fantastic job of creating the setting, introducing readers to an impoverished, quirky family living in 1930s England in a rundown castle. The story focuses on two sisters and their blossoming love lives, and it starts beautifully with colorful, witty characters. Halfway through, the story unfortunately devolves into an angsty love triangle (or rectangle?). The book had great potential but left me feeling a little disappointed. It’s still worth a read if you’re a fan of anything British.

Abigail Adams: A Life by Woody Holton. I’ve been slowly reading through this lengthy biography for more than a year now, after receiving it as a Christmas gift from my history teacher husband. Not only was Abigail Adams the wife of the second president of the United States; she also advocated for education and more opportunities for women. She was a bright woman who took an active role with her family and managed domestic matters well, which is why my husband has fondly compared me to her. Our second daughter also shares Abigail’s name.

Listening for Madeleine: A Portrait of Madeleine L’Engle in Many Voices by Leonard S. Marcus. This biography came recommended by fellow blogger Elizabeth. It’s a collection of interviews with people who knew the late children’s author Madeleine L’Engle, most famous for her book A Wrinkle in Time. We hear from Madeleine’s relatives, colleagues in the publishing world, and friends, and they all paint a complex and very human portrait of a highly esteemed writer.

Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers. I’m a huge fan of the Disney movie Mary Poppins, and so is my 5-year-old daughter, so I decided to read the book. It’s the first of several Mary Poppins books published over a wide span of years. It’s eccentric and charming but very different from the movie, and this is one of the few instances where I believe the movie is actually better than the book.

God's Politics: What the Right Gets Wrong and What the Left Doesn't Get by Jim Wallis. I've started following Sojourners magazine and enjoy their fresh take on what it means to be an evangelical Christian in today's world. This book examines how faith is incorporated into politics and addresses some of my concerns. It's outdated, as it talks a lot about the 2004 presidential election. Wallis' latest book was released this month and is titled On God's Side: What Religion Forgets and Politics Hasn't Learned About Serving the Common Good. I just requested it from our public library and look forward to reading his updated perspective.

Heather C.:

Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together by Tammy Nelson. I blogged about this one on Mumbling Mommy a while back. It's a favorite and really helps to have a weekly date with hubby to go over and re visit exercises.

Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior and Communication in 5 Days by Dr. Kevin Leman. The title does not paint a pretty picture. I do not want a new husband, but I love Kevin Leman's work. The book discusses the differences in how men's minds works versus women's. It focuses on how WE should approach things differently to get loved in return the way we desire.

It's a Wonderful Lie: 26 Truths About Life in Your Twenties by Emily Franklin. I just started this one at the recommendation of Mommy in training over at amateurparenting.com I haven't gotten far enough in to give a good review, but since I'm right at my own "quarter life crisis" it seems like a fitting read.

Sally:

Hope's Boy by Andrew Bridge. During my training as a CASA volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate), this book was recommended. The personal memoir of Andrew Bridge's journey through the foster child system was one of the catalysts for more oversight into the system, as well as a "wake-up call" regarding these children "lost" in the system ... sometimes for years. Mr. Bridge shares some of the dark moments of his youth without malice...he simply tells his story. Be prepared to shed some tears here and there. Mr. Bridge always hoped for his mother's return. Even as a child, he realized that mom loved him, but had some issues. Andrew's salvation came via the public school system. He had been labeled with possible learning issues. He wore hand me down clothes, and often came to school hungry. He notes a specific teacher who had compassion on him. Due to a couple of "mentors" in his life, he saw his potential. The book is inspirational in regards to seeing a true story of someone come from nothing to accomplish great things. And, is an inspirational reminder to each reader that we may be able to change a life simply by validating a child.

Katie:

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. This philosophical novel takes place during the Prague Spring of 1968. Now I am no history buff, but I very much enjoyed this story that explores the meaning of life, sexual versus non-sexual love and historical events through the lives of four characters. The title makes it sound very deep and convoluted, but the story is very easy to read.

News of a Kidnapping by Gabriel García Márquez. Written by the Pulitzer-prize winning author of Love in the Time of Cholera (also an amazing read), this real-life story retold by Márquez covers several kidnappings in the early 1990s by Colombian drug cartel led by Pablo Escobar. The kidnappings are intended to send a message to politicians in support of anti-drug legislation, though the people kidnapped are not necessarily related to the topic in any way. There is some mild violence, but Márquez gently pays tribute to those events in a non-gratuitous way.

Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya. I read this young adult book as part of a study-guide assignment and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. The 1999 book is already considered a classic piece of Chicano literature and discusses spirituality, good versus evil and coming-of-age issues. If you have preteens or young teens, I highly recommend this as a book to read together.

Cara:

Forgotten Voices of the Holocaust: True Stories of Survival From Men, Women, and Children Who Were There by Lyn Smith. It is a very powerful, moving heart-wrenching story that spans the time from pre-invasion to post liberation. This is a heavy read, and you will need a box of tissues, but the impact is well worth the tears.

Heather Novak:

Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband): How to Date Your Spouse by Andrea Syrtash. Marriage to even the best of mates ebbs and flows in its wonder and challenges. I jumped at the chance (actually requested) this book to review on my blog. I have no desire to cheat on my husband, but as a formerly wanton woman in my younger days, I would like to recapture some of that and bring it along into my marriage. Being a mother is so great and so draining at the same time. This book reminded me that I am a wife too -- and a sexy one at that.

Vegan Indian Cooking by Anupy Singla. If you love eating and cooking or haven't eaten or cooked Indian food before, this is your cookbook! It was well explained from history to process to final recipes. The food is delicious in the way a restaurant cannot touch. As my husband said, "This is good. It is REALLY good. And it isn't overpowering like some Indian food we've eaten." For those of you who know my hubs isn't exactly a rah rah kind of fellow, this is HIGH praise. I recommend Baked, Spiced Tofu, Spiced Crumbles with Peas (Mock Keema) and Mushrooms in Cream Sauce.

Have you read anything good lately? Comment and let us know!

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The Milk Diaries: Stories from breastfeeding mamas

Tame the Toe Walking or Enroll in Ballet School?

2013-04-16T20:00:00.000-04:00

By Rachael

Photo via baystatept.com

My oldest daughter often doesn’t walk correctly. On any given day, you’ll spot Megan traipsing around high up on her tippy toes. Sometimes my husband and I get comments about her future as a ballerina, but this is not how I’d like for her career as a dancer to begin.

The toe walking began last spring or summer. I was the first to notice and express concern. I once worked at a preschool for special needs children and saw a lot of toe walkers. It’s common for children to walk on their toes when they first learn to walk, but they generally stop toe walking by the end of their toddler years. Toe walking is often associated with children on the autism spectrum or children with cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy, but Megan is not autistic nor does she have a muscular or neurological disorder. Sometimes toe walking is a proprioceptive or tactile issue, too. I don't know whether any science backs it up, but my grandmother claims my mom was a toe walker, leading us to wonder if it may be hereditary. After a little Google research, I suspected Megan was probably a habitual or idiopathic toe walker, meaning there is no known cause and no other health problems. It’s just a habit.

The problem with habitual toe walking is that over time it can shorten the tendons in the back of the leg, down low in the calves and even up in the hamstrings. If the muscles get too tight, it can be difficult or impossible for a child to walk properly or stand with her heels on the ground. Treatment ranges from physical therapy to more aggressive options like leg braces or serial casts – a series of casts worn for several weeks or months – that force the foot into a correct position. Some children also have surgery to cut and lengthen tight tendons.

We monitored Megan for several months. The toe walking became more frequent, and we often reminded her to walk on her heels. The toe walking didn’t bother her, but it irritated me. The way Megan walked was … different. It looked so extreme when she perched as high as she could get on her toes and bobbed around all day like that. I nagged her to get down on her heels. We had her practice walking consciously in a heel-to-toe pattern. We had her stand with her toes on a thick book while her heels touched the floor. It was a stretching exercise for toe walkers that I’d found on the Internet, recommended by a physical therapist.

By October or November of last year, we decided to seek professional help. I’m not the type of parent who takes her children to the doctor for every little sniffle or bump, though, so I was hesitant to make an appointment with the pediatrician just for toe walking when nothing else was wrong. Megan’s birthday is in January, so I waited and brought it up at her annual checkup.

Our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric orthopedist. The orthopedist took an x-ray from Megan’s hips to her toes and declared that everything looked fine. She saw no curvature of the spine and no problems with Megan’s hips, legs, or feet. She gave Megan’s feet a quick look and asked her to walk and run down the hall. She diagnosed Megan with tight heel cords and prescribed physical therapy to “loosen her up.” If physical therapy didn’t work, we were encouraged to come back in three months to talk about serial casting.

Megan had six physical therapy sessions over four weeks. She was so tight on the first day that when the therapist had her stand with her heels flat on the floor, she bent slightly at the hips to ease the pull on her leg muscles. We were given a set of exercises to do three times a day at home to stretch Megan’s calves and hamstrings. One of the most effective ones is the towel stretch. I also got stretching ideas while watching Megan’s physical therapy sessions. Who knew that kicking a soccer ball, walking on a balance beam, doing the crab walk, or walking down steps could be so helpful?

Our last physical therapy session was a few weeks ago. Our therapist used a device that looked like a hinged ruler to measure Megan’s flexibility and range of motion in her ankles and legs on the first and last days of therapy, and she showed improvement. The therapist was confident we would continue to make progress with a home therapy program and didn’t need further visits to the therapy gym (and $25 copays every time!). Both the orthopedist and physical therapist reassured me that most children eventually stop walking on their toes because it becomes uncomfortable as they grow heavier.

We are continuing our stretches at home. Some days it’s hard to squeeze three sessions in, especially on mornings when we’re on a schedule and headed off to preschool or church. Megan doesn’t like to be bothered with stretching, and it feels uncomfortable to her.

She continues to walk frequently on her toes, especially when she’s distracted by people or an activity and is not thinking about her feet. She loves keeping her toes pointed so much that she also has a tendency, when she’s standing in one place, to keep one foot flat while she bends her other leg so her toes are the only part of her foot touching the ground. I bought her new white dress shoes for Easter and the toes are already scuffed. (Grr.) We also ask Megan not to sit on her knees because it allows her to point her toes. Instead, she sits criss-cross applesauce.

We know that at least we’re helping her retain her range of motion by keeping her muscles stretched. Megan is wobbly when she’s on her toes, and we worry some about the long-term effects on her posture. We also know Megan’s gait may stand out when she starts kindergarten this fall, although in my online research I haven’t come across any stories of toe walkers being teased for being different. I’ve also noticed Megan’s 17-month-old sister experimenting with walking on her toes and worry that she may be copying her big sister and picking up the habit, too. She’s still young enough she may outgrow it, though.

I found some reassurance when I stumbled across the blog of another parent of a toe walker. This writer’s daughter, Lydia, has been a toe walker from the start and was still doing it at age 7, at the time of her last update on their toe walking adventures. Lydia had physical therapy, braces, and serial casting over the years, with varying degrees of success. The serial casting, a treatment possibility Megan’s orthopedist discussed with me early on, worked wonders for Lydia until she got back into the habit of toe walking a few months later. She finally saw an orthopedist who suggested some kids are “just toe walkers.” The orthopedist suggested that if it wasn’t bothering Lydia, they ought to just “let it be.” And so they have, more or less.

There are no quick or easy fixes for toe walking. Our physical therapist said breaking a toe walking habit is a process and not an overnight cure. We’ll continue to work with Megan, stretching her legs and reminding her to “walk on her heels.” We’ll also continue to love her. The way she walks is only part of who she is, and it shouldn’t obscure how beautiful the rest of her is.

You can contact Rachael by e-mailing her at Rachael@mumblingmommy.com.

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Catch Us on HuffPost Live Tonight!

2013-04-16T12:47:00.001-04:00

Katie will join Nancy Redd at 6:30 p.m. EST

Set your smartphone to send you a reminder that Katie will be a guest on Nancy Redd's HuffPost
Live show tonight at 6:30 p.m. EST. She will be one of a panel of guests on the show talking about body image issues -- specifically related to pregnancy.

Nancy read Katie's post on the mentality of anorexics during pregnancy and wanted to hear more. A former Miss West Virginia and Miss America finalist, Nancy Redd is considered an expert on body image issues as they relate to young women.

You can register here to participate in a web chat during the show. We hope to see a lot of our readers there!

Eating My Words: “Cloth Diapering Isn’t For Me”

2013-04-16T07:10:00.001-04:00

By Heather C.

A few weeks ago I was at my breaking point. Both baby girls were screaming from pain because of yet another diaper rash. We have literally tried every cream and ointment, including anti yeast ones and very expensive prescriptions. The rashes would go away for maybe a day and then as soon as they had a dirty diaper again, flaming red, even weeping skin would show up again. It was heartbreaking.

I’d almost committed to cloth diapering a few times now. The first time, I researched it and immediately threw out the idea because of cost and time and the “gross factor,” but by the second time I looked into it again, I had a much more open mind. It sounded intriguing but with 4-month-old newborns at home, I just couldn’t commit to it. I was still very new to being a stay-at-home mom and adding laundry piles was low priority on my list.

This is the third time. And I’m committed. It helps that my best friend recently switched to cloth, too. It also helps that I’m about 3 months in to exclusively using mama cloth myself. So with all the stars aligning, I decided to eat my words and revisit my hot topic from a year ago. This is what I have to say to all those excuses to not cloth diaper.

Is my husband on board? Well, sort of. He’s curious. He trusts me. And he knows a pretty good handful of dads that cloth diaper, so I think his anxiety about the whole thing has calmed quite a bit. If your husband is your biggest obstacle, don’t just make an executive decision. Talk to him. Teach him about the style you most like. Show him how easy it will be. Break it down for him and answer his questions. Let him talk.

What about the laundry? I still hate it BUT having something to do helps make me feel worthwhile. It may sound silly but *just* being a mom doesn’t do that for me. I hate that it doesn’t fulfill all of my needs, but taking care of my family by cooking, cleaning, making extra side money and being a good wife helps fill the gaps. So I guess I don’t hate laundry as much as I thought.

Where’d the money come from? We used our tax refund (and some of my extra side money) to make the purchase. In addition to this, I learned a lot about getting cloth diapers CHEAP. I joined a cloth diaper swap on Facebook to purchase diapers other moms didn’t want. I joined a few co-ops to get better buying power from numbers. And I got lucky that a recommended brand happened to be running a huge sale.

My youngest had an issue where she needed several medicines put on a section of skin under her diaper. Luckily, we’ve managed to resolve this issue. If you are facing something of this nature, be patient. Use disposable temporarily if you need to or use a liner in your diapers.

Lastly, convenience goes a long way. It would be silly of me to say that cloth is more convenient than disposable. We plan to still use disposable at night and on vacations. If we know we will be out for a full day, we may use disposable for that, too. We are still working out the details on that part. What I’ve learned though is that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. The cloth diaper police will not come out to harass you if you fall back on disposables for one reason or another.

So far, I am still in the very beginning of this new journey so I very well might be spitting my words back up if I absolutely hate cloth diapering, but based on what I hear from pretty much everybody that does it, it’s highly addictive and amazing. If you are interested in following more of my cloth diapering wows and woes, check out my posts here and here.

Heather C is a co-blogger for AmateurParenting.com. She claims expertise in a variety of parenting topics including tips and tricks to make it easier. AmateurParenting.com features advice, stories and reviews directed towards parents at every level because when it comes to children, none of us really know what we are doing anyway. The site has over 200 followers on Facebook and is visited by several thousand viewers a month. Heather also specializes in parenting multiples, all things girls, and learning new parenting tricks.

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