Nutty Inventions

The banana suitcase

2011-05-19T04:07:00.000-07:00

The inventor who made this invention clearly saw a grandiose problem that needs to be fixed: Bananas can sometimes become bruised if we bring it with us to new places.

No one likes bruises. To solve this problem, the inventor therefore set out to design the innovative banana suitcase. According to his instructions, what the "user" of this brilliant tool must simply do to use the banana suitcase is "open the container and place a banana inside thereof." The user must thereafter "close the container", which ultimately allows him or her "to carry the banana in a safe manner so that it remains fresh and is protected from becoming bruised." Good thing it comes with instructions.

I think I'll leave to the reader to determine the potential flaws with this invention (hint: banana shape/size).

The rain-free bike ride

2011-05-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

A lot of people make stuff that aims to protect them from the rain, but I think this has got to be one of my favorites. I personally think I'd rather take the bus...

The eye protection things!

2011-05-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

This woman probably ain't aiming high at making a fashion statement! Still, it takes something to walk around with these in front of your eyes. I'm not sure what the point of it is either, but I'm sure it's great...

The Baby Cage!

2011-05-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

When your neighbors come visiting and you show them your great new baby cage, I am simply not convinced that they will be impressed. They might just call the police!

Just Jump (No Rope!)

2011-05-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

Kids often enjoy jumping rope. It's a game they can do from they are very young, and many are actually very good at it.

The trouble is, of course, that where kids see fun, parents see danger. And jumping rope is of course a very dangerous thing to do. Kids can fall. That's where this invention comes in. The dangerous thing in jumping rope is of course the rope. By removing the rope from the game, it becomes safe.

But oh, where did this guy pt the fun?

Windy Wheels

2011-04-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

I don't think this was ever actually produced, but looking at the designs, it's clear it should've been. The concept is simple enough: We used wind 100s of years ago to sail, now the time has come to the bike.

This invention seems to be made for people who aim to go with the wind. For the rest of us, it is clear that there are many disadvantages with this invention. The most obvious one is that side wind might just cause you to smash into the ground. Another is that if you do catch a strong strong gust of wind, you might just run out of options of how to stop your bike. I suggest you ram something!

I have to say that this one looks like a lot of fun. And potentially a lot of pain.

Sweater for two!

2011-04-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this is supposed to look all nice and fun, but it fails miserably. It just looks really, really bizarre.

I do realize there's a trend here, however. Just like with the Fundies, this sweater seeks to make a couple actually become one - as if that's a whole lotta more fun.

Motorized fork for spaghetti

2011-04-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

I sometimes get the feeling that the people making all these inventions think we are morons. This invention has got to prove that this is the case. This fork does the twirling for you and all you have to do is wait patiently for it to wind up the pasta so you can enjoy your meal with satisfying bites. The motorized fork is actually sold and costs just $9.

Defendius: The ultimate security tool

2011-04-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Thinking about getting security equipment for your house? Defendius does the job of... eh... making it hard to get out! The worst thing about this invention is that it doesn't even look cool. It just makes its owner look silly.

The Bar Soundbubble

2011-04-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

You're at a bar where the music is really loud. Your friend is trying to say something to you, but you just can't hear him. You try everything, but no, the message isn't coming through. This is a time you need the "Bar Soundbubble". It lets you stick your head inside a bubble with your friend and have chat about whatever it is you wanted to talk about. Practical? yes, very! I'm impressed.

Beer + Milk = Bilk

2011-04-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

I do like milk and I do like beer, but I never ever thought that it would be a good idea to mix the two. But someone else did! Yes, in Japan, some manufacturer tried selling Bilk - which they made by mixing 3/4 beer and 1/4 milk. It looks interesting, but would I try it? Hmm, not sure...

Baby jail

2011-04-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

I think it's safe to say that some people do have problems with toddlers who just won't stay still. This invention offers a drastic solution. It does look a little creepy though!

The Kush

2011-04-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

The Kush is an invention that fits between a woman's breasts to prevent boob crushage while she sleeps. Clever.

The wearable towel

2011-04-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

The couple pictured above are happy for a reason: They have the wearable towels. This means that they can go to the beach and not suffer through the problem of having their towel slipping off as they try to change their clothes. Practical, eh? Well, it's not the worst invention ever, but I think i*d stick with a robe.

This product comes with this infomercial:

Sit and surf

2011-03-31T03:59:00.000-07:00

A lot of the inventions I have posted have that in common that they seek to make things we do require much less effort. So is the case with this invention too. Our glorious inventor must've seen surfers and thought to himself that it's a shame that this sport is only for slim, well-trained people who are in great shape. This invention will make it possible for the laziest of us to surf. I imagine some of the old regular surfers will look at you with some skepticism though.

This invention was patented, but I'm not sure it was ever actually produced.

The tea bag holder

2011-03-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

If you look for the perfect gift for those who has everything, this is a great idea. They might ask what it's for ("to hold your tea bags, dumb ass") though.

Pro thumb wrestling

2011-03-28T08:22:00.001-07:00

If you like to thumb wrestle with your friends, this is the thing to get. It sure must create the right atmosphere.

The good hearing tool

2011-03-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am not 100 percent sure when this invention was made, but I suppose it's for those who are hearing impaired. I think today we have technological tools that work better, but I have to admit that this looks very cool. Want attention? Get this!

Fundies: The underwear for two

2011-03-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

This is easily one of my favorite inventions ever! The Fundies are "twice as fun", according to the producer, but since "half the fun is getting in them", I have serious doubts about just how fun these Fundies actually are. I wonder if the other half of fun is getting out of them again?

If you're a man and think "hey, this will spice up things home between me and my wife," think again. Take this review, for example: “to hell with fundies. my husband got them for me on our fifth anniversary and i was soooo angry i refused to let him sleep with me for a week and my damn husband filed for a divorce!!!!!!!!!! I would give them a 0 on the rating chart if i could.DONT BUY FUNDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” My advice: Stick with flowers.

Pancake-making robot

2011-03-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

This invention is actually surprisingly cool. I think a pancake-making robot is really something we need to get in our society, and ultimately I also want one in my kitchen. That does not mean that I think we're in a great rush to ensure that everyone has a robot like this. I think we first have other things to work on, like say diseases and stuff like that.

I can't help it but imagine the following conversation between scientists:

"Bill, shouldn't we be working on a robot that can aid doctors when they are doing surgery?"
"No, you know what, I want to focus on the really important things in life!"

Pancakes.

The female lap invention

2011-03-20T08:18:00.001-07:00

Guys! Forget about all the hazzle with dating. Have no girlfriend and wish to sleep in a lap? This thing solves it.

And I was the one who thought women would be the first to find a way to no longer require the services of the other sex.

The fake plastic hand toothpick device

2011-03-20T08:15:00.001-07:00

It's a good idea to pick your teeth and if you must absolutely do it in public, this invention is pretty damn smart. Sure, you may just happen to get quite a bit of attention because you got a lose hand covering your mouth, but at least they won't see what it is you do. What I wonder is where the other actual hand is and why it can't cover the tooth picking action? Anyone care to guess?

Every father's breastfeeding device

2011-03-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

Robert de Niro's character in "Meet the Fockers" has a device like this. It is made to confuse a baby into thinking his father is his mother - as if a baby would. Not very smart, but it's made.

The self-stirring cup

2011-03-17T03:40:00.000-07:00

Ever made something to drink that needs to be stirred only to realize you have nothing to stir it with - or that you've simply become too lazy to actually do the job? Then this thing is for you. This cup stirs itself! I guess it's for the really, really, really lazy folks out there.

Motorized ice cream cone!

2011-03-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

I get it, ice cream is really, really difficult to eat! That is why you need the motorized ice cream cone. I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it seems it moves the ice cream around so it's easier to read. It saves you the energy to move your hand at least.