The Art of Love

Valentine’s day

2012-05-08T22:44:00.007-07:00

On February 14, many people send these special messages called valentines. On this day people around the world show their friendship and love for those around them by celebrating Valentine’s Day.

The Roman emperor Claudius II helped to start a modern Valentine’s Day tradition. Claudius passed a law that made marriage illegal in 270 AD.

One of early bishop, Valentine thought this law was wrong, so he married people in secret.

Because he broke the law, later he was put in jail. There he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. The girl was blind , but Valentine did a miracle to make her see again.

Valentine was killed. But before he died, he sent the girl a note. He signed it, ‘From Your Valentine.’ Valentine died in February 14.

For many years, Valentine’s Day celebrated only in Rome. Then Roman government sent its armies to other countries and the soldiers continued to celebrate their Roman holidays while they were fighting.

Cultures around world celebrate this holiday in different ways. But all Valentine’s Day custom honor friendship and love. People give other valentines on Valentine’s day. A valentine can be a box of chocolates. It can be a gift of flowers.

Valentine’s day

Physical beauty

2012-03-27T18:44:00.005-07:00

The deception that special beauty is to be esteemed above beauty of heart spirit and live leaves both men and women feeling unattractive, ashamed, embarrassed and hopelessly flawed.

Beauty is the pleasant sum of different parts working together. That’s why in dictionary beauty means harmony. In the old languages, especially Latin, harmony mean ‘agreement’.

Physical beauty is revealed through a woman in agreement and who radiates harmony.

Beauty means stands a combination of qualities that please the aesthetic sense and especially the sight. While grace means attractiveness in manner or movement. Beauty without grace is regarded as incomplete, and several proverbs even suggest that an ugly woman might well have more grace than a beautiful one.

Some people naturally notice and appreciate beauty. The other have to work at it. Noticing beauty is a skill that can be developed and by working to strengthen the appreciation of beauty, the people are able to find their own beauty and have a richer life.

Physical or external beauty is immediately visible. Inner or internal beauty is not always immediately observable. But both types of beauty are connected and spring from one another. Physical beauty is often a sign of inner beauty.

Physical beauty

Wedding ceremony

2012-01-09T21:24:00.000-08:00

When two people who deeply love each other decide to marry, they reach into their essence of their beings in order to create and nurture something greater – their union.

These two people had their whole lives in front of them and wanted to spend that time together as husband and wife.

The wedding ceremony is the heart of the wedding day and the couple are the stars of the show.

The purpose of the wedding is the exchange of vows. The flowers, the rings, the prayers, the blessings and everything else just reinforce those pledges of commitment.

Marriage represents the commitment of two people to each other and to their union. Wedding is a special day for as a couple.

The ceremony sees marriage as a celebration of human destiny, It knowledge that the union will have as one of its major commitments the willingness of the partners to search for, discover and support each other.
Wedding ceremony

Engagement ring

2011-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

To symbolize the new relationship into which the engaged pair has entered, the young man present his respective bride with an engagement ring.

Since the custom of a man giving an engagement ring to his betrothed first began, this one pieces of jewelry had brought more joy than any other symbol of marriage.

A diamond solitaire is the traditional engagement ring, set in yellow, gold, white gold or platinum. It is the most common form of symbolizing an engagement.

A man consider one of many gorgeous and equally beautiful gemstone available such as rubies, sapphires or aquamarine.

The custom of giving diamond engagement rings in the United States began in the late 1800s.

Diamond engagement ring perhaps the most extreme, and successful form of branding incorporating the female body as a projection of make honor. It is one that has become so heavily ingrained into modern American culture.

There are as many ring choices as there are people interested in getting one. There are many choice of shape that is round, oval, marquise, pear, radiant, emeralds, heart and princess, all with a variety of setting.

In 1992 there was a report suggested that 55 percent of engagement rings buyers preferred round center stones, and 23 percent chose tapered at each and marquise cuts.

The symbolism of the engagement ring as an eternal circle tying the wife to her husband in a marriage, in which only death could do them apart.
Engagement ring

Anxiety of love

2011-09-11T07:21:00.000-07:00

Psychiatry professionals confirm that anxiety is closely related to fear. Anxiety is more typically focus in something distant or in future something that may or may not happen. For example that anxiety that love might not succeed.

When he or she found a partner and established a love relationship, the coupled then often anxious that he or she may lose their love.

All this social emphasis being humorous an interesting conversionalist, fun, impressive, and gender appropriate in actions provoking for both sexes, but perhaps more so for men than women.

The pressure caused by anxiety is only worsened by the normal dating expectation that one will be not be ‘uptight’.

Love relationship always rely on a particular anxiety. The very feeling of falling in love is coupled with a feeling of anxiety than can sometimes prevent the subject from pursuing his or her love interest.

The man could transform his own social anxiety into coping with risk and feel more in control, because it his choice of risk. Humor is another way to cope with anxiety, by laughing it off.

Believe in love at first sight forces men and women anxiety about love in general. Whether eyes meet across a crowded room, or passion stirs after a respectable period of time, falling is hard to do with dignity.

The problem being that stupid love or true love feel exactly the same,. They both involve the sensation of falling.
Anxiety of love

Wedding Ring

2011-07-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

Wedding rings are not just gold or silver they can be almost any metal, either plain or with gem settings.

However the most traditional wedding ring is a simple gold band.

Some new wedding bands are thin rings of ruby or sapphire and some even have fine bits of metal inlaid into the band.

There are many styles of rings to choose from. The bride want to try on a variety of rings to help determined what appeals in terms of the shape and setting.

While the diamond is the most popular engagement ring choice, some brides prefer colored stones, semiprecious stones or their birthstone.

The wedding ring has evolved in from countless times. Its purpose however has remained unchanged: to signify unending union.

Ancient civilizations living along the fertile plains of the Nile River were the first people to form tokens of commitment.

They twisted and varied grasses and reeds from the riverbanks into symbolic finger rings.

Iron was preferred by the early Romans, who believed this strong material reflected the strength of their unions.

During biblical times, great dowry gifts were given at a couple’s betrothal. It has been speculated that a ring, especially one of the precious metal, was substituted as a less expensive dowry.

In many Western cultures the wedding ring is worn on the left hand. In some countries such as Germany, India, and Chile, however it is worn on the right hand. Also in Spain it is worn right, except by Catalan people.

A traditional reason to wear the wedding ring on the right hand stems for Roman customs. The left had a negative connotation and the right a good one.
Wedding Ring

Mood and Love

2011-06-11T21:57:00.001-07:00

When we are in a good mood we tend to feel good about the people around us.

When we feel happy, satisfied, excited, interested, curios, we show great interest in people and are friendlier and more open than we are sad, depressed or despairing.

If you found in good mood, you might whistle while you work or sing in the shower. Little annoyance will not bother you as much.

You’ll let your guard down and feel free to be yourself. True love allows people to be themselves in the company of the one they love.

Mood is responsible for the seasons of the psyche, seasons that nurtures certain thoughts and extinguish others, seasons that not even the heart can ignore.

As our emotions give color to the canvas of human consciousness and our thought the designs of its images our moods determine the brightness and contrast that textures all experience.

Our mood also influences our romantic attraction.

The reason is that the story of our hearts mood and desire. When we are happy, we love; when we are not happy, we don not love.
Mood and Love

The Right Moves on Casual Dates

2011-04-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

The first dates is nothing more than an opportunity for the two to get to know each other better.

If conversation ranges widely yet avoids certain topics, proper behavior is a mixture of adhering to slightly shaky codes of behavior and providing excitement though spontaneously and the unusual.

In the traditional gender behavior code, the male opens doors and pays for everything and is in charge of ‘showing her a good time.’

He defers to her desires. But her first priority is to please him.

There are three goals for the first date: get to known each other, have fun and make a good first impression while remaining authentic.

Even after twenty five years of liberation, young men worry about their assumed responsibility for success of the date but women may be as frequently concerned about the right places to go and significantly concerned about money and who pays.

The penalty for not doing the right thing can be not getting a second chance. Both partners normally avoid any corrective feedback and act as if everything is going fine all during the date, in order to convince each other that they are ‘fun to be with.’

Actually first dates are fact-finding missions that should be short and inexpensive, such as an outing for coffee, lunch or after-work drinks.

Further more, a first date could happen without without the two even knowing or planning it.
The Right Moves on Casual Dates

Sentiment of Romantic Love

2011-01-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

Sentiment of Romantic Love
In many of the poems a nobleman would fall in love with a lady at the royal court. He would become her knight and devote himself to her service though his passion for her would rarely be consummated.

The love of Lancelot for King Arthurs’s wife, Guinevere, is perhaps the best known story to emerge from this literary genre.

If romantic love really were an invention of some medieval ports, nobody could have felt this emotion before the Middle Ages.

In fact, romantic love probably goes back much further than this, perhaps even to the dawn of human kind. A hundred thousands years ago, while our ancestors were still confined to the African plains, their physical activities were very different from ours, but their emotional lives were probably very similar.

The first humans spent much of their time scouring the terrain for edible plants and making temporary shelters, activities now completely absent from all but a few human communities.

But many evolutionary psychologist have argue that they also spent a lot of time getting infatuated with one another making love, feeling jealous and getting heart broken, just as we do today.

Romantic love can also be found in cultures separated from our own by space as well as time, in the remote preliterate societies studied by anthropologists.

The cultural theory of romantic love defined that romantic love identified the following core features of the idea: a powerful feeling of sexual attraction to a single person, feelings of anguish and longing when the loved one is absent and intent joy when he or she is present.

Other elements also lifted including elaborate gestures such as giving gifts and showing one’s love in song and poetry.
Sentiment of Romantic Love

The Feeling of Unconditional Love

2010-09-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

The Feeling of Unconditional Love
Unconditioned love means to love without conditions. This might sound simple but it really entails a lot.

Feeling loved and becoming unconditionally loving doesn’t happen all at once. Experiencing real loves takes time and patience and you’ll stumble and fall along the way.

Unconditional love love is loving your self and your neighbor and friend totally without the concept of judgment or need.

Unconditional love, loves totally without even the concept of need for the love to be returned.

But the the journey is well worth every effort. This not fantasy. Thousands of people have successfully used this simple process to find real love, genuine happiness and fulfill relationships.

However, sometimes we are thinking that, we can’t just unconditionally love people when they’re wrong, Somebody has to speak up when mistakes are made.

It’s true that we sometimes do have responsibility to teach and correct people – children and employees for example. But that never has to be done with disappointment and anger, the two signs that always reveal that your true motivation is to get something for ourselves and that is not real love.

Loving people unconditionally also doesn’t mean that you have their responsibility to give them everything they want. That would just be indulgent and irresponsible.

When we love people unconditionally, we accept them as they are and contribute to their happiness as wisely as we can.

Unconditional love is often thought of as a spiritual attribute or quality. In order to love without conditions, it often takes a greater spiritual understanding.

Unconditional love is the perfection of love and caring. It is the truth of love and caring.
The Feeling of Unconditional Love

What is Love?

2010-07-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

What is Love?
Love has intrigued people throughout history. Its joys and sorrows have inspired artists and poets, novelists, filmmakers, and other students of human interaction.

Indeed, love is one of the most pervasive themes in the art and literature of many cultures.

Each of out own lives has been influenced in significant ways by love, beginning with love we received as infants and children. Our best and worst moments on life can be tied to a love relationship.

Love is a special kind of attitude, with strong emotional and behavioral components, it is also a phenomenon that eludes easy definition or explanation. As the following definitions suggest, love can mean different things to different people.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

As difficult as love is to define, can it be meaningful measured? Some social scientists have attempted to do so, with varied result. Perhaps the most ambitious attempt to measure love was undertaken years ago by psychologist Zick Rubin, who developed a 13 item questionnaire (the Love Scale) designed to asses a person’s desire for intimacy with, and caring and attachment for another.

Some evidence supporting the validity of the Love Scale was obtained in a investigation of the popular belief that lovers spend a great deal of time looking into one another’s eyes.

Couples were observed though a one way mirror while they waited to participate in a psychological experiment. The finds revealed that weak lovers (couples who scored below average on the Love Scale) made significantly less eye contact than did strong lovers (those with above average scores).
What is Love?

The Arousal Caused by Expecting Romantic Love

2010-06-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

The Arousal Caused by Expecting Romantic Love
Expression such as “love at first sight,” “a match made in heaven.” And “made for each other” are familiar to all of us and generate higher expectations of romantic love and for falling in love.

Romantic movies, books and mythologies about great loves help built these expectations.

A poll showed that over 56% of the people polled believed in love at first sight; analysis of the romantic attraction interview showed that only 11% actually experienced it.

Most people growing up in a western culture know what romantic love is and have experienced it at some point in their lives.

For many, romantic love is one of the most powerful positive emotions ever felt. Some believe that love can answer the question of human existence, celebrate the freedom of choice and pursuit of happiness and provide the best basis for marriage.

There are three requirements for falling in love:
*A social cultural background that builds the expectation to fall in love
*An appropriate candidate (in terms of such things as appearance, personality, background and values)
*Arousal that obtains the label “romantic love”.
The Arousal Caused by Expecting Romantic Love

Casual Dating Relationships : Stable or transitory?

2010-05-21T22:02:00.001-07:00

Casual Dating Relationships : Stable or transitory?
When students were asked what influenced them to enter the most significant romantic involvement of their lives to date, the most frequently mentioned factor was the “social clock,” that is, their reactions to getting older combined with expectations of those around them that is was time to find a mate.

If a decision to seek (not to seek) intimate involvement can make the difference between casual and series dating, can casual dating relationships be stable in themselves? A medieval treatise on courtly love tells us:

It is known that love is always either increasing or decreasing. If love diminished, it quickly fails and rarely revives.

If this is true about human nature, then once the increase of love is thwarted by words or actions designed to keep the relationship casual it is on its way to extinction.

But couldn’t two causal lovers counteract this instability by agreeing to keep their feelings dampened in order to mutually avoid either having to commit to “love” or terminate?
Casual Dating Relationships : Stable or transitory?

The World of Happiness

2010-04-26T00:48:00.000-07:00

The World of Happiness
The world of happiness do not mean the fleeting pleasure get from money, sex, and conditional approval.

It also do not mean the brief feeling of relief experiences during the temporary absence or conflict or disaster.

Real happiness is not the feeling we get from being entertained or making people do what we want.

Genuine happiness is a profound and lasting sense of peace and fulfillment that deeply satisfies and enlarges the soul.

It doesn’t go away when circumstances get difficult. It survives and even grows hardship and struggle.

True happiness is our entire reason to live and that kind of happiness can only be obtained as we find Real Love and share it with others.

With the real love, nothing else matters; without it, nothing else is enough.

The greatest fear of all for a human being is to be unloved and alone. Those people were consistently more afraid that no one cared about them.

We all have a deep yearning to fell connected to each other and when that connection is missing, we are terrified.

When someone is genuinely concerned about our happiness, we do feel that connection to another person. We feel included in his or her life, and in that instant we are no longer alone.

Each moment of unconditional acceptance creates a living thread to the person who accepts us, and these threads weave a powerful bond that fills us with a genuine and lasting happiness.

Nothing but real love can do that. In addition, when we now that even one person loves us unconditionally, we feel a connection to everyone else.

We feel included in the family of all mankind, of which that one person is part.
The World of Happiness

The Appearance of Love

2010-03-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

The Appearance of Love
Love is an evolutionary product; that is, the talent to love, the wish to love, the ability to love, and the need to be loved are somehow genetically passed on from generation to generation.

But evolution has been going on for about 4 billion years. When did love appear? Was the first living created , probably some kind of virus or microbe, capable of love?

Love requires warn blood. Warm blood causes warm feelings and warm blood is a very new “invention” of evolution, being only 150 million years old.

It was brought into the world by the mammals, the last family to appear on earth and to which we belong.

All life forms that existed before the mammals – that is all life forms on earth from 4 billion to 150 million years back - constantly needed an external source of warmth in order to function and were dependent on the sun.

The mammals invention freed living creatures from immediate dependence on the sun. Mammals maintain their body temperature at an almost constant level throughout the day.

Humans, for instance, refule body temperature around 37 degrees C throughout the day – summer or winter morning, noon, or night at the north pole or at the equator. This is how they achieved independence.

We are no longer addicted to the sun in order to start the day.

When we think of the world as the mammals found it 150 years million years ago, ruled by big reptiles, goat lizards and dinosaurs, this is a great advantage. Their rule was absolute, powerful, total – the newly arrived, tiny mammal did not have a chance on earth to find is livelihood.

A small creature, such as a mouse or a shrimp could not compete against these giants for living space unless it were to outsmart them and steal out in uncharted territory – the night.

Then it could even steal one of their eggs because they were helpless fuels less at night and the winnings went to those who could maintain their body heat at night.

This available “niche” of nighttime is what encouraged the appearance of warm blood. And so we get an entirely new creature: one that is economically independent.

To this day, 90% of all mammals are night creature. The night, as we have said, gave birth to warm blood. But what is the connection between warm blood and warm feelings? We were looking for warn feelings, feeling of love.
The Appearance of Love

Reactance Theory

2010-03-04T18:53:00.000-08:00

Reactance Theory
Why do girls get prettier at closing time? One explanation is offered by reactance theory: When our freedom to act, think or feel is threatened, we are motivated to try to get it back.

This is whey people want more the things they have lost and why, in the case of romantic love, they desire those who are not interested in them and those they could not or did not have. This is also why the kiss that did not happen continues to haunt us.

Reactance theory also explains why obstacles enhance love. To enhance love, says reactance theory, the obstacles need to be outside the relationship, for example, an enforced separation or parental objection.

The most famous case of such obstacles to love is no doubt the tragic story of Romeo and Juliet, a story that pulls on our heart strings hundred of years after it was written.

Does parental interference really enhance love? Researchers who investigated the “Romeo and Juliet effect” found that for both married and unmarried couples there was indeed a positive correlation between romantic love and parental inference .

The greater the interference was, the greater was the love. The implications of this finding for parent who disapprove of the romantic choice of their offspring should be obvious.
Reactance Theory

How do casual partners communicate?

2010-02-19T01:31:00.000-08:00

How do casual partners communicate?
It is very important for most casual dating partners to be able to talk comfortably with each other. In one study problems college students experienced on dates, 35% of men and 20% of women listed communication, while 20% of men also mentioned shyness.

Casual dating conversation is supposed to be fun, and yet some important information is being gained about both the partners and the process of relating to each other.

Conversation is likely to focus directly on activities and attitudes the two people have in common, mapping out new territory the two might explore in their time together.

Or, conversely one may strive to identify herself in an area as a distinctive individual.

Most people do some of both – seeking inclusion by fitting in, and of differentiating oneself by standing out.

As students compare attitudes and interests, they usually come out in favor of honesty and directness.

Yet, in order to avoid committing themselves prematurely to any potentially risky attitude or a statement that might offend the partner they are likely to speak indirectly about such matter.

One way that casual daters explore their potential for a relationship is to discuss highlights of their own past relationships and those of other couples that they know.
How do casual partners communicate?

Real Love and Genuine Happiness

2010-02-03T00:29:00.000-08:00

Real Love and Genuine Happiness
Real love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.

When we give real love, we’re not disappointed, hurt or angry, even people are thoughtless or inconsiderate or give us nothing in return – including gratitude - because our concern is for their happiness, not our own.

Real love is unconditional.

It’s real love when other people care our happiness without any concern for themselves.

They’re not disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes, when we don’t do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally.

Sadly, few of us have either given or received that kind of love, and without it we experience a terrible void on our live, which we try to fill with money, power, food, approval, sex and entertainment.

But no matter, how much of those substitutes we acquire we remain empty, alone, afraid and angry, because the one thing we relay need is Real love. Without it, we can only be miserable; with it, out happiness is guaranteed.
Real Love and Genuine Happiness

Obstacles Enhance Love

2010-01-17T09:42:00.000-08:00

Obstacles Enhance Love
Some obstacle is necessary to swell the tide of libido to its height; and at all periods of history whenever natural barriers in the way of satisfaction have not suffered, mankind has erected conventional ones in order to enjoy love.

Why are some people attracted to those who are not interested on them? Could it be the challenge that intrigues them? The thrill of the chase? Clearly, not having is more arousing for such people than having.

Folk songs are one of the best sources of folk wisdom about strong emotions such as longing and romantic love.

According to one of the country song, “all the girl get prettier at closing time.” Is it true when the time for closing the bar draws near and with it the painful thought of going home alone, the standard go down, and the attractions of the available people in the vicinity go up?

The study finding showed that a linear increase in attractiveness rating of both men and women.

As the hour grew later, the opposite sex in the bar appeared more attractive. A later study showed that this effect was not the result of alcohol consumption. It is noteworthy that men rated women as more attractive than women rated men.

Why do girls prettier at closing time? One explanation is offered by ‘reactance theory’. When our freedom to act, think or feel is threatened we are motivated to try to get it back. This is why people want more the thing they have lost and why in the case of romantic love, they desire those who are just interested in them and those they could not or did not have.

Reactance theory also explains why obstacles enhance love. To enhance love says reactance theory the obstacle needs to be outside the relationship, for example an enforced separation parental objection.

The most famous case of such obstacles to love is no doubt the tragic story of Romeo and Juliet, story that pulls on our heart strings hundreds of years after it was written.
Obstacles Enhance Love

Casual dating

2009-12-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

Casual dating
Casual dating period is a beginning with the second planned meeting or date and ending when both partners experience themselves as being “serious” or in love.

There are two different kinds of causal dating, which are most likely to be distinguished by the time period in which they occur.

First, during adolescent exploration, young people experiment with romantic involvements. They may “spend time” or “mess a around,” but often end relationship suddenly because they feel awkward or just get tired of being in a relationship and want to try something or someone else.

Adolescent couples are beginning to learn about love, and the main way of distinguishing between casual and serious dating is the length of the relationship.

On the other hand, in college causal dating, cultural norms encourage both sexes to put off seeking a marriage partner until they have finished their studies and gotten established in their career.

Many strident also have not recovered enough emotionally from the breakup of a long term relationship during and after high school to be comfortable with a serious involvement during the early years of college.

Though they may not hold back from sex, and they may allow themselves to explore and experiment with passion and intimacy, they believe in avoiding commitments.

Adolescent exploration occurs widely in Europe and may other places, but casual dating or “going out as friends” in college is prevalent only in North America.
Casual dating

Affairs of the Heart

2009-10-30T04:08:00.001-07:00

Affairs of the Heart
Romantic love is often dramatic and overwhelming.

Although falling in love can feel as warm and comfortable as putting on a favorite sweater, it also can send you on a personal roller coaster ride.

Your heart the organ primarily responsible for pumping blood through your body, also measure these emotional fluctuations.

It takes your emotional temperature and registers when something extraordinary is happening by quickening its beats.

So it’s certainly no surprise that when something as exciting as falling in love occurs your heart responds.

Although the heart is a popular symbol of love, studies show that the brain responds most intensively to love, sending the first physical messages through a series of chemical releases.

Those first moments of elation, followed by infatuation are brought about when a portion of the brain releases natural amphetamines.

These amphetamines stimulate, or quicken, your heartbeat.

After spending time with the object of your desire that initial rush will subside and your brain will release neurochemicals known as endorphins.

These neurochemicals reduce sensation s of pain and affect emotions.

They help you feel safe and at peace in the company of your beloved.
Affairs of the Heart

One Night Stand

2009-10-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

One Night Stand
The process that occurs in first encounter sex is fairly simple, at least as culturally defined in a bar.

By showing up alone or with only friends, a woman signals that she may be open to new contacts, and these might possibly include sex.

Normally, enough alcohol is consumed so that stranger-anxiety is anesthetized away and conversation is more playful that intimate.

The right “moves” are blatant to avoid embarrassing or potentially dangerous misinterpretation. If both people keep saying yes, they may end up in bed together.

Some people, such as those in the military and workaholics, may be starved for contact, affection and sex because they lack time and a few potential partners are available.

Others may be unwilling to get more involved than one night affairs because of the pain of a recent relationship breakup, fear of intimacy, or fear of the type of men or women to whom they are attracted.

Or they may want to revive their belief in themselves as an attractive person.

Sometimes the motives of enhancing self-esteem with peer group outweigh all the others. For some men daring the pick-up game with friends and beer, masculine history seems to be at stake.
One Night Stand

Sexual Love

2009-09-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Sexual Love
Pure sexuality is a generic determined phenomenon billions of years old and is shared by many creatures, who are much older than us in the evolutionary sense and to whom we do not tend to apply the talent of love.

When a male lizard mates with a female, we view it as a sexual act, not one of love. But natural selection, in its own way, grooms this start over the generations to higher and higher complexities, to better and better perfection, and adds increasingly more mechanisms to initial sexuality, which turn the sexual process onto something more precise, fine tuned and thus more successful.

Love is the tool that assists us to correctly select a mate, to calibrate and gently adjust the process of sexual selection.

Sexual love is an evolutionary-designed tool that guides our selection of a mate. How does it do it? The judgment process involved in whom one falls in love with is based on a large number of criteria.

The first is the mechanism that guides us to fall in love with a person who is genetically similar to ourselves.

The second, on the contrary, is the mechanism that distances us from those who are genetically too similar to ourselves.

How does genetic similarity contribute lot our success in reproducing offspring? Let’s imagine somebody falling in love with a cow. They might make a very nice couple, experiencing lots peace and quite, warmth and harmony.

They would never quarrel and their refrigerator would always be full of diary products. But they would no doubt lack one thing – children.

However, children are not final end; they are but no means. The final end is grandchildren, and this is where difficult problems will arise.

It is, therefore, better for a man to fall in love with a woman, and of all women he will select the one most similar to himself, even within the same town and the same community.

An ever lengthening list of studies has found advantages in mates with great similarities. For instances, the higher the genetic similarity is, the higher fertility rates will be.

Fewer abortions and healthier children will follow.

In addition, the levels of altruism and mutual assistance within the family are higher, harmony and stability in the couple’s life are better, and their marriage satisfaction is greater.
Sexual Love

The Two Factor Theory of Love

2009-09-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

The Two Factor Theory of Love
A terrified person is potentially a person in love, as is an angry person, a jealous person, a rejected person, and a happy person.

Actually, every person who experiences the physiological arousal that accompanies strong emotions is potentially a person in love.

A woman who meets a man after the excitement of winning a great promotion in her work is more likely to fall in love with him than she would be on a routine day.

Likewise, a man is more likely to fall in love with a woman when mourning a terrible loss.

The reason, in both cases, has to do with the two components of love: arousal and a label.

The two factor theory of love is a derivation of a more general theory of emotions. According to this theory, like a car in order to arrive at its destiny needs for us to start the engine and then determine its direction, to define a certain emotion we also need two things:

One (which is analogous to starting the engine) is a general state of arousal; it is similar for all strong emotions and includes such physiological responses as rapid heart beat and fast breathing.

The second (which is analogous to steering the car in a certain direction) is an emotional label that explains the arousal – love, anger, fear, jealousy.

We learn the appropriate labels for different states of arousal (which is what we are supposed to feel in different situations) from our parents, teachers, friends, the media and personal experience.

We know, for example, that we are supposed to feel delighted when a dear friend comes for a visit, but anxious when followed on a dark street even when the physiological arousal involved in the same.

Combined effect of physiological arousal and a romantic label on the experience of romantic love can be explained:

To love passionately, a person must have first be physically aroused, a condition manifested by palpitations of the heart, nervous tremor, flushing and accelerated breathing. One he is so aroused all that remains is for him to identify this complex of feelings as passionate love, and he will have experienced authentic love.

Even of the initial physical arousal is the result of an irrelevant experience .....once he has met the person, been drawn to the person, and identified the experience as love, it is love.

Many people are personally acquainted with the phenomenon of spring fever.

This wonderful love ailment strikes during the early days of string, arriving with the sun, the blossoms and the fresh air the long gloom of winter.

But, as the personal experiences suggest every major life change causes arousal. From the exciting yet anxiety-provoking change of starting school or a new job, to a change in residence, to the painful loss of a significance person, major life changes increase the like-hood off falling in love.
The Two Factor Theory of Love

“Playing Hard to Get”

2009-08-05T07:17:00.001-07:00

“Playing Hard to Get”
People can attempt to gain control in initial encounters by appearing less available, less interested in relationship, or more popular than their potential partners.

This has been called the principle of least interest: “That person is able to dictate the conditions of association whose interest in the continuation of the affair is least.”

But the accent is on continuation. Playing “hard to get” doesn’t seem to work very well until a relationship is already established.

Studies of a “hard to get effect” on pre-relationship behavior only showed that people like prospective partners who are selective, but not too selective, or liked people who liked the research subject., but lacked in interest in anybody else.

In initial encounters, prospective partners may already establish some control over the process by being less available or more assertive.

But they must first appear to have enough interest in the other person that a desirable relationship appears to be possible.

Without the hope and experience of satisfying times together, few people will submit for long to the intermittent reinforce of: “I really like you – but I won’t be available for awhile, because I’m too busy with other things.”
“Playing Hard to Get”