By the Wayside

Music Monday - February 12, 2018

2018-02-12T08:24:00.001-08:00

Trying something new today. This is simply a list of 10 of the artists, songs, and albums that I've found myself listening to and enjoying recently.

1. Julien Baker - Turn Out The Lights

Her voice. Her lyrics. Piano. Yeah.

2. New Politics - Lost in Translation

Love their single One of Us

3. Walk the Moon - What if Nothing
They got it going on. Fun.

4. Queens of the Stone Age - Villains
I love their rhythms, particularly Domesticated Animals & Feet Don't Fail Me

5. The Revivalists - Men Amongst Mountains

This is from 2015, but I still love the sound and flow of the songs on this one.

6. Portugal. The Man - Woodstock

Was there a better single in 2017 than Feel it Still? Try the entire album!

7. Manchester Orchestra - A Black Mile to the Surface

Even if not as good as some of their earlier stuff, it's still something I like when contemplative.

8. Offa Rex - The Queen of Hearts

Love the folk sound of this one. On point.

9. lovelytheband - everything i could never say...

Thanks ALT AZ 93.3 for introducing me to their single broken.

10. K. Flay - Every Where is Some Where
Lyrically moving. Rhythmically moving. Authentic and compelling.

By the looks of it...I'm still into albums from mid to late 2017. There are plenty more I could put on here but I'll wait until another Monday!

Being a Wanderer.

2018-02-06T10:35:00.000-08:00

What if I want to be a wanderer?

Better phrased, what if being a wanderer, a pilgrim, a sojourner, is core to my being?

What my soul longs for are the wide open spaces.

The mountains and streams and beaches.

The open road.

The waysides and rest stops and visitor centers.

The sound of sweeping tree boughs as the wind picks up with the sun inching lower in the sky.

The conversations and the smiles with strangers as well as the intimate knowing of those I'm alongside; united solely by the common geography and journey. Literally and metaphorically on the trail.

I don't want what most want - a city of security and consumption. The idea of settling down, to live with the frantic worry of having to work ever harder to support living where you can work, is bitter in my mind. Not the work, but the cycle. It's the reduction of life into something fake. Home is where your heart connects with those who accept you as you are.

Life is not about consumption and profit. It is about experience and relationship.

To live I must remain:

Hiking a trail.

Gazing at the stars.

Conversing around a campfire or coffee table.

Helping others find their way forward.

Bearing with one another when life is too dark to see the way.

Work to live, doing that which fulfills each of us and promotes the flourishing of all life, moment by moment.

Supporting one another as fellow wanderers.

Journal Reflection: From Systems to Love

2018-01-30T09:17:00.001-08:00

Abstract truth and systemic philosophies and theologies are fun to discuss, perhaps, but they are not how to live life. Wisdom and discernment are more valuable. Understanding the origins, resulting worldview, and trajectory of what is good is all one can do. There is no ideal system that will make

for world peace. There is only love, and those who hope and live faithfully out of love will overcome the baseness and rhetorical deceptions of society and the nation-state. Neither Capitalism nor Socialism can solve our problems. Neither Capitalism nor Socialism will solve our problems. Capital is a tool, not the ends. Social order is a tool also easily modified to being an end instead of a means. Both are incomplete. Both are inadequate. Only love, and a humanity that chooses to seek the flourishing of all life will overcome. This is compassion. Such is why we hear and value so highly the idea of transformation. Transformation is from outside the self. It is outside our collective societal narcissism. Only when we recognize our own biases towards systems and thoughts and become aware of their limitations, can we move forward with humility and compassion. Only by being reoriented in love can we be transformed into the people and world that flourishes.

From a personal reflection dated June 7, 2017.

Reboot

2018-01-22T10:15:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile.

Writing has been difficult for the last few years. Life can have a way of continual growth, ~~even~~ particularly through suffering and loss. Much in the way of the loss was really simply a stripping away of expectations, both those I held (consciously & subconsciously) as well as those created by society. Losing expectations has been freeing, but it also has had its fair share of pain, anxiety, and loneliness.

Through it all, I can say that is not about strength and enduring hardship. It also is most definitely not about trying to absolve myself of responsibility and developing a victim mentality. There has been something deeper, something moving me ever closer to ultimate reality. Losing the myths that society places on us, of winners and losers, of those who work hard for what they have and those who are slackers or dredges on society, and of any type of merit-based belonging is incredibly wholesome.

Everyone belongs.

Everyone includes me. Even when I feel alone and isolated, there is still belonging.

Beloved-ness.

Unconditional belonging simply because I am. You are. We are.

Which is why at this point I know I need to begin to write again. There are so many of us who have been conditioned by society and the systems of the world to where we do not feel we can be vulnerable and real. We have to remain on guard, and all our relationships become transactional. Everything is about what we do or do not get out of it, and we see people clamoring for claiming their own space in the midst of this grand amalgamation called life.

I desire to step outside of transactions, outside of earning worth, outside of using people and being used for agendas.

I desire to step into a space which recognizes each and every day the worth of each of us, and a mutuality that transcends taking and earning.

I resolve to help create pockets of grace, which allow us to be known and loved for who we are, because each of us has that intrinsic worth regardless of action.

Life is a journey, and we're all on the road.

Sometimes we're exhausted and need to rest.

Other times we're lost or don't know which direction to head.

Or we're really enjoying where we are and trying to enjoy the moment and place we're at, and share that joy with others.

We might be there for awhile or for but a moment, but we all have stories to share. We all need encouragement, bearing with each other through the triumphs and tragedies of life. No agendas, no scripted answers, and definitely no programs. Life is deeper than a 3 step model to make our lives better.

The image of such places which I have is a wayside.

A place along a road where people stop to relax, resupply, learn about the area where they are, and connect with fellow travelers on their journeys. All are welcome. All belong.

Will you join me in falling by the wayside?

I'm looking for fellow sojourners and pilgrims, wanderers and adventurers, seekers and mourners, to journey alongside.

Falling by The Wayside: A wanderer's need to tell my story.

2015-12-10T00:12:00.001-08:00

I'm not actually sure how to tell my story. There are several different ways that I could present myself.

Do I follow my resume and show the trajectory, and failed opportunities, of the career choices that I have made?

Do I present my achievements, education, and accolades, showing how diverse and talented I have been?

Do I talk about where I am now, my failures, insecurities, the unfulfilled hopes and struggles of my heart, and present a tragic or cynical story arc?

Do I present the unique and difficult situations that I have faced and persevered through and show a survivor or servant?

Do I present the desires of my heart and the intentions I have made through the decisions for my life, giving a glimpse into the inner workings of what drives me?

Do I frame things in relation to what might be expected of a conversion or witness story, linking everything together into something that seems nice and tidy, even in the midst of the messy and broken?

There are many ways that I could frame my story, and none of them are the only way. None of them are the sole truth of who I am. All of them are a part of me. I know I need to express this story in some way, to reclaim some sort of footing at this time in my life when all seems so deferred and unwanted.

I know I must speak honestly in a coherent reflection on my life that gives expression to what I have learned, grown, discerned, and experienced so far.

The desire to tell my story is not one of narcissism, but of the need to belong. One aspect of my story is that I have found myself isolated and without much of a community to which I unequivocally belong. A community to belong that encourages and enables the sacred and safe telling of their own story: the real stories of people. A place that sees the faces behind the masks of success or approval or coolness or normal or having it all together.

This would be a slightly messy place, and it would most definitely be a broken place.

Yet it would also be beautiful, thriving, and alive.

A community of authentic people sharing their authentic stories and bearing with authentic others,
this is one of the strings in my heart that continues to strum down deep. Perhaps the rest of my life seem discordant, with no graceful rhythm or seeming direction to it, but there is this steady strumming that continues to hint at the way things can be. I might be idealistic, but I truly do not think I am. Rather, I believe it just is something that is not answered by the machinations of the baser ways we try to fulfill ourselves in our society: consumption, materialism, power, sex, in-grouping, fandom, career, economic stability, and winning. I speak to the underlying urges and values that motivate both individuals and communities. There is another way than what is swirling around these days.

My story ends in this other way. Perhaps it is a lonely road. Perhaps there are fellow sojourners who stumble together, asking directions or helping carry the load of another for a bit. I hope they are people who see that everyone has their own road ahead and that they can give a safe space to share the sacred story they are encountering in that moment. Maybe they continue to travel together, or maybe they go their own ways having been encouraged by kindred spirits. I know my story leads to such a place.

A place that helps people wrestle with the circumstances, struggles, successes, and questions of their own lives.

A place that allows people to belong because they are present. Nothing more.

A place bound by love.

That subtle strumming in my heart seems to present a name for this community: The Wayside. It is not a place people seek out as much as they stumble into. People and places "fall by the wayside." Waysides are local places, tied to the people, larger community, and geography. A wayside is a place to fall by and get rest, be refreshed, get assistance, and learn about what lies ahead and around. The wayside accepts not just the influential, the businessmen, the artists, the outcasts, or the huddled masses. It accepts the travelers, the wanderers, the sojourners, and the pilgrims. It is not a place of conflict or strife, but of rest and restoration.

No matter how I tell my story, I see the way in front of me leading to The Wayside. I am not sure how it will be actualized, or where. But I know I must continue to wander life's path before me and create spaces and places where this community springs forth. Anyone care to walk alongside for a bit?

Roosevelt on Country

2015-02-28T05:59:00.001-08:00

Life as Leaves

2015-02-15T12:45:00.000-08:00

Re-embracing Colossus

2015-02-08T06:02:00.001-08:00

Perhaps the most un-American saying uttered by many Americans is some form of "if you don't agree/like (name the policy or idea), then you should leave."

It disgraces what America is and always has been about. It totally ignores history and in fact is just plain ignorant. America is a place of opportunity and freedom, which inherently means diversity and being a melting pot society. Such tribalism and arrogance of thinking one subset of our population is the only one that should be citizens in this great union flies in the face of what the founders and builders of this nation have done for 200 years.

May we always be generous enough with our beliefs to allow for difference of opinion and ideas. Embrace diversity and differing ideas/culture. Let us not fear that which is different.

Etched upon the base of the Statue of Liberty is the New Colossus by Emma Lazarus. It's concluding lines are the perfect reminder of what America is:

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Roadkill

2015-02-07T15:10:00.001-08:00

How you react to seeing roadkill says something about the condition of your heart.

Don't be indifferent.

Make your own Best of 2014 List:

2014-12-29T06:27:00.000-08:00

Your Best of 2014:

Favorite Movies:

Best Books:

Top Album and/or Songs:

Most listened to ‘old’ Album and/or Songs:

Favorite TV Shows:

Best Meal:

Top new flavor experience:

Favorite new home-cooked recipe made:

Top Beverage:

Favorite travel/vacation moment:

Best new location visited:

Top family get-together:

Best event attended:

Favorite piece of art:

Memorable sporting event or news item:

Top game (board, video, card, or group):

Most memorable learning moment or class:

Conversation had:

Most fun had:

Most touching moment:

Experience most desired to be forgotten:

Best piece of wisdom:

Most rewarding experience:

Lasting image:

Favorite new clothing item:

Favorite gadget/toy/tool/appliance:

Best thing given up:

Memorable sunrise/sunset experience:

Top work-related moment:

Funniest/ most embarrassing moment:

Other memorable moments:

1 Word to sum up your year:

Just reply with your answers, or share!

What Makes A Good Man?

2014-12-10T08:57:00.004-08:00

Let's begin at the end.

Countless eulogies and epitaphs describe a deceased person in a variation of the sentiment of "he was a good man." Sitting graveside we all remember fondly those we shared life with, reveling in the memories of a grieving mind: the cherished moments of a kind word, selfless act, or noble deed. Such memories are not alone in remembrance, however. Our loved one may have had a hair-trigger temper, poor financial management, demanding personality, an addiction, or abusive. Certainly not everyone thought the departed was universally "good." Never-the-less, condolence after condolence rolls in with assertions of the goodness of the man or woman being remembered.

Being a science-fiction enthusiast (i.e. nerd), Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead was a book which captivated me in middle school not only for the narrative arc of the story of colliding species, but in the idea of a person who would enter into the lives of those surrounding a person who died to tell not the eulogized, rose-tinted visions of remembrance but a truthful retelling of the life and deeds surrounding the dead. I found it a fascinating concept on our objectivity and understanding of the life we experience. Because the reality is we only know in part, and even what we do know is fallible. We think we know something, yet we do not really grasp it all.

Let me put it a different way: have you ever been surprised by the actions of someone close to you? Did they do something that you did not see coming, and did not seem consistent with what you knew of them (positively or negatively)? We find ourselves joyous or disappointed in those moments. Perhaps we see glimpses of redemption, or struggle with apparent foolishness of decision. First impressions never remain unchanged.

Others actions often lead us to change our valuation of them. They move from good to bad, or vice versa. Other times we simply rack up the action as an exception to their inherent goodness or badness. A zebra cannot change it's stripes, after all.

Now we arrive at the philosophical question on the inherent nature of humankind - are we good or bad?

A second, equally informing, question is whether people can change?

I am convinced we all have an answer to these questions even if we don't know how to articulate them. Most of us base it either on abstract concepts or personal experience. Whether or not we are aware of it, we do live our lives according to our assumptions and beliefs about these questions. I also know that there are many different takes on answering these questions, rooting themselves in underlying convictions of determinism and free will - theistic and athiestic worldviews alike. As I lay out my take, I know that some may agree and other disagree. That is OK.

So: What makes a good man? (go ahead - watch the music video - it'll get you energized for the rest of the post)

I do not think we can deem a man good or bad. They are merely human.

I do not believe that humans are inherently good or bad. I believe that each human being is capable of good and bad.

I believe that it is a mark of our own self-justification rationalizations to attempt to categorize people into good or bad. The reality is we tend to deem those who act, prefer, or enjoy similar things to us as good while condemning the actions of others who are different.

For instance, I am a big American Football fan and while I can watch a soccer game, I do not appreciate it at the same level of intensity as other people. I'm OK with that preference as well. Unlike those who fill the internet with insults, accusations, and rhetorical devices to "prove" their fandom the superior version (no matter which brand of football) the bottom line is that it merely is personal preference. There is no universal correct answer, only contextual and individual preference.

We all have those situations or times where we don't see our own selfish presuppositions and biases. We may be quick to discount someone because of a sharp word or cold demeanor. We might think their stance on some political issue makes them stupid or smart. Unfortunately, it is this very judgment which divides and creates castes or classes of people. Our society is filled with this language, whether economic (middle class, job creators), cultural (popularity, relevant, creatives), national (American, German) generational (Millennials, Baby Boomers), or the uglier bigotries of racism, sexism, and religious fanaticism.

Personally, I believe that anything which dehumanizes other people by reducing their inherent identity and worth into such categories are the bad actions we are capable of. When categories become stereotypes and judgments then we are acting out of self-interest and rationalization. Therefore these are bad actions.

The flip side, our good actions, are simply those rooted in love. They limit the self for the sake of others. It values others for who their are despite categories. The good is that which binds us together, with each other, God, and the creation around us. Good is knowing and being known. It's relational.

If wanting an ancient theological take, we see God create just such a world in Genesis. He creates a world which he calls "good." Then he creates man and woman "in our image." Note that God speaks in relational, plural terms. The relational nature and capability of humanity is found right in the origin of the world. The dynamic creation surrounding us is intricately woven together in relationship. Humanity is then created and placed in a position of stewardship and responsibility, with infinite value and love, between the creator and creation. Humanity exists for relationship. "The fall," of Adam and Eve is eating of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Original sin, the disobedience to God, is wrapped up in our self-asserting need to justify our actions and judge others are good or bad.

Reinhold Niebuhr puts original sin this way, " The fundamental nature of original sin, the sin that underlies our individual transgression, is refusal of creatureliness; in other words, idolatry of self." I would describe what Neibuhr calls creatureliness as our own awareness of our self and limitations (perhaps humility?). We are not God. We are not immortal, and we shouldn't not think too highly of ourselves. We are not able to exist on our own. We exist only in relation to the world around us. Do we relate solely for self, or for others?

Returning to the question: What makes a good man?

I believe that love is the key. Love is not coercive and cannot be forced. When we love, we do not categorize or scream for our right to do something. Rather, we come alongside and submit ourselves to others, realizing that rights are merely a starting point for life. We all inherently know when others have loved us. When we are valued without condition, embraced, and accepted in spite of ourselves. A good person is the one who can take all the negative actions of divisiveness and self-idolatry (our struggle to make our name mean something, often at the expense or comparison of others) and live responsible lives that recognizes others as equally valuable beings.

How many of us ever go to a funeral of someone we have never met or do not know? Is it not easier to claim that people are good if we know them, while it is equally easy to call someone bad or evil because we do not know them personally?

Good is contextual. It ultimately stems from knowing someone based on what we do know of them. God can call creation good because God knows it. Good men and women are those who seek to know others, and allow themselves to be known.

We are capable of good and bad because we can choose to value others as beloved as we know them more, or we can judge and use others to achieve our own ends.

We are capable of being good because we can choose to love.

Listening, encouraging, bearing with one another, and being present makes a good man. Being present to others in this journey of life, as each individual person wrestles with their own self-idolatry and acceptance of the divine transcendence of a love that has not qualifications for worthiness. Surely it is imperfect, but the good can forgive. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually.

No matter what circumstances happen, because being a good man is vulnerable. Others may reject, betray, or attempt to take advantage of you. People can choose to submit to some other pursuit than love because it appears to benefit them or secure them in a world viewed as hostile or at odds with their self-identity. Rather than releasing the struggle into mutual embrace, they strive to clamber over others into a position that calms their anxiety with an ignorance or outright disdain for others who are in their way.

For the good man, vulnerability in the face of such rejection is acceptable. Like the author of Ecclesiastes, the good (or perhaps now we tread into language of the wise), the recognize those self-interested pursuits as fleeting and ultimately meaningless. Not that the good person hasn't also pursued meaningless pursuits, but rather they have learned to release them for the common, unconditional love of this fragile, finite, sacred, and beautiful thing called life. A good person can accept suffering, pain, joy, and prosperity equally well because they know that none of it changes the inherent value and worth of the individual.

A good man is one who lives in a way that seeks to know and love those around him. Everyone is capable of choosing to live this way, in ever single moment.We end at the now. Each of us has exactly, and only, the present moment to choose to act in love or if we choose self-idolatry. None of us can make others view us as good or loving by trying to meet our own prosperity. Other see us as good, just as we see others as good, if we love and value them.

If a Speaker for the Dead shows up in the next moment for you, because this moment is your last moment, what will that person piece together out of your actions? An idolatrous pursuit of self, or a loving acceptance of interconnected life?

My final answer, stripped down to a minimum of words, to the question: What makes a good man?

Love makes a good man.

Mind Dump of the Day

2014-11-13T11:46:00.000-08:00

(I apologize if this doesn't seem to make sense - it's a mind dump. It's all I can do.)

So life hasn't been kind the past couple of years. It's been like a slow process of peeling off a band aid. Not done quickly, but slowly with each hair follicle pulling just enough to bring forth the pain receptors before slowly releasing. Expectation by expectation peeled away.

Career. Calling. Relationships. Community.

I'm not complaining. I find solace in the existential realities that life is filled with not only joy but suffering. Pain, betrayal, hurt are just as clearly markers of a life actually lived than joy, exhilaration, and love. At least I have not sat back and just allowed life in front of a screen to numb me into a delusional state of consumerism...neither fully alive nor despairing. Rather, I have loved. Loved enough to realize that I not only theoretically believed in love, but truly existentially lived it out. A love that understands vulnerability and loss in the pain of rejection. Yet a love that does genuinely, deep down, defy condition. Even if it unilateral.

To have communities reject you because of non-linear life experience while at the same time respecting that experience enough to use for gain, just not for full-time work. To be respected at a distance but not embraced in the inner circle of a common mission or goal. To have belief and learning reduced to litmus tests that reject the learning as steps away from 'faith' which in reality is nothing more than toeing the party line of a particular, conditional statement of so-called essential beliefs. Yet when pressed, these constructs can be broken down. But asking the question, disagreeing with the premise due to knowing in part (of all parties), extends a forearm to the chest like a running back deflecting a safety.

I desire community that includes simply because people are beloved, yet to see group after group place self-limiting restraints on just this idea because of practical, fundamental, or ideological constraints. Self-interest striking again to the core of each and every community...the need to survive in this Darwinian culture we call the free-market. After all, the bills have to be paid.

I want to keep the idea alive that there is another way than selling our souls for a paycheck and ten-hour days hunched over a keyboard in the illuminated hell of cubicles. After all, they tell you that you have to get by. Those closest telling you to settle, to just get a job, to stop being such an idealist. Just get a job and work hard. Only to finally do so in hopes of moving forward and then to be told that love isn't enough. That people and goals change.

Now left to drift through the ether between arbitrary communities, each staking conditional claims of identity.

Always conditions: Politics, ideology, theology, dogma, or lifestyle, God forbid there be any community to be found which transcends these boundaries of affinity. Always self-interested, they each create a sour taste which being an outsider, I cannot faithfully choose to swallow.

Which leaves me where, exactly?

Alone, for one. Without feeling like I can express my ideas, my thoughts, clearly or openly in the knowledge that doing so will only further sever the ties with a prior way of thinking which is way too prevalent. Where is the dialogue, the community around which ideas are discussed, exchanged, sharpened, and collaborated for the common good. The community which can accept each and every person, each story, as sacred.

America currently cuts off, divides, and casts aside those that cannot further growth. Just want to take care of each other, bear their burdens, and listen - you can forget about it.

I want to belong with the rest who do not belong. I am not cool, hip, in. I don't want to be. I want to be who I am, and let others be who they are. I want to continue to love, letting this unconditional love guide my actions and embracing each and every person who comes to see the margins, the loss of status, as the beginning of genuine life. I still believe there is another way, and it does not need to establish its existence financially first in order to create boundaries of in or out. If you want to belong, you belong. That's it.

How does my personal life start with being cast aside and end in desiring a group of unconditional love?

Because I want to tell my story and to hear others' stories. I want to love each person and their unique, sacred story.

I want to live authentically. So I'm in the margins, but I'm looking for those who are also wanting someone who will listen. Someone who will help another person move, without it being an inconvenience to their precious time. People who will grab coffee with to discuss a book, movie, or current event. Even more importantly, those who will discuss their real, gritty life. Those who recognize the lie of earning worthiness that our culture pervades, and give, generously and lovingly, without precondition. In fact, people who actually take unconditional love seriously as an idea and want to live it out.

This is all I have left. Truly, everything else has been stripped away. But it isn't a downer, it is a realization that unconditional love exists but it is a hard step for any of us to take...when the numbing effects of security, safety, money, or majority keep us glued to seats, to screens, and to a fear of death which prevents vulnerability or the ability to fully live.

What law is your circumcision?

2014-11-12T08:47:00.001-08:00

Once again I testify to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obliged to obey the entire law. You who want to be justified by the law have cut yourselves off from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit, by faith, we eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything; the only thing that counts is faith working through love. -Galatians 5:3-6 (NRSV, emphasis mine)

A simple, practical pondering for today:

What law is your circumcision?

The text above is relatively clear cut as Paul writes the letter to the church in Galatians. There are those who have been requiring Gentiles to fulfill the letter of the Jewish Torah, as Christianity grows out of Judaism at the time. It's likely well meaning piety, a way forward in the faith of following Jesus. Those Jews who have the history of being separate from Gentiles are holding to rules of purification and obedience in their continued practice of faith, now found in Jesus.

Yet Paul seems to be striking right at the heart of reducing Jesus into obedience to the Law. The entire book leads to removing the boundaries of Jews and Gentiles, pious and sinner. Paul in no way suggests that one way is wrong and the other is right, but that such a reduction in and of itself is a false worldview. It is a transcendence, not a shifting to a new set of laws, no matter how much they may seem to be in line with the historical law of Jesus. Such a reliance upon obedience to the law (no matter what the subject matter of the law is) is a step away from grace.

Grace that resides without condition.

Having faith is not believing specific laws or adhering to particular ways of life. The only thing that counts is faith working through love.

Stop for just one minute and take this to heart. Don't look at any other person, but just reflect internally. What law, what mandate, have you made circumcision? Do you have conditions you place upon others receiving grace that is more than having faith in Christ Jesus? It could be anything...literally any law from the Old Testament. A law that has been fulfilled in Jesus and which gives freedom, but as Paul states is not for "self-indulgence." The freedom we find in Christ is not to judge others and hold them to a standard we already feel we have obtained. It is to eagerly await the hope of righteousness that comes through grace, not law.

Our hope is not in obeying the law.

Our hope is found in grace. A faith that frees us from condemnation & judgment to a faith that works through love.

There is no law that can be placed as a condition of following Jesus.

None.

Instead, we are to live love out faithfully. Love in the fact that grace makes us righteous. Live not for our own rights, our own flesh, but for the Spirit.

Exactly as Paul leads the readers of his letter to follow not the way of the flesh, but the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A kind of responsibility to self, God, and others to bear with them, not weigh them down with laws.

If our witness to the world is a law - a vocal and often violent measure of some level of piety that measures ones obedience to God, it is misplaced and actually unfaithful.

We are to love. We are to bear with each other, guiding and loving in all gentleness our transgressions which are relational and convenantal, not contractual and law-based.

Any concrete law is a stumbling block that is misguided. Yes, that means most of what we fight over in culture wars in this country is misguided.

If your answer to following Jesus obediently is to create a law, then something is wrong.

The answer to following Jesus faithfully is to love. To test ourselves that we are acting faithfully in love.

Paul makes that pretty clear. And truth be told we all want to reduce the complexities of the fruit of the Spirit into some sort of law. Some sort of step-by-step guide that tells us how far we should go in any given situation rather than discerning how to relate with the gentleness. After all, we all are in the same boat. All of us are reliant upon grace. Without condition.

So ask yourself, as I ask myself:

What law is your circumcision?

How can you change this law into faith working through love?

Peacemaking with Myself.

2014-09-03T10:14:00.005-07:00

It's ironic. I get in my own way. The very deepest longings of my heart and the values that I hold most dear are the very things that continue to elude me. The irony is that it seems like they keep slipping away because I attempt to live out these very values and so limit myself.

Take, for instance, peacemaking and conflict resolution. I know, deep down, that I am a peacemaker. One that values unity and looks for understanding the many sides of any given situation. I would rather limit my voice and opinion on matters in circumstances where I know they are not heard or engaged in thoughtful dialogue. It often means I do not speak my mind except around the few close friends who I know understand me. Who actually listen. Most do not.

Social media estranges as television enrages. Those who scream the loudest, speak with insipid stupidity, or reduce complex realities into catchy dualisms or lists of 3 get all the attention. Yet none of these instances contain any genuine peacemaking or coming together, or even of the nuanced truth of the matter. Underlying all the talk is the insistence on accepting an ideology or system of belief.

Some groups fight competing groups while some ignore. Some individuals place their ideals in a light which seem attractive yet which still ultimately requires absolute agreement or implicit adherence. Genuine negotiation and peacemaking in the face of equally compelling and arbitrary arguments is exceedingly unvalued.

Returning to my desire for peacemaking, this current climate alienates me. I dare not speak my mind lest it drive others away and flame the fires of judgment. Yet in not speaking up, I am cast aside with just as much force as if I had spoken up. I do not want to speak negatively of the people I know who genuinely care yet belong or believe to something I cannot. I desire only to speak positively of the existentially authentic and faithful way of life and virtue I hold dearly. Yet both ultimately are two sides to the same coin, are they not?

My opinions, my values, my contextual understandings of peacemaking, or love, doubt, faith, nature, humanity, joy, absurdity, anxiety, kindness, responsibility, courtesy, and any number of other beliefs or virtues swirl incessantly within me, at odds with my very self. Unable to experience the very things my heart desires because it is not a shared experience. Everything that I have valued and pursued in my life, every calling, love, or virtue, has refused to accept and include me. Everything I thought I was serving has not allowed me to continue to serve in the ways I know I am meant to live.

Is being cast aside any different than cutting oneself off? Must I compromise and join an arbitrary group just to feel accepted, even if deep down there is an opinion or belief which if expressed will remove my inclusion in the group? (Truly, I have yet to 'belong' to any community, company, or group where this is not exactly what has happened...and often over the most trivial of topics.)

It is ironic that I long for community, for acceptance, for existential authenticity, for being there for each other, for love, and yet in my pursuit of experiencing this in my life I find myself as isolated and cut off from others that I have ever been. Is this a wilderness experience? If so, 40 days would have been a blessing. The stripping away of my expectations, callings, and desires now stretches into years, of constant stripping away of expectations and of those who do not listen or empathize without unconsciously requiring an acceptance of the beliefs which I do not, and cannot, honestly hold. But they are not to blame. Their lives are their sacred story, and most mean well even if the framework and outlook on life is incompatibly unable to accept mine.

These words are perhaps ambiguous or confusing. They may seem to beat around the bush without naming certain offenses or offenders. That is because I do not truly value them as offenses or offenders. It is simply reality. A world filled with people seeking to live out their lives in self-affirmation to themselves, others, and the world around them. As the dew on the grass, or a mist in the air, each life is fleeting and short.

Every story is sacred, and each journey is valuable.

I want to know people. To value their stories and revel in the sacredness of their life and learned knowledge and wisdom. And to have this reciprocated with me.

Such is the irony of life (or is it the absurdity of it?) that as I pursue such community I only become more excluded. I need to get out of my own way. Perhaps I need to begin to speak my mind and not be so concerned with peacemaking that I cannot state my beliefs, my values, my outlook on life in such a way as to be recognized for the outsider I have so obviously become. It is just hard for me to do, because I am a peacemaker who desires unity, self-limiting, and conflict resolution.

I suppose there is the time and place to create the conflict so that it can be resolved?

Such is my resolve now, to strip away the ambiguity which I know I exhibit and begin to express what I believe with more clarity. God knows, it isn't like I can be any more marginalized than I already am.

Can I make peace with myself?

Can I allow myself to state unequivocally what I believe, who I am, and acknowledge that this separates myself from those who unequivocally believe differently?

Can I resolve the conflict in myself so that I can return to that public space of knowing others and remain a peacemaker?

Can I recount my sacred story?

all consuming = all disgusting

2014-08-21T14:23:00.002-07:00

cast off.

discarded.

used to achieve the consumption you desired and then shoved away into the gutters. undesired and unwanted once broken.

readily consumed in the name of america. an unseemly glance under interstate overpasses reveals the undesired supposedly irresponsible laziness of others. efforts abound to remove such waste from the public sight.

ignored.

worse, given token credit to past actions without thought as to the cost of the wreckage caused. perhaps pitied. maybe scorned. definitely condescended. shoved into ghettos and run-down trailer parks. segregated by perceived usefulness and false classifications of value.

the machinations of consumerism inevitably result in such dilapidation. used up and discarded. means to an end. buttresses of naive self-esteem and self-interest. eagerly hurrahing the new batch while sheepishly looking away from the last years now-broken model.

recycling and reintegration into the very system that caused the damage is the only effort. when solutions seem to be fleeting and discomfort persists it becomes unfathomable to think the problem has anything to do with the system and must be a faulty part.

loyalty demanded to brands, to patriotism, to getting with the program. to the machine of unending appetite. never satisfied.

more. more. more.

never enough.

yet producing ever more waste, heartache, anxiety, and destruction.

the madness must stop.

trash extends well beyond hamburger wrappers, plastic bags, broken tech, and spoiled vegetables.

a society that creates and discards its own broken citizens is what we have become. young, old, veterans, poor, educated, victims, outsiders, doubters. cast aside in favor of the next new, shiny, viral fad.

can we not see our complicity?

can we not rage against the machine?

can we not stop producing and consuming?

can we not love?

Christian: religious adjectives instead of relating nouns.

2014-04-02T09:09:00.001-07:00

Let's try this again - posting thoughts via cell phone has issues: this is not near all the thoughts I have on this topic, but it'll have to do.
-----
If Christianity is a relationship, not a religion, as is often stated, then how are all the debates, statements, and fighting in America these days all over adjectival use of Christian? Can a institution, business, law, or worldview, can somehow be relational, a person? It's all religion. You don't have a relationship with the corporation or government you work for. You can't relate to possessions or laws. (Actually attempting this is called idolatry throughout the Bible, is it not?)

Oh, and an adjective also always describes a noun, which means it actually gives precedence to the noun. Thus, if following Jesus is relational it cannot give precedence to any other thing: nation, business, law, ethical code, or dare I say even church (used institutionally, not as an ekklesia of a group of self identifying followers of Jesus).

The noun uses of Christian are relational, and are not really debatable. It's a self acknowledgement of Jesus as Lord, both individually and collectively. It's the creator, the law giver, the bride or groom, the father or mother, the enemy, the least of these that we relate to. I believe in the person of Jesus Christ, in Him my faith lies. It most definitely does not lie in the fallible formulations of mankind's attempts to bound the limits of a person into a thing. I am not so easily described or bound, I must be known, I must be loved. How can we even think of reducing God to attributes or litmus test statements on current political circumstances?

We simply need to get back to living relationally, describing what our relationship Jesus looks like to us in our humble context, and stop fighting religiously, somehow thinking we can preserve some form of worldview, culture, nation, interpretive key, or society that in reality is a facsimile of genuine relationship. It's hypocrisy to claim Christianity is a relationship but then engage in wholly religious ways.

In other words, if we focus on the noun(s), we don't ever need to fight over adjectives.

My 25: 2014 Resolutions

2013-12-31T12:26:00.001-08:00

'Invigorate' is my theme.

1. Bring life into interactions and circumstances.

2. Smile more.

3. Seek understanding. Move beyond dualistic thinking.

4. When out and about, be like a dog on a walk.

5. Listen. Connect. Encourage. Give.

6. Love my wife better. Mutually grow our marriage.

7. Don't imitate. Be transformed.

8. Appreciate the arts.

9. Get out more.

10. Be brought to both silence and song in nature.

11. Encourage.

12. Advocate justice and the greater good.

13. Do what's right, not what's economical.

14. Eat better. Live healthier.

15. Live simply.

16. Live contextually.

17. Get out more. Leave no trace

18. Let story move me, and appreciate others for how story moves them.

19. Hope, not express naive optimism.

20. Be slow to be slighted. Forgive.

21. Unite in the midst of appreciating diversity. We aren't all going to agree.

22. Humbly expect growth in myself. Discern and encourage growth in others. (Growth cannot be forced or manipulated. God grows.)

23. Let God be God. Love Him.

24. Let others be themselves. Love them.

25. Be life-affirming and life-giving.

when we

2013-11-16T17:57:00.001-08:00

when rejected, we reject.
when struck, we strike back.
when accused, we defend to the death.
when wronged, we wrong.
when yelled at, we yell louder.
when ignored, we ignore.
when marginalized, we isolate.
when ridiculed, we justify.
when called out, we rationalize.
when starved, we steal.
when disrespected, we disrespect.
when attacked, we plot revenge.
when sinned against, we sin against.
when pushed down, we dominate.
when threatened, we fight or flight.
when confronted with change, we blame.
when pride takes a hit, we lie, compare, or demean.
when spoken against, we speak folly.

when loved, we love.

the latter always should be the response for all the former.
if not, nothing matters.

Respect the Shut Down of National Parks.

2013-10-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've seen a lot of comments in social media and park news sites having to do with how silly it is that the government can shut down nature with the closing of the National parks, of how does the government think it can close an entire mountain (it's nature, after all, here long before the US was a Nation)...and honestly those comments are reductionistic and selfish.

The reality is that the park system was established to preserve and protect these treasures because WE THE PEOPLE were not doing a good job of doing this without management. Places like Yellowstone and Petrified Forest were having its resources looted, whether just piece-by-piece for souvenirs or those doing a whole lot more. Species became endangered through our actions. Vandalism, poaching, and unregulated human use trashed whole areas of these natural wonders. Its why President Teddy Trails have to be maintained when millions of people walk the same small length of nature in viewing the Grand Canyon. Buildings & Battlefields of importance in American History are preserved. The National Parks are America's Best Idea which most other nations in the world are trying to emulate (an area we are actually exceptional or genuinely a world-leader!).

Petrified Wood which remains in the park.

Would unregulated nature perhaps be OK if everyone was responsible and lived by the Leave No Trace mantra of those who are outdoors enthusiast? Perhaps. But here's the fact - We Don't. We have proven that time and again. Even recently people are carving their names in rocks covered in ancient petroglyphs, chipping initials & hearts into the wood of sequoias or redwood trees, actually tagging Saguaro cacti with graffiti in the middle of the National Park near Tucson. Zion National Park until recently saw tons of traffic jams because there is one road in and out, so they recognized and implemented a shuttle system to improve the ability to enjoy Nature. These are just off the top of my head, and I am sure there are many more examples. Go look at our history of park overuse and abuse. My point is merely that those natural places which exist and grab our hearts and minds and become the destinations for millions of people annually in their pilgrimages, road trips, and recreational weekends MUST be managed to ensure this visitation and use do not destroy the very thing that is coming to be enjoyed. This was something that was seen during the exploration and expansion of the Western United States in the 19th century and into the industrialization of the early 20th century, leading American leaders, from President Benjamin Harrison through President Theodore Roosevelt to begin to protect, preserve, and manage these sites.

The nature found within National Park Boundaries are natural and cultural treasures which millions of people per year visit, and to which millions of more in future generations have every RIGHT to visit as well. Without protection, these lands were encroached upon by development and industry. With protection nature has an advocate. This is the point of the National Park Service, from visitation to preservation and conservation. Species of plants and animals to be studied and habitats preserved (no one really cheers for the extinction of a species).

For those who think that its ridiculous to shut down a piece of nature, and that they should be able to visit it if they want...just remember the world doesn't revolve around you. It revolves around the sheer number of people who want to visit these treasures, and that this requires management of the resources and access. The park service actually exists because it recognizes the rights of people to enjoy the places it protects. It knows you have the right to visit them, longs for you to visit, wants to educate and enhance the visit as best they can, but so do future generations. Lets not get entitled and forget that yes, there are reasons why there is government control. If its not Federal, its State. If not State, its County or City parks. Spaces where people gather or go to in nature must be regulated, as we humans have shown that without it we pretty much can destroy anything out of not thinking through our actions. Many of us respect nature and do our best to leave no trace, many have no regard to do so, and many others of us simply are unaware of how our actions actually impact the environment.

The point is that in a society that allows people to buy land, build, mine, forest, or otherwise utilize the natural resources as if they own it and profit off of it, then the park system is the only thing protecting the people from losing access and possession of the parks. When the unfortunate political reality leaks over into our access to the parks, it is not because government is too big (in this particular case!). Rather, its just unfortunate that what really is dividing the country can impact one of the few ideas which actually unites and celebrates who we are as a nation. Instead of just clamoring how stupid it is that the government thinks it can stop you from visiting a canyon, mountain, or seashore, remember that those ideas are the very reason the park service is needed to protect these treasures for all humanity! Instead of declaring you want to see them stop you from visiting, take that energy and put it towards influencing government officials to actually do their job.

We can all use a little more unity these days.

Among the Forgotten

2013-09-26T12:28:00.003-07:00

The world spins on.

The narrative, rather the delusion, presented is filled with images of material success, career excellence, and egotism.

Do what you love. Make a name for yourself. Earn a voice, a place at the table, a legacy, and then you'll matter.

Cloaked in truth, surely. Yet remains the misguided notions of a society which casts off more people than make it.

Unfortunately, there are many who have lived and worked and fought and served that have been cast aside.

Cast aside like late-model cell phones. Discarded without a second thought as to why they have become unnecessary. Viewed as obsolete, not functional, or uncool.

Many look at the calls of society and rage against the machine. Others see those raging and dismiss it as an unjust feeling of entitlement.

Does either view provide hope?

I have watched many sacrifice family, life, limb, and self in the service of society, or self, only to be let down, discarded, and unsupported.

Sleep deprived nights strike my soul when I sit by those I know who are being ignored and dismissed, unable to think of anything that I can do than to sit there, listen, talk, and commiserate with them. I want nothing more than to help them know they are not alone.

I have personally felt the betrayal of many who claim that their views, their way of life, their supported
ideology, religion, or system, will benefit the world only to experience hypocrisy. Hypocrisy that their ideals are solely rooted in self-interest. A blind eye will be turned to actions which may be detrimental or even contradictory with their so-called beliefs that self-preservation precludes justice and trust. Their system, their view, cannot hold any doubt and they cannot be wrong.

I have been left to journey on my own. (At times)

So I have been forgotten. Cast aside not in rejection but indifference.

I know many others have experienced this as well.

Those who have served their nation, only to be discharged and unable to integrate into society due to medical or vocational circumstances.

Those cut off from fellowship because they are do not belong as they have questions about the statements and beliefs presented as indisputable facts. You can disagree, but you won't belong.

Those who struggle with themselves and know it. Yet cannot open up because of a world that will turn on weakness and shame it, exploit it, and humiliate it.

Those who have experienced no help except those that come attached with an agenda. So they withdraw into their own lives, certain that they can trust no one.

These are the forgotten.

I am among them.

I struggle to connect with others yet I long for the hope I see of a life filled with value and meaning simple because of life together.

A life lived in love which knows we are all we are, and yet that only outside of ourselves can we be saved. We cannot earn it. And any notion of value consisting in our being a "productive member of society" is a joke, a cruel delusion which only serves to separate the haves from the have-nots.

When will we learn there is only us?

When will we live like we are not better than others, but also that others are not better than us?

When will we remove stumbling blocks the stumbling blocks of achievement?

When will we walk away from our accusations on others when we hear the wisdom of "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

When will we stop forgetting about people?

I belong with the forgotten, not the achieved. I desire a life of abundant life which only begins when I die to myself, my will's ambitions and expectations, and learn to live content with the daily provisions of my God and rejoicing in the presence of each other.

I belong to those who long to be known, to be listened to, cried with, and suffered alongside.

I belong to those who realize there is nothing to which they can strive harder to earn value or worth.

I belong to those who have nowhere else to go, nothing to hide, and nothing else to lose.

I belong to the forgotten.

I belong to grace.

I belong to Jesus.

Jesus who was not the creator of a new system of righteousness, but of grace.

Jesus who rooted all justice in love.

Jesus who reached the lost, the broken, the sick, and all who would listen to a way to abundant life that could not be earned but accepted.

Jesus is for you. He loves you.

Jesus is for every one of us. He loves each of us. He even loves those of us who aren't yet sure if we believe in Him, or those who don't know Him, or perhaps even have rejected a version of Him presented by those who would shackle us with systems of shame and legalism.

We don't earn it. We can't build upon it or improve it. We accept it by faith. Then we live together with him and each other.

No one is forgotten.

The economy of grace isn't growth and greed, but enough.

We are enough. We simply have to start living for enough, not more.

In needing more, we forget and exclude to gain. In being enough, we belong.

I am sorry for any that I have forgotten.

To the forgotten, I belong with you.

May the forgotten gather together, be enough, and belong.

I'll stand with you. I'll listen to you.

In fact, I'm looking for you. I want to journey with you. I want to live, listen, laugh, cry, question, learn, grow, mourn, discuss, disagree, hope, suffer, rejoice, and wander with you.

No one is forgotten.

--
(Seriously - if anyone is interested in belonging to a community committed to this, contact me!)

Logs In Our Eyes: Jesus' Call to Move From Detached Judgment to Passionate Engagement

2013-08-24T11:56:00.002-07:00

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye. -Matthew 7:3-5 (ESV)

Lets start with what this verse is not about. It is not about making sure you are the great arbiter of what is and what is not moral. It is not about arriving at the redeemed state, the perfect state, of yourself and then proclaiming judgment on others to fix themselves. After all, if you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and did it, then surely they can too. This is not the point, nor is it how it actually happens. If we delude ourselves into thinking we "fixed" ourselves through our own hard work then we would actually still be ignoring a log in our own eye!

Rather, if you removed a log from your own eye, you probably had to ask for some help. (Side note - obviously no one gets a "log" literally in one's eye - Jesus is using hyperbole.) I mean, I've gotten an eyelash in my eye before, and my eye watered so much I had to get my wife's help just to see it! Not only was perhaps some help required, the process, pain, and situation which the other person with the speck in their eye would be something that you could aid because you'd been through it yourself. There would be grace, kindness, and compassion in working to help another person with a speck in their eye.

Haughtiness would not be your approach.

Humility would.

We see this in many ways in "real life." That those organizations, people, recovery groups, churches, counselors, and friends which truly help people do not do it through disparaging remarks, a holier-than-thou attitude, or a detached just buck-up and buckle down approach. They are much more relational than that (and yes, once relationship is known, there may be times for a wake-up call, buckle-down and get serious about this issue time). But when one has been through the process, we get how hard it can be. We get how interrelated, difficult, and stubborn our own self is, and thus are able to extend grace in working with others. We don't point the finger at others as having the problem, and if only they could fix themselves to be like "us" then all will be well. Rather, we enter into life with them and love, help, correct, encourage, bear with, and persevere with them through the trials or issues. "They" are not the problem, because it is something "we" have gone through too, and we remember what that was like.

This passage is immediately on the heals of "Judge not, that you be not judged. For the judgment your pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." (Mt 7:1-2, ESV) Judging is pronouncing another guilty, a placing the blame of guilt on someone before others (and God) that is final and divisive.

Guess what, Jesus says something pretty radical. He doesn't get tied up in coming up with the best or fairest way to judge others. Rather, instead of judging, bear with them and help them remove the speck that is noticed. Even before doing this, we have to recognize and work on ourselves. Which requires help. Jesus points beyond judgment based on obedience to objective universal laws. Instead he points to working out the fulfillment of these laws in love, which can only be worked out contextually. Jesus levels the playing field and says that the point is not judgment, but compassion, in working towards the good.

Because good does exist.

There is a right and wrong way of living and acting.

There are specks and logs in life that do get in our eyes.

We are all afflicted by them.

So instead of judging and being a hypocrite (Jesus's words!), we bear with one another and work through life's issues with them. This is not a call to not judge which really is cheap relativism, in that it is impossible to know what is good, loving, or true and so 'to each their own.' Rather, it is passionate engagement with others in working through the trials of life.

It is relational, humbly seeking understanding and involves a ton more time invested in people than simply proclaiming others the evil in the world that needs to change or be eliminated.

We cannot universally proclaim a standard to uphold, which conveniently enough is not what particularly effects us, and then sit back and expect others to adapt or die.

Rather it is a dedicated presence working together contextually.

Loving and bearing with one another.

Remembering the pain and growth which we have come through in our own lives and have seen in other people's lives.

Working together contextually toward the good, the noble, the pure, and the true.

In fact, it is only in these subjective, contextual moments we experience truth.

Not in the abstract, universal, and distanced proclamation of judgment.

But in the subjective, contextual, loving relationship of community.

Only when we realize we all need help removing specks and logs, and we really can't do it alone or without a gentle hand to help. In fact, I might actually need to have the person who I noticed has a speck in their eye help me remove the log in my own. I know I need help in doing it!

May we become better at bearing with one another, and stop wasting time and energy on judging.

Supporting the Idea and Reality of National Parks

2013-08-22T08:24:00.003-07:00

"God never made an ugly landscape. All that the suns shines on is beautiful, so long as it is wild." -John Muir

I love wilderness and public lands. They inspire me, and I know I'm not alone. I believe they are needed for natural, historical, spiritual, and recreational reasons. Yet when economics rules the day in Washington it seems federal lands and National Parks are an easy target for cuts despite their known economic impacts for the regions based on tourism, etc. Instead, it seems that many would rather mine out the resources for a short term gain despite long-term loss. And it would be long term loss. Natural and wild lands don't just pop back up overnight, whether it is the deforestation of the rain forest in South America, pollution along seashores and in marshes, mining and development on or immediately next to National Parks, or even impact on wildlife like use of lead in bullets (while all other lead use has pretty much been phased out due to its known toxicity) leading to the near extinction of California condors (even impacting and killing many a bald eagle - how ironic?). Surely, we can continue to pump millions of dollars into subsidies for oil companies, banks, or defense contractors, but not into National Parks.

California Condor soaring over the Grand Canyon

I don't write too often about so-called political issues but this is one that I value highly because it is not something easily reversed. In fact, this year even visitors to many National Parks or Monuments faced closed features or lack of resources due to sequestration cuts. There is little that is so clearly proven that draws visitors and supports or expands business in their regions. But don't take my word for it: check out this report.

The infographic below was also interesting and shows just what the National Park Service is facing financially these days. All I know is that I truly hope we as Americans are smart enough to give space (wonderful, plentiful space) to our natural and historical treasures to ensure that generations upon generations may appreciate them in just the same manner.

Zion, Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Grand Tetons, Mesa Verde, Yellowstone, Bryce Canyon, Rocky Mountain, Great Smoky Mountains, Gettysburg, Manzanar, Grand Staircase-Escalante, Carlsbad Caverns, Vermillion Cliffs, and more are some of the parks and monuments I've already been fortunate enough to see which inspire and rejuvenate. All of these must be preserved for future generations, without having to deal with further air, water, light, or noise pollution. The crowds and impacts in the region must be managed in a way that prevents destruction or degradation at the park while maximizing the benefit for those visiting and using. This balance requires funding - but it is a funding that is America's Best Idea.

Freeing or Freezing: Do We Embrace the Spirit's work?

2013-08-05T12:08:00.003-07:00

"Denominations are movements of the Holy Spirit, frozen in time." - Pastor Steve Metro

There is a ton of truth in this statement by my close friend and pastor Steve. Yet, it seems like we can't help ourselves from attempting to solidify these movements of the spirit into an universally-applied model of institution. Even now, with the influx of non-denominational churches, is that instead of a denomination being solidified its the franchising and branding of the a church that becomes a sort of model for application everywhere.

First, it was church planting movements that had a specific structure. Then came multi-site churches utilizing the same name but having different pastors and staff. Next were the mergers between churches to grow and adapt the platform for speakers. Now, we even see satellite, multi-site, churches springing up between cities such as Saddleback, Mars Hill, and others which normally pipe a video feed of a central speaker to locations around the nation (or world!).

It seems like these non-denominational churches felt the movement to leave behind restrictions of certain denominations, and then continue to have to grow to the point of becoming their own denomination, or franchise, in order to face the challenges and issues they face. Some, like Mars Hill, don't even really try to deny that is what they are doing, nor are their intentions particularly wrong. Institutions are not particularly bad in and of themselves.

Yet the pattern of new movements growing and becoming entrenched into an institution is a fact seen throughout history. Some can stand the test of time, others dwindle into oblivion, change transforms and rejuvenates others, while new and fresh experiences sprout up. My question is this:

Why do we feel like each new and fresh experience, occurring quite contextually and subjectively, must be solidified or universalized for application in all circumstances and situations?

Why is it that we tend to make this experience normative, and thus speak against the other movements, leading us to split after split after heresy accusation after forming of lengthier, weightier statements of faith?

A couple of years ago I worked for the Luis Palau Association as they came to Phoenix to mobilize churches in a Season of Service and put on a festival - Arizona CityFest. During this time, We were to attempt to connect with every single church in Maricopa County, which numbered just over 2,000. This was a fluid number, with new plants happening nearly weekly, and a similar number of churches failing and ceasing to be. These churches ranged from house churches of roughly 4-10 members to large mega-churches of over 17,000 regular attendees. What was interesting was that within each of them you found many people dedicated to faithfully serving Christ and attempting to be oriented on the positive, unifying, and loving aspects of the church. Such an attitude exists. In other words, God is there, active and working.

Arizona CityFest 2011 from Silas Kyler on Vimeo.

But within many churches, however, there was also a skepticism or negativity which pervaded their personalities as individuals as well as communities. I had churches refuse to participate because we did not limit our event to only a particular type of "bible-believing" church which really meant they felt that only one understanding of theology, theirs, were going to be saved. Some were convicted enough to flat out say it. Other churches had the desire to participate, but only on their terms which usually meant passing out tracts or a form of evangelism during service projects which placed an agenda on loving your neighbor, something we were not willing to let happen (particularly in bringing together multiple churches and denominations, it would flat-out be rude or insulting to the others). Other churches simply rejected the idea of "mass-evangelism" or "social justice" and would not join with others. And yes, some churches had legitimate concerns and were unable to participate on valid reasons. Yet, for many, it was very discouraging to see the Gospel of grace, peace, salvation - the Gospel of Jesus Christ - get lost for the sake of a frozen, true and only church, mentality.

I may not agree (OK- I don't agree) theologically with strongly five-point Calvinistic churches. My faith and journey with God has lead me to a place much more in line with certain Wesleyan (and even Lutheran in certain ways) concepts of theology, even though I'm fairly strongly non-denominational (with an emerging church tinge). That doesn't mean I don't love, respect, and work together with those who are more Reformed. Quite the contrary! There is a lot that can be learned from them, in their fresh and continually adapting experiences with God. Ditto for those from more liturgical, mainline denominations. I know it is possible because I experienced it first-hand at Fuller Seminary, with leaders in training discussing, growing, learning, and loving each other and God more in the midst of being challenged by other strains of the faith.

I'm convinced that God is bigger than having to attempt to correctly identify and join the one particular strand of over 41,000 registered denominations worldwide. (Here are just some of them courtesy of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary)

Why do we believe, like the picture above, that somehow we've gotten things so correct that we become the only expression that matters? Can we collaborate across these lines? Can we worship or serve together?

Can we respect and love other communities, in their infinitely unique expressions of their faith?

Yes, we can.

We already do!

It is already happening. During the Arizona CityFest and Season of Service over 560 churches came together in hundreds of events and impacted thousands of lives. I know of many stories exemplifying just this sort of faithful service of a God not constrained by our boxes, found throughout history in pursuing all humanity and expressing himself in ways unique, applicable, and consistent with his will and purposes for the world.

Let's stop trying to universalize an institutional model of the church which takes time, energy, and focus away from the transforming work of a loving God, and instead simply focus on faithfully serving in that mission.

Let's recognize that Christianity, and God, has always allowed for a variety of emphases, but only one Lord. Like Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 3, we need to remove jealousy and strife from our midst and quite thinking in such frozen terms like "of Paul," "of Apollos," "of Luther," "of Calvin," "of Billy Graham," or "of Rob Bell" and just get back to being "of Christ." All others are mere men.

We are mere men and women, with tendencies often too connected to the world's ways in which we attempt to compete in power struggles, culture wars, and self-justifications. Such rationalizations lead to fighting to preserve a man-made institution rather than embracing the ways God has worked within those churches while simultaneously working in new and fresh ways.

After all, our call is to love God and love our neighbor. This leads us to die to self and live for Christ, or to allow our will to be transformed and guided by the will of God. The Holy Spirit is at work. It is happening, and history demonstrates this tapestry of redemption. The questions now become:

Am I living faithfully before my God in the context in which I live?

Am I bearing witness to Christ and making disciples by providing space to encounter the living God?

Am I loving others and encountering them in our context in a journey of faithfulness and obedience to God, and encouraging and bearing with them rather than judging or condemning them?

I believe that we should embrace the contextual, ever-present, historical, and fresh work of the Spirit in all its forms. In doing this, the church becomes a unifying and edifying force, not a schismatic one.

Freeing. Not freezing. That is what is needed.

Where else in this world are you going to see the movement towards peace in the midst of conflict and differing opinion?

beyond the arbitrary boundary

2013-07-20T11:07:00.003-07:00

the discouraged. disenfranchised. discontent. hopeful. misfits. outcasts. pilgrims. aliens. marginalized.

perhaps it is not to our purpose to create a group incorporating the lost into a single arbitrary gaggle among many other groups, resulting in equally casting off, discouraging, and disenfranchising others.

perhaps we are to realize unity among the cast offs, the space between groups clustered at the edge of the abyss.

are not the groups arbitrary, with some underlying sense of equality or some reality, yet simultaneously cover up, gloss over, seek affinity, or outright deny?

the marginalized belong to no singular group. they're scattered and often isolated.

can we find community and love in the abyss, outside of the strict systems which inherently create an us and them?

or perhaps its only to belong to them. any us which gains power must lift up over the other, fight for control, a voice, or power. only the them are outside creating violence, and only if they respond to love and not fear.

is there nothing which catches those who've tumbled out of a huddled community, whether pushed or voluntarily leaping out?

as we each slip into the abyss can we not find the hope and faith existent in the commonality of each person's journey of self-discovery.

a discovery which is incomplete without others and an acceptance of finitude.

is this not the role of the church if we can strip it of its modern and post-modern cultural mispackaging?

remove the slick performances, the ideas of competitive excellence, and the high-school notions of relevance and coolness.

strike down the institution and recapture the people.

return to the table of shed blood and broken body.

a table marked by people of humble loss, led by a messiah marked by loss and love.

an open table offering a feast, but only if we join with others.

a person, among other people, embracing each journey in love, following an incarnational god who shares our experiences.

a feast which those with invitations are too busy to attend.

a feast forgotten by the doers.

a feast joined by the marginalized, discouraged, misfits, and hopeful.

cast aside by society, but open to response.

willing to encounter each other in the expanse of life in the abyss.

hopefully waiting and creating, joining and journeying.

in other words, living a faithful life.

The Mysterious Moving Water Bowl

2013-07-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

It moved.

Again.

I distinctly remember filling this bowl with water and placing it at the base of the sink up against the back wall. Now, its sitting two tiles to the right. Still along the back wall, but near the toilet rather than the sink.

That's odd.

A couple of hours later, I walk by the door and the bowl is now sitting directly in front of the toilet. Away from the wall.

It moved.

Later, I notice just a little bit of spilled water but a movement of the bowl just a little closer to the middle of the floor. That evening the bowl sits directly in the center of the doorway to the bathroom.

Strangely, it is always the water bowl moving, and not the food bowl. The food sits in the same spot I put it, half-filled with cat food.

But the water bowl is dynamic. It moves and moves and moves.

What is up with this?

Its got to be Socrates, our cat. It has to be.

Socrates being watch by a lurking Sonora

So the next morning I watch him eat and drink and nothing happens. But later that morning the bowl again has moved. Sometimes its away from the wall, and sometimes its towards it. Thinking that perhaps the back wall and tile is making the water warm as it is along the garage wall, I decide to refill the bowl with cool water and put it in the other corner by the sink furthest from the warm water.

The bowl moved yet again. And again.

This has now been going on for a month.

About a week ago I finally figured out exactly what is happening, although the why is unexplained.

Socrates has been pawing and pushing the bowl while he drinks. He'll take a lap or two of water, look down curiously, then paw the side of the bowl, moving it a couple inches across the floor. After a couple of pushes, he drinks a bit more water, then pushes again.

Its odd. I have no idea why. How did this recent behavior suddenly become the pattern?

What is Socrates trying to accomplish?

Is there something in the bowl he thinks he can get, or that its covering up?

Does it taste strange?

Is he bored and playing a game?

Honestly, I find it hilarious even though its sometimes in inconvenient places for human usage of the toilet. You know, placement of feet and everything.

I wonder why he does it. He has to have a reason...maybe he's deciding he needs to do a little bit of exercise since he sleeps so much. Its funny or curious to an outsider who doesn't know the why behind the action, but yet it must make sense to Socrates. Or perhaps is something subconscious and simply a habit formed for some reason.

Here's the kicker...I bet I have habits that are just like this when viewed by outsiders.

You do too, don't you?

I mean, why do I always put my left sock on before my right sock, followed by my left shoe then my right shoe?

Why do I add cream to my coffee after pouring the coffee into the cup? Amanda does the opposite, putting the cream in first then adding coffee.

Why do I prefer and place toilet paper rolling over the top, while others have it roll underneath?

Why do I always try to read right before bed, if even only for five minutes until my eyes are closing and I can't remember the words on the page? (My answer for this one, I think, is that reading a story helps my mind to relax, de-stress, and prepare for the dream-state.)

Do we do this when we people watch? Picking up the idiosyncrasies and habits of others and sometimes laughing, sometimes dubious, but always interested. Would they make more sense if we knew why they did them? Or are we all just obsessive-compulsive in some manner.

Of course I realize that we can psychologically break this down. But that is no fun. Its too serious. Can't we take ourselves a bit lightly and laugh at ourselves?

I think these little habits and ways of doing things are perfect for enlivening our lives. They aren't serious, and getting caught doing something funny usually becomes a joke. Like when someone calls you out on always using a particular word in conversation. Several years ago I had this happen with the word "essentially," after which I caught myself so many times and tried my best to use different words in place of it! It was quite funny for those who were there and had brought that up to my attention.

So can we laugh at ourselves?

Having fun on my brother-in-law's wedding day.

Do we realize that sometimes we have patterns or habits that are funny and odd?

May we take ourselves lightly, realizing sometimes we have a reason for our behavior, sometimes a compulsion or superstition, and other times the habit has no reason or rhyme.

I mean, after all, toilet paper rolls could be fighting words, or they could be hugely hilarious moments that when brought up can bring people together.

Lets laugh at ourselves a bit these days.

Or laugh at Socrates, he can take it.

It makes life better.