Vent your frustration

Man with Hugh Penis Stopped at Airport

2012-07-24T09:15:00.002-07:00

Frustrated with What You Are Born With

Do you ever feel frustrated with whatever you are born with, your physical attributes, deficiencies or sometimes the excessive side of it. I read this news article yesterday from my local Star Newspaper about a man with hugh penis being stopped at airport, so the heading of the article goes.

It must be embarrassing and frustrating experience but apparently, it was not the first time the Jonah Falcon encountered the unpleasant experience. Jonah Falcon, 41 has an organ which is 9.5 inches long when flaccid and 13 inches erect, according to the Rolling Stone magazine as quoted. Jonah was returning to New York from San Francisco on July 9 and was stopped by airport officials when they saw a bulge hanging down over his left upper thigh. “They wanted to know if I had something in my pockets, and when I said no, they asked if I had some sort of growth.” Jonah said. Jonah told them it was his penis, and they checked around his crotch, although not too closely. He was delayed for 5 minutes. It must have been embarrassing.

There are many people born with lots of deformities, sometime beyond our imaginations. The above case is one. When I read this, it brought back memories of my youngest daughter born with serious deformities that I recalled that at that very moment, nothing matters but the very life of the baby is more important. I had to deal with the situation for 10 over years, accepting whatever physically and mental defects and to live to be happy with the situation.

So if you are one who happened to be the unfortunate one, born short of perfection, do not begrudge and frustrated with what you are short off, learn to be happy and accepting what you given to you. An inspiring case is Live Life , you can read the detail by checking this out.

So be happy, and never be always complaining and frustrated about live.

Robin Gibb of Bee Gees Demise

2012-05-22T06:54:00.004-07:00

Passing of my favorite – Robin Gibb of the Legendary Bee Gees

Today, the world over is mourning the loss of yet another legendary singer who brought us so many sweet music and songs of the yesteryear. Robin passed away at the age of 62 losing a battle with the cancer of colon and liver. Bee Gee’s songs are favorites to many, and one of my favorite “Don’t forget to remember” probably rings familiar to many who were teenagers of the 70s, the favorite pop group that fills the dance floor and disco tech with the forever sounds of the Bee Gees disco beat. The Trio had turned disco into a worldwide phenomenon with their disco beat and music, especially disco soundtrack Saturday Night Fever in 1977.

Fans flooded the Twitter over passing of disco music legend headlines a local tabloid. It is a sad year for musical legends, with the recent passing of disco legend Donna Summer’s passing just last week. The Bee Gees had their 1^st hit in 1963 with The Battle of the Blue and Grey.

Some years back, Robin’s brother Maurice had died of similar illness in 2003 and Andy in 1988. Reading in the news about what Robin said to the Tabloid, I can imagine what goes on in Robin’s mind, as it brought back some memories to myself about some frustrations that probably lingers on his mind during his later days.

He said “I sometimes wonder if all the tragedies my families has suffered – like Andy and Maurice dying so young and everything that’s happened to me recently – is a kind of karmic price we are paying for all the fame and fortune we’ve had.” Such are the frustration that people harbor when in sufferings, in hardship or in sickness. I am sure the feelings of why , why me , why does this has to happen to me, keep flashing across his mind.

Some years back, I was in similar situation where within my family under one roof, my family and I had to endure this pain and suffering, of seeing and attending to 2 cases of chronic illness till the end. My youngest daughter was born with a extreme case of spinal bifida, resulting in my daughter bed-ridden, unable to live a normal life. Several years of in and out of hospital is like a chore. As the doctor puts it plainly, it will be like providing and caring for her with all the love we best can and waiting just for the final day to come. Along with this suddenly, my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer. A year of treatment and operations, these 2 added tremendous strains to the family.

When the world collapse in front of you, how would you face it? In the same manner, my mind is full of frustration, starting to blame everything around. Until when I came across a inspirations on strengthening our faith in life that there were so many others in more worst off situation, yet can overcome to emerge victorious in life.

Only in faith that my wife and I find the solace and strength to thread/shoulder on, to give the children and family what is best. Probably like Robin’s mind, it took some time and some soul searching before I accepted that reality and facts, that It is indeed the karmic seeds that I must have sowed in my previous life. It took a long long time to get past the denial stage, to finally accept the reality. Only when I accepted the reality, life takes on a new and different meaning. That everything we hold on to are only transient in nature, and that during our lifetime, we must do all the best that we can to improve the lot of ourselves as well as those others around us. Only through good deeds and actions, we can sow the seeds for our future. And hopefully bring this with us to the next lifetime with positive karmic manifestation.

So in life, I have to take life as it comes, suffer what is there to suffer and enjoy what is there to enjoy. Life is like the 4 seasons, when it comes to extreme cold in the winter, we must be well prepared and persevere and in no time, Spring time will come without fail. So, no matter how bad the situation is, always know better things will follow.

And in life, it is not about the fateful event that happened to you that matters. More importantly, it is how you get on and out of it that matters most. That is standing up again after you have fallen. Let’s embrace life with this philosophy.

Dedicated to the legendary Robin Hugh Gibb – Rest in Peace.

Bee Gees, Robin Gibb, Bee Gees songs, Robin death, Bee Gees Group

Selling Kidney for iphone

2012-04-08T03:48:00.000-07:00

Frustration : Selling your kidney to buy iphone and ipad

What can we do if we are born into a world of sufferings, a world where everything is not right, where making a living is so though.

Today, I came across the news in World News section of the Star that reportedly in Changsha, China, a guy who finds life so tough that he has to sell part of his organ to indulge in the modern amenities – to get an iphone and an ipad.

Penniless and frustrated over gambling debts, he tried to get people to look for buyer for his kidney.5 persons including a surgeon were charged with intentional injury in Chenzhou city in Hunan province.

The defendant had asked another to look for donors through online chat rooms, and then lease an operating room from a local hospital urology department.

The surgeon from a provincial hospital conducted the kidney transplant from the 17 year old high school student to a recipient in April last year. The surgeon received about 220,00 yuan for the operation and he gave 22,000 yuan to the student, and shared the rest with few other medical staff involved in the transplant.

The student now suffers from renal insufficiency and his condition is deteriorating.

So pitiful for this poor boy? But why would this boy do such things. It is something that you and I will not understand, because for some of us, we live world apart from him, driven by different standards and concepts through our own eyes, brought on by our own education, and environment.

This case goes to show that given extreme situation, human will make sacrifices that one cannot imagine. Such situation as I recalled, also happened in India where the majority of the people lives in extreme poverty.

Under such circumstances, the expectations and perceptions we place around us is very much different. Where it seems sub-standard or unacceptable to many others, it would already be considered a luxury in the eyes of this very people.

Let’s hope that we would not be placed in such situation and be so quick as to be judge of the circumstances.

Posted by : Ivan

The Apple Foxconn Controversy

2012-04-05T07:14:00.003-07:00

Justice is done - is this so?

Starbiz 2nd April had a column about a Report from Boao, China as follows;

Foxconn Technology Group in recent report said that it will keep increasing workers salaries in China and cutting work hours according to press statement.

This came about after the company came under fire for poor working conditions for employees making App;le iPhones and iPads.

Apple and Foxconn agreed last week to tackle violations of conditions among the 1.2 million workers assembling iPhones and iPads in a landmark decision that could change the way Western companies do business in China.

According to another Reuters report,
“Foxconn said it would reduce working hours to 49 hours per week, including overtime, while keeping total compensation for workers at its current level. The FLA audit had found that during peak production times, workers in the three factories put in more than 60 hours per week on average.

To compensate for the reduced hours, Foxconn will hire tens of thousands of additional workers. It also said it would build more housing and canteens to accommodate that influx.
Apple CEO Tim Cook, who company critics hoped would usher in a more open, transparent era at Apple after he took over from the late Steve Jobs last year, has shown a willingness to tackle the global criticism head-on.”

The Foxconn Story

When I first heard about this, I checked out this Change.org web-site to try to put in my feeling about this, but could not find the way to lodge my feedback apart from having to sign for the petition. Today, uner 4th April, I see their Headline “How We Won”
Absolutely incredible. After more than a quarter million Apple customers from around the world united their voices and took a stand against one of the most profitable corporations in the world, we've won.
Following investigations by the Fair Labor Association, Apple has vowed to sharply curtail working hours to 49 hours per week and significantly increase wages inside their Chinese plants. The New York Times reports that: "the impact of Foxconn’s hour and wage reforms could signal a new, wide-reaching change in working conditions throughout China."
So thank you to everyone who signed the petition. It just goes to show that together, we can make real change.
Personally, I am not too sure whether this is fair pressure. Being an Asian myself, we are raised to work hard and put in long hours, yet if the working conditions are alright, we are still happy. Now that the West have managed to impose its own work standard on China, this may have long term ramifications.

So you think you understand the Chinese. China has its own problem, a different kind of problem that needs different solution. And you think you can solve China's problem through the Western eyes, drawing on western standards and western concepts.
I suggest you spend some time to listen to this TED Talk : Martin Jacques on Understanding the Rise of China.

Yes, wide-reaching change no doubt, Cost for sure will go up, at the expense of reduce profit. In the longer terms, this will be translated to other cost-cutting measures, or maybe making them less competitive and eventual relocation to other countries. In China, and for that matters many Asian countries, to be employed and earning a living is already a blessing, with so many mouth to feed. It is really not so much the longer hours or even some perceived setbacks that matters to these country folks. In this economies, it is more important to have more hands employed and more mouths fed at may be less favorable terms.

When factories become less competitive, and business goes somewhere else and more workers unable to find job, who then is at the losing end. One cannot impose one’s standard upon others without empathizing the others position.

Wait till the factory starts to close down because Apple moves somewhere else.

When the workers realizes that at the end, they are the ones losing out, people will become more frustrated. So the next time, we want to support a Good Cause, we have to think hard. After all, I am certain that most who supported the cause have not even step foot on China soil.

Frustrations on the Road

2012-03-21T22:07:00.000-07:00

Road Rage on the Road

It is becoming more and more frequent that we encounter road rage reporting when we look at our newspapers headlines today. Traffic is getting worst and more chaotic with reports of ever increasing vehicle sales year on year.

What we see today is that people are taking their cars more to the road than taking public transport. Many reasons contributed to this, the poor state of affairs of the public transport systems, the inadequate planning and provision of public transports as new surburb, towns and cities are emerging.

Traffic jams are inadvertent, and this is not much help by the worsening attitude of the drivers on the road today. Today, we see many blatant disregard of the law, and I just hope the authorities can put all their heads together to work with the all the relevant authority to clamp on this. I still couldn't help reminiscing those moments when I rented a car at a foreign countries where the traffic was not so heavy, where it is the driver have the courtesy to stop and let the pedestrian cross.

How I hope that the school system can incorporate part of this road courtesy campaign as part of the curriculum. Simple concept of good road manners to inculcate from young is important;

a) Never hog a lane. This is probably one of the worst habits on the road that can drives people nut, and probably one big causes of big fights on the road. How stupid is it that one keeps hogging the road, and not switch to inner lane to make way. Some smart Alec argue that since he is driving within speed limit, it is fine. Need to knock some sense into such heads.

b) Give in to others to switch into your lane, especially those that have their indicator light turned on. Today's road traffic is chaotic, and many places, we see multiple lanes squeezing into few. In many instances, it is such situation that force the driver to come into your lane. How frequent I witness that the driver would not bulge but keeping close to prevent the car from coming in. In my years of driving, I have witness a case when both parties tried to move, and ended up scratching the incoming car. What happened next was 2 young men got down the car, brandishing a stick to hit the other car driver. Road bully as the newspaper would report such thing. If you do not want this to happen to you, be courteous.

c) Swerving abruptly into another lane is one act that will make the other driver very angry. This will definitely get the driver screaming and cursing the incoming car. A worst scenario is that the driver behind will then flashes the light and tail gate the car to show his displeasure.

d) Tail gating is sure one act that is very dangerous and many a times get both drivers into arguments and fights. While most driver will switch lane to give in, the younger ones may then try to slow down, to block the cars behind. I have personally witness again another incident where both the drivers came out and fight it over. Worst of all, I can see the wife and kid were in one of the car. What madness?

e) Enjoy the radio and the air-condition and ride, while you are stuck in the jam. Many of my friends told me that they will be very stress up during the morning and evening traffic jam. And this traffic jam also gets onto my wife's nerve. But for me, I would always say to them that working is tough and there isn't much time that I can sit back, relax and listen to the music, and with the other half. How frequent do we have the time to really sit down and have long talk. It is during such long hours of traffic jam that we can make use of to enjoy the music and to engage in your talk with the other half. It will actuall make a lot of goodness out of this so called traffic nightmare, that you are stuck with however in your car.

So the next time, you are stuck in the middle of this massive traffic jam, give this a Try, and see how you like it.

Posted by: Ivan

Ills & Frustration of Social Networking

2012-03-11T04:52:00.000-07:00

Advancement of telecommunication, computing and handheld devices have never made life so convenient and sometimes taken for granted. Along with it, the advent of the social networking and community have never made and foster friendship, constant keeping in contact of the events and happenings so quickly.

Many sites such as Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Bebo etc as such have grown exponentially as social habits and culture have now gravitated towards this phenomena of a whole new virtual world. While this brings about many good, it has also brought about much frustrations and social ills.

If not handle properly, this new craze is going to become increasingly more powerful and capable of keeping track and tab of all our doings and life. Some of the social ills well known includes;

- Excessive use leading towards some form of addiction towards the new culture that people are oblivious towards their own family and surrounding
- The new phenomena is creating a new form of communication media and language eg.texting , sms giving rise to its own unique language. This is now known to have cause many students to fare badly in their language

Already, this morning I was reading in the news that Facebook had exposed one man’s other wife as its headline. Apparently, this happened in Seattle where Facebooks’s automatic efforts to connect users through “friends” they may know each other have led two women there to find out they were married to the same man at the same time. God knows what this can lead to in future.

Just only last week, I remember reading in the newspaper that a husband divorced his wife barely 2 weeks of marriage when the new wife’s habit of spending so much time on the social networking got to the husband nerve. Unable to accept the neglect from his newly wedded wife, he had file for divorce.

It is not surprising that many of today’s technologies were meant to help and make our lives better. Despite so, we can see so many people are overwhelmed by such inventions. In the event, they ended up virtually becoming the slave in this new world order..

Take the case of a simple mobile phone. One can remember the days when telecommunication was so difficult when one is on the move. Today, we see almost 10 in 10 person carrying the mobile device. Instead of enabling the person’s life and others better, people have forgotten the meaning of convenience that these inventions bring. They have lost track of the situation when to use this. They do not switch them off or turn to silent mode when they go to theater, or go into meeting halls. Instead they let this phone rings and talk interrupting others. We can see so many of such inconsiderate person in our day to day interactions. What a frustrations all these inventions have brought upon us.

Posted by : Ivan

Stress Too Far

2009-11-11T19:17:00.000-08:00

Bad Days at Work

We all have bad days, whether at home or at work. If we think about it, we spend almost all the time (or at least critical time) at work, and so how we manage ourselves is important.

Coping with all the stress and pressure from work is tough, which is why periodical breaks and holidays aware from office is essential for the person to recharge and re-energise. Modern days office expectations and demands are unlike the past, akin to a battle field at worst, with seemingly good colleagues scheming against other.

That probably accounts for many cases that we read about in the News about people just losing sanity and control, many cases resulting in unwarranted destruction of properties and innocent lives. The more recent highlighted case being the Fort Hood massacre where a US Major Nidal
Malik Hasan went on a shooting spree that killed 13 people at an army base. Worst still, the shooter is himself an army psychiatrist and now remains to be seen whether there is more to this.

At this same time, Jason Rodriguez went on a shooting spree that killed one and wounded five at the firm that fired him for not having money.

MUST MANAGE MY STRESS LEVEL
Click Here!

I recently received recently a video clip from an Ex - colleague. It's like a silent movie of the Charlie Chaplin day, but I do hope you watch this, and not let it happens to you. It's title Bad Day At Work.. (BaddayatWork).

I can imagine how the stress must have built up over time, waiting for it to explode. If you look at the video clip, it must be something that the supervisor that must have said that trigger the man to snap. It looks like he is uncontrollable.

Over the years of working, I am aware of the situation. It is important that we recognise that we are stress up and therefore need to be aware to avoid this happening to us. But how ? as we see above that even an army psychiatrist can succumb to the same fate.

Let's us take the first step to recognise that stress do exist and affecting us, and let us start talking about it with our close one and see how best to control and minimise it. I have just recently taken a bold step, to resign from my job of 11 years, so called early retirement. But today, I'm without the job, without the stress, but still there are a new host of other issues that is boggling my mind.

Nevertheless, I am hoping for the best, and thinking forward to be better that where I left behind.

Posted by
Ivan

20 80 Rule Why did I get married

2009-05-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

Frustrations, frustrations, frustrations from all angles. Feeling frustrated with your spouse.

Pareto's principle 80 20 rule, except that trying to apply it to our lives, living it out with our spouse. I can imagine your frustration. I have mine too, who hasn't got any. Is there one around that hasn't any? Come on and be honest.

Do Not look back and ask why, Look Forward and ask Why Not - seems a pretty good quote to live by. But can we?

Interesting quote from a move "Why did I get married?".
In most cases, especially n relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or woman) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT. And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it is not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not. Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring, more thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: I broke my arm yesterday, hahahahaha..

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait, that's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

WANNA YOUR EX BACK!!
Get Him to Beg you back -->Click Here!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you have accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

VALUE WHAT U HAVE
Wanna Captivate Your Man -->Click Here!

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. But I am not just talking about marriage. I am talking about life! about your jobs, about your friends, about your children, about your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? They have go more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they have got personal videos!

I guarantee you will be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class - because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message? If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!
Conclusion : You will never get 100% perfect in Life of your needs and wants!

So if you are feeling real frustrated, rethink and reflect again, look around you and be thankful for whatever you have. Appreciate those things around you, the people and the relationship around you.

Like what we learn from small, a bird in hand is better than 2 in the bushes.

Posted by
Ivan

Queue at cashing out at ATM

2009-05-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

Latest ATM Procedure

Ever get into a queue, trying to cash out from your ATM and wait and wait and wait to move on, and to find out that it is the lady at the front that is slowing things down. Ever wonder why? It’s time that we learned of the women’s routine, the so-called bad habits that they unknowingly behave that cause the world around them to slow down. Maybe, I should say that it is not only the women that has this problem, to be fair, the man has it too. I am sure you would have encounter similar frustrations, having to queue and wait over someone else, taking their own sweet time, ignoring that there are others being held back. Such is the waste of time, productivity. I am sure this applies to any of us.

Take the scenario of you lining up to move up to the ATM machines to make your withdrawal and finding yourself behind some ladies. How long the queue will be, and how much of time is lost.

Well at least, this following joke and observation tells a lot of a new ATM Withdrawal Procedure comes out of a study as follows;

New ATM Withdrawal Procedure

A sign n the Bank Lobby reads, “Please note that that this bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate signs for your gender"

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Put down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Drive-off
7.
FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine
2 Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window
with the machine
3 Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert Card
9. Re-insert card the right way
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11 Enter PIN
12 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
13. Enter amount of cash required
14. Check makeup, in rear view mirror
15. Retrieve cash and receipt
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Write debit amount – in check register and place receipt in
back of checkbook.
18. Re-check wakeup
19. Drive forward 2 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21 Retrieve card
22. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and pace card into the
slot provided
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you
24. Restart stalled engine and pull-off
25 Redial person on cell phone
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27. Release parking brake

End of Procedure

Well, while I may agree that there are some man who does adopt the Female procedure, by and large, the majority of the ladies do fall under this category. It may amaze you that the next time round you follow behind someone queuing for an ATM or for that matter queuing up for anything else, to observe and see the number of steps that are really unnecessary, and are holding up the rest behind the line.

Posted by
Ivan

Sex Next Door

2009-04-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

Losing sleep over Sex...Yes, someone is naughty next door.

Imagine, being awaken by some screaming, moaning and groaning at the odd hours of the night or morning, keeping you from sleeping and enjoying your slumber. Because of Sex Next Door, Caroline Cartwright is causing her neighbours to lose their sleep.

For some people, this maybe a welcome disturbance. But not to the neighbours of this Caroline Cartwright and her husband Steve, who have been having sleepness nights for 2 years. What a frustration that must have driven the neighbours to bring the matter to court. Just fancy their frustration over this couple lovemaking routine.

It was reported in the New Sunday Times today, that an Englishwomen was fined a total of Sterling Pound 500 by the court.

In London, reportedly a woman has been given a court order banning her from making too much noise when having sex with her husband.

Caroline Cartwright was found guilty of breaching a noise abatement notice served on her after 25 complaints to police.

The 47 year old denied the latest 5 charges but was found guilty after Sunderland magistrates listened to recordings of her loud lovemaking with husband Steve.

The couple's partially deaf neighbour Margery Ball, said she had not had a decent night's sleep in 2 years because of the noise made by the couple. As well as being given a noise abatement notice, Caroline was yesterday fined Sterling Pound 200 with 300 costs. She was taken to court after Environmental Health officers placed recording equipment in the flat next door to her house in Concord, Tyne and Wear.

Her neighbour, Rachel O' Connor, pressed a button on the machine every time she was disburbed by noise from next door.

She told the court "I heard sounds of a sexual nature. There were really loud, and there was a lot of moaning and groaning and screaming as if in pain. It wasn't just the woman, it came from both parties."

O'Connor said when she first moved into the flat, in November 2007, the noise started at midnight and lasted until 3.00 am. Now, the noise started about 6.30 am and lasted unitl 9.00 am.

Environmental Health officer Pamela Spart told the court she had listened to 23 recordings of the couple having sex. She said "There was an excessive screaming female voice on the recordings."

Caroline told the court that she was not "making the noise on purpose. I can't understand why people ask me to be quiet. It's normal to me."

But chairman of the magistrates, Alan Griffins, said, "You were ordered to refrain from screaming and shouting at such levels when engaging in sexual activity with your husband. You could have made efforts to minimise your vocalisation while having sex. You have not shown due respect for other human beings."

How on earth can people be so inconsiderate. At least, try to do something to cover such personal indiscretion. I just wonder, why can't the couple do something about sound-proofing the apartment. In this world, it is just what we see, people without due regard. consideration and respect for others. It serves the couple right to be fined by the Court.

Just fancy that.

Posted by
Ivan

The Frog Story

2009-03-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Lessons from the Frog Story

In my dealings with people, I have come across different types of people, each reacting differently to stress and problems. At the extreme, there are those who are very cool to taking on the problems and issues head-on but understanding and working on the solutin with a cool head as against another who will complained and jump, screaming the very moment upon hearing a problem, and refusing to listen.

Such people have no patience to sit down to discuss and listen to find out and understand the issue properly before acting on it. In the course, a lot of energies are wasted and causing a lot of unnecessary tension along the way. A seemingly minor issues can be blown out of proportion, inflicting stress, anxiety and frustration to all concerned. Let the following story be a good learning lesson to us..

Here goes the story

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, “There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs – millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!”. So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, “well…where are all the frogs?”
The farmer said, “I was mistaken..There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!”

(Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it is probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also, remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.)

Posted by
Ivan

Husband Wife

2009-03-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Nagging Wife : For Sale

WHAT MEN CAN'T RESIST
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Just a couple of days ago, the local newspaper reported that a man, frustrated with his wife constant nagging, has put her up for sale.

Apparently, this took place in England when a British man fed up with his wife's complaints, had put up an advertisement along with some of his fishing tackle, for sale .

The tagline was "Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT. Very high maintenance -- some rust," as put up by the frustrated husband Gary Bates, 38, in a small ad in Trade-It, more usually used to buy and sell cars or household goods.

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It was reported that Bates, a self-employed builder from Gloucestershire, southwest England, snapped after his wife Donna on got on his nerves while she was watching television and decided to place the ad as a joke.

"She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I'd put an ad in to get rid of her.

"I didn't think anyone would ring up but I've had at least nine or 10 people calling about her. It's gone mad. There was no one I knew -- just people asking, 'Is she still available?'

The couple only married last year, and Bates said his 40-year-old wife .
But he said: "She's seen the funny side of it now though!"

Click below for the detailed press article.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5hKbieGOfjRCmApOjqzSdNh216HAg

Imagine what frustration can drives a person to do all sorts of things. But at least, we see one funny side of frustration.

Posted by
Ivanh

For Sale: one life in China

2009-03-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what one can do to make things better when you are down and out.

Well, the economy is no better in your country than mine. The world economy is going down in doldrums. All over, the government is scrambling to restore public confident, in employment, business. For once, the world seems to come to terms that they must act in concert, to keep the world economic system viable and intact.

Back home, many people are losing jobs, business failed, and the outlook is only gloom. What can one do?

Well, in China at least one girl has found an igenious way, having failed in her business. She has given up her life, to be run by others, at least to the netizens.

So, feeling frustrated with life not happening to what she hoped for, she has decided to give up her life to be determined by others. She is Chen Xiao, a pretty girl from China, now open to do the bidding of the netizens, albeit at a small fee to keep her going. What a way?

So read on the full story by clicking below.
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/02/25/china.lifeonline/

So what do we say about frustration. Or so people say that Neccessity is the mother of invention. So it seemed Frustration can bear fruit to good and igenious idea. Let's pray and hope that this little girl Chen Xiao in Beijing will do well in her new quest and find what she hoped for in Life.

Posted by
Ivan

Wife Beheaded, bizarre murder in US

2009-02-19T08:37:00.000-08:00

It makes one wonder, the type and manner of crime committed nowadays. When I read this morning paper, there was this news about a TV executive being charge for murder of his wife. Murder is common news today, and practically, everday, there are reports of many murder cases.

What caught my attention for this murder is that the husband beheaded his wife. What kind of person would have done this and how on earth could one carry out such act. This is yet another form of frustration, anger and driven to extreme in the spur of moment.

The couple is reportedly very well off and owns a US television network. The couple was reportedly muslim and the wife had just recently filed for divorce. The slaying gave rise to speculation that it was the sort of "honour killing" more common in some countries, including the couple's native Pakistan. Both husband and wife are age 44 and 37 respectively and police is still investigating. Apparently, the husband was detained as suspect for his wife death in the offices of the television network owned by the couple on 12 Feb when he went to inform the police that his wife had died.

For more on news report, you can click to view the following

The bizarre murder has shocked the employees of his organisation. And it now makes one wonder how a normal, well off person could turn so violent. As reported, a statement from NOW said that "This was apparently, a terroristic version of 'honour killing'.

In society, this is how one gauge and judge others, base on our own standard. We do not know what and how others are raised, taught and ingrained with their own value system. One just cannot sit in the comfort of his own home, society raised and bred with the value system of his environment, and then try to impose it to other people, societies, cultures thousands of miles away, and similarly judged them using their very own standard. We may just have to learn to accept the differences in value and ideology. We may share our own feelings, but at the end but have no choice but let nature takes its natural course.

Posted by
Ivan

A Woman missed her flight at HKIA - frustration at its worst

2009-02-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I came across a small clip reading the local newspaper. I thought nothing much of it, thinking that it is just one of those incident. Never did I realise that someone happened to have recorded it and posted it onto Youtube.

Apparently, a couple has missed their flight at the HongKong Internatinal Airport. However, what happened to the woman upon learning that she has missed her flight, she appeared to have lost her cool and started yelling, wailing and shouting.

See for yourself what happened by clicking the following

It goes to show how people can react when they feel frustrated and angry. At the split moment in time, one can lose control of his mind if one is not able to handle the situation. I am sure when she settled down and started looking back at the video clip, she would agree how silly she had reacted, and perhaps wonder how and why she did that. So it is our mind, our thinking at each moment in time that is important.

When we are down and out, or when we are extremely angry, we must tell ourselves to cool down, stop whatever we are doing to think things over before we react to the situation. One example of a practice that I always do is that when I am extremely angry upon receiving an email, and feel the urge to respond back immediately, I would always addressed my response back to myself first. And whenever I read this response back at a later time after thinking things over, I find that I have to make changes to the response to mellow down the tone before really sending it off. I guess it is one good practice to avoid regret over saying words that we can never take back later.

Posted by
Ivan

Getting the right Gift for your loved ones - Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T06:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine Day. I am sure people all over the world will celebrate with their loved ones. It is a happy occasion, sharing quiet moment with your loved ones.

Is it always true that it is a happy occasions? To many, this could be a nightmare. What is it that one should get for the loved ones for Valentine gift? Many will feel frustrated, not knowing what to get as gift. Is the gift going to make your loved ones happy? Or will the occasions turn into a nightmare, if the loved ones have different expectations, expecting to get a certain gift which is not forthcoming.

To celebrate Valentine Day, most people try their best to charm their loved ones with gifts such as chocolates, flowers, toys, candle-light dinners and through many other exotic ways. Yet to many, it will just be like any other day. There are many ways to show one's love to the other party. Yet many are willing to splurge to impress his loved ones. Jewelry and Daimond are girls best friend, and on this day, there are many promotions as part of V-Day promotion.

This morning, driving to work, I heard over the radio, where there was this listeners call-in and survey about what gift one should get. This of course depends on the recipient. If there is a high expectation, it is likely for the recipient to feel frustrated for not receiving something not up to expectation. Similary, if one knows that there is such expectation, he will feel frustrated for fear of not getting the right gift.

Furthermore, why is it that on such a day, it is always expected of the guy to spend more money on the girl, buy expensive gift and spend on expensive candle-light dinner.

It was reported that people spent billions to buy gift for the occasion. One person in particular, mentioned about his loved one having the expectation that the gift she received must be better each year, better than the previous year. What then consitute better? is it in terms of quality, price, or value of the gift?

I am sure that on this very day, much as one looks forward to the celebration, there are many who feel real frustrated. If you are in this shoe, I feel sorry for you. It is meant to be a happy day, a happy occasion. So go out there and do what is best. And let it like the song lyrics that say What will be, will be
Happy Valentine Day.

The Art of Happiness – Be Happy at Work

2009-02-03T19:45:00.000-08:00

Working today is different from the time when I first stepped out to work. At that time, families are generally poor and one has to stick on to his job to ensure that there is income to help out the family, or at least not to add further burden to the family. Today, the working youngsters are a different breed. They tend to come from good , well to do family, at least economically. At the slightest unhappiness or stress, they will throw in the towel and leave for greener pasture.

That leaves the most people in working position, and especially so those in management a difficult and stressful environment, having to plan, organize, monitor progress to ensure the work done. Gone are the days when the superiors can exercise greater discretion in the reprimand of the subordinates.

I was recently reading an article in the Star paper on The Art of Happiness – learn the seven secrets of living a stress-free lifestyle by Shelly Sykes, a Happiness Guru.

In it, she share the 7 keys to happiness which all employees find relevant.

1) Love Your Job
2) Stay Optimistic
3) Be Honest
4) Soak in Positivity
5) Chase your Dreams
6) Expand A yourself
7) Have Fun

She wrote that key to happiness is about staying empowered, staying motivated in the profession and not get burnt out even when under pressure. I personally wonder how these have really changed. In it, she also illustrated a Happiness at Work Model. And the area where the 3 Circle intersects, represents work-life-sustainability, and determines how successful one will be in his career and life

That essentiality sums up the importance of compatibility of job to the individual. The premise is that the more attractive the job/environment to the individual needs/interest, one would be more happy and stay longer. What about those who have a prolong need for income. After all, it is well known that people who have a overriding and high need for a job and source of income, have lasted prolong period of service, despite being unhappy. Perhaps, under such circumstances, one has learned to accept the situation and the unfavorable environment.

Posted by
Ivan

Frustrated with the World, The Gaza War goes on-Take your side

2009-01-20T08:28:00.000-08:00

What is wrong with this World and this Humanity? Desptie the great achievement and advancement of mankind, humanity has taken many steps backward. Let's pause and take a look at this Gaza War, and the many lives that have been lost in it.

The 2 sides wanted war, many has joined in the fray for whatever motives they know best. But the World at large, wants peace and this is threatening world peace.

The Gaza War has now entered into its 22nd day. So far, asthe SUN newspaper headlines goes today, " Hamas to silence guns for a week after Israel declares Truce." It is reported that the Hamas militant announced a 1 week ceasefire. Unless there is some concrete break through in negotiation, what will happen then? A resumption of the War that nobody wants to take place.

Why would the people want to go to war? Many are taking sides, with both sides laying claims to many things, and both sides have many to tell. At the end, who is right and who is wrong? What about taking another sidethat totally abhor wars and killings, a side that wants this to stop immediately.

Does this matter afterall, if every party wants peace and the every people affected here are the ones that should decide. Not all others who are just bystanders who are mere instigators who have all the ulterior motives that one can question. Where is the transparency in this? Has United Nations gone so weak as to be unable to do anything as this drags on further? Why can't they settle amicably?

To the young, they must be wandering why are there still wars at this age. And worst still, such hatreds are being ingrained into the minds of so many youngsters. Just hardly a short distance away, people can live in peace and in harmony. Why can't they enjoy the peacefuleness as in toher. The world has failed these people.

Concurrent with this event, we just saw United States Barack Obama inauguration as the 44th President of the world biggest power. Let's hope that there will be changes that will see an end to war in the Middle East, replaced with improved and better Middle-East relations as many have harbour high hopes and expectation of Obama.

Let us pray and hope for a speedy end to this senseless war and killings especially when there are so many innocents caught in it.

Posted by
Ivan

President George Bush - Ducking from Shoes Attack

2008-12-19T05:21:00.000-08:00

Just recently, during a News Conference in Iraq, a correspondent by the name of Al-Zaidi from a TV station, created a shocking scene when he hurled 2 shoes at US President George Bush who was speaking at the podium.

It was a very near miss, and watching the video, I must say that the President reaction was very fast and nimble. Twice the shoes were going in the same direction at him, and it was a near miss twice, when he ducked. President Bush remained composed to continue but instead talk about the shoe incident.

In President Bush words, such act is to draw attention and he likened it to people back home showing displeasure as in any political rally.

View Video Clip on President Bush ducking in slow motion

How would one describe the incident? A near violent form of displaying unhappiness, anger, frustration. I do not know of what happened to the journalist, and will he still be a correspondent after the incident.

The Middle East Region has been embroiled in controversies and wars for many years and one cannot help but sympathise with the people who live there, must be very frustrated.

Looking at the frequent suicidal killings going on every now and then, one must be wondering how much of hatred and anger has been sown in the minds of the people. I am not sure whether much can be done to the adults and this generation to make much difference for peace in the region, but I do hope and pray that more can be done at the children and educational level to foster goodwill, love and compassions, so that the future generations will be able to lead a more peaceful and happier lives than is now.

But wherever we are right now, let us not underestimate the power of one, and let us begin with ourself, and work for peace within our own home, and from this hopefully, peace will manifest itself into our environment, our society, country and eventually the world at large.

Posted by
Ivan

World Wide Weakening Economy causes diminshing wealth of everyone

2008-12-08T05:35:00.001-08:00

The world's economy is now taking center stage in every government's agenda, and top on most people in managing the economy of their respective countries. The future looks bleak while everyone is praying for a quick recovery if at all they cannot be cushioned.

Over the last few months, I am sure we find the wealth that we have worked so hard over the last 20 - 30 years being eroded. At times of unstable environment, whatever instruments and hedging mechanism available out there is not helping either. In my case, I have learned that when the environment is unstable, the hedging mechanism may not work in favor. Take the case of exchange rate hedging, while we can buy and hedge the currency that we need for future, it can work the reverse when you are overbook into the position. In my case, I had bought into the Sterling Pound at the rate around MYR 6.49 to 1.0 Sterling Pound and looking back, now that the sterling pound has weaken to around MYR 5.50 to 1 Sterling Pound, it had actually resulted in me losing out about MYR 50,000 to hedge the initial fund required for my son's education in London.

Likewise, the Australian dollars has also weaken from about MYR 3.1 to 1.0 AUD to now about MYR2.3 to 1.0 AUD, it has also caused me to lose about MYR10,000.00 While frustrated on one hand, yet I find it hard to complain for over the longer term, it would be better for the MYR to strengthen as this will be beneficial for future exchanges. This of course is true only if the existing rate can sustain for some time.

While recession appears imminent all round, yet the cost of living has gone up. When the oil price was about USD 150 per barrel, it created chaos wordwide, with many suppliers raising prices of essential goods that drives up cost of living. Now that oil prices has dropped to around USD50 per barrel, and hardly 4 months ago only, no one would have imagined this to happen. Now that oil prices have gone by more than 50%, yet the suppliers are taking their time, if at all willing to reduce the prices. While suppliers are quick to raise prices, but they are very slow to react when it worked against them.

And what are the Authority and Government doing about this. Let's hope the people of authority are doing enough to bring about some action to address such injustice and restore equity to the people on the ground.

And let us all pray that the world economy will recover quick enough to bring relief to all the countries on this globe and that world economy stability returns.

Posted by
Ivan

Moving into New House – All the frustrations of renovation

2008-11-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

Getting a new house and getting it ready so that you can move in to stay, is something that everybody looks forward to. I have bought this house delivered almost 2 years ago. It was under renovation for the last 4 months as I intend to move into this new Semi-Detached unit after selling my present 2-storey linked house which I owned and stayed in the last 21 years. That’s a long time.

I had originally envisaged the renovation work to take about 2 months, for the small extension for the kitchen, new patio area with minor renovations. Renovating the house is time-consuming not to mention that a lot of money has to be thrown in and now 2 months delay. Since my last shift, it have never occur to me to bear with so many frustrations in renovating the house;

- Firstly, the quotation comparison and negotiation to finalize the award. At the end, you will still find misunderstanding, and at worst is that the contractor admitted that it is a mistake and omission. What can you do then, except to fork out the additional

- I can now safely say that the original budget that you plan for renovation work will never be enough, so my advice is that you have to plan for additional amount as buffer for variation work. There are again things that you never thought of, may cropped that you now realize requires it

- During renovation itself, a lot of things which are in good condition will now be spoilt and require replacement and rework. For example, the walls maybe perfectly all right, but at the end, may require some patching and a full new coat of paint

- Cost may creep up depending on the market condition. For small job this is no issue, but for bigger job, substantial changes in the market will result in changes as the contractor will keep asking for more money due to substantial increase in cost of material

- Delay arising from rainy days as well as conditions laid out by the developer to limit renovation work to restricted hours and non holidays days only. In my case this has seriously affected the timing without anticipating this during the planning stage

- Looking at those workers who carried out the renovation work will add further frustration. These people are just plain dumb, and only concentrate on their portion work, without regard and consideration to the others. An example is when you ask them to install a new door, they will focus on the door, but would not pay attention to scratching the new floors that you have done, by discriminately handling of their equipments. Or when you ask the electrician to put in new wiring, indiscriminate hacking which spoil the wall and ceiling..

In my case, I had been unfortunate to be hit with 2 incidents of the water pipe to the ceiling burst over a month. The incidents resulted in water flooding the entire ceiling board of the rooms upstairs, sipping down to affect all the walls and the laminated timber stripes floor. The second incident resulted in the water wetting all the bedroom and wardrobe set and damaging some of it.. As a result, the developer has to re-patch the plaster ceiling, repaint the ceiling and wall as well as re-grind the floor and repaint it. Till to-date, I am still waiting for the developer to rectify this before I start moving in.

If you are particular with the auspicious day to shift in, the delays would have frustrated you. Luckily, I am not those who will choose an auspicious date with all the pomp, hustles and bustles to shift in. So the next time you buy an new house and plan to shift in, be prepared with all the frustrations that comes with it.

Posted by
Ivan

Economic Chaos - A new World Economic Order

2008-10-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

Posted by Ivan

The financial meltdown of 2008 is being called the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. World economies is in a doldrums, brought on by the earlier subprime issues. Now, big and once called world class corporations, best in its own class that set the world best practices are falling apart and dragging down all others with it. We have seen the big big names - Bear Stearns Cos, Wsahington Mutual Inc, Wachovia Corp, Lehman Bros Holdings Inc, Goldman Sach Group Inc, Morgan Stanely AIG, Fannie and Freddie, and many more in Europe.

The US Government is pumping billions into the economy to boost back confident and bailout. The bailout is being felt around the world, Europe and Asia. UK and Europe Government has come out pumping billions to their banking systems. In the process, Government is now taking up stakes in financial institutions. Government in Asia have also come up to support and guarantee the banking system. What is happening here?

People all over are frustrated, in that their hard earned monies and savings have now been depleted. Stock Markets all over have also collapsed and wipe out billions. Against such backdrop, fuel prices have dropped to US72 per barrel which only recently saw it shot beyond US130 per barrel barely a month ago.

Quick and concerted action is required from all. Government in some countries have come out to guarantee the banking system and hopefully re-instill public confident that banking deposits are safe. Whatever action is required, it will be many many months before the world economy can regain its past glorious days.

I have just received this internet jokes that perhaps illustrate how greed can create chaos. I think the story has some resemblance to what the world is facing now. The story goes like this as follows;

If you have difficulty understanding the current world financial problem, the following should help;

Once upon a time in a village in India , a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.

The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50.'

The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys

I hope this helps to illustrate the present situation well.

Yours truly,
Ivan

Feel free to provide your feedback by clicking the Comment below.

Frustration with your partner - Secret to a happy marriage

2008-10-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

Posted by Ivan

What makes a Happy Marriage? Occasionally, we can be asking ourselves, are we happy with our marriage? Not sure what the answer is with most, but I think the answer we get will probably be related more of whether we view a marriage as problematic. If we find less problem, we then say it is a happy marriage. If not, then perhaps, we think the marriage is unhappy. I have heard and come across married couples who have gone through lengthy years of marriage, seemingly happy, with no apparent discord, but eventually hit the rock at the later years. This normally happened when either party feels that there is no longer need to be dependent and tied to each other, arising from something external to them. In such situations, marriages are held on by some external factor, such as worrying for young children, financial dependent, parental objection etc. When such dependencies no longer holds true, such as when the children have all grown up, or the parents are no longer around, so is this tiny thread that binds the marriage together all these years.

So it is common for the individual to be frustrated with his partners at one time or another. What do we do then? And different people react and respond differently, depending on the value system in the society he is in, the culture, the up-bringing and his environment.

Reading an article in the NST recently, there was this poll being conducted on 4,000 married couples to find the secrets to a happy marriage. Or so it says, the secrets are;

- spending at least 22 periods of "quality time" together a month with at least seven cosy nights in and two proper dinner dates. The key seems to be spending a lot of quality time together cited by those who rated their marriage very happy
- Cuddle, it seems at least 4 times a day, holds the key
- Romantic gesture such as back massage every 10 days is necessary

The Survey also revealed that
- average happy couple enjoy two romantic walks every month
- one visit to the pub every month
- one trip to the cinema every month
- spend few romantic evenings in - eating dinner by candlelight 3 times a month
- Engaging in a proper conversation 6 times a month
- Curling up in front of the TV together 7 times a month
- Twice a month, shower each other with surprise gifts - such as flowers and chocolates, a soppy poem or a favorite piece of music
- A good marriage would also allow each partner to enjoy a night away from home without the other, in the compnay of their own friends
- Simple act such as cleaning the house without being asked or making breakfast show respect for the other spouse
- Go on two or more holidays every year

I do not know how one would be able to do those secrets revealed above. Or perhaps, these will add on more frustration to an already frustrated party. I wonder how one would be able to sustain all these. I have been married for 25 over years, and I can put my marriage on the happier side, although I would not venture to say a very happy one, at times perhaps. My personal view is that while one needs to work on the marriage, it must not sound like a chore, for when it requires such effort, it already defeats the very purpose of the union. The few things that I have learned through my years of marriage has helped to tide the rough ride that at times surfaced. And I would say that with each hump that I crossed, it had made the marriage more solid than before. So here lies my key;

- Taking the ups and downs of the marriage - one cannot view the marriage as something smooth sailing without the downs and problems. The important thing is what one can and should do quickly to overcome it. For without the rough ride, what then is a happy one and how then does the couple share and feel the need for a solid marriage.
- Communicate and sharing - there must be communication, as in personal matters that relate to both parties. I know of a case where both the party does not even talk, sharing the same bed. In no time, the couple separated. At times, one may have to be frank to the other, rather than harbouring uneasy thoughts and suspicions.
- Have physical contact - I believe that physical contact is very important for the marriage to last. I do not think the need to say how frequent, except that there must be periodical contact, be it simple gesture of holding hands, or rubbing the shoulders to rekindle the feeling and bond.
- Give and Take attitude - I have often heard about the share of responsibility and equality. This happen more so when the baby takes center stage of the family. My take on this relationship is that there is no such thing as equal share of work or responsibility, but there must be an exercise of care and responsibility to the utmost of both. After all, people are known for what he can sacrifice for love, so there should not be any bound on this. Remember reading somewhere that aptly puts it that the women is the sunshine for the family, and the man is the pillar.
- Have some time reserved for the family - finding time to do what I have mentioned above is important. So much was said about quality of time, and I think this means different thing to different people. Just cuddling up with the partner in front of the TV set may appeal and sound so good to many, while to some other, may require costly outing to a posh restaurant

For what one does, we are talking about human. And human being is an extremely complex creature that the more research is done on him, the more we find unknown. We can only try our best, and in so trying, pray and hope for the best.

Yours truly,
Ivan

Feel free to share your feedback on this topic by clicking the Comment below

Meetings - A waste of time. Making meeting matters

2008-10-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

Posted by Ivan

How often one condemns and make jokes about the meetings and how they are conducted. Comments such as that we always have to many meetings, nothing gets discussed and done, people always come late for meetings.. How frequent one label such meetings as unproductive, waste of time and inefficient. It is not new that meetings have been said to be so, and as leader, it is important how he conducts himself. Frequently, attendees have to sit around, doing small talk and gossiping to wait for the senior to arrive.

Common pitfalls have led to various meetings being labeled as

- unproductive, usually arising from non preparedness
- irritation from a lot of unnecessary chatter and side talk and disturbances
- inefficient and without focus
- the meeting drags on too long
- often discussions focus on irrelevant topic and at worst wonders off to chit-
chatting and gossiping
- poorly conducted without results
- inadequately represented by all stakeholders
- discussion and meeting centered on few members

Over the years of working, I have come across various bosses that exhibited different traits and habits, ranging from those that are extremely particular about punctuality to one that is totally oblivious to timing, and thinks that as the head and will always be late, leaving the entire team waiting. At one extreme, I came across an instance where there was a shouting match among the very senior management team because a couple of the members were late.

In my many years of work experience, my personal experiences (at least the ones that I am in control) are that meetings can be very effective and efficient means of communication and seeking consensus quickly to move forward. There must be clear objectives, action items at hand for decision, and most importantly , is adequate preparation if major decisions are expected. I found the following tips are useful to control and manage meetings to ensure that they are productive and useful.

TIP 1 – Set clear Term of Reference – terms and scope of the committee/workgroup must be clear
TIP 2 - Appoint a permanent respectable Chairperson – preferable a senior personnel that command respect and carry some authority
TIP 3 - Set an Agenda for every meeting and send it out before hand – a full time secretariat to administer the Discussion topics/issues
TIP 4 - Appoint a permanent member as Secretariat to take minutes of meeting – Clear and actionable minutes of meeting is essential
TIP 5 – Set aside adequate time-frame for matters to be discussed – allow everyone to have a say
TIP 6 – Start meeting on time, and not wait for late-comers – proceed with adequate quorum rather than waiting for senior to arrive
TIP 7 – Be specific on each matter discussed. Control and allow everyone to speak when meeting becomes rowdy – exercise Chairperson’s role
TIP 8 - Go round to allow every member to voice anything before close-out – allow those without opportunity to voice out
TIP 9 – Write minutes and circulate them within 1 week of meeting – for individual verification and actions while issues are still clear.

With the above, the meeting will proceed a lot more smoother and faster.

Find out More >> MISAsiaJuly2008”MakemeetingmattersbyTomKrattenaker”

Yours truly,
Ivan

Feel free to share your feedback on the topic by clicking the Comment below.

Money Matters - frustration in managing Credit Card

2008-10-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

Posted by Ivan

Today, I want to write about the frustration in the choosing, handling and managing the financial aspect of handling our credit card. Most people would agree that the advent of credit card has done much good and convenience to us as consumer, especially so for those who travel a lot. But with it, comes the problem of managing its usage and finance. For those who have the urge to spend, credit card could be a night-mare, after all one must exercise control and responsibility. Over the years, bankruptcy cases arising from inability to pay have risen, and these go up in tandem with the economy of the environment.

My experiences in this area have shown that frustration can come from a few aspects.

a) Choosing the Right Credit Card - A lot of factors comes into determining the right card for you. If you are looking for prestige and world-wide acceptability, there use to be a few choices only. But today, practically the card be it VISA, Mastercard or AMEX has become an acceptable generic product everywhere, by many outlets. Next comes the cost to acquiring a new credit card, but looking at today's competitive environment, banks are practically giving away credit card at no cost, and to top it all, offering various types of gifts to entice the potential customer.
So, it does not really matter whichever brand that we are talking about, mostly driven by the promotion campaign that is available. One has to be cautious of the terms, as a lot of the freebies are only valid for a specific duration, and unknowingly, one may find that you have to pay if you do not meet the conditions. I have personally encountered a couple of such nasty incidences and
have to go through the hassle to deal with the bank to resolve it.

b) Key Features of the Credit Card - Banks are today packing in various features with the card that appeals to a wide segment of the market. Extended Payment Plan, a form of instalment plan now comes standard with many card. Affiliate programs to offer special discount, entrance to specific event such as Sales, Concerts etc are becoming the norm. Balance transfer that allows cardholders to extend credit period by moving around their debts has been around for some time, and for those undisciplined may lead them deeper into debts.

c) Loyalty Programs - Cash back, loyalty points in exchange for goods/gifts are also another feature and offers some form of rebate to the cardholders.

d) Cash Advance - One great convenience of the Credit Card is the cash advance feature , that allows those short of cash to cash out a certain sum. Financing cost for cash advance is however relatively high and cash advance feee varying from 1% to 3% can apply depending on the brand and issuer. So, cash advance should not be used at all, unless as a last resort.

e) Settlement - Perhaps, an extremely good feature of the Credit Card is the credit period for one can enjoy that comes with every card. The credit period again varies from bank to bank, but it makes good sense to settle fully upon receipt of the credit card statement. From what I understand, the industry average of roll-over is high, in the region of 60 to 70 % depending on location. By this I mean, people who cannot afford to settle the full amount, but only the minimum payment amount, which means they have to pay the interest element. Perhaps, this is where the Bank earns its profit, to be able to offer the free credit period and all those perks that are thrown in. So for those who can afford to settle in full, they get to enjoy these at no cost. One has to be mindful to settle in time, as delay will result in a penalty. I have personally gone through a few round of frustration of dealing with the Bank to get such charges waived for reasons beyond control.

f) Keep your CreditCard safe and secure. Most important of all is that you must take extra care to keep your card in place and to report it immediately when you lose it. I have not encountered this personally, but many have come to me about losing their card, and being coered by the bank to settle the charges incurred after the card was lost or stolen. All these people are very frustrated and partly attributed to their ingnorance. It is a tendency that we do not realise when our card is lost, and usually, come to realise it when the bank calls up or when we need to use the credit card the next time. By then, the credit card would probably have been used a few rounds. There are however guidelines limiting the lost and liability , and it makes good sense for one to know what these are and how they protect the cardholders. The Bank will not likely to let the cardholders know about this, but instead try to recoup whatever it can from the cardholders.

So, for all you credit cardholders out there, beware and guard your credit card safely and securely.

Yours truly,
Ivan