It's My Life, It's Now or Never

Creating Memories

2010-07-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

We've had our cabin - known as "Pinewood" for a little under a year. We saw it on Father's Day weekend last year, and signed the papers on July 22. We had been discussing buying a vacation home for years, but more seriously for the immediate 3-4 months prior. Mostly because the Washington rat race had (and still does to some extent, but not nearly has much) gotten to my husband and he would not have lasted there too much longer. I, on the other hand, could see myself growing old with him and our children in our house in the 'burbs. So...a weekend house seemed like good compromise.

I don't think either of us realized at the time the memories we would create here. Sure, we theorized about it: "the kids will love the outdoors... rafting/canoeing/kayaking on the river.... we'll go fishing... sit around the fire and make s'mores.... have good times with friends here" but until things actually happen, you don't think in concrete terms.

One thing we theorize about, hope for, dream about is that our kids will be close friends when they get older. I fully don't expect them to be hanging out together in high school (that's probably too much to ask!), but because of the family time we spend here where they are often their each others only playmate, I can see a bond developing between them that can only strengthen later on.

At the river yesterday, they at first were playing separately (Katie of course found a group of kids and went to hang with them; Ryan was playing alone in the river and with us). Later on, they started playing with each other. And they were laughing and enjoying each other's company like I rarely see. Typically they are arguing over something...anything...everything.... and I have to decree "no talking" for 5 minutes just to end it. But yesterday they were playing for a good 45 minutes, laughing, thinking of things to do together on the rafts, swimming, and just having fun. Those are the moments I cherish - carefree fun. No arguing. Laughing. Enjoying each other. And that is what I think will last throughout the sullen teenage high school years.

I truly don't see this at home - we are all so involved in our routines at home: work, school, homework, laundry, what's for dinner, more work. We don't get much carefree time there. But here at Pinewood, that's all there is. Sure they argue. It is not sibling bliss 24/7 as much as I'd like it to be. But it's far less sibling rivalry than at home.

Well... a year later, we've created a lot of memories. Specific things may not be remembered, but the general feeling of being a family, doing things together and unplugging, relaxing will be long lasting.

The most exciting thing is that it's only been a year - what more can the future hold??? I can't wait to find out.

Raising confident, independent children

2010-06-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

I am a fan of Lenore Skenazy, creator of Free Range Kids. She is a little controversial - but I embrace her general philosphy - to let kids be kids. Lenore encourages us to let our children be children like we were - she started her blog (which has since turned into speaking engagements and books among other things) because she wrote an article on why she let her son ride the NYC subway alone. He was 9. Her philosophy is that we can raise "safe, self-reliant children without going nuts with worry."

Like Lenore, I believe that we cannot - I repeat - can NOT - coddle our children like the current generation of 20-30 somethings were as children. Our children have to learn to be kids like we learned to be kids - we rode our bikes for hours around the neighborhood; sold Girl Scout cookies door to door in the whole neighborhood, not just at the houses of the people we knew; and walked to elementary school - not uphill, both ways like our grandparents, but alone or with our friends. Not one of these with adult supervision.

In addition to the safety risks that we try to protect our children from, I think we often over-protect our children from the emotional risks of being children as well. We try to protect them from emotional lows, disappointment in themselves, failed friendships - all of which they will experience at some point in their lives. I think we do them a disservice when we don't let them experience these emotions earlier in life.

Let's take friendships for example: it's so hard for us to let our kids manage their own friendships. We want our kids to have a lot of friends, and - dare I say it - be "popular" (especially if we were NOT). And we feel that somehow we have failed if they aren't. I had tremendous guilt as a working mom when my son had so very few playdates in preschool. I thought for sure he would be a loner with no friends by the time he was in 2nd grade. Boy, was I wrong. Turns out my lack of over-managing his social life then has had no effect on his current one.

My kids have a wide variety of friends - some closer than others. I try not to interfere with these relationships. My daughter has a new "best" friend every month. I don't forbid her to have a "best" friend because then others will be excluded (which is the topic of the blog I read today that inspired this one). She has to learn what having and being a "best" friend means - I can't simply tell her that having a true best friend can be one of he most valued relationships in your life. She has to learn this on her own.

My son still plays with some kids he met when he was 5, but also with ones he met more recently. He let a relationship "fade" over this past year with a boy who he had been quite close with the year prior. This "friend" wasn't acting so much like a friend this year - playground hitting, saying nasty things - and my son realized that his energy was better spent on others who treated him better.

I think that they need to learn how to navigate human relationships now, so for the most part, I stay out of them. I believe this is equipping them to be able to better navigate friendships, and all relationships, in the future. Yes I want them to have a lot of friends. And yes, I will step in (and I have) when a relationship turns more toxic (like when my daughter was being a bully, and later being bullied herself.) But it is up to them to decide who their friends are, and until they need or request my help, I will step back and let them happen. But no matter what happens, I will certainly stop short of hiring a "friendship coach." (No lie - apparently these coaches "teach kids how to be friends the RIGHT WAY." Seriously? No, seriously??)

Yes, we need to keep our kids safe. But we also MUST let go - it's the only way they will learn how to be successful adults. So even if you can't imagine letting your 9 year old ride the subway alone, or even walk around the neighborhood by herself, try letting her navigate her friendships with no interference from you. It may be hard, but I hope you realize it will be worth it.

West Virginia stereotypes

2010-05-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

Most of you who know me know that we have a weekend cabin outside of Berkeley Springs, West Virginia. Anyone from the DC area knows all the jokes about West Virginia - mostly involving a lack of intelligence, missing teeth, hillbillies, marrying your cousin, or something to do with the movie "Deliverance." I've heard most of them, and am sure to keep hearing them more and more as time goes on.

I had many of those stereotypes in my mind as well when we bought Pinewood. I soon found out that some people are some of these things - the people in and around Berkeley Springs are not the best educated or most worldly; they do not have the best dental hygiene. But they are some of the nicest people I've ever met - the "locals" really have a small town mentality and embrace new people. They start conversations with you in diners; drivers stop at walkways to let pedestrians cross; and the waitress at Betty Lou's asks where your kids are because they aren't with you when they have been the last 20 times you went there.

But I was deeply disturbed when one stereotype was really in my face yesterday. I've always heard that West Virginians are overweight and unhealthy. And a lot of them are. Most live below the poverty level - WV is the third lowest state in per capita income, and as of January 2010, the unemployment level was 9.3%. So I'm guessing that eating healthy food is not high on the priority list. But while grocery shopping yesterday, I observed a large woman with two overweight pre-teen girls, and one average size elementary school daughter doing their shopping. What caught my attention was not the size of the woman or her children, but rather, what was in her grocery cart. She had 8 3-liter bottles of soda - orange, root beer, mountain dew, and coke, and not one of them diet; two huge bottles of Hawaiian Punch; and no less than 8 frozen pizzas. At that point, I had to walk away.

I am trying to figure out why this bothered me so much. I am overweight, and have been since my children were born (my oldest is 9 and my youngest just turned 7). Most of my siblings and parents are and always have been overweight. I did not learn healthy eating habits growing up, and still am not the healthiest eater. I drink at least one soda almost every day - usually Diet Coke or Diet Dr. Pepper. And my day is not complete unless I've had at least one sweet treat, probably two, and sometimes more. So who am I to judge what other people eat? Actually - I don't think I was judging her, but rather observing her and wondering what makes us different. I think it is that, thanks to Weight Watchers, I have learned to try to make some healthy choices as part of my overall food intake. I eat a salad with my lunch most days of the week, try to eat more vegetables with dinner, and try to eat fruit as a sweet treat instead of ice cream or cookies. "All things in moderation" works really well with the Weight Watchers plan.

I think that is what struck me - there was not one piece of produce in that woman's cart. Had there been any kind of fruit or vegetable, I would have thought that they are part of what she and her family eat. But the fact that all that was in there was processed food and a LOT of drinks loaded with sugar and chemicals just hit me hard. It makes me sad to think that her children will probably be overweight for most of their lives, and will never learn healthy eating habits. And unfortunately, it will probably be a trait passed on for generations.

I'm hoping that I learn a lesson from this woman - or actually just reinforce lessons that I already know. And that I teach them to my children as well. The choices you make in what you eat have a direct result on your quality of life - maintaining a healthy weight by eating healthy food makes you live longer, and lessens your chance of getting most cancers, diabetes, and high cholesterol. Living a healthy life can raise your life expectancy, and make the quality of that long life even better. It's not always easy or convenient, but the best things in life never are.

And you can - and should - have the candy bar or birthday cake every once in a while. Because they are yummy - and everyone should have something yummy - in moderation of course.

Just for fun

2010-05-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

A friend answered these questions in her blog, so I will too. She is SO GOOD about blogging every day. I wish I had the motivation to do that too. Maybe she will inspire me...

We've all answered those "getting to know you" emails or notes on facebook; this is a slightly different twist to those. Hope you learn something about me. Happy Reading.

1. The last thing I procrastinated about and why?
I procrastinate about nearly everything. I have projects at work that have been "ongoing" for far too long. I know if I hunker down and just do it, it will get done. I just don't know why I don't hunker down and do it. At home, I still need to switch me, my daughter and son from the winter wardrobe to the summer one.

2. How fast do you fall asleep? Do you sleep all night?
It takes a while to fall asleep unless I am absolutely exhausted. I fall asleep around 11 and wake up btw. 6:30 - 7:00.

3. What decade would you choose to exemplify your favorite fashion styles?
Classic - late 50's/early 60's (pre-hippie!). I guess the TV show Mad Men has classic professional women's styles that I love.

4. What is your personal best dish for feeding a crowd?
Baked ziti or lasagna.

5. Are you an impulse shopper? What was the last thing you bought on impulse?
TOTALLY! If there is extra $$ in my pocket, I'll spend it. I recently impulse purchased quite a few necklaces and earrings.

6. What is one wish you have for your own funeral?
Laughter - through tears if need be, but more laughing than crying.

7. Is it true that joy is formed in simple things? What joy did you have today?
Yes - absolutely. Snuggling with my kids is so simply joyful. Today what brought me joy: enjoying a latte while hearing one of my favorite songs while driving to work in the sunshine; and the smell of spring in the air.

8.What is your favorite type of bread?
Flavored bread - olive, rosemary, sourdough - my new favorite is pretzel bread. Too bad it is empty calories. Because of course I don't like the mulitgrain, high fiber bread.

9. What trait do you fear you could develop?
Hmmm... not sure.

10. What trait would you like to develop?
Decluttering. Being able to get rid of things sooner. Having a place for everything, and putting it there.

11. What room in your house best reflects your personality?
Kitchen. It's the center of the house, so it's where I spend a lot of time. It's bright, cluttered, and decorated in a fun whimsical way. Like me.

12. How do you balance your life, work, family, obligations, church and blogging?
Sometimes well and other times not so much. Luckily work allows for some personal time when I need it (like leaving early or taking a day off for kids school events). Sometimes, regrettably, my marriage doesn't get the attention it deserves because of school, work, volunteering at church, house cleaning/errands, spending time with friends, or other activities. But I have made a concerted effort recently to change that. Blogging usually happens when something strikes me that I need to express my thoughts on. It is FAR down on the list of priorities. Like at the bottom.

Finally, here is a fun game - 5 for 5: answer 5 questions 5 times

Question 1 - Where were you five years ago?
1. At the same job in the same office
2. In the house on Findley Road
3. Raising a then 4 and 2 year old and enjoying it!
4. Planning a big bash for the firm's 40th anniversary
5. Still glowing after taking our first Disney cruise two months prior, and planning the next

Question 2 - Where would you like to be five years from now?
1. Raising a happy and healthy teenager and pre-teen
2. Still happily in love with my husband
3. Taking my 10th Disney Cruise!
4. Blogging far more frequently
5. 40 pounds lighter

Question 3 - What is (was) on your to do list today?
1. Send CLE applications out
2. Pack for weekend in WV
3. Weight Watchers meeting
4. Daughter's laundry
5. Catch up on Dancing with the Stars with daughter

Question 4 - What 5 snacks do you enjoy?
1. Hostess 100 Calorie strawberry cupcakes
2. Anything chocolate
3. Honey Wheat pretzels
4. Ice cream
5. Cinnamon sugar pita chips

Question 5 - What would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Travel - cruising mostly, and using a private jet anytime I needed to fly.
2. Donate to organizations that build girls' esteem by taking the focus off outward appearance
3. Drive a dream car - don't even know what kind, but probably a convertible
4. Have a house on the beach on a Carribbean island
5. Hire a full time cook and housekeeper.

Moms - it's okay to be "selfish"

2010-04-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

I have the word "selfish" in quotes on purpose. To many, especially to moms, it's a bad word. Right up there with George Carlin's 7 words you can't say on TV.

So many moms I read about - whose blogs I read, and very few who I personally know - feel guilty for being "selfish." Yes, being selfish CAN be a bad thing when it's taken to an unhealthy degree. But doing something for just you - something you alone enjoy, want to do, get pleasure from - that has NOTHING to do with your children or husband is a critical, sometimes self-preserving, need that I think all humans have.

We were people before we were wives and moms. We had jobs we enjoyed, we went out with friends and shared a glass of wine and the latest gossip, we did dumb things we hope our kids never find out we did, and we took care of ourselves first, and others second. And then we had a husband and kids and we adjusted these things to go along with our new lives. Some of us left our jobs to stay home with our kids. Some couldn't do that - or didn't want to. We still went out with our friends, only now we met them at the park and shared a cup of coffee and the latest school rankings. We got too busy for doing dumb things because we were changing diapers, and doing laundry, and supervising homework, and chauffering to this sport and that dance class, and let's not forget trying to fit in the time to pay attention to our husband. And we got to the point where we were taking care of others first and ourselves last. We forgot that person we were before we got married and had little persons that our lives now revolve around.

See - the thing is that our kids are going to grow up. And while we will always be their mom, our lives won't revolve around them as much as they do when they are little. And we will have to know who we are - in addition to being moms.

We moms need to be able to treat ourselves as well as we treat our children. If our children mean everything to us, and I know they do, then we must teach them that taking care of ourselves is okay. Sacrificing all of our own desires so that our children can have everything we think they need or want is not okay. Doing that teaches the wrong message - to girls it says that they must sacrifice their own needs for the good of someone else - children and/or husband. That when you become a mom, you can't do or get what you want if it is at the expense of something your children or husband want. But the resentment of always putting others' needs before ours can become overwhelming.

We must allow ourselves to be at the top of the priority list sometimes. Taking care of ourselves is NOT selfish. Taking care of ourselves IS the priority.

Guns and children

2010-03-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

I'm sure so much has been written about this topic - but not by me so here goes.

I just read this article and it made my blood boil: http://www.wusa9.com/rss/local_article.aspx?storyid=98215

This poor family. A 3 year old picks up a LOADED GUN that the stepfather LEFT ON THE END TABLE IN THE LIVING ROOM AND "FORGOT ABOUT IT" - and she accidentally shoots herself in the abdomen, and she dies. Are you kidding me??? What kind of person leaves a loaded gun in the living room with a toddler in the house? A stupid, irresponsible one. I'm sorry - there is NO EXCUSE for this behavior. I know these parents must feel incredibly guilty in addition to overwhelming grief. But at the same time, the stepfather should be held accountable for his actions. That is reckless - and I'm sure there are some laws about child endangerment that this behavior clearly violated. Yes, he will pay for this careless reckless behavior in his own mind forever (if he is human anyway). But he also (very likely) violated the law. If making him legally responsible for his actions saves the life of even ONE toddler from the older brother/father/stepfather/sister/uncle who thinks twice about leaving (and "forgetting") their gun out on the living room end table, then it will have purpose.

The other thing that makes me crazy is that the 3 year old supposedly mistook the gun for - get this - a Wii remote. Again - are you kidding me??? First of all, how does the sheriff know that is what happened? The poor girl is DEAD - how could you know what she was thinking??? Or is this for the parent's benefit - to assuage the guilt that they surely must be feeling for forgetting about leaving the loaded pistol on the end table in the living room??? I'm sorry - there is NO WAY a 3 year old "mistakes" a .380 revolver is a Wii remote. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Period.

I have nothing against guns. I am not pro-gun, I am not anti-gun. This is something that I think each person should decide on their own. I however, am PRO-teaching-your-children-about-the-difference-between-real-and-fake-guns. And about teaching your children about the difference between play and real life. My 9 year old son has been playing with toy guns (water guns, nerf guns, etc.) for a long time. And he also has been playing video games for some time - some like ACME Arsenal that include minor violence - with Wile E. Coyote and Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd; yes, it's about as violent as the Saturday morning cartoons we all watched; and yet didn't grow up to be gun-toting murders. Hmm...somehting to think about for another blog. But...I digress.

My point is that while my children play these games, we have REGULAR discussions - at least weekly - that what happens on video games/cartoons/some tv shows is NOT real life. In real life, when you shoot Super Mario with a real gun, and real bullets, he would really die. In real life, when you crash a car from driving 150 mph, you don't walk away from it. There is nothing wrong with children playing age appropriate games, and they are going to play these games whether or not we want them to. What we CAN do, as responsible parents is teach them, at as early an age as possible, that play guns are okay, and real guns are not. Early and often. And more often. And again. Especially if we have guns in our house.

I'm so sorry for the family of this girl who shot and killed herself. I am sure their pain and grief will be deep, and neverending. Let us all learn a lesson from it.

Manners

2010-02-14T17:54:00.000-08:00

Two incidents happened this past week that have really gotten under my skin. Granted, we have been dealing with amounts of snow that this city and most of its inhabitants are not accustomed to, and most of us are on edge. But that is no excuse for being rude.

In the grocery store on Tuesday morning (between storms) I was in line when the lady in the line next to me dropped her bottle of vegetable oil, breaking the cap and causing a slow leak. I watched her pick it up, examine it, saw it leaking, and proceeded to leave it on the display of paper towels, rather than give it to the cashier. So I picked it up from there, and I gave it to the cashier. The woman's husband saw me and told me, "No - that one's leaking." I thank GOD for giving me restraint at that moment. Rather than throw it at him (which I SO wanted to do and that would have been SO satisfying), I snapped instead, "Yeah, and I'm giving it to the cashier so it doesn't leak all over the place."

Now, I am guilty of leaving unwanted items in the wrong place, but not when something is leaking all over the place, and not when I'm three feet away from a store employee who could do something about it.

Yesterday, a friend and I took our sons to the movies. At the snack bar, I got pretzel bites that came with a side of cheese sauce. As I was headed toward the theater, a woman who was paying NO attention to where she was going walked right into me, causing cheese sauce to spill on the floor and down the front of my coat, and sending pretzel nuggets flying. I was pretty shocked, and she said "oh...sorry..." and kept right on to get in line for whatever she wanted. As my friend and I bitched (loudly) about her, and were cleaning up the cheese sauce from me and the floor, rude woman came back and offered to buy me another (which I accepted), and my friend mentioned that she could also help us clean up (which she did not).

Then, to top it all off, as I stood waiting for my new order, the server came over to me to let me know my new order would be ready soon, and she'd bring it to me. The woman who ran into me has disappeared, and didn't even have the courage to bring the replaced order to me herself. So not only was she rude, but a coward too.

Is it too much to ask for a little more politeness these days? Not everyone has to smile, or say hello. Or be nice to everyone all the time. But to be a little less rude would be nice.

Supreme Court and Freedom of Speech

2010-01-21T19:12:00.000-08:00

The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the government may not ban political spending by corporations in candidate elections. I've engaged in debate on both Facebook and to a lesser extent on Twitter (hard to debate in 140 characters) in full support of this decision. My position is simple: a law cannot be passed that inhibits or restricts freedom of speech of any individual or group - period.

Let me just put this out there so there are no misunderstandings: I believe that the structure of our current election system is screwed up. No arguments there. The way things are currently structured allows for (and some may say encourages) corruption, and is far far from perfect. But if you can tell me what political system is perfect and is free from corruption, let me know.

The SCOTUS decision reversed a 2002 law, usually called McCain-Feingold, that banned the broadcast, cable or satellite transmission of “electioneering communications” paid for by corporations or labor unions from their general funds in the 30 days before a presidential primary and in the 60 days before the general elections. The law, as narrowed by a 2007 Supreme Court decision (FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION v. WISCONSIN RIGHT TO LIFE, INC.) applied to communications “susceptible to no reasonable interpretation other than as an appeal to vote for or against a specific candidate.”

To this I say - THANK YOU - it's about time. McCain-Feingold quieted the voices of corporations and labor unions, and is now considered illegal. The issue is simply this -quoted from the Bill of Rights: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." McCain-Feingold told corporations and labor unions that they could not freely speak for those 30 or 60 days prior to an election. THAT is NOT OK, and in clear violation of the 1st amendment.

If legislation can be passed restricting these groups from expressing their opinions, who is to say that it can't then be expanded and applied to other groups? It quickly becomes a very slippery slope, with a serious crash and burn at the end. Because it is not just corporations and unions that have that kind of cash. I can only imagine the outrage if Acorn or Moveon.org were told that they couldn't buy TV time prior to an election for the purposes of "an appeal to vote for or against a specific candidate.”

"We find no basis for the proposition that, in the context of political speech, the government may impose restrictions on certain disfavored speakers," Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority. "The court has recognized that First Amendment protection extends to corporations."

AMEN.

I realize the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform legislation was passed with good intentions - to try to avoid undue influence of any one particular group (specifically one with a lot of money) on the general electorate. But I argue that it is the responsibility of each individual to do more thorough research before they make up their minds about candidates rather than rely on the 30 second sound bytes that are paid for by anyone who can afford to buy TV time. It's shameful that so many people don't. In this day and age of information overload, there is NO excuse not to find out more about your candidates than what you see between segments of Martha Stewart.

Everyone - every individual and every group - has a voice, and should be allowed to use that voice whenever they choose. Freedom of speech is a cornerstone of our democracy and must never ever be compromised. I am thankful to the Court for preserving it.

Sports - part 2

2010-01-17T08:38:00.001-08:00

Gilbert Arenas is the most recent athlete to fall from grace. There are many other professional athletes I can name who at one point were at the top of their game (literally) and wound up at the bottom of the heap.

What is it about so many professional athletes who think that the law doesn't apply to them? Or maybe they think they can break the law with no consequences because they can afford the best lawyers to get them off. Or that the police will recognize "who they are" and wink, wink... nod, nod... look the other way for illegal activity. Personally - I don't even think there is that much awareness. They are just living in the present, with no thought to the future.

Well you know what?? It doesn't work that way. You are not above the law - Michael Vick went to federal prison, and Gilbert Arenas could serve up to 6 months in jail. Ray Lewis made a plea deal, after the witnesses to his crime "changed their story" and he made a plea deal to testify against his companions. (I'm HIGHLY suspicious of this, and have quite a bit of contempt for Lewis. But that's another whole blog post...) Not to mention those athletes like Tiger Woods and Magic Johnson whose personal behavior is morally questionable but not illegal.

What athletes need to realize is that they are role models, like it or not. You - the young athelte - need to know and recognize this LONG before you enter the draft, or farm leagues, or even try out for college teams. With fame comes responsibility. You need to know going in that with the posters, shoe deals, tricked out Escalade, ginormous paycheck, and VIP treatment at every restaurant and nightclub, comes the image that SO MANY young people see and want to imitate.

You cannot tell yourself as you cash your check that it's all about how you perform on the court or field, and everything else is private. NOTHING is private these days. You may say that you never asked for any of this - well guess what? The minute you signed that multi-million dollar contract, YOU DID. Whether you like it or not, these days, that is how it works.

Your name and face are all over the cereal boxes and bobble heads. Young kids wear your shoes and jersey number; they pay BIG bucks to see you play and dream that they can one day do what you do. If they play hard enough, they CAN be you. For that - you owe them the responsibility of a public image worth emulating. Be someone worthy of this praise. Live a life - on and off the court - that you are proud of. Make good decisions - ones that you would want your son, daughter, niece, nephew, and grandchildren to make.

That is what your legacy will be. Not how many triple-doubles you had in your career, or your election into the Hall of Fame. Your WHOLE life - one not just of talented athletic performance, but one of good deeds and good words will be your legacy. Make it one you are proud of.

Sports

2010-01-10T14:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a sports chick. I've followed sports since I was a young child - starting with my beloved Yankees. I remember going to Yankee Stadium as a child with my father, grandfather, and brother - and one specific memory sticks out: Bat Day. I was probably 7 or 8 years old, and the bat I happened to get a Bucky Dent bat. (Sorry Mark - I have to say his name.) I remember walking to our seats and a girl who was probably in her early 20's asking me if I wanted to trade and my dad not letting me. Of course, years later, the bat is long gone - I only wish I would have realized at the time just how special that was.

I also played sports - yes, really. Those of you who know me now probably have a hard time picturing it. I played basketball and softball with the Emerson Boys/Girls club when I was in elementary school. I was never a star athlete, but I learned a lot about sports during those few years. Mostly because of those experiences, I can call a strike or balk before the umpire, or an illegal pic, double dribble or travel before the ref does (often surprising my friends!).

I love watching sports on TV and really love going to the games. My top three sports are baseball, basketball and football. I appreciate most of the other sports (although I can't seem to embrace boxing) and I am so happy not being a sports "widow" having to seek an alternate activity for the hours that a baseball or football game is on. I don't know all the player stats, the exact pitching rotation or batting lineup of my Yankees, or all the teams in the NFL playoffs this year, which I used to when I had the time to play fantasy football. But I enjoy it all the same.

Sports is entertainment - and I'm a big fan. Whether at home or in person, I will cheer for a great basket or awesome touchdown. I can appreciate an amazing sack or a seemingly impossible touchdown catch. I will (in fact, I did!) tweet about a bad call by the ref or the nearly-blind umpires in the ALCS and World Series games. I wear my Yankee hat and t-shirts with pride (and also to mess with my Red-Sox fan husband!); and we will order the MLB extra innings package to watch our teams every summer. And I will enjoy every minute of it.

In the US (and some other countries) some athletes are paid almost as much as movie stars; and are as famous as Brangelina too. My next blog will be about those professional athletes who lose focus and take their eyes off the prize. Think Gilbert Arenas, Michael Vick, and Ray Lewis. Stay tuned...

Twitter

2009-06-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

I'm slowing becoming accustomed to Twitter. For so long, I wasn't sure I "got" it - why it was created, it's purpose, the protocol, and especially it's impact. But today it hit me - today, reading #iranelection and #Tehran.

Twitter is currently the ONLY mode of information sharing for the people in Iran. I don't know how much of it is accurate, but it is really the only way people in Iran are giving and getting information outside of that country. But inaccuracies are not getting past the savvy (understatement!) Tweeters. This post keeps coming up so people keep ReTweeting (RT) it: "RT IGNORE AND BLOCK @serv_ and @tellsecret. serv_ is spreading misinformation. Possible Iranian Gov thug. Pls RT." or this: "Those who are coming in late to the topic. Be Advised: Not Everyone is what they claim. Use sound judgment."

Iranian internet connections, television, radio, and any other kind of media have been shut down. Most reporters have been kicked out of the country, or worse. But thank God (or Mohammed, or Allah or whomever you'd like) for Twitter.

I am amazed at the amount of Tweets that come in every few seconds. EVERY FEW SECONDS. Real time. Pictures, cell phone videos. The rest of the world has to know what is going on, and they are REALLY interested - they want to know, and they want to know NOW. Yes, you can read the news online, or watch the news when you get home from work, but how much will you see or hear? On Twitter, you are getting constant information. If you want it, it's there.

The amount of Tweeters who are commenting, reacting, and showing solidarity with the Iranian people is beyond comprehension. I couldn't figure out why so many profile pictures were shaded green until I realized it was to support the people.

Some examples of supportive Tweets:

Also, RT from others: Help Iranians: set twitter location to TEHRAN, GMT +3.30. If all become 'Iranians' harder 2 find
Just changed my location to Tehran. If it makes it harder for Iranian govt to find Iranian Twitters - good enough for me.
Let us all wear green on Friday in solidarity with protesters in Tehran
RT Today at 1 p.m., two more journalists arrested in Iran, Reporters w/o borders. Don't stop tweeting!!
Please retweet: just signed petition 'Google Earth to update satellite images of Tehran

and my favorite so far:

Twitter allows the truth to flow like water around over and through any mediums possible that wish to stop it.

I have 15 followers on Twitter - which in the Twitter world is less than a grain of sand on the beach. And most of 24 people I follow are either friends, social groups near where I live, my Yankees, or TV personalities who I like. And most of what I say to my Tweeps or hear from them is pretty trivial. That's just me. Because I'm THANKFULLY not living in a country of civil unrest, anarchy, chaos, danger.

Twitter can be trivial. But maybe, after reading this, those of you who think Twitter is just so that you can Tweet that you are pouring milk in your coffee and need to stop at the grocery store tonight, maybe you will think again.

Love What You're Doing

2009-05-05T07:04:00.001-07:00

I have heard Donald Trump say: "The most important thing in life is to love what you’re doing, because that’s the only way you’ll ever be really good at it." There are a few things I think I'm good at and simultaneously like doing.

Being a Mom is the first one. Of course I struggle with some parental decisions, have power struggles with my kids, and perhaps indulge them a little too much at times. But because I love being a Mom, I think I do pretty well at it. I hope all other Moms feel the same way.

Being a legal Professional Development Coordinator is another. I've evolved into this job at this firm over the past almost 14 years. Of course I love it, otherwise I would not have been here this long. And I have to think I'm good at it because otherwise I would not have been here this long...especially in this economy. No - I don't LOVE coming to work every single day. I have ups and downs, good days and bad days, and stressful days, and boring days - everyone does. But overall, I really love what I do, where I do it, and who I do it with.

Part of my job allows me to plan meetings and events - which I REALLY love. I think had I not found this career, I'd be an event or meeting planner. That has bled over into my personal life - not just the parties I host at home (Kick-A$$ New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day parties if I say so myself), but helping out at friends' parties, relatives' weddings, school and church events. I agreed to co-chair the Auction committee for church this year for many reasons, not the least of which is I love doing it. Producing an event where others have a good time with friends, and that raises money for a great cause is incredibly satisfying. And I believe that is why I'm good at it.

I encourage everyone to think about what you are doing and really think about if you love it. Are you doing it to just pay the bills? Or because you've been doing it for so long you can't imagine doing anything else? Or because you are obligated in some way? Or because you think that's what everybody thinks you should be doing?

Because even if you're really good at it, and don't really love it, what good is doing it?

Do you really want to ask yourself these questions 10, 20, 30 or 40 years from now...when it may be too late to make a change?

2009-04-23T08:06:00.001-07:00

I posted a few months ago about Dancing with the Stars and how much I loved watching it because it was a mindless escape for me at the end of a busy day.

Watching the show has a whole new meaning now because I've gotten my daughter hooked too. And she loves it more than me. We bond over discussions of dancing, fashion, music, hair and makeup. And then she sings the songs and practices the dance steps she's just seen - usually with me as her partner lifting her up, holding her outstretched leg in the air, and "flying" under my legs. (I'm sure there's a technical term for that, but I'm not Carrie Ann Inaba.)

This time with her means a lot to me for a lot of reasons, the main one of which is that it causes no conflict between us. We enjoy each other's company, share our opinions - sometimes differing, sometimes not - and don't fight about it.

Like most mothers and daughters, we have a lot of power struggles. Wardrobe, hairstyles, bedtime, food... the list goes on and on. Sometimes I think we'll be mortal enemies forever, and I'm truly scared for when she becomes a teenager and the struggles will get more intense.

So I enjoy and cherish and try to soak up as much positive time with her as I can. "Dancing" (among other things) provides that for us. I hope she also enjoys, cherishes, and soaks it up. Because she may not know what's ahead in the teenage years, but maybe when she gets there, she'll look back and realize that her mom really isn't the biggest b*#ch in the world.

Maybe the second or third biggest, but definitely not the first.

Weekends

2009-04-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like the weekend isn't long enough? I usually feel like this EVERY Monday, but even more so today.

Saturday started slightly differently but no less busy than usual - no Irish dance class, so we substituted Mommy/Daughter getting our nails done together. Errands - Target for birthday presents, Home Depot for plants, Costco for a few things, Starbucks for caffeine. Home for a few minutes, then chauffeur Katie to a birthday party. Pick up wine for a Pampered Chef party I'm co-hosting, then head home.

Two hours until I have to go to the party. Time to rest, have a snack, and maybe check Facebook. Until the bomb drops.

As I get out of the car, my husband is mowing the front lawn - not unusual for a Saturday afternoon. Until he says to me: "Don't freak out. We're hosting brunch tomorrow. The count is 16 of us."

Me: (silently) Don't freak out? Are you kidding me?

Him: "I've got M {my sister} on the phone ordering food. They'll deliver it at 10:30."

Me: (silently) I'm freaking out. What about drinks, plates, forks, MY MESSY HOUSE, etc., etc., ???

Him: "It's all going to be fine. I'll do most of the cleaning and preparing - all the "heavy lifting" - if you could just do some stuff now, and maybe not go to church tomorrow, we can definitely do it all."

Me: (silently) Okay...but I will take care of the kitchen, and all the little details. Like clean tablecloths, clean towels in the bathrooms, drinks, plates, forks, glasses, etc.

Me: (out loud) "Alright. It is what it is. I have two hours now, and all three of us have about 4 hours between 7-11 a.m. tomorrow to do what we can to get it all done."

Spend the next hour or so finally getting rid of (truth is: HIDE) the clutter in the kitchen (numerous piles of paper from school, bills, and whatever else), and run the dishwasher. Check.

Throw tablecloths in washing machine. Check.

Calculate I don't have nearly enough matching plates of "everyday" plates, so will use china. Check.

Calculate I don't have enough OJ for mimosas (but plenty of champagne...hmmmm....) - call cousin to ask her to bring some OJ with her, along with a fruit salad. Check.

Realize I don't have enough chairs for 16 people to sit at the same time. Then realize I can borrow some from a great friend. Still not enough chairs, but I can stand, and so can my husband, and do the kids REALLY need to sit? Probably not. Check.

Then sis and I go to Pampered Chef party and we get home at 11:15 or so.

Throw tablecloths in dryer to be ready for tomorrow. Check.

Sleep. Well.

Wake up at 7:15 - plan to go to Starbucks. My husband is outside reading - not freaking out either. Encourages me to go to Starbucks, and stay there to drink and enjoy my coffee. And not to freak out - we have plenty of time to get stuff done.

So I do. I sit there and read the paper and drink my coffee. And then I look out the window to see Target is open at 8:00. I can do this. I can go buy those patio dining chairs I've been planning to buy, get some clean hand towels for both bathrooms, and tablecloths for the outside tables. So I do. And get home at 9:00 with 2 hours left to finish cleaning, set up dishes and glasses, make mimosas, shower, hair, makeup, and get dressed. Perfect.

My husband and sister have done an AMAZING job getting the house in order. (The main level anyway - and don't open any closets!) So I finish the last minute details (towels, table cloths, centerpiece, plates, glasses, forks, napkins) and transfer most of the food from "catering" serving dishes to my own. Check.

Shortly after 11, the guests arrive. The guests of honor are my mother's cousins from Ireland, visiting their son and his family who now live in DC. They are right on the heels of my Aunt, cousin, and her family. And brunch is wonderful. We visit, we laugh, we chat, we eat. A lot. A spontaneous basketball game breaks out and the moms claim credit for the talent of their children and grandchildren. A minor injury here or there, and lots of smack talk. (Mostly from my husband.) The food is good, the kids are good, and we simply enjoy being together.

Three short hours later, with full bellies and after the obligatory group photos, the guests leave. (But not before my WONDERFUL cousin does the dishes for me - despite my not terribly heartfelt "don't worry about it" she does it anyway. Because she knows me and knows they would still be sitting there until I got home from work on Monday. And perhaps longer.)

And yet, the weekend is not over. It's "opening day" for little league, so we head to the baseball field to watch my son and his team play REALLY WELL (they actually kicked little league butt!) and then head home. Check.

And then take my sister to PetSmart for a Kitty Climbing Post, and then home. Check.

Then go home. Eat a little. Update status on Facebook. Demand kids put pj's on, brush teeth, go to bed. Check, check, check.

Fall into bed. Collapse really.

It's tough when weekends are just as busy - if not more so, than during the week. But when they are busy with joyous occasions, it really doesn't matter. Less sleep and more chores than usual makes me yearn for a three day weekend at least every other week. But inevitably, I know it would get filled with more plans, birthday parties, playdates, baseball games, Pampered Chef parties, and family brunches.

And to that I say - BRING IT ON.

Because I'd rather have joy and fun and be busy and lose a little sleep so that I can spend time with my family, and extended family, and with friends. Because they are what make my life rich. Sleep and quiet time are fine and needed and help re-charge the batteries - if only to give you the energy to spend enriching your life with the people and things you love.

Religion

2009-04-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

Easter is a Religious holiday and, like Christmas, has become quite commercial. Tacky plastic eggs filled with candy and trinkets, chocolate bunnies, and peanut butter filled chocolate eggs. Yet, to me, that is just as much of the holiday as the religious aspect. They are intertwined - even though one has nothing to do with the other - Jesus's resurrection and Cadbury caramel eggs? How did THAT happen?

I posted what I thought was a lighthearted quote on Facebook the other day about this very irony, but that was offensive to at least one friend (and perhaps others who haven't told me?). And I felt badly at the time. Yet it also got me thinking over the past few days.

I am a big proponent of everyone believing in whatever they choose. And that is up to them. It may not be what their parents, children, or best friend believe. It may be a different religion, a different God, or none at all. But that is okay because I believe that ultimately, "religion" is about the relationship between a person and their God (or Gods if that's what they believe).

I'm also a big believer in acceptance of other religions. I grew up Catholic - and will probably always consider myself Catholic, despite my now practicing and raising my kids in the Episcopalian faith. I have friends and family who practice other religions, and some who don't practice any religion at all. And I LOVE it. My children and I can embrace the faith and beliefs of others as much as our own, or learn why those who don't follow a particular religion have chosen not to.

It is troublesome to me that some organized religions promote the belief that others who are not followers of that faith will suffer at the gates of Hell, or that they are immoral, or that they are not doing God's work. The idea that one type of faith is superior to another is something I just cannot grasp. To me, that is completely contradictory to what religion is supposed to be. I believe that God (my God at least) loves all people, whether or not they go to church every single Sunday, or are hetero or homo sexual, or on birth control or not, or have had an abortion, or volunteer at the soup kitchen, or quotes the Bible, or shouts "AMEN" during the sermon on Sunday. Does God really look at a Catholic, a Jew, a Muslim, a Greek Orthodox, an Episcopalian, a Presbyterian, a Mormon, a Buddist, differently?????? Does he value one over the other? Does he give one a better seat in heaven? I can't believe he does.

(How God deals with truly evil people - Hitler, child molesters, Osama Bin Laden is a much larger and much more philisophical question! Perhaps another post...?)

Thanks for reading, and God bless.

Work to live

2009-04-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here at a friend's beach house listening to my kids, husband, and our friends and their kids, and other kids from the neighborhood, play wiffle ball on the beach. The amount of laughing and smack talk emanating from the 8-10 yr old boys (and their fathers) is mind boggling. And FUNNY! I love how the boys abuse their fathers both with words and physically, and the dads just take it. How the alliances between them all form and break faster than the waves on the beach - on the same team one minute, and pegging each other with the ball the next.

I've been thinking for some time now how important it is to work to live and not live to work. And it's mornings like this - sharing with friends, bonding with the kids, exploring the beach - that reinforce that sentiment even more strongly.

I love my job and the people I work with. But it's not all my life is about. I work so that I can take a vacation like a Disney Cruise, or a weekend with incredibly generous friends at their beach house, or with the girls for Moms Gone Wild (3rd annual coming up in September!), and refresh and renew. To live and enjoy life.

And forget about work for a while.

The World According to Mom

2009-04-08T12:30:00.001-07:00

A friend of my husband joined another friend to start this journey - in short, connecting blogging moms from around the world:

from: Her Bad Mother

In any case, the whole point of this exercise was this: to consider a standard entre-mamans question from my own perspective, and to invite other mothers - mothers from around the world - to do the same thing and share their answers.

David and I - in partnership with Global Voices Online - are launching an experiment to see if we get a global conversation going between moms who blog. We want to see if it's possible to travel the world and make friends, virtually, solely on the Vernian voyage power of the momosphere. We want to see if we can pull together a global playdate in 80 clicks.

I have to say I love this idea, and am very excited to participate.

I too have had the many many mixed emotions of being a mom - the happiest I've ever been, the lowest I've ever been, and everything in between. It's the hardest job I've ever had, sometimes the most frustrating and exhausting one, and yet the most satisfying one. I think we parents tend to talk in extremes when describing parenthood - it's the most [insert whatever emotion here]. Because our children bring us to the extremes, without their even knowing it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

So... to 5 (of the many) things I love about being a mom:

1) Seeing my children show love for each other: it's rare that they are in that position - to actually show each other how much they love each other. 99% of the time they either ignore each other, or are fighting with each other. But every once in a while, they come together on something - him helping her read, she cheering him on at his favorite video game - and I feel like my heart will explode with love.

2) Watching "kid" movies: I have to admit that I love to watch the movies they love to watch - mostly. We've seen "The Incredibles," "Cars," and each of the "High School Musical" movies too many times to count. But family movie night - on the couch under blankets with bowls of popcorn - is a time I absolutely cherish.

3) Being a "soccer" mom: okay, not a soccer mom exactly, since neither plays soccer. But I love taking my kids to Irish Dance class, or baseball or basketball practices/games. Truthfully, I don't always love it. I'd rather sleep in on Saturday mornings, or be home drinking tea in front of the fire on the crisp (COLD!) fall afternoons than be driving all over the county to a practice or game. But seeing him sink an 8 foot jump shot, or hit a home run, or watching her march and dance in her first St. Patrick's Day parade makes the early mornings and frozen toes fast forgotten.

4) Snuggling.

5) The mom network: my closest friends are moms. And I wouldn't know any of them had it not been for my kids. I thank God I was able to send my kids to the nursery school they went to, because my closest circle of friends are connections I made through their (now former) classmates' parents. I still find it amazing that having children the same age makes you immediately connect. Amazing, strong, talented, funny women that I otherwise would never have met, touch me and share my life through every up and down. I have my children to thank for that.

I could go on, but 5 is 5, so I'll finish up by saying something I've heard a lot before, and mostly from my husband: having children gave my life purpose. I know what I was put on this Earth for. Thanks to God and my kids for giving me that gift.

And thanks to David Wescott and Her Bad Mother for the opportunity to share.

Links to other moms who blog:

Angel At Home - South Africa

Reading the Tee Leaves - USA

Possibilities

2008-12-31T05:28:00.000-08:00

Wow - a new blog entry. It's been almost 2 months since I've blogged. Am I lazy? Do I have nothing to say? Am I busy? Yes, yes and yes. But now, as I sit here thinking about the end of 2008 and entering 2009, I've become contemplative. I think about all that happened in 2008 - mostly good things: 2 family weddings, lots of vacations and good times at the pool and parties with great friends, my 10th wedding anniversary, my daughter's 5th and son's 8th birthdays, the 2nd annual "moms gone wild" weekend, getting a new dog, and a reunion with my sister that I've missed for 6 years. And, on a different level of significance, I've discovered facebook, which has reconnected me with family and friends I might not otherwise have talked to nearly as much (but I already wrote about that in another blog post.)

So now I think about what 2009 can bring. So many more possibilities. A few weeks ago, I spent a weekend doing The Landmark Forum, which has really changed my outlook on life. I mentioned to someone else in the Forum at the time that I used to think I was an optimist before (another prior blog post!), but now, I define optimism differently. I have come to realize, through the hard work of the Landmark Forum, that I can decide my future, and not have it decided for me. I control my life - not what happens in life, because none of us can control what happens. But I make the decision how I react to what happens around me. And that is really powerful. Making those decisions based on what you want your life to be is an incredible feeling of empowerment. I create my own life through what I want to be possibile.

So for 2009, I urge everyone else to make their own possibilities. Happy New Year!!

Age

2008-11-06T17:53:00.000-08:00

Change - it's the big buzz word lately. Everyone wants some kind of change - a change in leadership, a change in the economic landscape, personal change, even just a change of the weather. Everything is about change.

One inevitable change is getting older. Aging is a natural human process that everyone goes through, but some don't do so as gracefully as others. Take Hollywood actresses (or other celebrities --uh...hello. Joan Rivers?!? What were you thinking?!?!) who think plastic surgery to look younger is just a part of life. Use good skin care products, color your hair, exercise, watch what you eat, wear contacts instead of glasses. If you must, you can find plenty of ways to make yourself not look as old as you are that don't include surgery (or injecting a live virus into your facial muscles...another topic that just grosses me out!)

But why must you do that? What makes us, as a society, associate getting older as something negative? Something to be defied and denied at all costs? We ALL - every human being - gets older every day. At the same pace. I will be one day older tomorrow than I am today (38 years and 136 days)...and so will you, and so will everyone else on the planet. What is wrong with that?? I say nothing.

Maybe I'm in a minority - I am proud of my age. I'm 38 and not afraid to say it. 38. 38. 38. And I look forward to each birthday as an occasion to celebrate - I made it through another year of life. I don't care if I'm one of those people who "looks good for her age" - what does 38 look like anyway? What matters is that I feel good about myself at any age, no matter how I look. I am proud of who I am now, and really looking forward to who I will be - not what I look like - when I'm 40, and 48, and 58, and God willing, 68, 78, 88, and 98.

I consider each each wrinkle, each grey hair, each need to squint a little more each day, as a badge of pride - proof I have lived my 38+ years, and I lived them well. I earned these wrinkles, and I don't really care who knows it.

Family

2008-11-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

We had dinner together last night - just the four of us, at the dining room table. That's a rare occurance these days - and it was just so nice to have that brief amount of family time together. We talked about each other - what we like and love about each other - and I heard out loud some sentiments that I suspected were there, but rarely, if ever, voiced out loud. Two examples: Ryan really does like it when Katie plays Wii with him; Katie likes that Ryan is sweet. They actually do enjoy doing things together and conspiring against either me or Mark, or both of us. It's not always apparent, but I know it's there, just under the surface.

Katie suggested that one of the reasons that Mark and I love each other is because we kissed at our wedding. That doesn't even start to explain it all.

So on nights like last night, I realize that I'm doing something right. I may not be a perfect mom or a perfect wife, and I'm sure there will be lots of therapy in my kids' future for some reason or another, but for now, I feel good about the mom and wife I am.

Optimism

2008-10-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

I don't usually blog at work, but I don't think any colleagues read this, so I think I'm safe...

October is a crazy busy time of year for me at work. It's the same every year - planning a week's worth of training programs, getting the attorneys to do their evaluations, projecting headcount figures and part of the budget for next year. All the while distracted by what the kids and Mark and I will be for Halloween.

Yet every October, I start out thinking that "it's not going to be that stressful, tiring, that much work this year." Maybe because I've been doing these same tasks every October for at least the past 5 years and think that it's mostly routine - yet it always is as stressful, tiring and as much (or more) work as the year before, and the year before that... Still, I can't help but go into it with a sense of optimism.

Because I'm an optimist. If something bad happens, my immediate reaction is: "Okay, what's going to make it better? Not..."oh my God, this is the worst possible thing." I believe that bad thing cannot be the focus, because it will be fed by my negative thoughts and become a stronger bad thing. So my focus instead is on what will make it better.

Some people think that is unrealistic - that it is just my way of not facing reality - that this bad thing is there, and the possibility of it getting worse is very real, and what if that worse thing does happen? I know that. I realize that bad things do get worse. And if that bad thing gets worse, I'll face it when it does. But in the meantime, my energy is focused on believing it will get better. Because that does happen too. In my 38+ years of life, I've learned that some bad things get worse, and some get better. So I make the choice to focus my energy on the possible better, not the possible worse.

So next October will inevitably come, and I'll go into it thinking, this year will not be that bad. And I might be wrong. But I believe that someday, I'll be right.

Diversity

2008-10-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

I was with a few friends earlier tonight for an informal 40th surprise party; and only now that I think about it, I realize how different we are from each other. There was: our nanny - who is really a part of our family - and her husband, 21 yr. old daughter and 11 yr. old son; her niece and nephew and their 1 yr. old daughter; all of them are Mexican. The birthday "boy", his wife and 2 daughters (3 and 1) are black. And finally, the couple with their 3 yr. old daughter (who are expecting a second baby in the Spring) are from India.

When I was 8 or 5 - my kids ages - I had very little interaction with families not like mine- white, middle class, suburban. I would never have been exposed to a night like tonight because all of my parents friends were white, middle class, suburban. I didn't sit in a classroom with someone who had a different color skin than me until I got to high school. And even then, the only minority represented was a handful of black girls.

How times have changed. For the better. My kids live a completely opposite childhood from mine. Differences in people's skin color, language, accent, mean absolutely nothing to them. They spend their school day with children who are so diverse that their school is nicknamed "the Rainbow school."

I started this blog by saying how different we all were - but as I write more I realize we're really much more alike than different. We all work to provide for our family, we all get together with friends for life celebrations, and we all teach our kids that people are people - no matter what they look like, what language they speak or what neighborhood they live in.

Hopefully, my kids will never have to teach the same lesson to their kids - it will just be a part of their life.

Dancing with the Stars

2008-10-06T17:32:00.000-07:00

I started writing about the tanking stock market and the economy - but I got depressed and angry. So I stopped.

Then I started watching Dancing with the Stars. It's anything but depressing. I never watched this show before last week. But now I'd be happy to watch it any day. It doesn't bother me like some "reality" shows like Survivor or Big Brother. It's entertaining, fun, and the stars look like they are really having a great time. I could do without all the "fluff" but I guess they do have to fill up two hours. And the Stars don't trash each other - they like doing what they are doing and they don't have to scheme, plot, and bad mouth each other to succeed.

My favorite is Warren Sapp - he's having a GREAT time. For such a big guy, he can move pretty gracefully. He's really enjoying it and just having fun.

Watching the show is just plain fun. Mindless, enjoyable, fun. It's great to lose yourself for an hour or two just watching people dance. Makes me want to take a dance class.

Now that's exercise I might actually enjoy.

Fall and Baseball

2008-10-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

I love fall. The leaves changing, the cripsness in the air, getting my fall and winter wardrobe out of the closet, and many other reasons. But what also defines fall for me is baseball.

I've always been a sports chick. As a kid, I played sports with my town boys and girls club, and at my elementary school. I played basketball, bowling, and softball - because back in the 70's, girls didn't play baseball. And I loved watching sports too: football, basketball, but especially baseball. I went to baseball games at Yankee Staduim as a kid - and have always loved the sport. I still love going to games when I can and was lucky enough - thanks to my Red Sox fan husband committing what is probably considered illegal in Red Sox Nation - to go to a game this past July during the last season in the original house that Ruth built.

Baseball has become a part of my life like no other sport. I can't really explain it. It is still my favorite sport to watch or attend in person. I don't watch much during the summer - it's such a busy time of year. But when fall rolls around, and playoffs start, I'm there. I'm watching whoever is playing - be it the Yankees, Red Sox, or other teams I could care less about. I've got "fall fever" for baseball. I just love it.

Of course, I'd love it a little more if the Yankees were playing - but there's always next year.

2008-10-01T17:07:00.001-07:00

Ahh... the video game. I'm old enough to remember Atari and Pong, and then the way more advanced Asteriods, Frogger and Pac Man - and let's not forget the Gloria Steinem version, Ms. Pac Man. And now... along comes the Wii. We thought we were teaching our son this great lesson in that whatever allowance he saved from January until his birthday (last week) we would match it and buy a Wii. He saved about $100; we matched it 2-1, and now the Wii takes up a prominent place near the big screen TV.

We try to be good parents - in that we limit our kids to 1/2 hour a day on the Wii - which would sometimes become more like an hour if they behaved extra well, or if friends were over. And it didn't bother me so much when they were playing tennis, bowling, or boxing because at least they were moving around. Now I know those don't take a lot of physical activity, but at least you're standing and moving your arms to play those. And now we've moved on to Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario Smash Bros. Brawl. And we've gone back in time - almost counter to what I thought the Wii was supposed to accomplish. For those games, the player is back to sitting on the couch, a controller in each hand, with non-stop fingers moving on both remotes.

But... is there anything really wrong with that? We all grew up with some influence our parents thought bad for us - be it Atari, the Walkman, or Madonna. And we are came out okay in the end. So if my kids get plenty of time outside to balance the 1/2 hr. to hour they spend playing Wii and if they do everything they are expected to do (chores, get dressed, brush teeth) before turning it on, I'm pretty confident they will turn out okay too.

And I'm really looking forward to Santa bringing me the Wii fit for Christmas.