Jokes and Funny Pictures

How to wash a T-shirt

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:12:00 +0000

How to wash a T-shirt
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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Picture of Animals on Stones

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:47:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

An eyeful a day keeps the doctor away.

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 12:39:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Creative Brilliance in Advertisement

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:06:00 +0000


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Innocent Cry

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:40:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Womens are always Clever

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 21:12:00 +0000

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the Mental Hospital."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"

Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"

Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "I know how to please a woman."

Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."

Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."

Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"

Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."

Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."

Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Wow !!! What a Classic Date

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 00:02:00 +0000

PART I

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PART II


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Illusion or Reality ???

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:05:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alies) Arif

Art Eggcident

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:35:00 +0000

Dutch artist Henk Hofstra installed his new environmental art project, titled “Art Eggcident”, in Leeuwarden, Netherlands.Several large eggs (each 100 feet wide) were spread on the Zaailand, one of the largest city squares in the Netherlands.

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Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Monalisa After One Week

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:26:00 +0000

Monalisa After One Week in Africa
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MONALISA AFTER VISITING INDIA


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

How does he Born...???

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 15:02:00 +0000

How does he Born...???

Pappu: Dad how was I born

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Dad: well son, your Mom & I got to gether at 'YAHOO'

we set us a date via E-Mail, & Met in a cyber cafe,

Your Mom agreed to dowload data from my PEN DRIVE,

JUST when I was about to "Transfer"

we realised that none of us have installed "FIREWALL"

IT was too late to DELETE

9 months later a POP-UP Window appeared & said

YOU HAVE GOT A MALE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

New Revolution of Sandals......

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:58:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Perfect way of taking Picture

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:37:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Poor Man"s Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:00:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alies) Arif

Can You Do This???????

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 09:04:00 +0000

Can You Do This???????

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Do you know how these people have Sex ???

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:10:00 +0000

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest -penalty for early withdrawal.
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.

C'Bers do it on the air.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.
COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.
CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.
COPS have bigger guns.
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.

DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.
DENTISTS do it in your mouth.
DETECTIVES do it under cover.
DIETICIANS eat better.
DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.
DIVERS do it deeper.
DOCTORS do it with patience.
DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.
DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.
DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.

ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.
ENGINEERS charge by the hour.
EXECUTIVES have large staffs.

FARMERS spread it around.
FIREMEN are always in heat.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.
FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.
FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.

GARBAGE MEN come once a week.
GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.
GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.
GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.
GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.
GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.

HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.
HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.
HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.
HANDYMEN like good screws.
HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.
HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.
HUNTERS do it with a bang.

INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.
INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.
INVENTORS find a way.

JANITORS clean up afterwards.
JEWELERS mount real gems.
JOGGERS do it on the run.

LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.
LAWYERS do it in their briefs.
LIBRARIANS do it quietly.
LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.
LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.

MACHINISTS make the best screws.
MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.
MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.
MANAGERS supervise others.
MARKETING REPs do it on commission.
MILKMEN deliver twice a week.
MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.
MINERS sink deeper shafts.
MINISTERS do it on Sundays.
MISSILE MEN have better thrust.
MODELS do it in any position.
MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.
MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.
MOVIE STARS do it on film.
MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.

NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.
NURSES call the shots.

OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.
OPERATORS do it person-to-person.
OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.

PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.
PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.
PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.
PILOTS keep it up longer.
PLUMBERS do it under the sink.
POLICEMEN like big busts.
POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-*****ed.
POSTMEN come slower.
PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.
PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.
PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.
PROFESSORS do it by the book.

RACERS like to come in first.
RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..
RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.
REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.
RECYCLERS use it again.
REPAIRMEN can fix anything.
REPORTERS do it daily.
RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.
RETAILERS move their merchandise.
ROOFERS do it on top.
RUNNERS get into more pants.

SAILORS like to be blown.
SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.
SCIENTISTS discovered it.
SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.
SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.
SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.
SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.
SPELUNKERS do it underground.
SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.
STEWARDESSES do it in the air.
STUDENTS use their heads.
SURGEONS are smooth operators.

TAILORS make it fit.
TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.
TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.
TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.
TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.
TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.
TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.
TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.
TYPISTS do it in triplicate.

VETERINARIANS are ***** lovers.
VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.

WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.
WATER SKIERS come down harder.
WELDERS have hotter rods.
WRESTLERS know the best holds.
WRITERS have novel ways.

ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Car fully covered with Pens

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:05:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:21:00 +0000

Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half
discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile

soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well

developed and open to trade, especially for someone

with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India , very hot,
relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France , gently
aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain ,
with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia , lost
some wars, won some great battles but haunted by

past mistakes, still very strong and proud.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia , very
wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet . Off the beaten path,
with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the
ages...still desirable but only those with an
adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge

and true love, dare visit there.


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Father and Son

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:59:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Why women have Two Hands.......

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 19:46:00 +0000

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Why Men have Two Hands.......


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

What it will be if it is not Zebra Crossing ???

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 12:21:00 +0000


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

How to Sleep in Office ?????????

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:12:00 +0000


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Dog on Safari

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:23:00 +0000

Dog on Safari

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company.
One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep doo doo now."

Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.

And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Types of Love

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 03:52:00 +0000

Types of Love


Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif

Mad Mad World

noreply@blogger.com (Syed Abrar (alies) Arif) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:17:00 +0000

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Posted by
Syed Abrar (alias) Arif