mar`jo`rie

Midnight Thoughts: Maybe

2017-12-28T11:38:00.001-08:00

I’m no writer, I’m just plain me, scribbling all my feelings away.

As I lie awake tonight, I think of how we ended up like this.
All those nights we sealed with sweet notes now seemed to be so far away.
I ask myself, “How did this happen?”
Then I go back to missing the way those eyes looked like, before anything ever did happen.
Gone are those moments when you were still sweet and gentle.
Gone are those days when you still look me in the eye and say those three words like you mean it.
Gone are those days when you still cared.
And now all that’s left are memories and stories that I’ll forever keep in my back pocket.

I really thought we’d surpass all the challenges.
And that we will come out strong.
But something along the way changed.
Maybe fate took a little turn to I don’t know where.
And maybe somewhere along those twist and turns, I lost you.
You, the one I cared about the most.
Now you seemed to no longer look at me the way you did before.
I know it was something I’ve done.
I know its was all my fault.
If I can only undo the things I did, I would.
But I don’t blame you for choosing to let go.

And now I lie awake tonight, thinking of ways to fight.
Only to find out there’s nothing left to fight for.
And there are broken things, that cant be repaired.
Things that no longer work the way it used to no matter how good it did before.
No matter how hard you try to revive it.
It just cant be done.
Like a broken heart that stopped beating.
Like a shattered glass that can never be put back together.
This is us now.

Then I realized that maybe, just maybe,
It’s easier to let go of something that’s been hurting you for so long.
Than to keep holding on to it and keep hurting.
Sometimes, the best way is to just let go and let it be.
But to me I say this is not an option.

Change

2015-10-15T07:03:00.001-07:00

I knew that this time would come, that eventually, we'll have to let go of this. I was just too scared to face it. I was too happy to even think about it. These past years, they were the best years of my life. My life when I was with you. Thank you for bringing so much joy and color to my life. I know I can never repay you for everything you did. :(

Today. Bllsht.

Life without you is just so hard. We could have been perfect together. I did not expect it to be this painful. I hate myself for not fighting for this. This thing we have. I know this is real. This is true. And I just hate myself for being so selfish. It's just too much to take.

I understand that the world wouldn't always be in favor of us, of this. And sometimes, life doesn't go as planned. But I will assure you that we will always come back to each other. No matter what. I just know that forever will be possible if we just stay this way. Because I don't want to loose you for good.

I know the pain I feel now is nothing compared to yours. I feel so sad and broken. I feel so guilty for being like this. If only I can take away the pain you're feeling right now. If only I can make everything right again. I would. But I can't.

Letting you go is one of the hardest thing that I will ever do.
You will always be a part of me and I will FOREVER be grateful of your love, and of what we had. I love you.

I am so sorry.
I am very very sorry.

My Feels

2013-10-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

I just want us to be okay. I'm so sorry for what I've said. I admit, a part of it was meant. But... But I don't mean most of them. Right now I'm on the phone with you but I just cant release the words from my mouth. :( It's so hard. This day should be fun. I'm so sorry I ruined it. Gaaahd. I did not mean to hurt you in any way. And to tell you the truth on our last round of that game, I was in the verge of crying, and my heart was beating so fast. I was just so sad that you wanted to give up on something you've worked for for years now. I can't let you give up. Ndi pwede. :( I was so upset, I was able to spill out my feels. Ugh, I just don't want you to think na ndi mo kaya! Kase I know that you can. And you just need a little push. Ayaw kong gumive up ka.

AND NO! I am not disappointed in you. So dont you ever think that you are disappointing me. In fact, I am so proud of you pa nga e! I believe in you and I am here for you come hell or high water. Remember that! Nothing will ever ever ever ever change my feels for you! I will stand by you no matter what. So kalimutan mo na ung sinbi kong may mawawala kung ndi mo yan gagawin. UGHHH! I want to say this to you now(on the phone), but I cant. So I'm writing it here. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I AM SO SORRY :( I just feel so awful I mad you sad. :( This should be a happy night. :(

Love love na us ha?!?!

It's Always Better with You

2013-09-19T08:18:00.001-07:00

Play munaaa!

Halooooh!

I just want to share with the world the happiness and joy that I am feeling right now. I know medyo mababaw to. Pero I really didn’t think that it is possible to feel this way. Well, most of you might not understand kase, medyo mahabang storya na kung bakit kame nagging ganito kaclose.

It’s just so amazing to find a friend who will always be there for you. (Proven and tested!) Yung tipong kaibigan na hinding hindi ka bibigoin. AHHH. A friend who will always remind you of how amazing you are, and how blessed your life is. Someone who will always tell you to appreciate life and to love yourself more and you slowly appreciate the little things in life that you don’t usually appreciate before. Amazing how a person can make a huge impact in your life.

Grabe lang talaga. I can’t believe that this is possible. I can’t believe that it’s possible to love a friend this way, yung genuine love. Yung ah! Di ko maexplain. I’m just so thankful to God for giving me this kind of friendship, and for letting me experience everything that I am experiencing now.

I am so so so happy, and I want to share this everybody, after ten days of not seeing each other, yesterday, I tried to surprise her. We planned to visit her in her house only to find out that she’s not home. :( SAAAAD. But that didn’t stop us. Hinabol namin sya sa bank. But then, di nea pa alam, ayon. It’s just a pure joy to see her after a looooong time. Pero, still she can’t go with us to Tumaga. So ayun, we talk for a little while and after that we had to leave. Ayon, BITIN. And I was just so sad the entire afternoon. I just can’t hide it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy kase, I saw her. Pero ayon nga, I did not expect it to be that short. AGHRR! But then, ok lang, seeing her happy naman din ako. Maraming ngyare that afternoon, when I got home, I was so tired. Ayon, the usual, merienda with the dads and moms here sa bahay. Then sa gabi, I had a chat with her, telling her that I miss the outside world, and how we used to be before this damn war. I told her na, I hope this war ends na and everything goes back to normal na. I got scared somehow because of certain things that I shall not mention here. Hehe. But ayon, she still made me feel better! Ang saya pag may ganito kang kaibigan.

And last night, I realized that she gave up a lot for me already. And that, everything you have today, is a result of your choice yesterday. She made me realize that this friendship that we have, is a choice, and is a result of the choices that we have made. And I agree naman. She chose to stay here last summer. And I, I chose to be with her all the way. And it is by far the best decision I have made!

And kaninang hapon, just as I was about to go insane, she texted me telling me how much she misses me daw. And to tell you honestly, it didn’t help. As in! It made me feel sadder. Kase, I miss her as much as she misses me, pero wala akong magawa kase I’m stuck at home. Yung tipong wala kang magawa para ma-suffice ung pagkamiss mo sknya. AH! As in super down na ako kanina. Only to find out that she was outside our house waiting for me. HAHA! At first, di pa ako naniwala, kase I know, di un papayagan lumabas. When I went to take a peek sa window, di ko pa naopen, I saw a silhouette of a red car, and right then and there, I knew it! Ndi pala sya nagjjoke, so I went out and got inside her car, tapos I cried the Pasig river. Hahahaha! Dala na din ng pagkamiss, and I wasn’t expecting it at all. Hahaaha. OA NA AKO! AHAHAA! Basta, I cried. Dala na din siguro ng emotions na na-accumulate the past few days. War, tapos house arrest, tapos boredom, tapos miss na miss ko na sya. Tapos.. HAA!! Grabe, my emotions just poured out kanina. My feels for her ba! SHEEEP. Ayon, dahil ndi pa ako naliligo, away kong yakapin nea ako. Haha! Pero she insisted e. So I hugged her back! HAHAHA! After that, syempre naligo ako! And we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon together. AHHHH. Best feels ever. After days, fianlly, nagchikahan lang kame and kumain. HAAAA. And nilaro si Gavin. ANG SAYAAA! Na revived and dying heart ko. Amazing!

And to you Regine, thank you for making me appreciate life more. Thank you for giving me the chance to know you. Thank you for every choice you've made for us to reach this far. Thank you so much for everything! I’m so blessed to have you as a sister/friend. Basta, ung mga sinbi ko sayo last night. Hold on to that ha! You’ll always have me. And I will never ever leave you. Minsan lang ako makakahanap ng ganitong klaseng kaibigan, and I will never ever ruin this! Lovelove! I love you so so so much!

Here’s to more happy moments with you!

HAPPY FEELS!

MERIENDAAA!

It's always better with you!

#TBL

*CIAO!

Zamboanga at it's best!

2013-09-14T10:12:00.004-07:00

I just need to let this out.

These past six days was the most, ugh. I can’t find the right term for this, these past seven days is a nightmare. Here in Zamboanga, while the world is busy with their regular routines, people here are suffering, people are in threat, and people are living in fear.

I just can’t think of anything straight anymore. To tell you honestly, this is my first time in a long time to stay home for 6 days STRAIGHT! Watching the news and checking on facebook and twitter isn’t just helping me in me psychologically. This is unhealthy. Seeing and hearing people suffering out there, in the evacuation centers and people being held as hostages and civilians, military and police dying, and knowing I cannot do anything kills me. The first day, I thought that this won’t last long. I said to myself, 1-2 days this’ll be over. And now we are approaching day seven, it really breaks my heart. A lot of people are suffering; I want to ask God why.

But on second thought, I was reminded by one verse in the bible that says

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I hold on to this verse with the hope of a better tomorrow for us Zamboanguenos.

Tonight, I just want to thank someone for keeping me sane the entire week. Even though we are not together, and we never got the chance to see each other this week, I want to thank you for always being there for me! I just can’t imagine life without you anymore. NAA! Words are not enough to express how much I am thankful to God that He has given me a friend like you! HAA! Basta, don't ever go away ha? Don't get tired of me ha? Na na na! To infinity, Babylove!

Too much drama. I so so love you, baby love.

Ciao!

Tonight, August 24, 2013

2013-09-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

Where do I go from this night?

As I am staring at this empty sheet of paper (or doc.), I also think about the past ten months of my life, my life as a Rainbow girl, my life as the Worthy Advisor or LHA.

A lot has been going on my mind these past few days. I really don’t know what will happen next. I must admit that I am terrified and at the same time excited. UGH! (Yung feeling na you want to say more, but you just can’t put the words together? YUN YON!)

Indeed many has changed. Tomorrow evening will mark the end of my term as the Worthy Advisor of La Hermosa Assembly 28.

Haaaaa, Tapos na! I feel so blessed! Amazing! God really makes marvels in our lives, in my life. Grabe, gusto kong magsulat ng mapakahabang blog. But I cannot put all the words together. I mean, there comes a time that you just can’t express the joy that you are feeling inside. And all you can just say is WOW! But sabi nga nila, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Here it goes…

When I decided to join rainbow, I wasn’t expecting anything. As in, wala lang, join ako kase, anak ng mga masons, tapos for socialization, tapos just to meet new friends. I did not think that is it something life changing, until I was appointed Worthy Advisor of the pioneering batch. Pressured! So ayon, I thought I should really take this seriously, since my dad is also a Mason, he was the master in the year 2000. So double pressure, because people are expecting a lot from me. Being the WA, mahirap sya, lalo na’t ndi pa kame magkakilala, all of us, tapos 38 kameng girls. Working with different people, with different personalities is really not easy, but I find it interesting. Kase you get to work with other people with different perspectives, iba ung views nila sa mga bagay-bagay. Decision making is not easy, lalo na not for your own self lang, kasama na rin ung buong assembly. Tapos lahat kame bago, at di ko talaga alam papano simula. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, dapat wag akong mahiya. I have to make this count. So ayon, wala na akong hiya. HAHA! Super. -___- (To the point na nagpavideo ako magisa habang sumasayaw for them to be able to practice the dance at home.)

At first nagkakahiyaan pa, but then as time goes by, medyo nawawala na. Slowly, all of our walls were let down and we began to create strong bonds. I wasn’t expecting this at all. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way. Sobrang laki lang ng impact ng Rainbow sakin. Or sobrang laki lang ng impact ng mga RAINBOW GIRLS saakin. Haha! I just love them so much! Too much!

Ten months of knowing them, sobrang attached na ako sakanila. Lalo na sa pioneer batch, because they were with my from the start. I can just imagine from our institution, to our activities, projects, first ever fund raising event, tapos first ever charity event, first ever LHA overnight, first Christmas as a RG, caroling, tapos .. ahhh! There are so many firsts, any having witness everything is so priceless to me. I’m in awe of how God works in our lives. WOOOH! Ang saya lang ng term na to, I can really say na iba talaga ang samahan namin.

LA HERMOSA ASSEMBLY INSTITUTION
Nov. 4, 2012

Pioneer Hope, Faith, WA, WAA, Charity

Exemplification and initiation of batch 1!

One of the best hugs!

Trisha's first BALOT experience!

To all my sisters, I want you to know, that I will always, always, always be here for all of you no matter what! And even if I’m not the WA anymore, I will always be willing and ready to serve you. I will never get tired of loving you all. HAAA. It’s just amazing how people can make a difference in your life. I’m just so amazed by how God put people in your life perfectly.

AHHHH!!! Things will definitely change after this night, but one thing I am sure of is that, I will make sure it’s for the better!

Adios!

Shattered

2013-04-04T06:38:00.001-07:00

I don’t really know where to start. -____- I’ve been a complete mess! The only thing that is holding me into place now is God, and his mercies on me.

I don’t know what’s going on in my brain, and I don’t know why all these things are happening. I want my old life back! I would do anything for it to be the same again.

It’s when you feel UNWANTED. Masakit. It’s when you feel that people are forced to live with you. -___-

It’s when your own family doesn’t even see the effort you put up just to make things right.

It’s when your 18 and you can’t even go out of the house when you want to.

It’s when EVERY SINGLE MOVE YOU MAKE IS WRONG!

That’s when everything falls apart.

APRIL. I hope it gets better each day. I pray that this adjustment period won’t last long. I just so down right now. And I can’t even go out to meet with my friends. -_______- I can’t really understand why he’s trying to put me into this cell. I’m not used to this life. I just hope he understands. -_______- I love him. I just don’t understand.

@MissMarjj

More of MissMarjj 01-03

2013-03-23T01:04:00.000-07:00

Hi, I am so so sorry for not updating for quite sometime. FIRST BLOG OF ZE YEAR!

It's already summer! Nako! Ang dami nang nangyare. Nakakapagod i-explain one by one!

But un, I finally decided to really move on. And this time I mean it. I wrote a blog at themeandtheyou stating everything that happened so yeah. I am just so bored to death. By the way, lumipat na kame ng house. And IT IS SO BORING HERE! -______- And you know what? I feel so lonely. :( I just hope makaadujust kame dito ng maayos. By this time I still haven't formulated a very sensible title for this blog since I am writing this randomly. So please excuse my randomness. :))))

What am I suppose to write now?

I was thinking of happiness. How can you have happiness? What are you willing to give up for your happiness? Are you willing to hurt other people just to be happy? Things about happiness.

Or Pain? I was thinking to blog about pain, but then, I felt that it wasn't the best topic to talk about at the moment, because that would definitely not help me. So nope I would not do PAIN.

I was thinking about FOOD. But then, to lazy to think of the subtopics. SOOOOOOOO. Nope, not food.

I was thinking about music. YES! Music is GOOD. But I am so not updated lately. So my blog would be like so lame. Maybe I'll do a music BLOG after I complete the list my fave songs. SOOON!

Soooooo, im so not in the mood do to some thinking. So I thought I should just write updates about myself! Since this is my first blog for the year! I know it's a bit late, it's been really crazy these past 3 months. So yeahhhh. I'll do some updating thing.

JANUARY!

So here's what happened to me last january. God, I hope I can remember it. :))

I'll ask Facebook's help once in a while THANKS to the TIMELINE I can easily check what happened to me last January. OKAY.

01.19.13

Fritzy's Debut I would not write a lot about this but I surely posted this as BEST DAY for the year. I know it's too early. But yeah, ONE OF ZE BEST!

01.26.13

Of course, Our dad's installation of officers. Syempre, di kame pahuhuli with out white gowns. I can find a photo of us when we were singing. HAHA! Epic night for us. Pero ok na yon. :)

I think these are the highlights for January. Nothing more.

FEBRUARY!

Hi LOVE MONTH!

02.03.13

We went to St. Francis Homes and spread the love to all the kids who were there.

Thanks to Sis. Tiffy who decided to share her birthday with them.

02.14.13

Happy valentines day! It's a thursday and we have an event at Garden Orchid Hotel. Thanks to our Dad's help, we were able to put up a booth at their Dine and Wine event with Ms. Gizelle Sanchez. We sold cupcakes, chocolates, and roses. ALSO! May Photobooth.

Hala, I cant find other photos. :( I dont know kung nasaan na sila. :(

02.15.13

Our Brother Demolay's Fund raising event at Cape Zambo. :)

Post-valentines date with friends. :)

02.16.13

Installation of our dad from lodge #45. Had so much fun.

02.23.13

CYF's Dinner for a cause. For our FUN ROOM :)

02.24.25

CIENTO!
Ang galing si BRO MC!

Yeah! That's all for FEB! Ang dami na palang ngayare. OKAY! Let's Go MARCH!

MARCH

03.02.13

Actually March 1 talaga ang birthday ng sister ko, but she celebrated it on March 2. Ayon. Had fun naman!

03.03.13

Dinner with my BABES. :) Hari and Jeffrey. I just love them soooo
I can be myself when I'm with time.

03.09.13

It's Joshua's birthday, went to town to buy some gifts for him. First time ko syang bigyan ng gift. Im such a bad cousin. So yeah. Ayon. I had wilbur go with me. Then in the evening we went to our MOMS' Installation.

03.16.13

Blood letting activity with the brothers and Project hair cut for the kids at DSWD. :)
Happiness. :D

03.22.13

Mom's birthday. I will not say much. Because it's complicated.
To my mom, I LOVE YOU BIG TIME! I SUPER DO!!!

OKAY!

That's a wrap for this March. Well i'm not sure of what's going to happen till the end of march I hope it's going to be good. Thumbs up to all the people who were with me and who made my almost-first-quarter of the year extra special!

I LOVE YOU GUYS xx

More of me @MissMarjj. :)
*Ciao!

Welcome 2k13!

2012-12-31T07:58:00.001-08:00

OH hiii!!

Finally! The Page 366 of 366, it’s time to finally say goodbye to the year 2012.

Today, was really great. I made California makis. YEEEEEY! And I went out to cut my hair, and watched a movie with a friend. It was fun. Really. I had a great day. It’s almost midnight here. And I can hear fireworks booming already. So here’s a shoutout to all of you.

Happy Happy New Year to Everyone!

Let’s welcome the year 2013 with open arms of happiness and joy! Yeay!

God bless us all!!!

Welcome 2013!

@MissMarjj

Page 360 of 366

2012-12-24T22:48:00.003-08:00

It’s Christmas day!

MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVES!!!

Six days before we completely leave 2012 and step in to the New Year 2013. I just want to say thanks for a wonderful year that you have given me, 2012. And I just hope and pray that year 2013 will be better! I am looking forward to more and more happiness and love love love.

Soooo, I’m formulating my NEW YEAR CHANGES, Or New year’s resolution.

Let me just have a recap of my resolution this year, and see if there are really changes. =)

1. BE HEALTHY – No frienchfries, sleep early. Less soft drinks, less sweets, start swimming again.

- OKAY, For the Frenchfries – CHECK! I stopped eating fries this year. And I can just count the fries that I ate with my fingers and toes. YEAHOOOO!

- SLEEP EARLY – NOPE! Total FAIL. HAHA. Still got huge bags under my eyes.

- Less soft drinks – CHECK! Really really was a success! As in, I was really shocked that I avoided soft drinks the entire year. And If ever I drank soft drinks, it’s when the situation call for it. Or if wala na talagang choice. Ayon. Promise. I am so happy that I fulfilled this change this year.

- Less sweets – soft drinks are sweet, so yeah, sweets naglessen nga. But, im not really sure if it did, kase, I really love chocolates e. But I know this year, I controlled myself toward these tempting goodies. I just wish I ca measure all the sweet foods that I ate this year.

- Swimming – SUPER CHECK! As in, this year, I got my first gold medal at swimming. Wala lang. I started swimming again this year. YAY ME!

HEALTHY LIVING? – ALRIGHT! CHECK, CHECK, AND CHECK!

2. Study HARDER – Uhmmmm.. Do assignments, projects, and do advance readings.

- Do assignment – UHM. I don’t know. I guess soo.. HAHA. I do my assignments naman e.

- Do projects – I do my projects to.

- Advance readings – NOOOOO. NO NO NO =))

STUDY HARDER? --- Im not that sure. But hey, I’m still an accountancy student. I guess it worked. :D

3. GOD

– - Be right back on track with God.

- I stayed with God the entire year. He knows everything naman e. :D

- I love You, God, and I hope and pray that You help me prove it to you every single day.

SO GOD- CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! =)

4. BE HAPPY, BE INLOVE.

- I don’t know. HAPPY, YES, I was very much happy the entire year. INLOVE. Ahhh. I don’t know. I guess only God knows when that will happen. I trust in him, He know every single detail about my life. And I just have to trust him. I know He’s got a perfect timing! =))

Over all, this year’s resolution was pretty much fulfilled. I’m so happy that it turned out okay. And not ako DRAWING sa mga yon. Mostly kase, di nafufulfill. Till the first few months lang. and then, everything is forgotten na. Im happy that I wasn’t merely written in my blog but it was also fulfilled during the year. OOOH Yeah!

I gotta go na! Muslim wedding at GOH. Ehe, this is my first time to attend one. Really excited.

Will continue this later!

@MissMarjj

Ciao!

With Love and Thanksgiving

2012-12-24T07:30:00.002-08:00

Oh hi, it’s me again. It’s Christmas Eve here. Ahh.. Time really flies when you’re enjoying. It’s Christmas once again. I can’t believe it. It’s like I just did my “Day to day blog 5” the other month and now I’m doing my “year-end blog thank you part” already! Ang bilis! Well, this blog is all about the THANKSGIVING part. J Thanks to all those people who were with me and helped me in my laughter and tears this year. Well, here’s a shout out for all of you!

THANK YOU!!!

To my family, Mama, papa, Joyce, ako-neng, Tito Junie, Joshua, to my ever loving Lola ester, to my tita langga and tita bhing, to diko-Lillaine, Tito Jerome, and Tito Jerry and his family, to everyone in the family, THANK YOU! Thanks for showing your love and concern to me. And to my Papa, and Mama, and Ako-neng, Thank you for everything, thank you for the loooong sermons you give me everytime I do something bad. I learned a lot. And because of that, I became a better person. Words can’t barely explain how I feel. Pero Thank you talaga! To my sister, Joyce, hay nako, SPEECHLESS! HAHA! Kidding, thanks nalang din kay palagi mo akong inaaway. HAHA!!! Okay, bye. To everyone, I might not tell this on a daily basis, but I love you guys so so much!!! I’m just not that showy sa feelings ko towards my family. HAHA!

To my second family, Tita Sharon, Tito William, Wilbur, Chrisha, Shan-Shan, & Shoti thanks for everything. Tita sha, you know how much ako thankful for having you as my mom in law. HAHAHAHAHA! Pero joke lang. Thanks tita, thanks for being good mother to all of us. To tito William, uhmmmmm… Thank you po. Hehe, For treating me as your anak na din. As in, I’m very touched talaga sainyo ni tita. And I love you both po. To Wilbur, HAY NAKO. Ok. Alam mo nay an. I don’t need to say it here. You know naman na lahat ng gusto kong sabhin sayo, mind reader ka e! ;) HAHA! K. I just want to really thank you for being there for me. Although you once failed, that doesn’t mean that you will keep on doing that. You’re a really smart guy, and you know that. I hope na this relationship we have will never ever change. Yun lang. I really really love all of you.

To my dearest churchmates, my brothers and sisters in Christ, I would like to really thank you for always being there for me. To Pastor Lorraine Rojas Anito, who’s been really patient with me, THANKYOU! Pas, thank you for always lending your ear to me when I need someone to listen, thank you for you advices, and all! Alam mo naman yan pas, I don’t need to make drama pa here and thank you din for always encouraging me when I am down, and correcting me on my mistakes thank you! To Jane, Thank you sa lahat. I really saw the changes in you. As in, WOW. Nagmature ka tlga. Naks, And because of that I respect you bigtime, kahit na palagi mo akong tinetenta. Thanks parin. TO EVERYBODY IN THE CHURCH, lalo na the young people, thanks for inspiring me. Thank you din for helping me in my spiritual life. Thanks!

To my CLASSMATES! BSaC-E!!! Thank you classmates for helping me ha! Thanks for being there pag kailangan ko ng help sa mga assignments and quizzes. THANKS! To CHERIE, na never nagsasawang magGM sa buong class. I know na sometimes it’s hard na, kase pasan mo ang lahat ng announcements sa lahat ng classe, buti nalang ndi sila nagsasabay. THANKS HA! J To my ever loyal tutor, MARKO! HAHAHA! Oy markiii, Thanks sa tyaga mo sa pagturo saakin sa accounting ha! As in, ver much appreciated yan ditto sa aking puso. As in! To Vivien “HIVivi, VEV” THANK YOU HA, for making me laugh all throughout the year, alam mo nmn na Love na love kita! ;) Char! To MITZIBELS, Thanks tlaga for beng a good and caring friend to me! Alam mo naman yan, THANK YOU! Love you!!! And to everyone na in the class, I won’t not mention all you na kase, di ko alam ang spelling ng name neo. Huh? HAHA! Joke lang. Basta, Thanks for the friendship. And YEA, I’m sorry kung KJ ako, at di sumasama sa mga outing, actually, since HS, di talaga ako pala sama sa mga outing, pasensya naaa. And kung di ako parating sumasama sainyo, sorry. Busy kase parati ang lola niyo e! HAHA! Bsta, Thank you guys for all the things we’ve shared the entire year! Next year ulit ha! ;))

To my RAINBOW GIRLS! Ha, Although bago lang tayong lahat nagkakilala , I still thank you for being a friend and sister to me. Super fun to be with talaga kayo, from day one palang, and kahit na super-duper ingay neo sometimes to the point na talbog neo na ang loudness ko, at di na kayo nakikinig sa mga announcements ko, thank you parin. HAHAHA! Kidding aside, I want to really thank you guys for sharing a part of your life to me. Thank you for the friendship na binigay neo saakin. And ofcourse, thank you for all the fun memories that you have given me this year. And just to shoutout the girls who asked me to include them in my blog, here na oh! JOYCE CARPITANOS && MONINA LEDESMA! Oh ayan ha! Nagiging unfair na ako sa iba. J) HAHAHA! Anyways, to all the girls, always remember that I am here for you, if you guys need someone to talk you, all of you naman already have my number and you can call me. Anytime! I’ll listen. I love you girls! Thanks for making my year extra fun! ;)

AND NOW, To my friends!

First stop, ALBERTO TE! Chenen!!! Hi Bert! Hehe, Thank you sa lahat, thank you kase, di mo ako iniiwan kahit my lakad ka pa iba. Niwwait mo tlga until may kasama na ako. Thanks tlaga. As in, THANKS! I really appreciate it! And thanks din for being a good classmate and friend to me. Sana next year ganon parin. ;)

Nestor Lopez-vito – Hi nez, it’s been quite a while since I last talked to you. I would like to say thanks for being a friend to me. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for everything this year. I know thing are different now. And sometimes, things are better as it is. We should let the sugat heal first. You mean a lot to me, Nez. And it pains me to see us like this now. But I have to deal with this. Thanks for all the laughter and joy you shared with me this year.

Jeffrey Yu – hoy bebijep! Thank you for everything this year ha… Thanks for being a good friend to me; you’re like a brother to me, and I know that you know that naman! Thank you for all those dinner out and shawarma night we had. As in, trust me, na-appreciate ko talaga na anjan ka always for me. And even though you don’t really tell me that you care, I know, because I feel it. Thanks, JEF.

Sherlie ann Yu – Hey GETCH, =) I know there’d been a lot of changes these days, but I still want to thank you for all the fun memories you gave me and shared with me this year. Heaven knows how much I treasure those memories. Thanks for giving me the chance to get to know you more. Alam mo naman na, is aka sa mga nagging ka close ko this year. And even though it’s very different now, I still want you to know that I’m happy that it all happened, I mean, we could have stayed together much much longer, but I am contented of what we had. Thanks for the friendship!

Jamila Aceberos – Hi, uh.. I still want to thank you for making me happy this school year, particularly during the first semester. It was when I really realized the true meaning of sacrifice in friendship. Thank you for everything.

Yvonne Napao && Ridx Saral – Hey Gf and Ridx, thanks sa lahat this year, ung mga lakad and practices natin. I will surely miss that. Thanks for being a good friend. I know that I am not perfect and I might have said something against you or ano ba, I just want to say sorry for all the misunderstandings and thank you for all the memories. Alam neo naman yan! Love you girls! ;)

Pia Atilano, Kat Mercado and Cidney Enriquez - Thanks girls! You know naman na why. You guys were there when I needed someone to comfort me. And I just want to thank you girls! And always remember na you can't count on me if you need anything. Love you girls! :)

Laika Ibrahim – Hey hey hey! LAIKA! This time, I would really want to HUG you. Thanks talaga Laiks, for being such a good and honest friend to me. Alam mo naman ako, tatanga-tanga, thanks for everything that you have done for me. This year lang naman tlaga tayo nagging “close”. Thanks for trusting me, and lending me your ears when I need someone to talk to. I really appreciate it. Alam mo yan. Love na love na love kita. I hope that this friendship would last a lifetime. Mwah! Thanks din pala kay Rajeev. For all the favors na nagawa nea for me, and also for the advices, and also for being a good friend to me.

Nico To – Hoy Loviee ko, Okay, More than 1 year na tayong friends. Naalala ko ung first conversation natin, “Happy birthday!” hahaha. Okay.. So much for that, thank you for everything. Sa friendship, sa trust, sa memories. And evern for lending me your phone. =)) HAHAHA! Thanks din sa pakikinig nung kailangan ko ng kausap. Kahit paminsan, ay! Palagi pala. Kahit palaging deloko ang response mo. Okay lang kase napapatawa mo naman ako. Thanks for everything! For the advices and also, ung libre mo nung malapit ka nang umalis. I miss you, lovie ko. HAHA! Uwi naaaa..

Mawi Tulawi – BETCH!!! Thank you so much sa lahat. Alam mo, you mean a lot to me. Thanks for keeping me company and for sharing a lot of things to me. Thank you. J alam mo kung gaano kit aka love. And I’ll always be here for you!!! <3 font="font"> I hope that our friendship would really last a lifetime. Love love love you!

Gerauld Vallecer – I remember back in highschool, this guy used to be a snob. Super taray talaga. and even in college, grabe, still a snob. Until we finally got a little close, with nico’s help. Nagging ok na kame. And I want to say, thank you for all the advices you gave me. Thanks din for the dance steps you shared to us. I miss you na GE! I hope you come home soon! Love love love you!

Diane Reyes – Hey, SUSHMITA! My ever super daldal girlfriend. Even though we barely know each other, ang gaan na ng loob ko sayo. And the first bonding that we had, was legit! As in, thank you for making me feel comfortable. And thank you for being there for me when I needed a friend. It meant a lot to me. I hope we get closer next year! Love yah!

To my Brother DeMolays, thank you! Thank you so so much for treating us well since day one. Thanks for being good bros to us. Ehe, To Raf, Fay, Mitch, Zen, Ron, Jason, Pj, Allan, Benj, Dk, AND RJ, Thanks for helping us sa booth. I can’t mention everybody na, basta alam neo naman who you are. Thanks! Merry Christmas!

Hari Perez – You know I love you my bonjing friend. Thanks for being an awesome fashinista friend. You mean a lot to me. Cute cute ka talaga forever! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!

Jerk Team – Okay, I never was a part of this group. Kase, not naman tlga ako masyado sumasama sakanila. But thank you guys for keeping me company ha. Thank you for everything. And thank you for being a good friend to me. Jade, Jame, Jnel, Bert, Jink, Kring, Vincent thanks you. :D

Wilbur Yeo – Hey babe, I still want to thank you for making me feel special. And for all the sacrifices you have done for me. Alam ko feel mo di ko un naaappreciate, but honestly, I do. I am happy that we regained the friendship that we had before. You are special to me, and even though you once failed me, it won’t erase the fact that you’ve played a big part of my happiness too. Thank you, Mr. Froggie/Mr. Stressed/Mr. Pogi/Mr. Yeo. Mahal kita, alam mo yan. :)

AND FINALLY!

THANK YOU TO MY LORD AND SAVIOR. God, thank you for everything! I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t because of you. Thank you for giving me all of these friends. Thank you for giving me a good family. Thank you for making me strong. Thank you for all the blessings. And thank you for giving me trials, hardships, and pain. If not because of all these, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today. THANK YOU LORD.

And more importantly, thank you for sending your son here on earth to save us once and for all, even though we don’t deserve it. Thank you for the unconditional love that I know I can never repay. God, I love you. And please, help me prove it to you every single day. Thank you, Jesus. :)

OKAY, To my readers, I think that’s not all, there’s more to thank, but I can’t name all of them. Alam neo na kung sino kayo. Thanks you for everything! I wish you all the best in life. God bless!

I wish you all a Merry Merry Christmas!

@MissMarjj

NO REGRETS, JUST LESSONED LEARNED

2012-12-23T08:23:00.001-08:00

Alright! I’m going to start with my year-end blog na! WEEEHH! Okay. So, What have I done this entire year? Hmmmmm. Ang dami na talaga e. I don’t remember them in details na e. But I want to have a review of all the good and bad that had happen to me this year. OHHH.. This’ll be a long one.

AY! Before anything else, I would like to extend my holiday greetings to each and every one! Merry Christmas && A happy new year! J May God bless us all!

Okay, this year has been so crazy. I felt so blessed this year. I am happy that all of these things happened. I don’t regret anything na. Kase before I thought of something that I did that I really felt that I have to regret. But then, I realized that when I was doing the act, what I did was just to follow my heart. And I was happy back then. So for me, I will never regret anything that once made me happy. So yeah. NO REGRETS, JUST LESSONED LEARNED. Just to highlight that events I had this year.

1. 1. I learned to play BLITZ! Now, What is blitz? Blitz is, http://www.dutchblitz.com/.

So there, actually I wasn’t the only one who learned to play blitz. I think all of us in church learned to play blitz. Because of the YWAM, they brought blitz with them and while we were in church they taught us to play. And it is really fun to play. In fact I ordered one but unfortunately, wala parin sya until now. Here’s a picture of us playing blitz and the YWAM team!

Here's a picture of the YWAM team. (Youth With A Mission)

It's us, playing blitz!

2. We came up with a mini dance group! The first time we danced was on our P.E night. I met a friend her name is Jam, we became pretty close also with Andrei and the rest. The second time we danced was on our acquaintance party. And then we joined a dance competition during the BLACKOUT party, and we won. YEY! Then we had a repeat performance during the.. I forgot what was that, basta centennial year event un. OKAY. Will also post some photos.

Acquaintance party!

Repeat performance
Centennial Celebration

1. 3. Then I met Mawi. J Hihi. We became pretty close. I call her BETCH. Well 3 yun kame Mawi, Jam, and I. One of the new friends I met this year. But we manage to stay close despite of our opposite schedules and all. Tapos we love to hang out talaga sa Island bubble tea, pero closed na un.

To mawi: I AM HAPPY THAT I MET YOU. :D Really, I am! *DRAMA :)))

I also met LAIKA! Who is laika to me? Hmmm.. I met laika at school. She’s a year older than me, I met her in the time of my distress. WOW! DISTRESS! She comforted me nung time na yon. And she also became a really good friend of mine. We share a lot of chikkas talaga! As in, if we seat in one place for the entire day, I don’t think that we will ever get bored. HAHA! Feel ko lang. Madaldal talaga ako! Ay KAME pala. Hahaha. And even though she’s older than me and we have different schedules, she still finds time to keep in touch and be updated with each other’s lives, this is what I love about her the most! As in, kahit lunch together, or merienda together, we can manage to talk about tons of things na talaga! She is so fun to be with talaga. She has a lovely soul and a beautiful heart! I love her din tlga! <3 ayeee.="ayeee." nbsp="nbsp" span="span">

Wala kameng picture together. Cant find one. @@
To Laika: Ang saya lng makahanap ng friend like you. Chos! I am blessed to have come to know you.

I met a new chikka buddy/girlfriend, her name is diane! As first, I thought we would click, because maybe she would not like me, but then it turned out that we were like A-OKAY together! As in, I wasn’t expecting it to be like that. And out “Laag” was really fun. And I just laughed a lot that time. I like her. I really do. I hope I get to know her more next year. Would not pro’lly meet until the next year, she’s out of town e. Okay. So yon, It’s really fun around her. We still don’t have any picture together. But soon, magkakaroon din kame! :DDDD

No picture together YET -
To Diane: Thanks for being a friend when I need one! Love you!

4. The CYF welcome night. Presenting the “Youth-outside-the-box” OOOH YEAH! It was finally the time to launch our new youth title. It was crucial on picking what title would fit our youth. Since last year we had a Youth undivided. So yeah, we figured, with God’s help that it’s about time for us to go and reach out to those people who doesn’t know Christ yet. So there, we chose youth-outside-the-box! And that night there were no game, we only had this role play. Wherein, the officers will have to play a role, they/we will have to act as people who don’t know Christ and people who think they don’t need God. There were to scenarios, one is in an office, or company, people there were rich, and they think that they don’t need god anymore. The other one is in a squatters area, where in the people there are suffering and they think that there is no God. And they think that if there is a God, that God has forsaken them. So the young people who came to the welcome night were asked to share to these unbelievers whatever they know about God. And their main goal is to win souls for God. So it was like a drill. And note that these CYFers who came wasn’t informed that they will have to share the word. So there, it was a success. We had praise and worship, and sang praises to God. I saw new faces, and I am glad that these new faces stayed with us and became a part of the family as time goes. Soyeah, everything went well with God’s grace. And everything was a success. Thank you, Lord.

Welcome night! CYFers

This was the drill on sharing the word.
Role play. :))

1. 5. And by the end of the first semester, we had this interclass swimming competition. Since swimming was our P.E. So yeahhh. It was soooo fun. An amateur swimming competition. Our class won overall. YEAHOO! And I also won as the most outstanding swimmer. CHAR. So first time ko magkamedal sa sports. HAHAHA! Masaya. The experience that great! And it stirred up my interest for swimming even more. Kase, since I was a child it was the only sport I know. Kaya ayon. And I am lampa at all sports na. HAHA. K. Fun experience.

1. 6. The IORG was established here in Zamboanga. Mom Rose appointed me as the WA(Worthy Advisor), in other words. President. Ayon. It is fun being a Rainbow girl. I met new friends and ayon, hinahasa ako maging leader. Sana lang talaga, by the end of my term, maayos ang lahat. Will post some photos of the installation.

7. My birthday! YEAHOOO! Im finally 18! Lady na daw. Okay. So my birthday wasn’t engrande. I didn’t have a party or anything. I want it to be simple. I was shocked nga na I wanted it that way. I’m the typical maarte girl kase. Pero nung my birthday was fast approaching, and my dad asked me what I wanted to do, I just said na, don’t want a party, money and or travel nalang. So ayon, but still I was torn between party and the money and travel. Pero thing about parties is that, nakakatamad magprepare. As in. I don’t want anything na makakadagdag stress pa. And then, magastos pa. ME NO LIKEY NA. So yon, wala nang party. Plus, I didn’t feel happy few days before my birthday, parang down tlaga ako. For some reasons. And then my birthday came. Then my dad said that, we will have dinner at his place after my class daw. So sabi ko, OKAY. I’d love that naman. Sad thing is that my mom wasn’t with us. Separated na sila e. L Ayon, so when I arrived, they had balloons all over tapos my friends si papa there and then sila Ako-neng and her family was there din. Tapos, impromptu, I invted Wilbur. J Sayang nga di ko nainvite sila Pastor e. Pero yon,binigyan ako nila papa ng bouquet of roses. As in 18 roses talaga. Wow naman. Na surprise tlga ako. Ayon, my day ended happily naman. As in, right then and then, I knew that I was blessed! I love you, God.

Halata bang ndi ako prepared. Di ako nkapagayos oh! @@

1. 8. The Ateneo Fiesta! The DeMolay and Rainbow had a booth during the aftest. We planned it to raise funds for the AdZU DeRa. It was pretty much a success for a newbie. J HAHA, We didn’t really had a background on these things. We sold BBQs, floats, finger foods, and shawarma! And the entire atfest, was sooooooo tiring. PROMISE! But even though pagod talaga, it was worth it! We became closer as bros and sisters, as in, the bond became stronger. And that’s just nice. WORTH IT! :D

Atfest buddies! A bond as strong and thick as blood!

My favorite customer. =))

1. 9. AAO swimming competition. Yey! Okay, I just swam sa relay. So, two events yon. We got GOLDS! Tapos, ayon. Masaya, all the tiring trainings paid off. And this was my 2^nd swimming competition. Great experience. Kahit taplak ako magdive. =))

10. Rainbow Christmas Carol! FUN! FUN FUN! Okay, it wasn’t really the usual caroling that we go house to house. What we did was the distributed letters, and surprisingly the dads didn’t want us to go to their houses, instead they gave us money nalang. Many of them did the same. So in just one night we became rich na. HAHA! Just kidding. Then the dad’s invited us to go to their party and have our caroling there. And again, in just one night we became very rich! Haha!

Okay, 10 significant events this year. If you guys noticed, I didn’t include the bad things. Well, I blogged about sad things that happened to me naman this year, you can read it there instead. I don’t want to ruin the happy aura that this blog have naman. J) Okayyy.

I would like to post close this jam-packed year-end blog by saying that life is a constant change. What we have today might not be the same tomorrow. And the only thing that is permanent in this world is CHANGE. People come and go, friends come and go but true friends stay. You can’t always be happy; sometimes you have to experience pain. And that pain will help you become a better person in the future. I’m just happy that I came to realize all this. It’s sad when people you love and care about leave you. But the important thing there is you learn to accept. And then slowly, you move on. Over all, this year has been wonderful year for me. I hope next year will be better! :D

And finally having said all this, this year was truly a blessing and a lessoned learned for me! As in, I can’t thank God enough for all the things that he has done for me my entire life. And as we celebrate Christmas this year, let us all remember what Christ did for all of us. Forget about the gifts, foods, gatherings, etc. Remember a baby was born in a manger to save us. May God bless you guys! :)

Happy holidays everybody!

Be safe!

Ciao!

@MissMarjj

Betrayal

2012-12-20T07:46:00.000-08:00

Oh hi. I’ll have to make bulalas my sama ng loob here.

It’s been a roller coaster ride this year.

So, before I post my year-end blog. I just want to blog about what is going on with me lately. I am a mess. I am hurt. BIGTIME! Yung feeling na tinraydor ka ng lahat ng pinagkakatiwalaan mo. Ugh, What did I do to deserve this. @@ Okay.. Lemme begin with how I figured things out. It was a Tuesday afternoon. I was having dysmenorrhea so I went to the clinic and ask for medicine. Then the nurse said that I’ll have to eat first before I drink the med. So I did. When I was at the caf, I saw a friend. I was shocked, because I haven’t seen her for YEARS. So we had a little chat blab la blab la bla. Until she said something that totally broke my heart.

Everybody knows that I love HIM so much. I mean, everyone knows we were an item back then. They knew that Wilbur and I are pretty much friends after the break up. If you have read my previous blogs at http://itsus-themarjorie.blogspot.com/ you’ll know. So yeah, our relationship is.. I just cant explain it. It’s something that’s there forever. It is something that would really last. US, Friends. We were important to each other And I.. I trusted him so so so much! And I did. I trusted him because of all the things that we’ve been through, because I love him still.

And I have this girl friend, I met her in school. She’s nice. And FUN to be with. In fact, we became super close, like sisters. We do things together. I share tons of things with her too. I tell stuffs to her about my, family, my emotions, and of course my love for my EX, who is still my friend now. And Im pretty much contented and happy that I have her even though I don’t have a “LOVELIFE” I wasn’t bored. She really was fun to be with. And this girl that I really love, became really close to my heart. And I just… trusted her also. I did. Truly did. God knows I did.

(This is going to be a long blog. Brace yourselves my imaginary readers)

So this girl friend of mine and my ex met each other. Also I introduced her to a couple of my friends in high school too. So yeah, we became pretty close. We hang out every now and then. AS IN! SUPER. I just had so much fun. But then, things got complicated with in the barkada. Something happened. I had my mistake too. But I tried to patch things up. But everything’s changed. Everyone became awkward with me. And I suddenly didn’t understand what was going on. And that girl friend of mine suddenly changed her treatment towards me. And I started to dislike her. I slowly figured her attitude, and I sort of did not like it. And our attitudes clash. And, I admit, I started to hate her already. But then, I denied the hate and said to myself that maybe I was just over reacting and maybe it was my mistake. But then she slowly boxed me out of the group. I don’t know if she was the only one who was doing that, or all of them suddenly had a problem with me. So yeah, we were four in the group. But then suddenly, she doesn’t text me anymore, or asks me where I was. And they were all together and I was.. Ugh. Alone. I noticed that somehow they were trying to keep something from me. So I kept my distance I didn’t push myself to them. I kept myself busy and did the things that I needed to do. I met new friends too. God helped me every step of the way. I started to accept that things would never be the same again, that I would never be friends with her again, and I just have to deal with this. I just have to be civilized. Though I was hurt badly, I kept myself intact. I kept myself contained. And God knows how much I was hurt badly. More than everything I felt abandoned.

But! I started to make friends with others too. I had my rainbow girls, and our demolay brothers. We hang out too. Especially during the Ateneo fiesta, we had our booth, and we worked as a team which drew us even more closer as brothers and sisters. So yeah, it pretty much covered the pain. And I eventually let it go. Me, her, our friendship, everything I just let it go. And I was contented with what I have at the moment. My rainbow girls, my new found brothers, and Wilbur. Of course my family was also in, also Wilbur’s family. I love them! AND! Above all, I had God. So yeah, that was pretty much it. I GUESS….

BUT THEN, That faithful Tuesday afternoon, someone told me something that I never expect would happen. Something that was impossible to happen. It was impossible FOR ME. Because I TRUSTED them, because I was to stupid. They failed me.

“Oh my ---, Marj, Im sory, I thought you knew”

“huh?”

“Guys, she doesn’t know.”

And I was like, WHAT?!?! So lahat ng mga suspetcha ko totoo? LAHAT NG EVIDENCE was pointing to that! Yung suddenly magkasama na sila. Ung masyado silang close, ung… moments na napapansin ko na, pero dineny ko kase, sabi ko, masyado lang ako nagseselos or paranoid lang ako. And aside from break na naman kame, I trusted THEM. I said to myself pa nga, “Marjj, kalma, impossibleng mangyari yang iniisip mo, kase ndi yan nila magagawa sayo, bestfriend mo yan, alam nea lahat ng pinagdaanan ninyo ni wilbur, alam neang mahal mo pa si Wilbur, at higit sa lahat, mahal ka nean. Di nya magagawa yan sayo. At si Wilbur din, mapagkakatiwalaan mo yan. Mahal ka nean, at ayaw na ayaw ka nean saktan. Besides, my prinsipyo yang taong yan, at di nya rin type ang bestfriend mo! Wag kang OA, napakababa naman ng tingin mo sakanila kung magiisip ka ng ganyan. Umayos ka! Im-po-ssi-ble! Okay?” Kaya I ignored all the signs, and I let it pass me. Ung mga nagsasama sila ung nakahiga na sya sa lap ni Wilbur, ung nag hug sila sa harap ko. WEW! All I thought was wala lang yon. Damn, everytime naaalala ko, it kills me inside. Damn! @@ Ang sakit. I ignored everything because I trusted them. I was stupid! And it hurt so much! The moment I knew it, my heart was shattered into pieces again. AS IN! MMMMMASAKIT! It was like, tama ka pala Marjj. All along your suspicions was right. But you ignored them, all because you trusted them! HAYYYY! Bien dwele! @@

And now, it’s so hard to forget. It’s like ang sakit e. I comes so sudden kase, when I’m doing nothing, bigla king maaalala. Tapos mapapaiyak ang ako. Grabe, I just didn’t expect this from them. Knowing na alam na din pala nag buong barkada but no one had the guts to tell it to me. Bien dwele. -_____- L Then Wilbur and I had a conversation, we talked and he apologized. Sincerely apologized. And tears were all over the place, I can’t help but cry tlaga e. Ang sakit lang. OA na kung OA, perooooo.. Ang sakit lang e. Okayy. I know it’s easier to forgive than to forget. And it’s going to take a long long time for me to be able to remember it and yet not get hurt. It’s going to take a long time for me to be able to move on from this. And it’s going to take a long time to rebuild that trust that I had for Wilbur. The pain will eventually go away. The cut will eventually turn into a scar, symbolizing the pain that was once there.

It will be a long process of healing.

I will be okay, just not today. I will be okay, sooner.

I pray to God that He will give me the strength to forgive and move on. I know that he has plans for me. And these plans are for my betterment. So I will not question Him. I will surrender everything to him. He knows that more than anybody else does.

@MissMarjj

A-teen

2012-11-22T08:54:00.001-08:00

11/22/94

Happy 18th birthday to me! It's been 18 years since God has given me the chance to live here on earth. YAY!!! This life is a roller coaster ride. There had been ups and downs. Rough roads and all. And I am very blessed and happy that God has given me wonderful people to take care of me. My Dad and mom, My Ako-neng and her family, Wilbur and his family, My sister Joyce, and my friends. THANK YOU LORD!

I just can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for giving my a wonderful earthly father and mother and family. No, my family is not perfect, in fact it is far from perfect, but it is just the right fit for me..

So here, I just want to narrate to what happened to me the whole day. I just thought that maybe someday, I might want to read this blog again. And I know I will. Sooo... Here it goes ....

I woke up at around five in the morning, because we had our swimming practice. Then, I want to my dad's place, I had lunch there, I was very simple. I ate spaghetti and surf the net. Since my class starts at 12 noon. So yeah.. I arrived school late, because I didn't notice the time. And my classmates didn't have idea that it is my birthday. And I don't want to let them know that it was really my birthday. It wasn't really a big deal for me. And for me, my birthday is like an ordinary day. I just don't want to exaggerate it. So only Alberto and Mitzi know that it's my birthday, they greeted me in the morning through text. So yeah.. Im tamad na to tell you the whole thing during the day, because it was super boring. I mean nothing really happened e. Tapos, since my dad said na he is going to prepare daw a handa for me since I didn't want to celebrate. Maghanda nalang daw sya ng dinner for the family. So ayon, it was around 7:30pm na when I arrived at my dad's place. and everyone was hungry na. So quickly, I changed my clothes, tapos I blowed the candle na after. Tapos, Ayon we ate na! Tapos Wilbur came! It was sort of awkward at first because we already broke up. And my dad knew that, pero he was welcoming naman, although harsh at first, because of the hot sauce! ^^ Pero okay naman. Tapos I received a bouquet pala, wit 18 roses. Ang cool. I wasn't expecting it at all! Ayon. Tapos, I ate alot of sarap food. tapos ayon family bonding with akoneng and tito junie and with some of papa's friends. Tapos when they all left, and ate Em was busy fixing or doing something in the kitchen, it was just me, Joyce, Wilbur, Gavin, and Papa. Then the talk began. It was so amazing, I was so shocked when papa started to open up and I think he felt comfortable with Wilbur. Ayon, masaya lang ako. It was a very long and relaxed conversation. Masaya. Everything ended happy. Then tito william came to fetch Wilbur na. And it was time to go home na. Ayon. The end.

So, That was it! As simple as that! My eighteenth birthday. Great things happen when you least expect it! And when it happens, BE CONTENTED! Just like me, the night was so so so simple. The food was home made, and trust me, it tasted super sarap! The cake was simple, they bought it from Myrna's bake shop. Again, IT WAS MASARAP! The set up was simple. Everything was simple, what made it special are the people who you shared with on that special moment. It's sad nga because my mom wasn't there. Pero she's in my heart naman. Ayon, I just wished everything was well with her and papa para complete. but yuh, okay na yon. I am contented. And I am very happy.

I end this day with a thought that, God loves me and He cares for me. That's why He gave me my mom and dad and my family and friends. :) I just LOVEEE THEM! Here are some pictures!

This is the rest of the family + Wilbur. He is also part of my family!

This is my Ako-neng.
I LOVE HER SO MUCH!
Thank you for everything Akoneng!

It's Gavin and Ahya Wilbur.
This guys really made me smile! and saya lng. :)
Ang cute nilang tingnan! :))
(Playing sila with Ahya's iphone, marunong si sir gavin!)

And this is my super pogi na papa!

I love him! Sobra.

Thank you papa for being a good father!

I can never thank you enough!

(By the way, The picture on the right side was taken during the rainbow conferral)

I AM OFFICIALLY A LADY, Haha! On the other side, I wont grow taller na. @@ Sana makahabol pa! HAHA!

This is another chapter in my life, and I thank God for never leaving me.

I am looking forward to a fruitful happy life. And yes, I will still commit mistakes, but I will always learn a lesson from them. I wont promise a perfect life, but I will make this life worth it! I will be strong, with the help of God. Nothing is impossible! AMEN!

PS: Thank you to everyone who greeted me! My Churchmates, Family, Friends, Rainbow family, DeMolay Family, Schoolmates, FANS(Char). Basta! Thank you! And May God bless you all!

*MissMarjj at 18 ^^

Ciao!

This is soooo..

2012-11-14T05:31:00.000-08:00

LIFE IS A CONSTANT CHANGE!

It's been super crazy lately. I... I don't know what is happening anymore. As in LOST! @@ Second semester na, there are so many changes. Super busy na nga ngayon e. And I forgot to blog about being a RAINBOW GIRL nga e! YAY! (but I’ll post a photo of me during the installation) OKAAAY! Going back to the topic, everything is a mess! I am a big mess. I just have to put myself together! I have to be really strong.

Here's the sitch, I cant tell you the whole story here, but ..

Ang daming kong problema lately e. @@ Ayaw ko naman mag drama dito but, everything is falling apart e! @@ I am so bothered. @@ Just the other night, I received a threat. Somebody texted me and the used my middle name to identify if it is really me. This is so.. @@ That anonymous sender said a lot of things about my life and all, and he also said that he knows me blab la bla.. @@ As in. @@ I felt a bit scared baaaa. But, I am not shaken naman. I can handle it. PEROOO!! @@ Wala lng, I am just super bothered. I also told my mom. She said that I shouldn’t mind it nalang daw. “Mga walang magawa sa buhay” my mom said. Haaayyy. I never mentioned it to my dad. @@ I just don’t feel like it’s the time to say it. What really hit me the most is that, when the anon said “More surprises on your birthday. HAHA.” And I was like. WTF! How did this guy know that it is almost my birthday. @@ Senyoooor! @@ Ughh, it comes in my mind every now and then, but I just let it pass. I don’t want to think about it that much. It’s just that, UGH! I can’t explain this feeling. Knowing that there’s nobody beside you to help you or comfort you. I just feel soooooo isolated from everyone right now. I feel like people see me as a strong happy kid, and I don’t face problems. But inside, I am falling apart. Where are they when I need them the most? The only one that keeps me up is God. Even if I had been always busy, even if I sometimes don’t have time for him anymore, he is always there. And at this point in my life, I turn to him. He is my refuge and strength. I just feel that I need to pour my heart out.

WHEW! Its just soooo crazy. Im super tired. @@ As in physically, mentally, and emotionally. @@ STRESSED! My grades aren't working with me. I am bulaw. @@ I just have to focus more. College is crazy! PLUS my crazy life equals

A CRAZY ME! @@

Ewan, ang gulo ng utak ko ngayon. Mag 18 na pala ako. :) Hay, Expect ko nang di nanaman ako magiging masaya sa birthday ko. :) As always! I also think that I deserve this naman e. HAYY! I just have to put myself back together and be strong, even just for six months. I have to stay strong.

I HAVE TO...

Whew! :'(

To the one I'll love #2

2012-10-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

Dear love,

Hi, It's been a while since I last wrote a letter to you. I don't know if I've met you already or not. But I'm pretty sure that God is preparing us for that day. Hey, I just want to say sorry. I'm just so so SORRY. :(

It's been really crazy lately. I've been doing a lot of stuffs. And I am enjoying a single life at the moment. I'm exploring new things and I am able to stand independently now. I hope you are having a good time too where ever you are right now. And hey, I'm currently reading this book entitled "God never blinks" It's really very nice. I think you should read this too. Im telling you random things about my life. Because one day, when we get married, I'll let you read all of the letters I wrote to you when I haven't met you yet. I hope and pray that you are safe and happy in the place that you are in right now. And I am too. Always remember that I love you so much.

Love,
Marjj
10-6-12

This girl, I LOVE! :)

2012-09-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

This is my betchy friend. Meet @JamilaAceberos. Say Hi to her on twitter. :)

It's just really really fun around her! AS IN FUNNNN!

It's like we have this mental telepathy. HAHAHAHAHA!! Ay, Whatever.

I just love love love this girl. <3 font="font">

*Ciao

@MissMarjj

MAKEEMPROUD

2012-08-23T04:42:00.002-07:00

It's MAKEEMPROUD BABY!

It's a picture of us on our repeat performance.

From left - right its Alanna, Vivien, Francesm Eva, Yvonne, Marj, Jasper, Ridx, Alberto, Jamila and Andrei.

And here's another picture of us. Posing before the "Sexy and I know it"

Left - right, it's Ridx, Eva, Jam, and Meee! :)

Okay I look stupid! All of them looks so sexay! And im like, OKAYYYY. :)))))

To my groupmates, I just wanna say, its not about winning, its not about impressing people, but its always about expressing our passion for dancing. Let's keep it up, guys! Walang iwanan ha! :)

Ciao!

*MissMarjj

To the most wonderful dad in the world! The best!

2012-07-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

To the most wonderful man in my life, PAPA!

Happy birthday, Papa!

June 20, 2012

Papa, Happy birthday!

We love you full blast!

Thank you for EVERYTHING, papa.

We might not get the chance to say this everyday, but THANK YOU for loving and caring for us.

WE LOVE YOUUUU!!! ♥♥♥

CLUB100 AAO Acquaintance Party

2012-07-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

Theme: Club 100

Date : July 13, 2012

Rating : 100 stars

AAO Acquaintance party rocks! \:D/

Friday the 13th, one of the best, most fun, and unforgettable night EVERRR!!! The party started at I guess 6pm and it ended at around 11pm. I arrived at around 6pm together with my friend Alberto. Here's a picture of us together with my babe, Andrei.

As the program started we were told to prepare ourselves for our dance number. Our group name is "MAKEEMPROUD" It's because our choreographers's name is KEEM and he has been our choreographer since high school and he's leaving for Cebu already, so we decided to name our group after him. <3 We were group number 8, the second to the last group to perform. and we have to eat our dinner first before the dance, though I was soooooooo starving, I just can't eat my food properly. @@ and I was so nervous. So I ended up not finishing my food. And then the time has finally come for us to go near the stage. While we were waiting for the other group to end my heart beat was a million times faster that the regular heart beat. @@ And then we're up next. Here's a SUPER EPIC shot that my friend took while we're on stage.

From left to right, that`s France, Alana, Eva, Alberto, Crist, Yvonne, Ridz, Marj(me), and Andrei. Ash, Jah, and Vivien didn't make it in this shot. :( Sayang. @@ Super nice pa naman this shot! Hmmmh! Anyways, here's a video of our dance! Cheers everyone! Super POWER !

So there you have it! Ang bonggang bongga na dance number na akala talaga namin ay competition! OK! Ok na tlga! This is the part were all your body pains and all those sacrifices pays off. after those excruciating nights of practice! Finally, we were able to nail it! :) FOR ME LANG HA, I really liked our performance!

I wasn't able to get a shot when we were having our disco na, because I was having so much fun and at the same time an asthma attack! So there, OVER ALL, The party was OUTRAGE!!!

`MissMarjj

*Ciao!

It's not His will

2012-05-21T09:54:00.000-07:00

So this is it! ....

ANG SAMA SAMA NG LOOB KO NGYON! -________- Hayup! Alam ko it's all my fault. Pero, di ko mapigilang ndi mainis oh magalit! Minsan kase, SOBRANG blinded tayo by the world's perspective of ~~LOVE~~. Kaya common scenario is nasasaktan tayo. Kase, kahit ilang beses na tayong iconfront ng senses natin, we tend to ignore it. Thinking that what you really feel is LOVE. Uh-oh!

Okay, have you ever got confronted by your senses saying that, "it'll never work out", "you should NOT date him", "He didn't make it to your standards", "Why are you breaking your own rules", "He might end up hurting you", "You'll end up crying" and so and so... but despite of all those thoughts, all those doubts you still continued to pursue you're "Relationshit". Thinking that you don't want to hurt him. For me personally, Im that kind of person who would rather be hurt than the one who's causing the pain. And even though there are doubts, I sheepishly follow the world. And sometimes, lifting up with the world's standards can be so costly. - That's a wrong move. But human as we are, we always make mistakes. So here I am write now writing this blog, full of.. regrets? UHHHH!

Mga boys nga tlga. -____- Alam mo ung ipaparamdam nila sayong special ka, na "MAHAL" ka nila, na ipaglalaban ka nila, and they'll say all those sugar-coated lies and sweet promises. Tapos, eto ka nman, tanga tanga, maniniwala! -____- NAKO! Minsan kase, OA ang effort e. Tapos sasabihin nilang KAYA nila kayong ipaglaban and all, but in the end, sila rin pala ang bibigay, I'm not saying that all boys are like that, but what i'm saying that MOST of the guys nowadays are like that! Tama naman ako e. Kokonti nalang tlga ung mga maayos na lalake sa mundo. -____- Scarcity na tayo sa mga matitinong boys e. -___- Kayong mga boys! Dapat ang mga babae, minamahal at di dapat sinasaktan. Now, just because someone has been reckless with your heart doesn't mean you have the license to be reckless with other people's heart. Kung sinaktan ka man ng nakaraan mo, that doesn't mean na may karapatan ka nang saktan ang ibang tao. Most especially mga babae! -___- AT!!! Please, please lang.. Only say what you really MEAN. Never promise when you happy! Kase, tendency is, pag di ka na masaya, di mo yun mapanindigan. -____-

At para naman sa mga girls, WAG TANGA. -____- Okay, okay. I can't blame the girls for falling in LOVE. Kung LOVE nga tlga yon. But sometimes, it's okay to say NO. Yan tlga yung natutunan ko. It's okay to reject someone, BUT always in a nice way. I don't know ah, pero I'm just not that kind of person who says NO to people. Parang, I don't know how to refuse. But now, I learned that, If you don't say no, and you keep on allowing them to get in to your HEART, you'll always end up being the looser. Kase, tayong mga girls, in MOST cases ang palaging KAWAWA. Kaya, SET YOUR STANDARDS and BUILD YOUR WALLS. Yeah! Easier said than done! Ganyan ako e. :))) -_____- and I always fail. Kase, Hard-headed. Hmmm. But now, I will really really really really be careful. -___- Kase, nako! Mahirap na ung palagi kang nasasaktan. I'm currently reading I kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris. And it's really helping me. And I'm learning alot of things. One of the many things that I learned is that, never date when your not really ready for commitment, kase turns out to be selfish kase you are playing with other people's emotions to satisfy yours.

In closing, I'd like to really point out that, God is preparing something better for you, and while you're single, do your very best to glorify him. Focus on Him, kase, I learned that being single is a blessing, and it's also the time to be a blessing to others. DO NOT RUSH, because God said in Ecclesiastes that He has made everything beautiful IN HIS TIME. So just WAIT. :)

---

*Ciao!

TheMarjj

Mr. Right or Mr. Right-in-front-of-you?

2012-03-07T03:39:00.000-08:00

How did I come across this phrase? HAHA! I was in church and me and PASTOR were having a conversation together with some of the youth in church. when suddenly she said, "Mr. right or Mr. right in front of you?" Tapos biglang "ittweet ko yan!"

And just now, I remembered it, and I was thinking of a good topic to blog about, so sakto. :)))) Mr. Right or Mr. Right in front of you?

Madalas pag nagmamadali, NAGKAKAMALI.

Tama nga naman. So, which do you prefer. The Right Man, of the man right in front of you at the moment? kadalasan, we tend to think that he is the one because we are temporarily sad, or lonely, or even in pain. We are in a hurry to get into a relationship without even considering the situation we are in at the moment. Not because he shows interest and give effort on you doesn't mean he is the one.

I know sometimes being single is not easy. but as the saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait." what does God says about this? what does the bible say about this? here's and article I got from (http://www.girlsgonewise.com) it says ...

God is very clear on this subject of close relationships between believers and unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” This verse applies to all types of relationships with non-Christians, but there is only one relationship that if “yoked” with an unbeliever, cannot be undone. … Marriage.

*guilty lady here* haha! So you see, I make mistakes, A LOT of them actually, and now, I must say, I should really learn my lesson. What if there's a guy, he is really cute. He's nice, he's super kind and I think he likes me. What now should I do? FIRST! I should check my checklist, is he really qualified? Is he the one? Did God prepared him for me? These are things to pray for.

God is not being cruel by commanding you to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. He is calling you to live a holy life and He is trying to protect you, His daughter, from a great deal of heartache. The most important thing in your life - your Jesus – is foolishness to a unbeliever. (1 Corinthians 1:22-25).(http://www.girlsgonewise.com)

In this sinful world, what's it gonna be? are you going to wait for God's Mr. Right or are you going to date that cute lost guy right in front of you? I'm also asking that to myself right now, and I'm currently praying to God, to give me the courage and the patience to wait. I trust in you God. I love You.

-----------------

If you want to read more about the article, I suggest you do. just click here --- http://www.girlsgonewise.com/mr-right-or-mr-right-in-front-of-you/

*ciao!

Marjj

To the one I'll love #1

2012-03-05T17:00:00.002-08:00

I might not know you yet, but I will. And now, I'm preparing myself for you. and I know that God is preparing you to meet me too. I will wait for you. and I promise to be the best you ever had. I will be patient with you and I will do everything, anything to make us happy.

I know I have my flaws, we might have small or BIG fights, but I promise you i'll stay. You might commit mistakes and loose my trust but this wont break us apart. I promise that I will love you everyday with every beat of my heart. And please promise me that you will be patient with me. And you will never give up on us. Promise me that we will work this out no matter what happens. and we will fight for our love till the end.

I love you, I love you with every beat of my heart.

-Marjjj

It's a LEAP DAY.

2012-02-28T16:09:00.007-08:00

GOODMORNING!!!
Today is a LEAP DAY. :)

oh yea. And something really really UHHH! happened. -.- Last night my friends from church decided to sleep at church because it was the last day of our YWAM visitors(im going to blog about them later). So yeah. I wanted to sleep over, but I thought I have a class at 730AM. So I cant. But then in the morning. when I arrived in school. I figured that our teacher wont meet us. CRAPPPPPPPPY!! I was like asdfghjkl!@$%$#^&%*^(*)!!! Leap day ha! :)) But its okay, t'was my fault. I didnt listen when my classmates announce that there will be no meeting. -.- I just! UH! I could have slept in church last night. If only I wasn't stupid enough not to listen to the announcements! RAAAAA! Ang sarap mag waras. :) pero okay lang! :))

I hope the rest of the day will be good. :))

#ciao!

Diverting all my energy

2012-02-23T07:14:00.000-08:00

Ever get the feeling wherein you focus too much of your attention to something that is totally "toxicating"(if there is such word as that) your brain and body? It's that time where you just keep on entertaining things that are not necessary, you keep on feeding your thoughts with things that are not useful. And then, you just disregard things that should be done. Things that are important.

Lately, I've been focusing more on things that are not important, accomplishing things that aren't important. Wasting my time on stuffs that doesn't really need my attention. Lately, I realized that i'm wasting my energy on things that are not really satisfying in the end. ALSO, It doesn't glorify God. :( awwwww.. These past few days I have been so so so tired, and I realized that, i'm still not productive in any ways. -_- this sucks, but yes, An Idle. I feel like I've been doing things, ALOT of things. But then, I realized that these things are just not worth it.

uhhhh. it's been so crazy these days. There are tons and tons of things that are going in my mind right now. I just can't think straight. and I feel that diverting my energy from here to ____ will really help me. :) Focusing more on that goal. And fixing broken things. Fixing a broken soul. As what i've said. My life is under construction. I know my God has plans. Plans to prosper me, and not to harm me. All I need is to trust him fully. And just lean on Him. ALL THE TIME.

Diverting all my energy from here to a better position.

#ciao!