Going Places

Reflections on my first Writing Retreat

2023-11-07T19:49:00.001-05:00

This past weekend, I went on my first Writing Retreat to Davis, WV. It's a bit tricky to leave all my responsibilities for a few days, but it seemed like the perfect way to kick-start my sabbatical. The retreat was organized by the (former--she recently took a new job) program coordinator of my doctoral program. Most of the other people who came with us were in my cohort/year, but there were a couple from the year before/after. We went to Davis, WV--one of my favorite places in the world (I used to vacation there as a child). And one of the most beautiful.

The view from the deck of our mountain cabin.

The organizer planned out the very delicious and tasty meals (accommodating both vegetarians and keto diets), set up the quiet hour rules each full day of the retreat, and coordinated all the travel details. We all socialized in the mornings and evenings. I drove out with a member of my writing group, so we were able to chat about our research and our writing goals for the weekend on the drive. I had an (ambitious) goal to finish the draft of my dissertation proposal to the point that I could turn it in to my chair on Monday. I spent Saturday revising Chapter Two (the literature review), incorporating articles or deciding they were not relevant to my argument, and thinking through the details of my study design.

Sunday morning hike in Blackwater Falls State Park

Sunday, after an early morning hike (thanks to daylight savings time!), I dug into finishing the details of Chapter Three (research design and methodology). I must admit that I love writing about the research design as much as I detest completing the literature review, so the experience on Sunday was much more enjoyable! I even took a nice long nap in the middle of quiet hours, having exhausted myself on the hike.

Pase Point--such a beautiful view!

I managed to finish enough that I felt I could turn my draft into my advisor. In the evening, we played a very fun and silly game of "Heads Up" with someone's mobile phone and just enjoyed talking about everything. Overall, it was a great experience. I deepened some existing relationships and made some new friends. I wrote and ate and slept and enjoyed nature. I cannot wait to do another retreat in the Spring!

Blackwater Falls--see the rainbow?

Once I got back home Monday morning, I did a final read on my proposal draft and sent it to my chair. It felt great!

First Day of a Sabbatical

2023-11-01T15:10:00.002-04:00

I have been granted a six month sabbatical by my employer, primarily to complete my dissertation and research. However, I am hoping my sabbatical will also allow me to reconnect with my health, my writing, and my humanity. I want to slow down and relax. I want to enjoy.

So on day one (today), I woke up and made waffles and took my daughter to school. My son was ill, so he is staying home today. It's the third day of his illness, so hopefully this will be the last day he needs to miss school. I also caught up with DI emails/planning for the week and ordered passport photos for me and the kids.

After I finished school drop off, I went to a yoga class at the Y. I had a few minutes before class started, so I jogged on the indoor track for about half a mile while listening to my most recent audiobook from the library, Happiness Falls by Angie Kim. At the yoga class, I was pleasantly surprised to see Michele.

After class, I went to Michele's place to collect some basil to make pesto, beans and wild rice she had grown, and a bag of persimmons for my neighbor (who mentioned last night how much she liked them).

I got home and ate leftover chili, did some organizing of my calendar, made a couple doctor appointments, and organized my finances. Then I did a bit of organizing of research articles for my dissertation and filled out forms/emailed my chair.

Finally, I took a nice bath, practiced French, and then relaxed in bed a bit. I also reorganized YNAB and decided to start up the blog again. I plan to take my daughter to her rock-climbing lesson this evening and have a video conference for the Nominating Committee. I might also follow up with some more DI stuff if I feel like it. Maybe laundry. Maybe packing for my writing weekend. Maybe cook something.

Overall, I'm extremely pleased by this plodding and enjoyable day. It seems already easier to be productive in ways I hope to be when I have fewer limitations on my schedule. I will continue to explore and reflect on this journey.

2022: Year in Review

2022-12-31T12:23:00.007-05:00

I'm not really feeling ready to set big goals for this upcoming year, but I do feel like I want to pause and take stock of this past year. In many ways, this year felt stressful and rushed. However, it was also a year of blossoming children, substantial professional growth, deepening friendships, and caregiving for two adults. And while I may not have done all the things I hoped to do for myself, I feel that the life I'm living is pretty great.

Blossoming Children

I am in awe of my two kids, now 7 and 11. They have both become readers with confidence and passions--sharing books is a great joy (we all really loved discovering the Wings of Fire series by Tui Sutherland this year). For taekwondo, the oldest earned his black belt and the youngest her intermediate level purple belt in 2022. Their Destination Imagination team won first place in the Maryland state tournament, and I traveled (after a wild month of fundraising and travel planning to do so) with them to Global Finals in Kansas City--which was a really amazing, healing experience for my kids--whose school lives had been dominated by the Covid pandemic in the prior two years.

Celebrating their journey and learning with other Maryland DI Teams!

They also participated in summer swim team for the first time, and loved it. Each is growing into an interesting and unique young person. I enjoy spending time with both of them, especially with playing card and board games or going on nature walks. Raising children is not an easy task--it is relentless, unforgiving, and (often) unpleasant--especially during challenging phases, illnesses, or tough times. But I'm very lucky my kids are doing well overall.

Professional Growth

During 2022, I completed 21 of my 60 doctoral degree credits (gearing up to study for comprehensive exams in January and then moving into ABD territory during 2023). Even more amazing was how much I've grown as a leader, researcher, and educator along this journey. I have also developed some close relationships with the other students in my classes and cohort (our five-person writing group made time to meet up during break at the National Harbor & it was delightful to see people in person!). Going back to school to get my doctorate at age 40 was a wild decision, but I'm glad I'm on this journey.

My programs have seen massive growth and equity-focused expansion. I've also had the joy to work with some amazing students, teachers, counselors, leaders, and higher ed personnel who are committed to improving student experience of the high school to college transition. Finally, the education law in Maryland is going through a lot of changes and my involvement with state-level coordination and implementation of the change has been exhausting, but rewarding. I continue to be excited by my career and feel blessed to have the opportunity to work for children in this way.

Touring the (gorgeous!) University of Minnesota's engineering library while in St. Paul.

I also was fortunate to attend two conferences this year (one in Frederick and one in Minnesota) and met several national leaders in my field, as well as connecting with them in new ways through my doctoral work.

This year has seen a great deal of transition with the leadership above me, often creating anxiety and unanticipated challenges. We seem to have settled in a good place as this year draws to a close, but there were many times in 2022 where the action (or inaction) of a new, ineffective, or malicious senior leader threatened to impact the opportunities afforded students, and I felt extremely frustrated with myself for being unable to navigate all of it well. This has been a very, very challenging year for educators--and students--at every level (a sort-of normal year, but with all the traumas of a pandemic still lingering). I'm not at all surprised to see people leaving the field entirely.

I hope 2023 proves to be a better year for everyone in schools.

Deepening Friendships

I have friendships with several women who live locally that I feel have become chosen family. Our family networks are deeply intertwined--for the most part, the kids and adults all get along well with each other. We spend lots of time together--hanging out at each others' houses or going on adventures/outings together--without some of the pressure that can come with adult friendships. I am extremely grateful to have them in my life. (Note: One member of this group has moved away, but we still connect frequently thanks to chat and other distance communications. She's had a year of big transitions, and it's hard not to be able to surround her in the love, community, and support she deserves. But she is a survivor!)

Just one example, some of our kids, at the county fair, with friendship bracelets.

I was also able to visit a friend I had not seen in many years (who I met through this very blog--NOT KIDDING!!!--while we both lived in Korea) while I was traveling for a conference to Minnesota. This trip was very life-affirming and healing--especially connecting me back with my writing self (hopefully for us both). Recognizing how think I need to commit to in-person connections again with these long-time friends who still chat/text/phone/email, but haven't really been able to see for a few years. I felt this when I attended a high school program reunion this summer, too, and spent some time catching up with friends.

I'm also feeling more connected this year to communities than I have in a long time. Whether through volunteering at our kids' school, commiserating about graduate school coursework, collaborating on something professionally, discussing issues in social media, or dancing together in social dances or fitness classes, I feel rich again with a casual/acquaintance-level social network. I think this is the layer of relationships that suffered the most from Covid restrictions.

Caregiving

My mother had a stroke in August 2020, and while she lives independently in a condo a block away from our house, her recovery to independence is incomplete. It's been a bit of a rough year as we attempted to navigate her getting back to driving, but have not been able to do so yet. This journey was further complicated by the financial emergencies of my two adult siblings who my mother still feels the need to support. I'm not going to get into family dynamics here, but caregiving for a parent while being estranged from a sibling because he has past financial abuse of that parent while the parent continues to enable the abuse is... something. I continue to have to do really good boundary work and values clarity. I am grateful for the opportunity to have this relationship with my mother and help her live well, but it is NOT easy to balance it all.

Meanwhile, in early April, Mingi had surgery on his right foot to resolve several issues from a soccer injury two years ago. The recovery and the subsequent physical and emotional ups and downs from this have also triggered migraines and injured the left foot from overuse. He's not as reliant on others as my mother is, but our whole family has been impacted by his ongoing health challenges and recovery. Our network of friends and acquaintances has been invaluable through this recovery period, but it has been a struggle. We are definitely looking forward to a year where we can all do more together (hiking, traveling, silly fun), and Mingi feels more like himself.

Visiting the Inner Harbor in Baltimore this week felt a bit like maybe we are back to more normal ways of being for our family.

Overall, I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish this year and grateful for the support in overcoming challenges we've faced. Having a stable financial situation and supportive network has made a major difference; at another time in my life, the challenges of 2022 would have broken me. Instead, I feel content that I was able to give the people I love so much care, love, and support. However, I have gained another 10 lbs in the last year (on top of the 20 I had put on in the prior years), and really need to put more focus into my own health so I'm able to continue to support others and do the things I want to do.

As such, I'm setting an intention this year of ensuring that I'm giving at least equal care and support to my own health and development that I give to my family.

How was your 2022? What are your New Year's intentions? Please share!

Christmas joys--meditation and writing

2022-12-26T11:42:00.000-05:00

Another Christmas holiday. We enjoyed time with family, new board & card games, books, and many Lego sets & craft kits. Also, the weather stopped gale force winds enough for us to enjoy a family walk in the afternoon.

Discovering ice in the paths near our home--and smashing it!

All in all an enjoyable holiday. Now I have a lovely week with no official work to savor time with family, accomplish little domestic projects, exercise, and cook to my heart's delight. I plan to indulge heartily in all the things that I enjoy without the guilt about what I "should" be doing right now. Whatever gets done, gets done. Whatever does not, does not. It's all ok!

I'm thinking about plans/goals for the new year. I think taking back up meditation and writing will be the most important. From these habits, all other good things flow. Maybe one goal of prepping meals for the week on Sundays (which helps me have time for meditation and writing as well as saving time, money, and improving my health).

For example, when I meditate, I am more likely to focus on being present, eating whole foods, and treating myself and others with kindness. When I write, I document my thoughts and process the negativity to feel more authentically connected to the directions and goals in my life. Both of these habits then allow my mind to organize best in alignment with the true values I hold in my heart and encourage me to live through these values rather than trying to distract myself from my own life.

Being home all week, I don't really need a meal plan, but I'd like to prepare for meal planning by using up my pantry/fridge/storage. Tonight, I will make a mushroom pilaf (maybe with couscous instead of rice), that I can use to stuff roast acorn squash. I will eat my (already) roasted beets for a snack and work to use up the veggies in my fridge and pantry. I also have a yummy kale-chickpea soup leftovers to eat over the next few days. I think I have to get back into cooking with what's in my home and then shopping to create a weekly plan.

I also really need to limit my sugar. I have been munching on candy thoughtlessly. I don't enjoy it, and it's not helping my life. I think I need to be more purposeful with my sugar intake and only have sweets when it's worth it--like homemade special treats. Maybe I can start munching on popcorn instead. I like that idea.

How was your holiday?

Reflections about health on an unexpected day of weather cancellations

2022-12-22T09:23:00.001-05:00

This morning, our area had some ice and rain storms with freezing temperatures overnight. Although the situation in our neighborhood is not bad at all, the North part of the county must have been terrible because they cancelled school. With offices on a two hour delay, I find myself with the gift of a bit of writing time on this last day of work before the winter break.

Getting the day off school was great for my kids, as both have been dragging themselves through various illnesses throughout most of the month. I think my oldest has attended a total of 2 days in December. Multiple doctor's office trips and Covid tests and no definitive diagnosis, but a collection of symptoms that could be from one of so many different viruses floating around this holiday season, wreaking havoc everywhere. The youngest has been feverish and complaining of ear pain this week, but the doctor's trip did not show infection--just fluid in the ears. They both need the day to fully rest instead of forcing themselves to gather all the work they've missed and check in with teachers before the official start of winter break tomorrow.

Coping with sick children is very stressful. I am extremely grateful that I have the resources in my life--both financial and social--to help manage all the challenges that come with caring for a sick child. I'm also grateful that so far, the illnesses have been mild and routine (colds, viruses, etc.). Right now, there are many parents who are coping with sick children without adequate health insurance or who cannot pay for the medications or equipment that help alleviate symptoms. There are parents with jobs that will punish them for taking time off to care for children and schools that are unsympathetic to the challenges of this season. I can't help but think about how our society could make things better and easier for all children, yet we choose to let them struggle instead.

I'm reading The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté (written with his son, Daniel), which identifies some of the ways in which the systemic failures of our society to prevent childhood suffering contributes to the numerous health crises that have arisen in the past century. I'm not sure I agree with all of his arguments and writing, but it is an important critique of the way the field of medicine alone is inadequate to address illness and healing. This makes me very aware of the ways our society fails children and how that impacts generations of suffering.

I am also trying to address what this means for my own health journey. Becoming a caregiver to my aging mother has had a profound impact on the ways I view my own childhood, the formation of my self, and how I understand human relationships. Dr. Maté would urge me to lean into these learnings and find ways to connect my healing needs with addressing the complexities of health and social-familial environment. I'm not really sure how to turn that journey into a "resolution" yet, but I would like to prioritize healing and health as I move into the new year.

Not just for me, but for my family and community.

I will continue to reflect. In the meantime, I will enjoy this slow start to my morning, this opportunity for rest and reflection in the coming holiday, and what it might mean about my priorities in life.

How do I get back into blogging?

2022-12-14T15:59:00.004-05:00

I think I just start. We're moving into winter and life is very busy and always moves right along.

Goodbye, Fall

Some thoughts that have been on my mind this week:

1. Grad School: I finished this semester's courses for my doctoral program. I enjoyed the classes much more than I thought, and the final paper in my qualitative methods course allowed me to play around with a mixed methods design that I have been hoping to explore. The methodology, Trochim's concept mapping, is a really great blend of qualitative data collection, participatory research--it involves the participants analyzing the qualitative data they produce, abstract statistical models that I nerd out over, and visual representation of data. The methodology pairs well with my epistemological framework for research (intersectionality), my research question (identifying barriers to access and participation in advanced coursework), and my commitment to bringing the student perspective into empirical studies. I met with the instructor who taught my quantitative methods course who is currently serving as program coordinator until the regular program coordinator returns from sabbatical next semester to discuss the possibilities with her, and she did agree to be my quantitative methodologist on my dissertation committee if we need one! I'm looking forward to my Spring seminar coursework. However, first I must get through my comprehensive exams in late Jan/early Feb--whew.

Youngest takes a nature walk with her best friend.

2. Kids: Our oldest has been dealing with a cold/stomach flu that just won't quit. Poor thing has been out of school far too many days. Meanwhile, the youngest is exhausted and needs a mental break. I hope the holiday break can be our chance to reconnect as a family and relax a bit. This school year has been fun and busy, but rather stressful!

3. Health: I'm working to go for long walks most days of the week. I enjoy the connection with nature and it's all I can fit in my schedule right now. The shorter days make it hard to remember to go for a walk, but I do enjoy hanging out with the family of deer who share our neighborhood. I'm getting back into the habit of cooking, which has fallen by the wayside because of this busy life season.

Deer family in the marshlands.

So for now, that's my update. I hope this helps get me back into the writing flow!

Raising Readers

2022-02-01T17:19:00.003-05:00

I love reading. I've always known that I wanted to raise my children to be readers. It's a great frugal form of entertainment, and the most critical skill for success in school. In my career as a high school English teacher, I have helped convert hundreds of reluctant, phone-addicted high schoolers into teens who voluntarily read novels. I've convinced students that Will Shakespeare was a pretty cool dude. Yet, when it came to my own children, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to equip them to view reading in the way that Harper Lee once described in To Kill a Mockingbird:

"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing."

In the library, pre-Covid; still one of our favorite places to hang out!

Luckily, I need not have feared. My son just finished a five book series of 500+ page novels he received as a Christmas present and my daughter is making her way through several different series. Their most recent test scores from school peg their reading levels at 3+ grades above their actual grades. They are readers! Helping my kids become readers was easier and more enjoyable than I could have possibly imagined. I come from an education background, so of course I advocate that families read to children early and often and model literacy. Turns out, that actually works!

Lazy summer deck reading.

As a parent (who feels like she's making it all up as she goes along...), I've also discovered that reading to your kids stops meltdowns in their tracks and provides instant family bonding. Here are some specific ways to develop young children's literacy:

Make the time. Before I had kids, I was understanding about how hard it was as a parent to make time for reading. After all, I love reading, and I don't always make the time to do it. Parents are even busier, right? Y'all--I timed it. Reading one of those little board books takes less than five (yes, FIVE) minutes. And often it's the five minutes during which my child is most cooperative, loving, and attentive. No one screams. Everyone cuddles. Five minutes. It's better than meditation--no lie. How do you not make time for that every, single day? If I hadn't read to my kids, none of us would have made it past age two. My worst nightmare is a bedtime without books. *shudder*
Make books accessible.* Studies show that being surrounded by books in childhood promotes literacy. We own a lot of children's books (way more than adult books, thanks to my decluttering efforts). Most of them were gifts or hand-me-downs, but books are the main "toys" we have purchased for our children. However, you don't have to own books to surround your children with books. Our local library lets patrons check out unlimited items, doesn't charge fines, and allows you to renew materials online. We usually have at least 60 books checked out at any one time--and only like 3-5 of them are for the adults. You can also buy used books or source them through Buy Nothing and Freecycle.
Make it a habit. Every time my kids beg for "one more poem" or to be allowed to choose one more picture book or read one more chapter in our novels, I feel like I've won the gold medal of parenting. However, that joy comes from many, many times of being willing to read the same book over again, or pause and read whenever one of my children asks. We treat nagging for books different than just about every other kind of nagging--we indulge it.
Give kids choice and agency. Sometimes, I get lucky and my kids are interested in the books I enjoy reading, and we'll have great fun with the works of Roald Dahl, Narnia, and Mossflower. Other times, they want to read endless, technically-oriented volumes about Pokemon (J) or the terribly-written picture book re-telling of Disney princess movies (H). When the kids are interested in something (be it Kung-fu Panda, or space, or unicorns), we ask the librarians if there are any books about that topic and use Goodreads to find similar recommendations.
Model reading books. I think many adults read more on screens (Kindle, smartphones, etc.) than they did just a few years ago. However, children don't know whether you are reading on your tablet or watching a video. Be intentional about modeling your reading to your children. Min had to get some Korean books so that the kids could see him reading on paper, not just on the screen.

Snuggly winter couch reading.

Some other tips? Teach letters and sounds, but not to the point that you are sacrificing story and fluency. Readers read content, not phonics. Don't freak out if your kid who loves listening to you read doesn't transition to reading independence right away. It will happen eventually. The boy who just tore through those 500+ page books didn't read anything but Dog Man independently well through second grade.

* Not every family can afford books. I encourage using the library to fill in the gaps, but that's not always enough. While compiling this post, I did some research into charities that provide books to kids. I elected to make a donation to Reach Out and Read, an highly rated organization that encourages literacy by integrating books into pediatric care.

We also donate monthly to our local library. We get way more value from it than we do from any streaming media service.

Any other tips from parents out there? How do you foster a love of reading for your children at any age?

Food, Exercise, Nature, and Joy: Health in 2022

2022-01-25T15:08:00.006-05:00

Last year work, household, caregiving, and grad school obligations became overwhelming. I found it difficult to make time for exercise and cook healthy foods; I also resorted to stress-eating late at night or picking up fast food. I gained about 20lbs before my brain cleared enough in late October to deal with this neglect of my physical state.

Neglected building along my walking route.

I will admit that there was a part of me that had surrendered--an inner voice that told me I would just "get healthy again" after my doctorate was finished. Then, I read the book Die With Zero by Bill Perkins. This personal finance book proposes that many super-saver ways of conceptualizing money for retirement (always "max out" accounts and optimize savings rates) are not the smartest way to approach finances because you could end up very wealthy, but without the time or health to enjoy what you've accumulated. Ultimately, Perkins advocates that money should be used to maximize fulfillment and experiences over time. Although much of his argument would only apply to those with privilege and comfort enough to be saving too much for retirement and there were some ableist tropes that have been called out on Twitter, I found the book shook me out of a money and health script that had me making bad tradeoffs. Perkins framed our mortality and the decline of our abilities and interests with age in a manner that made me realize how problematic it was for me to wait until some other part of my life is done to care for my health. I want to be able to enjoy my life--now and in the future--and neglecting health is probably the main guarantee that I'm stealing from my future enjoyment. (His book also made me relax a lot about retirement contributions and add life-fulfillment goals into my financial plan, which I really needed to do.)

Noticing a woodpecker on a nature walk.

I reckoned with the fact that I'd been "trying" to lose the weight I'd gained without success on my own; I rejoined WW, which has helped me lose weight in a healthy way in the past, I also recommitted to daily movement that I love--choosing to focus on all the ways I enjoy moving (dancing, walking, hiking, swimming, yoga...) instead of trying to force myself to do exercise I thought I "should" be doing (like jogging and weightlifting). I'm also conceptualizing wellness more broadly by paying attention to the quality of my relationships, prioritizing interactions with friends and family that bring me joy, and trying to spend time in nature really enjoying it.

J is very proud of learning how to solve Rubik's cubes after watching Youtube videos.

Even through the holidays and the stress of Omicron, I have been able to reconnect with the actions and habits that make me feel energized and strong. I have lost about 8 lbs., eaten less fast food and snacks, and exercise nearly daily. I feel much better! Right now, I am enjoying the 30 Day Yoga Journey MOVE from Adriene Mishler. On Twitter, a group of mostly women from my personal finance blogger friends keep me accountable as we cheer each other on with the hashtag #pfyogacrew (anyone is welcome to join in the fun!). I'm remembering not just how much yoga is lovely for meditation and stretching, but it really develops strength and stability. I think I would like to keep up with this as a daily practice beyond the 30 Day challenge.

How are you staying healthy through this difficult time?

Colonialism, Education, and Hope: Reflections on MLK Day 2022

2022-01-17T13:52:00.005-05:00

"We in the West must bear in mind that the poor countries are poor primarily because we have exploited them through political or economic colonialism." --Martin Luther King, Jr.

In my doctoral program, we're learning about the different theoretical lenses that researchers use in educational research. One of the reasons to consider theoretical lenses is to understand that what we believe about the creation of knowledge impacts what kinds of knowledge we can explore as researchers. Since my program is committed to social justice and equity, we include critical theories in our study--including Critical Race Theory, Intersectionality, and Queer Studies. While these concepts have taken some heat from the right, they are really interesting to study. One of the concepts that I've encountered in my studies is the extent to which the lens of settler colonialism permeates the thinking, research, and structures of education.

Although I had a vague understanding of colonialism from my studies of history in school, my understanding was always that the bad parts of colonialism was something that happened a long time ago or in far away lands. Sure, it was reawakened by the Monroe doctrine and then rhetorically evoked in science fiction I loved as a child (THE FINAL FRONTIER!), but weren't some concepts of exploration and discovery the very foundations of science--exploring the unknown?

But settler colonialism asks: "Unknown to whom?" "Explore for what?" "Who benefits from this interaction?" So many of my questions for educational research are simple questions students already know the answers to, but the academy has not included their perspectives in "empirical studies," and so the knowledge they possess about education is not acknowledged. But if every student knows and understands that the system of testing we have right now is torture, then it's fairly presumptuous of us to have to "prove" the harms.

In the last year, between my graduate studies and increased reading of Native American writers (including Angeline Boulley, Tommy Orange, and--my new favorite--Louise Erdrich), I'm starting to see that the harms of colonialism are ongoing and continuous. That many of the ideals I value in American culture--self-reliance, individualism, creative use of resources, thirst for knowledge--are predicated on the fact that my European ancestors saw the world as theirs for the taking and exploring (and exploiting). That my husband's country was shaped first by the forcible colonization of Korea by Japan and then the de-facto Cold War colonization of the American army. That the "adventure" I loved about traveling to different countries and experiencing other cultures came at a cost to the people and lands I visited.

The trouble of course is, I'm not entirely sure what to do with this knowledge. I love to travel, but the more I learn about the carbon footprint of commercial flights, the more unethical it feels. I want to visit Hawaii and Puerto Rico, but the problematic ways twentieth century U.S. annexed these lands without the support of the indigenous populations, in part because they represent a kind of fantastical, exotic travel for Americans, gives me pause. I can't even think about my own time in Korea as an English teacher without understanding the complex ways that was another kind of colonization project, albeit ones Koreans themselves submit to in order to gain global power.

More troubling perhaps still is the colonial project of public education that continues in 2022. Again, Covid has us asking: "What are schools--warehouses for children so their parents can be participants in the economy or places of academic instruction or social welfare programs for reducing inequity?" (HINT: They are all of these things, none of these, and more.) "Who benefits from schools closing? From staying "open"?" And so on. Some of these questions are public health questions, sure, but they have revealed to me a troubling narrative I believe that public education is capable of (and should) "save" children by helping them navigate the norms of our society successfully. And what is that but a demand for assimilation by another name?

I'm thinking about this today, on a great day for reflecting about injustice, because the first writer who helped me understand the deep connections between all kinds of injustice and harms in this world was Dr. King. His ability to see how the evils of capitalism, racism, and militarism were interconnected to exploit and suppress others allowed me to understand that there is no single injustice more important than others. What I am most inspired by is his ability to not only see the evils in the world, but to continue to believe it could get better. Sometimes, I really wonder if it can.

I don't have any answers here. I try to do what I can, where I can, but times like these, it can seem overwhelming and that there are no good choices. So instead, I will lean into Dr. King's hope and advice for persistence:

"For all of us today, the battle is in our hands. The road ahead is not altogether a smooth one. There are no broad highways to lead us easily and inevitably to quick solutions. We must keep going." --MLK

Appreciation for the Calm

2022-01-09T19:37:00.007-05:00

Starting 2022 amidst the most widespread outbreak of a 2+ year pandemic has ironically led to a slowing down and calm pace for my life. We've been lucky enough to avoid infection thus far, so now that the rates of Covid transmission and hospitalizations are higher than they've ever been, we've elected to reduce the number of activities we are engaging in at present as a mitigation strategy. The kids are still going to school and taekwondo (masked, thankfully), Min is doing whatever shopping we need, and I am going in person to work most days of the week and taking my Mom to doctor's appointments, but we've mostly curtailed other activities. Even though there is no government mandate to refrain, we find it prudent at this time.

Water always makes me feel peaceful. This is the Monocacy River near our home.

For me, this means no gym classes, no dining out, and no gatherings indoors. What's strange this time is that it seems as though very few other people are limiting some of their activities, despite the fact that our hospital is operating in crisis mode and our school staffs are dealing with absentee rates so high that we are discussing possible short-term contingency plans for in-person instruction. The local college I work with has already decided to stay fully remote with virtual instruction through February 6. There's no guidance to help the public in how to navigate what's happening now, and the CDC Director was describing it as "encouraging" that people like me with immune suppression and diabetes are the people that are dying from this round of infection. I digress...

The kids decided to prepare us breakfast for our anniversary (12 years--WOW). It was quite sweet.

Far from feeling deprived and adrift as I did in the early weeks of March and April 2020, I feel an ease of slipping back into the routines and joys we discovered when the whole world shut down. I find myself grateful for the beautiful nature in our neighborhood on my walks, for the free yoga challenge online, for a wonderful dance instructor still having Sunday Zoom workouts, for more time to play board games with my kids and cook healthy meals. I have enjoyed more time to rest and read, dig into my grad classes, write in this blog.

My little snow bunny.

I feel a kind of contented ease that I don't really recall enjoying in the past. Perhaps, I have just become more comfortable with existing in the present moment and enjoying the company of my family. Maybe I like the excuse to ruthlessly cut nonessentials from my life. Or maybe it was the first huge snowstorm of the year which always makes the world look brand new. Whatever it is, I like it. I'm going to try to cultivate this essentialist approach to my time and enjoyment.

Here's a little hope into the world that we can stay healthy and joyful, even if the world feels like it's conspiring to keep us from those things.

Random Reflections as 2021 Closes

2021-12-31T16:13:00.007-05:00

We have come to the last day of a very stressful year--which, coincidentally was the first year of my 40s and another year of very strange world events--from an ongoing pandemic to political shenanigans to climate crises to the dehumanization from the patriarchy, white supremacy, global capitalism, and other injustice. There is much from this year that leaves me sad, anxious, and helpless. I try to focus on the positives--vaccines and books, for example. But I will admit that 2021 on a broad scale leaves even silver-lining optimist Diana feeling a bit stretched to come up with much to say about the positive.

Super grateful for my wonderful family.

On a personal scale, I can find a lot more victories and joys. Here are a few:

Financial: Thanks to the largesse of the US government stimulus money, I finally paid off all my credit card debt. In a further debt victory, the rules for Public Service Loan Forgiveness were changed such that it looks like I will be eligible for full forgiveness of my undergraduate and master's degree loans in full. This has enabled us to increase our charitable giving & direct aid to family/friends, contribute more to retirement funds, and spend without worrying on the things we value. Life without crushing debt really changes your outlook. I also found Die With Zero and I Will Teach You to be Rich to be helpful books for this new stage of my financial journey.

Relationships: It was my first full year thinking of myself as a "caregiver" to my mother whose stroke in August 2020 has left her more dependent on others for help. I am proud and grateful at the amount of care I've been able to provide for her. This shift in our relationship has enabled me to reflect on what is most important and let go of more small slights. I feel solidly like a middle age adult, and I think this identity has a lot to do with it. I have rekindled a friendship with my sister who has helped with the caregiving and let go of the relationship with my brother that has always been toxic and strained.

Bringing Mom on vacation to the beach was a major 2021 highlight!

I also deepened my friendships with the women in my book club and their families (all of whom are mixed race, with one Asian, one white parent, such that our children all look more like each other than we do). These friends have become my go-to people. I am so grateful for this group we have built where I feel accepted and built a close community for my biracial children. have also become closer to a few work colleagues, parents of my kids' friends, dance friends, and neighbors this year.

Although I let my blog Free, Fun, Family lapse and haven't been writing as much, I feel connected to several online communities through Twitter, which is now my only social media besides Goodreads. I do hope to reconnect at in-person events with them in the future.

Professional: I am now through two full semesters of work on my Ed.D. program in Educational Leadership--and I love it! It's got me thinking and trying things in different ways that have already resulted in some pretty awesome collaborations and projects at work. It's also been a great outlet for managing, processing, and reflecting on the trauma of these last few years. I find myself re-inspired for educational work in a time of incredible challenge and difficulty in this profession. Although it can be very stressful at times, I'm so glad I decided to pursue this program at this time. I am also becoming close with a number of people in my cohort.

Bringing dually enrolled English Learner students on a tour of campus--many are first gen!!!

Reading: Thanks in part to my daughter's embrace of The Magic Treehouse series towards the end of they year, I made it to my goal of over 100 books in 2021 (as of right now, I'm at 111 and will probably finish at least one more book today). One of my goals was to increase my usual rate of 20-25% books by writers of color, and 43 of those books (38%) were by BIPOC authors. In reviewing my read shelf, I see that most of my books for grad school and my kids' read-alouds were not very diverse. I can't do much about the required reading for grad school (except continuing to advocate for different authors & choosing diverse authors when given a choice), but I think I need to be more intentional about getting my kids books by writers of color. Especially now that they are both independent readers.

So overall, a year of growth and development. Much to celebrate!

Of course, what I am most grateful for and proud of is the growth and closeness of my family. This year's struggles have resulted in a closeness and joy. I can't wait to see what 2022 brings for us!

Harper's Ferry visit with my Uncle Tom!

I've been less pleased with my year in terms of health (I gained weight with how stressful this year has been), minimalism/anti-consumerism, and writing (other than school, I didn't do much this fall). As such, these are the three areas I am focusing on for 2022 "goals."

Goals for 2022:

1. Lose the 20lbs I gained in a healthy way (whole foods, less dining out, more movement, smaller eating window/semi-IF). I'm not really all about the weight anymore & care way more about health, but I know that this weight impacts my diabetes control and makes dancing & hiking a bit harder.

2. Avoid Amazon (which we *still* use far too often), minimize Walmart, more food that's local, & declutter--for realsies.

3. Publish once a week in this blog. Sometimes it's gonna be short, sometimes long. But I have to build my writing muscle again, and I enjoy blogging here. It feels low stakes. Please hold me accountable.

Thank you for reading my thoughts, as always. I hope you are well as the year closes. Do you have any reflections or goals for this year? I'd love to hear them.

What a wild summer it has been...

2021-08-23T16:00:00.001-04:00

I finished my big debt goal and started my doctorate and BAM--stopped blogging. Whoops!

I earned As in both summer courses and had many enjoyable family (and friend!) mini-adventures this summer, but preparing for the opening of this school year has been rather time-consuming. Now that our district is back in session, I hope to get back on this blogging wagon, if for no other reason than I enjoy writing a log of my life, even if only three people read it (hi, friends!).

Now in fourth and first grades--time has really sped up!

We're still living in the pandemic, of course. Covid-19 cases locally dipped really low this summer, but now with the Delta variant, are shooting back up. It's really challenging to pull back after enjoying the almost carefree summer, especially with school opening fully. We're just trying to mask and limit most travel/dining out, but are choosing to continue outdoor socializing with other families where all 12+ persons are vaccinated. I remain mostly concerned about our unvaccinated children, but remain hopeful that the natural partial immunity children seem to have, combined with mandatory mask mandates at school, will keep them mostly ok. Who really knows? It's exhausting to continue to be so on edge for so long. Finally, I now qualify for a third round of vaccine, due to my immune suppressed self. Hopefully that will keep me protected from the worst side effects of the virus if I do catch it.

Summer camping trip with good friends--so grateful for the pause on C-19

My mother is mostly recovered from her stroke, over one year prior. She is still in occupational therapy and has a vision therapy appointment this week to see if she might be ready to be assessed for driving again! I would love for her to be able to regain some of her prior independence. She is already back in watercolor classes at the local community college and even went out to lunch with friends without my assistance! Such progress is wonderful.

Enjoying the Fireman's Carnival with my best kiddos!

Financially, we're kind of at a good place of allowing a bit of purposeful luxury spending, now that the debt is paid off. We've automated a higher contribution to the IRAs and emergency fund, but mostly are doing well because of YNAB (or, You Need A Budget--that's a referral link!). They redesigned and are even more fun to use, so I highly recommend it as an all-in-one, goal-smashing budget app.

Ready to move into the end of official summer and see what fall brings. Two more grad classes, of course, but also perhaps getting back to a schedule of regular exercise and such.

FINAL Debt Elimination Update: April 2021

2021-05-09T11:17:00.002-04:00

Some major things happened in April 2021, yet the month really felt like it just FLEW by.

April is really the month for flowers.

First, my husband is now fully vaccinated, and the kids have returned to school and one activity each in person (H 4 days/week + gymnastics and J 2 days/week + taekwondo). They have missed it so much. While I am still nervous about their unvaccinated status, transmission rates are low and mask/mitigation measures compliance high in my state, which makes the return less risky. The Covid pandemic is by no means over, but life feels a bit more full and less "on hold" than it did at the start of this year. I am very grateful for this progress in our lives. I am trying to let go of the anger I feel for the disgusting misprioritization of resources that made in person schooling unsafe for so much longer than it needed to be.

Second, I have been admitted into Frostburg University's doctoral program in Educational Leadership. I am very excited to begin this three year program, but a little nervous about the intensity. I feel very lucky to have the support of my family, friends, and coworkers as I begin this process. Classes begin in June. Financially, this changes some of my thinking around my student loans. I will be enrolled half time, so my student loans will go into deferment again. Most are subsidized, so they will not accumulate interest, and I will not have to make payments for three years. Additionally, while my employer has a very generous tuition payment benefit for this degree, I will be responsible for about $15,000 in tuition, books, and other expenses. This is more money than I have saved so far for this doctorate, so I am considering taking a Direct Loan for a portion of this expense. I will write more about this decision if/when I get there--for now my summer and fall tuition will be completely covered, so I have some time to think about it. I just feel differently about finishing paying off my student loans now that I'm going back to school.

Happy to head back to school in-person, not so happy to be photographed.

Finally, we have paid off the last of the credit card debt! WOWOWOWOWOW! Just a little over three years since we looked at that number larger than $30K and almost cried, it's GONE. I wrote about it every month. Sometimes it felt like we made almost no progress, sometimes we got lucky and made huge forward progress all at once. Boy, does it feel really good. NEVER AGAIN!

Since I no longer have ANY credit card debt and am not aggressively paying off student loans, I will not be doing a monthly Debt Elimination Update; instead I will shift to a financial update. I like the accountability of writing it out, & still believe sharing about finances (a normally taboo subject) demystifies the process for others. I hope you will enjoy reading our efforts to save money for different goals!

Financial progress from April:

Mortgage Escrow Refund Check and Leave Cash Out. April featured two "windfalls" that enabled us to finish paying off our remaining credit card debt and buy two things that we really value this month (see next bullet). We got the refund from our previous mortgage escrow, and I was able to use my annual leave cashing employer benefit to get paid out for 8 unused vacation days. The next few months will be weird since we've had so many windfalls in this first part of they year. It will feel like progress is slowing, when really, it's just back to normal.
Paid upfront a late summer vacation rental & clothing. My mother had a stroke in August 2020 and her recovery has been challenging. We decided to rent a small house near one of her favorite beach destinations over Labor Day weekend for our family, my Mom, and my sister's family to celebrate a) her anniversary of recovery and b) our parents' wedding anniversary (It would have been 52 years!). It was so exciting to be able to pay for us to celebrate still being here. I also bought myself three dresses to make me feel better about going back to work. I love them!
Closed more credit cards & set up a default cashback optimization system. We now have a simplified system and can maximize our card cashback benefits. Of course, my credit score is now in the over-800s club, so that's cool.
Debt Progress: Here are the numbers for the end of April:
- Balance Transfer 3 (0% through August 2021): $0 CELEBRATE--ALL CC DEBT DONE!
- Grad School 1 (5.5%): $1,463.01
- Grad School 2 (5.5%): $3,884.93
  TOTAL Remaining: $5,347.94
  Amount paid off this month: $3,083.25
  Amount paid off TOTAL: $38,907.84

From now on, I will be tracking overall debt reduction (mortgage and student loans), retirement and giving contributions, and other stuff. I don't quite know how I want to visualize it, but I know I do better when I'm tracking.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me! It's been wild. Onto new things!

Debt Elimination Update: March 2021 (and Financial Goals for 2021)

2021-04-02T16:00:00.001-04:00

I turned 40, both my mother and I are fully vaccinated against Covid, Congress sent us a bunch of money, and the weather is looking up. All in all, March 2021 was VASTLY superior to March 2020. I allowed my blog-business experiment, Free Fun Family, to lapse & it feels good. Kept the domain b/c I like the name. Don't know if I'll use it. Still haven't brought over all my old posts, but I'll get there.

We're so close to paying off the debt I set out to tackle three years ago. In fact, with an expected escrow refund check from the successful completion of our mortgage refinance (2.875%, 30 year, baby), we'll have the credit card portion paid off in April. I have participated in a generous state tax credit program for people with outstanding student loans for the past two years (Marylanders: Check it out), so I think it would be beneficial to shift some of the most urgent financial goals for the remainder of this year.

Hiking was great this month. Here is Wolf Rock!

Here are my NEW 2021 financial goals:

Build out the emergency fund to 3 months expenses. We built a full one month e-fund last year to last through the end of debt repayment, but now I'm ready to increase this before finishing the last of the grad loans. Eventually, I would like this to be 6 full months to cover unanticipated employment, home and auto repairs, and potential unpredictable crazy stuff like, oh, say, another pandemic. (Please let it not come to this).
Max out my and my husband's Roth IRAs. I have not been able to do this since back when contribution limits were $2,000 (they are now $6,000 per account) in early 2000s. This will be a stretch goal for us, as we are only just over 4% of the way there at the end of Q1. (Note: I am the only income-earner, so my husband's is a Spousal IRA).
Increase donations by 1% of income. Last year, not including the money we gifted to family members hit by the shutdowns, we gave 4% while paying off debt. I'm aiming to increase this each year until we are at 10%--I only really started giving substantially a couple years ago. Then I'll hold steady until some very long term financial goals are met. (I do include some of this unexpected stimulus stuff as "income" for my percentage purposes).
Stop penny pinching the grocery budget. We love to eat high-quality, local , and organic food. Mingi likes to get stuff that reminds him of home from HMart (the Korean grocery store). I will continue to be extremely conscientious of food waste and unhealthy or environmentally harmful buys, but I already went up one size and egg order for our CSA.
Save for a really nice trip for next year. We want to really travel again when the kids are vaccinated. It's a delight and a joy.

We've also got some long term thoughts now that we are almost credit card debt free. We are interested in slow, longer-term travel, my out of pocket Ed.D. expenses, including a sabbatical half-to-full year, and a kitchen remodel. Trying to decide how to prioritize these goals now.

Welcome, Spring!

I am seriously burnt out at work, so I decided to take some annual leave to coincide with my children's Spring Break. This was a good idea. I also am watching more dance movies. This helps, too.

Financial progress from March:

WOWZA Stimulus Check and State Tax Refund. Largest check to date (I hit under the income limit for single full amount, so yes, we got the full amount for a family of four) and my tax refund both allowed incredible payoffs for this month. We also donated a bit more, increased monthly contributions to the Roth IRAs, and bought my husband a back massager that mounts on his chair, like he has always wanted. Good times.
Finally signed off the Mortgage Refi. Much lower interest rate and monthly payment. Paying it off early is still a long term goal, but it is not more important than the goals mentioned above at this time.
Closed some credit cards for simplification purposes. I used balance transfers to keep my interest low while I paid it off, but now I'm hoping to simplify back down to a handful of cards.
Debt Progress: Here are the numbers for the end of March:
- Balance Transfer 2 (0% through April 2021): $0 CELEBRATE--one more gone!
- Balance Transfer 3 (0% through August 2021): $3,000
- Grad School 1 (5.5%): $1,485.78
- Grad School 2 (5.5%): $3,945.41
  TOTAL Remaining: $8,431.19
  Amount paid off this month: $6,339.45
  Amount paid off TOTAL: $35,824.49

Look at that crazy 2021 cliff--the debt is just melting away!

Considering that the entire YEAR of 2020 netted a $3,000 (and 87 cents!) payoff on this debt, a single month paying more than double that speaks to how powerful direct giving can be for individuals' finances. The stimulus payments have met some political controversy over concerns that people who didn't "really need" it might get extra money. And we certainly are in the category of not "needing" this money; however, it made a huge difference to our financial picture and will allow us to help more people through community poverty alleviation and direct giving.

While I'm no Andrew Yang enthusiast, I do appreciate what he did to bring the conversation of Universal Basic Income to the national stage during the his presidential bid. I hope that we in the U.S. can divorce ourselves from the inhumanity of equating income with worth.

Hope you had a good March!

Debt Elimination Update: February 2021

2021-03-08T17:00:00.002-05:00

February was a short, bitter month. From the death toll from Covid reaching more than half a million in the U.S. (more than 40% of which were completely senseless) to snowstorms that incapacitated multiple states resulting in catastrophic loss (and more deaths), it's clear that the constant tragedy we felt in 2020 has well established itself into this year.

Our lives have been less dramatic, and for this we are grateful. We continue to have our kids engage with online learning, even as our school system opened in hybrid. Work is overwhelming still (and will be through the end of the pandemic), but I've been able to make some inspiring progress with access to college courses this month for our students. I submitted my application for a doctorate in education (Ed.D.) program that would begin in the summer semester, with a target completion of Spring 2024. We made a lot of progress on our financial goals (see below). We played in the snow.

A rare snow day for Mom in which offices were closed.

As we have been doing throughout the pandemic, we deployed some of our money for giving to alleviate emergency needs. We gave to a friend in Texas who was using the extra GoFundMe money she got beyond the lost groceries she needed help replacing to other people in need. We also sent a bit to Jackson, Mississippi whose storms left residents without water for weeks. Being able to send some of my giving money to alleviate this emergency when the mood so struck makes me feel rich.

Teaching his sister long division.

It feels like I spent most of the month of February pressing "refresh" on pharmacy and hospital websites in a doomed attempt to get a vaccine appointment for my mother and myself. But on the very last day of February, we got a call from the local senior clinic and were able to schedule Mom for March 2. A few days later, one of those pharmacy refreshes yielded an appointment for myself for March 6. If all goes according to plan, I will write my March update with both of us completely vaccinated.

Financial progress from February:

Got my Federal Tax Refund. The large payoffs this month are from this lucky addition to our regular inflow. I used to try to optimize my taxes so I got less of a refund, but these days I like the "bonus" I get. Plus, if I do get more Freelance work, it gives me a nice buffer. We also used a bit of this money to buy a second guitar and amp for the budding musicians in the household.
Waited patiently for mortgage Refi--still not processed. There was a hangup with subordinating a grant I got with my original mortgage (registered as a lien against the property that is forgiven after 15 years of occupancy). Plus, all my loan processing people live in Texas, a state which had a terrible month (see above). We're now scheduling closing for March 15, so cross your fingers!
Applied for a telework ADA accommodation. It really is the worst that I had to do this because I don't want to go against the mission of bringing kids back into buildings, but my doctor doesn't want me to risk exposure. Just hoping this doesn't impact long term career goals and the vaccine comes soon.
Debt Progress: Here are the numbers for the end of February:
- Balance Transfer 1 (0% through March 2021): $0 CELEBRATE!
- Balance Transfer 2 (0% through April 2021): $4,000
- Balance Transfer 3 (0% through August 2021): $5,000
- Grad School 1 (5.5%): $1,578.62
- Grad School 2 (5.5%): $4,192.02
  TOTAL Remaining: $14,770.64
  Amount paid off this month: $2,436.36
  Amount paid off TOTAL: $29,485.14

Crossed off one of my balance transfer cards completely! Woohoo! That's a party by itself.

When I include mortgage debt and my undergrad student loan (very low interest rates), I've paid off $41,609.77 since starting this whole endeavor in January of 2018. Crossing the $40K mark feels so surreal. I'm able to dream about financial goals again!

Debt Elimination Update: January 2021

2021-02-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

Everyone who hoped for a better, more promising 2021 felt deeply betrayed by the opening month of this year. January brought a lot of chaos and hope with an attempted coup on the Capitol building and an historic inauguration.

Meanwhile, the pandemic continues to rage, claiming the lives of thousands in the U.S. every day. Winter makes Covid-safe activities more challenging.

Masked, socially distant hike with friends is the best we can do these days.

In personal news, my mother continues to make progress in her stroke recovery. She tries to score elusive vaccine slots every day to no avail, but it keeps us looking forward. My job has required in-person reporting, but my doctor is quite concerned about what we have learned about how Covid poses many risks to the immunocompromised. Now I'm in the process of requesting ADA accommodations until fully vaccinated. I'm struggling a lot with my feelings about internalized ableism, and will probably try to write it out later.

Financial progress from January:

Got a second stimulus check. Our second stimulus check is going towards debt repayment (see below), charitable giving, and increased emergency cash reserves. Will we get a third check? Time will tell. Our family isn't hurting as much as some, but since I'm blogging this massive debt repayment and would qualify for the full amount under every proposal made to limit income, I can tell you we would greatly appreciate the stability booster.
Waited patiently for mortgage Refi--still not processed. I hate feeling like I'm in transition here, but paperwork processing has slowed to a crawl in this environment.
Filed taxes early! We will qualify for a large refund this year, owing to 1) my desperate fear that my withholding was being miscalculated, 2) not having a second job or freelance work for most of the year, and 3) Maryland's student loan program. More debt payoff is on the horizon for 2021
Debt Progress: Here are the numbers for the end of January:
- Balance Transfer 1 (0% through March 2021): $1,500
- Balance Transfer 2 (0% through April 2021): $4,700
- Balance Transfer 3 (0% through August 2021): $5,200
- Grad School 1 (5.5%): $1,588.57
- Grad School 2 (5.5%): $4,218.43
  TOTAL Remaining: $17,207.00
  Amount paid off this month: $1,526.20
  Amount paid off TOTAL: $27,048.78

When I include mortgage debt and my undergrad student loan (very low interest rates), I've paid off $38,744.44 since starting this whole endeavor in January of 2018. Not bad for just three years! I'm hoping some expected windfalls in the first half of this year will allow us to finish paying off those credit cards and grad loans before the end of this calendar year. It will be close!

I'm Coming Back to My Little, Free Blog!

2021-02-06T09:21:00.002-05:00

Well, I enjoyed my foray into semi-professional blogging with Wordpress and a fancy hosted site and all that nonsense, but I missed just writing some ideas and sending them out into the world. Also most ways of making money on blogs is not at all aligned with my values. Blogger is quite simple and straightforward. I will be archiving some of the work I've done on Free, Fun, Family over the next month, but by the end of March, that site will disappear.

I'm happy to be back. I'll keep this called "Going Places" for now, but after my archiving, etc., I will be looking for a new way to mark this transition in my life.

Welcome new friends who may have only known me from Free, Fun, Family. If you have an urge to go through this blog, you'll find a lot about my relationship with my husband before we got married & our early life.

Looking forward to continuing this journey together!

2020 Financial Review and Debt Elimination Update: Q4 October-December 2020

2021-01-18T16:30:00.003-05:00

Originally Posted on January 18, 2021 on Free, Fun Family

This has certainly been a memorable year for everyone. And for some, finances have been tight and pinched as job losses, furloughs, and hour reductions dried up income sources; for others, the booming stock market (driven mostly by mega companies who provide delivery services) has caused dramatic gains in Net Worth. We are well aware of the good fortune we have to mostly be in the latter category, though we did not hit most of the targets I set for 2020.

Most of the final months of 2020 were consumed with catching up on work tasks I’d fallen behind on during our family crisis mode and taking over the daily caregiving tasks of my mother’s post-stroke recovery. We also had a challenging, but enjoyable, holiday season owing mostly to the difficulties of the ongoing coronaviruse pandemic. Of course, my blog has been sadly neglected during this time, but I have been making some modest financial progress. I intend to return to monthly debt updates/financial progress posts in this year, rather than the quarterly reports, but I do need to wrap up my 2020 financial year as a whole to feel unstuck.

Baking Christmas cookies with Grandma was a fantastic way to end 2020.

Adjusting to the long-term nature of the pandemic, since vaccination will likely not be completely effective for “normal life” until at least spring, has required us to create new routines and reexamine our values and priorities. We are so very blessed that we have been able to make it through difficult times with increased love and connections in our family as well as forward financial progress (even though it has been slower this year).

Financial progress from Quarter 4 (September-December):

Began using YNAB (You Need a Budget). This is a popular budgeting software. I have used the free tracking softward Mint for about a decade, but after reading Jesse Mecham’s book about the philosophy of YNAB (affiliate link if you want to try it), I decided to give it a try. I’m loving it; it has completely changed my relationship with budgeting and spending money. I will write a whole post about that soon.
Applied for a refinance for our mortgage. This should be completed by the end of January and again, deserves its own post. Ultimately, the refi should result in the following things: lower interest on the loan, more flexibility in cashflow with a smaller minimum payment, and the ability to pay it off faster by putting more towards the principal each month. I ran the numbers and the loan should save us about $35K in interest and 3 years for repayment, based on our current repayment plan.
Kept Christmas spending reasonable. Our kids have had such a challenging year, it was tempting to go wild. We checked our values and made a few well-loved choices.
Debt Progress: Here are the numbers for the end of December:
- Balance Transfer 1 (0% through March 2021): $2,790
- Balance Transfer 2 (0% through April 2021): $4,800
- Balance Transfer 3 (0% through August 2021): $5,300
- Grad School 1 (5.5%): $1,598.47
- Grad School 2 (5.5%): $4,244.73
  TOTAL Remaining: $18,733.20
  Amount paid off this quarter: $1,264.27
  Amount paid off TOTAL: $25,522.58

2020 Goal Accomplishment (feel free to disregard if you had a rotten year):

We have a healthy savings account again. Our emergency fund/sinking fund is now large enough to easily get us through a month or two of no income. We might use some of that to payoff the credit cards before the 0% expires, but I want to wait until we’re through the school budgeting cycle and I know more about my job security for next school year.

Overall in 2020, we decreased our total debt by $9,139.77, though only $3,000.87 of that was our targeted debt reduction. This was less than our plan of $15,000, but I’m happy that we are making clear progress.

We increased our giving this year by more than 2% of take home pay, though quite a bit of that was the personal loan we forgave to a family friend in March. I am proud that increasing our giving has been a major part of our financial plan. We’re now at the rate I want to maintain until this debt payoff is finished.

I did not buy any clothing in 2020. Clothing shopping ban, completed! In some ways it was “easy” because of the shut down, but I also found it a bit challenging because I was not pleased with my “loungewear” selections, which were mostly ratty pj-stuff and exercise wear, the cute stuff of which was uncomfortable. I broke my ban in January to purchase some yoga pants and joggers that have remained on my “want to buy” list all year long. I will try to do this every year, and only purchase clothing in a very thoughtful way going forward.

I gave up on decluttering physical objects, but I did deactivate Facebook around September and don’t have any interest in reactivating it, so I’ll call that a win. I also slowed down a lot this year, though that was more imposed than intentional. However, I embraced the process. I will be very selective in what we bring “back” when we return to “normal.”

We also saw a net worth increase of 39%, mostly due to increased college savings, debt payoff, and a bananas market. Our net worth has minimal impact on our daily lives, but can present a useful picture of where we stand. Still under the Millionaire Next Door formula for wealth accumulation, but getting closer.

Happy New Year from our Free, Fun, Family to yours.

As a final note, I am so glad to put this horrible year behind us. I know that 2021 has had some bumps in the road already, but I am clinging to hope and peace as we usher in the next decade.

Core Personal Financial Beliefs and 2020 Financial Goals

2020-01-29T13:45:00.001-05:00

Originally Posted on January 29, 2020 in Free Fun Family

After spending too much time on Twitter, sometimes this happens. Today, I’m turning it into a blog post. Why not?

I want to take a moment to state my current beliefs about finances and my financial goals for 2020. However, every time I go to write that post, I can’t seem to get Ramit Sethi‘s voice out of my head. This annoys me because the author of the brazenly titled I Will Teach You to Be Rich very clearly has financial goals (to get rich) which I have recently begun to realize are not my goals. However, Sethi gave a powerful keynote speech at FinCon19 about knowing your voice and message, being unapologetically committed to your viewpoint, and free of guilt about spending (money or time) on your values. I may not want to be rich, but I do want to have a clearer point of view for this blog.

If I asked you right now, “What is your point of view?” would you have an answer?
Ramit Sethi, FinCon19 keynote speech

Writing is my favorite way to process the world and connect with others, so I’ve been blogging in some form or another off and on over the last 20 years, but since becoming a mother (and especially in the several year period of grief following the loss of my dad), I’ve struggled with the shift in my voice and my identity. I began Free, Fun, Family primarily as a way to share the journey of our family as we try to live a life of freedom and joy in a world that seems designed to keep us all perpetually dissatisfied and wanting. (Yay, capitalism?)

Because we had a mountain of debt in 2018 that was interfering with our family’s ability to live in the way that we wanted, the blog has also served as a way to keep me accountable to meeting our financial goals. We’ve done some of the hard work to correct our habits, and we will eventually get out from under this debt (although some days it’s harder to believe than others).

I have come to realize, however, that my values for personal finance were not clearly articulated. So what is my point of view about personal finance?

I believe debt can be a useful tool, but that the deregulation of the banking and loans industry has lead to predatory lending and unnecessary inflation of living standards that exploits human nature and is harming the American public. Because I have the ability and privilege to understand some of the harmful practices of lending institutions, I have sometimes used these tools to save money (such as student loans, introductory offers, mortgages, and balance transfers). However, my participation in these practices does not sit well with my ethics any more. While I will continue to use some of these consumer tools to pay off the debt I have incurred, I will be more mindful about how my use of them to my family’s advantage is harming others without the same privilege. I will be more vocal in speaking out about the harms of such practices and the need for regulations to protect consumers from the financial industry.
I believe that people have a personal responsibility to manage their finances, but that the economic conditions of American capitalism devastate families at a faster pace than American self-reliance can keep up. I value frugality and living within your means. Unfortunately, the way healthcare and public education funding works in this country leaves far too many families with choices not about whether or not to forgo the daily $4 luxury coffee (thanks, latte factor, which is not AT ALL gendered…), but rather with the choice of taking on an additional $150,000 in mortgage to access a school district that aligns with their children’s needs or pay $2000 for a live-saving medication not fully covered by their insurance. I’m also not a fan of dumping the responsibility of investing and saving for retirement onto individuals (re: the move from defined pensions to 401ks).
I believe that talking honestly about our relationship with money, consumption, income, and wealth can help undo harmful narratives and expose the exploitative practices we need to change. One of my favorite aspects of being part of the personal finance blogging community is coming across articles where individuals confront the racial wealth gap and the gender wage gap in ways that are not just academic. I am committing to continuing to contribute my own story to this narrative by talking about things like immigration policy and real-life financial decisions.
(Here’s the most controversial one, friends): I believe that material success is much, much more determined by external, random factors (parental income, location of birth, health conditions, etc.) than personal qualities, although personal improvements and education can help individuals rise to their most glorious humanity. People are incredible and wonderful–they work so hard and achieve so much. I’m not saying they don’t. Just that our tendency to look at “success stories” makes us think there is something personal and easily replicable about the achievements of people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and Oprah. There are at least 10,000 equally spectacular and intelligent hard-working humans who did most of the same things as these household names that didn’t “make it” for each one of these superstars. Imagine if our world allowed for the possibility of 10,000 of each of them instead of a winner-takes-all competition to the “top”? (For more about this, I recommend Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers.)
Humans are capable of creating a more just world, and are obligated to do so. I’m an optimist; a “humanist in a captialist world” as a friend once described her husband. We built the systems and institutions that made the world unfair and exploitative. We can change them.

In short, I believe that the world of personal finance is not a just one, but that it’s the one we have, so you have to learn to play. I also believe it’s important to use your wins to fight for a more just world. I’m playing by the rules to get out of my own debt, but if those rules were to change now and become more fair for the world, I would celebrate that progress rather than lament the harms I suffered.

Now that we’re all clear about what we stand for, what are my financial goals for 2020?

Repair the emergency fund and sinking fund to minimal levels and resume monthly contributions. These were just about wiped out over the last three months for both planned and unplanned expenses. It will mean the debt repayment will slow a lot over the next three months, but having those funds were what enabled us to continue progress instead of going further in debt.
Reduce total debt by over $15,000. That will include an estimated $7,000 in the debts (mortgage and undergrad student loan at 1.65% interest) not included in our Debt Elimination project, so I guess I’m trying for over $8,000 paid off on the debt freedom thermometer. Woo hoo!
Improve % of giving by more than 1%. I loved what giving did for my finances and my values last year, and I will continue to grow in this area. I have this as a goal until out of debt when I plan to set it at 10%.
Declutter 100 items a month from my home. I have struggled with consistent motivation, but I think this is manageable for me this year.
Mindful consumerism to reduce expenses. Continuing to question my purchases and their impact on the planet and people. This includes an already-begun shopping ban.

Going beyond will include retirement contributions, college savings, and freelance pursuits, but right now I’m dealing with back pain, and we all know that doesn’t make bigger goals easy. I feel these goals are big and yet manageable. I might get more ambitious when I’m not doubled over half the time.

This post, and my philosophical exploration, owe a great deal to the following fellow bloggers and Twitter pals. If you’re in the mood for more thoughtful explorations of personal finance and its intersection with fighting back against harmful institutions, I recommend reading a bit from these folks:

Matt Lane, who blogged about Personal Finance and Politics
Tanja Hester, who wrote recently about You’ve saved up for early retirement. Can you help to save the world?
Penny, who blogged about Why I Still Pick Up Pennies
the76Kproject, who blogged about What I Learned From A Week Of Reducing My Plastic Use And Trying To Be A More Conscientious Consumer
GovWorker, who blogged about Finances for a Frugal Family of Five
StephtheBlogger, who blogged about Pulling Yourself Up by Your Boobstraps

7 thoughts on “Core Personal Financial Beliefs and 2020 Financial Goals”

GovWorker says:
January 29, 2020 at 4:24 pm Edit
Yes. Yes to all of this. Personal responsibility and choices we make are important. But they don’t happen in a vacuum. And the real world doesn’t fit into the narratives we’re often given. Some in the PF space don’t need health insurance because they workout. Others say that it it is impossible to get ahead in this world so you might as well keep buying all of your subscriptions because what is the point. Thanks for articulating your core beliefs. I think I need to work on doing the same. It’s easier to not do that because you can be a chameleon and blend in with many crowds. Thanks for being bold and standing out.
Reply
1. Diana says:
  January 29, 2020 at 4:49 pm Edit
  Thanks for the encouragement. It’s important to do what you can, but please acknowledge that the system is rigged, especially if you are one of the benefactors. Dismissing the very real challenges faced by people is just so last century. Side note: the “I don’t need health insurance because I’m 29 and run marathons” people TERRIFY me.
  Reply
Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life says:
January 30, 2020 at 1:19 pm Edit
I’m right there with you on all of these philosophies and I thank you for the perfect quote to link to in a pondering post that I’ve been working on for a few weeks.
I’m doing my best to be a good steward of our money this year and every year, to set ourselves up for the future, and that absolutely includes giving back to help people. No matter how little I had, this was an important tenet. There’s always someone less fortunate we can help at point, or something we can improve, and we can hardly be part of a community if we don’t or won’t see that, IMO.
Reply
1. Diana says:
  January 30, 2020 at 1:50 pm Edit
  Glad you found the quote and my philosophies palatable. I hope 2020 is the year more people realize that the “bootstraps” narrative–stripped of all context–is incomplete. I do feel that shift happening in some circles.
  Reply

About that Emergency Fund: Roof Replacement

2018-06-12T12:57:00.004-04:00

Originally Posted on June 12, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

Ours is the end unit. See that roof with those two leak holes–I mean skylights? This is from three years ago when she was already an old lady. Farewell, girl. RIP.

We’ve known since we moved into our beloved home five+ years ago that we were due for a new roof. The house is 24 years old with the original roof–four years past the maximum expected for the current roof. We’ve known that we were going to have to cough up $4,000-$8,000 at some point, but we kept hoping we could save up for it after debt repayment was complete. This weekend, the rain finally won–we have a small leak around the skylight in the master bathroom.

I’ve had a variety of emotional responses to a major home repair in the middle of finally mastering debt and crawling out of our hole.

“It’s not fair!” It’s not. Toughen up, buttercup!

“Maybe we should just repair it and wait?” (This is the method Dave Ramsey recommends, by the way, which made us give it more thought than we really should have since we knew the roof was past its time). Wait for what? The drywall to soak through and mold to start growing in the attic? Our debt payoff will take another 21 months or so. No thanks!

“What’s the point? Every time we get a little bit ahead, we just get sucked back into debt!” This is a dangerous line of thinking for me, because when we emergency replaced our HVAC unit last summer (where a substantial portion of our current debt comes from), I gave into this and it caused me to increase our debt in the second half of the year because the number just felt too high and ridiculous!

“You could use the IRA contributions… you haven’t touched them to pay off your debt, but this is your HOME! It’s an emergency!” Yes, but it’s one we knew was coming and should have planned for. Just like we should have managed our finances better and not been in this precarious debt situation in the first place. We did this to ourselves–the IRA is for retirement.

I knew I needed to do something different here. We needed a new roof. Ultimately, being stingy here would make the final costs much greater. Instead, I took a deep breath.

I looked at the big picture of how far we’ve come in four months. We’ve reduced our credit card/consumer debt by almost $7,000 in just four months. That’s enough to pay for the roof plus some! Our habits are changed. While we have a big vacation coming up that was planned pre-debt-elimination, and we will enjoy it, we have no other major expenditures planned/anticipated for the next few years other than the roof. We have some things we WANT for the house, but really the roof was the last thing hanging over our heads as a NEED. We have $1,000 in the emergency fund and can tighten our belts even more in the coming months. I know I’m getting a raise in July (final amount pending, but it was approved by the governing board) and that our frugal habits are sustainable. We can do this!

We took a few bids from local, highly rated roofers and decided to go with a local guy who could squeeze in the job while Min and the kids are in Korea, so they don’t have to deal with a construction site one day. He quoted us a touch over $6,000 ($4,800 for the roof and $1,200 to replace the skylights). His bid was in the low-middle of the offers (ranged $5,500-$7,000). This guy, specifically.

Now, how to pay? We could put it on a credit card, but I’m so focused on paying off that debt, I really don’t want to add to it. It would feel like a step backwards. I looked into home repair and home equity loans. Too much paperwork and fees! In the end, I decided on a $5,000, 3-year personal loan with an interest rate comparable to our (low interest) credit cards, no origination fees, and no prepayment penalties. Hopefully, we can zap the balance when we’re done paying off the credit cards, but this will keep the loan manageable and fast.

Bye, bye emergency fund! I guess I am going to have to try to sell off some stuff to restock it to $1,000 quickly.

This journey to gain control of my finances has made me feel more confident about this emergency, even with the fears of hopelessness, than I have felt about similar problems in the past. I have the confidence to keep going down this path to building wealth.

They say when it rains, it pours; luckily it’s just a trickle right now. Easily patched.

Book Review: Meet the Frugalwoods

2018-06-07T12:47:00.000-04:00

Originally Posted on June 7, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

I enjoy reading books by bloggers I admire because it makes me hopeful that this practice in writing that I enjoy so much could be one way to make the hobby I love a profession. I have read a bit of Elizabeth Willard Thames’s Frugalwoods blog on and off since she started it back in 2014. Her eschewing of the dangerous, unhealthy consumerist culture in the U.S. (while still functioning within that society) is something I have struggled in reaching my own personal goals. I enjoyed reading even more when she became a mom and achieved her dream of homesteading, which is also when her blog picked up in popularity. However, I was delighted to see that her first book was published in March–right when I began to get serious about my return to blogging!

Thames and her husband have achieved financial independence at an early age through a combination of hard work, frugality, and vision. Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independence Through Simple Living is the story behind the blog posts. I loved the story! I enjoyed parts of the book that rounded out the story–the details from her time as an Americorps VISTA volunteer and the process of buying the homestead and then settling into it were particularly interesting.

Thames is aware (and acknowledges) that she was in a privileged position to reach her goal, which some people have criticized, but I think she is quite sincere about her awareness of this privilege and appreciation for it. I admire how positive she stays, even when sharing some incidents that were undoubtedly painful and emotionally fraught (her depression while living in DC, her anxiety about work as a high-achieving liberal arts major after graduating from college, her daughter’s week and a bit in the ICU). I think this ability to focus on the positive and remain grateful for what opportunities and resources she has been given allows her to make the best use of those resources.

It would be easy to read this book and nitpick. I’ve read a lot of reviews of it that do so (the most common complaint seems to be that both Frugalwoods had extremely high salaries which she almost never mentions, and that Thames’s husband is still working full time in his well-paid, location-independent job; I don’t think that lessens the work, planning, and research they did to achieve their dream life). I hope Thames does not take these comments too much to heart.

I really do think the best thing Thames offers in her work is an understanding that long term financial goal achievement is only possible through positive perseverance and clarity in values alignment. While my family is currently restrained by some limitations she and her husband were not during their hyper-focus on their goal to purchase a homestead, I think she sets out a clear path to follow that could lead to whatever goals a person wanted to achieve, even if they take longer than she did.

Live the best life you can–the Frugalwoods do and encourage others to do so as well. Thanks for writing, Liz!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links for convenience. I would be overjoyed if you checked these books out from the local library to read their wisdom! However, if you would like to purchase my recommendations and financially support the work I’m doing on this blog, please feel free to use the links above.

Attitude of Gratitude: My Dad

2018-06-05T12:45:00.005-04:00

Originally Posted on June 5, 2018 to Free, Fun, Family

Today is the fourth anniversary of the death of my father. It’s hard to write about it, because Dad and I were very close for most of my life. The grief I have from this loss is still overwhelming at times. He was a funny, brilliant, stubborn, laid-back man who worked hard at what he loved (engineering), for those he loved (his family), sharing his passion for what he loved (sailing–see the picture of him on the dock).

Dad helped begin my love affair with frugality and fostered my anti-consumerist tendencies, but also reminded me that it is ok to spend money on what really matters in life. He supported all my adult career and personal decisions, loved Min and J deeply, and never failed to make the right joke at the right time. I cannot adequately express the joy and love he brought (and continues to bring) into my life. That he will never know H (and she will never know him) is one of the few real regrets in my life.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” (Dad’s favorite Dad quote.)

Now that I am a parent, I appreciate the constant, steady presence Dad had throughout my childhood more than ever. He loved my mom in a way that taught me what romantic love really should be. He encouraged me to take chances and believe in myself. I feel his absence every day, as do the other members of my family. But lately, I’ve been in a place to just appreciate what time we were able to share. Life is short; Dad’s impact is enduring. I hope to provide my own children with as much acceptance, humor, and challenge as my Dad provided me. Thanks, Dad. Always.

Debt Elimination Progress: May 2018

2018-06-02T09:48:00.004-04:00

Originally Posted on June 2, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

Given that we’ve made significant progress in reducing our spending and increasing our debt repayment that are major, sustainable behavior changes, I felt comfortable pursing an option to reduce the interest we’re paying on our current credit cards: balance transfers. I applied for one balance transfer card that had 0% interest for 15 months and no transfer fees. They approved me for a bit over $3000. Then I applied for another card at 0% for 18 months with a 3% balance transfer fee (this will take only 2.5 months to come out ahead of our interest rates). They approved almost $10,000. These two allowed me to eliminate my highest interest rate balance (the Visa) entirely and reduce my next-highest rate (the AmEx) by about $5,000. I will save over $100 in interest every month, which can help pay off the principal much faster! Because of the balance transfer fee, the amount we reduced our debt by this month was a bit less, BUT we should catch up quickly!

Progress from May:

Continued to reduce food spending. I’ve started baking at home, making my own salsa and pizza, and went to Aldi (already in love with it–you will see a post when I’ve been a few more times). I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for this budget area and finally feeling less out of control in this area!
Balance transfer cards. As described above, we are committed enough to really paying off our consumer debt once and for all to make this worthwhile for us. I didn’t do it at the beginning because I know I’ve start “payoff” plans before and quit; balance transfers can be a big risk for debt repayment, but I feel quite good about our ability to pay off the balances before the introductory rates expire.
Our debt payoff is slowing down, but we are still making progress every month. I anticipate a modest raise in July, which will help, but our pace is slow and steady for May and June as we prepare for a lengthy trip to Korea to spend time with family. We continue to focus on ways to reduce our spending. Here are the numbers for the end of May (with new accounts considered):
- Visa Card: $0 (transferred and finished)
- Home Improvement Loan: $3,500
- AmEx: $8,000 (transferred a lot)
- Balance Transfer 1 (0% for 15 months): $3,038
- Balance Transfer 2 (0% for 18 months): $9,589.30
- TOTAL: $24,127.30
- Amount paid off this month: $508.88
- Amount paid off TOTAL: $6,828.70

Add the reduction of non-consumer debt and we’ve torched $8,546.41 of debt in four months.

Goals for June:

Cancel cable internet while in Korea
From June 20 (when the kids and Min leave for Korea): absolute minimum groceries until I leave.
Try spin classes when other exercise classes are cancelled as the Y rebuilds–keeps me focused on goals.

Learning to Blog Again

2018-05-11T15:28:00.000-04:00

Originally Posted on May 11, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

Getting back in the saddle.

Confession time: Although this blog is a bit under two months old, I am not new to blogging. I began journaling online in college, and experimented with several platforms, without much success. For several years (2007-2011) I maintained a personal blog using the Blogger platform called Going Places when I moved to South Korea to teach, lived there for three years, met and married my husband, and moved back to the U.S. This site gained modest popularity within the expat blogging community living in Korea, and I made several real life friendships through blogging. I enjoyed it immensely, but since I was mostly blogging about life in Korea, I had trouble continuing to blog at the same site when I moved back to the United States.

I stopped renewing my domain two years ago; the site is still there, but only because I haven’t bothered to properly archive it. I’ve tried several times to pick up blogging again (writing at my old blog, writing about marriage, writing about parenting, etc. etc.), since writing is an essential piece of my happiness, but my efforts have usually fizzled out within a few weeks. Life got busy, I was taking graduate coursework, raising two young kids, holding down two jobs, and managing some health conditions. Life isn’t necessarily less busy right now, but I’m making more of a commitment to all aspects of my health in 2018: physical, financial, spiritual, and psychological. Blogging (writing) is part of that journey.

I’ve actually been thinking about starting a blog about family fun/frugality for years, but was finally inspired to take the plunge after spending some time on Shannon’s Affording Motherhood blog. I appreciated her optimism, honesty, and can-do attitude towards blogging and saving money. It made me brave enough to try again. I still want to be a writer (published–I know I am a writer) when I grow up!

So far, I’m enjoying my writing journey at Free, Fun, Family. Min shared my post about my amazing sister-in-law with her, and she appreciated it. Several friends and family members have said kind words about my reboot. I’ve started, cautiously, to take it public: to let people in my life know I’m writing, commenting on blogs, linking on social media, etc. If you’ve happened upon my quiet corner of the internet, thank you for taking the time to read my work. Please feel free to drop me a note in the comments, and let me know what you think.

Family Fun Tip: Festivals

2018-05-04T13:52:00.009-04:00

Originally Posted on May 4, 2018 in Free, Fun, Family

Spring has finally sprung here in Maryland. In our delightful small city, family-friendly festivals are held year-round. However the pleasant-weather months of Spring, Summer, and Fall are the heaviest seasons for festivals, since they are usually outdoors.

Every year, our family attends between five and twenty-five festivals or similar events within close driving distance. We’ve been to farm festivals, history festivals, nature festivals, children’s festivals, Asian/Korean/other culture festivals, holiday-themed festivals (think Fourth of July or Halloween), wine/cheese/maple syrup festivals, and more. We spend time researching different events in our area and challenge ourselves to find new ones, even as we reprise visiting our favorites.

Such events can be quite expensive, with many opportunities to spend money on food, clothing/gift items, and activities, so it pays to do some work to keep costs down and maximize the fun without a lot of spending. Here are my tips for maximizing your frugal enjoyment of these festivals:

Look for festivals with no or very low entry fees, and watch for hidden fees. And watch out for “free” entry, but then everything associated with the event costs money (parking fees, tickets to purchase for activities, extra money for tastings, etc.). Most of the festivals we frequent are free with free parking, but we’ll pay a bit if it offers a lot of entertainment value for our whole family. I find that festivals sponsored by nonprofit entities (health agencies, parks and rec, churches, libraries, etc.) tend to be better about this than private organizations, but not always. One of my favorite festivals for our young children is the spring/fall festival at a local commercial dairy farm (where the goat picture came from). They are very generous with their samples, full of fun activities and performers, and free hayrides up a mountain.
Pack most of your food, but splurge on the “special treat.” Most festivals have food vendors selling very overpriced, mediocre meals. It’s easy to spend $20 (or more) for a family of four on crappy sandwiches and/or room temperature pizza. We usually pack a decent picnic lunch, water bottles, and snacks, but plan to spend a little on something unique to the festival–like purchasing some maple candies at the maple syrup festival or ice cream from the aforementioned dairy farm. That said, we still limit our portions and share (two single servings are usually more than enough for the four of us).
Beware impulse purchases. You are having a great time. The weather’s lovely! Your children are happy and cooperative! These nice artists are here talking about the local sources for their supplies–and suddenly $50 for a pair of earrings for Mom’s Christmas gift doesn’t sound unreasonable at all… STOP! Most vendors will have contact information and an online store. You can still support them if you enjoyed their art and their story, but there is no need to make that decision RIGHT THERE.
Look for discounts. One of our favorite carnivals is the local firehouse carnival. There are two or three nights they offer “Ride All Night” for one price specials. But even better–if you buy these tickets a month or so in advance, they cost less than half what they do if you buy them at the door. Some of the sponsors of festivals have deals through their websites or even through services like Groupon. It doesn’t hurt to look around.
Beware crowds. Try to find less popular festivals. Or go when the weather is less optimal (cold, windy days and light drizzle are still fine if you have proper outerwear and an enterprising attitude). Or arrive really early. Crowds usually mean long lines and whiny kids–NOT FUN.

Get out and learn about your community without much cost! What was your favorite family festival experience?