Non-Stop Mom

I thought I could let it go....

2013-05-20T23:55:00.000-05:00

....but I can't.

To put it mildly, I'm pissed. I mean it. Absolutely livid.

A couple of months ago, I went off on a little tirade about the Boy Scouts' ban on gay members. I got it out of my system, and life was good. I made the decision at that point to keep Alex in Scouts until after the vote on whether or not to lift the ban happened. Anyway, it was delayed, and from what I understand from our meeting tonight it will be held on Wednesday.

We didn't have a regular Scout meeting tonight. Instead, we had our committee meeting - the grown ups sit around and talk about boring stuff like finances and planning outings and stuff like that. The subject of the vote was brought up, as apparently there had been some question as to whether the church who charters our pack and troop would continue to charter it if the ban was to be lifted. We were informed that regardless of the vote, the church would continue to charter the Scouts. I was happy to hear this.

Now, at this committee meeting there were 5 or 6 other adults, plus me. Our leader was trying to plan things out for the next few months, and was informed by several of the other adults that they would be leaving the organization if the ban were to be lifted - which left the leader in a bit of a bind, because he can't plan any outings for the boys until he knows if he has any adults left or not.

Seriously?

(For the record, as if you didn't guess already, I informed the leader right then and there that if the ban is lifted, he can count on me to be more involved than ever before.)

OK. I understand that the Scouts is a Christian-based organization. I understand that it is a private organization and can make its own rules. I understand that when people joined, they knew about those rules (except for me, the clueless one) and they were ok with them.

Now the rules might be changing. So they want to leave. Keep in mind that BSA is not looking to change the rules for adult leaders - only for the kids.

So these adults, who are supposed to be role models for these young boys, are going to bolt straight out of the organization because they might have to be in the same room with a kid who is gay??? Really?

News flash: There are gay people everywhere. They're in the grocery stores and the libraries and the public pools and in schools and hospitals and banks and post offices and shopping malls and *gasp* maybe even working IN THE SAME OFFICE WITH YOU!!!! If they haven't turned you gay yet, what makes you think that they're out to do that to your kid too? If you are so worried about your kid being exposed to someone who is gay, then you'd better not ever allow that child out of your house. Really.

Look at these two images. Read them. These are pictures that I just took of Alex's Cub Scout Tiger Cub Handbook.

Where exactly does it say that the purpose of Cub Scouting is to shun someone who does something that you don't like? Where does it say that someone who is different than you doesn't belong in Scouts? Where does it say that a boy who is gay is not worthy of being a Scout?

It doesn't.

Character Development. Is there a better way to develop your child's character than to show him that it's ok if someone does something that you don't necessarily like? What is so wrong with teaching your son that it's ok to agree to disagree? Doesn't that build character?

Respectful relationships. A relationship doesn't only have to be between a man and a woman. It can be the relationship between a group of kids. There is a group of kids that I see playing together after school on a regular basis - just judging by appearances, there are girls, boys, blacks, whites, Hispanics, and even a little Muslim girl who all play together - and they are great friends. They are all so amazingly different from each other, but they respect each other's differences and have a great relationship with each other.

Values? They want to preach about values? Look at that list: Compassion. Courage. Honesty. Respect.

RESPECT.

Right there, in black and white. The eleventh Core Value in Cub Scouting.

Respect.

How in the hell can we teach our kids respect if we don't show that same respect to ALL other people?

Respect for kids shouldn't be selective. They're KIDS. Show them respect. Show adults respect (unless they give you a damned good reason not to do so).

Seriously people. Get over it. Yes, you have a right to your beliefs, just as I have a right to mine. You're not right and I'm not either. But as adults, we have the responsibility to be positive role models for all kids today. Do you want to teach them that it's ok to be close-minded and exclusionary, or do you want to teach them that it's ok to accept someone who is different from you? You can accept the person without accepting their beliefs.

Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum.

St. Augustine originally said that around the year 424, give or take.

Know what that means?

Love the sinner, but hate the sin.

You don't have to agree with everything that everyone does. But learn to respect the fact that everyone is different.

It was a dark and stormy night. OK, not really.

2013-05-19T23:27:00.001-05:00

It was kind of a typical Kansas springtime afternoon and evening here in this neck o' the woods. There were thunderstorm and tornado watches and warnings all over the state, we've been warned for days that it could get ugly today.

My immediate area got nothing but wind and rain, but there were tornadoes in other areas that in the grand scheme of things - are not that far from me. Some of my friends have damage to their homes, but luckily nothing is severe.

I enjoy the storms. I don't know why, but I do. I watch the radar and I stay aware of what is going on, but I don't get scared. I did get a little worried tonight, but as usual we just didn't get much. Anyway, here are a few pictures.

Obviously, the storms don't bother him either. He looked out
the window for a few minutes, then took a nap.

After the storms

Another after shot.

Just to give you an idea of how hard the wind was blowing -
this porch is completely covered by a roof - yet was soaked
along with the walls because the rain was coming in
horizontally.

Front yard

Water flowing down the street. And my glorious crocs.

After.

The joys of living in town - can't get a decent shot
without power lines and buildings.

The calm after the storm.

And some video of Round 2 from tonight:

Last minute change of plans...

2013-05-18T23:46:00.000-05:00

...and sometimes those are the best.

We didn't really have plans to do much of anything today. Well, I was going to clean and do laundry and stuff, but that was about it. Then a friend of mine texted me to let me know that she and her son and her girlfriend were going to be at the lake near our house and we should come out and say hi.

I mentioned it to The Dude, and he said that we should go fishing while we were there.

The mad scramble ensued.

I got a quick shower (yes, before I went fishing) and dug the fishing poles out of the garage and tossed them into the van along with the chairs. The boys and I went and got The Dude, we ran a couple of errands, dropped Alex off with The Dude's mother (he, uh, had some issues and lost the chance to go fishing) and took off for the lake.

We stopped at the bait shop first, where Daniel swindled The Dude out of a quarter...and we got our fishing licenses for the rest of the year. Now, we are free to go fishing whenever we want to go - and I fully intend to do exactly that.

Then we cruised around for a while until we found our friends. The joy of that lake in particular is that there is virtually zero cell phone reception - and that's a good thing when we just want to unplug and get away.

A few random shots...

Getting situated.

Trying to figure it all out.

Giving a few more pointers.

There was the threat of severe weather.

Across the lake.

Travis's first catch - and yes, photobombed by some punk who
wouldn't leave us alone, even when the park rangers sent
him back over to his parents.

Love this view. Even with the crocs and
ugly pants.

Raven's foster puppy. She was so tired.

He got bored with fishing and decided to dig holes.

And he caught one...

First catch - for him.

It was actually clear for a while.

My big - and only - catch of the day.
I even sacrificed a worm by throwing him straight into the water
in an attempt to appease the fishing gods and allow me to catch
just one fish - but it didn't work.

Budweiser can - a quick google search placed it from 1996.

His second one.

Christine and Travis, giving each other a hard time like only
mothers and sons can do.

Like a little old man...

Raven wasn't thrilled about being this close to it.
But she was a good sport about it!

And his third catch. The big showoff.

And of course we had to do the goofy couples pictures, just for the heck of it.

Me and The Dude (obviously)

Raven and Christine

So anyway, we had a blast but had to scoot out of there fairly quickly as the weather started to roll into the area. We got back into town, picked Alex back up, grabbed some pizza, came home, ate, did baths..... and now I have to do all of the cleaning that I didn't do today while I was out drowning worms. I get to work bright and early in the morning (yay - extra hours!) so The Dude is going to be hanging out here with the kids while I go and do that, and then maybe I'll get to take a nap in the afternoon. Ha.

This...

2013-05-16T23:18:00.000-05:00

...is my happy face.

So I was trying to watch the road too.
You get the idea.

That is how I looked as I drove my van home tonight.

My van. We have it back. And it runs like a charm. Actually, I think it runs better than it ever did, but I'm going to reserve final judgment on that until I drive it for a few days, just to make sure. But I drove it about 20-25 miles tonight and had no problems - so I think we might be good to go for now.

I am so incredibly thankful to have it back. It will make all of our lives so much easier and so much less stressful. And for everyone who helped out while I was wheel-less....THANK YOU. The last month or so has been so incredibly stressful, and just having it back is such a huge relief - not only on me, but on The Dude and the kids as well. It'll even help Ex1, since the majority of kid transportation has been falling on him lately.

One less stressful thing to have hanging over my head.

Life is good.

A glimpse inside my head.

2013-05-15T23:55:00.000-05:00

...and it's kind of a messy place to be right now.

Ever have one of those days when you just have so much stuff on your mind that you can't even make any sense out of it whatsoever?

That's me today. This is the 4th attempt at writing this post.

I don't even know where to begin.

I'm tired. I'm cranky. Actually, I'm just downright exhausted, and everything keeps piling up on top of me higher and higher and I'm getting really tired of it.

Between not having my van, and dealing with the recent breakdown of The Dude's truck, and working more hours at work, and him not working because of his injured shoulder, and trying to handle the normal household stuff, and still trying to figure out how to get us and The Dude moved into one house, and our newest project of trying to get him into school in the fall (I'll be dating a college student - how weird is that?), and handling the kids' attitudes, and preparing for summer vacation, and trying to plan a weekend getaway for me and him - I'm pretty sure that I'm about to lose my mind.

Not that there's much of it left.

To be completely honest with you, I had a bit of a meltdown (or three or four) on him tonight. Sometimes the stress just gets to be too much and I lose it, and I take it out on him. And I hate when I do that and I feel horrible about it - yet he just takes it all in stride. I kind of freaked out on him because there was no way that I could plan anything for this evening, because anything that we wanted to do was contingent upon other people deciding what they were going to do - and I snapped. What was the subject of my snapping?

World peace? Global warming? The economy?

No. It was what to make for supper.

And how did he handle it? He got up and starting digging through the fridge and freezer, and he made supper for us and the kids.

What did I do? I let him have control. I walked out of the kitchen and went and stretched out on my bed and I fell asleep. I have no idea how long I napped, but I did it.

I still don't know why he puts up with me - and I told him that again tonight. Whatever the reason is, I'm thankful for it and I don't know what I would do without him. I know that we're going to get through all of this BS at some point in time.....but I really wish that it would happen sooner rather than later.

At some point, we need to catch a break. But at the same time, at least we know that we can handle the rough stuff - because we've sure been through a bunch of it already - and we still kinda' like each other.

Can't really complain about that.

Late night cleaning observations

2013-05-14T23:55:00.000-05:00

~ I get much more cleaning done when The Dude is here using my computer - because I can't get distracted by it and sit down "for just a minute" instead of cleaning.

~ Crayon chunks multiply and hide in every nook and cranny of this house.

~ Pieces of crayon wrappers multiply exponentially and find even more interesting places to hide.

~ I am thankful that my kids aren't into Legos - but stepping on a toy car is also painful.

~ Sand should be banished from every playground in the world. Or shoes should be made so that they are sand-proof.

~ Hardwood floors are easier to clean than carpet when sand is involved.

~ The kids bring home entirely too many papers from school.

~ I don't have the burning desire to clean off the top of my desk until someone else is sitting there using it.

~ All couch cushions should be permanently attached to the couch, with no way for anything to slip underneath them. On second thought, hard plastic benches that are able to be powerwashed might be a better idea than anything that is upholstered.

~ Knowing that my mop is broken and unusable makes me want to mop the floors more than usual. Knowing that I can't do that is irritating me to death.

~ Sitting here making a list of late night cleaning observations while The Dude runs home to get paperwork that he needs is just enough of a distraction to make me not want to clean anymore tonight - but maybe if I get off of my butt right now, I can have the top of the desk cleaned off by the time he gets back over here.

More fun and games....

2013-05-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

A few pictures from yesterday....

We celebrated Jared's 9th birthday with our traditional cake and ice cream...

And we also celebrated Mother's Day with a big dinner with us and The Dude's mother and brother. However, somehow in the chaos we managed to not take a single picture - I'm still not exactly sure how that happened.

Although....I did snap this one right before the food was ready....this would be my dishwasher - that was full of dirty dishes and had just started to run when it decided to crap out and flood the kitchen. Luckily, I noticed it just a few minutes after it started so a handful of dirty towels were enough to soak up the water, but of course that left me with all of the dirty dinner dishes PLUS all of the dirty dishes inside of it that had to be washed. By hand.

So of course by the time I got done washing dishes, I had them piled up on every available flat surface in the kitchen - and I really need to get the rest of them put away - not to mention figure out why my dishwasher decided to spring a leak. Hopefully that's something stupid, but we all know the way that my luck with anything mechanical has been running lately.

I do find it ironic though - that dishwasher was given to me as a Mother's Day gift in about 2001ish - and it died on Mother's Day.

Alex had a Scout meeting tonight, and since we still don't have my van back (maybe tomorrow) we walked - which isn't that big of a deal since it's only about 6 blocks to get there. After the meeting, we decided to buzz over to the library since I had gotten a message that one of the books that they were holding for Emily was there and we had to go get it. We went and got the book, and started walking home. We got within about 2 blocks of home when Alex realized that he had left his Scout book at the library. So we turned around and walked back to get the book, and then turned around again to go home.

By this time, of course Daniel decided that he just couldn't walk another step - so he ended up on my shoulders. Thankfully he's still small enough that I can do that - but it does make tying my own shoes a little bit more difficult. But, that's what kids are for, right?

He did it!

2013-05-11T22:55:00.002-05:00

I was going to post a whole bunch of pictures of my yard and flowerbed - you know, the whole before/after thing - because we spent most of the day out there working and getting things cleaned up and prettified.

But honestly, the best part of the day was right here....

First time ever - on two wheels. And he did it all on his own.

And yes, you can hear me squeaking like a deranged chipmunk. Stupid allergies.

Random observations and happy stuff

2013-05-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

I know I've been doing more random posts lately, but that's pretty much how life has been going for us. Nothing is nice and neat and tidy anymore - including my brain (not that it ever really was)...

HAPPY DANCE: The Dude got his truck running again! He showed up here around 6am this morning, got the boys up and ready for school, and then took them to school and let me sleep in a little bit before he took me to work - AND he gave me a ride back home AND we picked the boys up from school. It was so nice to not have to walk everywhere for the first time in weeks.

RANDOM COMPLAINT: Thanks to my latest allergy attack, I have totally lost my voice. It squeaks in and out occasionally, but for the most part all I can do is whisper-yell. I have come to the conclusion that trying to yell at/for the kids with no voice makes me sound like a pissed off chipmunk. Seriously. Stop laughing.

HAPPY/HOPEFUL: The Dude took some more car parts to the guy who is fixing my van (we bought him some other parts as payment for fixing it) and the guy said that he had my van about 95% taken apart and from what he could see, there was no other damage to the engine from the blown head gasket. I still refuse to believe it until he's completely done with it, but at least it's looking promising at this stage of the game. And we might even have it back by the end of the weekend.

RANDOM ACCOMPLISHMENT: I have been totally slacking on laundry lately - between my work schedule and having to take the extra time to walk everywhere, I've just been washing and drying everything and piling it up in the laundry room. But I can now say that all of that in the picture is folded and put away with the exception of a few random things that still need to be done - and I've also done and put away about 4 other loads tonight. Baby steps.

RANDOM WEEKEND PLANS: Tomorrow has been deemed Official Yardwork Day. The grass needs to be mowed and the flowerbeds need to be weeded - and it's all going to get done tomorrow since the weather is supposed to be decent. Sunday is Jared's birthday - so far he has requested cinnamon rolls for breakfast, Snickers/peanut butter ice cream with his cake, and meatloaf for supper. And a football - but it has to be a real one, not a dumb one.

On that note, one more laundry flip, and then I'm going to dump all of the stuff off of my bed, and I'm going to go to sleep. I will kick these allergies if it's the last thing that I do.

So I was walking to work...

2013-05-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

Since both of our vehicles are dead, I've been walking back and forth to work a lot over the past couple of weeks. I don't always go the same way - but I made sure to go a certain way today specifically to get pictures of this.

Doesn't look so bad from here...

Then as you get a little closer, you realize exactly what is going on...

Yes, that is a dog - doing its best to scare the living crap out of anyone who walks past its 6' tall privacy fence.

The first time I walked through here, I had my head down and my headphones on, and all of a sudden there was really loud barking and growling coming from above my head. I'm pretty sure that if someone filmed it, they are very rich right now because I squealed and jumped and just about ran, thinking that I was about to get attacked. There are at least 2 dogs in that fence, and they throw a royal fit every time I walk past - because of course I keep forgetting about them and so I keep walking past them. Like an idiot.

Just a few blocks away from the psycho-dogs, I get to walk past some Kansas skyscrapers.

Hopefully, today was the last day that I have to walk for a while. The Dude *thinks* that he has the truck fixed, but I refuse to believe it until I actually see it for myself - because I just know the way that our luck runs. I did manage to hitch a ride home after work with a coworker, so that was nice. And a friend took the boys to school for me this morning - and that was a huge help.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In other news.....in case you didn't catch it on my facebook page, it appears that the Tooth Fairy has to make another visit. Luckily, a letter isn't necessary this time around since the boys don't seem to trash their room as much as the girls do.

Now I have to go throw a load of laundry in the washer so that I have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow....and I think I'm actually going to try to get to bed at a reasonable hour again because for whatever reason, my allergies are kicking my butt. Blah.

Day in pictures

2013-05-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

Walking to school.

Walking home from school.

Love this old bridge - and it's still used.

A box of gaskets.
On top of a pile of laundry.
On top of my unmade bed.
Because that's how I rolled today.

My empty driveway after my van was towed away.
*sniff*
*PleaseLetHerComeBackFixedQuickly*

Just trying to catch the colors.

"Mom, I'm stuck!"

Aunt Doris's peonies.

Pouring rain water out of the swing seats.

I really need to mow again. Already.
Totally not complaining though.

Ah, the irises. Symbolic of so much for me.

Random thoughts and stuff.

2013-05-07T23:57:00.000-05:00

~~As tired as I am of not having my van (or The Dude's truck)....I am grateful that I get to see sights like I did while I was walking the boys to school this morning. The sunrise over the creek running through town was gorgeous, and there was just enough of a chill in the air to make the temperature perfect.

~~Judgmental people are everywhere right now. Holy crap, people - I'm not even talking about blog stuff now, I'm talking about real life idiots who think that they know what's best for everyone when in reality they have no clue!

~~The rain and snow that we've had over the past few months have definitely helped with the drought that we've been experiencing. The creek finally has water in it, but it's still not at capacity, and it's still pretty slimy. But, it's water. And we need it so desperately.

~~The boys seem to be getting used to walking everywhere - and they even enjoyed walking home from school in the rain this afternoon (even though it was barely sprinkling).

~~Wint-o-green lifesavers are addicting.

~~No matter how much time I spend organizing the top of my desk, it still looks like a disaster area.

~~I get more cleaning and organizing done in the 10 minutes before company arrives than I get done all day long.

~~Having a store directly across the street is convenient when I run out of dishwasher detergent, but deadly when I have chocolate cravings.

~~My van is supposed to get towed out of here tomorrow evening and taken to the guy who is going to fix it for me. The parts are supposed to be here tomorrow, a friend is towing it for me, the guy says he can do it, but I won't feel better about it until he calls me and says that it's done because my biggest fear right now is that something else major is going to go wrong and it's not going to be able to get fixed and then we'll be back to square one.

~~The Dude went back to the doctor today to get the results of the MRI on his shoulder, and although there is some damage, it's not as bad as we previously thought - so NO SURGERY! Yay! Best news that we've gotten in the past few ~~weeks~~ months.

~~My legs and ankles are finally starting to feel better after Sunday's little race. I'm still a bit sore, but I definitely survived. Having to walk back and forth to work and to school has kind of forced that issue though (although I may have gotten a ride or two here and there)(I'm human).

~~I need more lifesavers.

So I did this little race today...

2013-05-05T19:00:00.001-05:00

It was the race that almost didn't happen.

I did not train for this - and I really should have. But life keeps getting in the way and making getting out to run harder and harder to do. I almost skipped it because I knew that I wouldn't do well.

Then, there's the whole Lack Of A Running Vehicle issue. But thanks to a wonderful friend who loaned me her car for the day, I had a way to get there and back. So The Dude spent the night last night and we got up bright and early and loaded Daniel in the car and took off for Wichita.

They watched me start, and then they took off to get some breakfast for themselves. And I ~~ran~~ jogged and walked until I felt like I couldn't go any farther, and then I kept going. It was cold, and breezy, and it drizzled almost the entire time - so it definitely wasn't optimal running conditions. But at the same time, it was better than the thunder, lightning, and torrential downpours that we had last year, and at least it wasn't 95 degrees either. So it definitely could have been worse.

My good luck kiss.

The start - lots of people.

Somewhere around mile 10-12.
I was DYING but I refuse to walk
when I see a camera aimed at me.
I'm weird like that.

"Come at me, goose. I dare you."

I spotted Daniel waving at me from across the river.

OK, so he caught me walking. But - I was tired. LOL

Coming up to the finish.

.....and DONE.

Foil cape on my back, medal in my hand, and an orange
heading for my mouth.

Love the post-race hugs.

Another one to add to the collection.
Although this one is a bit..... festive.

As far as my time went - I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I did better than I expected for my lack of preparation. I hurt right now, but not as bad as I had thought I would - although it's still early. We'll see how I feel in the morning, because I bet it's not going to be as good as I feel right now.

I know that I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again. I couldn't do these races without the support that I get from The Dude. He's the one who keeps encouraging me and telling me that I can do it, even when I don't want to - and knowing that he's there at the finish line waiting for me makes it all worthwhile. He really didn't feel up to this today - but he went with me and took care of Daniel and took pictures for me and drove me home so that I could regroup - and for that I am forever thankful.

Yep. I looked like an idiot.

2013-05-04T22:50:00.000-05:00

So, the CF walk was today.

Ashley won the challenge. And I kept my end of the bargain.

It was cold outside. And rainy. And windy. And miserable. But, she "dressed" me with a little bit of help from The Dude - who tossed in his own Cowboys jersey for good measure.

I about gagged when I put it on, but I suffered through it.

She took great enjoyment in my "tattoo".

Yes, that says "I LOST THE BET' on my forehead.

Start of the walk

What was left of our team - the rest of them were wimps
and bailed on us.

Keeper of the Plains

A sign of things to come tomorrow morning...

Ashley and me

Yes. It's The Dude's jersey. And I even wore it for the rest of
the day - only because I was really cold and it was another layer
of clothing.

So there you have it.

And now I can get ready for tomorrow.....hopefully the weather will be better, and I can cross the finish line upright and not in a body bag.

13.1 miles..... here I come.

Broken down

2013-05-03T22:58:00.000-05:00

Today has been rough. Actually, the past couple of months have been.

When I was thinking about what I wanted to write about tonight, I started out thinking that it was going to be a total rant-fest, with me doing nothing but complaining about everything that is going wrong in my life - because honestly, right now, there's a lot of garbage that is going wrong. I seriously spent hours today crying my eyes out. I'm talking full-blown sobbing, snot bubbles, drooling, gasping-for-air ugly crying. For hours. I truly felt like I was having a nervous breakdown or something, because I just couldn't take it anymore.

But as I started to calm down and think more and more about it, I realized that yes - things kind of suck right now - but at the same time, there's still a lot of good stuff too. And I need to think about that or else I'm going to lose what little bit of my mind I have left.

There's been a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff going on that has been incredibly stressful on me, and honestly no one but The Dude knows all of it. I haven't even told my best friends about all of it and I know that I've been pushing them away because I don't want to talk about it yet. It's been so hard, and he's been amazing through all of it (as usual).

He hurt his shoulder a few weeks ago. Badly. He really can't do much of anything right now. The MRI is scheduled for Monday and then we'll have a better idea of how much damage there is and what the next step will be. Until then, a lot of extra stuff is falling on me. I had to drag my mower over there the other night to take care of their yard, even though I was tired and cranky and irritable - but you know what? I like to mow. I was glad I was able to do it. And I got a workout. And it's one less thing for him and his mother to have to worry about getting done. Win x4.

My van. Ugh. Blown head gasket. The garage wanted $2300 to fix it. Ha. Instead, The Dude talked to his friend who talked to his buddy and bargaining was done and deals were made and parts were ordered and it should be fixed within the next couple of weeks for about 1/5th of that quote. I can't complain about that.

The Dude's truck. It's been my temporary set of wheels for the past few days - until this morning when it started to overheat and spew coolant out of the engine. Fearing the worst, The Dude took it and dealt with it while I was at work. Although I ended up having to do an unexpected 3-mile ~~sprint~~ really fast walk to get the boys from school, he was somehow able to replace the thermostat by himself (with one arm) for a grand total of about $9.

Unfortunately, while the sealant on the new part cures, it can't be driven for 24 hours, so I missed the girls' band concert tonight. And I thought that I was going to miss the CF walk tomorrow, but thanks to a dear friend offering me a ride (which involves her going WAY out of her way) I will be there. I will be wearing a horrible outfit, but I will be there.

I got this part-time job a few weeks ago, only planning to work a few hours here and there for some extra spending money - but with everything else that is happening (and costing us money) I quickly realized that I need to work more hours. I talked to my boss about it and she is willing to give me more hours AND work around my availability - and until The Dude goes back to work, he'll be able to help me with the kids in order to make all of this happen.

There's a lot of other smaller things going on at the same time - but I always find it amazing how all of the big crap decides to go wrong at the same time - and it's so easy to get sucked into the horribleness of it and forget that there's still good stuff happening too. I know that we're going to get through all of this at some point - we'll get my van fixed and get his van running and get his shoulder fixed and find our dream house and pay off all of our bills and life will be better than it is now - but I just have to be patient and keep working toward that, one day at a time.

Our Final Plea

2013-05-02T23:52:00.000-05:00

Corban

I'm going to keep this short and sweet for a change.

The Great Strides Walk for Cystic Fibrosis is on Saturday.

We need your help. More specifically, Corban needs your help.

If you don't know who this gorgeous little boy is, then you need to read his story that was written by his mother OVER HERE AT THIS POST. Hopefully, once you read that, you'll understand why this walk is so important to me.

And hopefully you'll want to help us to raise some more money.

You can donate in Ashley's name HERE.

Or you can donate in my name HERE.

She's beating me in the challenge overall because she's been hoarding some cash donations that aren't included in her online total. But I don't care - I'm willing to do whatever it takes to raise more money, so if that means strolling through the streets of Wichita in a moomoo and mohawk (or worse), I'm ok with that.

But, if we raise the full $1500 that we've been working toward, The Dude has agreed to do the walk in my tutu.

Please help us. If not for the comic relief and the funny stories that will come from the walk, then do it for Corban and every other kid (and adult) who has to deal with this horrible disease every second of every day of their lives.

I know that times are tough right now. Trust me, I know. If there's no way that you can spare a few bucks, then will you please share this post? That doesn't cost a thing and can still help to raise awareness.

More zoo shots and stuff....

2013-05-01T22:57:00.002-05:00

So I got to spend yet another day at the zoo today. Unfortunately the weather wasn't as wonderful, but it was still decent. It was hot, then cold, then hot, then cold...a few sprinkles, lots of wind, you know - typical Kansas stuff.

What's not typical is that although it was in the mid-80s for the past couple of days, it's going to be below freezing again tonight and tomorrow night. Blah.

So.....random zoo shots from today...

Excited to get there!

Excited to be there!

Are they..... SMILING at me?

I vant to.....oh, nevermind. Too cliche.

Add caption

Another red panda sighting!

Obligatory self-portrait - but he was getting tired.

This just makes me giggle.

If I had 1/10th of the energy that these three had....

Yeah. We were both pretty wiped on the way home.

In other news....

Came home to bloomin' irises.
Too bad they're going to FREEZE.

The Dude has been diligently working on a plan to get my van fixed - using his connections and whatnot to hopefully get it done for a fraction of the original quote, but we'll see what happens. Nothing is definite yet, so I'm still driving the chariot until we get the van done - and hoping and praying that his plan will work...

Winning the lottery would definitely help, but well, you know....

And last but not least...... if you haven't had a chance to donate yet, PLEASE DO. The walk is on Saturday and we need your help. Rumor has it that Ashley might be beating me in the donations, but I could have a few bucks stashed up my sleeve to throw in at the last minute - so if you want to see me strolling through the streets of Wichita in whatever ridiculous get-up she has me wearing - you'd better throw some more money in her direction. Or share the post. Whatever works to get the word out there and find a cure!

Too much fun for one day

2013-04-30T23:38:00.001-05:00

I took entirely too many pictures today. That's all there is to it.

Daniel and I went to the zoo - along with roughly 60 other kindergarten kids from his school. We got to spend the majority of the day there, and I only had him and one other little girl with me so we were able to really enjoy it. I even got to ride the school bus, which brought back some interesting memories from *cough* 20+ years ago.

I managed to narrow down the 300+ pictures that I took, and here are a few highlights....

Love the otters - they're always so playful, but hard to capture
with the camera.

Red Panda - only the second time I've actually seen one - they always
seem to hide from me.

Sad gorilla.

Timon!

He was a little worried about the hippo.

Obligatory dorky self-portrait.

Didn't even notice the heart at first.

She was a 'take charge' kind of gal.

Who wouldn't want to examine the poop???

Baby!

What's up with the hearts?

After we got back to the school, I ran home, grabbed the truck, grabbed The Dude, ran a couple of errands with him, got the boys from school, took The Dude home, ran a few more errands, dumped the boys at The Dude's house, and went to Sarah's track meet.

This girl....she amazes me. Seriously. She kicked some serious booty tonight.

Cruisin'

Absolutely loving the green. Finally.

She ended up with 5th place in high jump...

4th in long jump.....

They got 2nd place in the 4x100 relay....

...and thanks to her amazing lead they got first in the 4x200 relay.

The weather was glorious and amazing and almost hot and sunny all day long - I even got a little bit of a sunburn. It's a good thing that I got to enjoy it today, because I get to go back to the zoo tomorrow with Alex and the rest of the 1st graders.....

.....when it'll be barely 60 degrees....

.....with a 60% chance of thunderstorms.....

.....and the possibility of snow tomorrow night.

Wish Flowers

2013-04-28T23:37:00.000-05:00

My kids call these "wish flowers".

They pick them, make a wish, close their eyes, and blow with all their might, hoping that the power of their breath is enough to force every single piece of "cotton" off of the stem, granting their wish immediately.

To see their innocence and hope every time that they do this is both inspiring and heartbreaking. Knowing that they have placed all of their hope and faith on a common weed makes me realize just how trusting they can be, but knowing that the weed doesn't have the power to make everything right is just as disappointing for me as it is for them.

As their mother, I want to make all of their wishes come true. As a human, I know that's impossible. How can I do for them what I can't even do for myself?

As a parent, I think one of the hardest things ever is to see my kids want something and not be able to provide that for them - be it a material item or not. It's no secret that I don't have money to burn, so when the kids ask for something.... a new bike, or new 'cooler' shoes, or to go out to eat, or whatever... and I have to say "I'm sorry, but we can't afford that right now" it absolutely breaks my heart. But at the same time, I try to use that as a teaching moment - "we can't always do what we want all of the time, but if we work toward a goal and save our money, we can do it another time" or something similar to that. I think that it teaches them something, and I think that they learn to appreciate things more because of this, and I know that will help them in the long run - but it doesn't negate the fact that right now - it sucks.

I hate using money - or the lack of it - to teach my kids life lessons, but when you get right down to it, so much of our lives nowadays revolves around money. Our kids are being taught by society in general that they have to have the newest best biggest brightest thing or they're not cool - and to me, that's just wrong. And I'm trying to teach my kids that they don't have to have all that to be cool.

Every now and then, there's a moment when I think that maybe I've gotten through to them - like today, when we were driving to church in The Dude's chariot and Emily looked at me and said "Mom, when I get old enough to drive, I want a truck just like this - I don't want a new one, I want an old one" and I could have hugged and kissed her right then and there if I wasn't driving. She thinks that the old beat up truck is cool - and that makes me so happy.

Right now, 98% of the enormous stress in my life revolves around money - or the lack of it. We need money to fix my van, we need money to move, we need money to get The Dude's surgery on his shoulder, we need money to plan our yearly TMOART to see my parents.....money money money. But as The Dude reminded me today: "We will get through this - we've gotten through worse, and we'll get through this too, because we're too badass not to."

Don't tell him, but I'm beginning to think that he's my own version of a wish flower - except that instead of me being able to push him around and get my way, his strength in tough situations is what is keeping me from totally losing my mind.

That could have gone better.

2013-04-27T22:34:00.001-05:00

Today was the first 5K that I've done in quite a while - since September, maybe? I didn't train like I should have, so I knew that it was going to be a struggle - and it definitely was. I had to walk quite a bit of it, but I was also able to jog more than I thought that I would.

I've done this same race 3 times before, and it's always taken the same route. As we started running, things were going fine and we were going the same way that we always had - but then at one point, everyone started going a different direction. The chalk line on the road went in the direction that I thought that we should have been going - but we didn't. I followed the crowd, thinking maybe they had made a last minute adjustment to the course because of the rain that we've been (thankfully) having lately.

As it turned out, we all went the wrong way - so instead of running the full 3.1 miles, we only did about 2.9. I'm not happy - and neither are a whole lot of other women. But, there's nothing that can be done about it now. It also means that our times aren't accurate - I mean, our total time is (although it's not for 3.1 miles) but our pace isn't because we didn't do the full distance.

Anyway, I finished in 40:41, and Emily finished in 39:15 - at least I'm finally starting to catch up with my kids, but I don't think that I'll ever be faster than they are.

There were a few people running.

Blah.

Not quite sure what I was doing there -
probably praying for survival.

Keeping themselves amused during the race.

Post-race snack.

I made it!
And to give credit where credit is due, Ex1 took this picture.
(He was there to watch Emily and his wife run.)

My chariot...and other random thoughts.

2013-04-26T23:28:00.000-05:00

Since my van is officially dead - to the tune of $2300 to replace a blown head gasket (ha! right!) - it's sitting in my driveway until we figure out what to do with it. I refuse to panic about it yet - I did enough of that yesterday. Today I started making phone calls to figure out ways to do it cheaper than that - and I will not panic again until all of my possibilities are exhausted. It's not worth the panic. There are bigger problems in the world. This is just a hiccup.

(Yes, I'm trying to convince myself of that as well.)

Anyway, since The Dude is out of town for an extended playdate with his buddies, he handed over the keys to his truck. It isn't pretty, and I can be heard from miles away, but right now it gets us where we need to go.....

Yes, we have reverted to the days of lap belts and actually rolling down the windows. There is nothing computerized or electronic about this baby - and that's ok with me.

We will use the chariot to get us to a 5K tomorrow - Emily and I are running. Well, she's running, and I'm probably walking since I haven't done anything to get ready for it. Life has just been too hectic lately. I'm bummed, but at least I'm still getting out there to do it. And no matter how slow I go, I'm still lapping everyone on the couch.

I have to remind myself of that next weekend when I do the half-marathon. Whoops.

.....speaking of Emily......

For crying out loud, people. The Tooth Fairy letter surfaced again today. People just need to get over themselves and stop armchair parenting other people's kids. Seriously. The pages who shared it were awesome - and they made sure that I got credit for it (which is more than the majority of pages who shared it did) but the people who commented on it - WOW. Most of the insults were aimed at me, which is fine. But there were a few who insinuated that my kid was lazy, or disrespectful, or whatever. Don't get me wrong - my kids are far from perfect, but I will not put up with strangers badmouthing them when they don't even know my kids. And so, to those people I say..... judgmental people suck.

Finally....I know that I've been sharing THIS POST a bunch. But it's really really important. Read it. Share it. Please. And notice the challenge - because as of right now, no one is going to see ME in a moomoo and mohawk. If you want to change that, the only way is to donate more money. Take that couple of bucks that you were going to spend on your next cup of overpriced coffee and donate it to a good cause. Seriously. It doesn't take much to add up to something big. And that something big could be a cure.

The best part of the day

2013-04-25T21:43:00.000-05:00

I dropped my van off at the garage this morning to get the issues with it diagnosed - needless to say it did not end up being a happy experience. There's no way that I can afford to have them fix it, so I'm going to go back up there tomorrow and pick it up and limp it home and then we'll work on figuring out Plan B. I've already had my nervous breakdown over it, and I refuse to stress about it anymore. We'll figure it out, just like we always do.

The Dude is leaving tomorrow to go out of town for a couple of days with his best friend and he's leaving his truck here for me to use so I won't be stranded. It's big and old and ugly, but it runs so at this point, I'll take it. At least we have something to use for a few days.

I got lots of walking in today too. And it was kind of funny - as I was walking home from work, I heard this loud truck rumble past me and when I looked, it was The Dude and his mother heading back to their house after an appointment. I tried to get his attention, but he wasn't looking in my direction - so I walked to his house (I was only about 2 blocks away at that point) and made him drive me home so that we could talk about the van - but I also told him that he got brownie points because since he didn't notice me walking down the road, I knew that he wasn't eyeballing girls while he was out running errands. ;)

But the best part of the day was going to the boys' parent-teacher conferences. These were student-led conferences, meaning that the kids had checklists of everything that they were supposed to show us in the classroom, and they checked off each one as they completed it. Then we talked to the teacher and the kids got a coupon to use at the book fair. The Dude has been struggling with his injured shoulder, but he managed to make it through the conferences with me, much to the boys' delight.

Reading corner in Alex's room

Showing off artwork

Alex's tennis player

Daniel reading us a story

Daniel's artwork

The Dude and Daniel - they had to go get his flower that
he forgot to get from his room.

Both boys are doing well in school. Academically they are both ahead of where they need to be. There are some behavioral issues, but nothing that isn't already being addressed. All in all, I really can't complain. And having The Dude there to go to the conferences with us - especially since he really didn't feel up to it - means more to me than he'll ever know.

A year of love...and bizarre connections

2013-04-24T22:41:00.000-05:00

One year ago today I took a step that I swore that I would never take again.

I finally admitted that I was in love with The Dude - and I told him.

It was kind of funny how it came about. A dear friend of mine needed a ride to the airport in the wee hours of the morning. She came here and spent the night, and we got maybe an hour of sleep before we had to get up and hit the road for the 3 hour drive. The Dude spent the night as well so that he could take Alex to school for me that morning, and he was still (half)asleep when we were getting ready to leave. I was honestly worried about having an accident because I had gotten so little sleep and had 6 hours of driving ahead of me, and I figured that if I was going to die in a fiery crash, then by God he was going to know how I felt about him. (Yes, that is seriously the thought that went through my head at the time.)

Before she and I walked out the door, I walked back over to the bed, sat down on the edge of it, gave him a quick kiss and told him that I loved him. And yes, he said it back to me. :)

Needless to say, I made it back alive - and incredibly happy. We've made it through great times and bad, but somehow we always manage to do it together and we haven't strangled each other - yet. I'm still not sure how he puts up with my crap on a daily basis, but he does and I am forever grateful for that.

Dreaming of hot days out at the lake.....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, here's where the story gets kind of funny. The friend who needed a ride to the airport - well, she has a facebook page and a blog and they can be found here. We have another friend who - surprise - has a page and a blog and they can be found here. The three of us have been friends for almost 9 years now, and we've also had our shares of ups and downs - but we'll always be friends no matter what. Plus we have this really bizarre connection - 1st Time Mama and I share our "non-anniversary" - we each married our first husbands on August 14, 1999 - long before we knew each other. August 14 also happens to be Ordinary Girl's birthday.

Plus, today is 1st Time Mama's birthday AND it's the anniversary of the day that I admitted that I love The Dude.

There are other eerie similarities and connections between the three of us, but I'll leave the rest of it up to your imaginations!

So, go and visit their pages and make sure that you wish 1st Time Mama a very happy birthday too - she's on a road trip at the moment so I'm not sure how often she's checking in, but it would be cool for her to find lots of birthday wishes on her page!

Grocery shopping - NSM style

2013-04-24T20:31:00.000-05:00

Some of you expressed an interest in how I was able to go to the grocery store today and buy a month's worth of groceries for me and 2-5 kids on $216. I promised that I would explain, so here it is.

My first step was to make up a menu.

Keep in mind that I don't have all 5 kids with me all of the time. The older 3 spend half of their time at their father's house, so on those nights I generally don't plan meals - we either eat leftovers, or I make something small for the 3 of us who are here. I plan the meals for when we are all here. The kids also eat breakfast at school on some days, and also eat lunch there - so that cuts down on my meal planning a lot (until summer break).

Once I have the menu made up, I go through meal by meal and list out all of the ingredients on my grocery list. After I get the first draft of the list made, I go through the cupboards and cross off anything that I already have, and double-check to see if I need anything else. At that point I have my final grocery list.

I don't really do coupons. Our grocery store sends some out based on our purchases, and so I use those because they're actually for stuff that I use. But I don't have the time or the patience to do much more than that with coupons. Not to mention that I don't have the storage space for 873 cans of tuna or 47 cases of toilet paper. I buy what I need - period.

So....what did I buy?

The stuff that's edited out is just what was duplicated when I took the pictures - so what you see is every single item that we got.

Yes, there's a bottle of Mt. Dew and a king-sized Snickers up there at the top. We were hungry. And thirsty. But other than that, there is no junk food on there. I don't buy cookies and chips and crackers - I make all of our snacks from scratch. It's not that I think I'm SuperMom or anything like that - it's just cheaper. And while I'm (obviously) not a health food nut, if I make the stuff I at least know what's in it.

I splurged a little bit and got a 10 pound package of ground beef this time although we didn't really need that much - but it was on sale and this way we'll have it. I'll divide it up into 7-8 packages tonight and stick it in the freezer to use for meals throughout the month.

There's also not a ton of fresh produce on there - and there are a couple of reasons for that. To be completely honest, we don't eat as much as we should (although we are getting better about it). Also, where I now work I can get some produce and lots of dairy stuff at a slight discount AND it's super fresh - plus I don't have to have the cash for it because they just take our purchases out of our paychecks. So I will be getting more of that stuff throughout the month, but not in large quantities so that it will be fresh and not go to waste.

But as of right now, there is enough stuff in this house to make everything on that menu - plus some. So although I will have to get a few more things throughout the month, for the most part I am done grocery shopping for the next 4 weeks. I also plan to keep track of the little purchases that I make here and there and get a better idea of the total amount that I spend over these next 4 weeks, but I'm guessing that I can keep the total under $300.

PLEASE NOTE: Some of you know where I live, and/or where I shop. It's obvious that this is a Kroger store, but let's just leave it at that, ok? And I am NOT going to say where I work, so don't ask - and if you know, please don't say it. I hate to even have to bring this up, but I've had to do some filtering over the past couple of weeks so I thought I'd just mention it here. I know I put a lot of my life out here for everyone to see - but that doesn't mean that I want to give the wackos and nutjobs directions to my front door.

I have a plan...

2013-04-22T22:58:00.001-05:00

Earlier this evening, I mentioned that I was formulating a plan - but I didn't say what it was.

Well, here it is: the reveal.

Seriously, it's not that big of a deal. Well, it kind of is. But not really.

I always say that I'm going to plan out my month of meals so that when I get my money towards the end of the month, I can do one huge grocery shopping trip and be done with it. Sometimes I do it, and sometimes I don't. What usually ends up happening is that on that day, I spend a couple of hours paying bills, then run some errands, and then race into the store "just to get something for tonight" and then go home. Then the next day I get just a few more things - and so on and so on, and I end up running out of stuff and it's really annoying.

So, since we didn't have to go anywhere tonight, I sat down and started making a menu for the next month - with the help of so many wonderful people on my facebook page. But I made the menu, and then I made the grocery list - more or less.

Both of them are really pretty rough drafts at this point - I'll probably rearrange a few days on the menu because I forgot about an after-school activity or something like that, but for the most part, my menu and my grocery list for the next month is DONE. I can tweak it some between now and Wednesday, but now as soon as the kids are in school I can pay the bills and go to the store before I go to work, and all will be good.

This is something that I really want to stick to this month - with me working now, my time is even more limited, so doing this should really help to eliminate some of the stress and chaos that I deal with on a normal basis - theoretically, at least.

So that's one problem solved.

Now to figure out how to get my van running again. And to get The Dude back up on his feet. And to get moved into a bigger house.

Winning the lottery would definitely be a big help right about now. But since that's not going to happen, it's just one battle at a time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Don't forget about this.

We still need your help.