Out of My Mind

Sometimes the lessons we teach are meant for us to learn

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:23:00 +0000

My three kids are wonderful. No, really… they are and I love them but sometimes they’re just dense. They’re pretty good in school, don’t get into trouble, nice kids – but they don’t listen. I find that I repeat myself about certain things – over and over and over again and they just ignore me. Some of these are small lessons, true, but some are pretty important to learn now so that they’ll know what to do when they’re all grown up and on their own. This morning I heard myself for the hundredth time. I said, “Why aren’t you getting this? Don’t you know that this little thing can save you from drama and frustration? Once you get this, we can move on!!”

That was it. That’s when I realized that the lesson was mine to learn. In my life there are patterns and repeat mistakes where I fall into the same trap, or face the same issue over and over, like déjà vu all over again. This morning I realized that those moments are the lessons I was meant to learn, and that this morning God was hitting his head against the wall with frustration because I wasn’t getting it. I got it now, like a big “duh”!

I say to my kids all the time, that when I say it the first time, it’s in my normal voice. Over time as I repeat myself, I get louder and louder, because I assume that if you didn’t respond, or do what I asked that you didn’t hear me… So I’m going to find other ways to get through to you. God follows the same logic. He starts with a whisper to your soul, and he gets louder and louder, using other ways to get through to you until one day he practically hits you in the head: Hellooo!! You’re just not getting it and we can’t move on until you do!

Oprah has said it, I’ve felt it in my spirit, and no doubt you have, too. Life teaches you lessons every day. Just get it and move on.

One Snowball at a Time

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:32:00 +0000

I sigh. Alot. As a direct result of being over analytical, I get frustrated or just plain stuck and I sigh. While its true that between my family, my home and my job I don't often have time to think; however, given a moment of peace, a quiet lull or an hour under the dryer at the hairdresser -- my contemplative self take over and then... I sigh.

What do I think about that causes so much frustration? Oh, a bit of everything. Providing for the family with limited means, having limited opportunities to spend quality time with my hubby, paying the bills, the overdue oil change, the missing shingles on the roof, my middle that jiggles, my job, my clients and so on, and so on. Is it any wonder why I sigh all the time? Its overwhelming to think of the mountain of responsibilities and the shortage of time and resources to address it all.

Its not that so much is wrong per se, but there's so much to do and none of it is simple. Its a mountain of things to do that is my life and as such it begs the question: What does it actually take to change your life?

A new look can be achieved by going shopping. A new job can take care of maybe money, health insurance and provide a semblance of security. Weeks of dieting or months or working out can change your body and your health... or a plastic surgeon can give you similar results with the added benefit of instant gratification. Therein lies the problem. I want it all and right now, please.

Maybe I watched too much I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched as a kid and I am applying the expectation that changing your life can come with a blink or a twitch and a really cheesy sound effect. I should know better.

More than 10 years ago I quit smoking. That was not easy. Going in I knew that 16 years of smoking wouldn't go away instantly, and I would have to work at it, which I did. I tried everything: the gum (yuck), the patches and drinking lots of water (and then Entenmann's Rich Frosted Donuts, but that's another story). Ultimately, it was the one cigarette, one day at a time approach that worked. I had to fight each urge to smoke and decide not to - one at a time.

I guess that how I should approach changing my life - one bit at a time. Concentrating on everything means concentrating on nothing - which has not been successful thus far. I just spin my wheels and go nowhere. Concentrate instead on one item and work at it a little everyday -- making the consistent effort to focus on one thing until its resolved before tackling the next. Kind of like the debt snowball...

If you've never heard of it, the debt snowball method of paying off your debts requires that you pay down one credit card and when its paid off, you apply those funds to the next credit card and so on until the snowball wipes out all your debt. The key is to start with the smallest bill first, the one that will encourage you to go on.

I suppose changing your life can follow the same principle: start with the area that will yield the greatest result and let it encourage you to go on. Then watch it snowball, one day at a time.

My Friend Linda Died

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Thu, 26 May 2011 20:17:00 +0000

I found out yesterday that my friend Linda died. We worked together a long time ago, before I had kids, and before I got married. She's been my friend for over 20 years.

I call her my friend and I always will, but in my heart I know that I took my friend for granted. I hadn't seen her in years but through voicemail, email and facebook, we connected often enough to stay connected I thought.

She called me at work one hectic day this past winter. She was in the hospital she said, but she made it sound like no big deal. From winter to spring, bogged down in my own life I thought of her often. "I've got to call Linda", I would say but I never got around to it.

Finally, yesterday I took a minute to look her up on Facebook. There I saw the posts from her other friends uniting to say how much they missed her now that she was in heaven. There was a video posted, songs, and prayers but there is no more Linda.

I carried on at work yesterday stoically, quietly looking forward to a moment to be alone with my thoughts, my mourning and my regret. Finally as I laid my head down to rest on my pillow last night the tears flooded my heart and all I could say was "I'm sorry, Linda."

When the tears subsided I thought then of all my other friends whom I haven't seen in years. Obligations, state lines, oceans and time keep us apart, we all know that. But is the love I have for them in my heart enough to continue to claim them as my friends? Do they feel neglected? Do they still count me on their "friend" list?

Linda and I would leave crazy voicemails on each other's phones. She would say "CHELLE!!!!" and I would say "Lindaaaaaaaah!!". She would ask about my husband and kids and I owuld ask about her cat and her travels. (Her cat was HUGE and she traveled quite extensively, Europe and the Caribbean - pretty cool.) Then a few months later I would get another "CHELLE!!!!" and we'd connect again.

One could say that it was enough. One could say that we each knew where the other was and that no matter how much time had passed, that we could always pick up where we left off in the same old groove like peas and carrots, as Forrest Gump might say. However true that might be, I know that friendship should be more.

I heard someone say that friends are like the family members you get to choose. People you invite into your life and welcome them to stay. You're there for each other and eventually they are a part of your whole life, not just a piece of it. Linda and I connected on every major event, but still my friend Linda died and I found out on Facebook.

I have a list of friends and family members for that matter - that I haven't seen in years (you know who you are - wink-wink). Know this: I love you and you'll be hearing from me.

What about tomorrow?

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Sun, 22 May 2011 02:47:00 +0000

There was an acute awareness of time passing by today. As we went about our lives, doing the things we do on Saturdays -- at the mall, the beauty salon, and the barbershop, whether we admit it or not, there was a palpable question lingering in the air. As time ticked by you may have wondered to yourself what the future held for you -- today.

We all know we've got to go sometime, but no one knows when. Yet, the idea propagated by one man that the end was near may have instilled a permanent question mark over your head, like the quizzical bubble over your favorite comic book character's head. What if?

I was reminded of the days after September 11th. In those dark days in New York especially, everyone was just a bit kinder, more compassionate. The reality of just how close many of us came to the end of our days was enough to change our views, our directions and our philosophies. Faced with the tragic reality of the day, all of us recognized the value of our lives, of each day, of our loved ones, and of our faith that given this miraculous second chance that we'd live the rest of our lives to the fullest.

Today may have held a similar value for you. While we may have dismissed the idea that the end was near with a certain sardonic skepticism, we may also have wondered, deep down in our hearts whether tomorrow would come. We laughed about what would happen or not happen at 6PM, but you may have noticed as I did that the laughter seemed just a bit forced. Did you wonder as I did, where you would be, or where you should be? Did you change your activities at all? Did you silently glance at the clock more often that you normally would on a sunny, Saturday afternoon?

I don't know about you, but I took today as a blessing. A sweet reminder that you can only live your life one moment at a time, one day at a time. September 11 was a wake up call - an event that we lived through to remind us of the sweetness of tomorrow. So make your tomorrow count. :-)

Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 20:22:00 +0000

Some people just like pushing buttons. Remember those toys you played with as a baby? You press this button and Mickey Mouse pops up, press that one and Donald Duck pops up. Eventually the child learns how to get Mickey or Donald to pop up whenever they want. Now fast forward a few years… Let’s say you’re at work… Someone has been reading you and studying how to get the response they want from you. If they want you to be happy, press this button… and if they want you to jump off the ledge, its that one. Those are the button pushers that get a sadistic thrill from seeing you out there on the ledge. Remember near the end of “The Devil Wears Prada”? All she had to say was “Do I smell freesias?” and the poor girl started stammering.

These are the people who want to tick you off, instill fear and hopelessness in your heart. Recent news stories will help you identify that kind of behavior as bullying -- which is unacceptable in any setting. It robs you of your happiness and can turn even the most confident person into a stammering fool.

Stop stammering. It doesn’t make sense to put up with negative behavior in your life. Just because some knucklehead didn’t get enough love in their childhood, or feels inadequate or insecure in themselves, it doesn’t give them the entre’ to spread the drama. We all know that’s where the negativity comes from – misery loves company and those miserable folks love to spread it around.

Well, guess what? It’s spring. It’s time for renewal of the earth and of the spirit. Let’s start by shaking off the negative energy and flipping the script. So if someone is pushing your buttons switch it up and change your response. Stand up – in your own way of course (and preferably a way that won’t get you jailed or fired) and represent.

Take back your power, and take back your joy.

The Pied Piper of Freeport - Zumba Classes Heat up the South Shore

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 18:27:00 +0000

This little bundle of energy enters the room, all smiles and hellos. She is dressed in a black tank, black cargo pants and sneakers. She is Lilly Leon, or as I call her, the Pied Piper of Freeport. As she enters, the speakers boom with swaying Latin rhythms. Lilly starts moving and the group falls in line, like obedient mice following her lead. The Zumba class has begun.

If Zumba is new to you, allow me to make the introductions. Zumba is a hot dance/exercise class, combining salsa, merengue, samba and just a touch of hip-hop flavor. The class itself is a combination of flavors, as everyone joins in the fun and sweats like crazy for one hour of Latin beats. Look around tonight’s class and you’ll find mostly women, a few brave men, trained dancers, gymnasts, 30-somethings, 40-somethings and beyond; those who get the beat and those who live in a rhythm-less nation. It doesn’t matter, we’re all here every Tuesday night and loving it.

Admittedly, I was more than a little scared to start out. I am your average 40-something wife and mother of three who has put on a few pounds over the years. I didn’t want to embarrass myself dancing around like an uncoordinated fool struggling to keep up. A few minutes into the class, I realized I would be ok. There are maybe 100 of us in each class, lined up in rows and Lilly moves around the room so that we can all have her in our line of sight and follow along. She keeps the choreography pretty simple and basic – the kind that we can all follow. In tonight’s class of maybe 100 people, you kind of forget about everybody else and have fun, like when you’re alone in your house with just your favorite radio station for company.

What about the exercise part, you may ask… The class is set up in sets and after each set you get a little break – just long enough to take a sip of water and dab yourself with a towel before the music starts again. The hour-long class consists of maybe six sets of around 5-8 minutes each, taking you through an eclectic menu of Latin and Caribbean tempos. I’ll admit the first two classes were hard work and I didn’t think I’d last the whole hour. (Keep in mind that Zumba is, after all, aerobic exercise. This is not easy for a recovering couch potato, like me.) However, as I looked around I noticed that everyone was working within his or her own limit. Recognizing my own limits, I decided to concentrate on building enough stamina to get through the class. Once I build up my stamina, I can concentrate a little more working more of my muscles and perfecting my form to get that toned look. So for now I just do what I can, which is probably good advice for anyone starting a new exercise program. “Do what you can until you can do more” became my motto. In the end however, it is Lilly’s energy and the music party atmosphere that keeps me going.

Why Zumba? I realized it was time to get my butt off the couch and get my blood pumping again. It was either Zumba, a gym membership I’d never use, or a personal trainer I couldn’t afford. Tough decision, but Zumba classes seemed like a great compromise. Dancing one night a week for 8 weeks was less than $100 and proved to be a worthy investment and welcome escape. Where else can I go out dancing without having to dress up? Where else can I listen to the kind of music I like without my teenagers changing the station? For me, it's Zumba.

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For more information about Lilly Leon’s Zumba classes, visit http://lamystika.com/Zumba.html or send her an email at lillylamystika@yahoo.com

Social Media or Digital Schizophrenia: Dooce, The Stripper and LinkedIn

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 04:07:00 +0000

Heather Armstrong vented about her boss on her blog and got fired. She was totally within her right to exercise freedom of expression, but still she was fired for exercising that freedom in a digital form. (The irony: she may have been right about her boss, otherwise she might still be employed.)

How about the NYC public school teacher who recently blogged about her experience as a prostitute before she became an elementary school teacher? Mayor Bloomberg himself yanked her out of the classroom.

Take LinkedIn… if you are linked to your boss you may be limited in the amount of open digital networking you can do. Worse yet, human resource professionals regularly scout their employees LinkedIn pages. While the scouting may be innocent, can frequent updates to your profile trigger a call from HR with a pink slip? What if your boss or HR team Googles you – what will they find? Do you really want your HR exec following you on Twitter?

What I really don’t like is when companies go gung-ho about social media and insist that you identify yourself with the company digitally. Think about it… Is your current job your “identity”? Nothing is forever, right? If you should ever leave the company, can you de-twitter, un-link and dis-like your company? Probably not as easy as hitting the delete button, I suspect.

In a recent Wall Street Journal article the author explained the need for a positive electronic identity - an alter-ego, an elecronic Clark Kent for whom no mardi-gras, or jello shots videos exist. Creating a digital dossier that presents you in a positive light is fine for most of us – especially when you’re looking for a job and you need to convey a professional image. But I maintain that its virtually impossible to keep Superman separate from Clark Kent. Even the best superhero struggles to keep the two worlds separate (well, maybe except for Tony Stark, but he's different.)

In real life, its just not that easy. For example, let's say your latest Facebook post announces that you’re currently shopping your screenplay to Hollywood movie studios and you have a deal pending. That seems like an innocent post, but your current employer could take that as a signal that you’ll be leaving soon, or as an explanation for your extension’s recent increase in phone calls to the coast.

Clearly, I have a problem with the whole digital thing. I just can’t figure out how you can be your whole, authentic self online unless you are self-employed, independently wealthy or otherwise financially secure. But then again if you are wholly authentic, self-employed, independently wealthy and otherwise financially secure, should you really be posting your life’s details online?

As my Mom said when she found (and read) my diary when I was 14, don’t put anything in writing that you wouldn’t want anyone else to read.

Find Your Happy Place

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 02:38:00 +0000

How often is the well being of your spirit directed by external forces? When something goes right, you're on cloud 9. When something goes wrong you're in the depths of despair. Why are you giving your joy away and letting your life and happiness be determined by the actions of other people? This is the surest path to depression and anxiety. Regardless of the circumstance, the drama, the highs or the lows, stay the course, hold steady and do what you can to stay centered and grounded.

Find your happy place. If you haven't been there lately, let me describe it for you. Its that place where you know that you'll be ok no matter what life brings you. Its where your heart is filled with faith that whether they love you or love you not, your internal happiness will survive. Your mind doesn't race with worry when a door closes because you know a window will open. Your body is filled with positive energy even when those around you predict gloom and doom. Your happy place is the core of your being, the joyful spirit inside you where no one dwells except you and your God.

Take back your spirit and find the place in your heart where joy dwells. Once you find it, move in.

Happy New Year!

You DON’T Complete Me - Why you need to put yourself first.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 03:35:00 +0000

Today Elizabeth Edwards lost her long battle with cancer. She was to me a shining example of personal strength and why you need to put yourself first. Her husband screwed up, publicly. Fathered a child with another woman, denied the whole thing and then recanted admitting to both the child and the affair. He acted selfishly and his actions impacted his family and his wife.

We see broken wives everyday, who crumple and fall in the same situation. How many Oprah episodes (or Jerry Springer if that’s your thing) feature the tearful (or chair hurling) wife? How do I go on without him, they cry. What they’re really saying is “Who am I without him?”

Elizabeth Edwards died today and all I could think was that no matter what he was doing, no matter what drama he imposed, she still had to battle cancer and fight back death. While she loved him deeply I’m sure, she had to step into her obligation to fight her fight no matter what he was doing. Whether he loved her or not… Whether he cheated or not... Whether he lied or not... At the end of the day – indeed at the end of her life – she still had to be Elizabeth Edwards.

That’s a lesson I learned years ago. I was so busy worrying about what my man was doing that I began to neglect myself. I didn’t want him to go anywhere or do anything without me, for fear that if given a little freedom, he might leave forever. What I didn’t realize back then was that no matter what he did I would have to live with myself. If we divorced one day, if he passed away, or if he ran away and joined the circus – I would still be me. If I remained lost in a dance of keeping him “here” I’d lose myself.

I think that’s the thing that strikes women the hardest. We give of ourselves, nurture our families and build a home where we want everyone to feel happy, secure and loved. We build our lives around a man or our kids, but when the relationship ends and the kids grow up and move away, you’re still there. Will you know who you are? Will you be the bitter woman who blames everyone else for her loneliness? Or will you be the woman who loves herself and can be alone without feeling “lonely”?

I’ve learned that you’ve got to be whole. Never mind that “you complete me” drivel, you complete yourself. Be whole on your own. The people in your life are there to share your journey until your paths separate and you have to walk on by yourself. Are you just going to sit pitifully by the side of the road until the next person comes along and hitchhike with them? Don’t do that. It’s a road destined for loneliness and regret. Walk your own path, stop when you’re tired, smell the roses and learn as you go – but never be afraid to walk alone.

Who are you, really?

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 16:13:00 +0000

Two of my favorite female characters are Kandi Burruss of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and the infamous Samantha Jones of Sex and the City. What I love about them is that they know exactly who they are and no matter where they are, no matter who is watching, they are who they are. The irony that they are both paid to perform for the camera notwithstanding, they are both authentic characters.

Kandi is a self-made, successful singer and songwriter. She’s very down to earth, nothing fazes her and when she sees bull---- she calls it like it is. Love that. Kandi was attending a really chi-chi-poo-poo bridal shower on a recent episode, where the women were dressed to the nines – big hats, gloves, and ballerinas. So in a very small gesture, as she was alighting from her Mercedes for the event, she puts on her big hat. Looking like a new millennium Minnie Pearl, with the price tag dangling from her obviously new big hat, she snatches off the price tag and keeps on strutting. Cool.

Then there’s Samantha Jones, so comfortable in her heterosexuality – as any fan of the show knows. Always ready for whatever comes up, she’s open for new, ummm, opportunities, and she doesn’t hold her tongue – no puns intended. Even in Abu Dhabi surrounded by women shrouded in burkas, and people all around are speaking in whispers – she speaks her mind, loudly.

A good friend of mine, let’s call her PB, once told me that women get to a certain age and they recognize who they really are. They no longer live for approval, or acceptance they embrace themselves, do what feels right and keep on strutting. In today's terms, that someone is your authentic self.

Male or female, we have all bought into other people's ideas of who we are and what we should say and do. Whether its our family, or our boss, or society in general. But we spend so much of our lives and our energy trying to meet someone else's expectations that eventually we resent the restrictions and we come to resent ourselves for living half a life. Well, here's my expectation for you. Live your whole life, be your whole self, and be happy in it.

Its not an easy thing to and I don't know exactly how to do that, but I have caught glimpses of the real me..The one who loves my husband, my kids and my family - shopping, movies, good music and the beach…The one who really, really doesn't like getting up before noon...The one who doesn't like confrontations, but will handle it when necessary. I recognize those are some of the things that make me me, and I'm learning to embrace that she is my authentic self. She's not perfect, and she’s not here full-time yet but I’m working on it.

Have you met your authentic self? http://www.oprah.com/spirit/New-Years-Resolution-Just-Be-Yourself

The Lost Art of Visiting

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 00:55:00 +0000

When I was a kid, the cool thing to do was hang out at a friend’s house. Especially in the summer, when we’d sit on each other’s stoops and talk, joke around and just hang out. We watched Luke and Laura get married at my house. We played UNO next door, and watched the Thriller video (mesmerized) on a Betamax video player across the street. We’d get together and watch Hot Tracks, or the occasional birthday party with ice cream and cake.

Back then my family used to do a lot of visiting, too. My family was huge (or at least it seemed huge to me). Dozens of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents would get together at family reunions, weddings, barbeques and fish fries. Visiting: talking, joking and just hanging out. Those were the best times, seeing my parents become kids again in the presence of their elders and have fun.

Whether it was with my friends or my huge family, there seemed to always be something going on – something to celebrate, some function to capture with my Polaroid camera.

Nowadays, people don’t seem to do much visiting.

As I grew up, my friends in the neighborhood all moved away to begin their adult lives – off to college, off to get married, to the Navy, Army and Air Force. Scattered like leaves in the breeze.

My family landscape seems to have changed too. The older generation has gotten older or has passed on and the younger generation is not as good at the barbeque, fish fry, family reunion thing.

One could blame it on the 90’s when everyone concentrated on getting ahead, or the events of 2001 which sent people cocooning into their homes. We could also blame it on email, twitter, texting and Skype which seem to have eliminated the need for actual face to face contact.

But Skype doesn’t let you hug that friend you haven’t seen in ages. You can XoXo until thumbs are purple but texting doesn’t let you kiss the forehead of your brother’s new baby. Email messages are not the same as sitting in someone’s kitchen as they share a joke, or tell you their news. It’s just not the same.

Facebook, however, has promise. You can find those long lost friends and poke that relative who’s been quiet for so long, or post your address and an invitation to your next barbeque. Try it for yourself and rediscover the lost art of visiting. XOXO.

Define Your Own Success

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:28:00 +0000

When you first started out in your career, you probably said something like: I want to make Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker by the time I’m 25/35/45. So you worked like crazy, completely focused on learning your business and mastering your craft, when suddenly you look up and find that you’ve made it. The company promotes you to Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker. Break out the champagne, or maybe its Miller time but go ahead and enjoy your accomplishment, you’ve certainly earned it. Congrats! Woohoo!

Eventually the buzz passes and its time to settle into the new gig, learn the ropes and do the work. What may surprise you is that its not as great as you thought it would be. How did that happen? Its kind of like the buyer’s remorse for new homeowners. You’re looking at the white picket fence and thinking its worth the price but once you fork over all your cash and sign your name to a tremendous pile of legal documents, you’re faced with the reality of those big payments for 30 years!

The same principle could apply to your Partner/Vice President/Sargeant/Broker goal. You spent so much time focused on getting there, that you never stopped to think about what actually happens when you get there? The view from the top of your mountain may look very different than what you had envisioned. Its too late to turn back once you get there, but there are important clues on the journey to the top if we just slow down and notice the signs.

What do you do? What if you love the nitty gritty task management and being involved in the day to day. At your level, that’s par for the course, but one or two levels above may not be as involved. Would you be happy sitting in meetings day after day talking through big picture strategy and long term planning? Or would you long for the days when you could cross things off your to do list every day? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s important to note as it could lead to major dissatisfaction in the executive suite. Be sure to do your research and talk to people in the position you’re after and ask that “typical day on the job” question. Then plan your direction accordingly.

What about money? Money isn’t everything. Sure, it can solve a heck of a lot of problems and help you sleep a little better a night knowing that the bills are paid, but its really not everything. Let’s compare your local job to a higher paying position in the city. The pay scale for local, around the way jobs may be lower but will the thought of extra dollar signs be enough when you’re headed off to work packed on a train full of grumpy strangers at the crack of dawn? Or how about when your train is delayed and you’re stuck with those same grumpy strangers and you miss your kid’s school concert. Your kids will plow through that extra money before you can blink, but they would always remember your smiling face from the back row of the concert.

What about you? The bills are paid, the lights are on and the fridge is full. You’re able to make it to several school functions and your view is better than it was before your promotion. Itemized on paper, your new job has more pros than cons and it looks perfect. But something is still gnawing at you. Well, looks aren’t everything. Maybe its time to focus on home since you’ve spent so much energy focused on work. It may just be that youre ready for your next challenge. Just be mindful of the signs as you speed off to your next plateau.

The power of a good haircut

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 19:54:00 +0000

It doesn’t matter if you’re a kid or a grown up, a man or a woman, single or married. Nothing beats a good haircut when it comes to lifting your mood or your spirit.

New clothes are nice and new shoes are cool too, but a new haircut can make you stand up straighter, hold your head higher, and make you see things from a new perspective. It’s incredible and it never fails.

When we take our boys for haircuts, it’s the same thing. I am always amazed at the transformation in their posture. For as long as the cut feels new they both make an extra effort to sit up straight, brush their hair and be a little neater with their clothes. A mother’s dream, at least for a day or two.

My sister in law took me for my first haircut. It was in the 80’s and she took me to her stylist for my first cut and style. It was a bi-level bob, a la Salt-N-Pepa and I’ve never stopped thanking her for taking me. Not only do I remember feeling trendy and “fresh” but I remember feeling honored that she cared enough about me to share one of her secrets to looking and feeling good. Days after the cut, it was time to rework the wardrobe to match the new do and the start of my journey into style.

In the 90’s, it happened again. Andrew was the man and TriBeca was the place. He loved doing hair and every time I walked out of his salon, my hair was supermodel stylish. Those were the days.

Today, I have that same feeling. I have a great new cut, an exciting new color and my hair dresser extraordinaire Vikki has inspired me to make some other changes as well. God bless my hairdresser.

If you need me, I’ll be at Macys. 

Set a Goal…. Then Wing it!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 02:16:00 +0000

In talking to a friend last week, I realized something about myself. I’m a goal setter. I rarely make a move without identifying the objective, plotting out the steps and then methodically stepping through each milestone to achieve the goal.

That can be a good thing for most but for me it’s a weakness.

My husband says I overanalyze. First I research. Then I go out and buy a “how to do this” book, read it cover to cover… then think some more…. I ponder… I wonder… I seek advice and counsel from trusted friends… then I think some more. Only problem is there’s no activity – no measurable progress. I move at a snail’s pace, talk about it, obsess about it (this could take years)… THEN I make a move.

Back in the day, I got bored really easily at work. Boredom led me to job-hop in a time when that kind of thing was a no-no. Back then, in the 80’s and early 90’s, when my standards and requirements and expectations were really low I could afford that kind of freedom. Once I got married, had a house, kids (and a cat) my expectations rose higher and my freedom seemed limited.

Eventually I landed in a great job which I thought would cure my job-hopper tendencies. But after a few years I outgrew it and it was time to plot my next step. True to form, I started the research-ponder-wonder scenario and ultimately I made myself miserable. I couldn’t concentrate on work because I was preoccupied with what to do next, and I couldn’t concentrate on what to do next because I knew my work was suffering. Talk about miserable!

It didn’t help that there were people around me who were really happy at work. They were great people who were happy doing the same job for 10-20 years who would be happy to continue for 10-20 more. This was not something I could do…

Then one day while sitting under the dryer at the hairdresser mentally wrestling with what-to-do, what-to-do it occurred to me that I was wasting my time… Then I heard the voice of reason “Just keep swimming”, Dori said. You know Dori... The blue fish in Finding Nemo? (Yes, sometimes its important to listen to the voices of cartoon characters...) But I digress... LOL

Sure, it’s ok to set a goal. Sure, its ok to plan your next steps... just don’t obsess about them. Obsessing, over-analyzing and overthinking just waste time and energy. Too much of this focus on the future and you'll end up missing out on the good times that could be happening in the here and now. If you just keep swimming, you’ll probably end up somewhere better than you even envisioned. Just keep swimming. Work hard, do your best, let your light shine and keep the faith. Trust that there are angels around to do the heavy lifting.

Set a goal…. Then wing it!!

You’re always in my heart. Love Sy.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:18:00 +0000

On a bright sunny day in 2000 my Grandmother Margaret died. She was my friend. I used to call her every couple of weeks and we’d just chat. She lived in Virginia Beach and we didn’t get to visit as often as we liked, so I’d fill her in on what was happening in my life. Grandmother was always happy to hear from me and I could hear the smile in her voice as I rambled on and she prodded me with questions. She had a twinkle in her eye, a great sense of style, a quick wit. She loved basketball and her New York Knicks and me.

After she died, her gold charm bracelet was passed on to me. The bracelet itself is woven with heart links and there are several heart charms. I wear it whenever I need to feel close to her, whenever I don’t think my strength will be enough. One of the charms is engraved with “You’re always in my heart. Love Sy.” Sy, or Simon, was my granddaddy and he bought this charm bracelet for her and inscribed those few words for the love of his life.

While wearing the bracelet recently it occurred to me how incredibly powerful those words are – worth so much more than their weight in gold – so to speak. I can’t find a single birthday card, or letter from either of them and I don’t have anything they’ve written… Just this charm and the words – You’re always in my heart….

They are a symbol of the love my grandparents shared and a reminder of the love they had for me. Those words have power. Our words have power, too. The power to pass on your love and your legacy to those you love even when you’re not there to say the words yourself.

I borrowed my friend’s book, The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch. Randy was that brilliant and courageous college professor who died of pancreatic cancer. In chapter 14 Randy describes the instructions he left for his niece and nephew and how they should look after his kids after he’s gone. That thoughtfulness is his legacy and I am awestruck that his kids can pick up that book any day, anytime to hear how much he loved them – in Randy’s own words.

I wish I could have one more day with Grandmother Margaret, Aunt Naomi and Grandma Sophie … Thoughts occur to me and I pretend they were divinely transmitted from somewhere in heaven. I look at my kids and smile when I think of how much my grandparents would love them. I “hmph” and “mmm-mmm-mmmm” as I’ve heard throughout my life and wish I could hear again.

After I’ve gone my children and grandchildren may feel the same way about me. They may long to hear my voice and they may wish to know what I thought and how I thought and to confirm how much I loved them. That’s why I write -- so that when I’m gone I will leave a legacy of love. I write and with each word I release a little more of my heart. I'm convinced that as long as we share the love of our deepest heart, what will come back is the deepest love.

Just as Granddaddy said, “you’re always in my heart.” Love, M.

What would you do if you were laid off tomorrow?

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:55:00 +0000

What would I do if I were laid off tomorrow? I’ve been there enough times that I can at least partially answer that question:
1. First, you make the call to your significant other.
2. Second, you box up all your stuff and go home; cursing or crying.
3. Third, you do the math and estimate your future bills vs. expenses. (This is where the panic starts …)

What’s next? Usually it’s the traditional action plan: sign up for unemployment, put that old blue suit in the cleaners, and start making calls to line up a job just like the one that laid you off. Keep in mind that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If you are in the fortunate position to be employed today then take a moment now to stop and count your blessings. When you’re done, I challenge you to think for a moment… What would you do if you were laid off tomorrow? You will probably say 'I’ll follow the tried and true “blue suit” method'. But then the right side of your brain should be allowed to speak up, think creatively and fantasize about other possibilities. For example, I often fantasize about reaching out to Oprah and pitching her ideas for a new show. Or I’ll mentally outline the book I’d love to publish, or the makeover service I’d love to start. But usually that’s where it ends.

If I challenge myself a little further and think these ideas through, I could probably make one or all of them work. Take the pitching Oprah idea…. Write out a summary of my show idea, go to Oprah’s website, find an email address or producer contact and take it from there. See? Not so scary… totally doable. In my case, those ideas usually remain a fantasy, and then I get laid off and follow the blue suit method.

Wouldn’t it be great to think out of the box for a change? Look at American Idol, or The Apprentice, or even Joan Rivers’ new show, How’d You Get So Rich? … Joan recently interviewed the inventor of the Wee-wee Pad, Allen Simon, who is now a millionaire a hundred times over. What about Oprah? She’s a great example of the success that comes from hard work and out of the box thinking. The world is full of people who have followed their ideas to success and happiness. Why not you and me?

So today I am challenging you to let your right brain do the talking for a change. Be creative! Dust off those crazy fantasies and really think them through. Sit down with a crayon and a big sketch pad and design your next life. Do the research, write your notes, write your business plan, call someone in your network and talk to them about it and then keep adding to it. Do it now – whether you’re working or not. Outline how you would make those fantasies credible and real. Keep those thoughts in the forefront of your mind and if conditions arise you won't have too far to reach.

Hopefully, you won’t be laid off tomorrow (or ever), but please keep this in mind: If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, then wouldn’t it be crazy to keep turning to that old blue suit?

By the way, Oprah really is looking for new talent and show ideas: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html

Think Big!! :-)

What the world needs now is more hotel rooms.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Sun, 16 May 2010 12:54:00 +0000

Hotel rooms are always neat and clean – vacuumed, dusted, and shiny. The bed is always made. The linens are always fresh. With or without an ocean view they are almost always welcoming and calm.

As much as I try to recreate that serenity at home, somehow our bedroom falls short. Ever-present in our room is a basket of laundry waiting to be folded. You can usually find a tower or two of books that we want to read but haven’t found the time. The kids like to leave little notes on our mirror: Need lunch money, please sign permission slip, can’t find my sneakers… A couple of file folders from work and sheets of electrical plans usually complete my bedroom's decor. Not exactly the picture of serenity.

So by contrast, of course a hotel room is serene and simple - it's meant to be simple. The hotel room is meant to provide you with a temporary resting place as you continue on your journey. You can’t grow attached to it because it’s temporary. It’s always clean because you are not meant to stay. It’s a respite from home, a place to escape your life for a brief interval. It is plain vanilla and you only get out of it what you put into it.

Compare that to your room at home and there you’ll find the key: it's home. It’s yours, it’s where you build your memories, and where you’re surrounded by the things that mean the most to you. It may not be perfect. Maybe it needs a fresh coat of paint and you should probably fold the laundry once in a while, but still you should appreciate it for what it is: Its home.

That’s not to say that hotel rooms have no value or that you shouldn’t enjoy a little plain vanilla once in a while. Exactly the opposite: You need a little plain vanilla sometimes to help you appreciate real home cooked flavor.

The Gift of Peace...

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Sun, 09 May 2010 01:49:00 +0000

How many times have I suggested the importance of taking "me time" and meditative moments? Well here’s a confession… I haven’t taken my own advice.

I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a student, a writer, an executive and a friend to all except myself. I’ve made time to take care of everyone but me. Meditate? Remember my spirit? Nope. I’ve let housework, Mommy-work and work-work get in the way of making myself happy. I’ve neglected to do the things that keep me growing and keep me sane. But I suppose even recognizing that truth means I’m still growing and learning.

Even so... there’s a reason why the flight attendant always says “in the event of an emergency take care of yourself first and then tend to your child”. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t have the strength to tend to anything or anyone else. Ain’t that the truth. You’ll find yourself stretched to the limit, jumpy, irritable and generally miserable. That was me. Is that you, too? I hope not. But if that is your situation, then I hope you can do something about it before its too late. Or maybe someone you love will do something to help you find your way back.

Fortunately, I have someone in my life who loves me like that. For my Mother’s Day gift, he sent me off to check into a hotel room... just for me... to relax – by myself. Nice, huh?

It can’t take the place of those pancakes lovingly served to me in bed by my three beautiful children, or the flowers, perfume or jewelry delivered with a kiss from my sweet loving husband. No, but this gift restores my spirit in a way I didn’t know I needed. So as I sit here, in a great hotel room with room service, a glass of wine and sole control over the remote, I am happily writing this blog. I am grateful for my husband, grateful for my kids, and grateful for the gift of peace -- peace of mind. Happy Mother’s Day.

Back to School!!

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:47:00 +0000

So, you want to go back to school but visions of Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School keep scaring you away. Don’t let that stop you! You’re never too old to learn and if you’re looking to make the next step in your career or change direction altogether, going back to school may be your best first step. Besides, going back to school as an adult comes with surprising advantages that will make the experience cooler than you’d imagine.

Take me, for instance. I was officially forty-something when I decided to go back to school. After I submitted my application to State University of New York’s Empire State College, a wave of what-have-I-done panic came over me. I had already determined that I would major in writing… you know, follow the road not taken so no surprise there. But what completely knocked me off my feet was the idea that going back to college as an adult has the distinct advantage of 20-20 hindsight vision.

Think about it…. For many 18 year olds heading off to college, it’s a continuation of high school, with no real world context and no real world wisdom…. How many times have you said, “If I knew then what I know now…” Well, put that wisdom to its best use and go back to school. What better perspective than that of someone who has real world experience, managing a career, or raising a family, or managing a household. Adult learners already know which classes the real world will find the most valuable.

An even better realization came to me as started putting my degree plan together. I have a second chance to go back to the fork in the road and travel the road not taken, knowing that I can handle whatever that road brings. My younger self may not have been so appreciative of this opportunity, but my 40+ year old self is not willing to waste any more time. I’m jumping in knowing it’s a privilege to have the option and it’s a blessing to be able to act on it.

Remember – Flexibility is key. Whether you’re going for undergrad, graduate studies, a certificate or just continuing education, there are tons of possibilities out there!

Where to go?
How about Cybercollege? I have a husband, kids, a career, and zero extra time for sitting in a classroom. What I found out is that the internet and smart phones make the brick and mortar classroom an option, instead of a necessity. Lots of schools offer connection points over the web through discussion boards and campus based intranet settings. It can take a little getting used to as some colleges will require frequent postings and online interaction to simulate classroom discussions, but there’s nothing like going to class in your pajamas. Online colleges like University of Phoenix – http://www.phoenix.edu and Kaplan University – http://www.kaplan.edu come to mind.

Colleges for Adults If you’re beyond the “keg party” days and looking for an environment and structure suited for adults you’re in luck! There are many adult college programs out there with the flexibility to work around your day job, your family and your lifestyle.

To begin your search you can visit www.Collegeboard.com, or check out these great colleges:

SUNY Empire State College (my alma mater) http://www.esc.edu/esconline/online2.nsf/html/isescforyou.html
Adelphi
http://academics.adelphi.edu/universitycollege/index.php
Fordham
http://www.fordham.edu/academics/colleges__graduate_s/undergraduate_colleg/fordham_college_of_l/welcome/
New York University
http://www.scps.nyu.edu/academic-programs/continuing-education/

How to pay for it?
There may not be an easy answer to the money question in today’s economy but don’t give up. With a little ingenuity you discover an affordable solution. Consider your home's equity or your company’s tuition reimbursement program for starters. You may be able to write off some or part of your tuition costs on your tax return. See your tax consultant, or visit the IRS for details: http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=96273,00.html

Scholarships may also be a possibility. Here are two programs that I know of, though both are targeted to women (sorry guys) and are based on age and financial need:
AARP http://www.aarpfoundationwlc.org/content/view/26/1/
Talbots http://www1.talbots.com/online/landing/landingPage.jsp?landingPage=scholarship&_requestid=1722418

For more inclusive grant and scholarship options, visit www.FastWeb.com to start your search.

Find your school and the money will come. :-)

Tell the voice in your head to shut up

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:16:00 +0000

It never fails… Whenever you set your sights on a new opportunity, goal or challenge, there’s a voice in your head happily telling you that you can’t make it. Don’t listen to it.

Those dark moments of self doubt are dream killers of the worst kind. Its the fear in your heart that finds its voice and steers you away from your goals, telling you that whatever you're striving for is unachievable... you can't do it... Are you kidding? Do you know how many have tried it? What were you thinking?

It’s going to take inner strength, strong conviction and your own “self talk” to get you through. Recite positive affirmations, memorize some bible verses, download “Don’t worry be happy” onto your Ipod… Do whatever it takes to fill your head with positive energy, whatever it is that lifts your spirits and keeps you motivated to achieve your dreams. Start talking to yourself and tell the disagreeable bubble-bursting, dream-killing voice in your head to shut up.

The Passion Conspiracy: The evolution of passion at work

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Once upon a time it was all about the job. You went to college to get a good job. You chose your major based, in no small part, on the job you could get after graduation. You drove a bus, learned to type or got your MBA from NYU Stern so that you could get a great job making great money. There was never really any talk of what do you like to do. Oh sure you could say that coloring with crayons made you happy, but there was no feasible way you could make a living at it so you settled for a job instead.

Then suddenly, everyone started talking about passion instead of a job… do what you love and be passionate about your work… passionate about what you do… Even as I counsel my kids on their college choices I’m not asking them what kind of job they want. I am telling them to study what they are interested in. Do what makes you happy. Do what you love and (hopefully) the money will come. Hold on… Where did all that passion come from?

I remember watching Oprah, a few years ago as she interviewed Po Bronson. In his best seller, "What Should I Do with My Life?" he interviewed over 1000 people about how they found their ideal work. The work that fed their soul, the work they were meant to do and the work that makes them happy. I think the evolution of passion at work was right on time, but I don’t know if it was coincidence.

Is it a coincidence that we started this search for passion around the same time as the ever expanding real estate bubble loomed large overhead? I think not. How about real estate…. We can’t count on those golden nest eggs of home equity anymore…. A fortunate few may have gotten in on reverse mortgages while real estate prices held steady. But many current retirees got caught in the real estate bubble burst and are now holding upside down mortgages instead of sitting pretty on their home equity nest eggs. Without that safety nest, you may need to work longer, and if you’re going to work longer, I sure hope you love what you do.

Today’s dot.com Gen Y workers are not the work-40-years-for-the-same-company-and-retire-happily-and-comfortably-with-a-pension types… Most of today’s workers will not see the cushy and comfortable pension funded golden years as some of the baby boomers and other previous generations. One would be hard pressed to find a company these days that even offers a pension. With social security is breathing its last breath and many of us funding our own retirements with 401k’s and IRA’s, our golden years are getting further and further out of reach. A few years back 55 was retiring early, but realistically, 70 may be the new threshold. Work, work, work.

This all comes at a time when 40 is the new 30. Most of us are trying to extend our lives, living healthier to live longer. 30 minutes a day of cardio, cholesterol free organic heart smart dieting are buzz words from our new healthy life mantra. The Center for Disease Control has set the mark at 77 for the average US life expectancy. That means that we’ll probably have to work longer to support our longer healthier lives. All the more reason to love your work…. You’re going to be doing it for much longer than you thought!

So, let’s revisit the notion of passion at work. I maintain that the evolution of the idea is no coincidence, but rather an idea born out of necessity. The bad news is that financial factors may dictate that we work way past 55. The good news is that if we keep striving to live healthier, we’ll be healthy enough to keep working as long as we need to. The silver lining? If we choose our work wisely, and work at what makes us happy, our passions will keep us smiling. That’s not a conspiracy, that’s just good timing.

I Believe in Faith

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Faith is that little voice. The ‘yes, we can’ mantra of the Obama presidential campaign that used to ring in my head which is now fading and becoming harder to hear. Like a parade which is passing me by.

Faith is the belief that you’re going to be ok no matter what happens, no matter where you end up, no matter what not-so-great ideas that you act on—faith is the belief that it’s going to be alright. I had that kind of faith when I was younger. I look back on decisions I made and paths that were probably best not taken and I shudder with incredulity. Hindsight may be 20/20 but I’d give anything for an ounce of the faith that I had back then.

Faith is falling asleep on the #3 train at 4 in the morning travelling home to Brooklyn from a night of clubbing. I fully expected that we’d make it home safely, there simply was no doubt. Faith is quitting my job about a month before Christmas yet knowing that I would have a new job in time to buy presents. No brainer. Faith is trying to buy a house with one month on a new job. It’s hearing the words, “there’s a problem with the baby’s heartbeat” and trusting that I would survive. What happened to that faith? What happened? Did I lose my nerve or my strength, or did I lose my faith?

My life has taken many detours, sharp hairpin turns, a few miles in reverse and into full speed ahead: find true love, get married, start a family, make a home, build a career. Now, I find myself coasting in neutral and even at this slow speed my foot still hovers over the brake ready to screech to a stop at each intersection. I am cautious with my life’s choices and decisions now. Perhaps rightfully so. I don’t want to do anything that would upset the beautiful life I find myself living. My marriage, my children, my family, my home, my career – this is my life and I must protect it at all costs. I am cautious about what I expose my children to for fear that something will cause them harm. I am cautious of the people I let into my life, afraid of finding out that they do not have my best interests at heart. I am cautious about career decisions as they may ultimately undermine my ability to provide for my family. These are not the thoughts of the faithful. No. These are the thoughts of the fearful. Here’s the thing about living in fear, it leaves no room for faith.

I heard myself talking to a friend a few weeks ago as she explained why she would not let this great guy into her life. I heard my own fear in her words and understood instantly where she was coming from. I understood how she’d shut down the most vulnerable parts of herself to protect her heart from hurt, just as I had shut out certain people and circumstances to protect my life. I heard myself explaining to her how she needed to let go and let her faith guide her. The words just kind of jumbled out pleading with her to live her whole life, not just the parts that looked safe. I listened to myself as I told her let down her guard and let God guard her.

I distinctly recall being in that crowded restaurant, and not caring who heard my near evangelical soliloquy. I remember the light that seemed to fill my heart as I encouraged her to take a leap of faith and trust that God would be with her always – no matter what. I told her that living in fear left no room for God to take care of her and this I believe is true. Living in fear leaves no room for God. But the belief that God will take care of you, provide for you, and protect you, that is faith.

My own cup is half empty of that kind of faith, but every now and then the ‘yes, we can’ chanting becomes a little louder. Some days I can barely hear it, but it’s always there in my heart. These days it grows louder, like the distant sound of a parade marching in my direction.

I am the Cow

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:28:00 +0000

Remember the movie “Twister” about the storm chasers? I love the part when they were on the bridge with the storm swirling around them and the cow kept flying by. Well, these days I can identify with the cow.

Most of the time I feel as though I’m in the middle of a twister, with things swirling around me and moving so fast that nothing makes sense. So I wait for the calm in the middle of the storm where there is light and clarity. Like near the end of the movie when they look up into the eye of the storm and the sky is blue and clear. The problem is that those calm, clear moments don’t happen often enough.

Life happens, time marches on and while we have to keep it moving, there is much to be said for taking control – if only for a moment – to find one’s own clarity. Taking time the time to think, to "chill and just be" is a necessity. I’ve read many books about finding happiness in life – anyone who really knows me has witnessed my self-help library :-). The good ones all start with the same founding principle: in the quiet you will find your direction. Some call it meditation, some call it prayer, some even call it retail therapy, but in truth and in fact, it’s how we can create the calm in our storms of our lives, and recharge our batteries to go on. It’s a necessity.

Do yourself a favor, get out your calendar – paper or blackberry – and schedule 10 minutes of “me time”.

It’s the other 16 hours that count.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:31:00 +0000

“I’m grateful to have a job in this economy, but…” is a very common refrain of late and in this economy following your passion is easier said than done. That is understandable, but don’t give up on your dreams just because you spend 8 hours a day doing something you really don’t like. Remember the other 16 hours!!!!

In a recent episode of Dr. Phil, there was a session with a woman who had been laid off. She’s married and I think she had kids, but her life, her identity and her happiness were wrapped up in that job. I mean, she was on the show to talk about her marriage problems, but it was clear that her life was her title. That’s pretty much all she talked about, even with her husband present. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her career, and the lights went out when she talked about her marriage. I couldn’t help but infer that had she put a fraction of the energy she had for work into working on her husband, she might not be so lost now or so alone.

Not only is that a sad reality because she’s one of the millions of unemployed Americans, but she’s also a great mirror to hold up to your own self image. If you are at work 8 hours and spending the other 16 ruminating over the day’s events, rehashing shoulda, coulda, wouldas, before you fall into a restless sleep…. If you spend Friday night recovering from work and all day Sunday dreading Monday. It’s time to get a life.

Seriously. Not until recently did I realize how much energy I've been giving away to my 9-5, for free! So I'm changing direction, and looking for ways to expand my thinking and pour more energy into the rest of me.

If it's not too late for me, then it's not too late for you. My advice? Spend some time building yourself up, spend time with your family – not distracted time, but wholly “in the moment” time, go to the gym after work, meditate, pray, write a book, take a class, take a walk. Do something that keeps you in touch with your authentic self – the “you” that you have to live with, even when you’re not at work.

noreply@blogger.com (Michelle Somers) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:12:00 +0000

NEW Webcast! A Possible Cure for EDD (Employee Discontent Disorder)
4 Real Women Talk

In a webcast moderated by Norka Blackman-Richards, President and Founder of 4 Re a l Women International, Michelle Somers and Brenda Jones will discuss finding personal passion and purpose as a possible cure for EDD (Employee Discontent Disorder). EDD is an epidemic that is troubling many Americans in the workplace today, in particular women. Are you experiencing boredom? Feeling listless? Tired of the same routines? Lost your passion for work? You just might be suffering from EDD.