Kathy's Journal: Weight Loss and Weird Stuff

Freedom

2013-06-14T10:55:00.001-04:00

I've realized after some intense thought that, like many human souls, the one thing I really want is freedom. Freedom to be who I want to be and do what I want to do. I want to be the person I was before I was five years old—the person who didn't care what others thought of me. The person who did what she wanted to do.

I can remember being called a care-free child. People admired me for it. But then I went to school and quickly learned that the world wasn't such an accepting place. It doesn't want care-free kids running around freely expressing themselves. It wants to judge you and make you feel bad about being a care free kid.

But now in my old age, or older age anyway, I realize that the world was—and is—wrong. Care-free kids should be celebrated. We should be free to be who we are—not judged and punished for it. And I'm talking about being creative and childlike. So if you're going to comment on this post, comment under those terms. Please don't leave comments like—"Well, what about people who are serial killers? Should they be free to do what they want?" If you do comment like that, you're just proving my point. So don't be a judgmental, faultfinding, know-it-all snipe. Anyway, now I've wandered off of my original point.

Freedom. Freedom to be who you are. And that's what I want. Freedom. And now I'm thinking that publishing this will only cause others to judge me. Do I care? Maybe not. But I probably do.

It's fearful thing for me—as it is for most everyone. Judgment. School bullies, douche bag bosses, "so called" friends, relationship liars, and the list goes on of people who make you realize that humanity sets up its own "love thy neighbor" rules.

But I don't want to get bogged down in the pity process. My point is that I want the ability to be free. I want to be free to be me and do what I want. I want to be free from my own worries. I want freedom damn it. And so should you.

Nursing a Broken Foot

2013-06-13T13:01:00.003-04:00

Yeah it's been a while since I blogged about anything. I was hoping to have some good news before I posted. But I've been nursing a broken foot since April 30. It's getting better, but not as quickly as I'd like. It's a Jones Fracture. And that means it's in a difficult spot for healing. Some days it feels OK. Other days, it's stiff and painful.

But anyway, that's why I've been away. I'm s-l-o-o-o-w-w-l-l-y recovering. And I'll be back soon.

Laura Gets Fit: Letting Go

2013-05-23T08:58:00.001-04:00

This is an excellent post. It reminds of myself. I have similar ex out there—one that I always wondered "what if?" And I know that if I ever did get in touch with him, like Laura, I'd quickly remember why we broke up.

Laura Gets Fit: Letting Go: Sometimes it's difficult to let go of the past. Have you ever had a relationship that ended and then years went by and you remember n...

What does your breath have to do with being obese?

2013-03-26T08:21:00.002-04:00

This article on Science discusses how a person's breath may indicate his or her susceptibility to obesity.

The breath test measures hydrogen and methane, and found that higher concentrations of both correlated with higher body mass index and percentage of body fat. Researchers believe that these results point to digestive issues that make people more likely to retain the calories they consume.

Interesting stuff.

Exercise Going Great; Food Journaling Still Suffering

2013-03-07T14:20:00.001-05:00

60 minutes yesterday and 60 minutes today. I'm on a roll.

I've just gotta start seriously tracking my food.

At the Gym Again

2013-03-04T22:31:00.001-05:00

I did 50 minutes at the gym today. Yea me.

And Even More Exercise

2013-02-28T13:26:00.001-05:00

Did 45 minutes of a walking DVD at lunchtime. Yea me.

More Gym Time

2013-02-28T08:55:00.001-05:00

45 minutes at the gym last night—which for some reason made me far more sweaty than 40 minutes. Go figure.

Lots of Exercise Today

2013-02-26T22:02:00.002-05:00

Did 45 minutes of walking DVD and 40 minutes at the gym. That's 85 minutes of exercise today.

The wind is blowing like crazy here. My wind chimes are really making music today. Well, I mean the wind chimes hanging on my house. I imgaine you could take that a couple of ways. Anyway, moving right along. . . .

Today has been productive.

Feeling Pretty Good

2013-02-21T13:46:00.001-05:00

OK. So I didn't make it to the gym last night, but I did do 40–45 minutes today of a Leslie Sansone DVD at lunch with a couple of colleagues. I feel better.

Getting Started

2013-02-20T09:55:00.001-05:00

I made it to the gym last night for a brief workout. I only did about 30 minutes. I will do about 30 tonight as well. I have to start somewhere.

I Joined a Gym

2013-02-19T08:54:00.001-05:00

I joined a gym yesterday. It's a local gym, so it doesn't advertise nationally, and likely you've never heard of it unless you live around Morgantown, WV. Then you may know. Anyway, it's Lakeview Fitness Center. So I did a small workout yesterday, and will do a small workout today. I want to build up to working out again. Anytime I try to go at whole hog—so to speak—I end up too sore to continue. And then I just burn out. Money and time wasted.

I got a really bad ear infection last week so I didn't keep up with the chia seeds. In fact, last week was probably one of the worst weeks of my life. I'm feeling better this week. But it's been all up hill.

I'm starting a lunchtime walking program with some colleagues today. I'll keep you up-to-date with how that goes.

Oh let me back up a minute. Lakeview also has a diet program. It's not very expensive and looks like it's something I could benefit from. I think it's a 10-week program. It consists of weekly weigh-ins, meetings, food journaling, etc. This is something I really need. So I'll be signing up for that ASAP.

Anyway, that's about it on the diet and exercise front. I'll share more when I have more to share.

Cha-cha-cha chia

2013-02-06T13:13:00.001-05:00

I'm trying chia seeds. I'll let you know how it goes.

I found some at Vitamin World—although you get them at Walmart. But I would have to order them, and I have no patience. So I bought some today.

So far they're kind of crunchy. I put them in water and drank them. I do feel full. I tried to eat my Subway sandwich, but I filled up quickly. I'll let you know how long this effect lasts.

In case you haven't heard, chia seeds are supposed to be great for weight loss. Not only do they contain large amounts of omega-3 fatty acids, they can absorb 12 times their weight in water, forming a gelatin.

According to Living Foods, "If you try missing a spoonful of Chia in a glass of water and leaving it for approximately 30 minutes or so, when you return the glass will appear to contain not seeds or water, but an almost solid gelatin. This gel-forming reaction is due to the soluble fiber in the Chia. Research believe this same gel-forming phenomenon takes place in the stomach when food containing these gummy fibers, known as mucilages, are eaten. The gel that is formed in the stomach creates a physical barrier between carbohydrates and the digestive enzymes that break them down, thus slowing the conversion of carbohydrates into sugar.

"In addition to the obvious benefits for diabetics, this slowing in the conversion of carbohydrates into sugar offers the ability for creating endurance. Carbohydrates are the fuel for energy in our bodies. Prolonging their conversion into sugar stabilizes metabolic changes, diminishing the surges of highs and lows creating a longer duration in their fueling effects."

So I'm giving it a shot. If you try it, I'd love to know how it works for you.

Extreme Eating

2013-01-28T11:47:00.004-05:00

Restaurant Confidential just released its Xtreme Eating 2013 guide. All I can say wow. I had no idea.

Johnny Rockets boasts a burger meal that comes with sides that total more calories than three—that's right three—Quarter Pounders with cheese. IHOP's Country Fried Steak and Eggs has 1,760 calories—or as the guide notes a value that's the same as five McDonald's Egg Muffins sprinkled with 10 packets of sugar. But before this begins to sound like a commercial for the golden arches, don't forget that an Angus Beef Bacon and Cheese burger has 790 calories.

Anyway, I'm always shocked not just by what but the amount we eat. Is it a wonder that we got this fat?

Just Wondering

2013-01-24T10:52:00.000-05:00

If you do one minute of exercise 30 times a day, does it count as 30 minutes of exercise?

Hope

2013-01-23T13:48:00.000-05:00

Here's to great hopes for this year. I found out a program that I wished would be offered to those who failed the first time is going to happen. Who knew wishes could really come true? Probably anyone whose wish has come true—it just rarely happens to me. So woohoo.

How Do You Get Beyond Failure Psychology?

2013-01-14T11:36:00.001-05:00

What if before you even started a new weight loss program, you knew you were going to fail? And maybe even set yourself up to fail? I do this all the time. Every time I start a new program, it's in the back of mind that I'm never going to make it. Why do I do this? I know I'm not the only one.

I'm struggling with this psychology—the wanting to fail or knowing that I'm going to fail. How do I break this cycle? Any why do I think, "I'm just going to fail anyway"? Does anyone have the answer to this kind of thinking? Have you found out why you think this way and how to get beyond it? I'd love to know.

Thankful Thursday

2013-01-10T10:27:00.001-05:00

I Am More Than a Set of Lab Numbers

2013-01-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

January is Thyroid Awareness Month. In other words, this is a time to connect with your thyroid—to make sure it's functioning properly. How I wish I didn't have thyroid disease. But I do. I have maintain a relationship with a good doctor. But I fear my luck has run out.

I recently had to find a new doctor. Well, I still haven't found a new doctor. I did go to one doctor who ran some thyroid tests—then called me to tell me my TSH was too high and wanted to cut my thyroid medication in half. What? She said that on the TSH scale, mine needed to be closer to 3. What? Right now, it's .01. But my previous doctor understood that when your thyroid doesn't work at all, you need to be properly treated. To doctors who don't get it, your blood work will show that you are over treated—despite how you feel and that your don't have any symptoms of the disease—like you have hair and fingernails.

Here's my problem, I've was first diagnosed with thyroid disease for more than 20 years ago. I've been through all the testing and opinions about TSH ranges. At one time, I went to a doctor who lived and died by the TSH scale. If you were within it, you were just fine. But I wasn't. I was miserable. I was sick all the time. I caught every cold or virus going around. My hair was so thin you could see my scalp. My fingernails were split and cracked. My eyes were dry. I had a goiter. And the list goes on. Well, here's a a wake up for all doctors who think that a TSH scale is the Gold Standard—THERE IS NOTHING FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.

According to Mary Shomon guide author for Thyroid.About.com, "As of February 2010, at most laboratories in the U.S., the official 'normal' reference range for the Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) blood test runs from approximately .5 to 4.5/5.0.

"Reference range is a critical component, and the validity of the entire TSH test as diagnostic tool depends on it. TSH reference range is what determines—for the vast majority of physicians, who rely on blood tests almost exclusively—whether or not thyroid disease is even diagnosed at all, much less treated, and when diagnosed, how it is treated.

"A reference range is obtained by taking a large group of people in the population, measuring their TSH levels, and calculating a mean value. Supposedly, these people should be free of thyroid disease. What experts are now coming to understand, however, is that the upper range in the TSH normal reference range has included people who actually have mild or developing thyroid disease, and their higher TSH levels skewed the standard curve."

Wow. What this is saying is that to the vast majority of doctors, you are a set of numbers that are either normal or abnormal. Your symptoms bear little relevance as to whether you are diagnosed or not. So if your hair is falling out, your skin is dry, your fingernails are splitting, your weight is out of control, you're infertile, your periods are out of whack, you're bloated, you have a goiter, or any other number of of symptoms, your won't be diagnosed with thyroid disease as long as your numbers fall within the predetermined range. Believe me, I've faced this for two decades.

About 12 years ago, I finally found a doctor who knew how to treat thyroid disease. At that time, I also found out that there's more than one drug to treat thyroid disease, too. I had been led to believe that Synthriod was the one and only drug to treat my condition. Not only did other drugs, but other drugs that were better existed. Case in point—Armour Thyroid and Levoxyl. The two drugs that saved my life. Once I started taking them, my life changed. I was able to lose weight. My hair grew back. My fingernails no longer spilt and cracked. Although fertility never did come, I finally understood why it was a problem. Also, I remember how excited I was when my hair finally growing back. But my life of health and bliss was not to last.

What happened? My doctor left her practice to go to work with the Veterans Hospital in Uniontown, PA. Yes, I'm happy for the veterans who need her. But my own selfish needs are blocking my happiness. I need a doctor who listens and understands that thyroid patients are not just a set of numbers. I'm sad that the doctor I visited recently is one those who will allow the pharmaceutical companies to rule her "opinion."

On my first visit, her PA started in telling me that Armour wasn't stable, etc., etc. And how Synthroid was the standard for thyroid disease. She said that Armour was impure and old fashioned. She also said that no one really prescribes it anymore, and she was shocked that it had been given to me. She said that Synthroid was a new drug that was much more reliable. And it's here I had to stop her.

Synthroid is not a new drug. In fact, it's been around since 1930 and was grandfathered into FDA standards. And that the makers of Synthroid were involved in a class action lawsuit brought about because of a study done by Betty J. Dong, PharmD; et. al and published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), entitled "Bioequivalence of Generic and Brand-name Levothyroxine Products in the Treatment of Hypothyroidism. " And that research along with several news articles resulted in Synthroid having to be reformulated to address potency issues. That happened between 1982 and 1997.

Also, it is a fact the FDA regulates Armour, and that Armour is in fact as stable or perhaps even more so than Synthroid. Armour has never been called into question by the FDA.

Also, it is a fact that the makers of Synthroid finance research that supposedly illustrates how much better their drug is than other drugs. And they finance conferences, golf outings, vacations, and other perks for the doctors who prescribe their drug over others. I could go on and on. But I feel I am rambling.

My point is: Think for yourself. If you have thyroid disease, or know someone who does, research treatments and symptoms yourself. Don't allow your health to be compromised by uninformed doctors who only parrot what pharmaceutical companies want them to say. Pay attention to your health for your own sake. And keep searching for a doctor who listens and understands how to treat thyroid disease. You are more than just a set of lab numbers. Take care of yourself.

It Wasn't a Complete Waste of Time

2013-01-08T11:17:00.003-05:00

Money down the drain.

While the trip to the nutritionist wasn't a complete bust, but it certainly wasn't what I wanted it to be. She spent most of the session talking about how I should stay away from fat. She spent very little time helping me come up with a meal plan—she did at the very end only because I insisted. I couldn't stay as long as she could talk. Let me explain that. She was one of those kind of people who like to hear themselves regaling others with their knowledge. Ugh. I can't say it was a complete waste of time, but it was close. It's a shame it was a waste of money.

So what I did was come up with my own meal plan that I found in the latest Woman's World. That's right. I found a meal plan in a $2 magazine. When will I learn that most of things I think I need are right in my own backyard. Thank you Dorothy.

The plan is based on Chris Powell's carb cycling plan and the Shedder plan by Dr. Ian Smith. Thus far, it's going OK. But it's only been three days. I did lose four pounds of the weight I gained over the past year. The carb days aren't so bad. The low carb days are hard—and I've only had one. Yesterday. I peed all day yesterday. I guess that's where the four pounds went. So that's going to be my healthy solution.

My doctor called me today and told me that I must've past a kidney stone recently. I figured something was up when I had flank pain, cloudy, painful urination, and a fever. I thought I had a bladder infection. But it couldn't be that simple, huh? Ahh, well.

Anyway, the thing is, I making it on my own. And doing well.

And I Begin Again

2013-01-02T10:20:00.001-05:00

Talking to a dietitian will make me accountable to someone.

Tomorrow I'm going to a nutritionist. I was supposed to go last week, but cancelled because I thought my insurance wasn't going to pay for it. But then I found they were. So, I'm going this week. I've been keeping a food journal over the past week.

Has it been enlightening? Well, not really. I already knew most of my habits. But I guess the info will help in deciding how I'm going to approach my weight loss goals.

What I'm really looking for is accountability. If I'm accountable to someone besides myself, I have more success. I don't have much confidence in myself. Maybe it's because I've spent so many years not liking myself. Whatever the reason, it works better when someone else is calling the shots.

But on the note, I have spent a lot time thinking I have no control over my own life—and that is going to change this year. The messes that I'm in are there because I created them. The poor diet, lack of exercise, and obesity are of my own doing. Ok, I do have thyroid disease, and that accounts for a slow metabolism. But it doesn't account for how I've let myself go.

I look old and tired. Yes, I'm 54. But here's the thing. I'm not 64. And that's how I feel. Some days, I feel 74, 84, and, well, even dead. Although I'm not sure how you could feel dead. I don't think that would have much feeling. But I digress.

I know I can lose weight with a lot of hard work. Yes, I said hard work. Why does it have to be so hard? Why does anything have to be hard? I think the answer is that if everything were easy, with little or not challenge, then what would be the use of doing it? Having said that, I also know what will happen if I don't put in the hard work. (See Randy Glasbergen cartoon to the right.)

So, I guess, if you want to, you may join me in another effort to make my life into what it should be. So here I go. Taking this leap of faith—and least one more that I will be detailing soon. That's right, this isn't the leap of faith that I discussed earlier. However, this one is necessary to make other one even possible. Stay tuned.

Happy New Year

2012-12-31T17:20:00.003-05:00

May you have blessed 2013.

A Leap of Faith

2012-12-27T11:25:00.002-05:00

I'm ready to take a real leap of faith. You know when something just feels right--and that it's time to act on it. I will be acting on something that's very important to me.

More to come.

Friday's Forecast

2012-12-17T13:11:00.000-05:00

It might be a good idea to get all your ducks in row before Friday.

My Little Dining Area

2012-12-13T16:49:00.003-05:00

Her's the little dining area. It was a lot of work but so worth it in the end.

I made the table topper.

I bought these chairs for $25. I refinished them and upholstered the seats.

Love it.