Important Nothings

Much Beauty in "Beauty and the Beast"

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Sat, 18 Mar 2017 15:51:00 +0000

Of all the talks I'm asked to give, my favorite is "Everything Leads to Jesus." I'll ask my audience to place items in a box without my knowledge, and later, I will pull those items out one at a time and present the Gospel from them. I've found musical instruments, a checkbook, toy robots, and even a rock. However, I've always been successful in bringing the item to my Savior, and I know that I always will be. He wants me to speak His name. He wants me to share His love. He wants me to be intentional in turning everyday conversations to His grace.

When Christians were up in arms over the Harry Potter franchise coming out, I was simply impressed with the number of children wanting to read! I thought, "Good for J. K. Rowling!" On my sister's recommendation, I read the first book and was immediately hooked. Not only did Rowling create heart-felt characters, but she also laid a perfect groundwork for sharing the Gospel. Harry is alive and untouchable by the evil one because of the sacrificial love of his mother. She laid down her life for him. Her blood covered him. All throughout the series, Harry is reminded that it is love that separates him from the bad guy, Voldemort.

Love separates me. The blood of my Savior covers me and makes me untouchable to the evil one. Satan cannot have me because Jesus died for me. He willingly laid down His life for me. The correlation between the Gospel and Harry Potter is evident and easy to use.

Today, Jackson, Chloe and I went to see "Beauty and the Beast." I have read all the outcries that have been written. I have scrolled right past all the "Boycott Disney" posts on Facebook knowing full well that I would be going on opening day. Seriously! Who doesn't absolutely adore a book-loving heroine who will sacrifice herself for her daddy?! I remember the character Lefou as infatuated with Gaston. He did everything for that conceited, prideful, self-absorbed man. Lefou withstood all the bullying and abuse that Gaston threw his way, and stayed for more. Even as a young girl, I thought it was odd behavior for a man. Today, Lefou was exactly the character I remember with a little more gumption added into the mix. At the end of the story, he recognized the "bad" in Gaston and separated himself by helping to save the castle.

While others are calling for a boycott, I'm going to call for less judgment and more love through sharing the Gospel, and there are many ways to use "Beauty and the Beast" to do so. Belle sacrificed herself out of love for her daddy, realized the importance of seeing the real person on the inside over the rough exterior, and understood the impact of words.

John 15:13 says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Belle laid down her life for her father's. She willingly traded places with him in the Beast's cage. She didn't know the Beast's backstory. She didn't know the good that would come from her actions. She only knew that the love she had for her father was too great to allow him to die.

People say, "Actions speak louder than words." However, a former sixth grade student once said, "Actions give volume to our words." I have always loved that interpretation. We can say we love people all we want, but if all people hear and see is judgment and boycotts then our words of love are muted. Let's sacrifice ourselves to share God's love. Let's sacrifice our righteous indignation to embrace opportunities to build His Kingdom. Let's lay down the hatred in order to offer His grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Remember, Jesus shared a meal with a sinner in the home of that sinner. How can we reach the world if we are not willing to befriend the world?

Once Belle sacrificed her life for her father's, she was faced with another choice. Judge the Beast based on his exterior, or take a moment to see beyond. I Samuel 16:7 says, "...man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." Belle was intrigued with stories; she loved books; she loved words. Listening to the Beast's story made him real to her and not just a terrifying monster from which to cower. Belle allowed herself to know the inner beast and found compassion for his pain. Because she was able to see his heart she was able to love him. I am so very thankful that God is able to see my heart, to see my true self and love me in spite of it all.

After sacrificing herself for her father and looking beyond the rough exterior of the Beast, Belle spoke the very words which had the greatest impact in the story. She said, "I love you." She spoke the words we all knew to be true. Her actions throughout the story told us she loved him. She saved him. She nursed him. She laughed with him. She listened to him. She taught him. She learned from him. She returned for him. She fought with him. Her life spoke of love, but it was the power in the spoken words that ended the curse.

Romans 10:14 says, "How can people call on Him unless they believe in Him? How can they believe in Him unless they hear about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them?" Someone has to TELL them. Someone has to use words to express the reasons for their actions. You can live a righteous life and be the best person in the world, but if you never tell anyone why you live as you do no one will ever know Jesus. At some point, someone HAS to open their mouth and speak His name.

I encourage every single one of you to go watch "Beauty and the Beast," and then talk about it with your neighbors, co-workers, facebook friends, and family. Discuss the ridiculous, frivolous boycott. Elaborate on the incredible soundtrack. Gush over the beautiful costumes. In all of the talk though, be sure you turn the conversation to Jesus. Be sure you parallel the plot of Belle and the prince to the greatest story ever told.

Remember, everything leads to Jesus!

Finding Freedom

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 16:49:00 +0000

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us..." Hebrews 12:1

The sin that so easily ensnares... entangles... traps... complicates... perplexes... snarls... tangles... burdens me. The sin that bewilders me. The sin that ruins me and the "us" that my life represents. Even though it isn't the same for everyone, we all have a sin like this. That one thing that continually creeps back into our thoughts and actions. That one sin that captures our attention and makes us believe that it is necessary for whatever reason.

I have one of those sins. It has been a struggle for me since I was a young girl and introduced to a world I shouldn't have known about at that age. Innocence intermingled with imagination, and my world changed. The world inside of me changed while the world around me stayed the same. The struggle, the battle for my mind began, and I guarantee you that my Savior will win! It's getting to that win that leaves scars.

Scars...Jesus' are visible as His body was pierced and ripped open. Mine are invisible as I allow my heart to be shattered by my own choices. Sometimes, mine are also visible as the entrapment of sin affects the ones I love and cherish. I see the ugliness of heartbreak and pain, and I wonder how in the world I let that happen! When I have the power of the Almighty God living inside of me, why would I choose anything else? When I have the tools at my disposal to defeat the enemy who wants to destroy me, why would I not whisper the name of Jesus? One little word with great impact.

Words...powerful, life-changing, inspiring, imaginative words. I love words and their ability to move me and create emotions as they are built upon one another. Not only do words have the magical ability to transport me to another world, they also captivate my attention and lead to an escape and release from stress and even reality. And while I advocate for the use of the most excellent words, my perplexing sin can lead me straight to words that are not consistent with my teaching. They are not consistent with my Savior. My Savior who provides freedom from this burden loves me and calls me to be free.

Freedoms...the blood of Jesus has set me free. I am free from the chains of sin, even the most tiresome, complicated, familiar sin. I am free from the harassment of Satan as he tries to lure me back in and destroy my world. I am free from the heartbreak of disappointment in myself. I am free from humiliation of admitting my addiction to the entanglement. This freedom is sometimes only in knowledge as I search for it everyday.

Everyday I must trust my Savior to guide me to His truth...to Him as He is Truth. Everyday I must rely on Him and His precious name to remain free from the grip of sin and live in the grip of His grace. Everyday I am finding freedom.

Lucky #13

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 17:02:00 +0000

2013! Happy New Year! A new year brings an opportunity to begin again..just like every new day, and every new six weeks in school! It is an opportunity to start something fresh and new; a time to reflect and refocus. The Bible says that "Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5 God points out to us that He has provided moments to choose a new path, a new discovery, a new attitude. So, what will you choose for yourself today? Will you embrace the joy that our Heavenly Father is willingly providing for you? It can be found in Him alone. Choose to be in His Word today and everyday. Choose to meet with Him and gain the wisdom that only He can grant.

Most people view 13 as an unlucky number. Scary movies have been made based on the belief. However, I don't believe in luck. I believe in the power and sovereignty of an almighty God. So, I believe that '13 is going to be a blessed year! Lucky '13 is going to be everything I choose to make it! That's the thing about life...as a person and as a Christian. I get to choose. God allows me the freedom to make my own choices. He has graciously provided His wisdom and instruction that comes with a fabulous set of outcomes with every choice to assist me in my decision making. (Love that!) Another thing He has gifted us with is an incredible book full of stories of other men and women who received the same freedoms. We can learn from their successes and failures.

I Chronicles 13:13 (13th book of the Bible, 13th chapter and 13th verse...in case you were curious!) "He [David] did not take the ark to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite."

In this chapter, David wanted to bring the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. He asked everyone their opinion; they all agreed. So, he set up a big fanfare with a band and parade and everyone came out to celebrate! They were dancing and having a grand time bringing the ark home. However, they were not obeying. God had specifically told them how to transport the ark; David did not pay attention. He did what he wanted to do. The ark began slipping to the ground; one of the men moving the ark reached out to grab it. He died on the spot...just as God said would happen.
As you can imagine, that is the end of that party.

David got mad at God. Crazy, huh? David was displeased that God did exactly as He said He would. David was bothered that God didn't just go along with what he was doing. It was a good thing to bring the ark home. It was a good thing to be celebrating the return of the very presence of God. David was leading a fabulous celebration and everyone was there to witness the occasion. But in the details David was careless and it cost a man his life. In the details David rushed past and was embarrassed. Instead of repenting and seeking forgiveness, he got mad at God and pouted. He stored the ark and didn't follow through on the very thing he committed to do.

He stored the ark in the home of Obed Edom for 3 months. The ark of the covenant...the very presence of God was stored! And the family of Obed-Edom was blessed! Now, that is lucky! (if you believe in that kind of thing!)

Seek God's approval...not man's. Obey completely. Trust the outcome. Do everything without grumbling and complaining. Rest in the blessings that await when you obey.

Momma's Words

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 17:15:00 +0000

A couple of years ago I found a writing contest I wanted to enter. As I begin to pray through and organize my thoughts I decided to use my mom's letters as the foundation for my article. She died after my first semester of college so I only have 3 months of notes and letters but they are full of wisdom and love. I went to the filing cabinet where I kept them, took out the envelope which held them all, and was devastated to discover it held other things. I searched everywhere, but with no luck. You can imagine my heartache as I cried over the loss of her last words to me. One letter in particular included words of wisdom that I cherished. I had her words memorized but seeing them in her handwriting made them a tad more powerful.

Last night I was going through some old things...tossing out what wasn't needed. I came across some cards from dear friends, a thank you letter from a special friend for her 30th birthday party, pictures from college, and a picture with a note from my mom that I kept on my wall during college. Another find was one of mom's letters! And not just one of them...it was the very one that I wanted most dearly! Tears just flowed down my cheeks when I recognized her handwriting on the envelope...my heart stopped in my chest and when I took out the letter and realized it held the dearest words of wisdom. Let's just say, I nearly fell apart!

I read that letter aloud and was so moved by the timeliness of her words for today! It might be 25 years later, but her words are fitting for me now because her wisdom was based on the word of God. His words never change and they are always the answer I need. He is always faithful to me...giving me the very things I desire without even asking for them.

I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing!

Who I Am

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 19:47:00 +0000

I am a girl who grew up with a daddy that told her she was beautiful everyday...he still greets me with a "Hi, beautiful!" (Now, he says that to his wife, my sister, and my daughter, but that's not important right now!) He told me if I ever heard someone whistle to turn and wave because they were whistling at me! I always heard people say I looked just like my mom and I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

I am a girl who always dreamed of being a mom...just like mine! Playing games, riding bikes, going on picnics, playing cards and reading together. I learned to bake cookies just like she did, gave my best effort at learning to sew (didn't take), and took to heart the importance of solid, strong friendships (II Timothy 2:22).

I am a girl who deeply desires to be on the heels of my Savior. I cherish the few years as a teenager when I was blessed to attend First Southern Del City because that is where the passion for journaling my relationship with Christ began. I knew that if God could and would speak personally through His word to the other girls in my small group than He would talk with me.

I am a girl with faith larger than a mustard seed. I believe! I trust! I take people at their word and expect them to follow through. With God I never have, nor will I ever, be disappointed. With people, I have had my heart broken more times than it can bear. And yet, my faith continually puts me in the place of trusting and expecting.

I am a girl that was blessed to become a mom! Many girls do not get to receive the joy and blessing of motherhood and I count it a huge honor to have Jackson, Cameron and Chloe entrusted to my care! I love playing with them, teaching them (Proverbs 22:6), challenging them, and loving them! Watching them grow and mature is humbling as they are surpassing me in so many ways!

I am a girl that has made mistakes. I can pinpoint several times in my life where I ignored the escapes God provided from temptations and yet He saved me from myself. I remember a time when I fully recognized the escape He was offering me and I ignored it completely. (I Corinthians 10:13) I am ever so humbly blessed that He is a forgiving God who overflows with love for me!

I am a girl who is not defined by her past...even her recent one. I am a daughter of the most high King! I am loved and sought after! I am valued and forgiven! (I John 1:9) I am the girl I committed to be on April 24, 1974, when I asked Jesus to be my Savior. I am the girl I confessed to the world in September 1976, when I shouted by example through baptism that I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus (Romans 1:16)!

I am a girl who is resting in the peace lovingly provided through the Holy Spirit as I make decisions to be the best me I can be. (John 14:27) I am a girl who will thrive through the fulfillment of the desires God placed in the depths of my soul. (Proverbs 13:19) He knows me...He created me...He longs for me to be fulfilled and complete.

I am a girl that has found success!

What a Thrill!

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Wed, 23 May 2012 22:35:00 +0000

Getting outside your comfort zone is refreshing and necessary. Necessary to a life committed to laughter and fullness, that is! Today, I stepped out of my comfort zone. I danced...on stage...by myself (for a brief moment)...in front of people...to Michael Jackson's Thriller! I'm posting the video to prove I did it...but it isn't much to see! You can't hear the music because the audience is going wild!! (middle school and high school students after finals! They would cheer for anyone! lol!) I also have no moves! I watched the Thriller video this morning thinking I would learn some dance moves...it didn't work out!

But I had fun and I laughed!! I laughed before I got on stage, while I was on stage, when I was exiting the stage, and even now, I am still laughing! It isn't much...but laughter is everything! What a thrill!

Laughter is where life happens!

Mama Cravings

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Tue, 22 May 2012 14:52:00 +0000

I'm stealing...borrowing (because imitation is the greatest form of flattery! :) )...my title today from a friend's blog (check it out! mamacravings.wordpress.com ). Her title has truly intrigued me because I have some definite cravings. I crave laughter...Coke...chocolate and coconut...quiet time to read...the presence of people I love...and, most definitely, my children!

I remember when I had to go back to work full-time in 2003. It broke my heart to leave my precious little boys at home...even though God had blessed me with a dear friend who loved them thoroughly! (Amy, I will always remember those years you gave me! And I realize it was a gift because you worked for nothing! Thank you!) Those years I prayed for God to honor the mother's heart that He, Himself, had placed in me. He gave me the desire...craving...to be home with them. Yet, life had me working. I cried many tears throughout those days begging for a way to satisfy my craving.

God answered with our precious Chloe! He increased the depth of my heart and fulfilled a craving I didn't even realize I had! I quit my full-time job the day she was born! And, although I have continued working it has been in positions that have allowed me time at home. Just not as much as I crave...

I have missed countless field trips, class parties and being in pickup lines after school. I have missed out on the dream of having fresh out of the oven chocolate chip cookies on the counter when the kids get home from school.

Even right now, I am missing Jackson and Cameron's awards assembly at school. I realize it isn't a big thing...and my sister is there with a camera...but I want to be there. I crave the time to invest in my boys letting them know that I value them and their achievements. Cravings are, at their core, selfish desires...even if they have healthy benefits for others. A craving is something one desires from deep within. Webster says it is an intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing.

I have that longing in several areas of my life, but I pray with my children it isn't abnormal. :) I have an intense desire to be successful in raising Godly children with strong work ethic and commitment to excellence in every area of their life. I have an urgent longing to spend quality time with each of them individually. I crave their love and respect. I crave their attention.

God created me to be a mother and I pray I honor Him with my cravings!

Signs of Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Mon, 21 May 2012 17:22:00 +0000

There are many things that we use to mark the passage of time. We countdown until the last day of school (3...for the record!), celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, and use advent calendars for Christmas. I have many friends posting various things on Facebook about the coming of summer from pictures of the kids walking to the neighborhood pool to getting summer haircuts. For us, in East Texas, summer is welcomed by the opening of snow cone stands! At least one on every corner...seriously not kidding! We take our shaved ice very seriously!

In my neck of the woods, Snow Joes is the place to be in summer! Cameron even braved White Oak Road last summer to ride his bike for a Snow Joes treat! They offer hundreds of flavors and even a variety of sizes...small, medium, large and the Yancey! 32 ounces of shaved ice heaven! It is so named after one of our state champion basketball players!

This past week we visited Snow Joes twice and I feel as if summer is already here! So, while I may still be sitting at my desk at school contemplating the final I still need to write and the ones I am going to be grading, summer is in my heart! Days to relax...sleep in a little more...read a book(or 2 or 3 or 10) for the sheer pleasure of it...laze around at the pool...drive to Lawrence to spend a week with the Jayhawks...and eat snow cones!

Thank you Snow Joes! That "Open" sign spells summer!

Heart on Paper

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Sat, 19 May 2012 20:29:00 +0000

Journaling has been a part of my life since I was a teenager, yet this past year I have stopped writing. I've chalked it up to not having enough time, but we all know that we have time for what is truly important. In a way, I'm glad I haven't documented my thoughts or feelings of the past 16 months. Except to acknowledge that I have journeyed through them with integrity and courage. I still have joy!

Earlier this week I realized something of my mom's was gone...tossed out with the trash. It wasn't a big thing. There was nothing sentimental about it except that it was hers. It was clearly old, banged up and rusted. To anyone else's eyes it was definitely trash. To me, it was precious. I can't describe the hurt I felt when I discovered it had been discarded. I didn't want to hear the apology nor reasons for getting rid of it. I just wanted it back.

I quickly understood that I needed a new perspective on this situation. I was definitely overreacting and needed to get it together. As I sat drying my tears, I begin writing out my frustrations and I was blessed with the realization that my mom's presence was all around me. I actually was curled up in a baby blanket she had crocheted for her best friend's daughter to have for her firstborn (who is now a doctor!). I use mom's silverware everyday. Her cookie making bowls are in my cupboards. Cameron sleeps with an afghan she made me every night. Best of all, her dimples are on Chloe's cheeks and her silliness is in Chloe's spirit.

Putting my heart into words got me back on level ground. It helped take the frustration out of a situation as I expressed my pain. I think I have missed this process and need to get back in the habit. My life is changing...I am changing. Picking up new things that are beneficial to me and leaving behind those things that I don't need any longer. I am still me, but I am stronger than I ever believed. I will continue putting my heart on paper as I become more fully me!

Proud Momma Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 18:45:00 +0000

Our school participates in the Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI) speech meet each year. Last year, Jackson wrote an original speech for the meet and I shared it with all of you. Cameron chose to write his own speech this time around and again, I want to share. It is definitely a proud moment to see your child get up in front of others and speak...especially their own thoughts. Enjoy...

What Basketball Means to Me

In 1891, James Naismith invented the game of basketball. He created it because the kids at the YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts, needed something to do during the winter. The game started out with 13 basic rules and used a soccer ball and a peach basket. Basketball is much different now, but is still fun, fast and a way to share your faith.

Basketball can be fun for everyone. It is enjoyable because you can play with your friends and make new friends. You can even join a team and compete against others. When your team wins a lot of games you can go to tournaments and see how far you can make it.

In basketball, you need to be fast as you run down the court and make layups. You also need to move quickly on defense so you can stay in front of your man. Passing can get your team down the court faster and can get you closer to the goal. One good thing about going fast is that you have no time to focus on mistakes.

Basketball is a good way to share your faith with others. While you are practicing, you can share Christ with your teammates by being nice and respectful to the coaches. When someone falls down, you can pick them back up and offer encouraging words. At the end of the game, whether you win or lose, you need to have good sportsmanship as you reflect Jesus.

The game that started with 13 rules and used a soccer ball and peach basket, is now a sport played around the world. James Naismith created basketball so kids could have fun. He met the need of kids by creating a sport they could play during the winter. Even now, we continue playing the fun game of basketball.

Should have guessed it would be about basketball! Love that boy!! He goes to the regional speech meet in February. I'll let you know how he does. Thanks for loving him, too!

Resolution Reboot

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 04:22:00 +0000

16 days into the new year and my new year's resolution is no more. I gave in...did the very thing I wanted to not do anymore. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Thankfully, grace gives us a new start! When I sin...or cave in...or drink more Coke than I intended...it isn't the end of the world. All I have to do is reboot! Press ctrl-alt-del and begin again.

I John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Stand in God's presence. Bask in His grace. Receive the forgiveness His blood provides and begin anew!

Turning Bitter to Sweet

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 04:14:00 +0000

I have been blessed with the opportunity to sit under the teaching of Jack Carroll each Sunday morning at church. He is truly a teacher at heart and has an obvious passion for the Word of God. He researches and studies in preparation for leading us verse by verse through the Scripture and I come each time with a heart of anticipation. I am ready for the discoveries God leads him to present. This past Sunday was no exception.

We are working through Exodus with Moses leading the children of Israel out of captivity. They have just experienced the miraculous crossing of the Red Sea. You would expect them to be in sheer awe of God...I mean, His very presence is travelling with them and they walked through walls of water...on DRY ground! WOW!!

However...

Exodus 15:22-25 (msg)

"Moses led Israel from the Red Sea on to the Wilderness of Shur. They traveled for three days through the wilderness without finding any water. They got to Marah, but they couldn't drink the water at Marah: it was bitter. That's why they called the place Marah (bitter). And the people complained to Moses, "So what are we supposed to drink?" So Moses cried out in prayer to God. God pointed him to a stick of wood. Moses threw it into the water and the water turned sweet."

Three days without water...I just can't imagine. I keep a cup of water at my desk and drink on it all day as I refill it to my heart's content. Perhaps there is some justification in their complaining. Wandering in the desert for 3 days without water with their families, which include small children. You know toddlers...they tend to cry if they don't get what they want. 5 year old girls do, too...or maybe just my 5 year old girl! I cannot imagine being in the wilderness with her for 3 days without water...ugly!

When they finally arrive at water; it is bitter, undrinkable. I wonder if perhaps it was a picture of their hearts. There are times in Exodus where Israel begged to go back to Egypt because they had the basic necessities. They weren't really living but they weren't miserable either. They had become content in their bondage and perhaps they had become bitter towards Moses or even God for bringing them to the wilderness. And they complained.

Complaining always brings about the desired result, right? NOT!! In my home, complaining or crying is a guarantee that the opposite will occur. God didn't give in to their complaints either. Fortunately for them, Moses had a different solution.

He prayed. God answered. He pointed him to a stick of wood...to a cross.

Moses tossed the wood into the water and it became sweet. Cross + bitterness = sweetness

I like that equation. I love that the blood of Jesus doesn't just cover my sins; it changes my heart. The blood transforms my emotions that make Satan grin into the emotions that make God rejoice.

There have been many things in life that have caused me grief that I could remain bitter about. My mom receiving the ultimate healing from cancer as she is present with the Lord just months after our college spent 24 hours in prayer for one of our Deans and he was healed from his cancer. A trusted denominational leader that did not follow through on his word and we lost our house, our ministry position and our confidence and ended up feeling abandoned and isolated.

I'm stopping there because I don't want to be reminded of the past because God has led me in forgiveness and understanding. His ways are higher than mine and I trust Him! I choose to view the bitterness through the blood of Jesus and see His sweet mercies. When you feel the effects of bitterness in your soul, throw the cross right into the mix and watch and see His sweetness overtake you!

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over), He's all I've got left. Lamentations 3:22-24 (msg)

Thank you, Jack Carroll for teaching me.

Happy New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 03:28:00 +0000

1/1/11

For a family that likes numbers, this year has some great dates in it and the year itself starts off cool! My dad and stepmom got married on 2/2/02. I was born on 9/29/69 and saved on 4/24/74 (can't plan these things!). Jackson was born on 7/8/99 and then Cameron on 6/7/00. So their birthdays are 6/7, 7/8. How easy is that to remember...and my dad needs help remembering! :) So, when we found out Chloe was due on May 9th we all prayed she would be born on the 6th so the birthdays would be 5/6, 6/7, 7/8. However, that girl is an independent spirit and she came on April 26th! (sidenote...LOVE that all 3 of my babies were born before their due dates! thank you children!) I was a little sad about her birth date until my dad pointed out that his birthday is April 13th and then 13 days later it is Chloe's. Numbers matter to my dad. :)

Numbers matter in the Bible as well and there are much smarter people than I to teach on it. However, I do know 7 is the number of completion and 40 is the number of suffering. I was glad to turn 40 because that meant my suffering was over...right?! :)

This was not on mind when I began this post...how did this happen?! Rabbit trail before I even got going! What a year this is going to be! :) hahahahaha

Last night we spent the hours leading up to the new year with close family friends and had a ball!!

We had a bonfire which was fueled by a Christmas tree! I was so mesmerized by the height of the flames that by the time it dawned on me to take a picture the flames had dropped by about 4 feet! BIG flames!

With a fire, comes smores and the kids were not disappointed. They were given pitchfork type prongs because regular hangars would not do, nor would regular marshmallows! Oh no! We had gigantic, seriously HUGE marshmallows! The kids laughed it up and toasted them up. Can't beat melting chocolate with marshmallow and graham crackers! BIG taste!

Then, we proceeded to the front yard with our bags of fireworks...sparklers, snap pops, roman candles, flashers, fountains and high in the sky fireworks! The kids had so much fun and the dads were good sports to keep the fireworks lit and everyone safe. Except for the moment when some of the bigger kids escaped to the end of the driveway and threw smoke bombs across the street and a small fire began in the neighbors yard. They came running back up to the porch saying, "We didn't do it! We didn't do it!" I'm sure they didn't...it was a smoke bomb, however, back across the street they went with a bucket of water and an apology. We stayed back and laughed! BIG fun!

For our finale, everyone broke out their cans of silly string and a war began! We had soldiers from 5 years old to grandpas and noone was free from attack. Most kids went full blast with a can in each hand. Some were more strategic and used just one to begin with and then pulled out their backup when others were out. There was a mess all over the driveway but smiles all over the faces of everyone covered in silly string! BIG, BIG fun!

We cleaned up as best we could and headed inside just in time to hear Dick Clark countdown the ball drop in New York City. We kissed our kids, shouted "Happy New Year!" and headed home. We tucked our children in bed and I watched the clock tick closer to our actual midnight celebration and enjoyed some quiet contemplation.

2010 was full of heartbreak, confusion and uncertainty but it was also full of peace. It most definitely had to be the peace that passes understanding because who in their right minds would put those four words together. It's like a Sesame Street "Which one doesn't belong? Which one is not like the others?" game. Peace and heartbreak...peace and confusion...peace and uncertainty?

Peace is the victor when the Victor reigns in your life. It is a day by day positioning and I pray the experiences of 2010 have prepared me for the continual submission to the Authority who becomes my Peace.

Taking Down the Tree

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 18:49:00 +0000

The boxes are down from the attic and the kids are helping me round up all the little Christmas trees placed throughout the house. I'm sure we will discover one missed in a couple of weeks...or months! ;) As Christmas is past and 2010 is ending, I am reflecting back on this year and I have to say that I am ready for 2011.

We are beginning this new year off on a journey of faith. This time around it wasn't one that we chose for ourselves as we did 8 years ago. This time it was given to us. A steady, guaranteed paycheck will not be appearing in our bank account on a bimonthly basis nor will health and dental insurance keep us from the anxiety of the inevitable sickness that finds children. However, no less faith is required to charge forward on the path that we believe God has prepared for us.

Each moment of our lives are stitched together with faith from the time we kiss our children at the school dropoff to saying goodbye to our spouses as they leave for work. We have faith that God will protect them and provide for them through whatever they encounter. Faith that He is our Healer and Sustainer. Faith that He is our Provider. He is our Banner and Shield.

I am taking down the trees as well as reminding Satan that I have taken down the pain of 2010 through the blood of Jesus...Faith is my Victory!

Thy Word Have I Hid

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 05:22:00 +0000

This has been one of the best Christmases that my family has experienced in a long time! Cameron said that even though they didn't open very many packages he loved this Christmas the best. That truly makes this momma's heart happy...I'm sure you understand!

He received a couple of lazer tag guns. I didn't know anything about these guns when I first heard him mention that he would like some several months ago. I googled them and read countless customer reviews until I found some in my price range that an adult consumer even loved. WOW! They are so much fun to play with! The only downside is having to stop and reload! hahaha

I am a tad on the assertive...okay, fine...aggressive side :) and I charge after my opponent firing the whole time, so inevitably when I have to stop and reload, I get hit. There have been several battles when the boys have figured me out and they simply wait to shoot while I am reloading. Good strategy on their part, but I am truly shouting, "Not fair!" :) All in good fun...well, as long as I'm winning!

As this day is drawing to a close, and I am ready to commit to a Scripture memory challenge, it dawns on me that I face life this way many times. I can charge ahead and then when I am out of gas, Satan attacks. As this year has been drawing to a close I have been neglecting the very thing I need to reload. Instead of saturating my mind with the Word, I have been dwelling on the "truth" Satan has been feeding me. He knows my weakness and I have been letting him push my buttons.

Why, oh why, would I allow this when the very power that conquered the grave lives inside of me?!! Jesus defeated the attacks of Satan with Scripture He had committed to memory...I can do the same!

"Thy Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee." There are many reasons for Christians to memorize the Word of God, and a powerful one is found in the book of Psalms. The very Word of God will keep us from falling into sin. I Corinthians tells us that with every temptation comes a way of escape. Hearing the Word spoken to my soul from deep in my heart has led me back to my Father's side many times and I will never reach the place where I won't need to reload.

So, I am publicly declaring that I will be joining Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory Team for 2011. I am committing to memorizing 24 verses in the next 12 months...24 new verses for me. I will not be simply refreshing my memory of verses I have already memorized, but will commit a new arsenal as I reload for victory! And, I do love to win!

Please consider joining me. Check out her blog post that describes the team. http://blog.lproof.org/2010/12/siesta-scripture-memory-instructions.html. And, then let me know you will be joining me. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Eccl 4.

Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions For Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 00:20:00 +0000

Jesus Calling has been the perfect answer to my prayer for Cameron. Each night as I would tuck him into bed, we would discuss the day and pray. Now, the heart and words of Jesus pour into him as well.

Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions for Kids was written by Sarah Young during her own personal quiet times with the Lord. The devotions are written in the first person, as if Jesus is speaking directly to the reader. Many times, I have found myself changing the pronouns in the Bible to the first person because I want to hear Jesus addressing me specifically.

The devotions cover many aspects of a Christian's walk from fear to joy to giving and faith. Each day begins with a verse from the Word followed by a devotional thought and ending with further verses to look up and read. Cameron has chosen these verses and thoughts to share with his class at school when it is his turn to lead the daily devotional.

Not only has Jesus Calling helped ground him in the Word, it has developed his confidence in sharing the Word. I whole-heartedly recommend this devotional for parents and kids.

I received this book free from the publisher through the Thomas Nelson BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program.

November Puddles vs June Puddles

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 03:57:00 +0000

November 29th...Thanksgiving is over and our bellies are full. Christmas is in high gear from the Black Friday crazies (of which I have taken part) to the millions of twinkle lights creating magic in the hearts of children (or the childlike). Cooler temperatures have arrived in my little corner of Texas and I am ready for winter...ready for the extra blankets that have been freshly laundered and brought down to a lower shelf in the closet...ready for the snuggly sweaters and scarfs with matching mittens...ready for boots that keep my toes toasty and outfits trendy...ready for...rain?! No...that doesn't fit the puzzle I am putting together. However, that is what we woke up to this morning. Pouring down, cold, no-fun-to-be-had rain!

The kids and I headed to the car quickly this morning to avoid getting drenched and forged on to school. When we arrived the parking lot was full of puddles...no way to avoid them as we headed in on our first day back from a fun-filled break. Typically, a vivacious five year old would jump right in those puddles and watch the water fly! You know you've done the very same thing...in June! or to be poetically correct, April! April showers bring May flowers (which brought the pilgrims! One of my son's favorite jokes!). In June, or April, the water is cool and refreshing. In November, it is cold and miserable. It makes you wish for a fireplace to lay in front of and warm up with a steaming mug of hot cocoa...don't forget the marshmallows, please!

Today, Chloe stood at the edge of a puddle that was clearly too wide for her to step across. She looked up and down and realized she would have to step in it to get to the building. Her eyes gazed up at me and before she uttered the words I knew I would have to rearrange everything in my arms to scoop her up and save her from the...save her from the rain puddle?! I think not! I reminded her how much fun it is to splash in puddles...how I can't keep her out of them in the summer...how she loves to walk out of her way to find the largest puddle to jump in. She wasn't convinced and tiptoed her way across.

The fact is cold water feels good when you are hot but it is miserable when you are cold. The same is true of our words. Words can encourage someone in the right circumstance but could also discourage in the wrong moment. My favorite book says, "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in the right circumstances." Proverbs 25:11.

May wisdom guide our words to be spoken well at the right time. Splashes of rain in June...

where everybody knows your name

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:14:00 +0000

It may have been a bar that was referred to as the place where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came. But...it should be the church. Noone should walk through the doors of a church and feel unwanted or unwelcome. Each individual should be touched and spoken to. And, I mean spoken to in a conversation sort of way...not in a "Good Morning" now I'm done fashion.

I have recently returned to the church that is home in my heart. Throughout my many years of life I have only been a member of this congregation for perhaps 3 years and not consecutive. Yet, I feel as though I belong...I am one of them. The people who make up this church never cease to amaze me with their warmth and friendship.

Yesterday, I was in a meeting at the church where I only knew the minister and yet I felt as if I was with friends. It is all because people chose to open their mouths and hearts and welcome me. I was spoken to and touched. Oh, how my heart has needed this body of believers and I know God is going to continue showering them with blessings as they lift His name and love others.

Learning Something New

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Mon, 03 May 2010 13:35:00 +0000

I am confident that one day I will be a published author. I just know it. Call me an optimist, a dreamer or crazy, but I am confident of the dream God has given me and know that He will give me an avenue to share the burden on my heart.

Because of this dream book ideas and book titles are always around me. They pop up in the craziest of times and silliest of ways. A few years ago I grew weary of hearing my boys say to one another, "I know." They used this phrase to everyone about everything. I was one of these teenagers...always thinking I was right, knowing that I knew the right thing and at the right time. I did not want my boys to become what I once was, so we decided to change the "I know" to "You're right." Because if someone tells us what we already know to be true, aren't they right?!

Also the attitude behind the two phrases is different. The attitude of "I know" is one of superiority. It's the I'm better than you...I'm smarter than you...Who do you think you are to try and teach me. Definitely not the mind of Christ.

Now the attitude of the second phrase is one of encouragement, praise and support. It says, "Good job!" The words build up the spirit of the speaker as having been acknowledged with success. Because really, don't you just love being right? Isn't it a wonderful feeling knowing you have the right information and knowledge? Trust me, I have been wrong often enough in my "25" years that being right is an AMAZING feeling. And to have someone else acknowledge my "rightness" creates a pause in the moment as I savor the euphoria. lol!

Recently, teenagers in our youth group acknowledged that they have stopped coming to the youth service because they already know everything being taught. They already know that God desires His children to be in church inviting their unsaved friends to join them. They already know that Christians should spend consistent, quality time in Bible study and prayer. The importance of memorizing Scripture has already been taught to them. They know the value of accountability.

I could go on and on because we teach the basics of the Christian faith so that when teenagers graduate high school and go on to college we desire them to not graduate from their faith. We have a passion about instilling the disciplines of the faith so deep in the souls of the students entrusted to us that we will not stop teaching them what they may already know. This passion extends to the deep-seeded desire to watch them reproduce themselves in others. To take the knowledge they have gained and instill it in another is something that produces a high no drug created can compete with.

Seeing former youth now involved in full-time ministry, hearing about the salvations of students on a dorm floor because of the leadership of one who graduated from our ministry but not his faith...these are the reasons we struggle for what we hold dear.

Our new pastor said in his first sermon at our church, "Doctrine that does not lead to practice is wasted knowledge." Knowing God desires you to come to church and grow with other believers is wasted if you do not show up. Knowing God wants you to share His love with those around you is wasted if you never open your mouth. Knowing God hopes to see you lead others to grow in Him is wasted if you choose to take yourself out of church instead of stepping up to leadership positions.

There comes a time in every Christian's life where the phrase "Actions speak louder than words," is evident. Knowledge is wasted if actions of that knowledge are not displayed.

Because really...can't we all learn something new when we already knew everything?

future book title..."Learning Something New When I Already Knew Everything." :)

Teacher's Pet

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 20:06:00 +0000

I realize that it is not a wise thing to have a teacher's pet. It could cause problems in the classroom and with other student's parents.

But what am I to do when one of my students brings in an incredibly delectable treat after hearing me describe the tantalizing effects of one?

And in such a clever way?!!

She even remembered a bottle opener!! Tell me...what was I to do?! extra credit? :)

Freedom or Chains

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:00:00 +0000

Jackson and Cameron competed in the ACSI regional Speech Meet today in Tyler, Texas. Cameron recited the fable, "The Honest Woodman." Jackson gave an original speech about our nation entitled, "Freedom or Chains." I am proud of them for their courage to stand before students, parents and judges and speak. It is a skill that many of us do not possess and I love them for their willingness to strive to become better. I know God has great things in store for them.

I wanted to share Jackson's speech with you. Several parents who heard him said he had their vote. His are powerful words that we should take to heart. Let's keep our nation free and commit to doing our part to make her into a strong Christian nation who honors the Lord.

Freedom or Chains

by Jackson Bates, age 10

As Americans we claim to be free, but are we? We can move about freely, own private property and bear arms, but will the government one day try to change this?

In church we can worship in our own way, teach our children to believe as we do and we can believe in God as we wish, but will the government one day try to shut down all the churches we have built? Will they one day try to take away our religious freedoms?

Based on recent events, such as, government takeovers of the auto industry, bank bailouts and the White House leaving out Fox News from important press conferences because of the way they were reporting about them leads you to believe that the government is on its way to replacing our freedoms for their chains.

It appears that our taxes are going up on a daily basis. We should learn from the example of the Congo and their former leader General Joseph Mobutu. He took away what should have been their enormous wealth and made himself one of the richest men in the world as he allowed them to spiral down to the depths of the poor. The Congolese are still suffering from the effects of his leadership. America could very well be on her way if our citizens don’t keep an eye on the leaders of this country.

The one guarantee we have in maintaining freedom over chains is democracy which means “people rule.” Democracy is the idea that people have the right to take an active part in their government. We have the right to vote. We have the right to run for office. We have the right to make sure our voices are heard. We should do our best to keep our freedoms free and take back those things the government has placed in chains.

Love and War

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 15:09:00 +0000

"...Mostly what God does is love you...His love was not cautious but extravagant...Love like that."

Ephesians 5:1-2 (msg)

Kelly and I have been married for almost 19 years and our relationship is at its best when we are spending time together talking, laughing, eating (Mexican food preferably) and focusing on the other. Extravagant love does not require a sacrifice of money...simply a sacrifice of time and selfish desires. God does not spend money. God gave His Son. Jesus gave His energy, His tears, His very life. These are the marks of extravagance.

"What the Eldredge bestsellers Wild at Heart did for men, and Captivating did for women, LOVE & WAR will do for married couples everywhere. John and Stasi Eldredge have contributed the quintessential works on Christian spirituality through the experience of men and the experience of women and now they turn their focus to the incredible dynamic between those two forces.

With refreshing openness that will grab readers from the first page, the Eldredges candidly discuss their own marriage and the insights they’ve gained from the challenges they faced. Each talks independently to the reader about what they’ve learned, giving their guidance personal immediacy and a balance between the male and female perspectives that has been absent from all previous books on this topic. They begin LOVE & WAR with an obvious but necessary acknowledgement: Marriage is fabulously hard. They advise that the sooner we get the shame and confusion off our backs, the sooner we'll find our way through.

LOVE & WAR shows couples how to fight for their love and happiness, calling men and women to step into the great adventure God has waiting for them together. Walking alongside John and Stasi Eldredge, every couple can discover how their individual journeys are growing into a story of meaning much greater than anything they could do or be on their own."

This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah. You can purchase your copy at http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780385529808

More Than Enough

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 17:12:00 +0000

A friend mentioned in her status update recently that "God always chooses the right person for the job... we're the ones who have our doubts..." I had just finished reading the portion of Scripture describing the construction of the Tabernacle for the children of Israel to construct when I read her words. God detailed a place for Him to dwell among them. I love the details that God gives for each item, including the hooks. He shows concern for the little things that will bring Him honor.

Even more than that, I am humbled by the use of the phrase "a skilled craftsman" should do the work. Several times as God is describing how things should be built and the types of material to use, He says a "skilled craftsman" is to do the work. Then, in Exodus 31: 1-5, God says,

"See what I've done; I've personally chosen Bezalel...I've filled him with the Spirit of God, giving him skill and know how and expertise in every kind of craft to create designs and work in gold, silver, and bronze to cut and set gemstones; to carve wood - he's an all-around craftsman."

LOVE IT! God commanded a temple to be built and He gifted someone with the skills necessary to do an exceptional job...by the Spirit of God! Normally, we all think of the spiritual gifts listed in I Corinthians to be the only things God gifts us for in ministry. But, right here in the Old Testament, we are shown that God gives us ALL of our abilities, ALL of our knowledge, ALL of our passions to be used for His glory!

When Moses tells the children of Israel what God has commanded in regards to building this place of worship some of them are touched by the Spirit to give.

Exodus 35:20-29 "...then they came back, everyone whose heart was roused, whose spirit was freely responsive, bringing offerings to God... They came...all the willing spirits among them...women skilled at weaving brought their weavings...women who were gifted in spinning, spun... Every man and woman in Israel whose heart moved freely to bring something for the work that God through Moses had commanded them to make, brought it, a voluntary offering for God."

How awesome would this sight be? God gives a church a job to do. He moves among them and they give through obedience. And, without the mention of the blessing they will receive through their obedient giving. What a concept! Give because God says to, not because of what we could get. His Spirit moves in us and causes to care. He causes us to become emotionally involved and moves us to act by giving what He has ALREADY blessed us with.

But, wait! It gets better! In Exodus 36, a picture is painted that I have yet to see with my own eyes or experience in my lifetime.

"The people kept on bringing in their freewill offerings, morning after morning. All the artisans who were at work making everything...came...to Moses, saying, 'The people are bringing more than enough for doing this work that God has commanded us to do!'...The people were ordered to stop bringing offerings!"

Can you imagine a preacher getting up before his congregation and telling them that the offering plates would not be passed that day because the church had more than enough to do the work God had given them? How often has this happened? Exodus 36:7 says, "There was plenty...enough and more than enough."

God instills in each of us exactly what we need to obey. He has gifted us, shaped us for His service from our dreams to our knowledge to our skills to our pocketbooks. He wants us to be involved in His Kingdom work and has graciously provided us with everything we need to obey Him just as He commands us.

What is it that your church has been called to do? What are the pastors at your church looking for? How has God gifted you to meet those needs? How is the Spirit rousing your heart? Jump in! Day after day volunteer. Be the one to provide more than enough, because YOU are the one He has gited! YOU are the one God has chosen.

YOU are the one!

Braggin' Rights

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 17:18:00 +0000

Okay...just a litle bragging for today. My kids are just way too cool! This was homecoming week at school and the prizes are awarded for the best dressed each day. Cameron has always wanted to win, but has yet to achieve that goal. This was definitely his year...sorry to say I did not take pictures. Don't know what I was thinking...oh yeah, I am just trying to get out of the house on time! ;)

Anyway, Cameron won for Geek Day and Favorite Color Day. On Geek Day he had a shirt buttoned up to his neck with a pocket full of pens, jeans pulled up to his armpits, mismatched knee socks, dress shoes and the greasiest slicked over hair that wouldn't budge even when we tried to wash it out. SOOO wish I had a picture!

For Favorite Color Day, he was in Jayhawk colors (of course!). He wore blue Jayhawk shorts and shirt, painted his arms and legs blue and his head and hair red. AWESOME!! So much fun!

Chloe won for Maroon Mania Day! She wore her cheerleader uniform, homecoming mum, high ponytail with a maroon mesh bow that stood high on her head and had her face painted maroon and white! It was awesome!

My fifth grade class won the door decorating contest and the Founder's Award for class cheer at the pep rally. We won simply because we were the only class to create a cheer based on the theme of the week...Superheros! Ice Cream Parties await us!

Jackson and Cameron both had to miss the pep rallies because they had won the school spelling bee for their grades and the regional bee was yesterday afternoon. Cameron finished 7th place and Jackson finished 3rd!! I am so proud of them!

Monday was the school speech meet. Cameron won for his recitation of "The Honest Woodman" and Jackson won for his original speech "Our Nation: Freedom or Chains." The regional speech meet is in February. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!

I truly love my children and am so blessed to be their mom!

God's Important Nothings

noreply@blogger.com (Gay Anne) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:18:00 +0000

I wrote the following for a ladies ministry website a few years ago and the Lord brought it to my mind recently. I will always be encouraged by the fact that the King of Kings loves me so intimately and cares for me so deeply that He will not allow a single one of my tears to escape His attention. And that is saying something because He created very active tear ducts in this girl! I love Him so much and am moved that He loves me more! He loves you more too!

"You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in Your ledger, each ache written in Your book.” Psalm 56:9 (The Message)

When I was in high school I wanted to be just like my youth minister’s wife. She was beautiful, smart, married (which is always a dream for a teenage girl) and in an obvious love relationship with Jesus. I began to watch her closely and emulate what I saw. One thing I learned from her that I still enjoy to this day is journaling.

My mom bought my first journal and I began taking notes in church. I had the amazing privilege of sitting under the preaching of Paige Patterson and my first exposure to a little Greek. This ignited a spark of desire to learn on my own and my journal grew from simply church notes to devotional thoughts and prayers of response.

Through this relationship that was budding in the pages of my journal, I began talking with Jesus all day and my journal became an integral part of my days. I jotted down thoughts and prayers and all my important nothings. My journal is simply full of letters to Jesus; letters from my heart.

I have looked back through my journals and my important nothings in high school were all about boys. I prayed about which ones to date, which ones to set my friends up with and which one I would marry. In college, my letters to Jesus remained on boys but also showed my first true hurt in life as my mom died. The pages written during those days truly display the pain and confusion I felt as I lost my best friend.

My journals from the early years of marriage show my excitement and faith in the life God had chosen for my new husband and me. The way He provided for us during seminary and our first place of ministry is recorded in my journals. The struggle between wanting to become parents and not becoming pregnant brought questions but not always answers. And yet, my love and trust in Jesus remains evident in my journal, especially at the birth of my first and shortly after, second sons. I returned to the days of journaling about boys.

Besides the grief of losing my mom, my journals are happy and content memories of how God directs and uses us to build His kingdom. They are full of verses that God used to speak to me specifically about situations. These journals are my life story.

A few years ago my life story became one of seeming failure. My husband and I stepped out in faith and came back broken and in pain. The pages in my journal are now tear-stained with words that cannot be read. Many nights I fall asleep on a wet pillow and wake up with a headache from the tossing and turning which keeps true rest far away. I wonder when the joy of ministry will find me again and my life story return to joy.

Until that time, it is comforting to know that God is also journaling. His important nothings are all about me. He keeps track of each toss and turn that keeps me awake and counts each tear that falls down my cheek and those that get wiped away. He knows about my sleepless nights and each ache that lives in my heart. God journals about me and includes His very own words to cover my life. The Bible says that Jesus lives to make intercession for me and that intercession is evident in His ledger, His journal.

Friend, God also cares about you. He cares about your joys and your tears. He knows what keeps you awake at night. So even when physical rest eludes you, know that you can find true spiritual rest in the arms of our Father.

Gay Anne Bates
2007