Little Gray Pixel

The It List

2012-05-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

Five things I'm lovin' right now ...

Aimee Sicuro's work, including this print called Disconnect.
Moroccan-inspired interiors like this one from Lonny magazine. [via]
Wooden bangles by Voz.
Anchor flats from J. Crew.
Breakfast pizza. Eggs on anything, really.

As always, you can see more things I'm lovin' over on Pinterest.

Photoshoot: Huntington Beach

2012-05-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

I've been really lazy about going through the hundreds, yes, hundreds of photos I took while my mother-in-law was visiting. These are a few of my favorites from my favorite day we shared. We waited till about 1:30 before packing up and heading down the 405 to Huntington Beach.

Now, Alexa has been to the beach before, but she was just a wee baby. This was the first time she played in the sand, ran around by the shore and in general explored outside our beach tent. She was so excited at first that we took her down to the surf and dipped her feet in. Big mistake! Her face shriveled up with displeasure and nothing would make her happy except hanging out in the tent with me and Mima. And eating blueberries. Blueberries make everything better.

Eventually H and I walked her back toward the surf, but we stayed a few feet away and threw the frisbee around. Alexa ran back and forth between us, enjoying our little game, sometimes helping to pick up a wayward frisbee. Then she went too far and the tide dared touch her feet. Plop! She sat down right into the water, getting wet up to her waist. Cue the tears.

This time it wasn't so bad. She came back to the tent with me and we snuggled under a few beach towels to stay warm while H played frisbee with his mom. We packed up as the sun was setting.

Beach days aren't as carefree as they used to be back when I would boogie board till I was exhausted and then blast good tunes through my iPod as I let the sun dry me off. A few times I caught myself mourning the fact that I was stuck in a tent with a toddler. But then she would take my hand and we would walk around in the sand. She would babble excitedly. She would pick up shells (and try to eat them). Seeing the beach through her eyes makes up for all the lost hours of boogie boarding. It really does.

That being said, how long before Alexa and I can boogie board together? Two years? Three?

Let's Talk About Sweat, Baby

2012-05-25T01:37:00.002-07:00

I hate it. I absolutely hate to sweat. And yet there's some kind of flaw in my DNA that makes me perspire at the slightest hint of exercise. Now that I've been working out at the gym regularly it's getting worse. Is this some kind of sick joke? It's like a punishment for getting in shape. Now all I have to do is vigorously wipe down the kitchen counter and a bead of sweat will appear on my brow. Damn you, glands!

Part of the reason I was happy to move to Los Angeles was because the humidity is nonexistent and summers are bearable, unlike in the Midwest and the South. I thought that surely I would have no sultry evenings in which my hair stuck to my forehead. Surely L.A. would be the escape from feeling sticky only hours after bathing, but no.

Friends assure me they cannot see me sweating. Sometimes I get really self-conscious about it and I whisper, and by whisper I mean yell loudly so everyone can hear, "Can you tell I'm sweating?" And people say, "No, only you can tell you're sweating."

To these people, may I present Exhibit A:

In the current season of my obsessive "Prison Break" watching (shh, don't tell me anything), they are in Panama and sweating. All. The. Time. Excessively sweating. And you can totally tell! Sometimes they're in supposed air-conditioned environments and still the beads rain from their foreheads. I get it. They're in Panama. It's hot. But I'm sitting in my chair and feeling the urge to apply more deodorant to my armpits. I am imagining a pool of sweat forming behind my knees. Let the madness stop!

It's 2012. Can't we figure out a way to keep ourselves cool without all the waterworks? Maybe some kind of nanobots that wick the sweat away before it even thinks about forming on your skin?

Unfortunately Alexa has inherited my sweating gene. Now that the temperatures are rising outside she has a few little heat rashes that are being stubborn. And if she throws a tantrum the top of her head goes from 98.6 degrees to approximately 1,000 degrees in 5.1 seconds. Thankfully she's a child and hasn't yet developed a hatred for sweating. It's only a matter of time, though, so can we get on the nanobots before these escaped convicts in "Prison Break" give me a virtual heatstroke?

Snapshots

2012-05-22T17:16:00.001-07:00

On my Instagram: (Come follow me @littlegraypixel)

On my playlist: I finally tore the cellophane off some remastered Beatles CDs. They were a gift from H ... oh, two Christmases ago. Might I just say. Wow. Beatles in stereo. Good stuff. And some rare German versions of "She Loves You" and "I Want to Hold Your Hand." Nice.

On my plate: CHERRIES. Did you know CHERRIES are here? Go get 'em. I can't eat any around Alexa or she will insist she eats half of each one. I don't mind sharing so much, though, because I can't blame the girl for loving the CHERRIES.

On my Kindle: Finally finished "Insurgent" by Veronica Roth. It started off so slow I was sure I was going to give it two thumbs down. It picked up about 40 chapters in. And I'm not so sure how I feel about the ending. I do know I'll read the final book in the trilogy. So ... mixed review. Anyone else read "Insurgent"? Thoughts?

On my TV: On Mother's Day I insisted that we watch "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," which led to "3 O'Clock High" which led to "Switchblade Sisters." I've been grooving on cheese and camp lately. And, since my mother-in-law left on Sunday, I've been watching my obsession: "Prison Break." I'm on the third season now, and it's getting ri-gosh-darn-diculous. LOVE IT.

On my wish list: New pillows. Ones that do not give me a literal pain in the neck.

On my mind: Saving our cash for a trip to Morocco. How do you fiscally responsible people do it? You know, those of you who are not distracted by shiny things. Any tips?

Neon Golden

2012-05-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

There are neon colors splattered all over the place right now. My knee-jerk reaction was to write them off, probably because I have childhood memories of a wearing a crazy neon-blue short and tee set ... and scrunchie socks (and the unfortunate photos to prove it). As with any wild trend, I figured these things were better left in the past.

But then I started to see that it looked good if one wore neon sparingly. Imagine that. No need to plaster yourself in head-to-toe nuclear orange. How about a light coral or lime green pair of shoes? Or yellow cropped pants?

I fully endorse this watered-down neon trend. Just keep the rest of the outfit simple, and you will look like 2012, not 1990.

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Four Years Later

2012-05-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Alexa has been calling for her Daddy all the time. It's giving me a complex how she won't say "Mommy" or "Mama" or "Hey You." Tonight when I walked through the door after a long day at work, she was cuddling with Daddy and wanted nothing to do with me. And I mean nothing. She screamed and thrashed her head when I tried to hug her.

It's times like these when I really want my Mommy.

Me and Mom, 2005

I want to tell her I'm sorry if I ever did the same thing to her when I was a baby, if she ever felt sad when I didn't return her unconditional hugs and love. That all of those threats of "just you wait" have come to fruition, even though I know they're just starting and oh my god I can't even imagine what the teenage years will bring because if what goes around comes around I'm in for an awful treat. Or trick.

I want to tell her how I understand now exactly how much she loved me. How I couldn't fully fathom the extent of her feelings for me until I was a mom myself. I want to call her and complain or gush about Alexa or just hear her voice, for crying out loud.

Four years later and I want my Mommy every single day.

Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fine ...

2012-05-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Walgreens for underwriting this post. I was paid as a member of the Clever Girls Collective, but the content is all mine. Visit http://www.discoverbeautywithin.com/.

In junior high, my friends and I would line up by the sink in the girls room and share our blushes and eyeshadows and lipsticks, spending an inordinate amount of time primping and preening. For what purpose I'm not sure. It's not like junior high boys, most of them towering a few inches beneath us, were worth impressing. I guess we were impressing one another with whoever had the most makeup savvy or beauty tools. By the way, 12-year-old self? Sharing lipstick and eye makeup tools is totes unsanitary, kid.

Fast-forward a few decades and I can't be bothered to primp and preen. I like the way I look au naturel (with the exception of my raccoon eyes), so I often go for the bare-faced look that most seem to save for summertime at the beach. Care to look like this?

They call me Mellow Yellow.

Ha. Just imagine me sipping pina coladas while surrounded by the warm glow of sunset instead of in this really crappy bathroom lighting, OK? Here's how it's done. First, moisturize. Now, this is a step I'm not really familiar with because I skip it more than I should, but my mom swore by Oil of Olay, and she was a gorgeous lady. She also glistened instead of sweating like a hog, so this is what I actually do: apply lotion at night, powder with SPF during the day. Powder helps soak up the perspiration. But before I put on the powder I cover up my raccoon eyes with some under-eye concealer.

Now, my favorite part. BRONZER. Bronzify, friends. Don't forget your decollage, lest you look like you sunned yourself wearing a nun's habit.

To finish up, add some nude or coral lip gloss and a little bit of shimmery gold eyeshadow, and you're golden. Literally. You will shine and shimmer in the summer breeze, and the song "Summer Breeze" will actually start playing in your presence! Summer breeze, makes me feel fine.

Ahem.

Best part is, this simple and light look only takes five minutes. Ten minutes if you have a little helper who is getting into everything atop your sink.

I highly recommend everyone get their own little makeup helper, if only for the cuteness factor..

The minimalist look is timeless and trendy, but there is one very trendy idea I'd like to play with this summer: bright lips. This coral shade looks practically neon to me, but I am willing to give it a try (even if I did have the same color of bike shorts in 1990). I also like the idea of a lipstick called Fuschia Fusion, maybe because I love alliteration. What do you think? Do you have any go-to looks you'd like to share? Maybe you'd like to pass me your lipstick in our virtual girls room?

Mother of a Day

2012-05-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Me and Alexa, February 2011

Last year I had a Mother's Day blog party, and I made so many friends I'd like to link back to it today. I don't generally repost on this blog, but I couldn't let these words of wisdom just gather dust in the Internet oblivion. Check it out here.

And Happy Mother's Day!

Would you ever go to space?

2012-05-10T22:48:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about the final frontier lately. And I'm thinking I wouldn't want to go.

Like, say, someone from NASA called you on a secure line and said, "Long-term space travel is possible! Want to take a pleasure cruise to the Saturn rings?" I would be the opposite of Lance Bass and just. say. no. Even if the pleasure cruise was a 30-day trip orbiting Earth I would just. say. no.

There are a lot of reasons space travel freaks me out. Granted, a lot of them have to do with movies and books I've read. The most recent book I read, "A Million Suns," takes place on a spaceship that is set to travel 300 years to colonize a new Earthlike planet. The ship has a crew of people who are keeping things going, living their lives, procreating, growing crops, "losing" history and also losing their minds because the landing date has been set back several hundred years past the original landing date. Count me out.

And what about "Space Camp"? Being accidentally shot into space was not the best thing ever for those kids, who repeatedly almost died in a series of precarious situations. (This movie also reinforces my fear of robots but that's a topic for a different day.)

Don't even get me started on the "Alien" movies.

Then there's the more primal fear I get when I think about space. It's difficult to describe, but I'll try. The closest thing I can compare with is the feeling I got when I went snorkeling in Hawaii in 30-foot waters. After getting into the water, I looked down and nearly lost it. All the air exited my lungs, I screamed but no sound came out, I was paralyzed with fear. I felt like I was going to fall down, but instead I hovered. I hovered and I kicked, and I barely moved, yet I was drifting ever further from the boat without trying. I imagine floating around in space would feel a lot like that. No control. No real power.

H and I watched a 3D Imax movie a few years ago about space. There is a scene in which Leo DiCaprio describes the star nursery, and how there are unknown amounts of them. Groups of stars comprising galaxies. Clusters of galaxies forming the entire universe. And as we're drifting through this (remember, it's 3D!) I started to feel sick, just like I felt floating in Hawaii.

It's a too-big universe out there, and just how insignificant we are can be overwhelming.

So there you have it. I would not go to space on a pleasure cruise. The only way I'm leaving Earth is if I'm forced out because the planet is about to explode. And even then only if my entire family drags me kicking and screaming. I would eventually stop screaming. I hope.

What about you? Would you go to space?

All images taken from the Hubble.

Snapshots

2012-05-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

On my Instagram: (Come follow me @littlegraypixel)

On my playlist: The Ventures on vinyl, ordered from The Record Troll. In love with the records and the seller. Just ordered a John Lennon record from him today.

On my plate: Thanks to my mother-in-law, Moroccan food like couscous, meloui, bastilla.

On my Kindle: Just started reading "Insurgent" by Veronica Roth.

On my Netflix: Haven't really watched much of anything during this week of leisure.

On my wish list: A new pair of sunglasses. Alexa broke the purple Anthro sunnies I bought in the clearance bin a few years ago.

On my mind: Present Alexa and future Alexa. She changed so much this week, and I was privileged enough to see it firsthand. Miss that girl so much when I'm at work. Also thinking about the state of education in this country and how much power I will (or won't) have over ensuring that she gets a good one.

The Past Few Days

2012-05-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

Life is good. In no particular order: palm trees, sunshine, H's mom, ocean, mischievous toddler, couscous, Cinco de Mayo, flowers, springtime, long walks on short piers, sailboats everywhere, coral shirts, tall hills with lighthouses at the top, teething toddler (maybe this isn't so good), authentic Moroccan food, translation conversations that include lots of hysterical laughter from all parties ... really, having a blast this weekend.

10 Dollar Bill

2012-05-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

You have a $10 bill in your pocket. Why don't you ...

Slap this decal of The Beatles on your laptop. What? You say you're a big shot and don't need any Help! Well, perhaps you'd rather take a stroll across Abbey Road instead.

Snapshots

2012-05-04T13:54:00.000-07:00

On my Instagram (user @littlegraypixel):

On my playlist: The Temper Trap (especially this song), Beatles B-sides, Jack White's Blunderbuss

On my plate: Hastily ordered Papa John's veggie pizza. Not my finest culinary moment. Or week. I've been on a tear with crazy cravings lately: hot dogs*, cookies, fish and chips. Hope my mother-in-law prepares some good, nutritious Moroccan food this week to undo the sins of the past few days.

On my Kindle: Bloom by Kelle Hampton. Love her blog.

On my Netflix: Prison Break. Close to the end of the second season.

On my wish list: Frames to hang my tiny 3x5 photos. Why is this so difficult?

On my mind: Enjoying the upcoming days I'm taking off to spend time with my family and to show my mother-in-law a good time.

*Yes, I temporarily fell off the vegetarian bus. I'll probably be taking a detour in carnivore land while H's mom is here because I'm sure she will be cooking with meat.

Being Mothered

2012-05-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

H followed me upstairs when I arrived home from work tonight. He said little as I stripped off my work clothes and reached for something more comfortable among the meticulously stacked clothes in my closet. Wait. Did I say stacked? Did I say meticulous?

"Um," I said.

"Yep," he said, opening his side of the closet to compare the tidy rows of clothes. "She did. And she even folded my dirty clothes."

Say what!?

My mother-in-law, left to her own devices for a few hours today, took the opportunity to clean, reorganize and rearrange whatever wasn't bolted down in our townhouse. This sweet woman — who upon entering our home showered me with hugs and kisses and called me her daughter and gestured with enthusiasm so we could communicate despite our language barrier — she is totally OCD. And I love it.

This is the first time we've met, and H and I were married 14 years ago this June. Tickets to Morocco are not cheap, and the timing was always wrong. When we had the money we didn't have the time. When we had the time we didn't have the money. Life. Sigh.

So 14 years later, she's here, folding my yoga pants and realigning my pantry items to make more space. She's here, doting on her granddaughter and telling me I'm tired and should go to bed and tsking at us for washing the dishes because she wants to do that.

I love it. I have forgotten what it's like to have a benevolent mother figure around, someone who willingly does the little things for you without thought. I have become that mother figure to Alexa, obviously, but since my mom's death I have been without one of my own.

And even if I'm not exactly thrilled about the new location of the candlesticks ... well, so what. They can stay put for now. Ignoring our differences in housekeeping and home decor is a small price to pay for some motherly love.

Photoshoot: 15 Months Old

2012-05-01T19:31:00.002-07:00

Baby girl turned 15 months old on April 28. Each month on the 28th I take a photo of Miss Alexa and her owl to mark her growth because, as everyone likes to remind me, "they're only little for a short while."

Alexa's wearing a range of clothing (from 12 to 24 months, just depending). She's wearing most of her size 5 shoes now, and her little size 4 bunny slippers are getting too snug. I think I'll cry when I pack them away. They are such favorites. Good thing we love these cute See Kai Run shoes just as much! Alexa is definitely outgrowing her sleepwear. H sent me on a mission to pick up more sleepers from Target, and I came to the sad realization that her only option as far as Target's concerned is to wear pajamas now, as in tops and bottoms! No more footed sleepers. Tears.

She's transitioning into one nap a day. Some days she'll still do two naps, but others she will sleep for a loooong stretch and be done with it for the rest of the day.

She still has two teeth. Waiting on those other ones to pop out at any minute ...

Alexa is learning to eat with a fork and spoon. It's hilarious. She will scoop up some food, fling it without noticing and put the empty utensil in her mouth. So many messes for me, but also quite a few chuckles. We are pretty much failing at getting her to transition to a sippy cup. She will only use them to drink water. Milk must come from a bottle or there.will.be.screaming.

She is climbing the stairs now (both up and down). She's so swift that we can't turn our backs or she'll be halfway up. We are still working on finding the perfect baby gates. For now we have positioned our footstools just so. They're blocking the staircase entrance. I'm sure this will only be temporary because she'll figure out how to climb those any day now. In related news, she climbed the jungle gym at the park last weekend. It's just constant milestones going on over here, I tell you.

Other faves: crayons, stacking cups, carrying her bags on her arm, taking things out, putting things back in, the abacus, listening to records with Mama in the morning, taking the remote controls from Daddy, her princess wand, playing "tag"

This photoshoot might've been the most challenging we've ever had (and both H and I were there!). As soon as he put the owl in her hand she would sprint off, giving me one shot tops. We had to keep repositioning her. I think I might have to drug her next month to keep her in the same spot for more than 1 second. Kidding. Kind of.

Steppin' Out

2012-04-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

What I'm wearing

Striped top: Thrifted

Shrug: Thrifted (remixed here)

Jean capris: Ross

What Alexa's wearing

Tunic: Target

Leggings: Target (remixed here)

Shoes: See Kai Run (remixed here)

This is what we wore yesterday on our day out. Our destinations included IKEA, the park, World Market and The Counter. It was a fun day. We thought we wore Alexa out with all the sliding, running and swinging in the park. Alas, we were wrong. We had one of those nightmare bedtimes, the kind that dragged on for three hours because a certain little girl wouldn't stop jumping up and down in her crib. Finally, at 9 p.m., H and I were able to breathe a sigh of relief. We promptly passed out because we realized exactly how exhausted we were. Toddlers = tired parents.

So. Let's address what everyone's thinking here. Do you always have to match Alexa? I'm telling you, it's a total accident! I like stripes, these happen to be the one pair of leggings that are not waiting for a wash (again, toddlers with the dirty clothes, sheesh), so it was meant to be. Red stripes for me, blue stripes for her. We look very Americana, like perhaps we should be going to a Fourth of July parade and waving miniature flags in the air.

This shirt was a thrifting score ($4!) from a few weeks ago, when Alexa and I cruised over to Long Beach with Sara. The jeans I found on Friday for $15. I think everything I'm wearing (the sandals you can't see, too) probably comes in at less than $40. I love it when that happens.

I Do It Myself

2012-04-27T22:53:00.002-07:00

^^ That strawberry did not pass her inspection.

For the past few weeks Alexa has been all about feeding herself the "messy" food with the spoon or the fork. As you can guess there isn't much actual feeding going on, more like painting herself with her food. This is all fine at home, where the atmosphere is controlled and I can strip her down to her birthday suit or spray her with a high-pressure water hose. Just kidding. Kinda.

Today I took her out for frozen yogurt after the park. A small amount of strawberry yogurt with some fresh strawberries on top for her, dutch chocolate for me. We sat at the table. No highchairs in this establishment, so Alexa sat in a big girl seat. I scooped up a small amount of yogurt with her spoon and moved it toward her mouth.

"No," she said, shaking her head and holding her hand out for the spoon. She stared me down as if to say, "I DO IT MYSELF." Reluctantly I handed over the spoon and sat back to watch the destruction unfold.

There was yogurt all over the chair, the table, her hair, her clothes. She took turns putting the fresh strawberries on the table and in the cup and in her mouth.

When she was done, I cleaned the chair and table thoroughly. Then I took Alexa to the bathroom, where we washed hands, mouth and face and changed pants (thank god I had the foresight to have an extra pair in the diaper bag). This is just a normal snapshot in the life of a parent of a toddler, I know, but you have to understand something.

I HATE MESSES. And I usually intervene to minimize messes!

So as much as I write this to mark the moment when Alexa decided she wanted to "do it herself," I also mark the day I decided to let her. I didn't try to stop her from getting sticky. I didn't cringe when she got yogurt on her shoes. I even chuckled as I was wiping her down and made up a little cleaning-up song.

Alexa is learning to be a little girl and I'm learning to be patient. It's a long road. And it's going to get messy.

Highly Subjective List of My Favorite Male Rock Vocalists

2012-04-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

I've told you about my novel, right? The simplistic premise is that a desperate fan infiltrates her favorite band to sleep with the lead singer. Now, this lead singer had to be extremely charismatic, of course, someone the reader could fall in love with, too. But as I was creating this character I had to think about his voice.

These are a few of the rock gods I called on in my mind while I was writing this book:

STEVE PERRY

Um, yeah. Raspy, powerful. Who is this Sherry and can I be her?

ROBERT PLANT

Nonchalant, emphatic. Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.

JIM MORRISON

Raw. Sensual. A thick, deep vocal. The Lizard King wants to light your fire.

AXL ROSE

Falsetto rocker, sweet tenor, whistler. Truly gifted vocalist, even better when he's patient.

EDDIE VEDDER

Emotional. Throaty. Many have tried to imitate, but there is only one original.

DAVID BOWIE

Mysterious, ominous even. Theatrical. Put on your red shoes and dance the blues.

Who would make your list of favorite male rock vocalist? Don't be shy ...

The It List

2012-04-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

Five things I'm lovin' right now ...

Elise's line of stamps. My favorite? "That's what she said."
Lollipops and Roses' guide to What to Wear to Sit Around and Do Nothing.
Pop-up art pianos. There is one outside my office building.
Turning a china hutch into toy storage. Julia at Pawleys Island Posh did an inspiring job.
This play kitchen. I want it for Alexa. But let's be honest. I want it for me, too.

See more things I'm lovin' over on Pinterest.

Snapshots

2012-04-24T15:40:00.000-07:00

On my Instagram:

On my playlist: The Psychedelic Furs, The New Pornographers, Belle and Sebastian, The Doors

On my plate: Homemade veggie lasagna. H and I have come up with an amazing concoction here, folks. Perhaps soon I will share the non-recipe recipe on the blog. It's basically a stir-fry-everything-you-have-and-layer-it-between-pasta kind of recipe.

On my Kindle: A Million Suns by Beth Revis. Just uploaded. Can't wait to frexing read this sequel!

On my Netflix: Prison Break. We are obsessed. We finished season one and are on to the next.

On my wish list: Sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep.

On my mind: Worrying about finding enough hours in the day to do the things on my to-do list. Wondering why Instagram photos are so low-res. Wishing I had the energy to give myself a pedicure.

Steppin' Out

2012-04-24T00:13:00.001-07:00

What I'm wearing

Sheer top: Target

Pink tee: Ross

Jeans: Target

Sandals: Payless

What Alexa's wearing

Peacock dress, er, top: Target

Jeggings: Thrifted

Shoes: See Kai Run, gift

What H is wearing

Hat: Thrifted

We are feeling so comfortable in our new home that we did not step out on Saturday until 3 p.m. I think that's a record for us because our little family likes to get out and enjoy the day. Instead we lounged, played "phone" with Alexa, and H even taught her how to climb the staircase, which sent me into a mild panic because it's suddenly becoming too real and omg I guess I should finally buy a baby gate -- as well as sedatives for when her shrill screams of protest try to warp my brain. To clarify, the sedatives would be for me.

Anyway, this is what we wore out for a pizza run and a few stops at some thrift stores. I was on the hunt for some frames to fill my gallery wall, and I was in luck. Came home with several 5x7 frames ... and I have nothing but 8x10 and 4x6 prints. Sigh.

The most notable thing about our outfits this week is that Alexa is wearing a newborn dress as a trapeze top. So rad. I wish it worked that way for adults, but I'm pretty sure a size 0 dress would not make a fetching top for yours truly. Oh well. One can dream.

Photoshoot: 14 Months Old

2012-04-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

Baby girl turned 14 months old on March 28 (yes, this post is late). Each month on the 28th I take a photo of Miss Alexa and her owl to mark her growth because, as everyone likes to remind me, "they're only little for a short while."

Alexa's still wearing 12-18 month clothing. She is starting to work her way into those size 5 shoes (including the white sneakers in the photos). The Easter bunny aka Aunt Sara brought her a pair that she can't get enough of. She's always bringing them up to me, opening and closing the velcro straps. This girl might just love shoes as much as her mama.

Naptime is still a crapshoot. Most days she will hop up immediately and start jumping up and down in her crib. If she takes a morning nap she refuses the afternoon nap and vice versa.

She has TWO TEETH now (bottom middle). There were a few fussy nights, but nothing we didn't expect. She likes to brush her teeth with me. She will watch as I brush, then she puts her toothbrush in her mouth to mimic me. I'm working my way up to getting her to let me brush her teeth for real. She is very particular about wanting to do things her way. I understand; she got this from me.

Alexa is starting to get a little picky when it comes to food. The girl who formerly ate everything is now trying to sneak food off her plate by putting it on the table next to her. The main offenders this month: broccoli, Cheerios, cherry tomatoes. New favorites: grapes, veggie burgers. Old favorite: She can never get enough banana. In fact, she calls for it: "Nana!" If you say, "Alexa, do you want a banana?" she will run to the kitchen and point toward the fruit bowl, saying, "Nana, nana, nana." When she's hungry she says yum, but it comes out "num." Sometimes it even sounds like she's saying "mahna mahna." Hilarious.

Talking. She's learning more and more. She will say "hi" and "bye" if she feels like it. She chatters a lot. I can't wait till I know what she's saying.

We're walking everywhere now. The climbing is starting. She can't get far, but she'll at least put one leg up on something before crying in frustration. She can climb up short steps if I hold one hand for balance. She tried to climb up the slide at the park; speaking of which, she slid down the slide a few hundred times. Loves it. Almost as much as she loves swinging. This girl loves a thrill ride.

On Letting Go

2012-04-19T22:29:00.000-07:00

It's really hard for me to let go of things. Chalk it up to that type A personality. I can't accept certain realities. I always think I'm right. I can be stubborn. I'm disappointed when things do not turn out according to plan. Some would say that this headstrong attitude is a strength.

I happen to think it's my biggest flaw, and this week I've struggled with two things that really highlighted this flaw.

The first thing breaks my heart. This morning we said goodbye to Q, our cat of five years. He is staying with a really sweet lady who is going to try to place him with a new family, one that isn't fraught with allergies. I feel so much guilt over this decision, but it's not why you think. I feel guilty because I was selfish. I didn't want to let him go because I love him, even though staying with us is not in his best interest. I think this new adventure is the absolute best thing for Q. He needs people who are happy -- not apprehensive -- to pet him and cuddle him, whose eyes do not tear up or whose babies do not sneeze when they're in close proximity to him. He needs a family that can dote on him the way he deserves. One that does not just pet him in passing and keep their bedroom doors closed because they have to keep the allergens out.

So after much internal debate I finally let go. I did it. My heart still hurts, but time will heal. And I'll be able to check in to find out how Q is doing in his new digs (which, I admit, makes me feel better).

The second thing is in regards to this blog. I used to be militant about posting every day. Sometimes twice. I had a schedule. I followed it, even when my heart wasn't in the day's "planned" post. I would blog every night after getting home from work and cooking dinner. I would research, edit photos and chat randomly with H but mostly just share space with him without speaking.

The fact that I continued this insane schedule ... is insane. I mean, hello! I work/commute for 10 hours a day and split the rest of my time running errands, tackling chores and spending quality time with my family, with rarely a minute for myself. I would stay up extra late just to get those few minutes of alone time. I was bound to crack.

It started slowly when we moved; I was too busy to breathe let alone blog. But this week I finally let go. I decided that yes, I want to go to the gym after work and detox. I decided that yes, I want to go to sleep early tonight. I decided that yes, I want to watch "Prison Break" with H instead of opening my laptop. And you know something? It was hard. I felt guilty for letting go. But it was also kinda great, I'm not going to lie. Through my little break I realized that this blog is for my thoughts. It's not for meeting some self-imposed post quota. I'm letting go of this rigid schedule and my fixed "features." I'll still run The It List and other features you like, but only when I feel like it.

I hope you understand my more sporadic blogging and still come back to see me. I have met so many great people through this blog, and I would never want to let go of any of you.

Snapshots

2012-04-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

On my Instagram:

On my playlist: Awolnation, Foster the People, The Black Keys, The Temper Trap, Wilco, "Summer Mix" circa 2003

On my stove: Delicious pasta dish inspired by this recipe. I used tapenade instead of tomato pesto because I am one of the only people left on the planet who does not have a food processor.

On my Kindle: Variant by Robison Wells

On my Netflix: Prison Break. We watched the first four episodes last night and we are hooked. Where was I when this was actually on TV?

On my wish list: The Labyrinth soundtrack, preferably on vinyl.

On my mind: Getting ready for H's mom to visit. I've never met my mother-in-law. This is going to be interesting. I'm half excited and half terrified.

Steppin' Out

2012-04-14T22:00:00.002-07:00

What I'm wearing:

Black tee: Old Navy

Maroon sweater: Anthropologie

Jeans: Target (last seen here)

Booties: Thrifted Guess (last seen here)

Sunglasses: Anthropologie

What Alexa's wearing:

Cardigan: LiaMolly for Anthropologie, gift (last seen here)

Black leggings: Target

Bunny slippers: Old Navy, gift (last seen here)

Woah. Who turned on the wind machine and how do we get it to stop? It started yesterday (along with an insane-for-L.A. thunderstorm) and we spent the majority of our Saturday alternately burning up in the sun and freezing our bums off in the shade/wind. Whew. At least there were no tornadoes. Sorry, Midwesterners.

So we had a pretty happening day. First we took our dear friends to the airport for a well-deserved vacation. Afterward we got our caffeine and thrifting fix. These things go together like peas and carrots, don't you know. Then we made a pit stop at the park so Alexa could run free. This might've been the first park trip in which she was really into the experience. She didn't want to get off the swing. And then she didn't want to leave the slide after sliding down it for the first time. I accommodated her obsession and helped her slide a bajillion more times because I, too, am a thrill seeker.

Afterward we ate at Wahoo's and went on a search for a record store. I finally bit the bullet and bought a record player. This is exciting news. When the record player and I met for the first time there were sparks and warm fuzzies. We were so enamored with each other I managed to seduce it all the way home without realizing that it was wearing a chastity belt (aka security alarm that the Target cashier forgot to take off). It was an exciting five minutes watching H kill the alarm with a hammer. But we've since had more fun busting out Dad's old records. Added to the collection today: the hits of the Mamas and Papas (mine) and Gypsy Kings (H's).

Alexa and I were wearing a lot of repeats today. Usually I try to dress us in something we haven't photographed before, but sometimes you just want to be comfortable and wear the Target jeans you've been wearing so long and often that they're fraying. Or, in Alexa's case, you just can't get her to wear shoes that aren't pink with bunny ears.

As you can tell from her face in two out of three of these photos, she was not happy to be picked up. Not at all. This little girl wants to walk everywhere now. No help from Mommy or Daddy, thankyouverymuch.