Little Gray Pixel

Snapshots

2013-05-22T23:33:00.001-07:00

On my Instagram:

On my playlist: Vampire Weekend's new album is on repeat. Also digging Daft Punk's latest, especially Instant Crush. « Listen to it!

On my plate: I can't be 100 percent certain, but I'm pretty sure I will be making Snickers cookies soon. And Thai-style baked sweet potatoes. Mmmm.

On my Kindle: Tell the Wolves I'm Home. I'm really taking my time with this one, but so far so good. It's shaping up to be a bittersweet coming-of-age story.

On my Netflix: I finished "30 Rock." Tears. I haven't been watching much of anything lately. I will tell you that Alexa asked for "Yo Gabba Gabba" this morning, and it is no longer available. WTF, Netflix, WTF?

On my wish list: A magical card that would allow me to buy whatever I wanted from Target ... at no charge. Imagine the possibilities. On a more practical note, these shoes. They have been in my shopping cart for a few days, but I just can't seem to click the trigger. I'm a tightwad.

On my mind: Saving money to buy a house. Tips & tricks are welcome.

Banana Banana Bread (+ Dark Chocolate) Recipe

2013-05-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

I promised you I would tell you about the best banana bread I ever made. I think it would be appropriate for some funky music to play right here, and for Barry White to moan "oh yeah" in that voice of his.

It's that good.

I cannot take credit for this delicious recipe. I found it on Amandeleine's blog.

It's everything I ever wanted in a banana bread: moist, dense, full of flavor. I like that, in Amanda's post, she includes a photo of the bananas she uses. Up till this point in my life I was under the impression that any banana would make a good banana bread. Shame on me. The banana needs to be spotted, dotted and pretty much beyond saving. It needs to look like it's practically rotting. Then it's ready to bathe in brown sugar, butter and decadence.

Speaking of bananas, have you heard that separating them at the stem will help slow down the ripening process? I read somewhere that bananas are susceptible to peer pressure, so if one of them starts to ripen, the rest of them will, too. And if one of them starts to snuggle up to the apples in the fruit bowl, the rest of them will, too. It's a downward spiral from there, and the next thing you know all your bananas will be peeling themselves just for the thrill of it.

Some people go a step further and wrap their banana stems in saran wrap. Or you can just toss the bananas in the fridge. Whatever it takes to stop them from becoming self-aware and rotting.

(There is some science involved here in the form of ethylene gas, but let's not bog ourselves down with logic.)

Anyway.

For the purpose of this banana bread, go ahead and let your bananas canoodle together, stems attached, until they are almost fully rotten.

To take it just past the point of sanity, add little peels of dark chocolate atop your batter and let it do its magic. Mmmm. Can't get enough of your love, babe.

A Week in the Life: 20/52

2013-05-19T22:21:00.002-07:00

There are things that shrouded the past week in a veil of melancholy and malady. First of all, I stumbled along in a haze of sickness, with a lingering cough that just won't go away. A friend from high school died after fighting brain cancer for a year. And, just as funeral services were being planned for this beautiful woman — who as an art teacher only spread color and joy to everyone around her, even up to her very last day via Facebook — it occurred to me that it had been five years since my equally beautiful mother succumbed to the big C.

May is the cruelest month for me and my memories.

And yet. There is color! There is joy! There is happiness everywhere! People wonder why bloggers often talk about the good over the bad. It is because the good is what makes the bad tolerable. Life is full of great moments. We have to dwell on those instead of the fact that one of my co-workers called me Typhoid Mary. (It was a joke, but still. Ouch! For the record, I sanitize obsessively and often.)

It is why everyone smiled through the tears on the day of Jaime's memorial, posting on her Facebook timeline about they would wear color to her funeral because she wouldn't approve of black. And how they went to the Star Trek movie for her, even saving her a seat in memoriam.

It is why, when I look at this week's photos, I do not see an ounce of sadness. Just happy memories that hopefully will outweigh those bad ones.

» My annual Mother's Day pedicure! Afterward I walked over to Coffee Bean and enjoyed an ice-blended chai before reuniting with ...

» The loves of my life.

» She has peculiar taste in hats.

» Sundaes for Sunday.

» People standing on top of the world as the mist rolls in. One day we will climb this rock, too!

» Simple pleasures: Lying on the cool grass beneath a shady tree on a 95-degree day.

» Spiky little cliff flowers.

» No photo editing. It really was this magical to the naked eye.

» Alexa managed to run the length of a football field in the few seconds it took to snap this photo. H had to tackle her in the end zone.

» The days are getting longer. On Monday evening, the hot wind picked up like woah and knocked everything loose in San Pedro.

» Trees make the best patterns.

» Said trees do not like to be confined by sidewalks.

» I stumbled upon the best banana bread recipe. All brown sugar and hell yeah with some dark chocolate melted on top. I'll share later.

» Daddy stayed home sick, but he rallied to help us get ready in the morning.

» Alexa had her first dentist visit after chipping a tooth. There were fearful tears for the next experience, but Mama and Daddy were there, the dentist was calm and Alexa's teeth were declared wonderful.

» Loved the lighting over the fruit in the little store at the office.

» The sun is setting further north, over the mountains, the closer it gets to summer.

» Messing around with the self timer, trying to distract myself from how much it costs to fill up my tank.

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

And now for my book report ...

2013-05-17T00:34:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been three months since I've updated you on my quest to read 50 books.

My last report I was trying to be sexy and winkwink and all that jazz, but this time I'm going to give it to you straight. Exactly what I thought. Knee-jerk reactions. You with me?

The links lead to the full reviews I wrote.

An Abundance of Katherines / John Green » First I had to get past the Diablo Cody-esque characters and the abundance of math equations — and the fact that this book is in no way as good as The Fault in Our Stars. But I did, and I enjoyed this little teen rom-com. Read mostly with my Kindle tucked halfway under my pillow in San Diego on a holiday weekend while waiting for Alexa to finally fall asleep in the hotel room.

Gravity / Melissa West » The premise is so good, you guys. So good. But, as I remarked to H halfway through: "This book has more holes than Swiss cheese." Still, I won't lie. I'll read the next installment. (Hides head.)

The Age of Miracles / Karen Thompson Walker » Put down everything you're doing and read this novel. It is simply amazing. It deserves the slow clap.

Island of the Sequined Love Nun / Christopher Moore » The book starts with a pilot injuring his penis in a freak sex-flight-accident. So you know it's going to be a wild ride. Unfortunately I found myself snoozing in several too-technical-to-care scenes. Mechanics of airplanes? No, thanks. Let's just get back to the fun stuff.

The Dog Stars / Peter Heller » Post-apocalyptic done right. The writing is heavily stylized, so it took a few pages to get used to, but after that it's one tense ride on the other side of a disease that knocked out 99 percent of humans, and the survivors aren't "nice." This book really made me think about humanity and its capacity (or lack thereof) for mercy. One complaint: another pilot, more technical jargon.

Code Name Verity / Elizabeth Wein » I spent the first half of this book sighing and saying, "Really? Like Nazis are going to let a prisoner of war write out her story IN LONG HAND." And more freaking pilots?! Are you kidding me!? That first half dragged. Then I got to the second half, and it got good. Really good. And I finished it fast.

Domestic Violets / Matthew Norman » Matthew Norman and I are simpatico. I dig his writing style, his humor, his story. Every word in this book felt TRUE. So, there. Hemingway would approve. It has a Wonder Boys quality. Wonder Boys the movie, not the Chabon book, which I've not yet read. And now I should be ashamed for admitting that I l~~ove Michael Douglas~~ like a movie that was based on a book that I've not yet read. Anyway. Domestic Violets is great! Read it.

Are You Happy Now? / Richard Babcock » Talk about a despicable protagonist. I actually wanted bad things to happen to this guy. Toward the middle of the book I was pretty sure he should go to jail just for being an unbearable asshole. Then, somehow, my heart melted a little and he changed a little and the ending made up for it all, a little.

Beautiful Ruins / Jess Walter » It has the most brilliant opening line: "The dying actress arrived in his village the only way one could come directly — in a boat that motored into the cover, lurched past the rock jetty, and bumped against the end of the pier." And then, I'm pretty sure I read the first chapter three times because I kept falling asleep on my Kindle waiting for a someone to make a point. When I figured out it was full of interconnecting storylines, I cringed. But the book proved me wrong. It was a grower! A good message, too, if you can see past Hollywood being full of itself. Also — and this really is random — I learned an awful lot about the Donner Party.

Life After Life / Kate Atkinson » I nominated this for my book club. I didn't know it was more than 500 pages long. I forged ahead, thinking it would be some kind of reincarnation narrative about how the protagonist gets to be a ballerina in one life and a sumo wrestler in the next. It is not the book I thought it would be. It is so much better. More choose-your-own-adventure. The characters are very rich, and about halfway through the book I started to care about them deeply. I'm still thinking about this book.

In this list of 10 books, three take place during World War II. Three have protagonists who are pilots. The three best (if I must choose): The Age of Miracles, Domestic Violets, Life After Life. It really is difficult to choose, though, because this is a good crop.

There you have it. I've read 20 out of 50 books so far this year.

What have you been reading? I'm always on the lookout for a good read.

A Week in the Life: 19/52

2013-05-12T21:30:00.001-07:00

I've been around even less than usual lately. Between adjusting to a new work schedule and dealing with a sick toddler (and then a sick me, and now a sick me and H), it's just been a busy few months around here. I hope my weekly photo roundups have painted some picture of what we've been up to, but it doesn't make up for real writing, I know.

Hopefully soon the energy/strength/muse/whathaveyou will come back and you will all be dazzled by my wit and mirth!

Until then ... here's what happened last week.

» We took a scenic drive from Newport Beach south down PCH, where we spied a gorgeous little beach in the Crystal Cove state park. We were not dressed for the beach whatsoever, but when the beach beckons, you answer.

» Even if you're wearing jeans.

» Our starfish are taking over. Watch out.

» A family sitting near us also had a toddler named Alexa. Name twins. This was their handiwork.

» A more perfect SoCal day? I think not. I got my toes (and jeans) wet.

» People were even flying their kites.

» Alexa was happy to play in the sand (as far away from the water as possible).

» While H just wished for his swim shorts so he could catch a delicious wave.

» Watching home movies. There's one of H swinging Alexa around in circles at the beach that always gets laughs out of Alexa. She will watch it over and over again.

» It rained for a few days. I had to turn on my wipers. (Insert sad face here)

» Then it didn't.

» I went to a screening of "The Great Gatsby" at the Academy, where I was scolded for being a tourist with my iPhone. Nothing wrong with being a tourist where you live, people. Channel Beastie Boys here: You gotta fight! For your right! To document your life!

» Coffee break at a new locale. Verdict: Yay on the coffee, nay on the ambiance.

» I'm not sure where exactly this ranks on my list of favorite sunsets, but it's pretty damn high.

» Lack of passion is fatal.

» The jacarandas are in bloom! My favorite part of spring in L.A.

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on Olympus DSLR and iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

I think I saw Patrick Dempsey.

2013-05-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

My colleagues see celebrities all the time in and around our building. It's not a bragging right, really, it's just that this is the nature of where we are situated.

"Ashton Kutcher is in the lobby."

"I shared an elevator with someone from American Idol."

These aren't the best sightings ever, I realize. It's not like someone announced that Michael Douglas* was in the lobby because I would run down 30 flights of stairs if it meant I could bask in his glory or kiss his shoes or whatever you do to show worship to a deity.

In the entire time I've lived in L.A. — and it's getting dangerously close to a decade, friends — H has pointed out several celebrities to me (he used to see them all the time at his former workplace). But I have spied only one celebrity in his natural habitat, walking down Sunset with his entourage: Dave Navarro.

This is only because Dave Navarro is completely unmistakable. There is only one person on Earth who looks like Dave Navarro, and that's Dave Navarro.

Usually I will see people and say, "that looks like _____." But I cannot fully commit to their identity, because it really could just be someone who LOOKS like that famous person. An abundance of doppelgangers, if you please.

And yet, I swear to god. I saw Patrick Dempsey last week.

Right outside the office building, looking like a miniature McDreamy. I say miniature because he was shorter than I imagined, but the Internets confirm that he is not terribly tall. And he is slight of build, also something the Internets confirm. He looked right at me for a tenth of a second, then looked past me, then turned and scurried toward the building, as if looking for someone.

I whispered to a friend, "I think I saw Patrick Dempsey."

"Where?" she asked, following my (maybe-not-so) indiscreet head nod in his general direction. At this point she could only see his back.

She harrumphed. "That's not Patrick Dempsey. Patrick Dempsey doesn't run for anyone."

I can assure you that this man looked exactly like the guy I've had a crush on since "Can't Buy Me Love," but alas, even his Twitter holds no clues to his whereabouts that day. I have no hard evidence, so it will remain a mystery.

*Yes, it's a serious crush.

A Week in the Life: 18/52

2013-05-05T21:06:00.003-07:00

This week I used my DSLR (for more than one photograph) for the first time since we went to San Diego in February. In related news, I have a large volume of photos to share with you this week. If you are one of the three people who are interested in these very self-indulgent posts, be advised that I created a jump on this post to keep the length down. Click on the link for even more Week in the Life excitement. Are you ready? I can hardly contain my enthusiasm. Let's go!

» Post-park, post-frozen yogurt haze. But I know just the thing that will break her out of her funk ...

» Bubbles!

» H's finger in corner: Check. Me awkwardly blowing bubbles after declaring the motorized bubble-blower crap: Check. Alexa loving every second: Check. This might be my favorite pic of the 40 we took.

» Little chipmunk just stuffed her face with sunflower seeds.

» Turkey bacon time, y'all.

» When she was smaller, we could push her lightly and take some really cute photos. Now she's not happy unless she is going supersonic speeds.

» Happy mismatching.

» Proud papa, watching Alexa navigate the playground alone.

» Back and forth between Bee! rocker and Laby-bub! rocker.

» I chalk it up to kids.

» Definitely in my top five Alexa portraits. Love!

» I love these red bottlebrush flowers.

» And, after several months, a car wash.

» Push-ups with Daddy.

» Smile, it confuses people. Better than last week's.

» A package from my artist friend Ian. He is very talented! I've written about his work before here. Check out his latest stuff.

» I bought myself flowers. Just 'cause.

» I hear ya, kid. Why get out of bed, anyway?

» Shorts for a hot, hot day.

» I mean, it was only 9:30 and already 83 degrees.

» Which means that it was perfectly logical to go for a walk with a friend in 90-degree weather. At least there were treats in the middle (including an ice-blended chai from Coffee Bean).

» And we got to see these cute piggy jugs. Sweat was dripping off my forehead, guys. It wasn't pretty.

» And ... it's fire season.

» Baristas working like mad to keep up with the half-price happy hour drinks on Friday.

» The pennies vex me. What to do with them?

» A spectacular red and pink sunset seen from work, probably because of smoke from the fire in Ventura County.

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on Olympus DSLR and iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

Let's go window shopping.

2013-05-03T23:37:00.000-07:00

///one///two///three///four///five///six///seven///

It is hot. More than 90 degrees outside today. It's 11 p.m. and our little window air conditioner is still on. I am avoiding going to sleep because it's hot upstairs. I know, call the wahhh-mbulance.

Or cozy up to your computer and do some virtual window shopping with me. So relaxing, so refreshing, almost as good as an ice cream cone.

Today I went to Modcloth. I haven't been there in awhile, so everything was new to me. It might surprise you that Nos. 4 and 5 are not for Alexa. No! I want a Beatles lunchbox and a map backpack! Although, my favorite thing might be the sailboat blouse despite the fact that the fabric looks to be my mortal enemy (anyone else find that kind of fabric obnoxious?).

Sailboats! Beatles! Random crap!

P.S. This style of sandal is the best.

We've got cows and/or cardboard.

2013-04-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

Twister's hit/miss ratio was unbelievable.

Lately I've been dodging all sorts of crazy objects on the road. In the past few days alone, I have seen a tire in the middle of the freeway, a plastic dry cleaning bag floating American Beauty style, a lone high-heel shoe on a side street, cats, zombie-fied pedestrians who should know better, and, tonight, a large piece of cardboard that flew right at my windshield.

It occurred to me how fitting this road debris is as a metaphor for life in general.

How a lot of the time we try to dodge the obstacles, and thank god a heel didn't puncture our tire. And whew, good job missing that crazy person who is jaywalking across six lanes of traffic.

And then, there it is.

A piece of cardboard — so huge I bet it would make a good playhouse for Alexa — I just can't avoid. Swerving would lead to disaster. Braking would lead to disaster. The only course of action is to go full steam ahead and cross my fingers that I don't end up in a Titanic mess.

I saw it heading toward me, and I rolled down my window in case it clung to the front of my car and obscured my vision. I tried to think a few steps ahead. I hoped the cardboard would pass without incident, that it wouldn't somehow slide inside my wheel well and cause my car to flip. I gripped the wheel tight. My heart was about to burst out of my chest. Just in case I haven't sufficiently set the scene, I was driving 70 mph down a crowded freeway, cars all around! Cue suspenseful music.

The cardboard hit my windshield as expected, then gracefully bounced back and slid under my tires. Du-dunk. Du-dunk. The sound of my tires running over the cardboard. Cleared.

Crisis averted.

There's a lot of road ahead. A lot can happen in a lifetime. The best we can hope for is more misses than hits.

No time like the present to practice your maneuvering, friends.

Five Movies I Want to Live In

2013-04-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait to see The Great Gatsby. I know some people are worried that it will not live up to the novel (do movies ever?), but I have no doubt it will at least be as good as the Robert Redford flick if not better. I mean, just watch the trailer.

The cinematography looks so vibrant. It's one of those movies you just want to crawl inside and walk around. Maybe take a swim in Gatsby's pool and go on a joy ride in one of the 1920s death traps they called cars.

Are there any movies you want to crawl inside of? I can think of at least four others off the top of my head:

Amelie — Everything. Just all of it.

50 First Dates — This movie makes me yearn for Hawaii. It's light and fluffy and happy. Vacay, anyone?

The Sound of Music — The hills are alive with the sound of music. That's all I need to know.

The Beach — Who doesn't want to discover their very own beach, free from the outside world? (I'd cut out all the death and insanity in the second half of the film, though, ahem.)

A Week in the Life: 17/52

2013-04-27T22:24:00.001-07:00

This post could've been done hours ago, but we have a toddler who will not sleep for various reasons, including but not limited to Mama refusing to read yet another story, teething, her room being too warm, and the inability to sleep without pants on. And do not offer her chicken and vegetables to eat, because it is the highest offense and the wailing will cause your ears to bleed.

Where was I? Oh...

» "Oh no! There he is!" Alexa says about every single airplane in the sky, no matter how tiny to the naked eye. This kid can see! (Why "Oh no! There he is!"? I don't know, but it's hilarious, right?)

» Watching her try something new. She asked for help a few seconds later.

» Pretty road on the Hill.

» Bed head.

» Picnic at the beach.

» Seashells were out in full force.

» Little girl was apprehensive for awhile, even with Mama's super sunglasses.

» Feather weather.

» And ... she comes out of her shell just in time to build a sand mountain.

» This week's catchphrase: Trees are poems. Weak! I've seen better.

» Sometimes you just have to covet your friend's lunch.

» Hi.

» A colleague gave me a good fright with this guy. Then I adopted him, and he now guards my important files while I'm away from my desk. True story.

» Alexa pointed out this triangle.

» I wanted to take a picture of the french braids I put in her hair, but she shot off like a bullet.

» Selling only fresh water (24 hrs a day ... unless they are randomly closed) seems like a limited business, no?

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

I could watch that show again.

2013-04-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

Lately my evenings have been booked. If I'm not running to the store to pick up something we're out of, I'm sifting through mail or reading Alexa her third bedtime story. I'm trying to get into the routine of using my elliptical machine before 10 p.m., but let me tell you, I'm tired.

Do you know what helps with motivation? Some comfort TV. Tonight I queued up "30 Rock" on Netflix, and it totally helped me plow my way through my workout. On a side note, this is the first I've watched this series. Why I never watched it while it was on the air is beyond me, because it's simply hilarious.

Also, it is crazy I didn't think of doing this earlier because I used to work out while watching "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Rhoda" on Nick at Nite when I was in high school. The 20-minute running time of a sitcom is perfect, right?

I am already thinking of what I'll watch when I get to the end of "30 Rock."

Seinfeld — Of course! It doesn't hurt that I have every season on DVD, just waiting to be watched.

Dick Van Dyke/Mary Tyler Moore/Rhoda — The trifecta of awesomeness.

Just Shoot Me — I also have this one on DVD.

Rules of Engagement — OK, so I like everything David Spade is in, I admit it.

3rd Rock From the Sun — I loved this show back in the day; I'm curious whether it holds up.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air — Oh, why not?

Boy Meets World — Because I miss it.

The Brady Bunch — It's just so happy.

My Name is Earl or The Office — The first few seasons, before they jumped the shark.

The Patty Duke Show — Identical cousins!

Roseanne — I mean, obviously.

Saved by the Bell — It never gets tired.

That '70s Show — Does it hold up?

Weeds — Until Agrestic burns down.

Will & Grace — Aw, of course.

Dream On — Does anyone else remember this sitcom fondly?

Californication — Because I still haven't watched past the first season. Should I? I'm leaning toward yes. It's David Duchovny, after all.

Edited to add: Scrubs — On par with 30 Rock and Seinfeld. Loved every minute of it.

What would show up on your list of comfort sitcoms?

A Week in the Life: 16/52

2013-04-20T21:21:00.002-07:00

Wow, it seems like all I can manage to post lately are these weekly photos. At least I'm not failing at all of my projects this year! Sixteen weeks in, and I'm really digging gathering my everyday-life photos and thinking back on all the good times over the course of a week.

I do not feel as much pressure as I did last year when I did 365 Days. Some days are just not photo-worthy, and that's fine. I'm pretty sure I took zero photos on Thursday and Friday this week, and if I had they would've been a major snoozefest: me doing a lot of overtime work in Photoshop and InDesign and researching The Canyons, which is a story for a whole different post (but click on that article; it's an amazing read).

» Surfing on her wheels. Every time I see her do this it reminds me of Teen Wolf.

» Here, Daddy, some sugar? (She handed him each sugar packet, then asked for them all back, then did it over again.)

» These claw machines confound me. Has anyone in the history of the world ever managed to snag what they wanted?

» This photo doesn't illustrate it well, but it was a super tight squeeze. L.A. parking spaces, sigh.

» SPONTANEOUS TRIP TO THE ZOO! We have mixed feelings about the zoo. I always feel sad when we see the small enclosures for some animals, but I do appreciate all the conservation efforts.

» Alexa fell in love with the petting zoo, taking her grooming comb to all the sleepy goats, who were so oblivious to her delight. One of the goats wanted to eat my cardigan and kept getting a little frisky, so I had to keep it arm's length.

» We got in line with the plan to get sensible food. It was a plan, anyway.

» I wanted to climb atop this elephant, but H and Alexa were hoofin' it to the next exhibit.

» I've said it before and I'll say it again: giraffes are aliens. (I should note: Alexa was never in harm's way. This looks like a tiny ledge, but it was rather large and further back from the enclosure than it appears, and H sat her there for a split second so I could snap a shot. And, for the record, we would never ever do this anywhere near a predatory animal.)

» Even though she did want to climb in with the zebras.

» Can you blame her? They're black and white and striped all over.

» Alpha male staredown. This dude growled at H and kept a close eye on him as we walked past.

» Sunday morning snuggles.

» The color was so vivid. I did no post-processing on this.

» This week's sign: It's just art.

» You can't see it in this photo, but there's a rooftop that has the words "HELP US" written on top. So curious about that. Left over from a film shoot?

» Worst. Advertising. Ever. I can't even.

» I don't know what worries me more: that I was too tired to focus on my feet instead of my bag or that these shoes make me look pigeon-toed.

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

Counting

2013-04-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

There we were, four generations on Facetime: me, Alexa and H staring at my dad and my grandmother on the other line. We are trying to coax Alexa into talking. In typical fashion, she has turned her head away from the the phone, shying away at first until she gets used to seeing the new faces.

"Can you count to 10?" I ask.

"One, two, two, two, three, four ..."

And she gets distracted and messes around for a little bit, making sure the corresponding fingers are extended for each number. She finished with "ten." Then, magic.

"Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen! Eighty-ninety-twenty!"

H and I showered her in accolades. This little girl is learning her numbers, and even though we've recited them to her a million times, this is the first time we've heard them from her lips, each number accentuated with enthusiasm (those exclamation marks are true to life).

Every day I make animal sounds, I sing the alphabet, I help draw letters, I count numbers.

And then I think about counting adult numbers, which is far less satisfying.

I count the teensy bit of time I get to spend with Alexa in the morning before we leave. The amount of time it takes me to get to work. The far-too-many hours I spend at work. The time it takes me to get home every night. The too-few hours that are left for me to pursue my creative outlets. The too-few hours that are left for me to sleep.

I count gas mileage and prices, the cost of living, how quickly the price of milk has skyrocketed.

This is one of the seasons in my life in which I feel more discontent than I should. Here I am, torn between time with my family and time at my job. At odds with my ridiculous commute and, yet, my love for L.A. Still in search of the perfect place to live, yet finding the ideal impossible to come by. Struggling with my writing muse because it comes while I'm driving, and by the time I make it home my brain is fried and I'm too tired to even update this blog, let alone write a novel.

I hesitate to write about this. I always worry how I will come across. Whiny, angry, jaded.

Maybe all of the above.

Don't get me wrong. I do count my blessings, too. In fact, I often push aside the calculator and focus solely on the simple arithmetic of blessings (exhibit A). But this is reality. I want so desperately to quit doing all this hard math. I want it to come easily. I want to wake up one day, my brain clear and voila! The answer! My magic moment.

"Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen! Eighty-ninety-twenty!"

If Alexa can find the numbers, so can I. Fingers and toes crossed.

A Week in the Life: 15/52

2013-04-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

» Watching the Shockers in the Final Four. Sadly, a heartbreaker. But! We made it to the Final Four!

» The mess Alexa made while Daddy and I were distracted by the basketball game.

» Mommy-daughter date to the park and for frozen yogurt. Lots of smiles.

» No fewer than three children tried to steal our globe bouncy ball. Can't say I blame 'em.

» Chocolate, plus toppings picked by Miss Lexa herself: strawberries, grapes, marshmallows.

» LACMA has the best spots for work breaks.

» Iced coffee. I finally figured out the perfect, not-too-sweet formula.

» Peek-a-boo morning fun.

» Powerball billboards everywhere.

» "Picture?"

» Row, row, row your boat. So awesome to see her playing in the laundry basket just like I remember doing when I was a kid.

» She brings this guy into my bed first thing in the morning and says, "Frog hugs?"

» I've been taking lunch break walks. Here are a few images from one.

» Springtime colors.

» A stroll past the Tar Pits.

» Nothing is certain but ... death and taxes.

» Cuties in the folk art museum window.

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

Snapshots

2013-04-11T23:28:00.002-07:00

On my Instagram:

On my playlist: I've been alternating between the new Strokes album and The Cars' greatest hits. This song and video are giving me serious flashbacks.

On my plate: Guys, I don't know what has happened to me. For one, I don't usually even like chips that much. Two, I'm not a savory-cravings person. But I made the best nacho mountain the other day, and it was everything I craved it would be.

On my Kindle: I'm reading "Are You Happy Now," which has a terrible protagonist. I can't decide whether I hate him or feel sorry for him. I'm waiting for him to hit rock bottom and/or redeem himself. I'm pretty sure it can't end well for him, though.

On my Netflix: I'm binging on "30 Rock." Can't believe I never watched this show before. Hilarious!

On my wish list: Inexpensive plane tickets. Is there such a thing anymore?

On my mind: Brainstorming ways to get more veggies in Alexa's diet. The ones on her plate go untouched. Unless they come pureed in a cleverly packaged pouch, drowned in the overwhelming flavor of fruit, she is just. not. interested. Help!

Sarcasm punctuation might be the most genius thing ever. And no, that's not sarcasm.

2013-04-09T22:52:00.001-07:00

A friend told me about some hilarious new punctuation, and after hearing about the "sarcastises," I promptly downloaded the font and had some fun.

I couldn't quit without trying out the "mockwotation" marks.

In all seriousness, I could use both of those all day every day. My No. 1 pet peeve for texting/messaging/emailing/blogging is that I worry my sarcasm will be misconstrued. There are only so many winky faces and misused exclamation marks a person can use and still be able to sleep at night! ;-)

Speaking of emoticons, I would love to add one that denoted the laugh-cry. You know, that emotion when you start out laughing halfheartedly until you realize how sad and pathetic and hopeless the situation is, and you melt into crying. If I had my way, it would look like the Thalia and Melpomene masks.

Is there a made-up punctuation or emoticon you wish you could create?

A Week in the Life: 14/52

2013-04-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

» Before & After: Finally, a haircut. I thought I wanted long hair, but I thought wrong.

» It was a lot of hair.

» Horses on the Hill. I mostly took this photo for Alexa's sake.

» H and I went to the Staples Center to see my alma mater (Wichita State) play in the Elite Eight against Ohio State. We won to advance to the Final Four for the first time since 1965.

» Shockers cheering section. It got pretty exciting.

» The Easter bunny stayed up late to boil eggs and, lacking dye, washi-taped the eggs instead. Bonus: It was easier to peel them later, using the tape to unravel the shell.

» Alexa's basket of fun.

» Playing with her magnetic fishing pole puzzle. A big hit. Good job, Easter Bunny!

» A quick recharge at the blustery beach.

» Monday lunchtime picnic outside. Such a gorgeous day.

» Shame on you.

» The Keymaster.

» Blank billboard, a rarity in L.A.

» Doodling.

» She loves to play cars with her friends at daycare.

» Wrestling match with Daddy. Alexa wins!

» The biggest starfruit I've ever seen in my life.

» A midafternoon pick-me-up on Friday at a neighborhood coffee shop. Love the little vases on the wall.

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

Let's Go Window Shopping

2013-04-06T01:04:00.001-07:00

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This past month has been crazy at work. I had every intention of writing a real post tonight, but I needed to zone out and add things to my wish list, what I consider to be the virtual equivalent of going to the mall and wandering around while nursing an iced coffee (or, if I feel like channeling my 13-year-old self, an Orange Julius).

Tonight's target: Etsy. Oh, my Etsy friends, we meet again. And you are looking mighty fine in black and white and green. It wasn't my intention to color-coordinate; it was subconscious just like the constant matching I do with Alexa every morning. Speaking of Alexa, I couldn't go window shopping without picking up a few items for her: the Rock, Paper, Scissors print, the star pillow and the painted village. For mommy, some jewelry, washi tape and a painting. It's high time I start wearing earrings again now that Alexa no longer yanks at shiny objects around my face ... fingers crossed.

Feel the stress melt away? Awwwwww. That's nice!

What are you window shopping lately?

There's a Reason They're Called Unicorns

2013-04-03T22:57:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to my fresh hell. It's called My Horse.

This app, known to Alexa as "Horsie," seemed innocent enough. Lots of things to learn. How to feed the horse, how to take care of it, performing tasks to earn gold coins. These gold coins can be used to buy new horses or a field in Hawaii. Alexa is pretty obsessed with buying new horses.

They can be pricy, though. Alexa wants unicorns, for example, which are approximately 5,304,349 gold coins. Or something. Basically, you can never accumulate enough gold coins to purchase a unicorn. That's what makes them unicorns. Because they're unattainable.

But guess what! For just $4.99 (in real-life money), you can procure thousands of gold coins. Alexa figured this out today, and she bought them. H, sitting nearby, was none the wiser. I, sitting at work, received an email about my "purchase."

Unicorns for everyone!

Parental locks for Alexa on all devices!

Listen & Look: Foxygen

2013-04-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

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Something about Foxygen reminds me of The Velvet Underground. Like you should be sitting in a dark room with Andy Warhol paintings. There should be a black light. And everyone should be wearing sunglasses and looking as cool as Nico.

And, perhaps, this scenario should be taking place in San Francisco.

What I Learned Weeks 2-3 on the Paleo Diet

2013-04-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

I lasted a little more than half a month before deciding that this diet wasn't agreeing with me. I am a Whole30 failure. I was a little scared to come on here and admit to it, but you know what? It's the truth, and I should share what I've learned.

Life is too short to go without creamer in my coffee. It's too short to go without a piece of toast. It's too short to be constantly tired and pissy. I kept waiting for the fog to lift like all the testimonials said it would. On Day 9 I thought it was. I was thinking, "Oh, I'm starting to feel a little more normal." Then I woke up feeling like Medusa on Day 10. Let me put this clearly. Eating this way was making me a crazy, snappy, mean person with snakes in her hair. Days went by. Day 15, Day 16. Still Medusa.

H and I lasted about the same amount of time before buckling. He started a few days before I did and finished a few days before I did. He relayed how he felt so much better after allowing himself to eat a biscuit, and I was so jealous. I started to whimper when I thought about eating another chunk of meat. I'm just not a huge meat eater, which is why it was so much easier to go pescatarian than to go grainless.

So I said to hell with it, and I ate all the things!

Not really. We made a pizza, and I ate two pieces.

Then I stopped.

I didn't make it 30 days going full paleo. But I learned a thing or two about moderation.

Here's my plan going forward: One or two servings a day of grains/dairy. The majority of my diet will still come from vegetables/fruits/proteins/fats. I'm just no longer interested in denying myself an iced coffee or a sandwich or yogurt.

Life is too short!

A Week in the Life: 13/52

2013-03-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

» Chocolate milk! (While we drink coffee.)

» Gotta love the weather app.

» Up and down this slide. Alexa ran into her first playground bully (an older kid who refused to let her pass), and I helped her stand her ground. No bullies!

» It's been a long time since we've done a Steppin' Out post, eh?

» Boat watching and airplane spotting.

» Inadvertent matching.

» Playing soccer with a volleyball.

» Good evening, L.A.

» Yes, it has. On a lunchtime walk.

» Not stepping on the crack.

» Toy explosion.

» Yay! Loving this, especially "Chances" and "Welcome to Japan." The only track I'm not fond of: "50/50."

» "Mama, take picture?"

» Best shoe purchase I've made in a long time.

» These flowers smell so good.

» Yellow flats! They pinch a little, but I can tolerate it because they're yellow flats!

» I open the door to greet Alexa, and she says, "Gooooood morning!"

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.

Would you ever go to Iceland?

2013-03-25T21:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Annie recently took a trip to Reykjavik, a destination far-removed from what I'd usually yearn for (i.e. beaches and tropics and Greece) so I wasn't sure it would be for me. I mean, it's cold, right? And scarcely populated. I think there are fewer people in the entire country than there are in my hometown of Wichita, Kan.

But she mentioned the hot springs. And the northern lights. And Skogafoss.

And a text with this picture and the words "MAGICAL HORSES!"

OK, she got me. I have a huge case of wanderlust for Iceland now. Every photo she sent me looked like an album cover. For Of Monsters and Men, maybe.

When she returned, she brought the most amazing candy. It tasted like chocolate-covered Fruit Loops. I'd go to Iceland right now just to try all the candy.

The seafood and coffee are spectacular, as well. And there is free wifi everywhere, which is important when you need to text your friends gorgeous photos to make them jealous. It worked, Annie. Boy, did it work.

I should warn you that she got snowed in one day. But live music at the cozy hotel bar doesn't sound too shabby to me.

Have I sold you on it, too? Would you go to Iceland? Why or why not?

A Week in the Life: 12/52

2013-03-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

» Unfortunately the bag of chips did not get any love from paleo-eating us.

» Demonstrating a dance from "Yo Gabba Gabba."

» Have I always had this many freckles?

» It's springtime!

» Dark vs. light.

» Paleo shepherd's pie for St. Patrick's Day. H and I joined cooking efforts to create this hearty, delicious dish.

» Speaking of St. Paddy's Day, I spy a shamrock.

» One little monkey jumping on the bed (under close supervision).

» New shades after my other pair dismantled itself. No, I'm not joking. I can't figure out how it came apart.

» Emergency! Hungry toddler, baby food aisle.

» H's haircut instructions: "Take it all off."

» Mid-haircut check. I left him some hair. And it turned out to be a pretty nifty cut, if I do say so myself!

» This might be one of the grainiest photos I've ever posted on this blog, but I adore it so much. My sweetheart is posing for her "pit-chure!"

» The condo complex just reeks of spring. I love it. Nighttime is particularly stinky. Mmmm.

» "Bye-bye, Mama!" she said when I waved goodbye at the babysitter's.

» Spotted at a stoplight: Posters for The Strokes' new album! It's coming on Tuesday!

» I'm surprised I managed to take all the other photos this week considering this was my view 90 percent of my waking hours. (The keyboard and desk, not necessarily the salad, even though the salad was wonderful.)

*This is a weekly project inspired by Shutterbean. Shot on iPhone this week. See past weeks here.