The Life and Times of RevRee

I'm Gonna TWEET the crap out of you!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 14:37:00 +0000

Ladies and Gentlemen... I am pleased to announce that

The Life & Times of RevRee has now moved over to the twitter atmosphere! Although I can honestly tell you I have no idea why the hell I'm going over there or what the heck is with all the #hash tags and @signs...but I'm up for a new challenge, eager to learn new things and ready to take on the social media world. I hope this move will help me better communication with my loyal follower(s) (If you're all still alive?!)

Please join me... err I mean follow me @RevReee (I think that's my username???) This is going to be fun, we'll do this together...I promise I'll do my best to make you laugh, shock you, put you in awe and amaze you with The Life & Times of RevRee, now on TWITTER @RevReee Be there or you’re so not cool!!!!

P.S. as you can see if you look to your right, I've added a button for easy access to my twitter page. Simply click and the internets will do the rest. Of course you'll have to actually follow me once you get to my page...but I'm sure you're smart enough for all that! LOVES!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 20:22:00 +0000

I'm in pieces. I will return when I've put myself back together.

Life is a highway...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:18:00 +0000

So the other day, I was driving home to see my parents and my sister was riding along with me in the passenger side.

As we're driving down the road, rocking out to a mega mix CD I had put together, all of a sudden a car begins to pass us... Just as this car is about to pass, me and my sister both turn to look to see who's in the car.

You know how it is... comon, everyone does it! It's almost impossible NOT to look to see who that mysterious person in the other automobile is.

So anyway, we both turn simultaneously to get a quick peek. This is when it all got really strange, really fast....

Now, I wasn't able to peek for very long, as I had to keep my eyes on the road. BUT, my sister she took a long peek....it was more like a constant stare...the dude in the car seem to have forgotten about the road because he was staring right back at her.

Like I said, this is when it got really weird. This staring contest in turn triggered an instant attraction between my sister and the mysteriously hot driver. Causing them to have super quick interstate sex...or as some like to call a quick mental highway fuck.

Let me try to explain...This is when two people look deep into the eyes of the other person, on the highway or interstate, while driving or riding in separate vehicles, either while passing each other or following one another... sending both parties in to a sudden hypnotic trance of some sort. This is turn causes an arousal that can't be explained. Sometimes, I've heard that even a slight orgasm can take place in seconds.

I swear I always thought it was a myth, but honest to god, I witnessed it this past weekend.

It was all so fast that I had no time to react. By the time this quick emotional, mental highway fuck was over, I couldn't even look at my sister.

I simply said "what was that?"

She says "I think I just had highway sex with that guy..."

Honest to god, a true story...

Ice War of 2007

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 22:08:00 +0000

My friends, I only have a slight moment to send you this message from the front lines. I am safe. The power is out, there's no heat.

I haven't had a shower since Sunday night...(which was only actually a half shower as the power went out while cleaning myself.)

Don't worry, I'm using lots of body splash and I'm wearing a hat to cover the hot mess of hair I have going on right now. I've also changed my panties every day, so I'm kinda fresh...

The nights have been rough, as I've been sleeping alone in my bed with 100 blankets over the top of me. That's the hardest time of the day... laying there, shivering, my body slowly going numb, as all the thought of dead trees run around in my head overwhelm me and I feel powerless.

Shit, I gotta go, the ice is back!!!!! AAHhhhhhhhhhh

Tell my mother I love her!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 23:41:00 +0000

Hello lovely blogging friends. I wanted to first tell you that I had an amazing time helping out at the homeless shelter last week for Thanksgiving.

Although it wasn't like anything I had expected, it was a very humbling and truly interesting experience. I wish that I could go in to great detail about how everything went, but I kind of had a few glasses of wine at a friends house before making my way over to the Mission.

Is that bad of me? I mean, should I feel guilty for having a little something to drink prior to showing up? Should I consider myself a hypocrite for arriving to help with the street dwellers smelling of boxed wine?

LISTEN! it was a stressful day, I was kinda nervous and I needed to relax...

I will tell you this, there were WAY to many people volunteering that night. I felt like I was in some type of "Good Samaritan competition" reality show. Those people were really kinda pushy and if you're a newbie as I was to the whole volunteering thing, they don't even acknowledge you exists. I'm not saying that weren't nice or that they didn't care...in fact I think they cared quite a bit...maybe a little too much, if you know what I mean...

ANYWAY! The really inspiring and touching part was the people we were there to help and serve. They were amazing, so grateful, very kind and super hungry. I really wish we could have served them better food. The food looked kind of crappy and not very tasty. Which is alright, I just wish I had more money, I'd be making all of them some really tasty, healthy, amazing food to eat!

One day when I'm independently wealthy, I'll start my own Soup Kitchen and make really good food for everyone to enjoy! I'll call my place "Dinner's on me"!

Thanksgiving Dinner, Homeless Style!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:00:00 +0000

Hello my dear blogging friends!

I have an important announcement, there will be no big announcement as I first told you about a few months ago. Sadly, the entire plan fell through and I am still stuck in HELL. Needless to say, I'm working on my next plan of escape and I will keep you up to date as often as possible.

ANYWAY, because I'm still stuck here and I'm not able to go home and visit family for Thanksgiving, I've decided to make the best of things while I'm here.

You should all be very proud of me as I'm going to go help the less fortunate people on earth (aka) Homeless folk, and work at a Mission/Soup Kitchen on Thanksgiving day!

I know, it's so exciting! I mean, I can't wait to write about my entire experience on my blog once I get back! Just think of all the pictures I can take with my camera phone of hungry dirty homeless people!

I mean....*cough* ummm NOT that that's why I'm volunteering my precious time to these people. Of course I want to help them, show some love and compassion towards these street dwellers.

I do however have a few questions that I'd like to ask the Mission/Soup Kitchen staff once I get there. So I've put together a list of very important questions that I will be presenting to the staff leader once I enter the world of homelessness.

#1 Will I have to touch the homeless people?

#2 Will I be speaking to any crazy old people?

#3 Will there be hand sanitizer handy at all times or do I need to bring my own?

#4 What if I get the HIV while serving mashed potatoes?

#5 Can I wear rubber gloves when greeting our guests?

#6 Am I allowed to take some of the food home with me?

#7 Will there be names drawn for prizes throughout the night and may I participate?

#8 Is it alright if I bring some vodka and orange juice for myself?

#9 Will I be getting a 15 minute break at some point during the evening?

#10 Will I be expected to stick around after to help clean up or will the honeless people be doing that?

Alright, enough crazy talk! In all seriousness people, I am very honored and humbled to have the opportunity to help and serve people during the Holidays.

This is honestly something that I've wanted to do for a very long time and I hope that I'll be able to make some people smile and give a little hope on Thursday. I'll let you know how it goes!

Listen everyone, be safe and have a great Thanksgiving!

How the fight started...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:00:00 +0000

I rear-ended a car this morning. I'm alright folks, I promise!

Anyway, we pulled off to the side of the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car I "accidentally" hit .

You know how it is after a car accident....you just get soooo freaking' stressed, all of a sudden tears start to well-up in your eyes and all at the same time everything seems to become a little funny...

What, that doesn't happen to you? Oh...

Moving on...

You will NOT believe what I saw next! The dude gets out of his car I get out of mine and seriously people, I kid you not, he was a DWARF!!! I'm talkin' like three foot four or something like that, maybe even shorter... hmmm makes me wonder about the size of his....

OK, Ok, I won't go there!

I'll admit, it took everything I had not to burst out laughing. I mean, a DWARF, really?

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Anyway, the garden gnome storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?" and....I start laughing my ass off!

BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

He kicked me in my ovaries and that's, that's when the fight started....

SMILE

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:44:00 +0000

Recently the majority of my blog posts have had something to do with my breasts or someone else's. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea about me and think that all I every talk about are boobs. Alright, maybe it SEEMS that way...but, I promise you there's more to me then just my amazing breasts and my slight obsession with them...

*cough*

Soooo, I thought it might be fun to let you all know a little bit more about me. This time we're going to talk about things that make me smile.

Simple things really. As I've said many times, I'm very easily amused and it doesn't take much to make me smile.

So, what makes RevRee smile, you ask? Well, let's get started!

I love watching people dance. Yes, I love to dance as well. But, my favorite part about dancing is watching the people around me. I love seeing the smile on people's faces, the total lack of self consciousness and completely letting go of their inhibitions and just having fun. It's really a cliches to say this, but I believe it's true that everyone dances to a different beat...their beat. That, is awesome in my book! Dance on!

I smile when I discover a new song. You know how it is, when you're downloading random music illegally, via the internets and you come across this amazing song. Sometimes it's a new song, sometimes it's an old song. Either way, every single time this happens, a smile come across my face. Usually I'll obsess about this song for a few days, upload it to my ipod, burn a CD, put it on my myspace acct., you know, the norm. Anyway, I'll attempt to share this new amazing tune with as many people as possible, even the bum on the street. I feel as though I'm sharing a little piece of joy to the world and it makes me happy.

I honestly, truly enjoy going to the greeting card section in most stores and browsing for that one card with the perfect, deep, insightful phrases and pictures on them. Now, some of you, if not most of you will think I've totally lost my mind and the fact that I enjoy browsing the greeting card section at Walgreens is pretty lame. Well, have you tried it??? HAVE YOU? One of my best friends made fun of me for years, up until the day I took her along to join me at Hallmark to brows for clever cards. She had a blast and now, she's a believer! You will be too once you try it...I promise...

I absolutely love Chinese Orange Chicken! There's something about that sweet, tangy, crispy, succulent chicken! Mmmmmm, drool, drool! Whenever I go to a Chinese restaurant, because I like to always broaden my horizon I try to pick something new...but, it's truly hard for me not pick the wonderful orange chicken.

I'm a fan of HALO. When I say fan, I really mean HUGE fan! Alright, alright, I absolutely love HALO!!! One of my best friends got me hooked on this game. At one point every night after work, we would head over to his place, play HALO and drink until the early hours of the morning. This went on for about 2 years straight. It may sound totally lame that we did this for almost 2 years...but I really believe HALO changed my life. Now, if I could simply find a way to get an XBox 360 and HALO III with out having to pay, that would be awesome!

Breast Awareness

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:47:00 +0000

Folks, it's once again Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Ok, so actually that was back in October...BUT I still wanted to talk about the importance of Breasts and that everyone should be completely aware.

Last year I wrote a post about how we should all love the breasts and pay special close attention to them especially during this time of year.

I would encourage each and everyone one of you to take the time to give someone you care about a thorough breast exam.

Now let me first say, that I by no mean am any type of health care professional and anything I say is strictly my own personal ideas and should not be taken seriously. In other words, I'm full of crap... and, I'm a weirdo...

With that being said, I've created a few guidelines to follow when giving the proper breast exam. My boyfriend is actually the professional one on this. Although he doesn't have a PhD nor any heath care professional license either. But, he sure does know how to give a amazing, completely thorough breast exam.

(He does this thing with his fingers. Oh sweet lord have mercy! I actually wish I could share a video clip of this method as it would really demonstrate the effects it has. But, unfortunately, he has the videos and says they're under lock and key...)

ANYWAY...

Make sure you're wearing an amazing push-up bra when your exam begins. This will help with the perfect cleavage you're attempting to create. (if you're flat chested, water filled bra cups work wonders for cleavage) This way the person giving the "run over" can admire their beauty. This will surely help them focus on the task at hand so they can give it their best effort.

Make sure the person giving the exam has washed and dried their hands. You only want clean hands and fingers touching this delicate area. (Unless you're into dirty, filthy finger and hand prints all over your delicate boobies)
This procedure is best orchestrated on the couch or at least while both parties are in the upright position. One of my personal favorites, is if the person giving the exam stands behind you while you lean back against them resting your body against the other persons chest. This technique works best if you're standing in front of a mirror. It will make it easier for you to watch where they put their fingers and hands so you can direct them to the areas that you feel need to be examined.
Please don't attempt to try this while at a dinner with family members present. Especially if it's the other persons parents. Don't try an exam while driving in the car. Don't try this on the waitress at hooters, or the bartender at the bar. Co-workers are off limits, UNLESS you can guarantee the co-worker wants it. Which still could be risky... I wouldn't suggest it...

I know I talk about cleavage and breasts a LOT on my blog. Maybe some of you might even think I'm slightly obsessed. Alright, so maybe I am...so what? Shudup!

P.S. I was going to post a few pictures of a wonderful variety of breasts, but I didn't think any of you wanted to see more boobies....

I think my boss is Satan...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 01:05:00 +0000

My sweet blogging friends, It's Halloween time! In celebration if this "scary" holiday, I've decided to make a list of the signs you should be on the look out for when dealing with your boss during this occasion.

As some of you already know, I'm not a big fan of my current boss...ok, OK, actually I hate him. ALRIGHT hate is a pretty harsh word... how about totally, 100% dislike him?

So anyway, I've put together a list of thing each and every one of of should be on the look out for. Even if you like your boss. It's been said that sometimes an angel of Dark will disguise itself as an angel of Light.

Beware!!!

10. Leaves cloven hoof marks burned into the carpet when he stands in one place long enough...

9. He makes you write your emails in COBOL

8. He is referred to as "Lucifer" on all email headings and on IM...

7. The eerie chanting that you hear coming from his office when the door is closed...

6. The virgin sacrifices in the conference room...

5. The black robe hanging in the corner of his office...

4. His long black fingernails...

3. At your last evaluation, not only did you NOT get a raise, he also gives you a receipt for your soul...

2. When he raise his voice, even on a bright and sunny day, lightning strikes and thunder rolls...

1. Made you sign a non-disclosure agreement in Blood

BOO!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 23:13:00 +0000

Bloggers, I'm real sorry that I haven't been updating my blog to your liking. Things for me have been pretty uneventful and very boring. So much so, that I fear I've fallen in to a slight depression...

I honestly don't have a lot going on in my life at this time. I will be honest with you though, I think it has to do with the fact that I hate my job and I hate this god forsaken town and I want out.

When I lived back in my home state, I had things going on in my life, I had stories to tell, people to talk to I'd go out with friends all the time. This sucks!

Sometimes I just wanna give up and go back home so my momma can give me a big hug and tell me everything will be alright. I miss her hugs.

But alas, I am here and will remain here until I find a way out. This is where my big announcement was going to come in to play. I had applied for a very, very prestigious job in a much bigger market and I had been asked to interview with them.

This is not an opportunity that comes along everyday. So, hell yeah I went to the interview! I mean, who refuses a free plane ride, hotel and free food? No one

Anyway, it's been well over a month since I had my big chance (interview). I've gotten one email telling me that "the position is still open, they are still doing some research/paper work and they will be in touch." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN???

Seriously, I feel like I'm being led on like a giddy, innocent freshman girl in high school and the jokes on her HA HA HA! I mean, would it be so hard for them to simply tell me if I got the job or not? At least if I knew I didn't get the job I could start taking action with plan B.

I think part of the problem is that I honestly don't like the city I live in. I don't like my boss, actually I hate him. But as "they" say "he who angers you, controls you". So, I can't allow that to happen. I can't allow him to have any control over me. I will fight, I must!

I will not give up! I refuse to give up and let the "man" win! I'm a grown ass, independent, professional, woman and I will prevail!!! Can I get an AMEN!!!

Well, ok, ok! Maybe I'm overreacting a bit. I mean, I am at the end of my menstrual cycle and I could just simply be overly emotional, paranoid and slightly aroused...

Stop looking at me like that!

Last night I died...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 13:00:00 +0000

Hello my dear blogging friends. Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real that part of you secretly thought it really did happen? The vividness of it all still so clear in your head that you can't seem to get it out of your mind.

Well, a few months ago I had one of those dreams. It's really quite a disturbing dream I had. Some might even call it a nightmare or maybe even a hallucination. I honestly don't know what it was. But it freaked the shit out of me.

Before I tell the story of my dream, please know that some of the descriptions of my dream might not be suitable for all audiences., therefore viewer discretion is advised.

It all begins with me walking down the street of the campus of my old college. As I'm walking, I see a guy who I once knew while in college. His name was Mel...Melvin! Like who in the world would name their child Melvin???

***

A little real-life back story on Mel... See, Mel was a shady kinda kid. He was a year or two behind me, he grew up in the other side of the tracks and thought he was Gods gift to women and men alike and he was a compulsive liar.

He also thought that one day he would make it big as a radio DJ... He dressed in dirty wife beaters, baggy jeans and a cigarette in the back of his ear. For some reason, the also thought he was "Black" Whenever he would see me, he would grab me, lift me up and give me this huge bear hug and say "what up boo!"

This upset me out every time...But, I was stupid back then and was way to sweet to say "Listen pal, keep your filthy hands off me!"

He's also the guy who stole every single CD from the college radio station we both worked at and pawned them off for cash. Only to be found out by ME! I then made him go and purchase them all, every single fuckin' one of them again. To this day that still astonishes me, seriously!

***

Anyway, back to my fucked up dream...

I'm walking on campus, it's present day. I'm back at college for something, but I have no idea what. All of a sudden, Mel walks past me. He stops and says "RevRee?!!" I turn and say..."yesss....?" Just as I say yes, in my mind I'm thinking, "Holy shit, it's MEL!"

He laughs, grabs me and gives me a huge hug. I of course, because it's a fucked up dream, don't do anything but smile. He then continues to say something about him being there waiting for his "fiancee" to get finished with class. He also mentions how she's like 17 and super smart!

Because I'm such a sweet gracious person, I simply smile and ask how he's been. Just as he's about to get in to what he's been doing for the last 8 years, this little blond chick comes walking up. (she obviously isn't really a Blondie) As she walks up, Mel grabs her, puts his arm around her like it's his pride and joy, smiling, saying..."THIS, is my girl! This is Shanda!"

I smile, she smiles pleasantly we shake hands.

I finally get a word in and say that I need to be getting on my way. We say our goodbyes and part ways.

The next thing I know, I'm walking to my car and someone grabs me from behind putting a sack over my head and shoving me into a van! I have no time to react it was like lightning fast!

Suddenly I wake up and hear two people talking in the front seat. I attempt to sit up and hear someone say "But, she's so nice, we can't do this. Let's just drop her off at the next corner" I'm extremely confused at this time, and I'm thinking to myself, "FUCK"

Then I hear a male voice say, "No baby, this is the way it needs to be. If she does what we want, no one will get hurt" This time I actually say out loud "FUCK!" they turn around and see that I'm awake. Just as they turn their heads, I see that it's that slimy MEL and his childlike girlfriend! He says "well, hello there girl! sup?"

I'm speechless... (you know like in those dreams where no words come out of your mouth. You try, but nothing escapes) My mouth opens, but nothing. This really frustrates me as I hear him laugh. "Awww Rev, girl you tryin to talk? See, that's not gonna happen, cuz Shanda there gave you this new drug that takes your voice. You won't be able to speak for ohh, 5-6 hours max"

Just then, he stops the van and He turns his head again and says smiling, "Now we're gonna go have a nice meal here at White Castle. We'll be back in 20-30 minutes. You just sit tight...you want anything?....HAHAHAHHAAH" They get out of the van, shut the doors and walk inside.

My mind is going a million miles a minute. I somehow am able to bend and twist my body in to ways I never thought were possible and get right out of the handcuffs and duct tape. I figure out how to kick out one of the side windows to the van. This must have taken me 10-15 minutes, only leaving me like 5 minutes to actually get out and RUN!!!!! AHHHhhhhHHhhh

Just as my body falls to the ground, my face hitting the pavement, I see Mels feet...FUCK!!!

I quickly stand up as he says "Whatcha doin there boo?" I slowly look up at him, anger piercing from my eyes. He smiles, I raise my hands and bitch slap the mofo to the ground and RUN!!!

I hear the girl scream out his name, then I hear a gun shot. I feel something hit me, but I keep running... Then another shot, BANG! This time it hurts a little more and it starts to make me slow down.

At this point in my dream, I can feel myself slowly fading...and when I say fading, I mean dieing. I finally fall to the ground slowly, landing on my back, the sun in my eyes. Suddenly I see this big shadow over me....

It's Mel, he's looking down at me saying "Why did you run? Why the fuck did you run???"

My eyes close...then open, then close...my mind starts slowing, my breathing starts to become faint, my heart is slowing, I'm slowing suffocating. But It doesn't hurt, it's kind of...kind of, peaceful...

Then....I died...

After I die, Mel and Shanda jump in the van and speed off.

After what feels like hours, I slowly open my eyes, the sun is still shining bright in the sky and that sky is so blue. I feel a cool breeze move through my hair as I rise from the pavement.

I look down, I see two holes in my shirt two in the back, two in the front. One over my heart, one between my breasts... But there was nothing. I had no gunshots in my body.

Then, I wake up.

How messed up am I? Seriously!

When it rains, it pours...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 15:00:00 +0000

I've been doing some thinking. I'd like to come out with a new fragrance...My own!

Recently I've seen about a million new colognes and perfumes coming out supposedly by all different types of "celebrities"...

Usher, J-lo, David Beckham, OJ, Paris, Kid Rock, Elvis, Willie Nelson, Peter Griffin, The Oakridge Boys, P Diddy, the list goes on and on!

Well... since I daydream a lot and in my own mind I'm pretty amazing.... I thought, why not? Therefore, I've come up with my very own, new, original, fragrance...

I'm going to call it "Reverie"

I've even come up with the perfect commercial for my new perfume, seriously, it's genius!

Ok now, picture this...

A woman is getting ready for what appears to be a date. She gently sprays herself with just a spritz of "Reverie" and just as she walks in to the heavenly mist, she closes her eyes...

....It's raining outside, it begins as a soft rain, in between the rain shots, you see quick clips of two people kissing softy. As the rain gets harder, the kissing becomes more intense, the couple moves from kissing sweetly in the rain, to passionate kisses along with pulling of shirts and unzipping of jeans as their clothes get wetter and wetter...

Then another close up of two mouths exploring each other in a beautiful dance as the water drips off their lower lips and chins. Of course this entire commercial would have to be bedded with amazing background music like Vivaldi - Four Seasons (please click on link to hear the music while you read)

Yes there would be close up pictures of his hands entangled with her hands, then back to hard core kissing...you would see his mouth sliding in slow motion down her neck

Then it would cut to a scene with the woman opening her eyes as you hear a doorbell ring. She smiles, slightly biting her lower lip as she opens her front door, only to see that it had obviously just stopped raining outside and a really, super, hot, guy, all soaking wet, is standing at her door...

Then all you see is the words "REVERIE, when it rains, it pours..." as the couple walks out the door fading in to a blur... *fade to black*

GENIUS!!!

Where is my mind?....

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 13:26:00 +0000

My dear blogging friends, I'd like to take a moment and say that I'm still waiting to hear some news before I can bring you the big announcement. So, please stay tuned as I will continue to bring you the latest!

With that being said, the other day I was taking a hot bath (as pictured to your left)...YES I said I was taking a hot freakin' bath...that's right, soaking in my own filth!!!

ANYWAY, as I was laying in my bubble bath, a few questions popped in to my mind that got me thinking...

I'd like to run these questions by you and get your input. Please feel free to answer any that may apply with complete honesty.

Thank you for your time and participation.

Is it normal for a woman (me) to become slightly aroused when her boyfriend is sick? (excluding illness causing death and/or horrible, excruciating pain)

Is it normal for someone (male or female) to become sexually aroused during and/or after watching a horror movie?

Is it weird that I want to watch a grown man pee?

Is it wrong to buy toaster strudel simply to misuse the white frosting packets erotically?

If you make yourself throw up twice before bed so you won't have a hangover the next morning, does that make you bulimic or an alcoholic?

Should I be ashamed that I DVR'ed the season premiere of "Beauty and the Geek"?
Why does Cap'n Peanut Butter Crunch cereal tear my mouth to shreds? And does this happen to anyone else, or is it just me?

Folks, these are just a small glimpse as to the kind of questions that pop in to my mind each and every day. Sometimes while soaking in a bath, sometimes in bed right after amazing sex, sometimes while puking after a long night of drinking...

My glass is always half full...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:49:00 +0000

My dear blogging friends, things have been pretty crazy around here. I'm sorry once again for neglecting my responsibilities in the blogging community.

My life is hopefully about to change in a big way! Once again, I hope you all will want to continue to join me on my grand adventure.

I by no means want to count my proverbial "chickens" before they hatch, but I want to keep an optimistic mind about the hole thing!

As soon as I know, I swear you will be the first to know...ok maybe the second....alright, ALRIGHT! Maybe the 5th or 27th...ANYWAY, either way, I swear I'll let you know when I can...

In the meantime, enjoy a lovely picture of my amazing cleavage!

How to beat stress 101

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Hello my blogging friends. Today I'd like to talk about STRESS. We all have it in our lives, sometimes we have it more then other times. But, it's a simple fact of life to have this thorn in our flesh.

With that being said, I thought I'd list some of the ways I like to DE-STRESS. I'm hoping that some of these, if not all of the little ideas I'm bringing before you, will help each and every one of you in some way or another.

Let's begin...

Masturbation: Now, there's some controversy on this matter. I know that some of us were always told by our parents and maybe even society that masturbation was BAD! And if you did it, you might even go to HELL! (Yes, I was told this...) But I've found in my research throughout the years, that just can't be true. This amazing act can seriously help in many areas in our lives. If done responsibly and hopefully in the privacy of our own homes. (Maybe sometimes in the car, at night...when you've been driving for hours and you just can't help it...) Masturbation can help with sleep deprivation, stress, menstrual cramps, anger and yes, even headaches. Works every time...
Long Hot Shower/Bath: For me personally, I'm not a huge bath person. The thought of soaking in my own filth really doesn't do much for me. But hey, if that's what helps you de-stress more power to ya. Me on the other hand, I enjoy a good long, hot shower. Nothing feels better then the feel of really warm/hot drops of water streaming down my naked body while I use my favorite melon grapefruit body wash, cleansing my entire being. Sometimes I'll lean in against the cool tile wall and just let the water slowly slide down my nakedness.
Sleep: Ahhhh yes, sleep! I love to sleep! Sometimes I sleep way to much. (is it possible to be addicted to sleep?) Sleeping can really help with the stress in your life. I know that sometimes what I'm really stressed out, I'll go in to my bedroom, turn on my fan, strip down to my panties, slide in to bed, pull the covers over my head and simply disappear in to blissful sleep. The blanket really helps with this method. I like to pretend that when I put the blanket over my head, I become invisible and no one can find me until I wake and come out from under the magical blanket. Childish? I think not!
Sex: I'm sure most of you know that sex could be known as the #1 stress reliever of all. I'm going to go so far as to state that I personally believe that sex IS the #1 stress reliever of all time! I won't go in to great detail as to how the pleasures of sex can make your mind, body and soul completely calm, content and rejuvenated! The simple fact that we're able to release all the tension inside, the sweat, the moans, groans, grrrowls, kisses, bites, licks, the sucking, the hardness, the wetness...mmmmmm Ohhhhhhh mmmmm right there....YESSSSSS!!! *cough* Anyway, it's truly a miracle from God! Moving on...
Exercise: Yeah, yeah, I know this one isn't as much fun as the others listed above...BUT it honestly can help with stress, a lot! I find that when I do exercise, my body is able to work out a lot of tension built up inside of me. Actually, when you think about it, exercise is kind of like sex... the fact that there's lots of sweat, maybe some groans, moans and yes even grrrowls. Not to mention all the calories burned. If you're really stressed, I'd suggest having a good exercise session and then go right for the sex or masturbation. Actually now that I think about it, you can combine any of these things to have ultimate de-stressing!
Massage: I honestly think massages are amazing. Sometimes after I get a massage I might even have an emotional release that some like to call crying... I was told It's perfectly healthy, trust me... ANYWAY massages are beautiful and very helpful. I'm personally a big fan of what I like to call the "tantric" massage. (you might not want to ask a professional massage therpist for this kind of massage though...) But, if your man/woman is willing and uses some of that self heating massage oil, allowing them to give you a "tantric" massage touching every, single part of your body, working out all the stress and tension built up, it is simply wonderful!

There you have it folks. That's how I get rid of the stress in my life! Now if you would please excuse me, It's been a very stressful day, I gotta go "de-stress"...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:07:00 +0000

Gone Sexing.

Be back soon.

Please leave a message after the beep...

BEEEEEEEEEEP

A Conversation between sisters...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:16:00 +0000

Blogging friends, what you're about to read is an actual conversation that took place between me and my sister, while we were walking to the next bar downtown...

RevRee: How does my cleavage look in this shirt?

Sister: It looks amazing! Try having 2 huge over filled water balloons for breasts

RevRee: I don't think they look like over filled water balloons. At least your boobs are bigger then mine...

Sister: Yeah, well take a look at this picture on my cell phone I sent my boyfriend the other day...

RevRee: HELL NO! I don't want to see the filthy pictures you send to him!!! GROSS!

Sister: Rev, you've seen me naked a million freakin' times, NOW LOOK!

RevRee: ....FINE, I'll take a look... But seriously, I don't want to know any details about his erection err reaction I mean...

Sister: You see that, my breasts look like those women in National Geographic, when their boobs hang down past their knees!!! This is the curse I have to live with every single day, fearing that my ta-tas sag and that one day, I may accidentally hit them with my knee!!

RevRee: BWHAHAHAHAhahahhahahahahaahhaha
*cough* No, no! They don't look like Ethiopian breasts, I swear! Listen, there's lots of men who enjoy extremely large breasts like yours...really...

Sister: You're right, there's a lot of women who would die for these things!

RevRee: That's right sister! Now say, "I got enormously huge boobs and I'm damn proud of it!!" like really loud !

Sister: I got enormously huge boobs and I'm damn proud of it!!

Man, I love my sister, we can talk about anything!

This story is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

I think he's having an affair...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 05:10:00 +0000

with the bed...

Yes my dear blogging friends. I've just recently started suspecting that my "pseudo boyfriend" is having some type of sick, twisted affair with the bed....YES, THE BED HE SLEEPS IN!!!

Just the other night, I'm getting ready for bed and I hear something...I stop to listen and I can hear him talking in that low, whisper voice he does...the one he uses when trying to seduce me. (trust me, it doesn't take much...what? I can't help it....)

ANYWAY, I stop brushing my teeth and listen. I hear him saying something like,

"Oh baby, you are so beautiful, you make me feel so goood, I just love falling in to you. Mmmmm GOD! I just want to sink deep into your warm soft pillows and fall asleep in you"

I bust out laughing, thinking he's talking to me. I say something like...

"I'll be there in a second babe..."

He doesn't answer, he continues...

"you're so warm, so fucking soft.

I just want to lay on top of you, grinding my hot, sweaty, dirty body against you and your softness, just letting me and all my manliness sink in.

The way you take all of me without a word of protest, wrapping your softness around my entire body sending warmth through me.

I love those little noises you makes during sex and the way you squeak when I bounce up and down, up and down, up and down on top of you...GRRRRRRRROWL!!!"

(yes ladies and gentlemen, he actually grrrowled)

Just after the last growl, I walk in and he's laying in the WHORE bed, hard-on and all, he sees me and quickly says,

"WHAT? HUH? WHO? WHAT HAPPENED? The bed means nothing to be baby...I swear..."

And then....then, he grunted.... and I'm about 99.9% sure he came...

*I snapped the picture above, catching him in the act to keep as evidence*

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

So I was thinking, with all the Harry Potter book hype, I thought I'd take it upon myself and go to the bookstore... Interestingly enough, bookstores have always had a very interesting effect on me. Some would call it, freaky, But, I like to think of it as yet another intriguing part of my amazing personality.

Every time I set foot in a library, bookstore, book sale, anyplace with numerous amounts of books I suddenly get extremely turned on. For an example, my eyes MIGHT slightly roll to the back of my head when I take in that wonderful aroma of that new book paper, smell. I totally think it's some type of aphrodisiac... I'm being serious people, stop laughing!

I KNOW! You don't have to even say it, it's so weird! I'm so WEIRD! I'm almost embarrassed to admit this fact about myself. I mean really, what doesn't turn me on?

You know, that's a really good questions. What turns me off? Ummm.... well, I...ummm... I don't really find people who eat watermelon with salt that much of a turn on... and umm I can't stand when someone burps really loud without at least an "excuse me"

Oh yeah! I hate when guys wear their jeans like super low and they have to spread their legs when walking. GOD I hate that! It makes me just want to run up and trip them! And then give them the biggest wedgie ever invented!

OK, anyway back on topic! Books, I love books! Books, books, books! Now, although I don't read as much as I should, the last time I was at the bookstore, I found the most amazing book ever! "Sex Q & A (Explicit answers to hundreds of your most burning questions)" by Anne Hooper

It's funny, whenever I'm in the bookstore browsing the "health" section, I always try and look really serious. Like I'm doing some very impotent research to save mankind. And I'm not in truth, getting slightly frustrated by the super helpful pictures in the books.

Sometimes, if I see other people looking at another section close to the one I'm in, I'll make comments to myself like, "Huh, that's interesting" or "I did not know that, wow!" or my favorite "Eureka!"

Honestly my blogging friends, I've learned quite a bit...

For example, did you know that the clitoris (or sweetness as I like to call it) resembles the penis (or monster as I like to call it) in structure. It has glans and a shaft. Although it's only visible as a tiny, swollen, pink, tip, the clitoris actually goes back several inches in to the body.

WOW!

Also, Spanish Fly is made from dried, crushed bodies of a type of beetle. It works by irritating and inflaming the genitals. It can also be very poisonous and taking it can be fatal and you will DIE!

HOLY CRAP!

So, in closing, Spanish Fly is fatal, I hate salt on watermelon, I'll give you the biggest wedgie ever invented if you wear your pants down past your ass, I strongly suggest that you go out and get the book "Sex Q & A" and apparently the clitoris (or sweetness) is just like a penis (or monster)...

It's just like, it's just like a mini....mall, OH YEAH!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:20:00 +0000

My dearly loved blogging friends, a few months ago I discovered something on Youtube...

Something that has changed my life forever. I honestly think I'll never be the same woman again, after seeing and hearing what I have.

I can't seem to get what I saw and heard out of my mind. It's so freakin' catchy that I find myself singing it happily aloud when I should be doing other things, more important things like, reading a good book, cleaning my house, having sex, working or even masturbating...

*cough*

The happy little tune goes round and round in my head over and over again, until I give in allowing it to take over and I start singing it loud and proud.

Just the other day, I was out shopping for groceries and I just blurted out "It's just like, it's just like a mini mall, HEY, HEY!"
You should have seen the look on the poor little childs face in the cart next to me.

I think somethings wrong with me...I feel like it's starting to take over my very soul. Like it's some type of chant to rise up the evil dead to complete the ultimate plane for world domination!!!!!!!! Soon everyone, everywhere will be singing in unisin!!!!!

ANYWAY, oddly enough, it's not just affecting me...it's affecting the entire Youtube world. Having over 1 MILLION hits and growing... apparently this "music video" has become quite popular...

With all the being said, today I thought I'd share this video with you, my dear blogging friends. It's because I feel like it needs to be spread and shown to everyone I know...

It's what the master wants!!!!!

...er *cough* I mean....I hope you enjoy, Cheers!

I can't stop....Muuuusssst singgggggg along!!!

Living rooms, Bedrooms, Dinettes, OH YEAH!
You can find em at the market
We talkin' about Flea Market
Montgomery

It's just like, just like a mini....mall, OH YEAH!

Come shop with us, I said Flea Market, Montgomery

It's just like, just like a mini....mall, HEY, HEY!

You heard me, come shop
Living rooms, Bedrooms, Dinettes
We got it, you need it, you'll find it

It's just like, just like a mini mall, HEY, HEY!

EVERYONE!!!!!

SABOTAGE!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:00:00 +0000

Hello friends! Some of you may have noticed that my blog has been looking kind of strange in the last few days. Pictures missing, no activity, that sort of thing... No?...oh....well...ok...ummm... *cough* I see how it is...

ANYWAY, those of you who do have a heart and have been paying attention... this all was because I was locked out of Blogger and my Gmail account was shut down, suddenly!

I know, I know...it's hard to believe anyone would want to do such a thing to me, little old me! I mean seriously, I'm one of the sweetest people ever in the universe. Not to mention, I have great cleavage and an amazing personality, ask anyone...

Honestly, I truly believe someone hacked in to my account and took control, I know, I'm still in shock over the whole thing.

I thought I would send a little message to that "person (s)" who thought it was actually a good idea to try and attempt to hack in to my domain!

LISTEN YOU LITTLE FUCKING, FUCK @_(#*@)$&#)*$#&$ !!!TRY LOCKING ME OUT OF MY ACCT AGAIN!

I DARE YOU! WHEN I FIND YOU, I’M GONNA KICK THE LIVING CYBER CRAP OUT OF YOU!!!!

THEN JUST WHEN YOU THINK I'M FINISHED, I'M GONNA MAKE FUN OF YOUR STUPID FACE!

LET ME GUESS, YOU LOVE EATING COTTAGE CHEESE WITH PEACHES, WHILE WATCHING A HALLMARK HALL OF FAME MOVIE ON THE LIFETIME CHANNEL!

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, MEET ME AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! WE’LL SEE WHO’S REALLY GOT THE KAHUNA'S. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU PIECE OF POPCORN KERNEL, STUCK IN MY BACK TOOTH!

LISTEN, HARLOT OF BABYLON WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A BRILLIANT IDEA TO TRY AND SABOTAGE MY EMAIL AND BLOG, YOU SUCK AND I ROCK!

FROM THE WISE WORDS OF RON BURGUNDY, "WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND!!!!"

HARLOT =0

REVREE=1

(p.s. obviously I got my accounts back, HA!)

I think I actually killed my knee...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:27:00 +0000

So yesterday I played softball. Yes, I'm in a softball league....I know it may surprise you that I do have some athletic abilities. You do have to remember I am half black (or colored as some people like to say), so a part of me does at least have a little speed and power.

Anyway, today I feel like a freakin' old woman! Seriously, I think I actually killed my knee, is that possible? Is is possible to actually kill a part of your body even though the rest of you lives on?

Here's an action shot for you....I was really hustling out there... OK, OK! that isn't me in that picture! But, I'm sure if someone did take a picture of me in action, it would look very similar to this shot!

I've been limping around all day, acting like I'm a cripple who just had her right leg chopped off at the knee. It's swollen and being in this condition, it makes it very hard to be on my knees....NOT that I spend a lot of time of me knees...

...SHUDUP! There is no need for you to be thinking of such things, when I'm in the condition that I am in right now! You should be ashamed. Besides, I could always use a pillow or something....IF needed...

ANYWAY, You know, I was reading Mighty Dyckerson's blog the other day and he was crying like a damn baby about how he skinned up his knee. OUCHY! Awww pooor baby, want momma to kiss it and make it all better? BOO HOO!

You weren't playing a rough, dirty, sweaty, game of softball, in hell! Were you DYCK? (yes, I forgot to mention, I live in Hell these days)

So, folks, in closing, Dyckerson's a baby, I feel like shit, I'm a cripple gimp and I need one of those guys who carry the geisha girls around on their back, for at least a week...maybe more...

On that note...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 07:36:00 +0000

My dear friends I've made some executive decisions and taken some artistic freedoms with my blog and I hope that you approve? If you don't....well, screw you, it's my blog!

There's been a lot going on in my life, some good, some kinda sucky. I won't be going in to all that with this post. No, Instead I'm going to talk about the pleasures of an orgasm.

Pleasures of an orgasm, you ask?....Let me elaborate...

Have any of you really stopped to think about the complete magicalness (is that even a word, magicalness?) of the human orgasm? I mean, seriously, what can we compare this intense action too? NOTHING! It's like noting on earth. Not even chocolate people! Chocolate, can't even take the place of sheer, ecstasy that erupts deep inside of us when this moment takes place in our tiny little lives.

The other day I was watching "The Vagina Monologues" on HBO...at first I thought it was going to be some type of "Chick Power", "We hate men", "Power to the sweetness" kinda thing. But, to my surprise it wasn't. It's actually a pretty cool little monologue. If you can get past the way the woman preforming it looks...

ANYWAY, I admit, I was a little uncomfortable when I first started watching this...It's a bit raw and I'm not sure how I feel about people talking about the most private parts of a woman... Yeah, some parts are a bit much and got a little lesbo on me.

But, what really intrigued me was when they interviewed all different women about what their orgasms were like...

Amazing, people, amazing!

This was the part that really got me thinking. It's an amazing thing, the orgasm. Honestly, folks, I believe it's a miracle, straight from God. No, I'm being serious.

I mean think about it, every part or our body tensing up, focusing on this one task, release...the sweet, sweet blissful release of every single thing deep inside of us, letting go all at the same time.

I'm mesmerized and hypnotized, the blinders of my entire being focusing on right here, right now! I believe the orgasm is almost like being at the edge of insanity. Where we completely lose our minds, only caring about reaching that itch deep inside of us and letting that throbbing, aching desire out.

It's like a struggle for power within ourselves. We try to hold on as long as possible, not wanting to stop, only to finally give in allowing the pleasure to take total and complete control over us.

Trusting the orgasmic delight to rush through our body overwhelming the core of our soul.

Then flashes of light, the entire body rushing with pleasure all at the same time, a peaceful silence over powering me, sending me into the deep, deep tunnel of beautiful blackness, with those flashes of bright colors all around me...

YESSSSSSssssss, OHHHHhhhh Yessssss! OH MY SWEET LORD, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind...I wonder if I'm reading to much erotica these days?...

...It's good to be back!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 01:08:00 +0000

The new and improved Life & Times of RevRee!!!!!