The Art of Words

Jobs You Didn't Know Existed Part 9

2012-01-19T11:05:00.005Z

Mostly genuine. Usual disclaimers (legal, moral, safety...) apply.covert human intelligence source (computer hacker – see the Leveson Inquiry)antique shopping tour guide archaeo-metallurgistart selector for interiorsbassoon player (or whatever there’s a shortage of)boat valetdreamer-up of names for bands (and paint colours)email answerererrand runnerforensic taxonomistforger of modern

Bombay Ducks

2012-01-15T20:25:00.004Z

A Welsh Rabbit is not a “rare bit”, it’s a Bombay Duck. And a Bombay Duck is a fish.Bohemian diamond: rock crystal Bombay Duck: fish (Harpodon nehereus), fish of the family Harpodontidae, found in estuaries of northern India, where it is widely used as a food fish and, when dried, as a condiment. (Enc Brit) Bronx cheer: raspberry, boocapote Anglaise (English overcoat): condomCarthaginian peace:

Archaic Pairs

2012-01-15T10:20:00.004Z

Waxing and waningWhy are factions always “warring”, asks David Aaronovitch? And why don’t we use the archaic word “warring” in any other context? There are more of these pairs:accomplished liar (skilled)allay fears (soothe)amicable divorce (friendly)arrant nonsense (utter)assailed by doubt (attacked)bore the brunt (bore the what?)bounden duty (duty)capacious handbagdabble in black magicdulcet

Archaic Words II

2012-01-14T20:45:00.008Z

When people write obituaries, or letters to The Times, they come over all archaic. When did you last fight in a joust or meet a thrall? abuzzaflutter alas! aloftamiss apace aplentyboon companionburgeoning (it means “flowering”, not “expanding”)clamour for reform (call)come to heel erstwhilefor (because)garlanded for awarded honoursgirding (preparing) It's short for "gird up your loins", from the

Art Shows in Europe

2012-01-07T10:05:00.009Z

Kunsthaus Zurich10 February-29 AprilWinter Tales: Winter in Art from the Renaissance to Impressionism Winter landscapes in art, on tapestries and plates as well as canvas. Armies stranded in snow, cosy interiors, skating jollity – from Monet’s Magpie to an empress's sleigh.Kunstpalast, Dusseldorf 28 April-12 AugustEl Greco and Modernism The influence of the Greek-Spanish mannerist on early

Excuse the Pun - Again!

2012-01-05T18:51:00.006Z

Lightning conductorAmateur writers love inserting "excuse the pun!" - especially after non-puns.Paronomasia: use of words, usually humorous, based on (a) the several meanings of one word, (b) a similarity of meaning between words that are pronounced the same, or (c) the difference in meanings between two words pronounced the same and spelled somewhat similarly, e.g., Thomas Hood's “They went and

Hyperbole and Overstatement

2012-01-05T15:06:00.009Z

Attacking French valuesMy mum used to tell my friends off if they claimed they were "starving" as her mum would not allow any exaggeration in speech. Lucewoman on The Age of Uncertainty (given as example of being middle class)It seems that if people don’t get married, plague, famine and disaster will result. You can read the reasons for getting married here (they are sensible things like

It's Not Rocket Science

2011-12-31T10:43:00.008Z

Why oh why don't we...?Give buildings more natural light with picture windows, internal doors with little glass panes, windows between rooms, skylights, light wells, mirrors.Use the Post Office network to offer out-of-hours parcel pickup.Create more parklets – little gardens in former car parks, vacant lots, waste bits between bits, alleys between houses.Give civil partnership the same legal

Inspirational Quotes Part Nine

2011-12-23T23:48:00.006Z

Beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of introduction. Aristotle"Friends talk," she says. "So especially among teenagers and college students, when everyone is trying to be the same, 'the same' is what you get." theatlantic.comPeople who live in society have learned how to see themselves in mirrors as they appear to their friends. Jean-Paul Sartre, NauseaMy teenage years were the

More Neologisms

2011-12-21T18:07:00.007Z

New ways of saying things (thankyou, Twitterfriends.)baked in the cake (things you can’t change)a Rada-approved Mad Stare Libby Purves Oct 22 2011 TimesBlairism = 21st century pseudomodernism @entschwindet Nov 2011bubblegum Hysterical attempts to bubblegum the whole thing together. Boris Johnson on the euroCGI garbage Nicholas Lezard on Tintin G October 19, 2011Drive is like a big Levi’s advert

Mixed Metaphors Part Five

2011-12-16T22:40:00.010Z

Watch out for garbled images like these:bow-tie lips Lionel Shriver Times October 29, 2011 The blue-eyed English rose with the china-white skin and cupid lips Daily Telegraph on Susannah York, 2011 That’s “cupid’s bow” lips.Berlusconi “forged his road to power” (roads are usually paved)But America’s Puritanical past casts a strong shadow to this day… middleclasshandbook.co.uk A long shadow – all

More Travel Writing Cliches

2011-12-13T21:55:00.004Z

Tourists come in hordes.Or else they're "chattering trippers": All the action is in the restaurant, which is packed out with chattering trippers. John Walsh Indy 23 July 2011 (We are such an elite that there aren’t enough of us to pack anywhere out. And if we do gather together, we don’t “chatter”, we converse.)Hens, when not being carried in baskets on buses, “scratch” around people’s front

Forbidden Words for 2011

2011-12-13T18:49:00.019Z

There are some words and phrases that should be retired, because I'm tired of reading them.deep pockets = fat wallet, healthy bank balance (do you keep your money loose in your pockets?)You collect a pension POT. The government keeps its money in COFFERS, or the public PURSE. You hit people in the WALLET, especially if they have deep POCKETS. (Replace with piggy bank, treasure chest, bank account

Too Appropriate Metaphors II

2011-12-09T22:51:00.011Z

Ann Ingram, who was woken up by the cows mooing, said: "It used to be sheep, and that's bad enough, but cows are a whole different kettle of fish.” BBC on cow invasion of Tredegar June 29, 2011a talented footballer to bootBeijing will collect and melt snow this winter in a bid to quench the water shortage that has plagued the Chinese capital for years, state media reported Friday. AFP November

Buzz Words of 2011 Part II

2011-12-09T08:51:00.011Z

Every year has its favourite slang. Every year has its fashionable pomposity, too - like to do so, rightly so. But effectively, to that end and sits well with seem to have gone at last.modern-day for current, modern, present-dayping me! Words fail, I’m losing the will etc wish list (around several years)bucket list mindless being wheeled out, coupled with “violence” and “thuggery”, week of

Junk Statistics

2011-12-01T22:09:00.010Z

You can prove anything with statistics - as long as you make them up.Sex and Marriage 6 out of 10 women prefer chocolate to sex. (Fay Weldon in her latest book Sept 2006)Men think about sex three times a second. (Latest figures say 19 times a day.)43% of women experience sexual dysfunction.50 per cent of US marriages end in divorce. (Based on stats from one year - allegedly.)One in three

Outdated Slang

2011-11-29T19:41:00.008Z

When did people stop saying...aficionado (Very 80s. Nobody could spell it.)Ah hae me doots!, I must dree my weird, och aye the noo, hoots mon, it’s a braw bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht and other pseudo-Scotticisms (thank heavens it's over)and in that order blast from the past bonce (head) boo boo, boob (we boobed)brains of a prawncake-hole (mouth) card-carrying (it was an insult)cascading (

Whatever Happened To...?

2011-11-26T10:35:00.005Z

all you can eat salad bars (replaced by “food halls”?)astrology carphonescommemorative teaspoonscomplaining about “long-haired DJs”eau de Nil (the colour – used to be everywhere in kitchen enamelware, tiles, packaging, walls, doors…)egg cosies Equity cards free higher educationidea that word processors weren’t really computersjibes about bra-burning, chairpersons, chivalry and door-opening (

My Predictions for 2012

2011-11-21T11:10:00.004Z

The seaside is OK nowColumnists will recycle old articles moaning about mobile phones, computers, typewriters, ITV into whinges about Facebook (Why I Don’t Use Facebook, Why I Don’t Let My Daughter Use Facebook, Why I Have Left Facebook, Why I Am Joining Facebook Five Years After Everybody Else, Why Facebook Is Dead).A television historian will opine that children should learn British history

More More Adjectives

2011-11-17T19:32:00.007Z

cheap: over-reliance on a set of cheap journalistic tricks Mind Hacks blogeyerolly I am especially eyerolly at the ones who have NO IDEA how polarized this place is (the US). democraticunderground.comfeeble (piece of writing, humour)formulaic, FX-driven set pieces Independent on Super 8fridge-magnet Helen Keller’s fridge-magnet wisdom… “Security is mostly a superstition.” Guardian September 3,

Children's Book Cliches

2011-11-16T22:57:00.005Z

When attacked by a large creature with fangs, prop its jaws apart with a halberd, or anything handy.To kill a dragon, hide in a pit and stab its vulnerable underside as it crawls to the river to drink (may be myth No.794).If your dog disappears, it will be found on a ledge in a quarry.In caves, the walls are always “covered with a kind of phosphorescence that gives a little light.”Nasty

Inspirational Quotes Part Eight

2011-11-12T22:34:00.006Z

Be spontaneous, live for the moment, don't make plans, just go out and have fun! Yeah.Many people will always see the self-help industry as a cynical money-spinner. bbc online Nov 2011Self-empowerment rubbish about breaking through walls and finding your true self. Nicholas Lezard Guardian October 19, 2011"This is one of the crazy romantic myths of the 1990s" Stephen Pinker on the idea that

Edward Burra

2011-11-12T08:01:00.012Z

Pallant House, Chichester until 19 February (01243 774557)Burra is the forgotten artist everyone has heard of and this is an opportunity to see a lot of his work at once. He worked mainly in watercolour because he became progressively disabled from arthritis. Born in 1905, he was a Bright Young Thing of the 20s - he made friends at art school (he went aged 15), and for the rest of his life kept

Reasons to be Cheerful... ish II

2011-11-08T22:17:00.007Z

We've advanced from the days when chattel slavery was considered normal and the absolute rule of monarchs was considered a product of divine creation. Mike BallardSir, Jonathan Sacks... follows a long tradition of seeing only decline and collapsing discipline; Aristotle grumbled that the youth showed no respect... In living memory we have created the welfare state – the greatest act of communal

Political Euphemisms III

2011-11-03T14:28:00.005Z

A certain kind of rightwinger fits the riots into the pattern of moral and social decline that she imagines has afflicted British society since the 1950s: multiculturalism, soft policing, family breakdown (ie, sexual tolerance and feminism), liberal teaching, welfare dependency and immigration are all part of this elaborately imagined world. @DAaronovitch, Times 11 Aug 11As a forum researcher you