Everyday Miracles

My Heart is Full

2015-07-09T15:08:00.001-07:00

Today my heart is full.

With having health problems for years, 2 surgeries within 6 months of each other last year, stress of raising kids, stress of kids with health problems, financial issues, etc... It has been so easy over the years to get so caught up in my own little world. I get so focused on how fatigued I am feeling, how stressed I am with trying to keep up with the day to day stuff, so focused on things pertaining to myself, that I just feel empty. I felt like I was losing myself and didn't know who I was any more.

Lately, in order to help out with our financial situation, I have been trying to find ways to earn money. My friend hired me to clean her house. It really helped us out, but it just felt so wrong to me to be paid to do this service. I was glad to make money to be able to help out our family, but I still didn't feel accomplished or any better about myself. I couldn't figure out why. But today I have had a light bulb moment.

Serving others is so ingrained in me. I live to serve others. I had the opportunity to serve several times lately and I am actually feeling less empty. My heart feels full because of this. It feels just downright wrong to do things and be paid. I know in the big scheme of things that is just silly, but that is just how my heart is. I don't write this to draw attention to any service I have done or to try to get praise or a pat on the back. Not at all. I always feel weird talking about service I have done or when people acknowledge what I have done (of course when people thank me it does make me feel good). I write this because to me, this is a special realization that Heavenly Father has given me. My little daily miracle, if you will.

I think that I have been given opportunities to serve because Heavenly Father knows that is what I need to overcome my depression due to being so focused on my trials. He knows my heart. He knows my soul. And He provides me with the things I need to overcome my struggles. It just took me a while to realize that these opportunities to serve were His way of helping me through.

Small and Simple Things

2015-07-08T22:53:00.000-07:00

Some days it can be hard to see the miracles around us. I am sure there are big miracles that happen around me and I am just not noticing them as my mind is preoccupied with life... looking back on today the miracle that comes first to my mind is very simple and small. I played a game with my 8 year old daughter.

Yes, you read that right. My miracle today was that I did a simple thing of playing a game with my child. Why is that a miracle? To explain, I will need to give a little bit more background.

Since my son was born a little over 3 years ago, I have had major sleep deprivation. He had health issues that caused him to not be able to sleep very well. (I'll write more about that in another post at another time) Which meant that I didn't sleep very well. As the years have gone on, I still have various things that have been affecting my sleep so I never, ever feel rested. Add on top of that my health problems (which cause fatigue) and the stress of raising a teenager, an inbetweener, and 2 toddlers... and I am a a mess. My stress hormone is on full blast all the time. I am always worn out.

Each day I have a kind of ritual that I do to give myself time to de-stress for a little bit in order to make it the rest of the day. I put my son down for a nap, have the other kids go play outside or busy with something, and then I make myself lunch which I eat in my bed as I watch a tv show. I NEED that time. I have found that I am a better mom when I get to have that time to step away from the craziness of my life.

Today my 8 year old asked me to please play a wii game with her. I finished my lunch and wanted to finish watching my show to de-stress a little longer. I put her off for a few minutes and tried to justify not playing a game with her, but I realized how important it was to her. So I reluctantly went out to play a game with her.

I saw that she had picked Just Dance... Dancing around all goofy?? Really? But I did it. I made sure to get real into it and be silly. I ended up having a lot of fun and so did she. We spent quality, fun one on one time together. I am so glad I put aside my selfish need/want and put her needs first. I know the nudge came from above, because He knew her needs.

Finding Joy

2015-04-27T14:56:00.003-07:00

I am a mom of 4 kids, ages 13, 8, 4, and 3. My 3 year old is a crazy, Tasmanian devil boy- I say that VERY lovingly, of course! I adore him, but he definitely wears me out. The other 3 are girls... and can be high drama. So they wear me out too.

There are days when I actually think to myself, "I don't want to be a mom any more! Why is this the life I wanted so bad as a kid?!?!"

Those days... are very hard days. Not just hard because the kids are fighting over EVERYTHING, or because my son dumped yet ANOTHER cup of juice, water, or milk all over his sister's bedroom, or because I have to figure out another dinner and find the energy to actually make it, or the many other challenges I face as a parent. The part that makes it the hardest is the guilt I feel. I feel guilty for not having the patience that I feel I should have with my kids. I feel guilty that dinner was thrown together and is mostly leftovers we have had the past couple days. Guilt over not getting the house clean. Guilt over yelling at my kids when I got to my whits end. But the BIGGEST guilt of all that I feel on those days is for actually wishing that these beautiful little spawns of my husband and I weren't here. Because when I let myself think that I don't want to be a mom any more, that it is too much- I'm in a way saying I wish they didn't exist.

That guilt is the worst. That guilt makes me feel like the worst person to ever live.

I love my kids so much. Sometimes life gets hard. I put my needs on the back burner, I don't take care of my own health, I don't take the time to do things that I used to love doing, and I let moments of joy slip through my fingers.

When I am struggling, my sister will lovingly remind me that in the scriptures there is a phrase, "It came to pass". That my hard times will pass, because they didn't "come to stay". I love this reminder.

Today I am focusing on the joy as much as I can. The good things that I can find joy in. Because these amazing kids are growing up- much too fast!- and before I know it, they will be adults living their own lives and I will miss this so much. So I will find joy in this phase of my life. This phase will pass all too quickly and I don't want to be asleep at the wheel and one day realize I missed out on all the joyful moments.

This realization is a miracle to me. Heavenly Father knows my needs and nudged me to start writing again because He knows that when I write- I realize things. It makes the light bulb turn on. And that if I am actively looking for the daily miracles, then I will find them.

Heavenly Father's Love

2013-08-08T12:51:00.004-07:00

Last week I had the opportunity to go to Girl's Camp with the girls ages 12-18 from our church. I was gone for 5 days. I was really excited to go, but was worried about how my 1 year old son and 2 year old daughter would do with me gone. My son had never been away from me for more than 5 hours before. I had some anxiety about leaving him, but knew it was important for me to go. My husband took time off so he was home full time. The night before I left, I prayed that the kids would be ok. That my 1 and 2 year old would adjust well and be ok with me being gone and that they would understand I was coming back. I prayed the same thing daily while I was at camp. The week went on and the reception was barely existing since we were out in the woods. But I was able to get a text every once in a while, so checked in daily at home. My husband let me know that the kids were doing great. Better than expected. I was glad, but then it started to make me feel sad that they didn't even seem to miss me. When I got home and got to love on my kids, I felt better until I let my mind think about it too much. I began feeling depressed. I began feeling that my kids didn't even need me. That I really had no purpose here. When I went to bed and said my nightly prayer I broke down in tears. I cried to Heavenly Father asking what my purpose even was. That I was feeling like my children didn't need me. After I finished my prayer and laid in bed crying. I heard a voice saying, "You asked me to take care of them and I did." Instantly the depression lifted and my tears became tears of gratitude and peace. What an incredible blessing that was.

Needle in a Haystack...

2012-07-31T12:18:00.001-07:00

We had been renting a home for the past year and recently our lease was up. We had to decide if we were going to sign a new lease and stay, or find a new place to live. Through lots of prayer, we decided that it was time to buy a house. Part of me doubted it could really happen, but we still went and spoke to someone about a loan. Our jaws dropped when we prequalified for a good size loan. So we put in our notice to vacate when the lease was up.
As you may know, buying a house does take time. So we had to figure out what to do in the mean time. My parents graciously let us move in with them while we buy a house. We put all of our stuff into storage and settled into my parents house and the home loan process began!

We were just informed that for the loan they need all W2's from 2010....Well....me being the organizer that I am, filed away everything from 2010 and before. Which of course meant the box or bin with all those papers was somewhere in one of our 3 storage units. I tried to find ways of obtaining copies of them so I wouldn't have to go dig them out, but there was no way, save it be to pay lots of money to the IRS and wait weeks for them to come.

Today I decided that I would go and look. I had narrowed it down to 2 storage units that it could be in. So I opened both doors and immediately felt discouraged. They were stuffed full and the front was full of odds and ends thrown in. I called my husband and told him that we would have to come back on his next day off and unload the storage unit.
After I hung up the phone, I said a prayer. I felt strongly which unit it was in. I then had a feeling to start moving out boxes on a certain side of the unit. So I started pulling out a dresser, baby bassinet, and lots of boxes and odds and ends. I finally reached the stacks of bins (about 6 feet back) and couldn't see any labels. Again I was discouraged. I was about to put everything back in when I noticed a small bin that had been put on the bottom of a stack of boxes, which was crushed from the weight of everything on top of it. I figured I better unbury it and put it on top. As I moved the whole stack that was on top of it, I kept noticing a box with squiggly writing on it....not my handwriting. I ignored it and moved on. But my attention kept being drawn to it so I finally decided to read what it said....and there were the words (in my husband's "fanciest" writing) "Important papers."

I had found it! But truly, it wasn't me who had found it. I was directed to it. Had I ignored those promptings to dig a little further and to read what was labeled on a box that I thought for sure wouldn't be the box I was looking for (I thought I had put them into a bin and labeled it myself), then we wouldn't have the papers that we so badly need for our loan. I immediately thanked Heavenly Father for his assistance in finding the box....the needle in a haystack, so to speak. I am truly blessed.

Moments That Change A Life

2012-05-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

Last week on Monday, my husband's parents and brother were supposed to be driving across the state to visit us. Instead my husband and I drove over 6 hours to the hospital where my father-in-law lay on life support, so that we could say our goodbyes. Then we stayed by his side as he passed on.

It was one of the saddest and hardest things I have ever had happen in my life. I have lost many people in my life, but had never been with someone as they passed away. As sad as it was to be there, I am glad we were able to be there. We were able to say goodbye and we were able to be there with him so he wasn't alone as his life slipped away.

This experience has really affected me. I have been grieving deeply, but have also learned from this happening. I learned that it is important to always let people know how you feel about them so that there are no regrets if they pass away. I have always felt awkward with being "touchy/huggy" with people or telling people I love them (other than to my husband, my children, and my parents). I don't want to continue that route, so I have already begun working on that in myself. I am pretty sure I caught my brother-in-law off guard when I gave him a hug this past week, but I know I would feel awful if anything happened and he never knew that I consider him my brother.

I know this is completely cliche', but life really is too short. Goes along with the other cliche' of "live like there's no tomorrow." I started to realize this after my husband and my dear friend passed away last fall and now with losing my father-in-law it is cemented into my mind. So now I am making changes in my life.

There is a song that is now one of my favorites, which I think fits very well for how I want to be now.

For King & Country "Proof of Your Love"

Christmas Miracle

2011-12-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

Today my husband and I dropped our 2 older kids off with my mom so we could get some shopping out of the way. When we left one of the stores, we had our 8 month old baby in the cart as we walked across the parking lot to our van. As we were walking, my husband and I noticed something fall to the ground. We stopped and looked and it was a coupon. I stood there for a few seconds confused because the coupon was in the diaper bag (deep down in a pocket) which was buried under some grocery bags. As I was standing there confused at how it could suddenly fall out like that, a van backed up really fast from it's parking spot. Didn't even see us standing there. Had we not stopped to pick up the coupon and kept walking instead, the van would have hit us.

At first we were freaked out at the van backing out so fast, but we quickly felt thankful that the coupon flew out onto the ground. Which in all reality shouldn't have been able to get out of the bag and fall... We know without a doubt in our minds that we were being watched over and protected. Had that van hit us, our 8 month old would have gotten badly hurt and we could have gotten hurt too (and I am pregnant, so baby could have been hurt too). This truly was a miracle that we are thanking our gracious Heavenly Father for.

It's Okay To Feel

2011-09-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

The pain is so deep. My heart has been physically in pain since the news of our friend's death. It becomes hard to move, hard to go about the daily things I need to do. It is paralyzing. I have often wondered how people get through times like this. Part of me feels that it isn't possible.

Some amazing friends have given beautiful consoling words and I would like to share one that I am finding helpful right now:

"The best quote from Time Out for Women:
I know everything is going to be okay; but that doesn't make it okay right now.
It is ok to hurt and feel the million feelings inside. Healing will be a while in coming, but the best things are worth waiting for.
All my love and prayers!"

Knowing it is ok to let myself feel all the sadness, grief, anger, sorrow, the pain.... that helps. Knowing that the healing does take a while, but I will get there, really helps too. I am grateful for the friends and family that I have to get me through this hard time. God has blessed me with some amazing people in my life. One may have gone home to Him, but it doesn't mean he left us completely. We have wonderful memories that we have shared and his spirit around us. And we have the wonderful friends and family to help lift us up during this time.

Today one of my favorite songs came on the radio. The song now has a completely different meaning to me.

God Be With You Till We Meet Again

2011-09-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

Things had been going real well for us lately. My husband's job is progressing better than before and we just found out that we are expecting another baby. We were out today as a family, enjoying our time together. We sat down at our favorite restaurant, ordered the food and were having a nice time together. Then we got a phone call that felt like a semi just hit us out of nowhere.

My husband met his best friend when he was young. They remained best friends for the past 20 years. When my husband and I first met, his friend immediately took me in as a friend too. Not too long after, he became like a brother to me like he had been to my husband for so many years. We took vacations together, when we lived in the same area he would come hang out with us several times a week. Our kids adore and love him, they even called him their uncle. He was a very important part of our lives.

So to get a phone call today that he had died was beyond devastating. I broke down right there in the restaurant. We didn't want to tell the kids there, so we got our food put in to go boxes and went home. Telling our kids was even harder than hearing it myself. It did make me feel grateful though for the knowledge I have of the after life and that we have taught our kids about it. I felt grateful to be able to tell them that their uncle was in Heaven and that he is with his grandpa and grandma, who he often talked about how much he missed them.

As hard as this tragedy is, I am grateful to know that he is now in a happier place. We will miss him dearly and there will always be a hole in our lives, but I know I will see him again some day.

Farewell, dear friend. We will meet again. At heaven's gate, we will meet again.

My Sweet Daughter

2011-09-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today I sat down with my 4 year old daughter, E, and played Candy Land. It was fun to spend that one on one time with her. After she won the first game, she felt really bad and wanted me to win the second game. The luck of the draw didn't let that happen, so she won again. She told me again that she wanted me to win too, so wanted me to keep drawing cards until I got to get to the end. I got to a couple squares away from the end 3 times, only to end up drawing a candy card that sent me almost all the way to the beginning each time. Finally, after going through the deck a couple times, I said I was giving up.

She said in her sweetest voice, "Mom, we can find a game that is easier for you." She was so genuine and sweet. The whole time she cared about me. She didn't gloat about winning or anything. It made me realize I must have done a pretty good job raising her to be compassionate and caring. Which makes me feel like less of a failure. I find that pretty miraculous :)

Best Friend Day

2011-09-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

We have been still trying to get things all settled into our new home AND get ready for a garage sale, so it has been crazy hectic. I haven't even been able to take the time to notice all the daily miracles I am surrounded by. So tonight I decided I need to find the daily miracles again. Because I know that it truly helps me focus on the good things in life.

Today was a crazy, stressful day with putting on a garage sale....but the wonderful thing about today was getting to spend it with my mom. We don't hang out as much any more because we have been so busy. So with her and I doing the garage sale together it meant I got to spend the entire day with her. I am so grateful for that. My mom is one of my best friends and I really need a best friend day.

Like Finding A Needle In A Haystack

2011-08-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the day with family where they were staying. I went into a couple stores, went into their hotel/suite, and walked through parking lots and a parking garage....then happened to look at my wedding ring and notice the gem was missing. I was upset, I love my ring! I knew I would never be able to find a tiny little gem so was thinking of places to go to get a new gem put in.

Then I had this thought come into my mind to look inside the diaper bag. That it probably fell out when I was getting a bottle or diaper. I picked up the diaper bag and looked inside, lifted up the formula can and lo and behold there the gem was...resting on the bottom of the bag.

What an amazing miracle! What are the chances of that happening!?!?

Being a Mom

2011-08-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

We spent the weekend on the coast in a beach house. We had no internet access, so it was all focused on each other. It was supposed to be a vacation....it was supposed to allow me to get away from all the stress of unpacking and allow me to relax. But vacationing with kids isn't so easy.

The baby was perfect. She was happy and giggly, but the older two kids fought and whined left and right. It was overwhelming. I was constantly cleaning up after everyone and trying to get the kids to quit fighting and being mean and rude.

We got back yesterday and there has been a lot of hyperactivity now with being home. And hyperactivity means they don't listen to me at all. I am beyond exhausted from unpacking and going on vacation and then back to unpacking. I can hardly keep myself going.

I bet you are wondering where the blessing/miracle is, huh? Well, here it is.... Even with all of that, even with the stress and exhaustion, even with the arguing and whining....I love my kids dearly and I love being a mom. I wouldn't have it any other way. My life wouldn't be complete without them. I am so blessed to be a mom.

Blessed By God's Love

2011-07-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

So many amazing things have happened in our life this past week. It has been chaotic with the move, but each day has been filled with blessings and little miracles. I just didn't have internet hooked up until yesterday, so wasn't able to write about them.

It is so apparent that God is in our lives. That his hand guides us and that he wants to see us each succeed. Difference is, God's thoughts on success are different than most mortals. We view success as having a really good paying job, big house, fancy car...you know, the type of things that make us feel good enough about ourselves to want to go to our high school reunions. Success in God's eyes are very different from those things. His kind of success is far greater.

I am so grateful to have God in my life. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of him and his son, Jesus Christ. I am so blessed to have been born into a Christian family so that I could grow up knowing about our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. In my adult life things always turn out as long as I have listened to the promptings of the spirit in where I need to be and what I need to be doing. Even during the struggles, as long as I stay close to God then I am just fine.

He takes care of us. I have heard people ask why he lets bad things happen to us if he loves us so much. Why he lets us make mistakes, etc. I have come to realize, through being a parent, that you can't MAKE your kids make the right choices. All you can do is provide them with the knowledge they need in order to succeed and make the right choices. It is up to them to use that knowledge. If they are made to make the right choices then they learn nothing from it. If they make bad choices, fall at times, then they learn and grow. That is what God does for us. I am so grateful that he loves me enough to let me make my own mistakes and choices. Because I have grown so very much the past couple years due to making wrong decisions and even due to making right decisions.

I am just feeling so extremely blessed today.

Lead By The Spirit

2011-07-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

Fifteen months ago we sold our first home and moved in with family. Thinking it would be a couple month situation, we went into it rather enthused. Then things didn't work out. We have been living with family ever since. Although I am so very grateful for my family and for them allowing us to stay with them for so long, we definitely have had a hard time getting used to not having our own stuff and our own space.

We have been trying so hard. My husband has been working so hard (working a job even with his back in so much pain), but we stayed stuck for a very long time. It honestly seemed like we would never get a place of our own. Until this past week when we decided to find a place to rent and pay a year on (which I blogged about in Answered Prayers )

We have been searching for a house in a very specific area of town and nothing was working out. Then last night I was looking at ads with my mom. I ended up clicking on one that was slightly more than the ones we had been looking at. It sounded amazing. I called to ask where it was and when she told me (and it wasn't in the area we wanted) I said, "thank you" and hung up. Something told me to call back and ask if she would allow pets and ask to see it. So I called right back. She normally wouldn't want pets indoors, but said if I can promise I would make sure they wouldn't tear up the house then she would allow it. Then she said if 9 pm wasn't too late that we could see it last night. Otherwise wait til morning. We opted to see it at 9 pm.

We weren't planning on taking the kids to see it, but we didn't get them to bed in time so ended up taking them with us. When we pulled into the driveway we felt so good about it. Then as soon as we walked into the house we fell in love. It was exactly what we have been looking for. The kids were running around all excited. They went upstairs and chose their rooms (surprisingly no fight, they each wanted a different room!). As we walked around from room to room, it felt like home. We began planning where things would go.

It was 9:20 pm...we decided we wanted it. I called the landlord (she had the neighbor show us the house because she lives far away) and talked to her about it. I was expecting her to say she would get the application for us to fill out for the background check and credit report (which is what all the other places asked for), but instead she asked, "How soon would you like to move in?" I told her as soon as able. She said, "I will drive up tomorrow and you can sign the paperwork and I will give you the keys."

I was in total shock! I whispered to my husband and Mom, "We move in tomorrow!" They got so excited. When I got off the phone, I told the kids. They were screeching and jumping up and down. My 10 year old, J, started crying. Worried she was crying because it meant switching schools and church building, I asked if she was ok with it. She nodded and said how happy she was.

What an incredible miracle and blessing. God has truly provided for us. He has blessed us to greatly.

Mommy's Girl

2011-07-25T00:14:00.000-07:00

Today I was reading to E (my 4 year old). One of the books she asked me to read was "Dumbo." It was new so she had never heard the story before and has never seen the cartoon. While reading it to her, she clung onto my arm and laid her head against me. When I was done reading the story, I looked down and saw tears in her eyes.

I asked her if she was crying. She wiped her eye and said, "No, it's just water..." I told her that it is ok if she was crying. She nodded her head. I had to prod her to find out why she was crying. In the story, Dumbo's mom was taken away and locked up. He wasn't able to see her or have her rock him to sleep in her trunk any more. That made E so sad. After her telling me this, it made sense why she clung to me during the story.

It was sad, but sweet at the same time. She normally doesn't cry when it comes to things happening in movies or books. She has such a fear of being away from me though, so I am sure that is why this book brought on tears.

I am so grateful that I get to be a stay at home mom. I am glad that she can have that bonding time with me that she needs. Seeing how this book affected her emotions made me feel even more blessed to be able to be home with the kids.

Answered Prayers

2011-07-23T23:41:00.000-07:00

We have all been praying that something would work out for us to buy a home. My husband and I both felt rather hopeless because nothing has been working out. We have been living with family for over a year and have had our things in storage for just as long. It has been discouraging, but we kept praying. Then last night something happened.

Every night my husband and I read scriptures together. Last night while reading scriptures at 1 in the morning, I reached over and touched his hand. Upon touching his hand, I immediately felt a rush of happiness go shooting up my arm, to my heart and throughout the rest of my body. Then about a minute later I had another feeling of energy rush through me from head to toe like a bolt of lighting. With this came the clear thought into my head, "You have the money to pay for a years worth of renting. Rent instead of buy." I also had the thought with it that we would have better income by then to qualify for a higher loan than we are now, which means getting a nicer house that won't have to be totally renovated.

I had it in my mind for so long that we can't afford to rent. But because of the car accident settlement, as small as our portion ended up being, we can rent a home. I was so excited and so happy. I had a difficult time going to sleep. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that God had answered my pleas! God listened and answered! What an incredible feeling that was. I went into the bathroom and cried as I thanked Heavenly Father a couple dozen times. (was too embarrassed to let my husband see so that is why I went into the bathroom lol)

Today I have felt happy and excited and grateful. Instead of waiting months and months to see if we would get the short sale house that would take a few thousand to fix up, we could be moving into a place in the next couple weeks. God is good. All the time.

Debt Free! Well...mostly...

2011-07-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

Today I was able to pay off my student loans in FULL!!! That is such a big deal and such a major miracle. I have had to defer the payments for 2 years due to not even being able to make payments of any kind. Now I was able to pay it off. So grateful for the car accident settlement that allowed us to get this debt paid off. (Just not grateful for the horrible pain my husband is still in from the car accident)

I find it interesting how often the money we need comes when we most need it. Makes the struggles we go through in the mean time worth it.

Bedtime

2011-07-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Yet another post that most won't quite understand unless they are a parent...

My 2 older kids have been very difficult to get to sleep lately. We will get them all tucked in around 8 and it will take about 3 hours before they will finally fall asleep, sometimes longer. It has made bedtime so stressful! I used to look forward to bedtime so I could have a moment of peace and time spent with my husband, but that hasn't worked out lately.

Tonight was definitely a miracle. The older kids were asleep by 8:30! Neither one got out of bed, goofed off or came up with excuse after excuse to come talk to us. It was wonderful! My husband and I had started watching Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows Part 1 last night and didn't get to finish it due to the kids getting up so much. So I am very happy that we get to cuddle up and finish watching it tonight :)

Who I Have Become

2011-07-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been having flashes of memories pop into my head from my teenage years and young adult years. I am so embarrassed by who I was. Especially because it wasn't the true me. I feel bad for those who were around me during those years.

I am very grateful though, for who I am today. What a blessing it has been to get to the point of being someone I am no longer ashamed to be. I know I still have a lot to work on, but what person doesn't have to work on themselves? I am a much better person than I used to be.

I am so blessed that even with all the mistakes that I made I was able to still end up with the man I was meant to marry, have children with and spend forever with. Life may be stressful and full of trials, but at least I get to go through it all with my husband by my side to help me through it.

Sleep Deprived Mom

2011-07-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

Last night my baby woke up at 3 am and didn't go back to sleep until 5 am. So needless to say, I barely slept last night. Running on not much sleep, I could hardly keep my eyes open. Yet I somehow managed to make it through the day. Not just make it through the day, but be able to take all 3 kids shopping at Goodwill and then go to the mall. After that I made a yummy, healthy dinner.

Sounds silly, but if you are a parent I am sure you understand what a blessing it is to be able to function as a parent after very little sleep.

Stuck in My Own Little World

2011-07-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

Some days are truly just too difficult to find a blessing or miracle. Today was very stressful. After 2 of the kids were asleep, I sat at the computer and put on music to try to lift my mood. My 3 month old lit up while I was singing. So I decided to find music videos that had the lyrics on it so I could sing more to her. She loved it. Not only did it make her happy, but it made me feel so much better. While singing inspirational lyrics I was touched by the spirit. I truly needed that after today. So a wonderful miracle happened after all.

This song is an amazing song and it got me thinking about how I need to get out my own little world.

Listen To The Sound

2011-07-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

I know that I already posted today, but as I listened to the radio this song came on. I have been feeling overwhelmed with life lately and this song was what I needed to hear tonight.

"Listen To The Sound" by Building 429

Are you in over your head
Are you in water so deep you're drowning
Do you think you've been left
And there is no one to feel your hurting
Well, everybody has been there
And everybody's felt lost
If you're in over your head
Lift it up, lift it up

Oh, listen to the sound of hope that's rising
Up over your horizon
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound
And listen to the sound of a new beginning
Oh, this is where the old is ending
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound

I hear you say you're alone
I hear you saying that you'll never make it
I've got to tell you you're wrong
'Cause I have been down this path you're taking
You never know what faith is
'Til you don't understand
Sometimes it takes a silence
To finally hear His plan

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
I once was lost, but now I'm found

His Grace is reaching for us
His Grace is reaching out
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound
Wherever you are

Day of Relaxing

2011-07-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a hectic day. I was running around from appointment to appointment and squeezing in the shopping too. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and hurting. So today was a much needed blessing. I never even left the house today!! :)

I sat and held my baby a lot today because she was really wanting to be loved on. Which was wonderful to get to do! It gave me a reason to sit and relax and it allowed me to get some quality cuddle time in with her. I got things accomplished today too. I made 2 cakes and 12 cupcakes for my daughter's Birthday. I made, colored and cut out of each of the planets (pretty much to scale) for the "Asteroid Toss" game we are going to do at her Birthday party. And I am about to sit and read books with my 4 year old.

I am so grateful for a more relaxed day!

Date Night

2011-07-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

My husband and I got to go out and have a date night. That doesn't happen very often so it was a big deal to me. My niece offered to watch the kids so that we could go out to a movie together. My husband and I have never been to a movie alone before! Until tonight, that is :)

It was so nice to spend time together. We had family time during the day, which was really nice. Then our date night of going to the movies and then getting ice cream afterward. I am so grateful for my niece and mom for watching the kids. And I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband to get to go on date nights with.