so many thoughts

Tick...Tock...

2011-01-25T08:26:00.005-06:00

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

These are lines from a famous song from RENT, a musical I love. Such an admission will probably alienate half of the folks that read this blog, but it’s true nonetheless. Though the story is admittedly a bit dark, I think it is a beautiful portrayal of community, love and acceptance.

The song goes on to list the many ways we might measure our time…

In daylights – in sunsets

In midnights – in cups of coffee

In inches – in miles

In laughter – in strife

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

in truth that she learned

or in times that he cried

in bridges he burned

or the way that she died

At the end of our lives, how will we decide or will others decide, how well we did on our journey? After the questions and wondering, the songwriter concludes that maybe there is a better measure of our lives.

How about love?

Of course as a Christian, I am sold out to the idea that this is definitively the way we should evaluate our lives. Remember that when Jesus was questioned about what the greatest thing is, he said, “Love God and love others”.

In RENT. a small group of artists clung to each other like their life depended on it…because it did. They offered each other grace, and unconditional acceptance. They loved without judgment because they recognized what many of us in the church have yet to realize – we need each other desperately.

January is almost gone and I am guessing many of us have already abandoned our New Year’s resolutions. So why not make a new one? Why not resolve to love more and better in 2011?

Why not set a real goal, an eternal goal to measure our time in LOVE. What would it mean id if love became the rubric by which we really measured our lives?

Confessions of a White Girl

2011-01-16T22:31:00.007-06:00

I have to admit that for most of my life, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was nothing more to me than a vague historical figure, and his birthday only a reason to have a day off of work. I was only eight years old when Dr King was assassinated, so I heard about him my whole life. Unfortunately, his message was part of the cultural noise that became the background of my life - always there, but nothing I paid much attention to. Even being able to quote snippets of his speech didn’t give me a real insight into his message.

Such is the way of ignorance.

As an adult, I learned to appreciate the importance of his work, but there was still a disconnect from MY life. Talk of injustice and the need for protest meant little to me. I have written before about the white, middle class, suburban Christian bubble that - for most of my life - insulated me from the reality of 99% of the planet. I somehow constructed a worldview and theology that rested heavily on a foundation of cause and effect, which basically means that people create their own luck. While there is certainly a grain of truth to this idea, it wrongly suggests that all misfortune can be traced to something the individual did wrong. This results in little compassion for those that struggle and little motivation to change the status quo. At one point in time, everything in my life was filtered through that lens: relationships, gender issues, economics, religion and justice. I believe strongly in personal responsibility, but no longer buy the idea that doing the right thing always brings the right result. Some people...

Work hard and still lose their homes
Love God and get sick
Invest in relationships and them watch them dissolve
Diligently teach and love their children, only to have them do stupid things
Are careful and conscientious and still become the victims of crime

Injustice happens.

Coming to grips with this has helped me to appreciate what King was saying and fighting for. As I have become increasingly interested in justice issues over the last few years, I have discovered the writings of King. Through his numerous speeches, sermons and essay, I have become captivated by his vision, his eloquence and his courage.

During my head-in-the-sand days, I honestly didn’t get that King’s work was about ALL of us and that we ignore injustice at our own peril. Today, I am not quite so unaware. Regardless of the political waves you ride, injustice is not a black issue, a woman’s issue or a victim’s issue. Injustice is a human issue...and concerns us all:

The fact that little girls are being sold as sex slaves...ALL of our problem
Children living without food, clean water or vaccinations...all of our problem
Women being brutalized by the men in their lives...all of our problem
The treatment of illegal immigrants...all of our problem
Discrimination because of race, gender or age...all of our problem

As a Christian, I particularly appreciate Dr. King’s view that his work with civil rights was part of his ministry and a natural outcome of the Gospel. During a 1967 sermon, he said that:

"...any religion that professes to be concerned about the souls of men and is not concerned about the slums that cripple the souls—the economic conditions that stagnate the soul and the city governments that may damn the soul—is a dry, dead, do-nothing religion”. full text here

There are many things I could say about Dr. King’s influence and the way our world is different because of him. But personally, Dr. King’s life and work is a reminder to not get so wrapped up in my own pursuits that I ignore what is happening around me. He also encourages me to not shake my head in a way that merely acknowledges others’ pain at a distance, but to engage it. Reminds me of some other famous words:

"Learn to do good.

Work for justice.

Help the down-and-out.

Stand up for the homeless.

Go to bat for the defenseless." Isaiah 1:17 (MSG)

Listening for Direction

2011-01-09T20:02:00.002-06:00

di·rec·tion [dɪˈrekʃ(ə)n] noun :

1. the general development or progress of

something or someone

2. the feeling of having a definite purpose

3. instructions for doing something or getting

to a place

I have often commented that I wish I had five lives to live. There are just so many things I want to do! But how do any of us decide which way to go? I am so aware that I will never be able to do everything, but by choosing a path means I am saying no to something else. And, I really HATE to miss out on anything! If I think too hard on such things, it paralyzes me, and I run the risk of doing nothing at all.

Often when looking for direction, we are searching for practical answers or solutions or answers to concrete situations. I am right there. I know that change is in the air for me and that I will be looking for some concrete answers in the coming months. But for right now, I think seeking direction is mostly about paying close attention…by listening to what is inside me and honoring what I believe to be true.

Listening isn’t always easy. We become accustomed to the noise and easily tune out things that are practically yelling at us. I live right in the middle of the fourth largest city in the country…and I loooove it. I especially enjoy the sounds. There is just something about the noise of the city that is comforting; the train that whistles every morning at 4am and the church bells that chime twice a day. Unfortunately, I have heard these things for several years now and barely notice them. It is rare that the train wakes me anymore or that the bells charm me. I have simply stopped listening. Usually it takes a visitor who comments on them to bring me back to the reality of their presence in my life.

In 2011, I want to listen closer…to God in me; to the wisdom that has been deposited there and in those around me. I want to feel deeper…by being fully present in the moments of my life and feeling it all. I don’t want to stuff what is really going on inside of me. I have spent a great deal of time in the last few years questioning and searching and want to have the courage to express all that I believe to be true.

And finally, I want to love more…and better, which may be the biggest challenge of all. To truly know how others need to be loved, (not just how I want them to treat me or how I want to feel), requires the greatest ability to listen, watch and pay attention.

My favorite sound in the neighborhood is the guy a few doors down who plays the sax. On random evenings, he will sit on his front porch and wail some wonderful jazz. The boy is good. I have never met this man, but every time I hear a note, I swing my door open and have a little listen. This coming year, I hope to respond to the important voices in my life the way I respond when I hear this man begin to blow...always noticing, always paying attention and always glad I did.

Experiencing God in the Moments of Our Lives

2010-10-31T21:49:00.001-05:00

What does it mean to experience God? Every church culture has their preferred answer to that question, and I have been around long enough to have seen it all. While I certainly acknowledge that God can do whatever he wants, I am concerned that our tendency is to confuse experiencing God with amusing ourselves. I fear that we seek the thrill of God like he is the latest amusement park ride or bungee jump.

Must ecstasy be necessary to validate a God encounter? What about the small, the subtle, the profound…or the ordinary? Have we been conditioned to believe that goose bumps are the ultimate symptom of an authentic encounter with God? Damn, I hope not - because I can get goosebumpy from hearing my daughter, Carlee, sing the national anthem :)

What if God is in the ordinary and we miss it because we are looking for the big and flashy? What if he is right there at the Little League game, at the homeless shelter, when you are making love to your wife, holding the hand of a friend, or noticing the green in the spring leaves?

Experiencing God isn’t just about having a feeling – as wonderful as that might be. It's about relationship…you know, that messy stuff that encompasses the good, the bad, the attractive and the ugly. God wants us to experience him in the moments of our lives and to respond with questions, the frustrations, the wonder and the awe that really come out of our experiences.

How do we cultivate an existence where experiencing God is a lifestyle? My hunch is that it is primarily about awareness…looking around and taking the time to notice. How different might things be if I viewed every situation of my life as an opportunity to encounter God in some way, which turns into a reason for relationship? Maybe the experience of the ordinary would be sweeter and the pain of the struggles would not be so lonely.

Been Dumpster Diving Lately?

2010-10-24T17:50:00.003-05:00

So...why is it that we gravitate towards what is not good for us? Why do we insist on foraging for pleasure so desperately that we will even ignore the long-term results of our actions?

It amazes me every time!

I am just like you…I want to feel good. I want to be comfortable, accepted, whole, affirmed, filled and loved. And sometimes, I grab whatever is in reach to dull the ache of longing. It’s like dumpster diving in the back of an alley while on our way to an amazing feast. We settle for less that we desire and then have no appetite for what will be immensely more satisfying (an amazing analogy that I can't take credit for). Unfortunately we consistently choose instant gratification – a piece of cake...a little lie...a hidden drink...an angry word…an elicit relationship - over what is ultimately best for us.

Currently, I am reeling a bit from this very thing - having contented myself with less than G-d wants for me in a certain area of life. And while I would like to say that I have learned a valuable lesson, I don’t really believe this is all about G-d teaching me a lesson. To walk by faith and to leap into the fog means we will make some stupid mistakes along the way. And the cool thing is that I am convinced it is all okay with G-d. In fact, I think he wants it that way. His grace abounds because he knows that we are feeling our way along and only see in part. And, ultimately, it is about knowing him better.

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely” – I Cor 13:12 (NLT).

He is immensely pleased to walk with us and share in ALL the moments of our lives and to propel us into deeper relationship with him where we come to learn more about ourselves and more about him.

If there is any lesson here, it is to remember that the one that knows me best and loves me most is always whispering into my heart and when I choose not to listen, then I can’t really be surprised at the results. But in it all...if I press in...I get to learn who he is; why his wisdom is so perfect and his love so great.

And nothing could be better...

Are We On The Right Track?

2010-10-16T22:17:00.002-05:00

It is no secret that I love the church-all of it. I think G-d in his brilliance uses conservative, liberal, evangelical, charismatic, liturgical, emergent, missional, seeker-sensitive, house churches and mega churches (and those I left out) to reach the world.

In my little corner of the world, I have settled into a tradition that is closest to my own understanding of how I want to represent Jesus. But even here, I am always rethinking and questioning how we are doing at carrying out our mission.

Actually…I am quite the nerd.

Don’t tell anyone, but I even keep a list of things I hope the church can be...and I add to it regularly. I dream of communities where people co-exist in mission and purpose and love in such a way that the world takes notice.

The following posts contain material I wish I had written. If you are interested in thinking...really thinking...about what it is we are doing as we construct our institutions, you must check these out.

Johnathan Brink posted this video where Darryl Gardine discusses discipleship in a way that may make you very uncomfortable, but I think he is spot on. Jonathan says that,

"It’s interesting to me that much of conversations on following Jesus have to do with right or wrong, when Jesus was primarily focused on love, and stepping into spaces where people had already gotten it wrong."

He really presses hard on some points and I probably disagree with some things he says about the church. BUT...I really hear what this guy is saying and wholeheartedly agree that we should be seriously examining our institutions by asking the question, "What did Jesus come to establish?"

In this post, Kathy Escobar challenges the American church to begin living the truth by becoming places that help restore dignity. The post is long, but well worth the read. Check this out:

"i really believe the world doesn’t need another sandwich board church sign on the corner announcing really good coffee & fun for families. the world needs people willing to restore dignity where it’s been lost."

Can I get an amen?

Purpose and Perspective

2010-10-11T22:07:00.028-05:00

If someone were to ask you, “What is your life’s purpose”, how would you respond? Can you articulate your core values and what your life is about? Make no mistake…your life will be about something. And, to the end that you get a grip on that, it will affect the way you see everything and your ability to find joy.

I spoke yesterday on that topic and looked in Philippians at the connection between joy, hardship/suffering and purpose. I thought G-d was exhibiting his sense of humor when I realized that, once again, I would be talking on the topic of mission and purpose. I love the topic a little too much, but really…how much can these people listen to me talk about this? But the connection between Paul’s purpose and his perspective on his life was just too great to not share!

Paul’s life was ultimately about one thing….and everything else served that purpose. Because of his clarity, he could endure all manner of crappy circumstances and be joyful. His purpose caused him to have godly perspective and, in the end, all that mattered was that G-d had his way! When we aren’t joyful I think it is because we have lost touch with what our life is about. We get so focused on the minutiae and the minute by minute without looking at the big picture and remembering there is a master architect…and it is his job to make sense of things. Or we don’t really believe that he is in it with us, so we are overcome with fear and doubt

Foundationally our purpose is going to have something to do with the story…the redeeming of humanity back to the Father. I want us to be so convinced of our purpose that we walk into every situation knowing we are “sent ones”. Sent to “shine as stars in the universe” and sent to “hold out the word of life” to people who need it. Oh my, if we really believed that was true, it certainly might bring some perspective into the difficulties of life.

I must admit though…right at this moment….at 6:45am on Monday morning…I don’t feel “sent”. I am struggling with some personal issues and, frankly whining a bit to G-d. So, looking around the coffee shop, I have no clue of what G-d is doing with all these people, and I am not sure I care.

But that’s ok…I know it will pass.

I believe that what I spoke yesterday is true and even when I feel at my worst, most selfish self, G-d always breaks in. Because, fundamentally, it is his deal…its all up to G-d!

“Are you struggling to find joy or to rejoice in what is on your plate? I am confident that he will complete the work he began in you….No matter what the circumstances, the trials, failures or hardships you have had or are continuing to endure...I am confident that G-d is doing an amazing work in you and will complete that work. He won't leave you hanging...he won't leave you confused...he won't leave you disappointed...he is faithful to the end! (Beth's paraphrase of Phil 1:6)

How is that for perspective?

So, as G-d always does, he reminds me of my purpose. I am sent in the moments of my life to help people connect to God…even when I don’t feel like it, and even when I would rather wallow in my own stuff.

Remembering this causes my perspective to change and then the questions change. Instead if whining, “Why am I experiencing this?”, “When will this end”, or “Why, G-d?, I can ask, “What pain is this person in?” and “How does she/he need to encounter G-d?”. Not only do I then see people differently, I can press through fatigue, frustration and inconvenience.

And at the end of the day…I am glad!

Check out the following to get an amazing glimpse of the story!

Following Anyway

2010-10-04T06:15:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I attended a women’s conference featuring Brenda Gatlin, a pastor from the Duluth Vineyard. I just have to say…she was refreshing and delightful and spoke straight from her heart to the hearts of the women who were there.

On Friday night, Brenda used her own story through the lens of Peter as a model for discipleship. Her vulnerability was so welcoming, and immediately helped her connect as she shared her failures and shortcomings. She reminded us that if we press into God, we are transformed into people who are safer, more useable and more humble. When she said “You make a pretty good leader when you are broken”…I knew she was dead on.

As a woman that has seen her share of heartache and personal crisis, I was totally tracking with her. In the midst of my pain and struggles, I have pressed in close to the Father hoping to not get bitter, but to be transformed.

Sometimes I don’t do so well at that…but God has been good to me!

Because of my experiences, I know that I am safer, more trustworthy, and more compassionate and empathetic. I am not near as apt to judge, but to listen and try to point people to the source where I have received healing and transformation. It is embarrassing to think about the years I spent judging everyone who didn’t do things the way I did, our who had different circumstances. The truth is, I have done those very things things - sometimes things I could never have fathomed I would ever do. And while I don’t cherish the fact that I am so weak, I do appreciate what is has allowed me to feel for others.

On a side note, I think this is the great tragedy of the suburban, affluent church that sustains itself on the positive, feel-good messages we often see on Christian television. We lack compassion and empathy for the struggles that others experience when we feel entitled as Christians. Or worse, we assume they are somehow responsible for their misfortunes and add guilt to their portfolio of grief. (I am thinking specifically about Pat Robertson’s recent diatribe surrounding the Haiti disaster). Then, we politicize and theologize our positions…and break God’s heart.

One of the most powerful things Brenda said was when she reminded us that God knew all along that Peter would be a screw up. He knew there would be unrestrained zeal and denials…and he chose him anyway. God sees forward to what we will become as we are transformed. He see past our failures into our preferred future and how we will be useful because of who we are becoming.

Now, the trick is to learn to see ourselves the way God does and stop disqualifying ourselves. We are often the ones who take ourselves out of the game…not him. He is the one cheering us along to the finish line!

Can’t you just hear Jesus saying the same thing to you?

Follow me…even though you will mess us up.

Follow me…even though I know you will be a failure as a disciple.

Follow me…even though you won’t follow very well.

Follow me…even when you feel unworthy and full of shame.

Follow me...because I am at work in you to will and to act according to my good purpose. (Phil 2:13)

Male-Female Friendships

2010-09-26T20:18:00.005-05:00

Those who know me best know that I really don’t do conflict well. Though very opinionated, I shy away from what will bring too much offense or rock anyone’s religious boat. But recently, I made a new commitment to express myself without all the fear. So…here goes!

The subject of intimacy is still continuing to swirl around in my head and I am reading several books that are feeding the frenzy: Desiring the Kingdom by James Smith, Original Blessing by Matthew Fox and Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions (SUSP) by Dan Brennan.

I have intended for months to write a review on Brennan's book, but kept procrastinating. Admittedly, its controversial subject matter probably has something to do with it. SUSP champions cross-gender friendships for singles and married folks. Dan truly is a voice crying out for balance and sanity in the evangelical world of fear. His premise is simply that “Romantic intimacy is not everything”. When romance is the only script for our relationships, it leaves them one-dimensional, shallow and, I believe, less than G-d desires for vital and healthy Christian communities.

I have shared his book with a handful of my closest friends, those who know me best and are committed to working out community together. Largely, however, I have kept this all under the radar. This has not been an easy topic for me to embrace for reasons I would rather not go into here. But Dan’s recent blog post is bringing me out of the closet! He is finally touching on the thing that has been getting under my skin for years now – the way that singles in the church are expected to understand, process and experience intimacy. Suffice it to say, I cannot ignore Brennan's challenges to look to the biblical and historical evidence that offers a more complex and thorough picture of what singleness could look like.

One of Dan's most compelling points for me is his look at Freud’s influence on our romantic culture, which has resulted in a tendency to sexualize all of our relationships. This entrenched idea has made it difficult to explore other scenarios for healthy cross-gender relating. If there is a level of attraction, romance seems to be the only option. If there is no romantic potential or legitimate reasons why a romantic trajectory can’t or shouldn’t happen, the relationship isn’t nurtured. The default is to pull away in fear because people just don’t know how to maneuver attraction.

Also important is Brennan's serious look at how Jesus navigated his relationships with women. For example, most of us would be extremely uncomfortable if we were witnessing some of the intimate scenes in which Jesus allowed himself to be with women. Most of us would cry foul and scream all manner of warnings to this single man who allowed touch and extravagant emotion to be poured out to him. To be single in today’s evangelical world is to be so afraid of sexual sin that we ignore the sexual nature of our humanity – denying touch and emotional closeness to one another. The single Jesus didn’t do that, so why do we think we can?

When Jesus prays in John 17 that we may be one like he is one with the Father, does he just mean married folks? When we read about the Trinity and imagine what their dance of unity is like – that interplay of vulnerability and beauty – is it implied that singles just miss out? I want to lift my voice with Brennan’s and shout – NO.

As a single woman in an evangelical setting, I feel a real tension about this topic. I know that it is not good for us to be alone, but filling my aloneness goes way beyond the need for occasional companionship. I have lots of friends….lots. But I need intimacy with others – women and men - and I don’t believe G-d intends for me to be left out of emotionally rich relationships because I am single. To be honest, I am getting really tired of the shame singles feel when they express desire and longing for intimacy. We (singles) are told that Jesus is enough to meet our needs and that these feelings must be repressed until a romantic partner come along.

Once again I must ask, "where is it written?”

I think Brennan is on to something when he suggests that maybe there is so much sexual sin because we have not learned to relate in healthier and more complete ways with one another.

I am not saying it is easy. Nor am I saying that there aren’t some tricky things to navigate. But what I am saying is that if anyone can get it right, it is us – those of us that are filled with the Holy Spirit and commanded to love. If anyone should struggle to figure this out, we must – those of us who are born from the perichoresis into the dance of community, with the Trinity and with one another.

When We Are Old

2010-09-17T08:21:00.005-05:00

I am currently captivated by the following poem. Maybe it is the bittersweet melancholy that drips from each line. Or maybe it is the way it speaks to the youth-obsessed love culture of the 21st century, which worships beauty and perfection.

Yeats champions the strength and longevity of true love and challenges us to look beyond the superficial to the beauty of the soul and the “changing faces” of age. His words reinforce what we already know to be true - that the greatest thing is to be known deeply and loved in a way that isn’t diminished by the years.

It is also a poem about looking back and wondering if you made the right choices in life and love. We know that one slight shift in direction can propel us in vastly different directions.

What will we think back on as we age? What will we regret and what will we cherish? What tales of love and loss will invade our memories? What will our stories tell of how we loved and were loved?

When You Are Old

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

- William Butler Yeats

Loving Fearlessly

2010-08-21T14:54:00.002-05:00

Well, apparently the topic of love is more scandalous than I thought. I have received more personal messages and had more private conversations about this topic than anything else I have ever written about. My writing, combined with a couple of recent sermons have created quite the stir.

Interestingly, along with the fabulous conversation and intrigue, I have had a great deal of pushback. When discussing fierce and extravagant love, there is a huge “but” that eventually enters every conversation. “Yeah that was good for Jesus...BUT”. Or the inevitable, “But we are supposed to guard our hearts.”

No offense, but I don’t think we are supposed to be guarding our hearts from love. Love is the reason we exist. We are born from love into love, remember. And when Jesus was asked what was the most important thing, he said love. Of all the things he could have told us to focus on, of all the thousands of points from the law he could have pointed to, he chose love…love G-d and love others.

Undoubtedly the greatest bulk of pushback centers on the sacred “B” word - boundaries. Ok…I know this is going to upset a ton of people but I just don’t see it. I fully understand the need for boundaries in many scenarios where power has been abused. But, here I am referring to our routine practice of using boundaries as an excuse to hide our hearts in a way that stifles true and extravagant love.

Can someone...anyone…give me a clear example of Jesus boundaries in regards to love? I fear our boundaries are way more about us than about the other person. It is not that I disagree with the concept. I just think we go about willy-nilly demanding our space inside our boundaries that we have erected. Ultimately boundaries protect, they keep in, they keep out, and they stake a claim. I have no claims on my life. If my life is not my own, then any boundaries in my life must be drawn by my father. Remember, he draws them in perfect places (Ps 16:6).

I really do get it - the topic intrigues us and scares us at the same time. But foundationally, these objections are cloaked in fear. We are terrified of getting hurt and are cautious of giving too much, lest we be labeled codependent. We carefully construct our boundaries and give only enough to test the waters for reciprocity, finally giving out in tiny thimble-fulls in order not to lose too much if love isn’t returned.

Instead of extravagant...we are stingy.

The funny thing is that every person that has these big objections, also has a glimmer of desire for the very thing they are objecting to. I see a lurking hope that maybe, just maybe we can learn to love like Jesus. Maybe we can press through our fear and learn to love fiercely with abandon, and life-giving way.

I want to be fearless in my love and the love of the father through me...

Worth a try don’t you think?

The Church - God's Love Gift

2010-08-14T21:26:00.004-05:00

The following is a recap of a recent sermon.

So lots and lot of churchy people are using the word ‘missional’ these days. In fact, it has been the buzzword du jour for a while now. On any given day, my Google reader has some blog or site where someone is discussing this topic. Now, I certainly don’t presume to know more than these fine folks who are writing such profound things. But I often have a nagging feeling that many are missing the point.

Missional isn’t so much about what we do…it's who we are. DNA is everything! Missional cannot simply be a word layered on top of the programs we do or another idea tossed around at leader meetings. Instead, it must be systemic, oozing from our pores as the people we are. Being missional changes the rubric through which we measure everything. Indeed, when we are missional and organic in our practices, the small is large. Through a missional lens, we see God in every encounter, and every relationship becomes precious.

If being missional is not systemic, the church can quickly become a place where no one wants to be and where burnout is rampant.

The Church Is a Gift

Foundationally, we are a gift…G-ds love gift to the world. It is not so much that we bring the gift, but we ARE the gift. Collectively, we – this crazy and messed up group of people - somehow gift and bless the world…hopefully! (Genesis 12, Ephesians 3:10)

Gifts Are a Blessing

I have never met anyone who would admit they do not like to receive gifts. Instead, we all love gifts because they are a blessing; they are treats that express care and love. We give gifts hoping they will be loved and cherished and useful. Soooo, if the church is intended to be a blessing to the receiver (world)…we should hope to be helpful and useful and welcome...because we express life. Additionally, a gift blesses the giver. Isn't it so much fun to watch someone open a gift we have lovingly chosen?

So if gifts bless the receiver and the giver...how are we doing? Are we a blessing to the world? Are we a blessing to God?

As a gift to the world, we should strive to be..

1 Agents of health, restoration and wholeness (Isaiah 61) - We should extend God's Kingdom in the form of freedom and forgiveness. We know Jesus said this about himself and the early church freely offered these to the world. Read through Acts 9 and see how normative the supernatural was in the lives of these people. It was a matter of course to pray and expect miracles and see freedom. So, what about us? Are we agent so healing? Or do we walk in doubt, fear and unbelief, acting as if bondage is normative and G-d is not very big?

2 A model of new life and community - If Jesus came to give us our lives back…what does that look like? Our communities should be a pretty good picture of a new way of life. Ephesians 5 is a great picture of this, where we see a model of life - where the rubber meets the road Christianity. In this new community, we will live like we get it…like it's all true. We will live worthy and new - completely humble and gently, patient, bearing with one another and no longer live in darkness. We will stop lying and stealing, we wil watch our anger and be useful and give to those in need. We will work to rid ourselves of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, and be kind, compassionate and forgiving to one another.

Paul encourages these things not to be rigid or rules oriented, but to suggest that we want to offer something to people that is bigger and grander than the old way of life.

Soooo...what do our communities model... lives of love or of bitterness, unforgiveness , jealousy and anger?

3 A place of mission and purpose - We exist for others and not for ourselves. This is a gift to the world because it speaks of a G-d in motion…who is active to redeem and restore. Our reflection of this to the world should bring hope. As they see us as people of purpose it should scream, “This is who G-d is…he purposes to gain you...and we are partnering with him to that end"

This may sound harsh, but I believe that the Church, by and large, has abandoned its mission…and has become impotent to reach a hurting culture. Sadly, we have replaced vital spirit-filled churches with beautiful buildings filled with attractive, politically active people more concerned with spreading the gospel of a good moral code than the life-changing message of the Gospel. As a result, Christianity is reduced to a set of formulas and me-centered theology. We need a wholesale change in thought from building an organization to building the Kingdom of God, which is the real purpose of the church. When the Kingdom again becomes our focus, other things take care of themselves. Like Paul, we will do whatever it takes in whatever culture to assure that the message is preached.

What does the 'gift of us' say to others about G-d’s care for them? Does our existence scream G-d loves you? Or have we instead become a comfortable country club that exists for ourselves. Have we developed a subtle theology that pits us vs them? Or have our religious structures become more important than the individuals they are supposed to touch?

Is G-d really gifting the world with us? And what is underneath the wrapping?

A Name Change

2010-08-01T21:37:00.011-05:00

When I got married at 19, I was happy to take my husband’s name. In fact, it never crossed my mind…not once...that I wouldn’t become a Hoover. It is what I wanted, after all. It was an outward and very public act of declaring that I was attached to another. I mean, the ultimate act of getting entangled in another’s life would be to legally change the most foundational of things about you…your name.

So why??? Why now am I considering changing back to my maiden name?

In thinking about this subject, I am tempted to write about something profound: why "naming" in patriarchal cultures is all about power, or why it is that only women are asked to give up their names when men aren’t. I could ponder why men and women aren’t, instead, encouraged to cooperate to construct a separate identity once they become connected. That would be way cool - the ultimate act of oneness…something totally new!

But I don’t really want to get into any of that.

When I first divorced, people asked me if I would take my maiden name again and I didn’t even get the question. I married young, so I was a Hoover longer than I was an Alford, after all. Plus, my kids all used the name Hoover.

But – time has passed, circumstances have changed and now...i think...it's time.

Three things have precipitated this decision: my former husband's remarriage, my mother-in-law's death, and becoming re-aquainted with my maiden name!

I have felt a dis-ease with my last name for some time...Hoover just doesn’t fit me anymore. It feels awkward - like wearing a dress that is too tight or shoes that on the wrong feet. I mean, really, the only reason I have this name is that once in my life I was married to a man. And, well...we have not been married for a very, very long time.

Because I tend to do things very slowly, I have been chewing on this for awhile and first asked my kids how they would feel if I changed my name. No worries there! So I have slowly tested it out. First, I added Alford to my name on my Facebook profile and began to get used to seeing it again. And I have found it is like an old friend. I recently reconnected with an old friend from High School – who only knows me as Alford. And when he calls me by that name, it just seems right.

I wish I could go by Simply Elizabeth Ann and leave it at that. I wish I had a cool and unique enough first name that I didn’t need a string of titles that represent the men in my life to identify me. You know…Cher or Prince or something! But, alas, a last name is necessary. So, I choose to abandon the only last name I have had for 29 years in order to come closer to who I really am today!

I have to admit...its kind of scary! I know it will take some time to adjust and get used to...and the legal part will be a headache. But, here goes...doing another hard thing in order to be true to myself :)

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Fighting Injustice by Giving up Power

2010-07-10T11:54:00.002-05:00

Ok…so I have watched the musical, Hairspray, at least a couple of dozen times. I know every bar of the music, every lyric and every nuance of the story line. It is fluffy and silly with lots of singing and dancing.

So why did I find myself wiping away tears when I watched it today? Why the hell was I crying at a silly, feel-good musical?

For some reason…today…I was struck by the beautiful portrayal of how ordinary people can fight injustice.

If you don’t know the story, it is centered on a dance show that caters to white, middle class teens during the early 60s. Things are disrupted when a very talented, but overweight, girl gets on the show, much to the dismay of the more beautiful people who like the status quo of the privileged. She props open the door to the wider issue of racial segregation that was prevalent during the time. The story climaxes when a young black girl (Inez) wins the ultimate dance competition and everything explodes. Finally, blacks and whites dancing together on TV for the first time.

So, here is the part that got to me. Little Inez was very talented, but that wasn’t enough. No one would ever know what she had to offer as long as she stayed in the shadows. Because of the climate of her environment, her talent alone would never get her on that stage. It took a white, good-looking, popular man to invite her to play. It took someone who already had the stage to risk for her.

Of course, this made me think of the injustices in the church with regards to gender and race and what it will take to make a way for everyone to play. I am certainly not the first one to say this, but seeing this movie today made me see the truth in a whole new way. If the church is going to fight injustice, people with power and privilege and influence must make a way for others. They must RISK that privilege on behalf of those that don’t have it; risking their own reputations, status and futures to give others a chance. They must look around at who is in the shadows exhibiting the talents, calling and gifts...and then invite them on the stage.

In the movie, once the dancing broke out, the host of the show walked off stage and grabbed the hand of the black hostess (Queen Latifah) who had also been marginalized. He pulled her on stage saying, “This is your time”. He took himself out of the limelight and put another in his place.

This is a crucial piece. Change won’t simply come by those marginalized making a big stink and demanding a forum. It will take people who will go beyond merely advocating for others with words, but who will also give up their place, taking others by the hand, pushing them into the spotlight and saying, “It’s your time.”

Wow…where are those guys?

don't shoot...

2010-04-16T02:35:00.000-05:00

I held a gun for the first time in my life a few weeks ago. A friend was showing me his impressive gun collection and I soon found myself looking down the barrel of a huge shotgun that seemed as big as me!

The image still makes me chuckle.

I have never liked guns, which is really not fair considering I have not been around them. I have always thought of myself as a bit of a pacifist. While I have no problem with people owning guns nor any moral objection to hunting, the thought of shooting at a person, especially to defend myself, is something I never really thought I could do. I have some lofty theological arguments for this position, but I will spare you.

The truth is - theology aside - I have come to realize that in any given moment, I am probably capable of anything.

I am not typically a very fearful person when it comes to my physical safety. My fears lie elsewhere :) But recently, there have been a series of things that have made me wonder...

There have been a recent string of serious aggravated robberies and assaults at the University of Houston. The latest happened in an adjacent parking lot to where I was last week at the same moment I was leaving campus.

It creeped me out.

I live by myself in the middle of Houston...not far from some pretty rough parts of town. My old house would be no match for someone wanting to get in. Anyone could easily break down the door with a strong kick.

Sometimes, if I let myself think about it, it creeps me out.

Lastly is the increased violence at the border. The stories coming back from Reynosa are getting more serious every month. I am scheduled to preach down there next month and the thought crossed my mind that maybe I should be alarmed. I am not, really, but maybe I should be.

So sitting here in the middle of the night...in this old house...in this rough neighborhood...alone...I wonder if maybe I should take friends' advice and get a gun.

But...that really creeps me out :)

Scandalous Intimacy

2010-03-12T04:03:00.006-06:00

This post is a recap of a recent sermon - Experiencing God in Community. I have had numerous people ask me to blog about it, so here is the first in what will, undoubtedly, be several posts.

Community is hardly a new topic. In fact, it is such a buzzword in the Christian world, that it has become cliché and almost lost its meaning. It has been used at too many conferences and in too many blogs and books. Unfortunately, the authentic expression of community is too often absent in our day to day lives.

So instead of the C word, I choose to use the words connection and intimacy, which better describes what we are really longing for. This is the itch we are trying to scratch when we talk about community.

The Dance of the Trinity

The Trinity is the ultimate model for connection and intimacy. They/He/It is a mystery I can't begin to truly understand, let alone explain. But, of course, I have to give it a try.

Instead of drawing on the typical, and static, analogies that attempt to describe the big 3 (apples etc), I am interested in exploring the dynamic interaction amidst their/his intimacy. The Greek term, perichoresis, gives this a shot; imaging their interplay as a dance...a movement of love...a veritable love fest. Think John 17.

What a fabulous picture. To dance suggests precision, mutuality and working together with purpose. Instead of power struggles, there is delight. The grace and beauty of this imagery is winsome and compelling.

Born in Love

It is out of this dance of intimacy, this love fest, that we were created. The Trinity, pregnant with love, exploded with creation. We were not birthed from isolation into isolation, or from community into isolation. But we were created from community into community - from intimacy into intimacy.

It is not good for man to be alone, remember.

And while it may be tempting to leave such intimacy within the realm of marriage, that would be a mistake. As Jesus is praying for us, he asks:

“That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:21-23)

He is speaking of us...all together...the church.

Relating in Love

There is something of the mystery of the dynamic interplay of connection amongst the Trinity that is supposed to be reflected within our communities. This is not a fakey, smile on Sunday and hit your fine button, shallow relationship. Instead it is the language of intimacy. Connection. Knowing. Being known.

Some of the language used when talking about this concept is indwelling, or interpenetration - not so scandalous when we think about the mystery of the trinity. But how do we discuss indwelling and interpenetration amongst flesh and blood people?

Tim MacGraw has a love song where he is croons and swoons away about his intense need for the object of his affection:

“I need you…
Like a needle needs a vein
Like Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs a rain
I need you like a lighthouse on the coast
Like the father and the son needs the holy ghost
I need you”

What if it’s true? What if I need you like the Father and the Son need the Holy Ghost?

Well, it just might be scandalous.

Here's To The Girls!

2010-03-08T17:21:00.006-06:00

For those of you who don’t keep up with such things, today is International Women’s Day (IWD) – a day inaugurated in 1910 to focus on issues of justice and equity for women.

I wanted to write something to commemorate this event…but what? I could blather on about how gender injustice is alive and well, or risk boring you with an academic discussion about the women’s movement. But I can think of no greater tribute to this day then to share with you about the amazing women in my own life. None of them are famous…but to me, they are extraordinary. These are the women who have inspired, challenged, and loved me. Through their ordinary living they exhibit courage, grace, tenacity, passion, faith and creativity. And in doing so, have had a profound impact on my life.

To be sure, these women are hardly perfect. They live in the same insecurities, dysfunction and humanity of us all. But as image bearers, they truly reflect G-d to the world in special ways.

I think I need to start with my mom. I haven’t always had great things to say about her. Indeed, ours has been a difficult relationship marked more by distance than intimacy. But I have come to appreciate some things about her that make her remarkable and that have been instrumental in the woman I have become.

First, my mom is smart…very smart. Though she has little formal education, she is curious, self-taught and reads like no one else I know. Don’t even get her started about obscure southern history. You will lose! I am sure that my intellectual bent, curiosity and love of knowledge and learning come from her. The other thing that is remarkable I just realized this year. My mom hates racism and taught me the same. I have often wondered why I have the strong feelings I do about equality and racial justice. I recently learned that from the age of 2, I had friends of different races, often spending the night with them when that was frowned on. Mom has cool stories about in-your-face confrontations with people on this issue and about my naïve questioning when other friends or grandparents balked at these relationships. Both my love of learning and being drawn to ethnic diversity have become cornerstones of my life. Thanks mom!

From here, my world of women explodes. My numerous aunts, cousins, sisters and daughters are some of the strongest and most creative people on the planet. They are educators, musicians, lawyers, artists, adventurers, nurturers, survivors, dancers, leaders, mentors and theologians.

When I think back on the places I have lived, it is often the women who stand out. They are the ones that work hard to make community happen, modeling faith and service and nurturing relationships. It is the women who were quick to develop and lead ministries, nurse the sick, feed the hungry and teach G-d’s word.

I think of the women who were instrumental in planting a new church in Lake Jackson in the mid-nineties. There were many, but in particular Julie, Michelle, Christie, Susan, Faith, Tracie, Lett, Valerie, Sharron and Sandy caught a vision for a community of faith that caused them to work tirelessly to make it happen. Their passion and service helped create a place that continues to make a difference in people’s lives. While we were all together, these particular women loved G-d and each other with an intensity that changed my life.

And they taught me how to really love other women.

Some of my newest female friends humble me with their skill and their passion. Jill, Jessica, Marcie, Julie, Heather, Donna P, Donna B and Elizabeth challenge me on a daily basis and keep me on my toes. They force me to keep growing and press into God in new ways to become the best me possible.

I think the women who inspire me most are those that have continued to grow as they age. Instead of being content with the status quo, these women flourish, try new things and reinvent their lives with great courage. I know countless women who are going back to school, changing careers and taking risks in order to make a difference in the world. Specifically I think of Tricia, who changed gears mid stream to pursue a call to rescue abused and neglected children. This former interior designer now runs a fully licensed foster care and adoption agency. My good friend, Jill, gave up a high powered and creative position in the corporate world to follow her passion to pastor children. Robin is finishing her Mdiv, Donna is running political campaigns and Rose, a pastor in Seattle, is forging new paths as a female senior leader in the Vineyard Movement.

Finally, there are those women who are simply heroic to me. Evelyn is one. When most people are glancing towards their rocking chairs, she planted another church. Living in community with her for a couple of years helped cement in me the reality that I want to do this for the rest of my life. Another is Clara who took over as Senior Pastor when her husband became sick. Both of these women spoke into my future by their example and by affirming my leadership – and they probably have no idea.

There are undoubtedly others, but people will only read so many paragraphs!

So, in observation of IWD, I hope you will join me to think about the contributions of the important women in your life.

Clinging to Life

2010-01-24T05:42:00.001-06:00

I don't want to die...

Great way to start a blog post, right? Sorry to be so abrupt, but this is where I am - 4:30am and contemplating my stubborn resistance to death.

Death has always been a primary and powerful metaphor for my walk as a believer. I deeply believe that the only way to truly live is to die - to my comfort, my way, my sin, my agenda, my passions, my dreams, my longings, my hopes, my expectations, my ambition, my insecurities, my fears and my preferences. Personal experience testifies that death brings the real me to life!

This week, I went back and re-listened to a talk I heard last year by Cherith Fee-Nordling, who discussed death in the context of becoming heroic leaders. Even months later, I was shocked at the power that came through the computer as I listened and was reminded of this important truth.

Cherith talked about how the Evangelical Church is always trying to rescuscitate itself. We cannot make ourselves pull the plug, no matter what glory might be waiting on the other side. Instead, we cling to the mediocre, the stale, the inadequate and the broken - because it's what we know. But Jesus came to give us our life back.

This week I am wrestling with myself and with G-d. But really what I am doing is prolonging pulling the plug. My struggling, discomfort and anxiety are all a result of me trying to resuscitate myself. I don't want to die. It is painful, true. But mostly, it is just plain scary. To die means things will change - the world will look differntly and I will be challenged to do things I never conceived.

Okay, you see where this is headed? I know what I must do...can someone hand me the plug...?

Christmas Makes It Personal

2009-12-25T14:34:00.001-06:00

Over 2000 years ago, G_d put into action his plan to make things personal.

Ours is not a nameless, faceless religion that encourages hoping in hope in order to feel good or to bring order to our lives. Faith has an object. Hope has a direction. Our story is centered on the one true G_d...on the creator so big, I can't even bring myself to write his name anymore. And it is focused on this one who wants us so much, he made it personal.

He didn't set the world in motion, cross his arms and watch glibly to see how it all turns out. He took all the initiative to reach out and have relationship with us...and to LOVE us.

"I am coming to you...I am entering your situation, your pain, your joy, your relationships. your brokenness. I am entering your world to:

Set the captive free...freedom

Bind up the brokenhearted...healing

Release prisoners form darkness...light

Comfort all who mourn...joy

Provide for those who grieve...gladness"

These are not mere words, my friends. These are the points where the creator of the universe makes it personal with us. Where do you need freedom, healing, light, joy or gladness? This is where he interacts with us. If we can set aside pride and fear, disillusionment and doubt, we can have the greatest treasure of all...

a personal encounter with the one who knows us best and loves us most.

Church On The Patio!

2009-12-06T18:03:00.002-06:00

I have often said how much I love the church. And I mean it. I love it in all its shapes, forms and mutations.

And, last night I found church in a most unlikely scenerio.

You might not call it church. We weren't in a church building, no one whipped out their bibles, and we decidedly drank too much wine. But, I think God loved what he saw as we had really great communion and encouragement in the Father.

Six of us gathered on the back patio until 3am talking about books, movies, our future, theology and gender issues :) In this small group, most of us are in our forties and we have lived a lot of life together. This intimacy allowed for some arguing, some conflict, some tears and some prayer. Sprinkled throughout was the God-talk of people who want to draw close to God and make their lives make sense in his purposes and plans.

Jesus tells us that where two or more are gathered in his name, he will be there.

And he was.

Gender Fundamentalism

2009-12-01T17:35:00.002-06:00

When I talk about gender, it is often in the context of the church and my desire that we find a scriptural basis for out ideas. But truly, the church has no corner on error. Check out this post about gender in our culture where Kimberly states that:

Secular culture has a gender fundamentalism as ingrained as the religious kind. The rules about masculinity and femininity that have too often been assumed within American history (or that are currently being dictated from popular movies and books!) seem to me as damaging as any dogma coming from churches.

If you can't read her whole post, be sure to read the discussion about gender portrayal in Twilight. It is so easy to brush this stuff off as irrelevant or extreme. But that thinking only goes to prove the point.

Faith or Fantasy - Hope or Illusion?

2009-11-29T22:05:00.011-06:00

Today is the first Sunday of Advent - traditionally focused on the theme of hope. So I thought this would be a good time to write about something I have been thinking about for a few weeks:

What is the difference between faith and fantasy, hope and illusion?

I have been accused of being a blind optimist – of possessing a Polyanna-ish view of life that doesn’t jive with reality. I see it differently. I like to think I live with a godly hope and not simply unbounded optimism. When confronted with impossible looking scenarios I usually have hope - for justice, reconciliation, repentance, healing, or transformation. I have an unshakable faith in God’s nature, in his goodness and faithfulness.

I also have a faith in his people and in his church. I have a belief that we can be a different kind of people. I don’t believe we possess an unrealistic perfection that has no room for our humanity. Instead, our identity takes into account our weaknesses and sinfulness but is overshadowed by the truth that we are Gods people – and that the truth of the Gospel can actually make a difference in our lives.

This has been severely challenged recently as I have watched people close to me struggle in painful and devastating situations. Families exploding, pastors falling, addictions running rampant – its just too much. One day I was sharing with a friend and, in my frustration, I think I used the word fantasy. Maybe my faith and hope and the way I feel about the church is all just a fantasy. My friend listened graciously and later, he sent me this:

“What is faith but for some unknown reason to believe in what we don’t see”

Needless to say, I needed this perspective - to be reminded that my hope and faith are not rooted in the circumstances of this world.

The historical church understands my hope and bears witness to a faith that is not seen. To light the candle of hope on this Advent Sunday is to say to the world that there is something more than what we see, something bigger than our circumstances. Faith and hope may look ridiculous or fantastical to others, but they are grounded in the truth of an eternal God and in his goodness, faithfulness and love. Our hope is HUGE - that God's Kingdom will break in and he will take what is broken in our world and fix it.

Where Do You Get YOUR Ideas About Gender?

2009-11-19T22:43:00.005-06:00

A woman is feminine when she______________________.

Masculinity means a man should _____________________.

Now, look at your answers and ask yourself, “Why”? Why do you believe this?

Where do we get our ideas about gender? I often feel the need to stop and define the terms when the topic of masculinity and femininity come up because people are all over the map. Some believe that women and men have clearly defined roles while others believe that there is no real difference between the sexes except maybe a little biology!

I am somewhere in between and appreciate where both camps are coming from.

Because patriarchy ruled for millennia, male characteristics were the standard by which everything was measured. The (traditionally) feminine was devalued at best and hated at worst. Misogyny ruled even if it was internalized. So to gain power and be taken seriously, some women decided the answer was to shed all constraints that resembled traditional femininity. Equality of the sexes meant that the sexes were the same. As Christians this extreme is unacceptable. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know that men and women cannot be the same. It is clear from scripture that God created us in his image as gendered beings. And if we all become masculine, the world misses out on his image being represented fully.

The other tactic women used to gain power involved elevating the feminine. If the feminine had been de-valued, it made sense to trumpet the feminine. This is what many women’s studies classes are all about. They try to get to the bottom of the female experience – the view of the world as seen by ½ the population. This relies on an essentialist view of gender that believes that the female perspective is unique. They claim there are female ways of observing, analyzing, knowing and relating that have been overshadowed in literature and history books because men have had the power to name what is valuable. The goal, then, is to uncover what has been covered – to unearth the female point of view and elevating it to the level of masculine. The primary question with this is , "who decides what is essentially feminine?" We still have to acknowledge that gender is mostly a cultural construct and often arbitrary.

I don’t have any answers. But I am becoming obsessed with these questions.

While I believe that men and women are different, I find little in scripture that goes to define masculinity and femininity. Additionally, I think I am just tired of the church getting in line with our culture and piling on expectations that that are not from God. We have a personal relationship with the creator of our gendered identity and we carry the freeing message of Jesus Christ - if anybody has a chance to get it right, it is us. And, we should certainly be a place where people can be free to really be themselves.

Devaluing the Feminine

2009-11-13T00:15:00.003-06:00

Yesterday on the radio I heard some talk-show blowhard talk about the feminization of America. He was talking with such disdain, I could not believe what I was hearing.

Why use the word feminine to describe something he didn't like?

Same song…different verse.

Truth is we still esteem masculinity over femininity in this culture. This is the most subtle and insidious form of misogyny because we don’t often see it. Women as well as men routinely spout off a string of adjectives that they find distasteful; emotional, weak, clingy, needy, irrational. Forget for a minute whether these are even truths about femininity.

The clear message? Feminine=bad, Masculine=good. And, most of us carry around these sexist attitudes in one form or another.

Naomi Wolf talks some about this in “The Beauty Myth”, when she says the perfect body is associated with traditional masculine features; hard, lean, strong. We have systematically been trained to fear anything soft, round, squishy. We fear fat, despise our own bodies and routinely favor masculine over feminine characteristics.

This became obvious to me years ago and I vividly remember when I began to connect the dots in my own heart about this. After years of working with women in the Church I realized I was hearing the same sound bites from women lips; I don’t get along with women, I prefer the company of men, I have never had many women friends, I hate women’s events, women are so_______.

Do we hear what we are saying? “ I don’t like the way God made me as a woman.” “There is something inherently distasteful about the feminine.” Why are we okay with this? Why do we not challenge this in the church? We have the best chance to get it right – to help women and men think rightly about the other and ourselves.

Ohhhhhh…so much to say!

Vineyard Conference

2009-05-06T07:56:00.006-05:00

This week, I am very proud of my tribe.

In a day when it is popular to sound hip talking about alternative methods and forms of church - often outside of denominational constraints - I am proud to say I love the Vineyard.

Being part of a family is messy. We never know how our mom may embarrass us or what jam Uncle Bob may get himself into. But we love them anyway. We are committed and bound to our families because of deep and profound love, our genetics and our history.

I have been a part of the Vineyard since 1990. I was hooked from the moment I attended my first conference in Anaheim, where I heard like-minded, ordinary people get up and talk in a way I understood and deeply appreciated. They were expressing a passion for the church and a desire for authentic spirituality that I craved. I quickly grew to love and identify with this group of people. I have experienced various waves, transitions and even extremes in my years in the Vineyard. But I have always sensed a deep devotion and passion to follow God and a readiness to repent and change courses when necessary.

I don't think I can really ask more of a relationship.

This week, while attending the National Leadership conference, I am reminded of why I am a part of this community...this tribe...this family.

The theme of the week is heroic leadership and the first few talks have stirred me.

Bert Waggoner (National Director) started the week on a strong note, using the story oif Esther to remind us that heroic leaders:

Have a compelling value of God's people that drives us. He reminded us that building the church is good and right and worth it.
Take risks. He encouraged us to free ourselves from what powerfully holds us back and to live our lives for an audience of one
Are captured by sacrificial love that allows us to say, "If I perish, I perish". This love only comes from the experience of love.

Cheryth Fee Nordling gave a powerful talk which focused on the fact that this will kill us! There was way too much to share here, but a few things include:

We are children of the resurrection and as his image bearers, we are to enact justice
She challenged our entitlement mentality that is choking the American church
We must stop side-stepping death and trying to resuscitate ourselves
Do we treat our relationship with Jesus as a friend with benefits?

And last night Don Williams reminded us that we must stay on course with Jesus' agenda for ministry which starts with receiving power from the Holy Spirit.

I can't wait to see what the rest of the week holds.