Emotional Freedom

Advice on Relationships in Overcoming Fear of Rejection

2011-10-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

Fear - it is a word that evokes uneasiness in almost every person out there. People fear a lot of things whether it exists or it just happens to be a figment of their imagination. However, nothing can trigger this emotion as powerful as the fear of rejection. Since man is a social being, this feeling of not being accepted by others is but natural. What makes this fear unnatural is if you let it take over your life.
The fear of rejection can cause more damage than one would expect. It could lead to problems in relationships, career, and even health. People who are subjected to this kind of fear are constantly seeking for reassurance and approval from others. They are afraid that if they do not fit in, they would get rejected. Did you know that overcoming this feeling means more than just mustering your courage to look at fear straight in the eye? This article is intended to give important insights on dealing with rejection.

Guys are not new to this aspect when it comes to relationships. Believe it or not, they get this a lot especially when they want to ask a girl out for a date. If you want to take control this fear of being rejected and keep it from overwhelming your life, here are some things that you should consider:

Fear only exists in the mind
Almost all of the things that you fear might happen may never actually take place. Sure, there are times when a woman's gut feeling that her husband is cheating on her is right. But have you noticed that how one's reaction to fear from getting rejected is actually the main contributor to a break-up? When you suspect that your partner is rejecting you, you become anxious, defensive, paranoid, and then angry. Such negative emotions become strong enough to affect the way you and your partner see each other to the point that the fear materializes into reality.

Look at the root of your fear
Ask yourself what experiences may have triggered your fear of rejection. Have you tried asking the girl you like for a date several times just to end up with a big no? Are you the new girl that does not know how to fit in her new environment? Events such as these may have left you insecure about yourself. Know that life is full of rejections and constantly reoccupying yourself with thoughts that others may not like you will not help at all. All you need to do is be yourself. Do something because it is what you want and not because others like it.

Have a positive focus
Do not let your past experiences hold you from trying again and again. A girl may refuse you without even getting to know you first. Remember that this must not stop you from showing her your personality. Who knows, your persistence may pay off once she finds out about your sincere intentions.

Getting rejected is not the end of the world
Learn to move on. Men who sought for advice on relationships usually get over from bad break-ups by managing on with their life. Do not be afraid to venture out of your shell and meet other people. Face your fear of rejection constructively and stop yourself from wallowing in regret.

Open your mind to the real meaning of rejection
Consider how many famous people have end up being rejected: J.K. Rowling, Vincent Van Gogh, Dale Carnegie, and Abraham Lincoln. These people ended up being successful because they did not think they were rejected because they were not liked. Give it a shot and ask out the girl whom you have taken a liking for a long time. It is better to give it a try and get rejected than to regret not even trying.

Learn more tips and advice on relationships

Self Confidence

2011-07-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

If you need to boost your Self-Confidence check this video!!. Brian Tracy explains why self confidence is important. It is a preview from Brian Tracy - The Unbreakable Laws of Self-Confidence - How to Tap the Infinite Potential Within - Motivational DVD Training Video

Bullies, too much Confidence?

2010-10-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

It seems hard to believe, but having too much confidence can actually be a problem – especially when that excessive confidence is coupled with a lack of impulse control and compassion.

Bullies do not possess the healthy confidence that most of us are striving for. Instead, when it comes to bullies and self esteem, they have an over-inflated view of themselves, instead of a healthy dose of confidence.

Dealing with the Office Bully

Bullies often think that they are better than everyone else and they also believe they can treat people any way they want. They don't feel secure about themselves and their own abilities. Bullies think they can do whatever they want and get away with it. Often bullies are prone to serious anger management issues, criminal behaviours and substance abuse. Bullies do not see anything wrong with their behaviors and inside of them they think their actions are acceptable.

People who are abused by bullies are more likely to suffer from low self esteem. In fact, this is what bullies like : people with low self esteem because they will have less chance to oppose their views.

If you want to stop bullying you need to stand up for yourself – meaning you have the courage and the confidence to let the bully know that his behaviors don’t faze you. By speaking to him in an authoritative voice, looking him directly in the eye, and simply walking away when he tries to escalate things, you can stop bullying from having an effect on your life. By letting a bully know that refuse to take the bait, chances are that he will leave you alone, and try to find someone else to pick on.

Bullying and self esteem go hand-in-hand for both sides. For victims, bullying can lead to low self esteem.

Best Motivational Vido Ever

2010-09-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

I do not have words to tell you about this video. Please watch it and let me know what you think.

How jealousy can ruin your relationship

2010-05-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

How jealousy can ruin your relationship

A little bit of jealousy is normal and a sign of a healthy relationship. It means that the one you love is so special to you that you want no-one else to have the same level of meaning to him or to her that you have.

If anyone is in a committed relationship and has never felt a pang of jealousy here or there, that could actually mean that the relationship really isn't that valuable.
But the important point is that every relationship has to be built on trust. When one person starts feeling jealous all the time and clearly for no good reason, this is when jealousy becomes obsessive and potentially very harmful.

How jealousy can ruin your relationship.

1.Obsessive jealousy can manifest as a mask for a lack of confidence. Women often fall into this trap, although men do too sometimes. If a men is committed in a relationship they don't care about anything else except that-just looking another attractive women . If the women get jealous is a sign that the she does not find herself attractive or sexy enough. She has to find the way to become more self-confident and realize that he is actually with her for a reason.

2.Jealousy can also manifest as a mask for a control . Some people feel jealous only because the other person has a life!. This means that the other person has friends and activities. This is a sign of a very unhealthy relationship.

3.Jealousy as a trust issue. May be one of the persons in the relationships suspect his/her partner of having a secret affair. Communication then is a must.

You must never let jealousy to get obsessive. If you are feeling obsessively jealous look for help. There are many resources available. You can look for help in a therapist. You can use EFT an tap your jealousy, or you can use self hypnosis to overcome your obsessions.

Resources

Overcome Jealousy This self hypnosis session will help you get control back over the workings of your imagination so it stops feeding you images of the worst happening. Your partner will be astounded, (and probably overjoyed!) at the new relaxed, realistic you.

The Shadow Effect

2010-01-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

Today I watched the Shadow Effect Movie. This is a powerful and profound film that documents how our personal and collective shadows influence our lives. I felt this film explores our world through the shadow and leaves us looking at the roots of our world's problems. If you are interested in moving foward in your life and shifting consciousness, I highly recommend seeing this film. See the trailer:

We are wearing masks to hide our own truth instead of using our dark truth as a gift. Have you seen the movie?. What do you think?.

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is
embodied in the individual’s conscious life,
the blacker and denser it is.
At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag,
thwarting our most well-meant intentions.
— Dr. Carl G. Jung

The Shift

2009-05-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

I watched a movie that really moved me. It is called the shift by Wayne Dyer. It is about your life purpose. Have you watched "The Shift", if you have not, I would highly recommend it. It can change your life. Watch the trailer:

When you change the way you look at things, thing you look at change.........Wayne Dyer.

Get the Shift: The Shift, expanded version

If you have watched this move , please leave a comment....

Observing your emotions

2009-05-03T17:33:00.000-07:00

What do you think about observing emotions instead of suppressing emotions?

How our thoughts influence water

2009-03-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

I once heard: "If thoughts can do this to water, can you image what they can do to us?"

I would like to share a video from Dr. Masaru Emoto, he says that human thoughts are directed at water before it is frozen, images of the resulting water crystals will be beautiful or ugly depending upon whether the thoughts were positive or negative.

Since 1999 Emoto has published several volumes of a work titled Messages from Water, which contains photographs of water crystals next to essays and "words of intent."

This is really interesting , watch the video:

Dr. Masaru Emoto said : "Water is the source of everything, so all the phenomena in this universe are the work of water. Everything is created by water and water is the thing that we human beings give most impact to. I always say water is a mirror of the human heart".

I think that we are most of the time not aware of our thoughts. We are also not aware on how our thoughts influence our lives. May be this is a message to become more aware...

What do you think about this video?

Learning to Say No

2009-02-22T17:32:00.000-08:00

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying YES too quickly and not saying NO soon enough.” - Josh Billings

For many of us to say NO is hard , but if we want to build our self esteem we have to learn to set limits on other people’s demands that involve conflicts with our own needs and desires.

Some ways we can say NO are for example is saying: “No thank you”, or “ I am not interested”. But also in order to be able to say NO, we have to be clear inside first.

In order to be clear inside we have to overcome some beliefs and our fear of rejection.

How many times have you said Yes and deep inside you wanted to say NO?. Are you betraying yourself because you are afraid of rejection? Why you keep saying yes if you can simple say NO?

The Boost Your Self-Esteem Workbook

2009-02-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

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Frustration

2009-02-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

I have found myself really frustrated many times specially when I was not able to reach my goals.

I think that the worst part was the transition between setting a goal and waiting for it to manifest.

I have learned that the more frustrated I feel the worst is. Why? Because I not only feel bad about myself but I also feel the pain in my body. I would like to suggest some ways to deal with frustration that I have learned:

Focus on what is working well in your life. Even is you think that nothing is going on right there is always something good in your life.
Make a habit to write before you go to bed what it went well.
Keep focus in what you want to accomplish
Use any technique that helps you to release this emotion of frustration.

Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration. Dr Phil

Setting goals for the New Year

2008-12-26T07:22:00.000-08:00

Many of us are now in the process of setting goals for the next year. The best way to set goals is write them down. But, before you start setting your goals you have to be clear about what you want.

A goal has to be something you really want, not something that somebody else wants for you. It has to be specific and realistic.

Suppose that your goal is:

I would like to exercise 5 times a week.

Think about your goal. Is it achievable? Do you have the time to do this? Do you really want to exercise 5 times a week?. May be a more realistic goal could be: I will exercise 3 times a week.

Think about the reasons why you want to achieve this goal. How would you feel if you can reach your goal? Why this goal is important to you?. In the case of the goal above: do you want to exercise to feel good? To loose weight? To become more fit? What are the reasons behind your goal?

This is for me a more realistic way to set goals. To be clear inside is really important. Make a list of different areas you would like to set goals:

Relationships
Work
Money
Health, and so on

Then write at least one goal for each area after you have made yourself clear about your goal.

How to write the goal?, be specific:

Exercise 3 times a week to loose 5 pounds a week, or
Exercise 3 times a week to loose 15 pounds by March 2009.

This could be an example.

Be specific, get clear, look for the reasons you are setting the goals, write them in the present tense and relax. You do not have to know how you are going to achieve your goals, but being clear about them will lead you to take the right actions.

According to Deepak Chopra you do not have to make any effort. Get clear, write them down and eventually come back and read them . You will be surprise of how many of your goals come true. I personally don’t make any effort. I get clear, I write them down and I live my life as normally do.

I have learned that if I can’t reach any of my goals is either because I have not become clear about it or I am not ready for it.

Boost your Self Esteem this Christmas

2008-12-18T06:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas for most people can be a stress season. For some this season is of sadness , for others is happiness.
No matter what you are going through this is an opportunity for reflection and change.

If you are going through difficulties just stop and take your time to think about your situation. Practice acceptance and surrender. Feel your pain and release your negative emotions. It is easier say it than doing it, just remember:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;

Take your time to pamper yourself: get a massage, go to the gym, walk, read a book or buy something for yourself. Be grateful for what you have.

If you are not going through difficult times, be grateful for your life and pamper yourself

You deserve the best, make yourself a priority. Take this time as an opportunity to love yourself so that you can give to others your best. Set your goals for the next year, dream high and take care of yourself.

"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." Sydney J. Harris

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a great Happy New Year!!!

Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

2008-10-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

The last lecture. If you have one lecture to give before you die what it good be?. If you are suffering from self-pity you should watch this video.

What do you think about this testimonial?

Its about how to live your life........................................

Official Google Blog: Ten years and counting

2008-09-27T05:09:00.000-07:00

Official Google Blog: Ten years and counting

Are you feeling bad or unhappy?

2008-09-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

Are you feeling bad or unhappy?. We don’t usually feel great everyday. Sometimes and may be for no reason we feel sad, unhappy or depress. What can we do about it?.

Here are some tips to help you boost your mood:

Listen to your favourite music. May be if you can , dance!!!. Moving your body will help you to change your emotions.
Watch something funny. Laughing is important. I love my dentist because he has in his office a TV that is always on with Mr Bean’s show. So by the time I have to sit in “the chair” I am totally relax and happy.
Make a list of good moments in your life. Remember when you were happy in the past.
Practice meditation. Being in silence will help you to release tension and sadness.
Go to the gym to feel good about yourself.
Go for a walk in nature; remember that movement change your mood.
Call a friend and go out for a coffee and talk about good times.
Read a good book or do a hobby you been postponing
Even write a letter to yourself, write about how you are feeling and then through the letter away.

Are moods changes constantly and we do not have to feel bad because of this. We are all human beings and sometimes emotions take over us. The best thing is to become aware of these feelings and of course do something about it.

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Unusual case of self-awareness

2008-08-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor one morning, realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment.

This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.

Self-awareness is defines as the explicit understanding that one exist. Furthermore, it includes the concept that one exists as an individual, separate from other people, with private thoughts.

In this interesting video Hill has become aware of herself .

Is really interesting how she was able to be aware all the time instead of resisting the moment.

Prosperity consciousness

2008-06-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

For many of us when it comes to money we worry a lot. For some people the issue of money is an struggle. For others is not a problem. Why is that? I believe that manly is a state of consciousness; that is because we usually call it prosperity consciousness.

I was watching the other day on TV, the show: Two and a Half men. Is a comedy . Sometimes with a program or even a comedy we can find answers to our questions.

If you had watched this program you know the two main characters. : Jake is relaxed and affluent. On the other hand Charlie is constantly stricken with bad luck and is constantly teased by Charlie.

In this episode Charlie is explaining to Jake that they don’t have more money. They needed more money to come in order to pay all the high bills of the house. Jake didn’t worry too much and kept saying to Charlie that: “Something will come out”.

But for Charlie seeing that the money wasn’t coming in got him into panic. Here is part of the episode:

Finally as you can see on the episode Jake got a new contract and it seems to be a lot of money.

While I was watching the show, I realized that deep into the lines I could get a message about prosperity consciousness, I might agree or might not about their personal life , but the message is there.

People like Charlie have scarcity consciousness because they don’t believe that something good will come out if they need money. They rationalize the situation and for them a problem does not have an unexpected solution.

On the other hand Jake was sure that something would come out. He expected the best and he got it.

Even though this is a show and a comedy we can learn a lesson from it.

“ Remember that your attitude plus knowledge leads to right opportunities and action”.

“The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem. Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it”. – Jerry Gillies

Let go of toxic emotions – repressed emotions

2008-04-23T04:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes is hard for us to identify our toxic emotions. If we are not able to have clarity there is no way we can release our toxic emotions that no longer support us.

In the process of letting go of toxic emotions I have found that is a must to be aware of them. Sometimes we are so overwhelmed and hurt that is even hard for us to become aware.

Toxic emotions can be anger, fear, low self esteem, resentment , rage, jealousy, shame or guilt that all create negative feelings about others or us.

When we are not able to identify our toxic emotions we tend to repress them. It takes a lot of energy to keep our emotions buried. How do you we know that we are repressing toxic emotions? Here are some symptoms:

· Chronic fatigue
· No apparent cause of depression
· Not talking about our feelings
· Pretending that something does not matter when it really does
· Overreacting
· I don’t care attitude
· And so on.

The best way to have emotional freedom is to not only identify your toxic emotions but also to release them.

If we repress our toxic emotions we are going to react to events in the present with the same reactions of past events. We are going to bring our past to our present and this creates a suffering cycle that never ends. Our behaviour and reactions will have a negative effect on relationships and our life in general.

I found three steps in the process of releasing toxic emotions:

1. Know what emotions are. Understand how emotions are created (emotions , thoughts and feelings). Deepak Chopra suggests that we define the emotions in an emotional vocabulary that does not represent victimization. For example: Feeling sad is a genuine emotion. Feeling abandoned, on the other hand, represents victimization.
2. Take responsibility, as Deepak Chopra says: if you are waiting for somebody else to change so you can feel better, you might wait for a long time
3. Become aware of your emotions, feel the sensations in your body
4. Release them

In the next post I will explain this steps. So the question now is: Are you aware that you are repressing your toxic emotions?

Learn more about others emotions with this list of emotions

Are you a procrastinator?

2008-03-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

According to wikipedia: Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.

I was really surprised to find that procrastination is generally associated with low sense of self-worth and often a self-defeating mentality. It is also associated with perfectionism.

It is interesting then to find a connection of procrastination to low self esteem. We all know that some signs of low self esteem are low self-worth, self-defeteating mentality and perfectionism

I have found myself procrastinating many times. I wasn’t aware of the reasons and I kept asking why? May be one of the answers is: low self esteem, low self-worth. Becoming aware of this patter I have found that there are many ways to stop procrastinating:

We can start overcoming procrastination from the inside out but also with external action:

External action we can take to stop procrastinating:

Make the list of the things we have to do.
Have a calendar and mark everything down.
Take the list in the morning and commit yourself to do it.

From the inside out:

Start building self esteem
Stop being a perfectionist
Become aware of your fears to failure and success
Be patient with yourself and know that you are a human being doing the best you can
Be more independent of the good and bad opinions of others.

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting of until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday”. Napoleon Hill.

Prepare to overcome procrastination now!

What is assertiveness?

2008-02-25T23:36:00.000-08:00

Assertiveness is our ability to express ourselves in an appropriate, direct and honest way.

Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. Being aggressive means that we are communicating with disrespect with other people. On the other hand if we have passive behavior we are communicating a message of inferiority and we are putting ourselves in a victim position.

Being assertive is having a healthy self esteem because we
are expressing our thoughts and feelings in a respectful and healthy way.

Many years ago I used to have a passive behavior because I was afraid to be rejected by other people. Later on when I found that I was being victimized I started to respond with aggressive behavior. Why? Because I was not aware that I could be assertive. It took me many years to understand the there was a healthy way to express myself but I finally got it.

I have found the following tips from the “Center of Independent Living” that might help you to understand better the difference between Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Behavior:

Passive Behavior: Is afraid to speak up
Aggressive Behavior: Interrupts and 'talks over' others
Assertive Behavior: Speaks openly

Passive Behavior: Speaks softly
Aggressive Behavior: Speaks loudly
Assertive Behavior: Uses a conversational tone

Passive Behavior: Avoids looking at people
Aggressive Behavior: Glares and stares at others
Assertive Behavior: Makes good eye contact

Passive Behavior: Shows little or no expression
Aggressive Behavior: Intimidates others with expressions
Assertive Behavior: Shows expressions that match the message

Passive Behavior: Slouches and withdraws
Aggressive Behavior: Stands rigidly, crosses arms, invades others' personal space
Assertive Behavior: Relaxes and adopts an open posture and expressions

Passive Behavior: Isolates self from groups
Aggressive Behavior: Controls groups
Assertive Behavior: Participates in groups

Passive Behavior: Agrees with others, despite feelings
Aggressive Behavior: Only considers own feelings, and/or demands of others
Assertive Behavior: Speaks to the point

Passive Behavior: Values self less than others
Aggressive Behavior: Values self more than others
Assertive Behavior: Values self equal to others

Passive Behavior: Hurts self to avoid hurting others
Aggressive Behavior: Hurts others to avoid being hurt
Assertive Behavior: Tries to hurt no one (including self)

Passive Behavior: Does not reach goals and may not know goals
Aggressive Behavior: Reaches goals but hurts others in the process
Assertive Behavior: Usually reaches goals without alienating others

Passive Behavior: You're okay, I'm not
Aggressive Behavior: I'm okay, you're not
Assertive Behavior: I'm okay, you're okay

"The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others." Sharon Anthony Bower

Assertiveness training hypnosis download

Perfectionism

2008-02-17T15:12:00.000-08:00

I was raised with perfectionist parents. Unfortunaly both of them were this way.
My father always told me: If you don’t do it right, don’t do it. My mother always found something wrong.

This is a pattern really hard to break. You live your life constantly with the reminder that you are not good enough. That you could have done it better and so on.
I think there is a big difference between wanting a successful life and trying to achieve perfectionism.

With perfectionism we cannot enjoy life, accept ourselves and live with satisfaction and peace.

I have learned balance this tendency by building self-esteem. Learning to love myself, self-acceptance. Understanding that I am a human being and that the mistakes I make are opportunities for growth.

I have learned that relationships are not perfect and they don’t have to be. I have learned to be more compassionate with others and myself.

Are you a perfectionist? Have you found a balance in your life? Watch these interesting videos about perfectionism.

When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism

Can you change your attitude?

2008-01-22T03:15:00.000-08:00

Have you watch the Peaceful Warrior movie?, here is a trailer:

In the movie Socrates advise Dan to change his attitudes, he literally tells him: “Take out the trash”. When you change your attitude, you change your behavior. Sometimes I think we have a lot of trash in our minds and we cannot see the big picture.

What does it mean to change your attitude? It means to accept your thoughts and feelings and at the same time to take a positive action. Have you observed yourself all day long, what are you thinking? We all have negative thoughts during our day but that is not the problem, it become a problem when we get hook in this thoughts.

Your thoughts create your feelings and you take action based on those feelings. Sometimes our thoughts become a habit. I am not saying that is easy to change your attitude, it requires patience and awareness. It requires us to live in the present moment.

We are so used to live in our past or in our future that to live in the present becomes impossible. The only moment we have is our present. If you cannot change your negative thoughts (your trash), just observe them. Do not judge them, this way you will learn a lot of things about yourself and by being conscious you will have a great tool to change your attitude.

Resentment vs. Anger

2008-01-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

I have explain the meaning of resentment and anger on my past. Because this emotions are really important I would like to explain the difference between them. When we have this concepts clear is easy for us understand our emotions and find a way to release them.

According to the dictionary resentment means:

A feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury

Anger means:

A strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism.

I have noticed that key word in both definitions is “persistent”. When you feel resentment you keep having fantasies of revenge.

So what is the difference between resentment and anger?.

If you feel resentment you also feel anger. Anger is like a sudden emotion. Is a reaction. If somebody does something bad to you, you react with anger. So if the key word in resentment is persistent, you become resentful when you let that anger persist. This would mean that you are choosing to have this resentment.
When you feel anger, because this is a feeling that arise as a self-defense mechanism , you cannot decide not to be angry. You can decide how to manage the situation but you still feel the anger. On the other hand, you decide to be resentful because you keep dwelling in our anger. Is interesting, being resentful is choosing to keep the anger.

Whenever you choose to keep your anger and become resentful you lose your joy, you close down. You are not going to feel good about yourself, therefore you are contributing to increase your low self esteem.

I have also notice that when get trapped in this circle I put myself again in a victim position, because I am keeping my anger to justify that I am right. The other person is the problem, not me.

Do you still like to be the victim? To be a victim is one of the characteristics of low self esteem. If you keep putting yourself in victim situations by not letting go of the anger and resentment you will not be able to have a healthy self-esteem.

I have found that the best question to ask at this moment is : Do I want to be right or happy?
Keeping my resentment will not change what happened, will not change the other person. It will only increase my self-pity. .

Is worth to think about it. If somehow you are able to let go of the anger, you free yourself from resentment and you are free now to build a healthy self esteem

Resentment is like taking a poison and waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt

Get mad, then get over it. ~Colin Powell