Never Give Up

Heaven or Hell !!

2012-02-20T17:44:00.005+05:30

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump,' said the man.

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.

'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.' :)

smoking is injurious to health - How ?

2012-02-15T19:05:00.003+05:30

The effects of smoking on human health are serious and in many cases, deadly. There are approximately 4000 chemicals in cigarettes, hundreds of which are toxic. The ingredients in cigarettes affect everything from the internal functioning of organs to the efficiency of the body's immune system. The effects of cigarette smoking are destructive and widespread.

Smoking Effects on the Human Body

•Toxic ingredients in cigarette smoke travel throughout the body, causing damage in several different ways.
•Nicotine reaches the brain within 10 seconds after smoke is inhaled. It has been found in every part of the body and in breast milk.
•Carbon monoxide binds to hemoglobin in red blood cells, preventing affected cells from carrying a full load of oxygen.
•Cancer-causing agents (carcinogens) in tobacco smoke damage important genes that control the growth of cells, causing them to grow abnormally or to reproduce too rapidly.
•The carcinogen benzo(a)pyrene binds to cells in the airways and major organs of smokers.
•Smoking affects the function of the immune system and may increase the risk for respiratory and other infections.
•There are several likely ways that cigarette smoke does its damage. One is oxidative stress that mutates DNA, promotes atherosclerosis, and leads to chronic lung injury. Oxidative stress is thought to be the general mechanism behind the aging process, contributing to the development of cancer, cardiovascular disease, and COPD.
•The body produces antioxidants to help repair damaged cells. Smokers have lower levels of antioxidants in their blood than do nonsmokers.
•Smoking is associated with higher levels of chronic inflammation, another damaging process that may result in oxidative stress.

Taste of India

2010-10-20T11:32:00.002+05:30

Taste map of India

It's all about marriage :)

2010-10-14T09:51:00.002+05:30

David Bissonette :

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
***********

Sacha Guitry :

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;

they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

***********

Socrates :

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.

If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

***********

Anonymous :

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

***********

Dumas :

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

***********

Sigmund Freud :

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

***********

Anonymous :

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

***********

Sam Kinison :

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.

It's called marriage.'

***********

James Holt McGavra :

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

***********

Patrick Murra :

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

***********

Nash :

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

***********

Anonymous :

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

***********

Henny Youngman :

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

***********

Rodney Dangerfield :

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

***********

Anonymous :

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.

Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

***********

Anonymous :

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
***********

Sweet --- Husband & Wife

2010-10-06T12:39:00.000+05:30

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC
No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor
He is designed to remain Silent indoor...
*
"Husband is one who is the head of the family,
but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."
*
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
*
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever
*
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.
*
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
*
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
*
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!

Stages of Life :)

2010-09-27T20:27:00.008+05:30

We have 3 stupid stages of life………..

Teen age: Have Time + Energy …but No Money

Working Age: Have Money + Energy …but No Time

Old age: Have Time + Money …but no Energy

So Enjoy your today :) Keep rocking :)

Software Career Growth Meter...

2008-12-08T14:42:00.003+05:30

Software Career Growth Meter.. !!

Police officers - sense of humor

2008-09-16T19:43:00.001+05:30

Police officers - sense of humor.
* "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

* "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

* "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

* "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

* "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

* "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

* "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

* "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

* "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

Cute Answers ...

2008-08-07T02:20:00.000+05:30

BEST OF PAPPU

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to , my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO ! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

Smile :-)

2008-07-31T01:52:00.001+05:30

A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink."Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals

A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."The man replies,
"And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

PUNERI PATI

2008-07-22T22:10:00.001+05:30

PUNERI PATI

2008-07-16T01:31:00.001+05:30

Hilarious AD With A Nice MESSAGE

"I can't follow you everywhere..."
"Avoid using mobile while driving..."

2008-07-08T20:32:00.003+05:30

A good wife can bring balance to your life !!!!

Surya ha Shauryacha

2008-07-04T01:25:00.000+05:30

Stupid & Funny Conversations in Courtrooms (Real)

2008-07-04T01:23:00.003+05:30

Stupid & Funny Conversations in Courtrooms

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kiddin’ me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess!!!.
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

:-)

2008-07-04T00:53:00.002+05:30

These are answers, some students have written in their exams...

* A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

* The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

* When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

* Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

* Clouds are high flying fogs.

* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the
important thing.

* Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana ..."

* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa ...."

* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

Marathi Jokes

2008-07-04T00:43:00.003+05:30

Dead-Lock

2008-07-04T00:34:00.001+05:30

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa(boss) make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .

Pahila Paus

2008-07-03T23:55:00.005+05:30

Shortest Love Story

2008-07-03T23:28:00.001+05:30

6 weeks : 6 months : 6 years :-)

2008-07-03T23:18:00.003+05:30

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.

6 months : Of course I love U.

6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.

6 months : BACK!!

6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.

6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.

6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.

6 months : Here, for you.

6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!

6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?

6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.

6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.

6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.

6 months : You bought a new dress again???

6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??

6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?

6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?

6 months : I like this movie.

6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by

Marathi Grafiti

2008-07-03T22:50:00.007+05:30

Beer contains female hormones :-) Good One !!

2008-07-03T22:46:00.000+05:30

Beer contains female hormones !!!
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.
It was then observed that
100% of the test subjects........

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive..
7) Failed to think rationally.

No further testing was considered necessary :-)

2008-07-03T21:40:00.001+05:30

Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj

2008-07-03T21:24:00.000+05:30

तुझ्या माझ्यासवे कधी गायचा पाऊसही

तुझ्या माझ्यासवे कधी गायचा पाऊसही

तुला बोलावता पोहोचायचा पाऊसही!

पडे ना पापणी पाहून ओलेती तुला

कसा होता नि नव्हता व्हायचा पाऊसही!

तुला मी 'थांब' म्हणताना, तुला

अडवायला कसा वेळीच तेव्हा यायचा पाऊसही!

मला पाहून ओला विरघळे रुसवा

तुझा किती युक्त्या मला शिकवायचा पाऊसही!

कशी भर पावसातही आग माझी

व्हायची तुला जेव्हा असा बिलगायचा पाऊसही!

अता शब्दांवरी या फक्त उरलेल्या खुणा

कधी स्मरणे अशी ठेवायचा पाऊसही!!

- संदीप खरे