Life in Texas

Gamma Knife Radiation Treatment for Brain Tumor

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Fri, 21 Mar 2025 02:51:00 +0000

Before Radiation

Early this morning I arrived in Dallas to have my first brain radiation treatment. I was told when I met with the oncologist radiologist this would be a one and done procedure. Earlier this week his nurse called me and said I might need two treatments. To my surprise this morning, after getting the MRI, I was informed I would need 5 treatments. The tumor is 2mm from the optic nerve and we don’t want to risk damaging my vision. It seems like the tumor must have grown since the last MRI a few weeks ago as it wasn’t near the optic nerve then.

I’ve never had a problem with getting an MRI until today. I haven’t had that many but when they put the mask frame over my face and slid me in I panicked. I was having trouble breathing and pushed the call button multiple times. The guys came in and I was crying. I asked if they could please find my husband. I wanted Collin to be there. The tech offered a mirror on the mask shield so I could see out when I was in the MRI machine. That helped a whole lot. Collin came back and assured me that I’d be okay. I only needed one with contrast so it was 15 minutes.

Then I went to get the worst mask of my life made. It was a warm plastic thing that they molded tightly to my face. The ends have bolts that they bolt to the table I lay on. I cannot move my face at all. Blinking is a struggle as the mask covers my eyes some. I cannot talk because my chin is securely in there and it’s covering part of my lips. I’m laying on a hard board. It was rough getting fitted for it.

Then I met briefly with my doctor who said I’d need 5 radiation treatments and they’d be around 20 minutes each. That ended up not being true. We went to eat breakfast with my dad and two friends who came to support us during this treatment. Meanwhile my doctor met with the neurosurgeon to go over my treatment plan. I barely finished eating breakfast when they called me back to begin. The nurse told me that the treatments would be 35 minutes long, not 20 minutes.

Shortly after laying down on the table the nurse started tightening the mask to my face. All of the sudden I couldn’t breathe, my heart was racing, I could only grunt. I told her through grunts to get me out of there. She did and I sat up in tears. I got my shoes and ran crying to the room where Collin and my dad were sitting. I told them I didn’t think I could do it. I don’t like things on my face, covid masks used to really bother me and they were loose and airy. This mask reminded me of some of the things I witnessed in torture museums in Germany. The nurse came in and said let’s wait 20 minutes and try again to give the medicine time to fully absorb.

20 minutes later I was back on the table. I was deeply breathing in and out through my nose praying I could make it through this. They did a CT scan then the gamma knife machine opened up and I went inside. I was able to listen to music and asked to listen to Christian music. It was tough, I have never been claustrophobic until being in my 40s. I was super uncomfortable to say the least. My husband sent a message requesting people to pray for me. My head hurt against the back of the table. My face hurt from the mask pressed firmly on it. In fact, afterwards I had a Chick-fil-A fry face, aka Jesus fry face. It was really one of the worst experiences of my life. I will be so grateful when this is all over.

I appreciate the prayers and am happy to be done with the first treatment. The prayers really helped. I counted the songs as they played to try and track when I could be released. I’m grateful that Collin brought me, Dad came, Randall, and Tarron came as well.

Isaiah 41:10 states, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand".

Before my panic attack - this is the Gamma Knife Machine

MRI Machine

The Awful Gamma Knife Mask - it goes on extremely tight for treatment

Chick-fil-A French Fry Face after treatment

My tumor that has grown close to the optic nerve...grrr. I hope this tumor dies!

The room where I had a runaway bride/runaway patient experience

Heading to treatment

Markings of a hopefully successful treatment

Radiation Options and Decision

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Mon, 10 Mar 2025 16:03:00 +0000

After meeting with the first oncologist radiologist, I went home and cried for the next two days. I also decided to get two more opinions. Having a brain tumor is not fun. Brain radiation is serious and there are risks and side effects that could occur and will occur. Knowing that it most likely will only be a matter of time before my pituitary gland starts failing and I'll need to be on hormone supplements is quite depressing. I'm going to share my Facebook update and and then a 4th opinion as well. My advice for any medical care is that if you're uncomfortable with something, get another opinion if you can. The 3rd leading cause of death in America after heart disease and cancer is medical errors and injuries. Not only that but side effects from medical treatment can be lifelong. Even if someone doesn't die from medical injuries they could have permanent damage done. Please say a prayer for me if you think about it. I have a pretty big decision to make and I'd like to make the right one.

At my 3-month post check-up from my brain tumor surgery, we discovered I have a pretty large residual tumor. I've been referred to get radiation to hopefully kill it so it will stop growing. I've seen three different oncologist radiologists. They each have a different approach. There are always side effects to radiation treatments, usually they are long term but some are short term. Radiation to the brain is scary to me. My tumor is benign, thankfully. However, that doesn't stop it from growing and if it continues to grow surgery would be needed again. I feel better than I have in many, many months. I am not on any medication but after radiation there's a high probability of needing hormone replacements for life. This is not a door I wanted to walk through so I'm really having to try and give it to God. Lots of prayers and studying. Several close friends have been praying for me but I'd love more prayers if you think about it. I want to be as comfortable and confident as possible going into this.

Here are my options.

Doc1: 5 treatments with TrueBeam (this is similar to Cyberknife) every other day. He told me if I wait too long he may not be able to offer me 5 treatments and would have to up it to 25 treatments for example. He seems like the most conservative of the 3. I left his office and cried for the next 2 days. He said he almost guaranteed my thyroid hormones would be damaged.

Doc2: 3 treatments with TrueBeam, same dose as doc 1 but done in 3 sessions vs 5 to make sure we kill this thing. (I thought she had Cyberknife but they upgraded their system and TrueBeam seems to be the new machine in this area). She also said she'd prescribe a steroid to take before treatments. She said doc1's recommendation was puny. But are higher doses of radiation really better or safer? I really liked this doctor.

Doc3: He's in Dallas and thinks he could do 1 dose with Gamma Knife. It would most likely be a one day trip. This would be the highest amount of radiation which long term isn't always good. This doctor said the other recommendations would have similar outcomes. Gamma Knife radiation has been around the longest and I wouldn't have to have the bolts in my head. This doctor was very knowledgeable as well.

If this were you, what would you choose?

On another note, a nice man from Nigeria told me he could cure me with some roots for only $100 USD.

Doc4: I decided to seek a 4th opinion from my primary care physician. He told me if it were him he'd go with option 3, the Gamma Knife in Dallas. His reasoning was very similar to my reasoning of why I went to Dallas in the first place to talk to the doctor. The gamma knife is the oldest radiation for brain tumors. The fact that they recently stopped having to place bolts in a patient's head makes it less barbaric in my opinion. I think if that was what I'd need I'd go with option 2. The Dallas doctors are excellent and treat more of my kind of tumors than anyone else in the area. He also said it wouldn't hurt to take the roots from the guy in Africa if I wanted. He read over what they were and said it couldn't hurt. Embarrassingly I tried to purchase the roots from Africa and paypal blocked my payment. The guy in Africa told me I could go to a gas station and get a gas card to send money that way. Something didn't feel right so I'm not going with the roots. I take several supplements for brain health and will continue drinking smoothies and fresh juices as well as walking to give my body the best chance possible.

In the end, I pray that God is glorified through this. Having a brain tumor was never on my list of wishes. However, God is faithful and I'm trusting in His plan for my life. Please pray Jeremiah's prayer of deliverance for me and with me. This is such a great verse to pray over anyone going through issues needing to be healed from.

Jeremiah 17:14: "Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."

3 Months Post Op from Brain Tumor Removal Radiation

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 03:05:00 +0000

The past few weeks have been very busy with multiple doctor appointments and the MRI scans. Most of my life I have been healthy and able to avoid going to the doctor. I'm mourning that life. I love and appreciate doctors but I do not enjoy seeing them for health reasons. I have a number of doctor friends and enjoy their company but that is different.

The positive news is my vision has been restored since removing the pituitary tumor. Praise God for that! The follow-up with my endocronologist went well, my blood work is great and I was able to get off the steriods. Another huge praise to God. Unfortuantely, I have a residual tumor and it's quite big. It's 1.8x1.4x1.4cm. My neurosurgeon was concerned about the residual tumor and I knew since the beginning that radiology was a possibility I just thought it would be years away. Due to the size I was referred to an oncologist radiologist.

This afternoon I met with an oncologist radiologist. Oncology rooms are very depressing. Cancer sucks and there's not a nicer way to say that. Thankfully my brain tumor is not cancerous, however, it's an agressive tumor. Benign brain tumors are like spongues and when they start growing they grow like a spongue and want to fill the space they are in. This can cause issues with other areas around where the tumor is growing such as the pituitary gland, optic nerve, carotid artery, all my case. Radiation is not something I want. I feel great, my labs are great, and this is such a difficult decision. The doctor said if I do the radiation now, we can do 5 sessions. If we wait 3-6 months and the tumor continues to grow and/or grows into another area, I might need 25 sessions. What I'm getting is called stereotactic radiosurgery that uses multiple beams of radiation to target and destroy abnormal tissue in the brain. I have an appointment on Thursday to get fitted for the mask, get imagery done, and some labs. 7-10 days after that I will have this treatment for 5 days every other day. The most common side effect is hair loss. I wish I wasn't vain but I guess I am because the thought of losing my hair is awful. I won't be able to wash my hair but once a week for two weeks then water for two weeks after.

Please say a prayer for me. I am scared. There are long-term effects of radiation including my thyroid being destroyed. That's another likely side effect. I'm really upset about this and am not doing well thinking about it.

2 Week Update from Brain Tumor Surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Thu, 05 Dec 2024 20:06:00 +0000

Today marks two weeks from my brain tumor surgery. As Dave Ramsey says, “I’m doing better than I deserve.” Truly, when I think of how things could have gone, I feel very blessed that God has given me the best possible outcome from this surgery. A few days after surgery, I thought I might die when we went to the ER but since getting some proper pain medicine and giving my body more time to adjust to the steroids, I’m feeling better than I have in months. My vision is better than I remember it being. I honestly did not realize how blind I had become and I am so thankful to God for that and all the prayers everyone has prayed for me.

Tonight, I’m hoping to be able to lay flat to sleep. Sleeping on an elevated slope is not comfortable. I am a stomach sleeper so it’s been rough but I’m so tired by the end of the day that I end up sleeping well despite the discomfort.

I had so many fears going into surgery. People tell me I don’t even look like I’ve had surgery. I had transsphenoidal endoscopic surgery, which means they went through my nose, sphenoid sinus to access the sella turcica to remove the tumor. It was a two surgeon operation. An ENT surgeon went through my nose to the brain and the neurosurgeon removed the tumor from the brain. You might remember that after I met with the ENT surgeon he told me I have a deviated septum. He said he could fix it for me. However, after looking at what that surgery involved I didn’t want it. My PCP told me he didn’t recommend an additional surgery as my body needed to focus on healing from the tumor being removed. Thankfully, the ENT was able to shave part of the part in my nose to get the tools through and save me from splints and the excessive packing involved in a septoplasty surgery. That surgery can always be available at another time if I wanted it–it probably won’t happen unless one day I absolutely needed it. When the neurosurgeon was removing the tumor, the tumor fell apart. It had deteriorated the bone and wall that was holding it in. I got into surgery at the right time. If we had waited the tumor would have continued to eat the bone and saddle and grown into the optic nerve more.

I want to thank everyone who has called, messaged me, come by to visit, brought us food, and prayed for us. I am unable to bend over or lift anything over 5 lbs, blow my nose, strain, sneeze, and drink from a straw for 4-6 weeks. Collin has been a blessing taking over my roles plus his. I appreciate the extra help we’ve received as well. I didn’t realize how often I bend to pick something up until I’m not supposed to bend over. This week I’ve felt like walking and it’s been recommended that I try to walk 1-2 miles a day until I get back to walking what I used to. The first week I didn’t walk more than 1k steps a day. I meet with my surgeon on Monday so I’ll give another update then. I’m taking a pretty large dose of steroids 3x a day. I’m eating more than my teenage son, so I really do need to walk. Haha. I mostly wanted to give an update and let everyone know I’m doing well and appreciate and love you all so much.

Christmas Choir Performances

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Wed, 04 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000

This week has been busy. Jackson had his Christmas chorus performance Monday night. I was disappointed I couldn't make it, I'm not able to be around large crowds and it's a packed house, plus it's a good drive from our house. Caden had his Christmas choir performance Tuesday night. Thankfully, Collin was able to record it. The boys did a great job! Grace does choir with Jackson but has been sick so she unfortuantely had to miss this year.

Beautiful Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 02:02:00 +0000

It was such a beautiful day! Grace has had a cough for several weeks and sadly missed her choir performance this evening. Collin went with Jackson across town for the recital, he and Grace were doing it together. This afternoon, Caden, Grace, and I walked to the pond and enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine. Later, I bravely let Caden drive me to the post office to get stamps. He's been driving with his dad but this was the first time I've gone on public roads with him. On the positive, he drives nice and slow. On the negative it can be a little too scary slow. I have never been so happy to be behind a school bus that goes slow and stops frequently. I'd rather him take it slow than go super fast. He's extremely careful which is good. He'll get there. We're ending the night with the movie, While You Were Sleeping.

ER Visit Post Brain Tumor Surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 01:25:00 +0000

ER Visit Post Surgery

I appreciate the prayers so much. It's been a tough recovery. Collin took me to the ER early this morning. I had a severe headache that woke me a little before 3am. I took my pain medicine and put an ice pack on my head and the pain only got worse. After I started vomiting, Collin called the nurse helpline and they said come back to the ER at the hospital where I had the surgery. They had to do a CT scan and blood work. They pumped me full of terrible medicine that made me extremely dizzy and sick. They also gave me nausea medicine. Unfortunately my headache didn't go away.

After my headache returned in full force, the doctor gave me a migraine cocktail along with the kitchen sink and an IV. Finally my headache subsided. They sent me home with another kind of pain medicine that would work better for the migraine type headaches. I get various kinds of headaches and apparently need different medications for them. They told me to go ahead and see my endocrinologist because they can test hormone levels and see what else is going on. I don't have an infection thankfully. I have an appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow late morning. My white blood cell count is high but that's pretty normal after surgery. There's no CSF leak, thankfully. I slept all afternoon. I appreciate the texts, calls, food, and messages. I will try to respond when I can if I haven't already.

I'm thankful my sister and dad were about to help with my kids today. I appreciate those who offered to help as well. We had to leave the younger two at home when we headed to the hospital early this morning with a note. They both came while we were driving to the ER. Maybe I can just sleep for a few weeks and feel better. I feel like I've been hit by a bus to be honest. I'm so grateful to be alive and able to see but my body doesn't do well with medicine and I'm not feeling great.

Surgery was Successful!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Fri, 22 Nov 2024 23:22:00 +0000

Thank you for the love and prayers!

I want to thank everyone again for the prayers. I love documenting miracles and there is no doubt in my mind that God orchestrated a miracle in my life. One, I have 3 healthy and beautiful children. I have so many health markers that would make childbearing impossible, it was difficult and not without many miscarriages. But God heard my prayers. Many people with this kind of brain tumor cannot have children. Granted mine most likely grew after my kids were born but still how terribly sad. Knowing this makes having children truly a gift.

Secondly, when I unexpectedly discovered I had a brain tumor on October 18th, my life quickly changed. I went to the ER and the doctor asked when I had a CT scan last, I told him I never had. That's when we discovered I had a tumor. He called me the next day, gave me his cell phone number and told me how important it was to find a neurosurgeon the next week. He said if I needed any help he'd help me. He gave me a few names, one being Dr. Lee, who is one of the best neurosurgeons in FW. I had my primary refer me and the ER doctor made a personal call and I got in to see him. Dr. Lee referred me to an ophthalmologist, endocrinologist, ENT surgeon who would perform the surgery with him.

That following Monday I got an MRI which said I had a brain tumor, a brain cyst, and a possible brain aneurysm. My church family prayed. I discovered I have an enlarged vein that gives the appearance of a brain aneurysm. We discovered I lost 75% of my peripheral vision on my left side and 25% on my right. There have been signs something was wrong for months. This whole school year has been very difficult for me.

Several weeks before I found out about the tumor, I couldn't do the elliptical at the gym and didn't understand why I was so out of shape. I failed the cognitive test and was told this tumor was cutting off blood to my brain and I wasn't allowed to drive anymore. That's why I couldn't do it. That's why driving was so exhausting. I was told I could lose my sight if I didn't get this tumor removed. There was a risk I could lose my vision with the surgery. We didn't know where the tumor was coming from but knew it was 10% abutted to my optical nerve and surrounded the pituitary gland, and on the carotid arteries. Surgery sounded risky and a bit scary. But God was there.

Friends stepped in and volunteered to take my kids to their classes, take me to doctor's appointments, tests, took me to lunch, brought my family dinner, and have brought some freezer meals and set up a meal train for a month as I recover. This is God working through others. This is what Christians do for others. We are the hands and feet of Christ. These friends aren't just people I go to church with. Although the majority are because I have the best church family. These are also friends from co-op, AHG, and as far back as high school. Friends hired a maid to clean my house while I was having surgery. Friends are loving on my kids to let me read. I'm also grateful for all the prayers. Prayers from all over the world, friends near and far. God has heard our prayers.

Dr. Lee told me this morning he was able to get all of the tumor he could see. He said it was bursting out of the bone and area that protects the pituitary gland and optic nerve. He said the wall to the tumor was disintegrating and easy to remove. One he removed the tomorrow he said my optic nerve relaxed. He said it was really easy to remove and came apart easily. He didn't get a picture but said it was colorful. Part of it was light pink and other parts gray. The first thing I said when I opened my eyes in the OR was that I could see! That became my number one prayer. My hormones could be messed up but my pituitary gland is still intact, there's a possibility that Dr. Lee removed the tumor and didn't damage this gland. He said this morning he's just doing the Lord's work. He prayed over me and I truly believe he is doing exactly what God called him to do. And with the help of the Lord has the helped many people giving God the glory.

I'm a huge believer in prayer. I asked Dr. Lee and the nurses who helped me after the surgery what we could pray for them about. Dr. Lee that he's about to continue to have good health to serve the Lord, Nurse C for his wife and baby due in early February, and Nurse L that her 45 year old daughter call her and seeks her out. We're all going through similar struggles. But when we join together we are not alone. There was a patient airlifted last night, a patient code blue and a patient code TTC. I was honored to be there to pray for those people and the medical doctors and nurses that assisted them.

God doesn't always answer our prayers how we want. I know many of you have gone through very difficult times. I have too. I've been on the floor weeping from the loss of my unborn babies, my mother, brother, grandparents, and friends. I also know that we are all still here. We are still on this earth and able to serve others and bring glory to God. Maybe you need help. If that's the case, that's okay. Let's get together and get you the help you need. Or talk with a close friend. You don't have to live alone. After you're healed you'll be about to serve others.

These special friends and family came to be with Collin McCormick during my surgery and some stayed to visit afterwards. I know others of you wanted to see me in the hospital when I was out of ICU but I was about to go home today. My pain was mostly coming from all the IVs in my hands and the only way to get them out was to go home. Thankfully my vitals were all good and I was cleared to be discharged. I have to limit my contact with others for a few weeks to avoid getting sick and to rest. My nose is sore from them removing some bone in my nose. My throat hurts and talking is a little painful. I can't bend over or pick up anything over 5 lbs for at least 4 weeks or sneeze. But my vision is better than it's been in a very long time. I have my post op appointment in a few weeks and feel certain I'll be able to drive again soon. We love and appreciate you all!

I want to thank my sister and friends who helped with the kids while I was having surgery and in the hospital and recovering at home.

Marisa's Vision has Returned

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Fri, 22 Nov 2024 10:31:00 +0000

What I shared on Facebook after surgery:

I just got a CT scan at 3:30am and probably won't sleep much more tonight. I appreciate all the prayers. My biggest prayer request was that I could see and not be blind. God has given me that and more. I have a lot of IVs in my hands, so it's hard to hold my phone very long. I will answer texts and messages later. But I wanted to give an update to let everyone know that I am okay. I got to see two of my kids this evening. One advantage of having a girl who looks older is nobody asked her age when she arrived. Many friends and family came up during my surgery and God has surrounded us with more blessings than I thought it was possible. My nose is a little bloody still and I can't wear my glasses very long because of the pressure on my nose. But from my understanding it sounds like they got the tumor out. I really didn't want to get the septoplasty unless required to get the brain tumor out. Thankfully, the ENT surgeon was able to just shave some of the bone inside my nose to avoid that extra surgery. I'm so grateful for that. I'll let Collin share the cool news about the optic nerve and how the tumor was breaking through a bone or something and crumbled. He's with me in the surgical ICU but is asleep thankfully.

I'm going to lay back with my eyes closed again. I'll share pictures when these IVs are out of my arms and hands. It's quite impressive what they can monitor. Thank you again for all the prayers. I appreciate those who came up to the hospital to be with Collin while I was in surgery as well. And I enjoyed seeing some of you. I've prayed that if God can use this event to share His love and faithfulness with at least one person, it will all be worth it.

Marisa Made it Through Surgery!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 19:37:00 +0000

Post from Collin:

Marisa is alive! After surgery and some time in a recovery room while waiting for a room in Neuro ICU, I finally got to see her. She's doing well. She is excited that she can see! Thank you for your prayers! God is great!

Surgery is Tomorrow!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 02:09:00 +0000

Tomorrow it the Big Day!

Early tomorrow morning is the big surgery day. I got a call around 4pm this evening to go back to the hospital to redo a CT scan. This wasn’t in my plans this evening but in life we have to be flexible. I’m so thankful to my friends and sister who are helping with my kids while I’m in the hospital. I’ve enjoyed spending time with various people these past few weeks and am so grateful for the love shown to us. Thank you all so much for the love and prayers.

Many of you have asked how I’m doing. Honestly, not great but I’m trusting God. That’s really all I can do. I’m not looking forward to this surgery. I’ve told Collin several times I’d rather not do this, but honestly there’s no other way around it. The tumor will only grow and I could lose my complete vision, and continue to have the other issues I’m having if it’s not removed. That’s a frightening thought! I’m trying to be brave for my kids. Everyone’s outcome is different. The pituitary gland is the master gland of our bodies. It seems to have some kind of control over every aspect of our bodies. For such a small gland it really is a powerhouse! And I want to encourage each of you, that even though we each play what we feel like is a small role in this world, we actually have a huge impact on those around us. Like the pituitary gland, we can make things easier or harder on those around us. We can bring joy to others or make someone’s day worse by how we respond, including in traffic. I want to encourage each of you, my dear friends, to do something nice for someone else tomorrow or today-if you’re reading this on Thursday, my surgery day. If you read this after my surgery is over, go ahead and do something nice for someone that day too. In fact, I’d love for each of us to everyday try and show kindness to others.

I won’t know how my life will be changed until after my surgery. It could take several months to fully know how my life will be different. Tonight I’m going to meditate on my faith in the Master Healer. Jesus said in Matthew 17:20: “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” I often wondered if that’s why we have earthquakes. Someone’s faith caused a mountain to move.

How is your faith? Do you know Jesus? If not, let’s have coffee or lunch sometime. Tonight I am asking God for complete healing. I’m asking our heavenly Father to give me peace and comfort on what lies ahead. I’m trusting that I will be okay.

Love you all!

I have a Surgery Date to Remove the Brain Tumor

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 23:25:00 +0000

I have a Surgery Date to Remove the Brain Tumor

I met with my ENT surgeon, Dr. Vories, this morning. He'll be working with the Neurosurgeon for my upcoming surgery, which is scheduled for next week, Thursday, November 21st. He was super nice as well. I found out that I also have a deviated septum. Basically I've been breathing out of my right nostril as the passage to my left is mostly blocked. Again, you only know what you know, right? He said he could fix it with a septoplasty while he's already in there after the neurosurgeon removes the brain tumor and it would just take an additional 10 minutes. So I’ll be getting two things done at once. As a teen I thought I might want a nose job, I never thought this kind of inside nose job. Lol. Of course as I got older I didn’t want any kind of surgery but here we are. He said the septoplasty will probably hurt the worst as I’ll have to have rubber splints for a week. But I won’t be breathing out of my nose for 4 weeks anyway, so this would be the time to have it done, I guess.

He told me there’s the possibility of having to have radiation after the tumor is removed as reoccurrence is possible and my tumor is quite large. He said he’s impressed that Dr. Lee is able to do this and trusts him completely and has been working with him for years. We are praying for the best outcome possible.

Specific prayers would be for my children. It’s a lot for kids to understand. I’m already difficult at times to live with and I will not have much energy for a while after surgery. My hormones likely will never be the same. The first 4-6 weeks I really have to limit what I do and rest and let the bone heal that leads to where the tumor is. I’ll meet with my endocrinologist 6 weeks post surgery to start the process of leveling my hormones.

This surgery is more serious than I anticipated. I really thought they’d go in there, get the tumor, then life would return to normal. Unfortunately, I won’t know the outcome until after surgery. The tumor is not growing out of the pituitary gland, all of my hormone levels are normal (yay! Except that there’s nothing but surgery to stop the growth of it). It is abutting the undersurface of the optic nerve and on the right aspect of the pituitary gland, with extension into the suprasellar space and along the pituitary stalk.

Thank you all again for the prayers, meals, and love you’ve shown our family.

I’m going to meditate on the command that God gave Joshua. While the promise of this passage is specific to Joshua, I believe that the principle extends to us today.

Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

For me, that is going into surgery next week. God is with me and will see me through.

ENT Surgeon Appointment is Scheduled

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 16:58:00 +0000

ENT Surgeon Appointment is Scheduled

I have an appointment tomorrow morning with the ENT surgeon. Thank you for the continued prayers. From my understanding, this should be the last specialist I'll see before surgery is scheduled. I'm trying to be at peace with all of this. I'm grateful for the prayers and feel extremely thankful to be seen as quickly as I have been.

I've shared with several friends how I miss my blissfully ignorant life when I thought something was off but I would press on anyway. I miss the freedom and luxury of driving my kids to their activities. The unknowns of post surgery worry me the most. I'm going to continue to ask our Heavenly Father to be at peace, thank Him for what I've been blessed with, and to help me rejoice in whatever the outcome is. I'm thankful for the vision I have, as there are people who have never been and to see, I'm blessed we caught this tumor before my vision was lost completely. I pray the optive nerve isn't permanently damaged or further damaged during the surgery. I pray my pituitary gland isn't severely damaged during surgery. But like Daniel prayed in Daniel 3:17-18, before getting thrown into the lions' den, " If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us..." (Referring to the lions' den). In my situation, even if God's plan isn't to completely restore my health, I will continue to praise His name. And honestly, this surgery is less scary than being thrown into a den of hungry lions. My situation could be much worse.

Church Campout 2024

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Sun, 10 Nov 2024 17:54:00 +0000

This weekend was our church family campout. Collin took the kids and our RV for the weekend. I enjoyed my house alone for the first time ever since having kids. It was crazy quiet! But I was able to rest and sleeping in an RV isn't very restful. I came out for part of the day yesterday afternoon after Jackson's basketball game and stayed for hot chocolate and s'mores. Grace came home with me Saturday.

We love our church family and are grateful to everyone who helps make these weekends happen.

Visit with the Endocrinologist

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Fri, 08 Nov 2024 21:08:00 +0000

Chapter 3. Visit with the Endocrinologist

I saw the last specialist I needed to see this morning, the endocrinologist. I didn't realize how important of a role an endocrinologist would play in the kind of tumor I have. For better or worse, I had one for my thyroid issue but had not seen him since 2013. My surgeon referred me to his friend, Dr. Tan. Well, Dr. Tan works in the same office as my old endocrinologist, Dr. Lacken, and since I was a prior patient, I would have to get them to both approve me switching doctors. I never had an issue with Dr. Lacken. I have always liked him and his PA, so I decided to go with the quicker doctor, my existing doctor, Dr. Lacken. They actually scheduled me with his PA, Ryan, but Dr. Lacken ended up coming in to talk to me given my particular situation.

Based on what the endocrinologist told me this morning, I'll be in isolation for a while after surgery to reduce the possibility of infection to the brain. The tumor is much bigger in size than we realized compared to other things in the brain, mainly the pituitary gland. Let's be honest, I was NOT a science girl in high school or college, my degree is in English. On the bright side, I have excellent research ability. My endocrinologist told me this morning that the tumor is also cutting off blood to my brain and really needs to be removed asap. They asked when my surgery was scheduled. I'll get to that in a minute. The endocrinologist said if my neuro surgeon is unable to remove all of the tumor during surgery, then I'll have to have radiation afterwards to make sure it is completely gone. My PCP told me it was big and thought they'd have to try to shrink it but it's not shrinkable based on the kind of tumor or is, so surgery is my only option. It doesn't appear to be growing out of the pituitary gland, because my labs are normal. However, it is pressing on the optic nerve and pituitary gland due to its size and that is what is causing the issues. Hopefully, my surgeons can remove it successfully.

Please pray that my pituitary gland isn't damaged during surgery. The tumor is encased around the gland. The tumor is 2 cm and the pituitary gland is .5 cm for perspective. I'm praying the surgeons can fit me into their busy schedules soon, have steady hands and can get this out without damaging the optic nerve or pituitary gland, and can remove it without the need for radiation.

I had to have additional blood work this morning. Thankfully my surgeon already had the labs ordered that the endocrinologist would need due to his friendship with Dr. Tan. I will need to be on a steroid for 6 weeks post surgery. Then removed for a night, labs checked, back on it until we see where the labs are. Then we will start testing each hormone because this surgery is what it is, there is still the unfortunate possibility of damage being done.

Also my vision can change again, yay (sarcasm), after surgery. It may improve from my current nearsightedness, but take weeks or months to level out so I won't be able to get proper lenses until it's at a steady level. Hopefully my peripheral vision will return. But these things we won't know until after surgery.

The next big question, when is surgery?? I'm so glad you asked. I asked that too and so has every doctor I've seen. I texted the scheduling lady at Dr. Lee's office this afternoon. My endocrinologist said he could refer me to someone else. However, Dr. Lee is one of the top surgeons in this area. I do actually have another appointment with another surgeon on the 19th and if we don't have a date by then, I'll see that surgeon. Since this surgery requires two surgeons, their schedules have to align.

We appreciate your prayers. My lesson in this is that if you feel something is off in your body, don't continue to deny the symptoms because there really could be something wrong. Also, God is with us in everything. I had to get three blood tests this morning after my appointment. Blood drawn, shot, then blood again, wait again, and more blood. Quest is a nightmare, this was in FW this time. Full waiting room. I entered my information as a walk-in. The computer sign-in system said the next appointment was 10:30, but I denied it and put walk-in. I was the 2nd person called while waiting. The phlebotomist, Venessa, was the sweetest lady. She told me I'd have to see her two more times and to just knock on the door after I got that shot and she'd write the times down she needed to get me. I hugged her as I left and asked if I could request her next time I was there as it looks like I'll be seeing my old endocrinologist again for a while, maybe life.

I appreciate all the outpouring of love and support you guys have given me. I appreciate the prayers, help, food, rides for myself, rides for my kids, etc. I want to cry with gratitude when I think how truly blessed I am. Thank you all so much.

Romans 15:13: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Opthalmologist Appointment

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Tue, 05 Nov 2024 01:08:00 +0000

Chapter 2 - Opthalmologist Appointment

I have been asked to keep everyone updated on the status of my health, specifically the brain tumor. Today has been a pretty emotional day for me. I'm trying to be grateful for the many blessings I have while dealing with the struggles of going through my own health issues, limitations, and frustrations. Short answer, surgery will be in my future. If you'd like more information, grab a drink and read chapter 2 below.

I went to the ophthalmologist this morning and he did a field vision test. More of my peripheral vision is gone than I realized. Dr. Robert Chu said that it would not be safe for me to drive until I have the tumor removed. About 75% is gone on my left eye and 25% on the right eye. We asked if removing the tumor would restore my vision. He said in most cases yes but he will need to continue to see me. If my vision doesn't return, he will send me to vision rehab. I had no idea that was a thing. But they can work with me so that I would be able to drive safely with the lack of peripheral sight. On the positive side, I am NOT blind! I can see, just not well enough to drive.

I have an appointment with the endocrinologist very early Friday morning. I'll be honest, I am a night owl and not an early morning riser. But I'm thankful someone cancelled their appointment and I was able to get in to see the doctor. Getting an appointment with a good endocrinologist is apparently pretty difficult. I'm still waiting on a few labs but I found out last week that surgery was already going to be most likely based on what the surgeon told me last Monday. He told me that if my prolactin levels were elevated, we could try and treat this tumor with medication. I honestly was hesitant to take the most common medicine as it had some weird side effects. =0 If my levels were normal, then surgery is really the only way to keep it from growing. The fact that it's affecting my vision makes it more important to get this out as it will just continue to grow.

I called the surgeon's office and left a message. I missed their callback and will try again tomorrow. Making appointments shouldn't be so difficult but you have to push so many buttons before speaking to someone or getting an answering machine. It's really frustrating and I was on the phone with a friend when the office called me so I missed it. The phone call with my sweet friend was worth it.

I feel like a mess emotionally and don't want to be a burden to anyone. We are surrounded by good friends and family and we will get through this. Collin has been very supportive and kind. He wants to be at all my medical appointments and I'm grateful he can do that. He even hung up on a meeting today at lunch so we could talk because sometimes we just need a friend and shoulder to cry on.

I've had friends who have taken me to get labs and scans and it's been a real blessing. Friends have picked up my kids and taken them to their classes and I'm so grateful they don't have to miss out on the things they've signed up to do. Friends have also brought our family meals and we truly are blessed. Each day I ask God to help us be a blessing to someone else.

I'm selfishly praying the surgery lines up where I can attend my kids' end of the semester events. But if I can’t, that will be okay. I will be happy when the tumor is gone and prayerful that my head won't hurt anymore and my vision is fully restored. I appreciate the love and prayers near and far.

Philippians 4:12-13: I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Happy Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Fri, 01 Nov 2024 03:00:00 +0000

Happy Halloween! Our kids went to 3 different places to go trick or treating. After a week of doctor appointments and tests, I was too tired to walk around so Collin and I went to dinner. Collin did walk with Jackson a little around my sister's neighborhood.

Jackson was a slushy, Caden was a game show contestant, and Grace was Hermione. Collin and I had plans to dress up as the Greatest Showman couple that we considered doing for the marriage retreat dress up night or Hippies, which we ended up doing at the marriage retreat. However, this year my energy level was zero so no dressing up but I wanted to share our fun costumes that we didn't wear anyway. My sister and her husband dressed as Bob Ross and a painting. It was a fun night of the kids running around with friends and family.

Blood Work

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 11:30:00 +0000

There is no doubt there is a higher power watching over us, our Heavenly Father. My friend took me to get my blood work done this morning. Collin is trying to let others help us so he can go to my doctor's visits with me. Grace went with us as she's just one of the most caring and compassionate kids I know. I get there and check in on my phone. As I walked in I realized I forgot my paperwork. Randall also had an appointment and I was hoping we could switch. Literally within minutes of realizing I forgot my paperwork, we ran into a friend from church, Karen Owens! I had already called Collin to see if he could bring the paper work but he was stuck in meetings and I would need to wait. Please pray for him, Collin does the work for four people and now has added on my mess. Karen is such a sweet woman and I asked her if she would mind taking Grace to my house to get my paperwork and bring it back. Y'all, she was so helpful and did it. Grace was able to tell her how to get to my house and bring it back to me. Karen is one of the kindest people. Thank you for helping me today! And thank you Grace for also being there! And thank you Randall for taking me.

Secondly, Quest is in desperate need of a better system. There were so many elderly people having trouble logging into their system. Since 2020, they got rid of having someone at the front desk to help customers. Customer service is zero and many of these people would benefit from help. Randall and I helped several people navigate signing in and getting on the waitlist. The room was packed and it's highly recommended to have an appointment but so many of these people don't know how to do that online. I know we're in the middle of elections but let's look around our community and see how we can make real changes now.

And it's fun to celebrate when someone who has been waiting for over an hour gets called back to get their blood drawn. The joy in these people's faces when they hear their name called was kind of like cheering when your favorite football team scores a touchdown. People are waiting months to get into see a doctor to have these tests done. Then stressed and confused with all the extra questions.

And no, they didn't let me switch appointments with my friend. They called me back and told me they couldn't do anything without my orders so they bumped me down on the list. It wasn't terrible. I had to fast and have hypoglycemia when I don't eat or drink which is why I usually don't go alone and am not supposed to drive right now. But I had a protein smoothie ready to drink afterwards and am doing just fine.

Marisa has a Brain Tumor

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 16:21:00 +0000

Chapter 1

Hello friends, it's been a while. I think the last post I made was when Collin was diagnosed with colon cancer. I want to document my health journey so my kids can easily find it as they grow older. I appreciate my husband and all the friends and family who have been so supportive of us since finding out I had a brain tumor. From helping with kids, rides, meals, covered my classes, etc., I appreciate each and everyone of you and the prayers as we are navigating the news we received on October 18th, when I went to the ER. It is evident that God is actively working in my life and I need to give Him the glory! I'll give a shrot version first and more details for those who care to read this chapter of my life, which is really an amazing God story. Also read about the salt and plants at the end.

I have a brain tumor in the pituitary gland. Last week they thought I also might have an aneurysm. We have been covered with prayers. I found out Friday, it’s a large vein that can give the appearance of an aneurysm. That was such an answer to prayer that we only have a tumor to deal with. I saw the surgeon today. Things are moving quickly. I have to get bloodwork and if my prolactin levels are high, there’s medicine that can help, if they are level, then I’ll have surgery. I have strong reservations about taking anything for life. The surgery, honestly, doesn’t seem as bad, it would be done by two surgeons, the brain surgeon, Dr. Lee, whom I saw today, and an ear, throat, and nose doctor. Nevertheless, let’s continue to pray for whatever is best. It also does not look like its cancerous. I also lost my voice last weekend, but was brought soups and prayers.

Onto the novel. Some of you have heard some or all of my story. I have been having constant headaches for weeks. I tried drinking more water thinking that was part of the cause, I blamed the all season weather we have in Texas because that can cause them. Nevertheless, headaches are nothing new, I’ve dealt with them most of my life. In middle school and high school I would often visit Mrs. Pippin to get some headache medicine. If you went to SCS back in the day, she was a dream to have working in the front office. She always knew how to take care of us.

I also get Migraines, which I had one a few weeks ago. When a headache turns into a migraine I cannot function. I usually get sick and have to go to bed in a dark quiet room. The weekend before last we had our annual American Heritage Girls Father/Daughter event. The Thursday before I was extra tired, my head continued to throb, but I made it through the day, barely. I sat on the couch all day and even watched a movie to try to take my mind off my head. I NEVER do that. Friday, I took Grace to our homeschool co-op, joined the rest of the board for pictures, and came home to get Jackson before getting back to teach. He wasn’t ready yet that morning and normally we’d wait for him but I had to be there early for the pictures. When I got home, I was exhausted, my head was pounding and I told Collin I thought I needed to go to the ER. If someone would have taken a hammer to my head, I would have felt better. He asked if I wanted to go to our doctor first but his office doesn’t open until 10. I told him no, I needed some medicine to knock this headache out. Nothing had been working and I had a very busy weekend ahead of me. I told him it’s probably worse than I thought because I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I’ve given birth to three kids all unmedicated. We dropped Jackson off at co-op and went to the ER.

Here is where the blessings really start. We had the BEST ER doctor. The ER doctor asked when my last CT scan was. I told him I don’t think I’ve ever had one. He suggested I have one. Collin was worried about radiation, which is concerning, but I told him I really would love to find out if there’s a cause of these headaches. They gave me a shot for my headache and some medicine and I was pain free. I hadn’t been pain free in weeks! The radiologist was running behind because of some technical issues so he wasn’t able to read it. I had requested leaving as soon as possible because I was needing to get my kids and help setup for this father daughter event. The ER doctor came in and said we could be released but it looks like there could be a cyst on my brain but they hadn’t gotten the results and I’d probably need to follow up with that. About 5 minutes later, he and another doctor and nurse came in and said they still hadn’t gotten the results but it looked like a tumor on the pituitary gland. He said he had only seen this one other time in the 10 years he’s worked at the ER and has seen over 50,000 patients. He said it was important to get an MRI and see a neurosurgeon next week.

Honestly, there wasn’t much I could do at that point. It was suggested that we cancel the father daughter event but we had 77 people signed up to come, the food was ordered, that honestly would have stressed me out even more. I was still alive and pain free. That’s exactly what I was hoping to be after going to the ER, I just wasn’t supposed to drive on the medication and never expected to have a brain tumor. I also needed to follow up with my doctor and get an MRI asap. When I got home, I called my doctor and he wanted me to come in then. My doctor is also a true godsend and amazing doctor. I was hoping to take an hour nap before working that evening but instead went to his office. He put in orders for the MRI and referral to some neurosurgeons. He told me I needed to see an endocrinologist as well. I should be seeing one every 6 months but haven’t been to mine since 2013 after the miracle of the 3 nodules in my thyroid disappeared. Then I gave birth to my daughter and then youngest son and never took the time to go back. I have nodules on my thyroid again so we will investigate that as well with another new friendly doctor. I’m feeling really old typing all this, doctor this, doctor that…

The ER doctor, Dr. Blakenship, called me Saturday to follow up. He left a voicemail and gave me his cell phone number as he wanted to follow up and see how I was. He suggested two highly rated neurosurgeons. He’s been so kind following up with me and my case. He said as long as my PCP put in a referral I could get in with the highly rated neurosurgeon he recommended.

Monday I got an MRI, walked in my doctor’s office afterwards and he showed me the pictures. He’s just like that, his other patients were running late so I slipped in to say hi since I was a few doors down at Touchstone. He was amazing when Collin had colon cancer and would call him to check on him from time to time. Tuesday I met with my doctor again and he went over the results. I have the tumor, a cyst, a possible brain aneurysm, and basically an ear infection. Y’all my heart sunk. My biggest fear was a brain aneurysm. I held it together. Collin was with me and we asked our church family to pray for us and close friends. I had to get a CTA with contrast for another look.

Friday morning the neurosurgeon’s office called to schedule an appointment for Monday with the doctor we wanted! My doctor called me on his lunch hour apologizing for not being able to get ahold of anyone in their office but had a referral to an excellent surgeon at UT Southwestern in Dallas (I didn’t want to go to Dallas), and another surgeon I already had an appointment with later in November because he’s currently out of the country. I said, “Dr. Whaley, I already have an appointment with Dr. Lee on Monday! They called me this morning to schedule it.” I also said I had an appointment with him in 15 minutes and would see him soon.

At my appointment on Friday, I got the results of the CTA. What they thought was an aneurysm is an enlarged vein that gives the appearance of an aneurysm. Praise God!! You give someone bad news with even more potential bad news, that is something else, it makes the bad news not so bad.

That brings me to my visit today. I cried at the surgeon’s office like a big old baby. I’m not a crier and have not cried at a doctor’s office since giving birth to my babies. However, Dr. Lee is exactly who I would want for a surgeon and doctor. He is a man of faith, told me he is just doing the work God called him to do. He scheduled me with an endocrinologist I'll be seeing this week, whose name I can pronounce (yay!), Dr. Tan. And get this, he referred me to an ophthalmologist who was the first eye doctor I ever had! Dr. Chu, is the eye doctor who helped me see after I failed the vision test at the DPS when I was 15 when trying to get my permit to drive. He saw me that day and gave me contacts so I could see! If you’ve ever needed glasses, you know how amazing it is to be able to see! I was amazed at the details of the leaves on trees! It explained so much in middle school and early high school not being able to see the white board in class. Then we went back to the DPS and I got my permit and have been driving ever since! I can't believe he's still around, and at the same office! All that to say, God is so good! We are counting our blessings, naming them one by one. Now I’m really feeling old being excited to see a doctor, but really, I’m looking forward to thanking my first eye doctor for helping me see. I have lost my peripheral vision and my balance is a little off which is why I’m getting referred to him. I have awesome friends who have been helping drive me and the kids around.

Next steps. After I get the blood test done, and I meet with the endocrinologist, we will know if surgery or medication is the better way to treat this. Honestly I would kind of rather do the surgery than take medication for life. I’m praying for wisdom and good guidance. I’m thankful for one more day. No matter what happens, that’s really all we can do. Be thankful for today and not worry about tomorrow.

I read through the Bible every year. But had missed this part until Saturday when I read Luke 14:34-35: “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.” I love homesteading and gardening or the idea of it and have had gardens for a number of years. I’ve never thought to add salt to soil or a manure pile, which we have used both to grow crops. Did you know, upon further research, that salt can help soil retain moisture, kill weeds, and make soil easier to till. It can also release nutrients in the soil that plants can use. In some cases, salt can help prevent rust and blight in crops and yield your plant growth 2x to 4x. I shared this with my life group Saturday as some of us are into gardening and stuff like that.

My friend shared this with me today from her study Bible. Salt can lose its flavor. When it gets wet and then dries, nothing is left but a tasteless residue. Many Christians blend into the world and avoid the cost of boldly living out their faith. But Jesus says that if Christians lose their distinctive saltiness, they become worthless. Just as salt flavors and preserves food, we are to preserve the good in the world and bring new flavor to life. This requires careful planning, willing sacrifice, and an unswerving commitment to Jesus’ kingdom. But if we fail to be “salty,” we fail to represent Jesus in the world. How “salty” are you?

Each day is a gift. Everyday we have the opportunity to serve, be kind, and bless someone. If you are reading this, God has a purpose for you. Find it! Live it out if you aren’t already. Love you guys! Thanks for reading this chapter in my life.

Update on My Husband's Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Fri, 28 Jan 2022 20:06:00 +0000

My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer at the end of November. They found a massive tumor in his colon the day before Thanksgiving. He was scheduled for surgery December 17th. Two days before surgery they called and said he'd need to reschedule due to staffing issues at the hospital. His surgery got bumped to January 12th. Two days before they called and told him his surgery was changed to another hospital because of staff out due to covid and to get tested for covid. He took a test at home and it was positive. We felt horrible that we exposed a bunch of friends the previous day at our daughter's surprise birthday party. Needless to say, his surgery was cancelled again and they told him to call to schedule once he had a negative covid test. Several people who were at the party with us tested for covid and they all tested negative, thankfully!

How did we do with covid? Just fine. We honestly wouldn't have known we had it except we tested for it. Kids had zero symtoms. We had a little congestion. I took an allergy pill and my congestion cleared up. We do eat super heatlhy. No sugar, mostly organic, and all plant based. We also take a number of supplements and went ahead and took Ivermectin since it's known to help shrink cancer tumors. Not sure if it helped with covid or cancer but that's what we did.

He got his results from his last test from Saturday late Monday night. It was negative. We've been praying a bunch about this and trying to seek God's will in how to handle everything. After talking to many, many people, including many who have had colon cancer, he's decided to go ahead with the resection surgery. We are so thankful for all the prayers and support we've received. We will continue with our plant based diet. We are greatly enjoying juicing and have seen so many health benefits from doing both. Thanks again for the prayers.

Grace is 8!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Thu, 27 Jan 2022 19:53:00 +0000

Dear Grace,

You are now 8 years old! Your daddy was scheduled to have surgery the day before your birthday and was going to be in the hospital on your birthday. I planned a surprise party with some of your friends the Sunday afternoon before. We dropped you off at your aunt and uncle's house and you thought you were going to go swimming with them. You showed up at our recreation center and we were there with your friends to surprise you. One of your little brother's friends asked if you were going swimming that afternoon and kind of gave it away. But you had a blast and the party was fun for all. You finally got a swimming birthday party!

2nd grade is going well. Your reading and reading comprehension is amazing. You are excelling in all of your subjects. You enjoy dance and American Heritage Girls. You want to play basketball this summer. Your relationship with God is growing and you read your Bible daily. You love your cat and all the animals. I could see you working with animals when you grow up. Right now when you grow up you want to be a vet. Your best friend is Emma. Your favorite food is macaroni and cheese. We are so proud of the young woman you are becoming. You have your annual checkup with your doctor next week.

Love,

Mom

Pictures from your party.

Colon Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 19:25:00 +0000

It has been so long since I've blogged. I don't know if anyone will read this. If nothing else, I want to saved so my children can read my thoughts as they grow up. Life is extremely busy and I just haven't carved out the time from our busy schedule. However, I feel it's time I try and make this a priority. Journaling has always been a way I've been able to express myself and putting my thoughts down brings clarity.

The title of this blog is Colon Cancer. Almost two weeks ago we found out that Collin has colon cancer. This came as a complete surprise. He had been having blood in his stool since August and it was getting worse in September. It took a few months to go to the doctor, get blood work done, visit the GI doctor, and schedule a colonoscopy. Finally the day before Thanksgiving he had his first colonoscopy. What should have been a simple in and out procedure of being there no more than 2.5 hours, turned into us being there 4 hours and discovering he has a massive tumor on his colon. They sent him for a CT-Scan and blood work under STAT, which means life-threatening and needs to be done ASAP. They also did a biopsy of the tumor. We went in the following Monday to see his GI doctor. Since it was Thanksgiving they hadn't gotten the biopsy results back but did have his blood work and CT-Scan results. Both looked good. Praise God! The following day the doctor called and told him the biopsy came back and he has adenocarcinoma, aka colon cancer. This was a Tuesday and the kids had dentists appointments in FW and I was gone with them half of the day. When I got home, Collin was still working and it wasn't until I was making dinner that he came in the kitchen and told me. Tuesdays are our hectic evenings. Caden has basketball practice and all of the kids have Trail Life and American Heritage Girls. We didn't get a chance to fully process it together and basically ate and split to get kids to activities.

While at Trail Life and AHG, some elders from church came up and prayed over us and a few friends joined in the prayer. I'm still in shock but also am hopeful that he can beat this. We are so blessed that the cancer hasn't spread. Later that week we went to the surgeon's office and sat down in his office to talk about surgery. He said he would remove a foot of his colon and test the surrounding area for cancer and that would determine what stage of cancer he has. He said he's extremely lucky it hasn't spread and is not stage 4. He said it was stage 1, 2, or 3, but we wouldn't know until after surgery. He will spend 5 days in the hospital and then it will take 4-6 weeks to recover. We asked if there were dietary changes he could make. He said no. This is frustrating because there is so much you can do if you have cancer. We asked his GI doctor the same question and he told us eliminate pork and eliminate beef for now and if you want to eat meat only eat fish or a little chicken or turkey. But really he needs to eat lots and lots of vegetables. The surgeon also told him he's most likely had cancer for 5-7 years!!! 😧

This leads us to what are we doing now. Caden had a basketball tournament in San Antonio. We had planned to go down earlier than we did but since Collin will be missing a lot of work coming up, we went up the day before. We still got to take the kids to Sea World like I had planned a few months ago. Caden had some tough games at the tournament and barely loss 3 of them. It was so sad. Anyway, going out of town made it a little difficult keeping with our new diet but not completely. Collin has cut out sugar completely. We are juicing organic vegetables daily. Mostly carrots, ginger, beets, celery, greens, and an apple. We're eating big salads, nuts, seeds, and some clean fish. After just one week of this he's lost 8 lbs and I've lost 5 lbs. Weight loss isn't the reason for this it's to kill the cancer cells and make sure this tumor doesn't grow and spread. We've been having oatmeal with blueberries and pomegranets for breakfast, black coffee, and for dinner more vegetables and legumes. We're reading all about alternative methods of fighting cancer. By nature, I question everything and after watching my step-brother die of cancer earlier this year I'm frankly disgusted with the cancer industry. I'm disgusted with the food industry. Our food is killing us and causing so many diseases and it's so hard to break the cycle. Yet in our country there only "proven" mainstream ways to treat cancer, which most fail, is to have surgery, chemo, and or radiation. Billions of dollars are spent on cancer patients, they feel like crap, and lose the will to live. When I truly believe there are other ways. They take work, but there are other ways to kill this disease.

What are we going to do? Everything is up to Collin on what he wants to do. Of course we want the cancer out. He is tenatively scheduled for surgery on the 17th. However, insurance hasn't approved it yet. Meanwhile, we are cleaning up our diets and looking at alternative methods, including beating cancer with the fenbendazole protocol (oddly enough, we have tons of this medicine unopened because we give it to our goat), ivermectin (say what?! look it up!), and dietary changes. Chris Beat Cancer is a fabulous resource on beating cancer with food. My friend's brother-in-law beat stage 3 bladder cancer with fenbendazole, which has been proven to shrink tumors. I ordered the powder which is what is recommended, we have the liquid. I'm starting to think maybe we could all use a little deworming. Many national healers tend to believe cancer is a parasite. I am not a doctor so I don't know. But I was a journalist in college and know how to reasearch things. I love looking at the research and reading stories about people who healed naturally. Also each person has the ability to take their health into their own hands. It's not the governments job to keep us safe and well. In fact, it seems like they are okay keeping people unhealthy and sick with their poisonous GMOs and processed foods.

People ask me how I'm feeling. Truthfully, I'm pissed off. I really am. I am frankly angry and it's not at Collin, it's at being lied to by the FDA. I'm angry that cancer is still the 2nd leading cause of death in America, with almost 600,000 Americans dying every.single.year from this dreadful horrible disease and the same old methods are not working well. I was pissed when my brother died from it and yet the drug companies were able to come up with a vaccine to cure covid, which isn't working well and has caused a ton of health problems for many people who have gotten it. Meanwhile, good doctors are able to treat high risk people early with proper protocols and people are recovering easily from it when given the right stuff. We all had it last December and rested and took the vitamins that were recommended. Now you can get the anibody infusion and/or take other things and recover quickly at home if you need it. I have fully vaccinated friends who have gotten the disease and did the antibody infusion and recovered. It's all about the choice and making the best decision for yourself. I don't want to pursuade anyone from doing what they feel is best but I don't think any medical thing should be mandated. I have two blood clotting disorders and am unable to get it. I get my antibodies tested every 6 months and they are still sky high. I also am so so sorry if you lost a love one to covid last year. I'm sorry if you lost a love one to a cancer, a car accident, or other disease. Losing a love one is hard. I'm just angry because of stupid covid we weren't able to see my brother as much during his last years of life and yet cancer kills more people every year than covid did/does.

Please keep us in your prayers. Life is short, we all know this. But seeing diseases eat away at people we love is so hard. My kids are worried and we're trying to be optimastic. We are blessed with some of the best of friends who are going to help us by loving on our children and caring for them so I can be at the hospital with Collin. Please send Collin some encouragement. He's been under a lot of stress at work and working so much extra for the past two years.

Also, if you are not a Christian, please talk with me. Our biggest hope is in God and through prayer and petition I believe Collin can beat cancer. Please keep Collin in your prayers.

Grace is 6!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Thu, 10 Sep 2020 23:34:00 +0000

Dear Grace,

Happy 6th Birthday! I am late writing about your birthday and I apologize. You had a wonderful birthday and a fun party in January. This year you wanted an art party. You had a lot of sweet friends over and painted with them. Everyone had a blast! You don't really like cake much so we served a chocolate chip cookie cake. It was a hit! We also had cupcakes for those who prefer that.

You are such a kind, sweet, and loving girl. I love how much you love and care about your friends and family. If someone is scared you are there for them. If they get hurt, you help them. Your laugh is infectious and your smile lights up the room. You love God and Jesus very much and I admire your devotion to them. You are not a morning person and enjoy sleeping in. You love animals and constantly ask for an inside pet. Sometimes you bring an outside animal inside and make a home for it.

Kindergarten was a great year. You learned to read, improved your counting and addition, and grew in your love for art. You wanted to paint just about everyday and you did. You played basketball and lost your two front teeth during the season. I was an assistant coach to yours and Jackson's team. You guys were the Puma's and undefeated. You were the only girl on the team and one of the best players. You enjoyed CC, dance class, music class, and playing with your friends. Our country was hit with a pandemic during the Spring of your kindergarten year and the world as we knew it seemed to stop. All of your classes were cancelled. Almost every business but grocery stores were closed for 6 weeks. Churches were closed for 6+ weeks as well and some are still closed now. It has been a crazy time.

Some of your favorites:

Best Friends: Emma, Carrie,

Color: Pink

Song: Beatle Songs

Place to Go: Urban Air

Food: Cheese

When you grow up you want to be: A Doctor and a Scientist

At your yearly exam in January, you dressed in your doctor's jacket, ready to learn from the doctor. You weighed 51.8 lbs, and were 48 in tall. You are 80% for weight and 90% for height. You're very healthy and smart! I included some pictures from your birthday party. We love you Grace!

Love,

Mom

Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, and North Carolina Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 00:03:00 +0000

We took a Fall vacation in September to Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, and North Carolina. We flew into Birmingham and drove to Tennessee to visit some good friends of ours we used to go to church with. We stayed Saturday night with them and went to church with them on Sunday. We had such a great time with Matt and Erin and their girls!

The next night we stayed in Nashville. We toured the Parthenon, ate German food, walked around the Grand Ole Opry, and the the Gaylord Opryland. The next day we went to Andrew Jackson's Hermitage, it was amazing. I feel like I have so much American history to learn about. We were going to go to the Country Music Hall of Fame but some friends who live in Huntsville, AL, invited us to come over for dinner and let our kids swim. They were our first friends in Germany. So we headed to Huntsville and visited the Space Center there first. Collin went to Space Camp several years as a child and it brought back memories for him. Then we saw Gary and Lisa.

After visiting we had to drive to Tuscaloosa because Collin had work meetings the next two days. I took the kids to the McWane Science Center the next day and to the Tuscaloosa Children's Museum the day after. Then we drove many hours after work to Blue Ridge in the Chattahoochee Mountains. We stayed two nights in a really cool cabin. We rested, played miniature golf, visited an orchard, ate lunch in Murphy, NC. Then we needed to head back to Birmingham, stopping first at Six Flags Over Georgia, only to be sadly disappointed that their website had their hours wrong and they were closed.

So we trucked on back to Birmingham and enjoyed our last night of vacation before flying out the next day. It was a really fun vacation and we were so glad we got to see a few friends on our trip.

At a fun State park after church in TN

Parthenon in Nashville

Tennessee's State Capitol Building

Grand Ole Opry

Gaylord Opryland

Andrew Jackson's mansion

Space Center AL

Playing in our friends' pool

Good friends from Germany

McWane Center

Children's Museum in Tuscaloosa

Children's Museum Tuscaloosa

Capitol Park in Tuscaloosa, AL

Murphy, NC

Blue Ridge, GA

Georgia Mountains

Happy 4th Birthday Jackson!

noreply@blogger.com (Collin and Marisa) — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 23:35:00 +0000

Dear Jackson,

You are now four years old! It seems like only yesterday we were welcoming you into this world. You are spirited, compassionate, and loving. You like to take risks and tell me I'm beautiful almost everyday. 😀 You can be the sweetest person or the meanest. It really depends on your mood. For the most part you are sweet and fun to be around. But when you get mad, you get MAD!

At night, you always thank God for your family members by name and your friends (and sometimes their parents) by name. You love to build things, take things apart, and help out. I think one of your love languages is acts of service. Anytime I need help, you eagerly want to help me. This summer you kept your room nice and orderly everyday. You also did a great job making your bed. You also love helping with the animals.

This year you wanted a Superhero Birthday party. Complete with capes and masks for your friends. Spiderman is your favorite character but you like all of them. We had it at our house with a water slide, slip n slide, dinner, and cake. Superman even showed up! You had a blast with your friends and we love watching you have fun. I found a Spiderman pinata and you ended up breaking it!

Your favorites are:

Friends: Everybody (Grace, Ethan, Brandon, Emi, and Genevieve)

Song: "Tell Me Why" and "Linus and Lucy"

Book: Herald and the Purple Crayon

To do: Jump on the trampoline and exercise

Food: Pizza

You are 4 years old, 44", and 44 lbs! Your well-child visit went extremely well. We changed to a new doctor closer to us and he said you look great!

You are in preK this year and enjoy coloring and making things. Especially with glue, you love to glue things together and cut lots of little pieces of paper. You are taking a music class and a book class and are in Classical Conversations.

We love you so much, Jackson!

Love,
Mom

Be a superhero and save the animals that were frozen!

You were surprised and excited Superman came to your party!

Birthday room decorated with 4s and balloons!