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goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 19:00:00 -0700

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Police Brutality Still Rampant 20 Years After Rodney King Incident

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 15:31:00 -0800

Los Angeles police officers beat Rodney King March 3, 1991 in Los Angeles,

California.(Photo by CNN via Getty Images)

This week marks the twentieth anniversary of the Rodney King beating, an incident which shone the spotlight on police brutality and race relations in Los Angeles and throughout the United States.

On March 3, 1991, King -- who was driving with two of his friends in his white Hyundai -- was stopped by LAPD officers following a high-speed chase on the 210 freeway with the California Highway Patrol. King reportedly had been drinking with his friends. Ordered out of car, King was repeatedly beaten and kicked by officers Laurence Powell, Timothy Wind, Theodore Briseno and Stacey Koon. According to court records, after learning that King worked at Dodger Stadium, Powell said to King: "'We played a little ball tonight, didn't we Rodney? You know, we played a little ball, we played a little hardball tonight, we hit quite a few home runs. Yes, we played a little ball and you lost and we won.'"

King sustained serious internal injuries, including a broken cheekbone and a broken right ankle, and received 20 stitches, including five inside of his mouth. In his negligence claim against the city of Los Angeles, for which he later won $3.8 million, he also claimed he suffered "11 skull fractures, permanent brain damage, broken [bones and teeth], kidney damage [and] emotional and physical trauma."

The four officers would later claim self-defense, arguing that their lives were in danger from King, who they said was aggressive and was resisting arrest. Meanwhile, other police officers who were on the scene did nothing to stop the beating. What made this police beating incident different from many others was that it was caught on videotape -- by a bystander named George Holliday, a plumbing company manager. The tape showed that the officers clubbed King with 56 baton strokes, and kicks to the head and body.

Rodney King Aftermath

The LAPD officers were charged but were later acquitted by a jury trial the following year. The acquittal led to the April 1992 Los Angeles riots, in which 55 people were killed, about 2,000 were injured and 12,000 arrested, with over $1 billion in property damage. In the midst of the riots King called for calm, asking in the now famous words, "People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?" The officers were subsequently tried in federal court on civil rights violations, where Powell and Koon were convicted and sentenced to 30 months each. Wind and Briseno were acquitted.

In the wake of the Rodney King beating, The Christopher Commission report was issued to conduct "a full and fair examination of the structure and operation of the LAPD," including its recruitment and training policies, citizen complaint system and internal disciplinary practices. The report found that a significant number of police officers used excessive force and ignored department guidelines. In addition, the complaint system was skewed against complainants. There was a breakdown in leadership on the force, a management problem, with a failure to deal with repeat offender officers who were often promoted and rewarded for their behavior.

"Testimony from a variety of witnesses depict the LAPD as an organization with practices and procedures that are conducive to discriminatory treatment and officer misconduct directed to members of minority groups," the report found. "Witnesses repeatedly told of LAPD officers verbally harassing minorities, detaining African-American and Latino men who fit certain generalized descriptions of minorities, employing unnecessarily invasive or humiliating tactics in minority neighborhoods and using excessive force." Police officers of color, the Christopher Commission found, were also susceptible to racist slurs, racially-motivated behavior and discriminatory treatment, which was attributed to white dominance in LAPD managerial positions. In light of these findings, the Commission recommended the resignation of LAPD police chief Daryl Gates.

The LAPD's reputation was further damaged in the late 1990s by the corruption scandal involving the Community Resources Against Street Hoodlums (CRASH) anti-gang unit of the LAPD's Rampart Division. Over 70 officers were implicated of brutality, misconduct and corruption. At least three officers in the unit were found to be on the payroll of Death Row Records boss and convicted felon Marion "Suge" Knight, who is affiliated with the Bloods gang. The officers were implicated in the drive-by shooting murder of rapper Christopher "Biggie Smalls" Wallace, (a.k.a. The Notorious B.I.G.). The scandal led to over 140 civil lawsuits, with settlement costs of over $125 million. The report of the Rampart Review Panel noted a sense of insularity in the CRASH unit. This created an "us versus them" mentality towards the community, and an "ends justifies the means" attitude that led to abuses of authority, such as the planting of evidence, unjustifiable beatings and shootings, bank robbery and drug dealing. "Community policing -- which must be at the heart of the Department's efforts to reestablish its credibility with the public -- remains more a slogan than reality. And ethics remains almost an afterthought in the training of the City's police officers," according to the report.

Before Rodney King, police brutality and misconduct were longstanding problems in Los Angeles. In 1962 Malcolm X spoke out the LAPD, who entered the Nation of Islam's Los Angeles Temple and killed Temple secretary Ronald Stokes. And three decades later, following the Rodney king beating, Los Angeles was not the only city to grapple with police abuse. It was a national problem, and according to civil rights activists a problem of epidemic proportions in cities such as New York.

Click here to view a slideshow of theGrio's most shocking taser moments

New York City

In 1994, New York's Mollen Commission report on police corruption found that "Today's corruption is not the corruption of Knapp Commission days [when a prior police corruption commission issued a report in the early 1970s]. Corruption then was largely a corruption of accommodation, of criminals and police officers giving and taking bribes, buying and selling protection. Corruption was, in its essence, consensual. Today's corruption is characterized by brutality, theft, abuse of authority and active police criminality."

As mayor of New York City from 1994 to 2001, Mayor Rudy Giuliani and his police commissioner William Bratton adopted an approach to crime fighting known as "Broken Windows," a concept developed by conservative Harvard professor James Q. Wilson. Under the Broken Windows theory, law enforcement cracks down on minor "quality of life" offenses such as marijuana possession, jumping the turnstile in the subway, or drinking a beer on a street corner, with the assumption that such police action would deter more serious, violent offenses. Giuliani and his police chief also employed Compstat, in which commanders present regular statistical reports on crime patterns to top brass. The system has been criticized for encouraging unethical behavior, including the manipulation of crime data, and pressuring police to "cook the books" or increase arrests.

Under Giuliani's watch, aggressive police tactics -- under the backdrop of poor community relations in communities of color -- resulted in allegations of police abuse and torture, and fatal shootings of unarmed suspects in police custody. Nearly 70,000 people filed lawsuits against the police, claiming they were strip searched for conduct as innocuous as jaywalking. From 1994 to 1996, police brutality complaints increased 45 percent, according to the New York City comptroller's office, and in those years the city paid about $70 million in settlements or judgments in police misconduct cases. In 1997, the city paid more than $27.5 million, a 38 percent increase from 1993.

And during this time, New York experienced some of its most high-profile cases of police abuse. Amnesty International said in its report on police brutality and excessive force in the NYPD that "the evidence suggests that the large majority of the victims of police abuses are racial minorities, particularly African-Americans and people of Latin American or Asian descent. Racial disparities appear to be especially marked in cases involving deaths in custody or questionable shootings, an issue Amnesty International believes should be the focus of particular inquiry."

Meanwhile in a report on police brutality in New York and other cities throughout the nation, Human Rights Watch characterized police abuse as one of the most serious and divisive human rights violations in America: "The excessive use of force by police officers, including unjustified shootings, severe beatings, fatal chokings, and rough treatment, persists because overwhelming barriers to accountability make it possible for officers who commit human rights violations to escape due punishment and often to repeat their offenses. Police or public officials greet each new report of brutality with denials or explain that the act was an aberration, while the administrative and criminal systems that should deter these abuses by holding officers accountable instead virtually guarantee them impunity."

In 1994, Anthony Baez, 29, was choked to death by an NYPD cop for hitting the officer's patrol car with a football. The officer was sentenced to 7 ½ years in federal court. In 1995, Bronx residents Anthony Rosario, 18, and Hilton Vega, 22, were reportedly shot to death execution-style by police, as the two men begged for their lives. The city settled with the families for $1.1 million.

Abner Louima was reportedly beaten, tortured and sodomized by officers of Brooklyn's 70th precinct in August 1997. According to Louima, during the assault the officers allegedly proclaimed that this is "Giuliani time." Louima won $8.7 million, which was the largest settlement in the city's history. One of the officers was sentenced to five years for his involvement, and three convictions were overturned. And on February 4, 1999 four white NYPD officers shot and killed an unarmed Amadou Diallo, 22, a street vendor from Guinea, in a barrage of 41 bullets, of which 19 struck him from a distance of only two feet. The officers were acquitted by a jury, and the city of New York later settled with the family for $3 million.

20 years later

Over the 20 years since the beating of Rodney King in Los Angeles, cases of abuse and misconduct by law enforcement continue. In some cases, for all of the attention that the King incident brought in terms of the need for reforms, statistics suggest that these incidents have increased. In the post-9-11 era, racial profiling has left its impact on African-American, Asian, Latino, South Asian, Arab and Muslim communities. The ACLU reported in 2009 that "A major impediment to the eradication of racial profiling remains the continued unwillingness or inability of the U.S. government to pass federal legislation prohibiting profiling with binding effect on federal, state, or local law enforcement. Moreover, certain U.S. government policies continue to contribute significantly to the prevalence of racial profiling."

In addition, a number of high profile cases have kept the issue on the front burner and in the public eye, such as the 50-bullet shooting death of Sean Bel in Queens, New York in 2006; the federal indictment of six New Orleans police officers for murdering civilians in the days following Hurricane Katrina, and the 2009 police shooting death of an unarmed Oscar Grant lying face down in an Oakland, California subway. Even President Obama became involved in the issue of race and police policies and practices when Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates was arrested by Cambridge, Massachusetts police outside his home after reports of a possible break-in. The president invited Gates and the arresting officer, Sgt. James Crowley for a "beer summit" at the White House.

But according to the ACLU, while there has been progress in reforming some police departments-- particularly in cities that have a tradition of "good government" and well-organized communities of color--measuring the level of police brutality remains elusive. Reasons include different standards maintained by police departments, and their failure to release data on disciplinary and other matters. The 1994 Police Accountability Act requires the Attorney General to compile national data on the use of excessive force, but Congress has failed to fund it.

The data on the Bureau of Justice statistics website regarding arrest-related deaths and police stops date back to the Bush administration. Due to the politicization of the Department of Justice under Bush, the Bureau 's reporting was compromised and its reports whitewashed. For example, the justice Department found that in 2002, white, black and Latino drivers were stopped at about the same rate, about 9 percent. However the report omitted the statistics concerning the racial disparities once they were stopped. For example, Latino drivers or their vehicles were searched by police 11.4 percent of the time and blacks 10.2 percent of the time, compared with 3.5 percent for whites. Further, blacks and Latinos faced force or the threat of force more often than whites, and police were more likely to issue tickets to Latinos than mere warnings.

In an effort to fill the gap, in 2009 the National Police Misconduct Statistics and Reporting Project was formed to record, analyze and approximate police misconduct in the U.S. by gathering news media reports. Their most recent data from the first nine months of 2010 tracked 3,814 unique reports of police misconduct involving 4,966 law enforcement officers and 5,711 alleged victims and 193 fatalities. One quarter of the cases, or 1,242, involved the use of excessive force, the most prominent type of misconduct. Of the excessive force reports, 735 (58.4 percent) involved physical use of force such as fist strikes, throws, choke holds and baton strikes. Firearms were involved in 175 complaints (14.1 percent) and tasers in 126 (10.1 percent), with police dogs, police vehicles, chemical weapons and mixed use of force accounting for the remainder of cases. Meanwhile, 7 percent of the excessive force cases--92 cases--resulted in fatalities. Of those fatalities reported, 68 were caused by firearms, 15 were caused by physical force, 11 by taser, and 3 by other means. During that time, an estimated $213 million was spent on police misconduct-related civil judgments and settlements.

CCR Report on NYPD stops-and-frisks

If the brand new data coming from New York City are any indication, racial profiling and police misconduct are a growing problem 20 years after Rodney King. According to NYPD data for 2010, police officers made 600,601 street stops, a record high that is 3.5 percent higher than the 580,000 stops from the previous year. Seven percent of the stops last year resulted in an arrest, compared with 6 percent in 2009. According to the Center for Constitutional Rights a leading civil rights law firm and advocacy organization, these stops are race-based, and they have the data to prove it. One of a coalition of organizations that challenged the Giuliani administration's law enforcement abuses in the 1990s, CCR continues its battle under the Bloomberg administration.

In midtown Manhattan, CCR has placed an ad on the Times Square Jumbotron showing that in 2009 in the Big Apple, a record 576,394 people were stopped, 84 percent of whom were black and Latino residents -- although they make up only 26 percent and 27 percent of the city's total population, respectively. "Stop-and-Frisk Does Not Reduce Crime" reads the CCR ad. CCR has found that stops-and-frisks are increasing every year, with a 600 percent increase between 2002 and 2009. The organization filed a class action lawsuit against the NYPD and the City of New York for their practice of unconstitutional racial profiling and stop-and-frisk practices, and has issued a report called Racial Disparities in NYPD Stops-and-Frisks.

Their report -- which contains data from 2005 to 2008, supplemented by an update for 2009 and 2010-found that when blacks and Latinos are stopped by the NYPD, 45 percent of them were frisked, as opposed to only 29 percent of whites. This occurs despite the fact that whites, who are 44 percent of New York's population, are 70 percent more likely to have a gun. Moreover, CCR found there was no correlation between the proportion of stops-and-frisks by race and the rate of arrest or summons, demonstrating that stop-and-frisk is an ineffective crime-fighting tool.

Further, blacks and Latinos are more likely to have physical force used against them. For example, in early 2008, 18 percent of whites stopped had physical force used against them by the NYPD, as opposed to 24 percent of Latinos and blacks.

"The take away is that it simply doesn't matter whether neighborhoods have low crime rates, are mostly black, mostly Latino, racially mixed, mostly white; black and Latino residents are more likely to be stopped than whites," said Vince Warren, CCR's Executive Director. According to Warren, since CCR started suing the NYPD in 1999, the police claimed that they stop people based on reasonable suspicion that a crime was committed, based on a description of a perpetrator, and as an effective means to get guns off the street.

"The significance of this meticulously researched report, which includes analysis based on the police department's own data, is that it confirms what black and brown people have been saying for years: race drives police stops and frisks, not crime," Warren said. "Nearly half of all stops over the last six years were justified by citing the vague category 'furtive movements,' as opposed to only 15 percent citing 'fits relevant description". In more than half of all stops, the officers cite "high crime area" as an "additional circumstance" even in precincts with lower than average crime rates," he added.

Warren also commented on the report's finding that stop-and-frisk yields an extremely low proportion of gun recoveries, a negligible 0.15 out of a hundred stops, which he called "completely pitiful."

The significance of this report, according to Warren, is that New York must come to grips with its racial profiling problem. "There are hundreds of thousands of innocent black and brown New Yorkers who daily suffer the indignities of these illegal police tactics. And the police department should be protecting them and not harassing them," Warren said. "What's clear, is that the first priority for city leaders should be to protect innocent residents from its own law enforcement tactics. And that's going to require the Mayor, the police commissioner and others responsible to drop the stale rhetoric of crime control and make some urgent changes in the way they treat communities of color," Warren added.

In addition to urging citizens to know their rights, the CCR report makes a number of recommendations, including greater transparency and availability of data by the NYPD; increasing the scope and authority of the Civilian Complaint Review Board; creating a permanent Independent Police Auditor to review police policies and practices in order to propose systemic reforms; and forming a community-based CopWatch program to monitor law enforcement.

Beyond the statistics, New Yorkers and Americans everywhere are left with a cultural divide that causes whites and people of color to have fundamentally different experiences with the police. A New York Times/CBS poll asked respondents if they ever felt they were stopped by the police based on their race or ethnicity. While 66 percent of black men said yes, only 9 percent of white men answered in the affirmative. Some scholars maintain that racial profiling, a bad law enforcement practice, is nevertheless ubiquitous in American society.

"Racial profiling is the thin end of the wedge of our misuse of the criminal justice system as a major instrument of urban social policy," said Harvard Law Professor Lani Guinier in the recently published book, Twelve Angry Men: True Stories of Being a Black Man In America Today. The book is an anthology of stories told by African-American men who have made encounters with the police.

Guinier noted that when cops profile the black guy, they risk missing the bad guy. "Racial profiling is like second-hand smoke that circulates invisibly in dark, closed spaces. Racial profiling is pervasive (at least in part) because the commonplace association of black people with danger exerts a powerful yet often imperceptible influence on the operation of the unconscious minds of many Americans, not just those who work in law enforcement," said Guinier. The law professor also decried the lack of racial literacy in the U.S., which prevents Americans from understanding how racial profiling pollutes them collectively. Perhaps this provides an answer as to whether we can all get along.

Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 14:39:00 -0800

To many women, being described as “sexy” is the ultimate compliment. Sexy is the epitome of femininity and the embodiment of sophistication and sensuality. The label implies that not only is a woman attractive but that she also elicits passion and desire and stimulates all of the senses.

The secret about sex appeal is that it’s less about looks and more about inner confidence. What makes a woman sexy is not necessarily about the stilettos she steps out in, but how she carries herself in them. Here are ten ways to introduce a little bit of sexy into your daily routine:

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

1. Stop saving the sexy underwear for “getting some”.

Many women think black lace boy shorts are only for impressing potential bedroom buddies, but the truth is that most men can’t distinguish La Perla from Playtex. There’s something soothing and sensual about the feeling of silk, lace or satin cradling your most intimate parts. Knowing that, secretly, beneath your pinstriped pantsuit you’re rocking leopard print panties can give you an extra boost confidence you may need in the boardroom. Make your fancy intimates a daily part of your wardrobe as well as the understanding that the most important person you can be sexy for, is yourself.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday
2. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

When it comes to cosmetics there’s nothing hotter than a smoky eye. Smoky eyes are bit severe for a daytime look, but by night this look is the secret ingredient to the sexiest smoldering, come-hither glare. Grey, navy and dark green are all shadow colors that can be used to achieve this popular makeup technique. Kits like Sephora’s Beauty in a Box Sexy Smoky Eye Palette can help you achieve this sophisticated look in six easy steps. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder, so if you don’t know your lines, the least you can do is look the part.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday
3. Put your back into it.

Showing some skin can be intimidating because the usual displays include cleavage or a little bit of leg which can be inappropriate for some occasions. Choose a less popular body part to highlight like your collarbone, back or shoulders. This trick conveys sex appeal without appearing desperate. An open-back dress can draw attention at a cocktail party for all of the right reasons. Off the shoulder sweaters leave much to the imagination while also showing off a sensual neckline. Choose a part of your body that you are proud of and find a clever way to allow it sometime in the spotlight.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

4. Pull a Rapunzel and let your hair down.

Pulling you hair into a ponytail or twisting it into a messy chignon is effortless and easy, but ironically can make you seem uptight and low maintenance. The first step to relaxing and releasing is letting your hair down. Sex appeal is all about appearing calm, cool and collected and fussy tight styles are anything but that. Opt for looks that don’t require an arsenal of styling products and tools and that are easy to maintain.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday
5. Splash on the scent of attraction.

Your scent sends a message about the kind of woman you are before you even enter the room so it’s important to choose something that accurately represents your character and compliments your natural body chemistry. Floral scents like Ralph Lauren Romance and Givenchy Very Irresistible contain notes of peony, tuberose and rose and send a message of femininity and passion. Fresh scents like DKNY Be Delicious represent effervescence and energy and often contain notes of citrus. The free-spirited and nurturing woman might prefer Gucci by Gucci or Miss Dior Cherie with notes of sandalwood and patchouli and oriental scents like Calvin Klein Euphoria are for the spicy and fiery femme fatale who enjoys scents of spice and cinnamon. Whatever your choice, make sure that it enhances your unique personality.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

6. Fake it until you make it

A large component of sex appeal is confidence, but those of us still trying to find the way to self assurance may need some assistance. Convincing yourself that you are a captivating vixen may require stepping outside your comfort zone and partaking in the behavior and practices that you consider sexy although you may not yet be able to see yourself in that way. Seek inspiration in celebrities that embody your idea of sexy. Maybe you admire Gabrielle Union’s girl-next-door charm or Selita Ebanks’ s sultry sophistication. It’s ok to emulate the professionals while you hone an attitude of your very own.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

7. Pump it up.

Everyone should own at least one pair of high heels. High heels by design improve your posture because they force you to stand tall which is a symbol of confidence and professionalism. They also accentuate your leg muscles. Afraid of breaking your ankles? Start off with shorter heels no higher than three and a half inches and work your way up to higher heels when you’ve learned how to maintain your balance. Keep in mind that it’s important to give your feet a rest and switch up styles regularly; abusing high heels can result in muscle overuse, foot deformation and back pain.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

8. Treat the world like your own personal runway

Taking long strides and tilting your head back tells the world that you are about your business. Allow your arms to swing naturally and keep an expression that is thoughtful and approachable. A strong walk is determined purposeful and nothing is sexier than a woman with a sense of purpose.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday
9. Create a signature look

You know you can count on Rihanna to turn heads with a sassy short cut. Most celebrities have stylist to help them create a specific image, but us regular folk can also represent our own individual style without much hassle. Maybe you have an eye for eclectic jewelry or you can’t be spotted without a creative manicure. Finding a unique way to brand yourself is the first step to starlet status.

Beauty: Preserve Your Sexy: 10 Ways to Feel a Little Sexier Everyday

10. Accept yourself…flaws and all.

The sexiest sista doesn’t avoid her imperfections, she embraces them. She also doesn’t hold the flaws of others over their heads. Flaws can sometimes be sexy in their own right: beauty marks are nothing but misplaced moles and a come-hither glare sometimes goes by the name of a crooked smile. Sexy is far from perfect. It’s never forced or rehearsed, and remember: If it requires too much effort then it probably isn’t very sexy at all.

Tattoos to Avoid By All Means Necessary

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 14:16:00 -0800

Oh, how addictive getting tatted up can be.

When people tell me they want a new tattoo but aren’t sure of what to get, I always want to yell at them in dismay not to get one. Not because I’m against body art, but because when people get that craving to feel the needle against their skin, they usually come out of the parlor with a marking they’ll regret. Something spur of the moment. We can all agree there’s no need for you to have a tattoo of your own name. And while most small, hidden tattoos that catch people by surprise can be sexy, these days, spontaneous (basically stupid) designs end up too big to hide and the person ends up having to explain their body of work everytime it meets someone’s eye. So if you want to try out a new tattoo, I beg of you, check out the following failures in tattoo trends and avoid them at all costs

Madame Noire | Black Women's Lifestyle Guide | Black Hair | Black Love Facebook Connect Register Login * Home * TV * Love & Marriage * Interviews * Beauty * Parenting * Fashion * Health + Wellness * Living * How To * Career * News Love & Marriage: Relationship Debate: ‘How Do I Teach My Man How to Treat Me?’

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 14:09:00 -0800

Dear China,

I have just one question. How do I teach my boyfriend how I want to be treated (i.e. opening doors for me, pulling my chair out, e.t.c.)? I am anxious to hear your thoughts on this.

Sincerely,
Gentleman School

Dear Gentleman School,

So, you want your man to pull out your chair before you sit, open up doors and so on, huh? Interesting. Now, I’m going to assume you’re describing an adult male here. And if you are, I’m sorry to say that–IN GENERAL–it’s pretty tough to teach an old dog new tricks. His mom, dad, or guardian figure would have had to teach him any habits that were going to come naturally to him. If he doesn’t already hold doors for you (which, I must say, is quite weird, because even the kind homeless people of New York City will hold the door for you), then I’m not sure that he’s all of a sudden going to “learn.”

Heck, you know what I really want to know? How the heck did he become your boyfriend in the first place, if he wasn’t meeting your standards? See–this is where women always go wrong. They think they can get into a relationship with someone after he has failed plenty of requirements for one, then they try to change that person–months into the relationship. Doesn’t work that way, cherie.

Still, if this issue bothers you–which it should–you can discuss with him the type of chivalry and civil behavior that you prefer to have in a relationship.

If it helps the discussion, maybe you can point out that, just as there are certain courtesies you would like for him to grant you as his woman, you too are willing to grant him certain courtesies: e.g. clearing his dishes, opening his door after he lets you in the car (depending on what kind of car he drives), and any other courtesies that are important to him.

Don’t turn the request into an argument or a festival of criticisms, but try this conversational approach and see if it works. Let me know how it goes!

À Bientôt…
Good Luck,
~ Madame C.

The Top 21: Our List of Outstanding Black Doctors

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 13:59:00 -0800

More than a century ago, Dr. James McCune Smith did what had never been done before. He became the first black person to earn a medical degree and practice medicine in this country. It took him years of determination and an education in Europe to accomplish that. Yet he paved the way for possibility. Today black doctors are still breaking ground and carrying on that legacy of dedication and determination.

Some of these black doctors have not only been first in their class, but achieved firsts in their field of medicine. They’ve gone on to open doors to the most elite medical schools including Yale and Johns Hopkins, and encourage medical leaders of tomorrow to carry on. They’ve also ventured into new fields that had never been tapped by black doctors before them, including transplant surgery and ophthalmology. Along the way, these great physicians have garnered the attention and earned the respect of people across the nation and around the world. Here are a few of the doctors at the top of our list:

Dr. Ben Carson is a legend in American medicine. He’s a neurosurgeon and the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital – a title he’s held since he was 32 years old. The Detroit native and son of a single mother who couldn’t read started his medical journey at Yale University. From there he attended the University of Michigan Medical school. Since graduation he has broken new ground in his field and famously separated adjoined twins during a historic surgery. His autobiography “Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story” was a bestseller, and was turned into a TV movie. In 2008 Dr. Carson was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the United States.

Dr. Snooklove or: How Snooki Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Jersey Shore

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 13:49:00 -0800

Oh, and did we mention she deep throats a pickle, too?

Waaah-hoooo! On the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone, America’s favorite pickle addict/diminuitive star of the Jersey Shore, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, is pretty clearly paying tribute to Slim Pickens’ famed rocket ride from the stone classic 1964 film, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb. That said, we’re fairly confident that this Stanley Kubrick reference was lost on our gal Snooks.

In a video interview taken during the cover shoot (which we’ve got for you below), she compares the rocket ship she’s straddling to Seabiscuit, but not because of the extreme speed with which both the rocket and the famous equine moved. Nope, “Seabiscuit” is a reference to the size of her housemate Vinny’s, um, “ding dong” (her words, not ours). Glad we got that clarification! As the interview continues, she also discusses what life is really like inside the Jersey Shore house (“It’s just like prison, with cameras”), as well as her aspirations for life after the show (“What I’d like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand. She makes millions”), among other bits of Snooki-related marginalia.

Snooki’s famous last words? “Goodbye Rocket, You Hurt My Ass. Peace.” If you want to read more, be sure to check out this issue of Rolling Stone, which hits newsstands on Friday. But if you just want to revel in the delight that is Nicole Polizzi, we’ve got tons of Snooki photos for you here on TheFABLife!

Poll: Who Was The Best Female Singer On American Idol?

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 13:44:00 -0800

It felt like the women of American Idol were on shakier ground than the men this week, judging from last night’s performances. There were far fewer ladies who are definite locks to advance to the next round, although it’s safe to say Pia Toscano gave the best performance of the night. Toscano received the first standing ovation of the season for her rendition of “I’ll Stand By You,” and as the night’s final performer, it was clear that the producers knew they had something amazing with her and saved the best for last.

Also impressive were the youngest competitors, Thia Megia, who we actually are pretty sure is 30 and not 15, and country girl Lauren Alaina. Beyond that, we have no idea who will make it. Let us know who your favorite female singer from last night was in our poll, and tell us in the comments who you think should go home. (We personally need Haley Reinhart and her throaty growl to take a hike. Are we wrong?)
Who Was The Best Female Performer On Idol Last Night?

Pia Toscano 30.77%

Thia Megia 13.85%

Lauren Alaina 15.38%

Lauren Turner 6.15%

Haley Reinhart 9.23%

Karen Rodriguez 16.92%

Naima Adedapo 3.08%

Kendra Chantelle 1.54%

Rachel Zevita 1.54%

Ta-Tynisa Wilson 0%

Ashthon Jones 1.54%

Julie Zorrilla 0%
LEAVE UR ANSWER

Paula Abdul Called 911 Over V-Day Argument With Boyfriend

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 13:34:00 -0800

Her rep is making this seem like a small matter, but it obviously wasn’t one at the time. A recording of Paula Abdul calling 911 on Valentine’s Day has hit the web, with the former Idol host crying on the 101 freeway that her boyfriend wouldn’t let her out of the car. “I wanna go, and he won’t let me!” she shrieked, yelling to the driver, “Are you gonna drop me off ’cause I have emergency on the phone!” She quickly announces “he’s dropping me off” and ends the call, but cops were concerned enough to call her back and visit her home that night. Abdul refused to file a police report and swore the argument was strictly verbal.

“Arguments with loved ones are often times heated,” Abdul’s rep told TMZ, “After the call was made everything was worked out.” Abdul was reportedly already in a “devastated” state over the imminent cancellation of Live To Dance—was she in genuine danger or merely hysterical?

Mariah Carey “Unaware” Concert Was For Gaddafis; JLo Turned Them Down

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 13:29:00 -0800

When you’re used to getting paid millions of dollars to sing any three songs off “Butterfly,” maybe you don’t always take the time to find out exactly who is forking over all that cash. So we understand how it could possibly be that Mariah Carey didn’t know she was playing a Gaddafi concert. Whoops! “I was naive and unaware of who I was booked to perform for. I feel horrible and embarrassed to have participated in this mess,” Carey said in a statement today. Look, are we really going to blame Mimi for this? If a mysterious figure offered to pay off our student loans, you think we’d turn it down? Well, we would now since, you know, it’s almost certainly money from a dictator.

Not that every celeb is so in the dark about the people sitting in the front row; Jennifer Lopez turned down a Gaddafi concert to the tune of $2 million. Either way, it looks like Carey has to humble herself before the judging eyes of society, as humble as an eight-month-pregnant woman wearing five-inch Louis Vuittons can be. “Ultimately we as artists are to be held accountable,” Mariah admitted. “Going forward, this is a lesson for all artists to learn from. We need to be more aware and take more responsibility regardless of who books our shows.” So is Carey going to donate her Gaddafi money like Beyonce or Nelly Furtado? “Mariah has and continues to donate time, money, and countless hours of personal service both here and abroad,” Carey’s rep Cindi Berger said, which we take to mean not really. Looks like Mariah has to start looking at who’s signing her checks; next thing you know she’ll be hitting the high notes in “Honey” to applause from Darth Vader and the Imperial Army.

Lil Wayne Proud of Proteges

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 12:47:00 -0800

Rapper Recalls Drake, Nicki Minaj's Beginnings
6:00AM ET March 3rd, 2011
Contributor : Stephen Willis
A Rocky Williform Company

Lil Wayne Proud of Proteges

Since his release from prison in November, Lil Wayne hasn't had much time to brag about his Young Money proteges Drake and Nicki Minaj. But, now that he's had some time to regain his rhythm and with Drake earning Grammy nods and Nicki Minaj the most talked-about female rapper in over a decade, Weezy sat down with MTV and reminisced a bit about how far his label's young stars have come.

"The first thing I said was this kid's a superstar," said Wayne of Drake. "I don't think you can remember, but I did some interviews back then when they were asking me about him and I said he's better than me. I can't sing. I can make a song, but this kid has the actual R&B presence. Then he's one of the dopest lyricists. That right there, he has a welcoming appearance."

"I can't front, I just thought she was going to be the new female emcee that none of these other female emcees can touch," Weezy said of Nicki Minaj. "But now, she's blossomed into a megastar with this new attitude and this style. Now when I talk to her, I just tell her, 'Do what you do, baby.' I used to be able to go into the studio and say, 'Nah, don't say that, don't say that.' You know, 'That was better.' Now, do what you do, baby. I don't have a clue about what you're doing right now, but it's working, do it."

Serena Williams Suffered Blood Clot

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 12:39:00 -0800

Tennis Superstar Underwent Emergency Treatment
6:00AM ET March 3rd, 2011
Contributor : Erica Moore
A Rocky Williform Company

Serena Williams Suffered Blood Clot

Tennis superstar Serena Williams was rushed to the hospital and underwent emergency treatment at Cedars Sinai Medical Center for a hematoma she suffered from treatment for a more critical condition. According to her representatives, Williams suffered a blood clot in her lung.

According to OK magazine, the pulmonary embolism was discovered when she returned to Los Angeles after she had been in New York. Williams was in NYC due to ongoing treatment on her foot. Reportedly doctors are continuing to monitor her progress in an attempt to preempt any further complications.

The Motown Sound: In Performance at the White House?" Jamie Foxx, John Legend, Jordin Sparks!

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 12:35:00 -0800

Snow Bunnies Getting it in!!.......Playboy's Top Party Schools 2011 Preview is Off the Chain!! (Shake it) lol

goonville515@gmail.com (Cutthroat) — Thu, 3 Mar 2011 12:23:00 -0800