Catching Fireflies

Happy Birthday Adalyn!

2014-06-16T11:01:00.001-04:00

Two years ago today began a 117 day journey that will forever be a part of our lives

1lb 13oz, and 13.3" long, covered in plastic to keep her warm the very first day

Kept in an isolette to keep her body temperature constant, and sickness out

Bright red skin, an eye patch, and phototherapy for Jaundice

CPAP in her nose; feeding tube down her throat; pulse oximeter on her hand or foot; temperature sensor; IVs in her hand/arms/feet/legs, electrodes to measure heart-rate, respiration, and blood pressure

IVs were changed every 2-3 days, she was poked and prodded sometimes for an hour as they tried to find a vein in her tiny arms and legs; they were all used up, and they told me they might have to use her head. A PICC line was inserted instead, an infection resulted, but the doctor caught it immediately

Her little body working so hard to keep warm, take poops, and survive out of the womb, that weight gain (and loss) was measured in grams/ounces, and it took a full month to gain 3 ounces!

Held for the first time at 4 days old, eyes fused shut for 5 days

Her eyes were black; her skin was so fragile and translucent you could see the 4 sections of her heart and everytime it beat; her ears had no cartilage and needed to be folded back to form a natural shape

She had hair all over her body, including her face; over the first month, we watched her eyebrows form as the hair became less and less

Glucose measured for weeks to track her spikes; feedings adjusted to not disrupt her little body and prevent serious illness.

I learned to advocate for her, learned the terms of the NICU, all the tubes and controls on the monitor, all of the nurses' names; I learned to pick her up by myself, we learned to take her temperature and change her diaper.

CPAP was taken out around 2 weeks old and she breathed on her own for a full 10 hours! When she began de-satting, she was put back on low-flow O2. She had trouble breathing, remembering to breathe, and had no energy to do so; a nurse spent an hour with her just concentrating on getting her to breathe. She was put back on CPAP.

I learned the monitor's beeps. The slow rhythmic beeping that her O2 was low but okay, the faster beep meaning that an electrode was probably loose, and the important beep that jumped you out of your chair to make sure she brought her pulse back up again. The hoping that you'll eventually get that noise out of your head when you sleep at night, and you'll be able to live without that noise assuring you that your baby is okay. Hearing the most important monitor sound of all down the hall, and having your own heart drop seeing all the nurses sprint to the room. Seeing a family member hear the intercom at a grocery store go off and instantly looking around reminding themselves they're not in the NICU.

She eventually made it from 2lbs to 3, and it became more steady from there; we started seeing progress instead of worrying every day; she was old enough to put the feeding tube down her nose instead of in her mouth

We went from needing permission once a week to hold her, to being able to take her out twice a day, to only needing to mention to the nurses that I was going to take her out.

Her eye exam came and I was told that I might want to leave the room. The eye doctor had clips formed for the little preemies' eyes to hold them open. Ady screamed, but only for a minute. It was the biggest scream I had ever heard come out of her little mouth.

She was big enough to wear her first onesie; she was stable enough to graduate from the NICU to the CCN; she could maintain her body temperature and graduated from her isolette to a bassinet, to an open crib; I could hold her whenever I wanted; we started bottle feeding; she got her first bath; her grandparents held her for the first time; she stopped needing O2; we took her off of her monitor for the first time; I learned to live without the monitor, and started to trust myself; she got a barium swallow x-ray to detect reflux issues; we tried rice cereal and different bottles/positions; her due date came and went; she got a brain MRI; she passed her carseat test; we worked with the doctor on adjusting her feedings, and the doctor trusted me; it took 5 weeks for her to learn how to feed, but Ady finally ate what she needed, and we went home on October 10, 2012.

June 16 may have began the 117 day journey in the NICU; but October 10 began our journey at home, and raising a little girl.

She was 9lbs 2oz the day she was discharged from the hospital. A few days later for her first doctor's appointment, she was 9lbs. I panicked a little, thinking we were going to have to go back to the NICU. The doctor scheduled another appointment for the next week, and she weighed 9lbs 4oz, and he wasn't worried. She started smiling, holding her head up, holding her own bottle; She started noticing things around her, like her toys, the cat and dog, and the people. She would follow us with her head/eyes as we walked around, heard us before we entered the room.
She still hated eating, and we tried several bottles and I finally found one that she would use without problems. She started enjoying her bottles, and I was so relieved I almost cried. We checked off her milestones, one by one; some of them were a little late, but some of them were really early. I started relaxing when she learned to roll over, and to sit up. She was going to be fine!
She's a little climber; she started to climb up people, chairs, couches, anything she could pull up on before she could crawl!
It took a little longer for her to learn how to walk; she was 14 months adjusted, but she did it! She started learning words, peoples' names, and then she started learning and making sense! She knew Chloe was a dog, but she also knew Chloe was her name. She knows which door to go to when she wants to give Chloe a snack, when she wants to go get the mail, to go get Nana, to go to the bathroom, or to go to sleep.
We really enjoy her temper tantrums as well. I used to not be able to deal with her whining when she was a baby, or her temper tantrums when she was 1. Now though, she's starting to understand me; I know that she knows I want her to stop crying when I say "look at me", so if she continues to have a fit, well than that's her issue! We have learned that "all done" or "all gone" helps prevent her from having a tantrum if something is taken away, and that "byebye" helps when she needs to stop something, like playing on the slide or in the pool.
She knows that "row row" (row your boat) is the song we sing when we brush her teeth; she knows poo and pee, but she's not ready for the potty yet; she knows please, thank you, excuse me, and bless me; she has a 9-11pm bedtime because she doesn't want to slow down, and she wants everybody possible around her when she's going to sleep.
We have learned her personality, and we make adjustments to try to help her; the little 1lb 13oz baby is 2 years old, and she knows what she wants when she wants it! It's been quite the journey so far, and we have a ways to go with her prematurity and possible learning disabilities, but I've learned to let go and try not to worry; we have her now in this stage, and it's fun, and time for us to enjoy her tantrums because we have come so far from those 117 days! Happy 2nd birthday, Adalyn!!

March for Babies

2014-04-24T12:38:00.000-04:00

http://www.gofundme.com/Give-Babies-a-Chance

Please consider donating!!!

What is a NICU? I had no clue

2013-10-02T17:04:00.002-04:00

Dear Pregnant Me:

A year and a half ago, February, 2012, you just found out you were 5-6 weeks pregnant. You were scared, nervous, sad, happy, excited, and nervous all over again. You’re a naturally paranoid person, so your first online search wasn’t for “what the baby needs” or “what to expect in the first trimester”, it was “what can go wrong during child birth?”

Here are some things a NICU mom wishes she knew:

1) It is not what can go wrong during child birth, it’s what can go wrong during a pregnancy

Pre-Eclampsia

HELLP

Placental Abruption

Miscarriage

Stillborn

2) How can I prevent a premature birth

You can’t!

3) What is a NICU

Neonatal Intensive Care Unit; specialty care pediatric units, usually for premature babies, and sometimes for full-term babies with issues. Go take a tour

4) How early can a baby be born and survive

Earliest one known is 22 weeks

5) What kind of life will this baby lead if they are born ___ early

You never know! They can be perfectly healthy, or they can have brain bleeds, CP, rely on O2, etc.

6) What will the baby look like

Depending on how early, your baby may have a transparent layer of “skin”; you will be able to see the heart beating, and the veins under the skin. He or she may have hair all over their face, no lips, and their ears will have no cartilage

7) What will the baby act like

They will sleep on their back, on their bellies, with their arms up, and down.. they will move all around, or be very still. They will try and open their eyes, which will be completely black; they will open and close their hands, yawn, cry, and feel pain

8) What will be expected of me

Nothing will be expected. The nurses will offer if you want to take the baby’s temperature, change their diaper, hold a hand over the baby to calm them down; you will learn all of the ticks and beeps, all of the machines, and all of the numbers, but in your own time. They will ask if you want to hold them, and then tell you that today is not a good day for them to be held. You are expected to be strong, you’re expected to cry.

9) Will I be strong

And for how long will I remain strong? Am I not normal if I don’t cry? I got upset once a week or 2 after my daughter was born when she was crying, and I couldn’t do anything to help her. I was mad at myself for doing this to her, and I just wanted to go home.

10) How long is the average stay for a baby born ___ early

Mine was 117 days. Some are 100 days, some are 6 months. Some are born at 28 weeks, and leave 4-5 weeks later!

11) Where will I live during this time

Check with your hospital social worker; there may be a Ronald McDonald nearby, you may be able to stay in the NICU if there are individual rooms for your babies, or you might have to travel back and forth

12) How much will it cost

Thousands of dollars each day. Check with your social worker for any programs to help, such as SSI, your local insurance (MaineCare for me), WIC programs, etc.

13) What kinds of surgeries might this baby need

They might need heart surgery, brain surgery, eye surgery, or none at all

14) What are all of the IVs sticking out my baby’s hand, arm, foot, head…

The IVs are feeding your baby with necessary fluids for them to survive. An IV can only last for 2-3 days, so they will need to restick your baby’s arm, leg, or even head, every time. Sometimes, a PICC line is used instead, which can last weeks instead of days.

15) What are these instruments/tools called, and used for

Pulse, Oxygen, Respiratory, IV, CPAP, etc… wires, tubes, nasal cannulas, and more wires

16) What do these buzzing alarms mean, and will I ever get used to them

Each notification has a different tone. Beep beep, your baby’s oxygen or respiratory lead has come off, it needs to be fixed, but don’t panic; look at your baby, she is fine. BEEP, your baby has dipped in respiratory levels but most likely just forgot to breathe for a few seconds; it should start coming back up any time soon. BEEP BEEP BEEP, ok she still is forgetting to breathe, somebody remind her.

17) When the nurses don’t come running when one of those alarms go off, can I freak out

The nurses know what they are doing. If an alarm goes off and it’s important, they will be there.

18) Is it ok to take a break, go for a walk, go to the beach, go home…

YES

19) What types of questions should I ask the doctors and nurses

Anything. They are there for you and your baby.

20) The one that I still struggle with... should I work?
I didn't, and I wish I did.. at least part time. That's a lot of money to make up/lose, and a lot of bills still to be paid every month. But, some people did work and they wish they hadn't. They wanted to be at the hospital with their baby. Make the choice that is best for you, and don't let anybody make you feel bad about it.

Crossfit Pregnant mom Commentors 2

2013-09-22T12:24:00.004-04:00

On a side note, not relating to losing babies
1) Mind your own business
2) Stop feeling SO free to judge other people, especially other women's pregnancies
3) You are not a doctor
4) She was 8.5 months pregnant, obviously has had a successful healthy pregnancy, so far, and had 2 prior to this as well. I think she knows what she's doing, and so do HER doctors.
5) Women who are in shape, weight-lifters, athletes, etc.. are very aware of their body, their abilities, limitations, and ANY changes that they feel relating to their health
6) Yeah, mind your own business again.. unless it's a cocaine using, cigarette smoking pregnant mom- then feel free!!

To Crossfit Pregnant Mom Commentors

To Crossfit "pregnant mom" Commentors

2013-09-22T12:23:00.001-04:00

"“This is why CrossFit is horrible. No one knows what they're doing. This is a good way to lose your baby,” wrote Facebook user Evan Kennedy, a physical therapist."
Source: http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/should-pregnant-women-be-weightlifting---200459884.html

1) I did NOT exercise when I was pregnant
2) I almost lost my baby

The End

On a Side Note.... Crossfit Pregnant Mom Commentors 2

Refer to the following posts to observe my 23 week premature baby that I had while not working out:
Adalyn's 1st Year Video
Life in the NICU/CCN

Happy 1st Birthday, Adalyn!

2013-06-17T11:08:00.000-04:00

Allowing Kids to be Kids

2013-03-30T17:43:00.001-04:00

A few years ago, my mom and I were at a performance (I’m not sure what, exactly), and there were some kids running up and down the aisles. They were probably no older than 5 years old, laughing and playing around in-between shows. Everybody around us was happily enjoying them, and there were no parents telling them to sit down or to “shh!” My mom mentioned how when I was younger, she wishes that she would have let me do that. To let kids be kids is one of the hardest struggles a parent might face in a public place.

On a visit to an appointment a couple weeks ago, there was a little boy walking around and playing quietly, not bothering the only 2 other people in the room. His mother told him to sit down and stop making so much noise. He did. Then, he and his brother started telling jokes and messing around in their chairs. She told them a little bit louder to sit down and be quiet. Saying “shh” over and over again, is louder and more annoying than a kid laughing and playing around. And many people agree with me on this when we’re out in places and it happens. My daughter is still a baby, so I don’t know how I’ll react to her when she’s older in this type of situation, but I hope that I allow her to act her age and be silly as long as she’s not being rude. They’re kids, they know silliness and happiness. Stress, being rude, still, quiet, and stripped of their fun and innocence is worse to me than a 4 year old standing up and playing in her chair during previews at a theater.

I Support Breastfeeding, But... Part 2

2013-02-18T09:33:00.003-05:00

   Breastmilk has always been, and will always be, the most pure natural form of the greatest nutrition available for any baby or toddler. The immunity system that it offers to strengthen, the nutrition to help them grow, the connection that breastfeeding creates between son or daughter and mother. There is no replacing the value of the milk, and I'm sure that others will agree no replacing the feeling of that special bond with your infant.
I never got to experience that. As I explained in my other parenting blogs, my daughter was born 4 months early around 24 weeks gestation, and had a feeding tube through her mouth, and then her nose, for almost the entire 4 months. I pumped, every day, as often as I could. There were distractions, I'm sure there was internal stress, and there were times when I forgot to eat or drink water. I feel guilty every day about not trying harder to produce more, but my breastmilk stopped coming in after about 2 months. After this, I luckily had a stockpile from the beginning when I was overproducing, that lasted my daughter another 2 weeks. I tried power pumping, I tried oatmeal and mother's milk, and then as a last resort, I tried pumping every 2 hours for 20 minutes for 24 hours. Each time, getting nothing.
   I do not feel judged about bottle feeding in my personal life; most of the people that I know with babies are bottle feeding. But with the world as viral as it is, there is so much support right now in the communities that I'm involved in (Raising Natural Kids, with organic foods, medicines, etc... that is the type of person that I am), so in a way I feel attacked when people express their actual hatred for mothers who bottle feed, or don't try to breastfeed, etc. Yes, I said hatred for it. I have seen posts that stated how they don't think that mothers who bottle feed are good mothers, love their babies enough, and so on. It is one thing to support breastfeeding, it's another to attack people that don't.

To see my daughter's journey through the NICU, please see the Parenting section of my blog for pictures and other stories

I Support Breastfeeding, But...

2013-02-13T21:33:00.001-05:00

REPLY TO: I am Not the Babysitter's Sh*t People Say...

How many breastfeeding moms out there have heard one (or all) of these comments?

By Bridget McGann

Isn’t she too old for that?
Aren’t YOU too old for that?
You’re gonna make him gay.
You’re gonna make her gay.
He’s gonna grow up to be a perv.

Those are just a few examples of questions that breastfeeding moms hear everywhere when family, friends, and strangers approach a baby, toddler, but mostly child, feeding. With social media, the support from Attachment Parenting, the increase in "natural" and organic products, and going back to basics (let me refer to home remodels here.. people are putting in CONCRETE counter-tops in place of granite or marble, and CORK floors in place of tile or hardwood!), women everywhere are beginning to embrace the natural process of breastfeeding. They are no longer ashamed, no longer private, and no longer limiting it to 1 years old. Mothers may not have been limiting prior to Facebook or Blogger, but it is more publicized; people are putting their pictures on the internet, of their babies eating from their breasts! Women used to cover up as a courtesy to others, now we consider it rude or offensive if somebody asks us if we want to cover up, or to please do so. Because it's natural, and people should be accepting of it... in parks, on a bus ride, on a very large picture on Time Magazine. I myself am one of those people, who finds it awkward when somebody is openly breastfeeding, or there's a picture of a 5 year old standing up feeding from his or her mother. I don't know anybody personally who was breastfed until those later stages of childhood, but if I was not transferred to a bottle before I was 2, I feel like I would have a very strange relationship with my mother. But, I don't consider myself a "normal" mother. I didn't feel connected to my baby while she was in my belly; I thought it was weird that someone was growing inside of me. Cool, but weird. I only made it to 24 weeks in my pregnancy, and was knocked out with anesthesia for an emergency c-section. I wasn't able to hold my daughter for 4 days after she was born. But I didn't feel the great need for it either, and for that I felt guilty. I wanted to hold her because I knew it was good for her, and because I knew I should want to, not because it would create a bond for me- which it didn't. She was supposed to "sat" higher on her oxygen during kangaroo care, but she struggled when I held her, and I had to put her back in her incubator. It was supposed to be automatic love between mother and child; when she started smiling at me, and responding to me with excitement that I was coming to pick her up... that's when the connection started for me. She was almost 7 months old. The first time that I tried breastfeeding, when she was 3 months, I had already run out of milk anyways, so the hope was that her latching on would bring back my supply. But it felt so unnatural- I felt like I was doing something to her without her permission. Somebody sucking on my boob, to put it plainly, felt like sexual assault because she had no say.
So, no, I am not a "normal" mother, with normal feelings and attachment, and I feel guilty every day about this, but I can't help who I am or how I feel. My love for people, even my daughter, grows with time and because of situations that occur such as her smiling at me, or starting to laugh.
So, in a very off topic round-about way of saying it... I support breastfeeding, but, to a certain extent.
I have never come across anybody in person who was actually breastfeeding a baby uncovered, but if I had, I probably either would have:
a) ignored it because I am not uncomfortable with that
b) asked if they needed something to cover up with... maybe they forgot theirs, and if I had forgotten mine, I would have been grateful for somebody asking!
c) offering them a piece of advice of where they may get more privacy... maybe they didn't know, and once again, I would have been grateful

If I came across somebody breastfeeding a child 3-10 years old, I still would have ignored it, but I would have felt very awkward and would have been thinking Wow, aren't they too old for that? I'm all for the nutritional value that it may add to kids in this age range, but I'm not comfortable with it. Pump the breastmilk and give it to them in a cup as a drink. If I ask you a question like "isn't he too old for that?" it's not meant to be negative towards you, it's mostly curiosity. Please don't take comments like this to heart unless they attack you- questions are natural; and feel good about the fact that they did ask you a question about it instead of just staring or talking behind your back!

See other Parenting Blogs: Catching Fireflies Parenting

1st Attempt at Making Cushions

2013-02-05T16:21:00.000-05:00

Crafty, Do-It-Yourself, creative... 3 words that do NOT describe me! But, regardless, it does save a lot of money if you have the time. I don't have a lot of time, so it may take a while to complete, but here is Step 1 of making my own cushions for the dining room table. Any chairs that I was interested in were at least $50 each, and only came in sets of 4. I need 10 chairs, which means I would be spending at least $500... If I'm able to find chairs for less, without a cushion, and I can figure out how to make them myself, I should save HALF of that cost!

3" Foam, enough for more than 10 chairs: $40.00 at Mardens
10 yards of fabric: $40.00 at Mardens
Chairs: STILL NEED!

3" Foam

A little choppy cutting with scissors! But that should be covered up

Measuring the fabric on each side.. I measured 4" but it turned out a little crooked,

even though I used a level! So it's shorter on one side, but still fits

Folding the fabric around the foam

I decided to fold it like a Christmas present

This is the front

The fabric that I chose for the dining room chairs

Trying it out on one of the chairs I'm borrowing for the winter

So, I need: Glue or Staple Gun, bigger chair or to shape the foam..

maybe even straps around the foam to hold it to the chair so it doesn't move...

Not too bad for my first try!

Since She's Been Out Pictures!

2013-02-02T11:21:00.003-05:00

I promised pictures! Original "Since she's been out" reflection
For more pictures "She's Out!"
For part of our journey in the NICU "Life in the NICU/CCN"

Reminder- this is where we came from (June 16-Oct 10) in the hospital

1lb13oz

Now: 9lbs 2oz!

Making herself at home, without Oxygen, and without a feeding tube!

She doesn't quite know where she is yet, after 117 days of "home" being the hospital

Photo shoot!

Enjoying some belly/sleep time

The cradle my dad made back 20ish years ago- first baby to actually sleep in it

She gets to visit her friends who came home a few months earlier!

And she gets to meet her cousin!

Getting comfortable- look how chunky she's getting!

She never liked her swaddles anyways

Keeping warm at her uncle's hockey game

Patriots fan on Thanksgiving!

Finally caught a smile on camera!

Learning to communicate!

Little girl in a big chair

Little girl in a little chair (used to be mine!)

hello!

Testing out her swing in her new home

Her buddy, Chloe!

Somebody's not happy :(

Going to visit Santa!

Look at her holding her head up!

She's discovered that her elephant's ear doesn't taste very good

Starting the New Year off walking across the floor.. she loves standing and bouncing!

Getting to be a big girl, playing with her toys

Her new toy! Looks a little tired, but she loves it!

"Hi Mommy! I'm playing with my elephant!"

I'll help :)

For more on our journey, see the below links:

Original "Since she's been out" reflection

For more pictures "She's Out!"

For part of our journey in the NICU "Life in the NICU/CCN"

Quick Snack/Dinner: Egg Sandwiches

2013-01-25T13:23:00.001-05:00

Forgot about dinner last night! So, at 10:30, I finally realized that I was hungry.. and also remembering that I made a promise to myself to be more healthy, I didn't just grab cereal!

Olive Oil to brown the bread

Yum!

Mushrooms!!!

Sauteed mushrooms in olive oil, black pepper, and a tiny bit of sea salt

New eggs :)

And it was delicious!

AP: What the heck is that?

2013-01-24T19:24:00.002-05:00

*This is in no way a judgement of

those who practice AP parenting!*

Just my reflection on my own parenting

The first time that I saw "AP dad", or "AP mom", my first thought was... "What is AP?" And what's with all of these new terms that keep coming out that you need a slang dictionary for! ISO (in search of), DIY (do-it-yourself), I thought DIY was a store! So, here we go again.. another "slang" term for, what's AP again? So, on to this website to research the newest addition to initials that I needed to learn, to be able to understand my friends, and I find Attachment Parenting. OK, I've heard of this before.. it's psychology terms, like authoritative versus permissive parenting! But then I learn that the term is being sponsored, represented by super-moms and dads, blogged about, and getting waves of attention as the best way to parent a baby.

Hold up here for a second!

People have been parenting this way for centuries! And now, all of a sudden, it's been given a label and put on a pedestal for parents as a guideline and comparison tool. What happened to parents following their heart, and doing what comes naturally to them. As long as the kid is safe? Not anymore! Now it's keep the kid safe, constantly be in contact with them, preferably skin-to-skin, and only positive reinforcement allowed. And people are actually following these as "rules"; step-by-step, actual directions! I have seen competitions on blogs where they are trying to find the best AP parent. It's not enough anymore to make it through the day with a little spit-up on your shirt; I need to clean the house, cook some home-made muffins for after my home-made dinner, and make some home-made playdoh, all while "wearing" my baby. And forget about those muffins now that they're in the stove! My baby is crying, so I need to ignore the fire alarm and feed her ASAP! Now, maybe the majority of people don't actually follow this 100% and allow a little room for the burning muffins, but I'm telling you, I have seen these parents! And like I said at the beginning, this is no judgment on their part- I say "good for them!" if they can do this!

Here's why AP just isn't for me:
- I was not ever able to breastfeed.
- I was not able to go through a natural birth.
- I was sticking a pacifier in my daughter's mouth so she would go back to sleep, instead of feeding her 3-4 times, at night.
- I don't take baths, and I feel awkward about joint-baths.. have my kid see me naked, even though she won't remember it? No thanks.
- I only have a baby, but I have a feeling that when my child is throwing a temper tantrum I'm not going to be able to just sit there and come up with a solution; yes, they are expressing an emotion, no, it is not the right way to express that emotion.
- And lastly, I don't wear my baby 24/7. I work, I cook, and I clean, all with her doing her own thing. She has her toys, and she fusses sometimes too, but I'm okay with that. She is learning to entertain herself, soothe herself, learns that yes I will eventually come back to save her, and it allows a little excitement in her eyes and smile when I do come back for her. She has learned that if she's hungry, I'll put her down in a certain spot and go through a specific set of motions, and she goes from crying because she's hungry to smiling and watching me, because she knows what I am doing!

If you want to baby-wear, breastfeed 24/7, and make home-grown home-made dinners and desserts every day, more power to you. I'm just happy I kept myself sane, and my daughter fed and cleaned, today without a total melt down on her part!

Wow, Yummy Fresh Start!

2013-01-22T22:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marks the first day of another fresh start to eating healthy! A few years ago, I was cooking all of my meals, wholefoods, vegetables, brown rice, etc.. Then I got into the bad habit of processed foods and junk; becoming pregnant a few months after this started didn't help either because of my exhaustion, and the energy it took to even cook a meal! So, what is this oh so yummy meal I cooked myself tonight?

Salmon
Veggies
Potatoes

The salmon was cooked at 400degrees for 15 minutes (probably a little too long, it was a bit dry). I marinated it in lemon, and covered in a bit of black pepper before I stuck it in the oven.

While this was cooking, I got 2 pots of water boiling, and added green beans and corn to one, and cubed/diced/sliced into squares, whatever cooking term you want to use, sweet potatoes to the other.
I have never tried sweet potatoes before, except for the fries which (in my opinion) were just gross! So I wasn't really excited to try them, but I know they're so good for you I couldn't pass them up. I have to be honest, I didn't try them flavorless.. I got out a mixing bowl and added honey and agave syrup, black pepper and a bit of sea salt to the diced sweet potatoes. MMMMM yum!

The corn and green peppers only had a bit of black pepper and sea salt added to them and they're always good.

My portions, as you can see in the picture, were a little off because I wanted to be sure I had enough veggies left over for seconds!!

(last night I also made a semi-good for you meal..)
Pasta- not so good, since it was packaged
Salad with pineapple and cottage cheese- not so good with ranch dressing and croutons
and Salmon- not so good from a can

I'm looking forward to this 2nd new beginning!

Blog has been Down!

2013-01-22T22:35:00.003-05:00

My blog has been down due to technical difficulties! New blog coming tomorrow!!
Thank you

Since she's been Out

2013-01-11T08:52:00.004-05:00

   Since Adalyn was discharged back on October 10, we have been through some major changes.
First, we moved her from the hospital to my parents' home. After being in the hospital for 117 days, this was a major change for her, and she showed it! I think she cried a few hours every day for a week straight, and would not take her bottle without trying for 2 hours first. In the first two days, she lost a couple of ounces; if she kept losing, we would have to go back to the hospital. Luckily, she decided to cooperate a bit and gained it back a few days later. Next, a few weeks later, Jason and I bought a house so we moved her again! Being in the car, and changing the environment around her proved, and still proves to be tiring and upsetting to her. She's getting better with it, but after traveling or visiting others at their houses, she is usually extremely fussy the next day. Either from not sleeping while she was there, or because she doesn't know what's going on when we keep bringing her from place to place. I wish I knew what was going on in her head!
   For about the first month since we had her home, she would cry pretty much everyday around 6pm; I would later learn that this is what colic is. But, every day, I would try to figure out what she wanted. And it was different every time. One day she would want a bottle, the next day she wanted to be held, the next day she would want to be held but walked around with; and usually if she wanted a bottle, you had to try every 15 minutes until she would take it! I can't express to you how happy I was to finally figure her out.. I learned her cries (she never cried in the hospital, because they force fed her through a feeding tube every 3 hours.. but more on that later!), her tired cry versus her hungry cry, and then even just her mad cry. And we learned that when she cries at night, it's because she wants another bottle even though she just ate an hour beforehand. So, no more crying!!
   Adalyn started to hate belly-time, then like it again; she started lifting her head up, and then eventually she could stabilize it on her own; she could only look to the right, and then she learned to move her head as she followed toys and people; when she was mad she would flip herself from her back to her stomach, and now I am currently watching her struggle to do it on purpose! She kicks and bounces and sings along when she gets excited as a cartoon called "Dinosaur Train" comes on; she likes her bottle! I think I cried the day that she actually got excited when I started putting her bib on her, and she grabbed her bottle. That was such a struggle in the hospital, it took her 5 weeks to eat before they could discharge us, and I thought she would never enjoy eating! When I took her bottle away because it got clogged, she would flip out; now, I take it out to unclog it and she watches me do it and waits for me to give it back to her. It's completely amazing to watch her learn and develop.
   I'd like to write a few more blogs about my struggles, coming into my own as a mom; learning to express myself; learning to stand up for myself and Adalyn against others, even and especially family; talking to the doctors about meeting in the middle of their expertise and my opinions as a mother.

Pictures of the past 3 months, since she got out of the hospital, coming soon! Check back again later!

Organization Part 2

2013-01-09T21:26:00.003-05:00

To expand on my earlier post, Organizational Starters, I have some additional pictures

(I have no idea why this picture loads upside down!!)

The silverware drawer had an organizer in it when we moved in, but there was so much dust/food leftover in the cracks that I threw them away! I found these bamboo trays to store them in.. Next, this drawer:

.......

Entry Way Part 2

The tubs weren't working, as you can see on the left.. everything just ended up on top. So I moved the tub upstairs to the closet, and brought the baskets down!

Adalyn's room: We were using plastic totes for her clothes, and the bureau was being used downstairs for her toys, diapers, etc.. the bureau has been replaced with 31 storage totes, and her clothes are now in Jason's bureau that he has had since he was a little boy.

How cute is this Winter Gear storage container!

I can finally put up some of her room decorations- there are no shelves in Adalyn's room, but now I have a flat surface!

One section of the closet! From piles of clothes to totes and hangers..

Another side of the closet.. we took off all of the doors, too, so that it's one open room now instead of 4 different closets in a room

My storage totes from 31 (thirty-one) and my bureau helped clean up all of my clothes

I have decided to use a hanger until I find better storage for scarves and belts.. I've seen that shower rings on a hanger actually work really well, so maybe I'll look into that!

.....

More 31 (thirty-one) bags for storage in the playroom- holds Adalyn's toys, diapers, bottles, and our DVD's

And lastly, here are some more pictures in the playroom that we hung a few weeks ago. They make it feel more like home in here!

Again, thank you for your feedback and comments/ideas

Please follow my page, and like me on facebook!

MY AMAZON

2013-01-09T00:31:00.000-05:00

I love Amazon, it has to be my go-to spot for anything before I buy anything anywhere. Check out some of the amazing deals that it offers!

http://astore.amazon.com/httpsidewalkc-20

Organizational Starters

2013-01-08T22:10:00.002-05:00

I have a few pictures of the things I've done to my new home to make it more convenient. There's not a lot of shelving in the house, so we've had to improvise to store our things. Also, more pictures coming, my camera's flash creates blurry images!

These two pictures aren't really "Before and Afters" because it doesn't show all of the books on the ground! I just switched the two locations so that the board games could be in the "playroom" instead of the dining room. So the books went on the built-in shelves, and board games on the bookshelf!

Every room in this house has wallpaper in it. I love the dining room and the playroom, hate the rest (no offense to the people living here before us, we love you guys!). So I wanted to see how hard it was to take up wallpaper so we can start painting, and I'll feel more comfortable/at home, in my own home. The hallway was too easy! I guess it wasn't glued down.. so I took it ALL off! Now we have another 4 months to wait until we can paint.. whoops!

The laundry room had no shelving.. #1 priority in my book for this house, and that's what we did! Laundry detergent now has a place to be!

There are no windows in the kitchen like I'm used to.. so instead of a window, I put a picture frame above the sink so it's a friendlier area.. Maybe have shelves coming in to this spot instead later in the year, for more storage space, but we'll see. For convenience with washcloths and drying rags, I hung our old key ring (which we exchanged for a newer one with a shelf, for hand sanitizer) right above the sink.

Part 1 of the "Entry way" organization... fail! First there was a bench seat to put the stuff in.. it didn't get used. Next, a tub, which I guess doesn't get used either (it's supposed to be for Jason's work stuff when he gets home so he can just take his work gloves, hats, etc off).. So, we bought a coat rack! Step 2.. instead of a tub which has drawers that need to be opened to put stuff in it, I'm going to bring down my baskets from upstairs. That way he can just throw his hats and gloves in the baskets!

See: Organization Part 2

Lastly, the walls in the playroom have very colorful wallpaper, but didn't feel like home. I don't have a good before picture for this room, but as you can see, we exchanged the bureau for the bookshelf with games. We also hung some pictures to make the room more comfortable, it's so much better, I feel like it's ours now!

Stay tuned for the better pictures of other updates we have done to our home, and what we plan to do in the next year still!

Please comment below for any organizational tips you may have in an older home with no bookcases, shelves, little wall space (lots of windows!) and little cupboard space in the kitchen!
Thanks!

Never Let Go

2013-01-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

This is amazing for people who are wondering what premature babies, especially micro-premies, like Adalyn go through or have the potential to go through
Here's a sneak-peek:
"The biggest fear was intraventricular hemorrhage: bleeding in the brain. Vessels could burst from the stress of delivery or a surge in blood pressure. Blood could clot, causing pressure to build. Brain tissue could die, destroying the capacity for movement, language, learning. A bad enough brain bleed would mean taking her off life support.
Her intestines were vulnerable to infection and rupture. In times of stress, the body diverts blood to the brain and heart first, the gut last. A lack of circulation could make her belly distend and turn black. Her intestines could die, poisoning her from the inside.
The ventilator kept her alive, but the pressure stretched her tiny air sacs, scarring her lungs. A surge in pressure — from aggressive resuscitation, for example — could burst the air sacs. Too much pressure in the blood vessels could fill the lungs with blood, drowning her.
Antibiotics to ward off infection could shut down the kidneys. Oxygen to keep her alive could make her blind. Narcotics to keep her comfortable could make her an addict."

http://www.tampabay.com/news/health/medicine/article1264963.ece

The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking: {Free Printable} Keeping Records for Entertaining

2013-01-06T23:35:00.001-05:00

THIS IS AN AMAZING IDEA! Store your family and friends' allergies, likes, dislikes, and what you have previously fed them so as to not serve them the same meal twice!

The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking: {Free Printable} Keeping Records for Entertaining:
There is a place to write each guest or family's name, their likes and dislikes, and allergies.

Also, I have an irrational fear of feeding people the same meal twice. So the printable has a place to record what meals you've served each family or guest.

She's Out!!

2013-01-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

2012- OUT OF THE HOSPITAL

This is Annabel! She is a month older than what Ady is SUPPOSED to be, but instead Adalyn is 2 months older than her!

Adalyn met her cousin (2nd) Jaidyn! Ady was not being cooperative at all, but I was actually able to match her outfit to Jaidyn's because I had the same onesie.. kids' worst nightmares when they're older, looking through albums, right!?

Adalyn met some of the pets when she came home from the hospital. Onyx was so jealous/loved Ady that she came over and laid right on her!

Emma unfortunately passed away about 2 hours after we arrived home. She had been sick with cancer for a few months, and was not able to even lift her head. My parents were nice enough to delay putting her down for a day so that she could meet Ady. Instead of bringing her to the vet though, Emma died at home surrounded by everybody

Chloe didn't know what to think!

Jason's Great-Aunt TT came to visit- I believe that she is around 88 years old?!?

One of the neighbors stopped by for a visit!!

We made it home, on discharge day October 10, and visited with family!

Grandparents can finally hold Adalyn!

2013-01-06T22:59:00.002-05:00

2012- VISITORS IN THE NICU/CCN

Loretta came to visit Adalyn! She brought along her two babies, Andreas and Aaliyah; I call them her adopted BFF's.. these little twins were born about 2 months early, a week before Ady was born!

Our friend, Paula, that we met at the Ronald McDonald House came to visit, and took lots of pictures of "Miss Ady"!

Paula's little girl, Kylie, went through a kidney transplant and has been receiving treatments ever since; they travel a couple of hours every week, and stay for a few days up to a week at a time!

For her 8th birthday, Kylie requested that everybody bring in donations for the kids at the RMH, and has started collecting soda can tabs. The Ronald McDonald House exchanges these tabs for money, which goes towards maintenance, so that families can continue to stay close to the hospital. What an amazing little girl!

September 13- Uncle Mat has been there since my first early delivery scare- today is the first time that he held his niece!

She looks so tiny in his arms!

September 12- Adalyn's Great-Grammie visits, from Florida!

In the CCN, Ady's Nana, Grampa, and Grammie can finally hold Adalyn!

In the NICU, my parents couldn't hold Adalyn.. they went through more than 2 months only being able to touch her hand

LIFE IN THE NICU/CCN

2013-01-06T22:57:00.001-05:00

2012- LIFE IN THE NICU/CCN

October 10- DISCHARGE DAY (Day 117) 9lbs 2oz

Pretty outfit for the special day

Clean hospital room.. you don't realize how much stuff you accumulate over 4 months, until you try to pack it all in boxes and bags!

Ready to go home!

One more size comparison before we leave the hospital... look how small that onesie looks now!!

October 9

Adalyn worked so hard since yesterday, it's nap time for her!
No more feeding tube, and tomorrow is discharge day!!

Goodnight!

October 7

Hanging out with mommy and daddy on the couch, she decided she didn't want to take a nap all day!

October 4

Belly time.. she decided she didn't want to work!

October 3

Preparing for possible discharge in the next week, Adalyn took her carseat test! I told the doctors that if she was ready to be discharged, and then failed her carseat test I wouldn't be able to handle it.. so please do it now!

I guess the carseat test bored her...

October 2

Adalyn had a brain MRI today. Because we are past her due date, and she still isn't happily eating from her bottles, the doctors want to rule out anything that might be wrong such as connections in the brain that aren't happening due to her being a 24/25 weeker.
The results were amazing; doctors actually stated that "Adalyn is the reason that we save 24 and 25 week old babies, for the chance of someone like her"! I knew that we were lucky with her, and her health, but I didn't know that she would be doing so well.. they would not have been able to tell that she was a premie from her brain scan, at all!

October 1

Miss Acrobatic was swinging her legs every which way while she was sleeping

September 29

"1 day old" after 105 days in the hospital!

September 26

She didn't want to be swaddled, apparently!

She tore that feeding tube right out of her nose.. she's done it before, but only a few inches.. this time she got it all the way out!

September 25

Hardest baby to keep in a swaddle!

Aw tired baby

Heart ultrasound for an update on her murmur

September 23

Lets go Patriots!

September 19

Princess Dress that Ady's Nana picked out

September 17

Green is not her color!

She started up where the hat is...

September 16

Happy 3 months! Only 12 more days until her "due date"

September 12

Ady's first time in a swing. Just like everything else, she seemed indifferent and just relaxed for the ride

September 11

Little angel face

Is this the same baby as above!? Chubby belly hanging out, and a little upset

September 9

Over 6 lbs while I was gone away to camp

She hangs out with us now that she's off of Oxygen

September 7

Her first day without Oxygen! (Again, but for good!)

September 5

She's definitely starting to get baby chunky!

Bath time!

August 28

Less than 2 months ago, the premie onesie with dog paw prints on it looked HUGE next to Adalyn; now it looks so tiny, and the Newborn onesie fits!

August 27

5 Pounds!!

Adalyn drying off after her first bath

Ady's first bath! She enjoys pushing her belly out, and she actually liked the bath

August 25

I wish I could be so comfy sleeping with my arms up like this!

August 24

Adalyn's first bottle! She ate it all!

Tired after her hard work, eating her bottle

Isn't she just so cute!

Little angel baby face

August 21

Another big day for the little girl, first day in a bassinet!!

A little scared of her surroundings without the walls of her isolette around her :(

August 19

Busy busy girl, we were transferred to the CCN!

August 18

Adalyn's last day in the NICU!

August 17

Big worried eyes??

August 16

Happy 2 months!

August 14

A few rare minutes with nothing on her face

August 10

August 9

Size Comparison: Newborn Onesie

That onesie that was way too big for her a month ago? It fits!!

August 6

Adalyn decided that her side was most comfortable today

August 3

She's finally 3 lbs!!

August 2

She looks so big with footie PJs on!

Little Clown PJs

Learning to hold her pacifier by herself, such a smart baby girl

July 29

So aware of everything that's going on

July 28

One of Jason's Aunts made Adalyn a duck hat, so we call this Ady's ducky day! Isn't she a cute duck?

July 27

Adalyn's First Onesie!!

July 25

Leg Stretches

July 22

"Vogue-ing" or Little Baby Stretches!?

July 21

Meditating??

July 20

Another funny position!

July 19

How cute is she today!

July 16

Happy 1 Month!!

July 15

Adalyn's 1st Piece of Clothing!

July 12

More funny positions

After almost 4 weeks, Adalyn reached, and passed, 2 lbs today!!

July 11

Her mouth has been open like this pretty much all day... weird baby!

Had to make a request to a nurse, more than once, for the first time. Usually they are so good at responding, but her feeding tube was crooked all day, and I believe the cause of her keeping her mouth open

Looked like her foot was swollen; after keeping an eye on it for the day, the swelling went down with no issues

July 10

Size comparisons: Premie Onesie

Size Comparisons: Water Bottle!

July 9

Oh the positions you find Ady sleeping in!

July 7

Adalyn is so expressive with her face already!

Happy Birthday Uncle Mat!

July 5

Ady was put back on oxygen after 10 hours of breathing on her own. But at least it's just "room air", and not CPAP!

July 3

At 17 days old, Adalyn was off of Oxygen/CPAP!

She stayed completely off Oxygen for 10 hours, breathing on her own!

June 30

So comfy

June 29

Climbing out of her "boundaries" again

June 27

The only way that we could comfort or have contact with Ady for a while. Because she was so early and little, we could only hold her once a day; however, she had glucose issues so there would be days to a week at a time when Adalyn wasn't getting held.

Peeking out at the noises she hears

June 26

A PIC Line was put in Adalyn's leg due to her IV's needing a more permanent solution, instead of switching lines every 3 days. Her arms and legs were running out of spots for the nurses to use, and it would take 3-4 tries to get an IV in successfully, after an hour of poking. My dad couldn't watch because Ady would be crying, at only a few days old.. The line was taken out less than 2 days later because Ady got an infection, and the doctors needed to rule out the PIC line as the source. After the infection cleared, they would need to put the PIC line back in. Luckily, when it cleared the next day, she no longer needed the IV fluids!

Adalyn was known as the Wiggle Worm of the unit, constantly climbing out of her bed!

June 23

Adalyn opened her eyes for the first time! She was trying so hard since we held her a few days before!

June 20

The first time, at 4 days old, that we could hold Ady! She was SO tiny, I was afraid to move

June 19

Adalyn grabbed my finger, and Jason got a great picture!

June 18

Adalyn was put under blue lights to prevent jaundice

Nurses need to have signs on doors telling parents what's going on with their babies! I thought something was wrong with her until they told me about jaundice.. (Nurses in the NICU are the greatest and become like family while you're there)

June 17

Adalyn was born on June 16, 2012 at 9:51pm

She weighed 1lb 13oz (and I learned later that they round up, so she was actually 1lb 12oz)

Ady was only 13 inches long, half of which was her long legs!

Pregnancy Pictures

The day after I found out I was pregnant, on February 2- I was wondering why I started to gain weight!

5 months pregnant!

She was all curled up right by my belly button, something she did often. Of course, I didn't know that she was a she yet!

24 weeks pregnant, on bed rest in the hospital- this was the biggest that I got, 15lbs heavier

The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking: 10 ways to NOT make your home a haven

2013-01-06T20:59:00.001-05:00

This is a great list!! I actually have found myself thinking these exact things, but just don't practice them. I need to start!

The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking: 10 ways to NOT make your home a haven: ha'ven noun. a place of shelter and safety; refuge; asylum. 1) Obsess over magazine covers. You probably feel that it's not good to...