Goths In Hot Weather ©

At Home with the Gothasons

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 14:14:00 +0000

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness:5
"Goodness dear, this garden's getting messy! Look at those Azalias, they're running wild."
"Like the torment in my soul, they grow through every space. Binding my waking thoughts with the dark matter of their misery, strangling the young shoots of my happiness in the tangleweed of despair. I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."
"Yes dear. Oooh, is that the kettle boiling?"

David HassleGoth

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 13:20:00 +0000

Thanks to Kathrin Hieronimus

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 4
An ordinary poolside scene; children playing, mothers chatting, old men hanging around in the bushes looking out of breath - but hang on, what the Dave Vanian is that? Goth ahoy!

Goths in the Grass

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:25:00 +0000

Thanks to Bex

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bex and her Zeitgeist Zero cohorts lay themselves prone beneath the Daystar in the pursuit of literary greatness. Witness their pasty white skin transforming before your eyes! Weep as their black attire clings with little sweaty beads to their sensitive souls. Sniff their sweaty boots and lay your head next to theirs as they attempt to create a Gothy FlashMob-Scrabble-Performance-Art interpretation - if we all lie together with these brave unfortunates, we will be seen from space, forming the phrase "Generation X". I am Gothymandias, Goth of Goths, Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Close-up: fit!

Bouncy Goth

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:56:00 +0000

Thanks to Olivia

Gothiness; 6 Sweatiness: 3

"Mummy, what's that weirdo doing on my trampoline?"

"Come away dear, that's just a Goth trying to find out what it's like for the rest of us."

"Mummy, can I write some poetry now?"

"Step away from the Goth, sweetie!"

The sincerest form of flattery

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 07:14:00 +0000

is plaigiarism, or so I'm told. Whatever. I'm liking your Goth angle, kid :) http://gothsuptrees.tumblr.com/

We Dictate Fashion

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 13:06:00 +0000

Thanks to Lester 'Molester' Jones, as ever.

Gothiness: off the scale Sweatiness: 8

At last it's happened my Darkling hoardes - the good people of i-D Magazine have been moved to create a Goth-based fashion shoot in honour of our work! We have dictated a new fashion! See here! http://i-donline.com/2011/10/goths-in-hot-weather/ Now, who's up for spending a week going around Hoxton or the East Village with a pogo stick and timing how long it takes for some media whore hipster nincompoop to buy one and sit in a cafe with it resting against his table while he cruises Facebook on his i-Pad 2?

P.S. What's slightly scary is that bus actually goes past my office whilst I write this tripe. How did they know?

Goth in the hole!

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:37:00 +0000

Thanks to Jonas Christ

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 8

Representing for Darklings everywhere, this brave soul tackles the undergrowth of Vanilla society like a hero of yore, attempting to get his balls as close to the hole as possible by stroking his stick correctly. I love innuendo, me. The more observant amongst you will notice our friend here has even gone to the length of finding a black golf ball to use. Good work, sir!

Grumpy Lace

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:28:00 +0000

Thanks to Sarah McDermott

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 4

Pasty-faced Sarah writes:"My dear Clergyman, I address you from the erstwhile Colonies, California to be precise, where hot weather is plentiful. Enclosed find photographs of your Humble Correspondent goth-ing as hard as ever I can."
Goth hard, girl. Goth hard. And make sure you look as miserable as possible.

Ring-a-ring-o'-Gothies

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:23:00 +0000

Thanks to Flipthc

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 7

Well, these aren't goths are they? Swimsuits? Shorts? Ok, so maybe there's a tattoo or two (say that quickly) on show, but really, they're not trying very hard are they? Wait. What's that? There, in the sand? Run! Run for your lives! Wicca Goths are upon us!

Goth Classification

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 09:23:00 +0000

Many of our beloved colonial cousins have asked "What is a Didi-Goth?" The excellent vampirefreaks.com has a run-down of the main Goth classes here, but they do seem to miss the definition of a Didi-Goth. I've found the original interpretation:

Didi-Goth /gɒθ/ [after Diddy]–noun
1. one of a Teutonic people who in the 3rd to 5th centuries invaded and settled in parts of the Roman Empire, but left after two weeks as their visa had expired.
2. a young or fledgling Goth, too depressed to consider him/herself part of the rest of school, but too happy to become full immersed in Goth culture. Writes particularly awful poetry, usually about how no-one understands them, or why the boy in Year 12 won't snog them.

Origin:
bef. 900; ME Gothe (after G. Chaucer): "There was a Wif of Bathe, she was-a gat toothed and prood, black did she wear, and depressive; yet Goth she was-a not, morever a Didi, owning nought but one Cure album, and that alone being a Greateste-Hits."
(Note: best read in Chaucerian English for full effect; if you are unfamiliar with the style then I commend Bill Bailey to you.

Mora's Beach Party

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 09:17:00 +0000

Gothiness: Off the scale Sweatiness: 7

All right, maybe more psychobilly / horror rock / something I'm too old to have heard of than Goth, but definitely trippy. And check out the wheels! Prizes for anyone who can tell me what the fuck the plot is about.

Goths! On a beach!

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 09:13:00 +0000

Thanks to Sharon Ortiz

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 3

OK firstly, this is half an hour long, so only watch the first minute, unless you're genuinely interested in it (I'm going to bet you get at least 8 minutes in). Secondly - Goths! On a beach! In Gothy swimwear! Cover yourself up darklings!

Now I know what the advertising copywriter for Yahoo! feels like.

Welcome to the jungle

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:18:00 +0000

Thanks to Star Kat (again)

Gothiness: 4 Sweatiness: 5

So Star Kat here is wearing shorts. So what? She's allowed to wear shorts when she's representing in the JUNGLE isn't she? Word to the motherfather, she is. She fancied a one to one with Predator just to see if he was as tough as they say, but it turns out he's gone so far downhill even Adrian Brody can take him now, and Adrian Brody's about as tough as my niece. Anyway, I digress, Star Kat is showing dedication to the Dark cause here, so I salute her. Unless this photo was taken in Kew Gardens, in which case she's a filthy cheat.

Dance, Gothy boy, dance!

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:16:00 +0000

Thanks to Star Kat

Sweatiness: 4 Gothiness: 6

All right, so they're only pretending to be goth. OR ARE THEY?

Grave Sweats

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 12:39:00 +0000

Thanks to Elzabi

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6

Elzabi writes "This photo may not look particularly sweaty, but a friend accidentally planned a goth-graveyard-picnic on the hottest day of last summer. I learned a valuable lesson that day which I would like to share with your readers: don't wear a corset in hot weather, breathing is necessary even if you think you're undead."

Bathing Beauties

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 11:20:00 +0000

BathingBeauties_01, originally uploaded by Ashbet.

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 3

Ashbet has come up trumps again with these two Dark Delights defying the Daystar for our benefit. I am, however, concerned for their flagrant disregard for local community legislation by choosing to bathe in what is clearly a municipal fountain. Hopefully they'll blind any passing community support police officers with the reflection from their pasty white skin.

Winona paddles in misery

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:04:00 +0000

goth in hot weather, originally uploaded by chelgreen.

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 5
Winona Ryder has been caught on camera again, this time giving us an insight into her preparations for her next role; that of a grumpy sodding gothette, tormented by her hatred of society and anachronistic existence, yet strangely drawn to her neighbour who's got a pool and can borrow the car anytime he likes. He's already offered to be the getaway driver next time she goes for a five finger discount.

Golden Hour Goths

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 06:21:00 +0000

Thanks to Dave LeClair

Gothiness: 10 Sweatiness: 8

Seattle; the epicentre of Goth. This gaggle of Darklings were spotted sneaking out just as the Daystar was on the wane, but not so late as to require the wearing of lace eyepatches (new fashion alert! Lace over the eyes is SO on trend darling!). I notice, too the copious wearing of black sports gear, cleverly subverting the accepted image of track stars and athletes and juxtaposing it with black lipstick and, erm, a drum cymbal. Not sure why she's holding that. Mind you, I was never very good with cymbalism... sorry. Satan Loves You? He's not the only one, baby!

hosting disaster

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:15:00 +0000

Hopefully you've found me back here - well done if you have! I seem to have lost my domain url thanks to Blogger's frankly useless hosting service that doesn't tell you it's time to renew, and then doesn't give you any way at all to pay for another year without having a godaddy account number, which was never given in the first place. Now it seems the domain has been bought by another gothlover (or cybersquatting corporate bastard, one of the two). Hopefully I'll have the old site back up soon, in the meantime if anyone knows how to rescue an expired blogger domain name, please let me know!

Over to you Cyril...

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 14:58:00 +0000

Thanks to Jim Lacey

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9

I'm indebted to a young man from Berlin who writes "Find attached a photo of a guy I saw on the Berlin subway today. It was 36C outside at the time. THIRTY SIX! His coat was ankle length, thick thick leather with thick thick lining. Plus boots. And sunglasses. He was looking very red and sweaty around the face (diminishing his goth credentials) I would've blacked out the dudes eyes to protect his identity, but he probably would've liked that." Congratulations Jim, you've made the hall of fame! I especially admire the finger over the lens, proving you surreptitiously took the shot with your phone. We can all learn a lesson from young Jim, friends - get that covert camera phone action going!

Gothalo spotted

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:10:00 +0000

Thanks to Ben Lavery

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 5

Yes it's true - London can have heatwaves too. And when the Daystar is shining, these black'clad darklings do nothing more than don a pair of fishnet gloves. Oh, the temptation of fate! That peddalo won't get you far from the ultraviolet, nor will the Serpentine's swans protect you with their oversized wings. Though come to think of it, that would make a pretty good Goth accessory - a trained Swan to follow you round and act as a gothasol. Any Swan Uppers around fancy taking up the challenge?

p.s. Yes I know it's a bit fuzzy, but frankly I've just applied for a job with Ben's company, so I'm doing all I can to gain favour in his camp :)

Beached Goths

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:54:00 +0000

Thanks to Paul Samolyk

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 9
Paul writes "both of these kids had black jeans on.... furthermore they both went swimming fully clothed and then one proceeded to lay directly on 150 degree sand while soaking wet." Well done you two! I thought for one moment that revealing your dodgy-tattoo-stringbean arms was taking too much of a risk, but you've managed to pull it back with the non-removable trouser incident. This is true dedication to the cause!

Weirs Science

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:11:00 +0000

Spotted by Kat, lifted from http://poorlydressed.com

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6
Um. Right. Here goes... Nope. no words. Just no words.

Gratuitous Hot Gothette

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:56:00 +0000

Merzbau, originally uploaded by nomad_fh.

To quote comic 'genius' Roy Chubby Brown; If this was my daughter I'd still be bathing her.

Goth family

noreply@blogger.com (TomLenham) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 13:58:00 +0000

, originally uploaded by keiforce.

"Yup" smiles young Hans as he poses with with his parents, "my folks are twats and I don't mind."