Selph Help

What is Self-Help???

2019-09-22T13:17:00.000-05:00

What is Self Help?

George Carlin on self help:

“I went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson, ‘where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

This type of reality shock may be a turning point where you discover that you have to depend on you.

The turning point for most of us comes when we realize we can improve our lot in life. The moment we accept that we are not controlled by outside events; rather, we are dominated by your own thoughts and actions.

It is at this point in time that most of us turn to some sort of self help.

Webster defines self help as the action or process of bettering oneself or overcoming one’s problems without the aid of others. Changing ones self.

The Four Types of Self Help.

Self help can be designated as one of four types:

1. The AHA or epiphany moment - where a person has a dramatic moment of absolute clarity and direction. Their life pivots and is never the same.

Like the moment when an alcoholic hits bottom.

It is the instant when a realization impacts your consciousness, and you know that life must change and only you can change it.

It can be a moment when the solution to a problem, you’ve been struggling with, becomes crystal clear. You know without a doubt how to deal with it.

2. One on one help comes when you feel you can no longer handle the situation alone, you can no longer keep everything inside.

You may seek counseling with a psychologist, therapist, or spiritual leader.

Perhaps you simply talk to a confidant such as your best friend.

3. Group interaction. Groups emphasize face to face interaction.

The act or state of solving one’s problems by joining or forming a group designed to help those suffering from a particular problem, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or other twelve step programs.

There are many help programs through community, churches, social groups; or paid groups such as those for weight loss and so forth.

Self help groups are voluntary. They are for the mutual aid and accomplishment of a special purpose. It is a group of peers coming together for common mutual assistance.

4. Individual self help can be accomplished by reading and reeducating your self. You gain clarity into a problem or situation and overcome it by yourself.

It usually involves reading and studying self help books and doing research.

Otherwise know as self improvement, self help refers to the acts of an individual to improve themselves with or without assistance from anyone else.

The term, self help, refers to any measure used to improve mental, physical, financial or spiritual conditions. By means of books or other reference materials.

It is the act of providing help for oneself without assistance from others.

Individual self help emphasizes change done by oneself, like coping with one’s personal or emotional problems without professional help.

I’ve personally participated in all four types. They are all beneficial.

I still attend meetings, conduct individual and group sessions and write self help Ebooks. Don’t limit yourself to any one.

Self help is the acquiring of information for the solving of one’s problems. Those of a psychological nature, without direct supervision of professionals or experts. Independent reading, joining lay groups pertaining to your problem.

Read a book, an article, or take a home study course that offers information or counseling intended to be personally beneficial or profitable IE: self help books.

The best way to bring about change and self improvement is to begin.

Albert Einstein said:

“Nothing happens until something moves.”

The healthy spirit of self help serves to raise people from despair.

It advances them in intelligence, virtue, and spiritual growth.

Four actions you need to take before you set out on the road to self help:

1. Forgive yourself

2. Forgive others

3. Accept yourself

4. Accept others

Samuel Smiles:

“The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual.”

Jim Rohn:

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plans. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

Whichever type or types of self help you choose it should:

Be beneficial not harmful

Improve your attitude

Positively change your behavior

Improve your environment

Educate your subconsciousness

Enlighten your consciousness

Include self forgiveness

Bring about self acceptance

Improve your self esteem

John Wooden:

“Remember this, the choices you make in life, make you”

Summary

Apply what you learn and make real the life you’ve always dreamed of living.

Too often we limit ourselves. How sad, when we could learn to live extraordinary lives.

We can be happier, healthier, and more prosperous. Find your source(s) of self help and go for it.

C.R. Law:

“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow.”

How to build Self-Esteem???

2012-07-07T14:02:00.000-05:00

Self Help - How To Build Self Esteem

What is Self Esteem

The term self esteem comes from the Greek which means "reverence for self." The "self" pertains to the values, beliefs and attitudes that we hold about ourselves while the "esteem" describes the value and worth that one gives oneself. Simply, self esteem is the acceptance of ourselves for who and what we are. However, different people has their own definition of what self esteem is. And they define it by declaring how they feel.

When you have a low self esteem, you see life negatively, thus, makes you feel depressed and hopeless. Everything you see and do seems to be difficult. On the other hand, when you have a high self-esteem, you see the world as a very good place. You are positive in every things you see and do, and you feel good about yourself as well to others.

What Causes Low Self Esteem

High self-esteem can be learned, as well as low self-esteem, but we do not want that to happen. The reason for low self-esteem can be physically. It is when you are too fat or too thin, and that makes you feel ugly. It can also be mentally, if you are too emotional, if you think you are stupid, you are not good enough, and you don't have enough knowledge. These are only few things that can cause low self-esteem to people.

Now that we know what causes low self esteem, we need to do something to change it in order to have high self-esteem.

How To Build Self Esteem

There are many ways you can do to develop your self esteem. Perhaps the very first thing to do is to list all your strengths and abilities. You do this to be reminded of all the things you have to do. The trick is to focus and magnify with all your strengths. You also don't need to think about your weaknesses, as you only want is positivity in life.

You also need to monitor your self talk. Your goal is to change your self talk to positive thoughts. A positive affirmation is a positive statement about yourself. Use them in a meditation technique. "I am strong", "I will make it", "I can", these are only few of the positive affirmation you have to think of. As always, you should never think of the negative things.

Self-nurturing is also critical to improving self-esteem. Start by looking after yourself physically, by eating well, staying/getting into shape and having all the sleep you need - not too much and not too little. Remember that you have to look good to feel good. This will add confidence in to yourself.

Finally, you can improve self esteem through reading books. Yes, reading self help books will really help a lot. You can learn different things. However, it is not very necessary to read books about self development and self esteem, you can read books that are motivational and inspiring in order to see positive things in life.

Please comment below or email me.

How to conquer your fears and win back your Ex???

2011-11-02T13:56:00.000-05:00

Relationship Self Help Advice - How to Conquer Your Fears and Win Back Your Ex

Using relationship self help is a great way to conquer your fears, and win back your ex. Helping yourself with relationship self help advice also puts you in control of your own situation...How? Keep on reading and find out how to win back your ex.

Relationship Self Help Advice - How To Win Back Your Ex - 1

You can use relationship self help to win back your ex, by using it to control your fear of losing your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. This is accomplished by using techniques to implant positive encouraging thoughts in your mind, to replace the negative one's. The sooner you can do this, the faster you'll be winning back your ex boyfriend/girlfriend, wife, or husband. You can use relationship self help together with relationship advice for quicker results.

The cheapest way of using relationship self help is affirmations. Like “I will get (exes name) love back” look into a mirror, and into your eyes and repeat this out loud for 5 minutes. Do this in the morning when you wake up, and in the evening before you go to sleep. If you're really serious about using relationship self help to win back your ex. You won't be afraid to use this technique.

Relationship Self Help Advice - How To Win Back Your Ex - 2

Another great way to implant good relationship advice into your mind using self help to win back you ex, is to use subliminal tapes, or CD's. All you do is follow the directions and listen to them overnight, or for at least one hour a day without interruptions. This will get you closer to winning back your ex than you know. They will replace the negative limiting thoughts with positive enabling thoughts, and your doubts and fears will soon melt away.

This method will work well together with a plan to get your ex girlfriend/boyfriend back, very well. Relationship self help doesn't have to be hard or scary. Using the right plan, and tools you can very easily win back your ex in 30-60 days. You will be at a great advantage over the people who refuse to use these self help techniques, because you will stay true to your plan to win back your ex. This is especially true when using the no contact rule. The biggest problem people have with the NC is controlling their emotions, and this with help you with that. If you're really serious about getting your ex back, then I suggest you use relationship self help, along with a good plan to win back your ex.

Relationship Self Help Advice - How To Win Back Your Ex - 3

All the relationship self help advice in the world will not help you if you do not take action. Remember, the sooner you take action, the sooner you'll win back your ex, and your pain will go away. Getting back your ex, or anything in life is not as hard as you may think right now. The biggest obstacle you have is yourself, and those damn limiting beliefs and fears. Take some action and use this relationship self help advice, and go win back your ex.

Most people can not do this all by themselves. That is why it is wise to find someone who will help you take on this battle. If you are emotionally unbalanced you need someone or something to keep you in balance...Right? You need a plan, a plan that works. If you're serious about winning back your ex you'll need help.

If you do not have a good plan I do, and it works. I'll be happy to help you, and to support you. Just contact me and start learning how to win back your ex. Do It Today! Learn from your mistakes before you make them, and survive this break up. What can I do to help you win back your ex? Write me and let me know...OK?

Please comment below or email me.

How to use Self-Help Forums.

2011-11-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

Self Help Forums Help You Grow Personally And Professionally

Self help forums offer one-on-one or group interaction with experienced people from all walks of life who can help you with advice and guidance in many different areas of life. By reaching out and discussing issues of your life with others, you can more easily find solutions and better alternatives to life's vexing problems along with useful suggestions from people who have been in similar situations. Online self help forums are often divided into sub-categories tailored to issues or areas of life; you then choose the appropriate section, join and discuss your problems with the members of the forum as well as offering your advice to others. Along with giving advice and help, belonging to a self help forum also provides its members with a deeper sense of community with a group of likeminded people.

Why Join Self Help Forums
Self help forums give you a chance to discuss your ideas, thoughts and situations with others who can give you feedback, suggestions and help with accountability in the setting and achieving of certain goals. With the help of others, you can gain a better understanding of your thoughts and actions from an objective perspective. The changes you need to make in the way you look at life become clearer as a result of your interactions in the forum. It is often said that no person achieves success alone; by joining self help forums, you will find the assistance from others that will help you become more successful in life.

Self Help Forums Offer Privacy
When you join a self help forum, it is not necessary that you disclose your complete identity. All self help forums are governed by rules and regulations that all the participants must agree to follow to participate on the forum, which includes not divulging confidences shared within the forum. By observing the common rules of courtesy and online etiquette, you will be welcome to take part in discussions you find in online self help forums.

ChangeByThePeople.com is an online success support networking forum where people from all over the world gather together and through their knowledge, different perspectives, degrees of maturity, diverse experiences and wisdom help each other to grow personally and professionally. The online self help forums at ChangeByThePeople.com are ideal for individuals searching for positive and healthy ways to accept change and find success in all aspects of their lives. ChangeByThePeople.com also sells CHANGE IS GOOD® TRADMARKED APPAREL including t-shirts, headwear and tote bags featuring positive and memorable messages. Please visit www.changebythepeople.com for more information and join the rapidly growing community of members today.

Please comment below or email me.

Women's issues and Self-Help.

2011-11-02T13:46:00.000-05:00

Women's Issues and Self Help

Self Help has come a long way in the past several decades. It used to be that "women's issues" weren't even thought of let alone specialized in Universities, counseling centers and books all over the world. In just a few short decades, self help for women has burgeoned into a major industry and a worldwide movement. Entire countries that used to promote traditional cultures where women were expected to be submissive to their husbands are now taking up new values and becoming part of a globalization of equality.

Women's issues were traditionally overlooked in the past largely because of the fact that the jobs were simply held by men and the economy and industry of publications and counseling were exclusively male driven. Today, things have changed and there is plenty of self help available for specific women's issues as well. Women have issues that they still face concerning self esteem, sexuality and even "the perfect body image" but they can now face these issues out in the open and learn to grow and change just like men are doing. As human beings, we all have issues to contend with and none of us are perfect. It is a great step that we can now recognize this together and learn to grow spiritually regardless of our genders.

Some of the women's issues which are constantly challenged by the media and by product advertising today concern objectification and marginalization. These are issues that concern women individually and often require a person who has already "been there" who can help. One great program which has pioneered the movement against the marginalization of women is the Oprah Winfrey Show. Setting herself apart from many other self help guru's, Oprah avoids much of the negative language aimed against men and instead focuses on the solutions that women can use to overcome in society. The Oprah Winfrey Show also raises awareness of many other issues outside of just women's self help and thereby makes itself accessible to an even wider audience. This places the struggle for women's self esteem and self empowerment into a larger context of world issues rather than cutting it off from its connection to all issues that face humanity. Greater self esteem for women means greater self esteem for everyone and the Oprah Winfrey Show has been a great benefit to humanity because of this fact.

Self help books for women are widespread but some of the earlier works are especially notable for those who wish to get a foundational understanding of the issues. Interestingly, Anna Freud, the daughter of Dr. Sigmund Freud actually contributed to the work of psychoanalysis in a very profound way when she wrote the famous work The Ego and Mechanisms of Defense. This is one of the classic works of psychoanalysis which actually brought together many of her father's ideas in a more succinct and clear fashion thus making them more easily identifiable for all people. Another great book which is part of the classic works on women's issues comes from Nancy Friday and is entitled My Mother Myself. Here, Nancy Friday investigates the core issues which involve women in relationship with their mother's and uncovers the common reasons for self esteem issues in women. She leads the reader to a deeper understanding of herself so that she may identify her issues more readily and find a way to move ahead in her life. Although a third book has been largely left behind in terms of the women's movement, Carol Gilligan's book In a Different Voice was a groundbreaking work decades ago in terms of the women's movement and is still offered in many University courses today.

Wherever you choose to start, there is a wellspring of information on women's self help today. Women have taken the lead in terms of personal growth in many areas and have caused men to stand up and take notice as they lead the way into a better future for all of us.

Please comment below or email me.

Self-Help: Subliminal Messaging- What is it???

2011-11-02T13:41:00.000-05:00

Self Help With Subliminal Messaging - Whats is it ?

Self Help With Subliminal Messaging

With the growth of the Internet increasingly more people are looking to self help products to help take control of their lives and develop themselves. The great thing about the Internet is that it is completely confidential. People can read up about and learn about their embarrassing issues which they perhaps would like to keep quiet from their friends. Confidentiality is important in self help, but now people are turning to a new approach to personal development which takes the principal of confidentiality even further - which is subliminal self help

This is because with subliminals they are completely confidential. Even if someone "caught" you listening there isn't any audible phrases so they would not know what album you were listening to. This has led to a lot of people playing the sounds while they work, while exercising, and while doing various responsibilities around the house.

How it works

Subliminal messaging is often described as a soft form of hypnosis. In terms of the end result - a positive outcome and a change within the mind - they both come to the same result. Just as hypnosis works by bypassing your conscious mind, so too do subliminal messages. The big variation being that rather than going into a trance for thirty minutes you play the subliminal album often in the background as you do other things.

You won't consciously hear anything, however the subliminal statements will still make their way into your subconscious mind, and as they build up there this leads to changes from the inside, which grow and grow to produce external lasting changes too.Some people do experience very quick changes, but generally over the space of a couple of months the improvements build up to generate a real change in your inner thought patterns, self beliefs, and also your physical behavior patterns.

Again, similarly to hypnosis a core area of subliminal messaging is for personal development and self help. They have had plenty of good results in areas such as positive attitude increasing self motivation, but as their usage has continued to grow so has the array of areas they cover, It is now possible to obtain albums on quite specific areas like albums to help you put a stop to self sabotage or even to help you to overcome your fear of failure.

Subliminal messaging is still not right for everyone, if you are looking for a short cut and don't want to do any of the work yourself then it probably isn't right for you. However, if you really do want to change it will basically help support you in your personal development goals and make you more likely to stick to them and make a change.

Have You Had Success With Subliminal Self Help?

The growing use of the internet and people's understanding of it has really improved the recognition of self help even more. The great thing about the Internet is that it is completely confidential. People can easily read up about and learn about their awkward problems which they probably wouldn't want to share with their friends. Discretion is essential in self help, but there is a new method of development which is taking this even further - which is self help subliminal messages.

This is because with subliminals they are completely confidential. Even if someone "caught" you listening there aren't any audible words and phrases so they wouldn't know what album you're listening to. This has led to a lot of people playing the albums while they work, while exercising, and although carrying out various tasks around the house.

How Subliminals Can Help

Subliminal audio is often described as a light form of hypnosis. At least the end result is similar. Just as hypnosis works by bypassing your conscious mind, so too do subliminal messages. The big difference being that rather than going into a trance like state for 25 minutes instead you listen to subliminal album pretty much passively as you carry on with other activities perhaps studying, or doing tasks around the house.

You won't consciously hear anything, however the subliminal statements will still make their way into your subconscious mind, and when they build up past a certain level they will really start to flood your mind and make changes to your patterns of thinking and beyond, which grow and grow to produce external lasting changes too. Some people do experience very quick changes, but generally over the space of a couple of months the improvements build up to generate a lasting change in your thoughts, beliefs, and your physical behavior.

Again, similarly to hypnosis a core area of subliminal messaging is for personal development and self help. Traditionally subliminals have been used with good success for areas such as developing self confidence and, but as their usage has grown so has the selection of areas they cover, it now being possible to find albums on some quite specific areas for example albums to help you stop your or even to help you to stop self pity,

Subliminal audio is still not right for everyone, it is not a miracle solution or an instant fix to all of your problems. However, if you are serious about wanting to make a change in your life then subliminal audio will give you a boost.

Can Subliminal Messaging Really Help Alleviate Panic Attacks and Anxiety?

Imagine a situation which tirggers or starts anxiety attacks - perhaps the thought of socializing with new people or being in a busy social environment. You will possess worry and anxiousness attached to just the idea of being in this situation, you will imagine yourself panicing, and vividly start to to picture yourself in this situation on the edge of a panic attack...

Nevertheless if you can imagine someone who doesn't endure anxiety attacks and actually likes these exact same type os social situations. Perhaps these people really like going out and socializing, they get pleasure from meeting new people, they see the challenge when under strain, and they enjoy being the centre of attention.

It is quite plain to see that these differences in mind-set towards the same kind of circumstances will have a very different end result in terms of your response i.e. if you will feel anxious and panic or enjoy the situation.

How Subliminal Messages Will Help

This is can help. They work to sculpt your subconscious mind to process information just like these people who have no such nervousness problems. Once you can stay positive, and share the same positive thought patterns as them then you also will be cured of your anxiety and panic attacks.

Subliminals are rising in recognition and getting used by more and more people every year, and this is basically down to these 2 reasons:

Subliminals do not need a hypnotic trance like state as hypnosis does. You can carry on doing other activities and listen to the album in the background and still receive the benefit.

You can play the album as and when you need to i.e. when you experience the first indications of panic and anxiety it is possible to play the mp3 and use it to calm yourself down straight away.

Over time, after using the album for a few weeks or so you ought to notice a genuine change in your general levels of anxiety and instances of panic attacks and feel a lot more confident, ultimately even treating your anxiety attacks absolutely - all from the inside out.

Begin today with subliminal messages with the anxiety subliminalmp3 or their best selling stop panic attacks subliminal audio album made by the leaders in subliminal audio.

Please comment below or email me.

A look at Self-Help Software.

2011-11-02T13:38:00.000-05:00

Self Help Software

Even for a veteran self helper, self help software is a curious and wonderful place to explore.

I wonder of Alice felt like this before heading down the rabbit hole?

There is just a huge amount of self-help software out there, which does offer some advantages, and has some disadvantages. Can I use it on my mobile, when I am away from my computer?

Self help by definition is about ending some problem physical, emotional, mental, or behavioral situation.

The one thing that I have never seen in any self help tome, manual, software package, workshop, or pamphlet is information about the rapidity and randomness that the problem has inside my body, more specifically inside my brain.

For example, as a recovering person, can you predict when an urge to use will happen? Of course not. If you are not prepared in that 1/18th second for the change in physiology, you may find yourself using before you know it.

As a domestic violence educator and a licensed one on one heart rate variability provider, with extensive personal and professional experience in the recovery field, I have helped train folks to deal with emotional management heart beat by heart beat using heart rate variability biofeedback, and brain wave by brain wave using EEG Biofeedback.

A heart may beat 60 times per minute, and beta brain waves may cycle 15 to 42 times per second, so self help software needs to be applicable to that rate of speed.

That means I need to be prepared to intervene in my head with my solution fast and frequently for self help software to work.

Mihalyi Csikszintmihalyi, Ph.D., in his book FLOW reports that we process seven bits of sensory data (vision, sound, pressure, smell, taste) every 1/18th second, which is twice as fast as I can blink my eyes.

So I can be doing my self help self talk, and be reminded of that car accident that happened 20 years ago at the intersection I am driving by, find myself in a fight or flight physiology because of the memory, and if I am not paying attention, I may carry that fight or flight home and do something very irrational.

So self help needs to fast and I need to be prepared to handle emergency reappearances of the problem physiology, thought, or behavior, and do it quickly.

That takes attention, and biofeedback is a great way to attend to my body.

I can recommend heart rate variability biofeedback for that. I have been using it and teaching it for nine years with great results because I have anxiety issues from witnessing violence as a kid, and heart rate variability biofeedback helps me calm fast, and actually I practice it when I am not anxious because I feel good when I practice it. Practicing heart rate variability biofeedback has allowed me to learn to recognize subtle changes in my body quickly.

Self Help and Self Talk

Tired of going over the same issues without resolution?

* Do your reactions get in the way of your happiness and success?

* Are you working on your goals without getting results?

Learn to be your own Thought Whisperer!

Like a "horse whisperer" or "dog whisperer" the key to resolving recurring issues is to Listen! You learn to listen to your "self talk," that inner dialogue that goes on in everyone's head. You identify the things you tell yourself over and over again and see how that self talk affects every aspect of your life. Some of that inner dialogue is very irrational and we pay attention to it like it was direct sense impressions.

Did you know that you could challenge irrational and limiting thoughts?

Unless you challenge irrational or limiting thoughts you are doomed to constantly face the same issues.

The key to your success in challenging your own thoughts is inward attention.

Sometimes it is a pain to acknowledge that I am the creator of all my own thoughts, which are based on my interpretation of physical sensations. Don't believe me? Ask yourself right now where you are experiencing vision, where you are reading this material.

Give yourself a hand if you said in your visual cortex which is in the back of your brain.

Minus five is you said on your computer monitor.

All sensory experience is processed internally. You can make the case that there is no external reality, since I process all of it happens inside my brain.

Therefore, you need to be prepared to manage your thinking and physiology constantly, because an automatic negative thought requiring the intervention of the thought whisperer will be required frequently.

Why not practice automatic positive thoughts regularly? One of the nice things about heart rate variability biofeedback is that I can practice it at will, whenever I want to feel good.

So has all this talk about brains made you wonder about self help software for your brain?

I hope so because there are some good programs available for increasing my awareness of my thoughts, even increasing my IQ.

Just remember, a high IQ without a high EQ, or emotional intelligence, is no guarentee of anything besides high IQ scores.

Please comment below or email me.

The role of the brain in Self-Help.

2011-11-02T13:31:00.000-05:00

The Role of Brain Fitness in Self Help Programs

Do a search on the internet for self help programs and prepare to be amazed. I am a self help guy from way back too, and I am amazed at all that is available for purchase.

You can find a self help site for anything, I think, which is a tribute to both American ingenuity and marketing.

We seem to be adept at finding a problem and creating a program to solve it.

The problem with some of our self help programs is that sometimes they are very light weight, implying that a solution is very easily achieved in the very short term.

When I think of self help, I think of Alcoholics Anonymous, or Narcotics Anonymous, or Cocaine Anonymous, or I think of the market for weight loss, or divorce or marriage or relationship aids, anger management, or an emerging market in regards to brain fitness.

All of those programs involve regular practice of certain behaviors, and there are three behaviors we humans can hope to manage or control, our thinking, our feelings, and our behaviors, or how our body moves.

If you have read Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi's book FLOW, which is treatise on the psychology of optimal performance, then you know that we process sound, visual, touch, smell, and taste information at the rate of seven bits of data every 1/18th second, so self help programs need to be learned and implemented in a very short period of time. (1/18th second is twice as fast as I can blink my eyes).

Self help then must be a process of awareness and management of sensory processing done very quickly and very frequently.

I liken the process for my anger management clients to steering a car, you make thousands of small adjustments to the position of the vehicle on the road, and are paying attention to hundreds of variables at a given moment, traffic in front, behind, traffic lights, children, the policeman six blocks ahead, ect. As you do this, you keep the vehicle going in the direction you want, at the speed you want, in a safe way for yourself and other drivers. You avoid potholes.

So the process of self help must be similar, and involves first your awareness and attention and perception which can only happen in your incredibly fast brain.

Can you imagine paying attention to your attention?

Put it another way, awareness gives me choice.

So self help programs at their most basic are going to give me the ability to choose a new thought, which will lead to a new feeling, which may motivate a different behavior, and this is all going to happen thousands of times per minute in my very fast brain, just like I make many small adjustments to the steering wheel of my vehicle.

Remember that neurons can only do a couple of things, move electrical energy and neurotransmitters, which leads to all my choices, including a very basic cognitive behavioral tool/rule.

Change the thought to change the feeling.

Any self help program is going to give me new thoughts to think about this certain issue.

I need to practice this thought to make them a habit, so the new habit is stonger than the neural habit previously established (think codependent behaviors, for example) and then the new thought can be recalled in an 1/18th second in an emergency, and by that I mean that I recall my new thought to replace my problem thought very fast.

So self help as I am describing it begins with an awareness of how your brain sustains memory, and calls it up. It is very similar to the process you use to steer your car. Certain thoughts are a habit.

Change the thought to change the feeling, and the problem behavior does manifest, because I have changed the thought before my body could move.

So How Do I Increase my Awareness of My Thoughts?

Let me recommend some self help tools which have been very useful to me.

What makes self help the most effective is not effortful striving, but relaxation, believe it or not.

Stress hormones like adrenaline or cortisol were designed to help me prepare my flight of fight physiology for that 1/18th second when I perceived danger (happens in the brain!) and needed to run for my life, fight for life, or freeze to keep my life. When that physiology comes on line, I have only those three behavioral options. And every time my problem thought emerges, since it is now part of a pattern I am trying to change, I will create stress, which makes it harder for self-help to manifest.

Very hard to brainstorm solutions from the stress physiology, so calming down is the way to create self help program mastery.

Deep breathing for a period of time is the best and cheapest self help tool available for us humans, and if you are like most adults, you will nod your head in agreement and continue to breathe very shallow in your chest, which generates that pesky stress physiology.

So try the a heart rate variability program to learn how to contact the self help brain in your heart. What you will do is the first right thing for any self help program to be effective, which is relax, and not just in the moment, but on demand. Heart rate variability biofeedback is learned because it is a biofeedback process, and after a bit of practice your body will learn to stay much closer to this new baseline. A coherent heart rate will open higher perceptual centers in your brain where you will continue to think the thoughts associated with your new self help program, whether it be AA or your favorite weight loss program.

The Best Brain for Self Help

I am not aware of any self help creators out there that are taking a close look at how brain fitness impacts self help success.

We can now do a great deal to make our brains fit and healthier, which is where self help happens.

Not too long ago, no one knew how plastic our brains were and are, how my neurons are connecting and establishing those new habits.

(Neuroplasticity happens in minutes, not hours, days, weeks, or months).

If you want an excellent resource for brain fitness, then read Brainfit for Life by Simon Evans,Ph.D. and Paul Burghardt,Ph.D. who are neuroscientists at the University of Michigan.

They provide a huge amount of easy to digest information about how to get your brain fit for self help.

They discuss the 'pillars of brain fitness', physical exercise, nutrition, (incluiding omega 3 fatty acids) sleep, stress management, and challenging learning experiences including using computerized brain fitness programs.

The other aspect of brain fitness for selp help is neurogenesis, or the daily growth of new neurons if I do not have toxins like stress hormones or ethyl alcohol in my brain too frequently.

Novel learning experiences enhance neurogenesis and neuroplasticity.

Very useful brain fitness programs which I have used? Programs involving research about the dual n back task, or Michael Merzenich's neuroplasticity research are excellent.

Self help programs have been a huge part of my life, and I continue to try them out when I am convinced that there is some research to back them up.

Please comment below or email me.