Ramonster, etc, etc.

haiku 4, 5

2012-04-05T22:28:00.003-05:00

4
emerging pattern:
sacred spiral, blasphamous.
circular lessons.

5
the sweet gift of breath,
the simple gift. much harder,
the task of watching.

haiku 2, 3

2012-04-03T22:14:00.003-05:00

2.
the air weighs heavy-
swollen, texture not unlike
a fevered exhale.

3.
loyal hound, trotting-
ignores recent canine foe
but longs to hunt squirrel.

Haiku 1

2012-04-01T21:46:00.002-05:00

because i seem to need monthly challenges in order to justify blog posts,

i'm joining Le Liz in this april haiku-a-day thang.

today was not my best parenting day. that is all i'll say about this haiku.

haiku 1

what we want for them-
by play-acting selflessness,
we deny ourselves.

days 27, 28, 29, 30

2012-01-20T20:06:00.003-06:00

day 27: the greenbelt.
if you've been there, you know, words can't describe it.
moments from home, and we're instantly transported.

day 28: this phase of family life.
i like to hold babies, snuggle babies, coo and kiss them.
but what i really can't get enough of right now?
being able to say "get yourselves dressed and let's go for a hike."
or "i'll be right back- ima run to the store real quick."
or "have fun at the park. be back in half an hour."
my smalls, toying with independance and standing in their boots, small and firm.

day 29: opportunity.
the challange of the change adverse is to
pluck opportunity out of the rind of inconvienience.

day 30: a new year.
ever a blank canvas, a clean slate.

days 24, 25, 26. my heart, walking around in three places.

2012-01-03T11:58:00.007-06:00

24, the small boy, the very small boy.

the bringer of light and laughter and loud bodily noises.

bringer of intestinal parasites and bring-outer of my most righteous mama-bear protective angst.

you make me feel like lenny i want to squeeze you so..... hard.....

you fit me perfectly.

25, the larger boy.

you, who is ever in the process of forcefully prying dogmatic conviction from the rock hard fist of my heart,

though i snap back sharply sometimes like a rubber band, holding my familiar shape-

you, ever attempting to replace belief with the agonizing fragility of trust.

we are intertangled- our roots bound in a complex, symbiotic, indivisible system.

tangled and tangling and scrapping through this incarnation, and it's pretty hilarious.

and sometimes infuriating-

but mostly unbelievably messy and perfect.

26, the girl, no longer small, not quite yet large;

you the most exacting of all teachers,

you who daily ask me to do the most basic, impossible, simple, unattainable task

in order to satisfy my most primal maternal drive.

That to give you the most basic nutrition you require-

I must perform the impossible feat, in as many ways as there are breaths in our bodies,

to tell you from the dark and scared parts of my heart-

"you are perfect."

and to believe it.

and to truly and deeply and honestly believe it,

to give you the world, to give you the world-

i have to look at myself and say the same.

days 21, 22, 23 los peeps.

2011-12-23T20:00:00.002-06:00

i have a funny relationship with The People.

i am both enamored with and terrified by most people.

not individually, really, because when i can connect with folks on a one-on-one basis, i can feel the sameness.

but groups, or strangers, tend to instantly transform me into a semi-panic stricken bumbling fah-REEK.

so mostly i just don't leave my house.

but i do love The People.

day 21 i dedicate to The Guides- the community members i look to when i need guidance or mentorship. folks who do business consciously and mindfully. folks who parent with trust and unconditional love. folks whose example i look to in this cobbled together village of mine.

day 22 i dedicate to, as anne-marie has so eloquently labeled them, the arg-bargers. the people who i struggle to thank the most. the peeps who i sometimes try too hard to understand when i should be just giving them more space. folks whose juxtaposition to myself serves to keep me eternally humble and awake to my own C to the R to the A to the Pee.

day 23 is today and is for my sweet soul sisters (and brothers). you all know who you are. some of you i see regularly, some i haven't seen in years. if you are out there and i haven't told you lately that i love you, i do. i'm not much of a hugger, and detest the phone, so sometimes i'm afraid that i might give off a scent that reeks of not really caring. i'd like to take this opportunity to state, for the record, that i actually care so much it freaks me out to the point of not wanting to leave my house for fear of doing or saying something that would make any one of you like me less. i care so much that i sometimes lie awake at night thinking about things going on in your lives that i know is causing you pain. i'm not saying that it's healthy. in fact, i know that being neurotic and angsty about relationships with Other Humans is a giant blinking neon sign that i'm a long-ass way from enlightenment. and yet, it's all true. and to those of you i love, i hope you know that this love-well runs deep. i hope i have, in someway, somehow, given you some insight into how awesome i think you are. you're awesome. and i've way mega totally got your back, dudes.

and also, sorry about that time i was so super weird. that just happens.

days 18, 19, 20. FEWD is GEWD

2011-12-23T19:35:00.003-06:00

so, it seems as though when The Beard is in The House, there is much less time for blogging, and much more time for catching up on episodes of parks and rec, downton abbey and 30 rock.

so.... we'll be working with themes to help catch up.....

I LOVE FOOD

day 18 i dedicate to the abundance of resources available to those of us trying to live FREE. (of gluten and dairy. which is kind of lame and is why i just like to declare that we are FREE. when you start inserting delicious food groups in front of the word 'free' it's just a downer.) but in this city, in this era, families like ours are plentiful and so are our food options.

day 19 i dedicate to tecolote farm, our beloved CSA farm, the bringers of delicious and abundant baskets of happy calories. katie and david work so hard to make their living, and what they offer is the most vital of all services. we are lucky enough to be a hub for our neighborhood basket drop-off, and there is absolutely nothing quite so abundant-feeling as a porch filled with baskets overflowing with obscene amounts of things green. it is a sight that can instantly bring me back into balance.

day 20 i dedicate to the search. meat or no meat? or some meat? local meat? grass fed? grains? yes or no? how much? organic? local? i feel like there is some equation for What Works, but i feel pretty sure that there are as many correct equations as there are humans on the face of the planet. but i'm grateful for the crazy privilege of being able to ask questions and test options.

day 17, sisterwife

2011-12-19T06:31:00.002-06:00

you know how some people, when you meet them, you just know this isn't the first time your lives have intersected?

some people feel so instantly comfortable, so well fit.

these people, after you meet them (again, in this lifetime) know exactly who you are.

and what you might need-

like a book handed over

like a message, exactly perfectly timed

like a bag of groceries so carefully chosen when the babies are sick

like a six pack of beer, left on the porch, when my refrigerator is empty and my husband is gone and my kids are in bed....

like a thousand nights of conversation- some in person, some virtual.

i'm so grateful for my friend Jote. i'm grateful for her amazing family, too, whom all feel so ancient and connected to me somehow.

for all this, and so much more.

and then somehow, in december, she also manages, through her grace and jote-ness, to spin a beautiful web of goodness by inspiring us all to say a simple daily thanks.

i love you, jote khalsa.

sisterwife, sister from anothah muthah, hobag, and super-duper heart of my heart.

days 15, 16: that's entertainment

2011-12-16T22:30:00.004-06:00

i've gotten way behind in my daily posting of the things of which swell up my gizzard with the good feelings.

but i'm so grateful for the reasons i've been remiss in my postings!

i've had this weird skinny hairy fellow who shows up every now and again around. he's gone again, but for a few days there i had this familiar stranger- who took us all to the movies, and who, after the kids went to bed, sat around and watched shows with me.

and it was really fun and i'm really glad. people make good things for watching. thanks, people!

best things we've watched:

15: THE MUPPET MOVIE- i don't want to ruin this movie for anyone by building it up too much.... BUT I THINK THIS IS THE BEST MOST AWESOME PERFECT MOVIE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MOVIES. our entire family was cra-king-up and bawling our heads off at the same time. ok, i lie. it was mostly just me doing the crying part. in fact i'm pretty sure it was definitely just me doing the crying part. but those other people who i cook for- THEY were cracking up and OH THE SONGS!! AND THE SINGING AND DANCING! OH! and the earnestness mixed with irony that knew right when to slip back into earnestness.... oh my.

16: DOWNTON ABBEY- i flip-flappin love this show, and thanks to cool breeze mchacker, we got us some new episodes with which to distract me from The Facebook and The Blogging. OH BATES! O'BRIAN, YOU CAD. blaaaah ha hahahahaha i love it.

days 12, 13, 14: the sane makers

2011-12-16T12:30:00.003-06:00

here's to the grand triumvirate of things that keep me sane*,

somewhat balanced**,

and keep me hovering in that ambiguous area of having taken off SOME but mos def not ALL of the "Baby Weight"***

*it's a relative term, i know. in this case used to describe the state of being wherein i can, at the end of the day, count the number of behaviors exhibited by myself i wish i'd exhibited differently- ON ONE HAND.

**also relative. an example befitting this usage of the word balanced here: some stuff gets done, some fun gets had, some sleep is slept.

*"Baby Weight": the gaining of which was perpetrated less by the biological manufacturing of The Baby, and more by The Stress-Eating (read:drinking) that came with my first several years of parenthood.

12: thank you running. thank you early morning runs and mid morning runs and sloppy rainy catch as catch can runs. thank you running partners who both distract and punctuate. thank you town lake trail. thank you folks who saunter three-abreast, creating annoying obstacles that serve as a reminder to never take running- or myself- too seriously. thank you UT track team in your wes anderson knee socks and headbands and dolphin shorts. thank you all the people who tell me running isn't very good for my knees but who understand that my mental health is more important than stiff joints. thank you.

13: thank you yoga. thank you yoga classes in yoga studios that feel like a true respite from everything grinding. thank you yoga classes on line that service my need for squeezing in a class in a teensy eensy time, or because i have no childcare options, or because my wallet is light. thank you yoga done off the top of my head when i have been sitting for two hours stitching and all of my muscles are beginning to atrophy. thank you for that indescribable, unbelievable feeling that comes when i get a few sun salutations under my belt. thank you for being the yin to my yang of running. i could go on but i will start to sound douchy. thank you.

14: thank you swimming. thank you town lake YMCA pool where there is no highly competitive triathlete swimmer swimming up my arse because the pool is full and I am so. very. slow. thank you water for your ability to both terrify and sedate me into breathing rhythmically and fully. one, two, three, breathe. one, two, three, breathe. thank you, swimming, for being there for me when it's too hot to run. thank you for not holding it agin' me when i leave you for months on end because the weather is so amazingly beautiful and the trail is littered with gold and rusty colored leaves and you can see things that are normally hidden by foliage. thank you.

day 11, jay-oh-bee

2011-12-12T21:43:00.005-06:00

even though sometimes i feel like i need desperately to stop doing All Of The Things,

(and not "do all the things' in a good, accomplished kind of way- more in a spastic schizophrenic desperate kind of way,)

and pick One Thing,

and do that One Thing and only that One Thing-

in order to Develop Discipline and Build A Career that is Easily Definable.

but sometimes i actually get asked to do something for someone that isn't that One Thing.

and it's So Damn Fun and makes me So Damn Happy.

thanks to you guys that think up a thing and think i might be the gal to help bring your ideas into fruition.

what ever That Thing might be.

(in this case it's a family portrait christmas card for one of my favorite austin families- THANK YOU MOIRA! still crossing my fingers arlo and sister rekindle their epic flame and someday we'll be in laws....)

day 10, the source of all things

2011-12-11T21:41:00.004-06:00

my sister and i laugh at our parallel lives sometimes-

we both have spouses who are on the road a good percentage of the time, and we both find ourselves in the position of having to run a household for days, weeks, sometimes months, on our own. (we've been over this, i know.)

it feels natural to both of us, somehow, that this would end up being the case.

it was, so you see, how we were raised.

my dad didn't leave on work trips for weeks on end like the menfolk my sister and i both chose...

but he took leave of us, mentally at least, about 20 years before he took leave of us physically.

everything was left up to mom.

running the house, keeping us sane, paying the bills...

never mind the full time job of care-taking the one person on earth you had fully expected would take care of you.

mom often talks about wishing dad was around to take care of stuff. (which makes debbie and i laugh, because for most of our lives she, uncomplainingly, ALWAYS took care of EVERYTHING.)

for her sake, i wish that she had him to take care of stuff.

for all of our sakes, i wish we all had him to take care of stuff.

but we don't, and that is what it is.

but what do we have?

what we DO have is

we have mom. the rock of Gibraltar.

who, though she didn't ask for it and no one would wish it on her,

brought up two girls while flying solo.

who, though we, her girls, might not ask for it,

we run a mighty tight ship, flying solo.

we sew a straight seam, literally and figuratively,

we relish back-breaking labor and steep rocky mountain trails.

we lebeck girls,

who love when the menfolk can join in,

but we sure as hell aren't waiting around for them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mom.

deep gratitude for passing along her fierce independence.

though it felt forced on you, mommy, i kind of think it's deeper in your bones than you'll ever realize.

days 7, 8, 9: simple things

2011-12-09T22:11:00.004-06:00

day 7: the downtown Y.

i just love it there. have you been? you should go.

i think that everybody who is there is genuinely really happy to be there. everybody.

i love that i feel so privileged to be able to go there when it's freezing, (or more often) blazingly hot-

and when i'm there, it's tough to feel like your slogging your way through an hour on the treadmill when very nearby there is a team of three helping a less able-bodied person to just make it through a few exercises.

and sharing the locker room with folks from every walk of life is always a mind-expanding, heart-expanding experience.

and everybody really just seems so glad to have this place to move, and be.

day 8: this one book.

Ahab's Wife.

suggested by friends, who at the time had no idea they were suggesting i pick up a book about a woman who sews.

who sews and who's husband goes away for months, years on end while she sews.

but all that aside, this was just one of those books that i still feel i'm mourning the loss of.

i love reading a book where by page 5 you realize it's already made it to your life-long all time top 10 book list.

day 9: yahtzee.

The Beard has a longstanding history with this game.

he and i used to sit and play for hours in college. that and pass the pigs.

and he's continued throughout his life, as his meditation,

to sit and play yahtzee, endlessly.

after coming home from this last trip, he decided to teach the boy.

to say that it seems the game is in the blood is almost an understatement.

i'll say this, however, and i think you'll get the gist:

the boy hasn't asked to play Wii since he learned to play yahtzee.

i know.

day six: J Hen and J Den

2011-12-06T20:10:00.003-06:00

i know we went over this last year, but

c'mon

if this doesn't molecularly shift your entire biochemical being, butterfly-like, into an explosion of all things good and right, then either

YOUR HEART IS SHRIVELED AND DRY AND NOT UNLIKE A WALNUT

OR

you didn't grow up in the 70's.

in my house.

anyway.

it's hard for me to come up with anything that can so instantly make me feel so remarkably child-like and peaceful.

thanks, J Den and J Hen. hope you guys are totally being awesome in the etherworld.

of course you are.

day five: the game

2011-12-05T19:58:00.003-06:00

it's just a game.

unless it's a lineage.*

and a lifeline.**

*in the bloodline. i've mentioned matt's grandpa played ball on the san francisco seals with joe dimaggio, yes? yes. and my grandpa coached the high school team. not as glamorous, perhaps. but he does have part of the Pacific Grove recreation department named after him. that ain't nuthin.

**fall is when the games get good and usually when the beard (not brian wilson) hits the road. i've texted through more baseball games with matt and jote than i can count. play by play, like they're both here with me. baseball eases the transition from four to three.

thanks baseball. and thank you for getting over that home run records breaking all the time phase you had. that wasn't pretty.

day four: four.

2011-12-04T21:01:00.004-06:00

and then there were four.

thankful for safe journeys and homebound planes.

and days and days and days before goodbyes.

day three: utha mutha's. and fatha's.

2011-12-03T23:34:00.002-06:00

today i'm grateful for the people who move in and out of my home as though it is their own almost-

who hold my children as though they are their own almost-

who's children are like siblings to my own almost-

different than just being my friends, though they are that too,

different than being family, though they feel as familiar.

they are my partner parents. my sisterwives and rent-a-dads.

you all know who you are, but tonight i'd like to give a shout out to cool breeze shawtay hide ya keeds angry gorilla and AMH.

rock steady, yo. fist bump and my deepest thanks.

day two: i can tell everybody, this is my song.

2011-12-02T19:49:00.001-06:00

i learned all kinds of iMovie skillz during ye olde kickstarter days of yore.

haven't flexed that muscle in awhile and kind of missed it.

plus, i really didn't want to watch the smurf movie with arlo.

30 days grateful, day 1: deb.

2011-12-01T21:52:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday to my big sis, Debbie.

appropriate that day one of the 30 days project should begin each year with her.

if you've ever wished you had a big sister for all those big sisterish reasons, then debbie is the one you should long for.

plus she's like backcountry version of martha stewart. she can make everything martha can make, plus she can dehydrate it for backpacking trips.

she makes me feel like even if the world goes to hell, i've always got her, the kids have their cousins, and together we can little house the s**t out of armageddon.

Spring Semester Garment Intensive

2011-11-29T14:26:00.004-06:00

dying knit fabric with turmeric

dyed fabric stitched up into a hoodie

lucy's custom fit shorts pattern all sewn up!

hey all-

just putting the word out that i'm opening enrollment for next semesters Garment Intensive for Homeschoolers class.

This semester has been really fun!

here's the dealio:

intermediate garment sewing intensive for 12-18 yr olds

taught by kathie sever, ramonsterwear.com
taught at kathie’s home studio, near barton springs pool in south austin

Jan 16- May 28
mondays 9:30am till 12:30pm*

*i’m willing to move the class to a different day if i can find 4 students who need that.

class dates:
Feb 6, 13, 20, 27
March 5, 19, 26
April 2, 9, 16, 23, 30
May 7, 14, 21, 28

semester tuition: $640**

*this does not include materials. i’ll let you know what you need, you’ll need to get it on your own and be able to bring it to class on appointed class days.

min/max 4 students

what we’ll cover:

*working with commercial patterns
*tailoring patterns to fit
*fabric manipulations (block printing, freezer paper stencils, dying, embroidery, trims)
*working with both woven and knit fabrics
*up-cycling and repurposing used materials

i will be encouraging students to place an emphasis on creatively and mindfully sourcing materials. we’ll talk about the use of gently used fabrics versus when it’s more appropriate to find well made, sustainable materials.

the class will be working from a set of commercial patterns that i will be choosing, in order to try keep everyone on basically the same page in terms of what methods and skills we’ll be covering, and when. the patterns will be chosen in order to cover a wide base of garment making skills, but all will be open to the students interpretation and manipulation.

this class will be taught as a semester-long series, so i ask that you keep this in mind when signing up an interested student. i will refund tuition within the first two weeks as long as we have a replacement student willing to start late.

payment options: i can accept payment either monthly, or with a 10% discount if tuition is paid EITHER in full by our first class meeting, OR in two installments, one due on the first day of class and the second due by April 9th.

i ask that interested students have a basic understanding of machine sewing.

please email me at ramonsterwear@gmail.com if you're interested.

tiny mentors

2011-11-16T21:47:00.003-06:00

the phrase "your children are your most powerful teachers" remained cliche and tedious to me for years after having kids.

it's different now.

these scrappy, angsty, perfect urchins are the most agonizingly revealing, raw-making, inspiring gurus.

and they stick around and force you to pay attention by ripping your heart out and inspecting it for flaws.

ringin' the school bell orr here.

2011-08-22T12:40:00.003-05:00

so, it's been quite awhile since i've offered any garment based classes, or any classes really at all.

i'll tell you why.

some things about my last classes weren't quite working for me...

there were too many students, or too much chaos. the timing was hard with my kids and family life. i was feeling drained, rather than fed. so i took a break from teaching.

but it seems as though i've had enough time to reflect on what wasn't working for me. i've been able to mentally tackle how to flip these issues around so as to be able to confidently invite students back into my studio again.

here's my plan.

i'm limiting class size to 4 students, max. i'm also only offering a class if 4 students are interested.

the first is to keep things intimate and manageable. machine sewing classes are often a lot of trouble shooting. more than 4 machines all going at once can turn into me just running from machine to machine un-jamming bobbins, finding replacement needles, etc. the second is personal and financial. in order to make it feel worth it to turn over my shop to a student lab one day a week, it takes a fair amount of prep and clean up. i've realized that it needs to feel worth all my extra time that this takes or else i end up feeling rushed and frazzled.

i'm offering a longer-term class, for older students. and determining ahead of time what we'll be working on.

the first is because i'm interested in really working with students that have a deeper interest in the minutia of garment making. sometimes the disposable-ness feeling of shorter term craft projects can leave me feeling hollow. both as a maker and a teacher. sometimes those projects are perfect! but to base a curriculum around them, for me, wasn't filling me up. the second is because as much as i'm eager to let the students let their creativity run wild- i'm more eager to be able to transmit some solid foundational knowledge of garment construction. so, to everything, turn turn turn. there will be a time for playing with materials autonomously, but there will also be a time for working together as a class on the same things, at the same times.

the class is for 12-18 yr olds, and is offered from 9:30 till 12:30.

so yes, this is a class for home schoolers, un-schoolers and alternative schoolers. as much as i'd love to be able to offer this class to a wider variety of school aged kids, right now i'm realizing that as a mother of two who is more often than not single parenting, offering after-school hours classes creates some significant disharmony in the home. so that's that.

okay! that's that. so here's the scoop!!!

intermediate garment sewing intensive for 12-18 yr olds

taught by kathie sever, ramonsterwear.com
taught at kathie’s home studio, near barton springs pool in south austin

sept 5- dec 12
mondays 9:30am till 12:30pm*

*i’m willing to move the class to a different day if i can find 4 students who need that.

class dates:
sept 5,12,19,26
oct 3,10,17,24 (skipping halloween)
nov 7, 14, 21, 28
dec 5, 12,

sept/oct/nov $160 per month
dec $80

semester tuition: $560**

*this does not include materials. i’ll let you know what you need, you’ll need to get it on your own and be able to bring it to class on appointed class days.

min/max 4 students

what we’ll cover:

*working with commercial patterns
*tailoring patterns to fit
*fabric manipulations (block printing, freezer paper stencils, dying, embroidery, trims)
*working with both woven and knit fabrics
*up-cycling and repurposing used materials

i will be encouraging students to place an emphasis on creatively and mindfully sourcing materials. we’ll talk about the use of gently used fabrics versus when it’s more appropriate to find well made, sustainable materials.

the class will be working from a set of commercial patterns that i will be choosing, in order to try keep everyone on basically the same page in terms of what methods and skills we’ll be covering, and when. the patterns will be chosen in order to cover a wide base of garment making skills, but all will be open to the students interpretation and manipulation.

this class will be taught as a semester-long series, so i ask that you keep this in mind when signing up an interested student. i will refund tuition within the first two weeks as long as we have a replacement student willing to start late.

payment options: i can accept payment either monthly, or with a 10% discount if tuition is paid in full by our first class meeting.

i ask that interested students have a basic understanding of machine sewing.

please email me at ramonsterwear@gmail.com if you're interested.

survey says:

2011-08-21T20:24:00.003-05:00

**insert comment here about how i don't blog with any frequency as if there is a loyal readership to disappoint**

it's Sunday night, last evening of the summer. (although i guess technically it's a school night, which doesn't feel so summery.)

and although over here at ramonster world headquarters things are a little wonky- the kids have been fighting off a truly epic stomach bug and one of them won't be heading off to school in the morning with his sister- it's time to start thinking about sinking back into ye olde school time routines.

i've always felt pretty adept at intuiting boundaries- finding and being able to vocalize the limits and allowances that keep things feeling balanced around here- but there is a persistent issue in our house that challenges my maternal confidence.

i've whipped out my tool box and tried them all, but this issue is a bugger. so i'm asking for your advice.

or at least your commiseration.

the issue at hand?

screen time.

normally, i, not unlike Aristotle, strive for moderation in all things. so, although i tire of being asked for another episode of the cosby show on netflix, i'm not quite ready to throw the TV out, and i like to have my laptop around, too. and i'm sure the kids pick up on this. moderation.

i try to serve food that is healthy, but i like to bust out the m&m's after dinner sometimes, if you get my gist.

but the screen thing? i've got one kid who could care less if we even owned a TV or computer. but i've got this other kid, who shall remain nameless, who, no matter what parameters i set, can seemingly never. get. enough.

what i've tried:

no screen time during the school week, then a couple movies on the weekends.

not enough.

30 min, three times a week, plus a movie or two on the weekends.

not enough.

over the summer i've started allowing a little bit most days. mostly because it's so damn hot and i don't have a lot to offer in the way of outdoor activities.

not. enough.

but it's too much for me. i feel like i've compromised more than i'm comfortable with.

but i'm also uncomfortable being in the position to keep reiterating all the reasons why we're not turning on the TV or why it's not time for the Wii to come on over and over. i feel uncertain which is worse: the screen time, or the amount of (what often feels like negative) energy that goes into holding boundaries around screen time.

i'm almost ready to throw it all to the curb. but even that feels like compromise i'm not comfortable with.

so here are my questions for you:

do you have boundaries around screens?

if so, what are they?

does it work for everybody?

how old are your kids?

okay i think that's it.

i'm so curious as to ways that others have tackled this issue.

armageddon, 2.0

2011-05-19T20:50:00.003-05:00

it's embarrassing to admit, but i've never been able to comfortably blow off a good, old-fashioned, Armageddon scare.

ever since i can remember, and quite possibly before, i've had apocalyptic nightmares.

i grew up in earthquake territory, just a few blocks from the beach.

It was a rare day when the gnawing vision of a giant wave rushing towards myself and my family failed to screen it's unwelcome footage onto my otherwise lackadaisical head space.

each predication of end times, of societal collapse, of 'The Big One'.... not one got by my notice, and not one elicited anything less than the type of terror one reserves for the Apocalypse, i suppose.

i remember sitting on my bed when i was maybe 8, sobbing at the thought of the fear and loss that awaited me, certain it was days away. hours away. moments away.

i'd feel momentarily light when the clock ticked past the appointed moment, only to find myself focusing my attention on the next threat to my perceived security. rinse, repeat. rinse, repeat.

here we are again, counting down the days. most of us light-heartedly poking fun at the seeming ridiculousness of yet another example of spirituality, bastardized.

and i'm older, and in some ways wiser, i guess. this ain't my first rodeo of doom.

yet i'm still uncomfortable with it all. still unable to joke about this newly appointed day of reckoning.

still find myself staring out the window, while cooking dinner, letting things burn.

this time, however, it's not the uncontrollable will-of-an-angry-god or Nostradamus-said that gives me pause.

it's the discomfort of facing a very personal Armageddon.

a daily, mundane end-of-times.

i've come to accept that the Apocalypse, for me, and i think for us, might not come on saturday, it might not come on the winter solstice 2012, but it comes, with or without asking our perceived permission.

it is the voice that whispers fear when we first hear it,

then speaks anger when we are sophomoric,

then begins a thrumming yell when we ignore it, and insists that we remain fearful, angry;

uncomfortable,

until we shake it up

flood it out

and die to it all.

rinse, repeat.

and i think my deepest fear of all?

is that the longer we ignore it, the louder it gets.

on the origins of mothers day....

2011-05-07T11:36:00.002-05:00

this was written in response to the civil war, a call to bring together mothers of soldiers north and south.

the catalyst of a mothers heart, broken.

broken open.

"arise, then, women of this day!
arise, all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be of water or of tears!"

MOTHERS DAY PROCLAMATION (written in 1870 by Julia Ward Howe)

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.