Journey of wanderer

Stories Untold

2021-06-18T21:03:00.000+05:30

(A page from my childhood diary.. Wrote these when I was 13..)

Stories untold

come out of the heart

and themselves unfold.

Some new, some old

Some coward, some bold.

some silver, some gold;

the stories untold.

The stories are many,

when heard, wont cost a penny.

The listener's arent many, thats why,

they are the stories untold.

Untold stories, that

dont bring glories,

but still lessen

the burden of heart.

When heard by someone,

who understands them,

they hit the dart.

They are stories untold

unsung and old

waiting to unfold,

the stories untold.

-Esha W

Mother's Day

2021-06-18T20:52:00.003+05:30

Two different people we may be,

But truth is, I am part of thee

I might never explicitly say

when on your lap, I lay,

just read my eyes and take the clue..

I love you maa, i love you..

-Mother's day

Esha W.

An Ode to my mother

2021-06-18T20:33:00.000+05:30

What shall I gift thou

O mother mine

All things possessed by me

art thine, O dear divine..

Like umbrella in the rain,

thou soothed my pain;

Nutured me in thy cocoon,

my life to me is thy boon..

What shall I gift thou..

Thou held my hand

on my feet, made me stand

Showed me the light of the day..

Thou pumped my enthusiasm,

undamped my dampened spirits.

Tell me, my guardian angel,

how can I thy pay??

Thou stood by me

during trials & tribulations

helped me out of out of

the dillematic situations

Thou art O mother mine,

a gist of Lord's best creation..

What shall I gift thou?

Daughter, sister, wife, homemaker

are some of various roles for thou unfurled.

But me thinks the hand that rocks the cradle,

Rules the whole wide world!

What shall I gift thou?

-Esha Wali

The Checklist

2014-04-10T23:04:00.000+05:30

Shoes - check
Nails - check
Hair - check
Clothes - check
Bag - check
My office Laptop - check
Mobile phone - check
headphones - check

Time: 11:45 - check

Mumbling these things in mind, i get ready to leave my home from office. With ritual of customary kiss on let cheek by mom (it makes day go well - supersition), I leave my home, right foot out first n day begins!

Its been years since I developed the habit of making checklists. Some are on paper while some run through my head daily just like the debugger in my application ;) . Its in my blood or maybe DNA. Women love to be perfect, thus keep minutetest things go in the checklist so that nothing goes haywire. Learnt this habit from my maa, who ensures to have a list ticked before packing bags or going for shopping. if its there, its to do else if its not, add it :D.

A few weeks back, someone pointed to me that I live life by checklist, Engg -Check, good job- check. The point that was raised was that I dont live life on my own terms or do the things i really wanted or go out of way to do it without realising that a checklist was getting creating in background of things I dont do! Irony!!

Sounds of the night

2014-03-31T00:19:00.000+05:30

* Based on a true story.

After a refreshing long sleep in the afternoon, i am left with no sleep in the night. I try to count sheep 1,2,3,4,5.... when i hear slow muffled sound chuck-chuck-chuck.. Its the wall clock. In the solace of quiet night, clock makes itself heard. I concentrate, trying to ignore the sound when i hear a pattern chuck tick-chuck tick-chuck tick .. Its the other wall clock, trying to rhyme with the first one, relentlessly ticking away while the world is sleeping.
I am disturbed, so i wake up and remove both the clocks and keep them in some distant room. Peace at last, i feel, when someone else in the room, tries to makes its presence felt. tik tik tik tik- tiki tik - tik tik- tiki tik- tik tik.. The ceiling fan, which unstoppingly keeps rotating tries to make me aware of its presence.
I turn off the fan.. Total silence, I feel when the gushing wind goes boom boom boom thru the window.

I keep the pillow on my ear, and place my head over my arm and try to sleep. Pin drop silence. Dhakdhak - dhak dhak- dhak dhak, there goes my pulse rate. Its the only sound of the world now, that i cant stop and I vow, never to sleep long in afternoon again.

Chocolate Sponge Cake in Microwave

2013-04-28T00:41:00.004+05:30

After numerous trials and errors, I am finally able to make moist and soft sponge cake in microwave oven. Sharing my recipe:

Take a bowl and add 2 tablespoon desi ghee and quarter cup sugar. Mix thoroughly till sugar dissolves completely in the ghee. You may use powdered sugar as well. Add one egg to the mixture and beat the mixture till you get good froth.

Now in another container, take a cup of all purpose flour (maida) and add half tea spoon of baking soda, half tea spoon baking powder and half tea spoon of salt. and mix this dry mixture.

Now add this dry mixture little by little to the first bowl and keep folding in. Stir the mixture well till the mixture is smooth and homogeneous with no lumps.

Now add 2 tablespoons of milk to the batter and mix again.

The cake batter is ready. At this stage, you may add 2 tea spoons of cocoa powder or few drops of vanilla essence or any flavouring of your choice. You may also add none of these and keep the batter as is for a plain cake.

Keep the batter in fridge for 30 mins.

Now take another microwave safe container preferably ceramic or glass and grease with oil. Dust it with dry flour. Now microwave the empty container till flour is little brownish.

Now remove the batter from fridge and pour it in this microwave container. Now put the container in microwave on lowest power setting for 5 minutes. (I generally keep on 30% power). Poke with a toothpick, if it comes out clean your cake is ready and risen :) Else, keep it for more 2 mins and do the toothpick test again. Do not overheat, as the cake will keep cooking even after taking out of the microwave.

I generally use nutella as icing. And your delicious cake is ready!!!

Anger Management

2013-03-16T22:58:00.001+05:30

You are driving your car, suddenly the car ahead of you applies break. You as well apply the sudden break and yell at the moron driver ahead of you.

You are working on something very very important. You are concentrating extremely hard. Suddenly your child comes and asks a silly doubt. You get irritated due to disturbance and ask him/her to leave.

You and your best friend just have had an argument, where your friend taunts you on a secret that only you shared with him/her. You reply back with nasty comments.

Sounds familiar? What was going through your mind in all three situations? Anger? Pain ? or Fear?

While most of us would say Anger, but the correct answer is Fear. Yes the very Fear. Most of the emotions have their origin in fear. The exam bell is about to ring, and you havent yet finished your exam paper, you sweat and panic. Basically you fear, you will leave something incomplete and thus have bad consequences. Its fear of insecurity, incompletion. You are driving your car and the driver ahead stops suddenly, you fear accident and get angry. You yell at driver.

Your kid interrupts you, you fear loss of concentration. You fear, you might again have to work hard, and get that level of concentration, you fear losing time, you get irritated.

While arguing with your friend, your friend spills out your secret. He/she hits exactly at the spot where your fear of insecurity or your fear of mistrust resides and you retaliate by doing the same back ie pass nasty comments back to hurt them exactly where u have been hurt.

Anger is nothing but voilent manifestation of fear. Fear not necessarily mean the feeling that makes you shiver or tremble or sweat. Shouting, yelling, aggression, getting voilent are all different forms of experiencing fear. A person with short temper is none but the one who gets pangs of fear at short intervals. He/ she is the most scared or fearful person.

So how does one control temper and manage anger? Well for starters, note the incidents that make you angry. What are they, why did you get angry? Wasnt it your fear? Your fear of losing someone, losing something, fear that some of things wont be alright, fear of things not going your way? Once you realise your fear, you have to fight it when you face the same fear again. Its not easy to fight one's fear, but then one needs to make choice between losing out to the fear or fighting it back to emerge winner. Its a battle which we need to fight on own.

In this fast paced world, where people recklessly run the rat race, there is no time to think before acting. One loses temper as often as meeting of the hands of the clock. Short tempers are the biggest cause of breaking up of relations these days be it with your family, friends or collegues. It takes a minute to break relation that takes years to build. Relations are fragile like glass, and anger gives them those cracks, which though doesnt break the glass but remains as deformity in the glass.

You will live this life but once so why live with fear? Get rid of that fear, and let the things flow. Why get angry often on mundane things? Kick the butt of fear, kick the anger and the temper.

Stay fearless, be brave!!

Dusshera - A Revisit

2012-11-04T23:24:00.002+05:30

(All views in the following post are based on what I have heard and read from word of mouth. I have no evidence or any claim of the premise on which my assumptions are based).

An ugly looking female flirts with a man who she is not aware is married. The man is enraged by woman's gesture and chops off her nose. The woman crying goes to her brother and tells her the story. The brother is a big gun of his area, and seeks out to take revenge for her sister. Instead of meeting the assaulter of his sister, he chances upon beautiful female who happens to be assailants sister in law. The revenge seeking brother, falls weak on his knees and kidnaps the beautiful female.He doesnt touch her or forces on her while in captivity. The woman's husband rescues his wife and kills the kidnapper and returns back home. The whole world praises wife rescuer and calls it victory of good over evil.

The husband and beautiful wife return home. But the washerman, doubts the wife's intention and plants suspicion in husband's mind. Husband abandons his wife forever.

Does the story ring a bell? Yes, its our very own Ramayan, passed to us by generations.

The mighty Ravan, was a learned man. Very literate and pious. It was his sheer hardwork, that got him the greatness and make his kingdom, City of Gold (Sone ki lanka). He fell for Sita's beauty and kidnapped her. Kidnapping a married woman is wrong. He kept her imprisoned in his kingdom, until she had to become submissive to his wish. But Sita, the much faithful and devoting wife, stood guard of her devotion for her husband.Thus, Sita did not bend and Ravan never forced Sita, the learnt that he was, respected her dignity in that sense.

Ram or Lord Ram as we call, with entire force of his friends and pal, destroyed the entire Kingdom of Ravan, killed his brothers and killed him too.

The day is celebrated as Dusshera or victory of good over evil.

But before accepting his faithful wife, Lord Ram made Sita undergo the "fire test" or "Agnee Pareeksha" to testify her sanctity. Inspite of clearing that successfully, Ram abandoned her because his washerman had doubts on his own wife's sanctity.

Its such a pity, that only Sita witnessed the truth. But rest of the world never bought that, not even her own husband, for whom she underwent so much torcher and sacrificed so much.

Who is good now and who is evil? Sita never won but Lord Ram got branded as good.

Human History stands witness to a number of such events of past, where whenever a war or battle is won, the victorious is branded as good and the loser as evil. But the truth remains that it is never about good or evil, it is always about winner and loser. Ravan lost because of his own misdeeds but Lord Ram was no saint either. Sita on other hand was good but she was never winner.

So what do we learn from Ramayan? Maybe I havent witnessed it to understand it better or read it to absorb the true meaning, but for me, Dusshera is more of victory of winner over loser. The story thats passed on since generations definitely needs a revisit.

Her other side

2012-05-31T17:15:00.000+05:30

She looks at the world

her lips dont speak a word

her eyes speak a thousand stories

that lie hidden inside her, untold - unheard.

Her heart is a harem

where mayhem does a belly dance

in the chaos and pandemonium that prevails

Calm, Composure, Clarity don't stand a chance.

Her mind seeks some closure

to the volcano bubbling behind the veil

Its her struggle to contain the bursting lava

that does not let her wounds heal.

Life isnt the same everyday

Nor it behaves as one yearns

Its the destiny that manifests itself

through the karmas that one earns.

The dark cold stone of her diety

gives her determination to keep strong

It inspires her to continue with her might

as time and tide dont stay so for long.

As night turns , she readies like a doll,

her customers come and she dons her smile

A clean innocent soul like her,

for the world she turns into Geisha, the vile.

His Girl

2012-04-06T21:25:00.004+05:30

He looks at her with longing eyes. Her eyes seek him in the crowd. His mind takes him to the older times. The first time he held her hand, the times they spent togther. Her innocent eyes, with worlds most beautiful smile. Their walks on sand filled beaches. The walks with her feet on his. The fun, the frolicking while playing hide and seek. Their fights and make ups soon after. Her undying trust on him. She knew with him around, nothing could ever go wrong. He was her world. The best moments of his life.

Today is her wedding. She is with a guy who came into her life much much after him, and yet he will be the with whom she spends rest of her life with. Its her Bidaai time, she seeks for him in the whole crowd. Her eyes meet his and like summer tempest, she gives him the worlds tightest hug .He kisses her forehead, "Daddy's little girl, so very small, how and when did you get so tall?"

The Checklist

2012-04-01T23:19:00.003+05:30

Day: Durga Ashtami, the eighth day of the Navratras.
Place:Mumbai, India

Anjali was sitting by the window-side, feeling quite low. Holding a piece of paper in either hands, she gazed at the clouds in the sky with longing eyes.

Anjali was eldest amongst Mr Kapoor's three daughters. Life was never what she imagined for herself. As a kid, Anjali was always soft spoken , meek and shy girl. Being eldest, she was always under constant supervision of Mr and Mrs Kapoor. She had to be perfect example for her younger siblings and though she was most pampered one but life was extremely disciplined for her. She lived life by the rules that were laid out for her.Her decisions were taken by her family. Though she never hated that but she lived life by the checklist.

Checklist: Since childhood, Anjali learnt the art of disciplining herself by writing a checklist everytime. And this checklist was list of items, she had to complete - a todo list.
1) Clear Cupboard
2) Finish homework
3) Produce a new jingle on piano
...

Piano: Anjali loved to play piano. Her piano teacher forecasted that she would become a great musician one day. But her educationist family looked at it as a hobby rather than a serious profession. And so at age of 14, shutting aside all her hobbies, she had to take to serious studies due to approaching board exams. Anjali knew she wouldnt excel in studies. A slight dyslexic by birth, studies wasnt her area of interest. But her checklist consisted of an item : get into engineeering college.

Engineering College: While Anjali was preparing for entrance exams, Mr. Kapoor took very ill. With fragile financial conditions, engg college was a distant dream now. With relatives flocking their household enquiring about Mr Kapoor's health, Anjali had to burn midnight oil in order to find time to study. As luck would have it,Anjali got into one of the govt aided engineering college having minimal fees. It was here in her engineering days, Anjali realised her love for event management during her college fests.

College Fests:College fests opened new doors for Anjali. Her interactions with different kinds of people made her add another item in her checklist: Public Speaking. Being shy and timid, this wasnt an easy thing for her. After getting mocked once for freezing on stage, Anjali vowed to get out of her fear. It was in such college fests, Anjali realised her love for planning and organising events. So she added another item in her checklist: Event Management.

Event Management: After engineering, Anjali started working for an engineering firm. She still had her unchecked items in checklist at back of her mind. Her firm would organise various employee welfare events and she volunteered for one of those events.

The Event: Anjali was given task of managing stage performances. She had to coordinate between comparers and performers. The daily rehearsals had made her memorise the entire sequence. On the event day, unfortunately one of the comparers took ill. As a last minute replacement, Anjali was asked to compare as she knew the entire sequence. On the stage, Anjali looked at the massive odd 1000 people crowd, she got numb, just when someone from behind nudged her and Anjali spoke her lines. The regular rehearsals had made her memorise the lines so well, that her voice was confident though her mind was entirely blank.The event went well. And the next day, Anjali got a mail in her office mail box from Entertainment Inc.

Entertainment Inc.: Entertainment Inc, one the largest event management agencies of the country was co-organising the event. The VP of Entertainment Inc., happened to attended the event the previous day. He was quite impressed with Anjali's performance and asked her to meet him at their office over a cup of coffee, at 2pm on saturday.

2pm, Saturday: Anjali reached Entertainment Inc.'s office. The meeting turned quite a surprise for her as she was offered a post of Asst. to Event Director. Anjali could not believe her eyes. Her stupid checklist item about which she wasnt that serious, was coming true!! Anjali reached home ecstatic.

Home: The environment at home was quite opposite to what Anjali had witnessed at Entertainment Inc. Mr. Kapoor got the news that he would soon be jobless, as the company he worked for, unexpectedly planned to shut its operations following huge losses as result of global crisis. Now, Anjali was only earning member at her home. This also meant the entire household financial responsibilty was on her shoulders now on. The Asst Event Director job at Entertainment Inc wasnt as paying as her current one though it was something she always wanted to do.Stunned by the sudden turn of events, Anjali sat by the window side wondering.

Window Side: Anjali is stunned by the tumultous turn of events. A week ago, she took up the event thingy as a side task in her job, She ticked off Public speaking from her checklist. She even got offer for a dream work she stupidly wrote in her checklist. She tries to assimilate things. Why did her fate show her the path that she dint had to follow? On one side lies her duty, on other side her own dreams in the form of her checklist. Her mind is clouded with questions for which she seeks answers. She chances at the photo of Maa Durga on her wall.

Maa Durga: Maa Durga is diety prayed by Hindus during Navratras. The Real Iron Lady, seated on a tiger, Maa Durga also called Astha Durga has eight hands. The fearless Goddess is a fighter with a sword in one hand and simultaneously a messenger of peace with shankh (conch) in another hand. Maa is a true example of multi tasker and a balancer. Anjali looks at the pic and sees Maa Durga smiling at her.Anjali gets her answer.

Answer: Anjali calls up Entertainment Inc and declines the full time offer with them. But for her own experince she volunteers to assist them on their events on weekends for free. Anjali rememebers Maa Durga and adds to her checklist, few more items- manage home, job and assignment with Entertainment Inc,. She then lets out a smile, This too shall pass..

Jai Mata Di!

The Great Raja

2012-04-01T16:06:00.000+05:30

Yesterday while returning back home from office, the cabbie played a classic song on his cd player.The awesomeness of the song made me drool that I requested the driver to repeat the song, much to the irk of fellow passengers. It was probably the first time, I kept my headphones back into my purse and listened to the entire song wide eyed and wide eared, while rest of folks slept away in glory, ignorant of the pure awesomeness that was surrounding them.

Our brain has got two sides - the creative left and the analytical right. Music generally triggers the creative side of the brain, but this song, in my case triggered the analytical one. And so breaking the mysterious web that i have created here, the song was(including only the male singer lyrics- the chauvinist me ;))

***Drum roll***

Hey Eh........
Hmm Pehle Toh Kabhi Kabhi Gham Tha
Abb Toh Har Pal Hi Teri Yad Satatee Hai
Pehle Toh Kabhi Kabhi Gham Tha
Abb Toh Har Pal Hi Teri Yad Rulatee Hai
Pehle Toh Kabhi Kabhi Gham Tha
Magar Yeh Dard-E-Judayee Hai Har Ghadee Abb

Mai Tujhse Kaise Kahu Yeh Bata
Ke Teri Yad Ke Sahare Jee Raha Hu
Mai Tujhse Kaise Kahu Yeh Bata
Ke Gham Ke Aansuo Ko Khud Hi Pee Raha Hu
Mai Tujhse Kaise Kahu Yeh Bata
Naa Mar Dale Teri Bewafayee Mujhko

Ho Bata De Mujhko Bewafa Yeh
Mai Teri Rah Me Kab Tak Khada Rahunga
Bata De Mujhko Bewafa Yeh
Mai Tere Dar Peh Yun Kab Tak Pada Rahunga
Hmm Bata De Mujhko Bewafa Yeh
Tu Mujhko Kab Talak Aise Hi Rulayega
Bata De Mujhko Bewafa Yeh
Tu Mujhko Kab Talak Apna Naa Banayega
Hmm Ai Pagli Tu Kyon Ro Rahi Hai
Ke Gham Toh Mujhko Uthana Hai Judayee Kaa

Ae Pagli Tu Kyon Ro Rahi Hai
Tere Liye Toh Sama Hai Yeh Shehnayee Kaa
Ae Pagli Tu Kyon Ro Rahi Hai
Ke Gaon Chhodna Hai Mere Mukaddar Me
Hmm, Ae Paglee Tu Kyon Ro Rahi Hai
Ke Umr Gujregee Abb Meree Yeh Safar Me

And so the ANALYSIS goes like this: (Read it at your own risk)!!

PLOT: Sad Scene. Girl is getting married to someone else and guy is singing (as expected) a sad song in her memory.. SETTING: Picture a rain sequence. TWIST: The Guy, at times also sings on behalf of the girl (Refer the underlined parts of lyrics).

WRITER: The song writer is suffering from amnesia and deja vu simultaneously. As a result he gets a literary diarhhea. Every odd line gets repeated. Writer lets out all possible words and lines that he could ever write on girl getting married to someone else-bewafa sanam-udaas balma theme and put into this song. Thats one primary reason, even if u sleep in between the song, when you wake up, the song will still keep playing. Its a never ending saga of 10 - 15 miutes.

SINGER(MALE): He shares his initials with greatest musicians today (AR) - His Majesty, Qawaali King, Altaf Raja. Yes,yes,yes hes the one who sang the eternal epic song

Tum toh thehre Par-de-seeee,

saath kya nibhaa-o-gayyyyy....

tu-tu-tung-tudung-tung

Subah pehli..

tik-tik-tik-tik

subh-ah pehli

tik-tik

subh-ah pehli gaadi sayyyyyyy ,

ghar ko laut jao-gayyyy

tu-tu-tung-tudung-tung

Tum toh is one of the hot favorites in any gathering like pinics, razzies farwell parties,etc.

Coming back to our current song,PTKK (Pehle Toh Kabhi kabhi), the lyrics though sad, His Majesty, Qawaali King Altaf Raja doesnt sound sad at all. On second thoughts , why would he be, after all his girlfriend isnt getting married! #greatThoughts. He successfully sings in same monotone, the entire infinite length of the song.

SINGER(FEMALE): I am letting out a secret here. Shhhhh.. The songstress(no idea who) is a garba singer.(That explains her stamina to sing the marathon song). In off-season, she lends her voice to music videos a-la-T-Series. She was told that it is a duet and she has equal number of lines to sing along with His Majesty, Qawaali King, Altaf Raja.(Checkout the original lyrics below with her lines are in red)

He: Pehle Toh Kabhi Kabhi Gham Tha

She: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaaaa
He: Abb Toh Har Pal Hi Teri Yad Satatee Hai

She: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-oooo-ooooo-ooooo
He: Abb Toh Har Pal Hi Teri Yad Rulatee Hai

She: Hmmmmmmmmmmm-hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

VIDEO: Unfortunately, I never got the privlege of watching the video. Sigh! Ill youtube tonight, maybe!

That ends my analysis.

Verdict: Yes, office work exhausts my think-tank and so I am off to another great song by His Majesty, Great Qawaal, AR Ishq aur Pyaar ka, mazaa lee jiyeee, thoda intezaar ka mazaa leejiye..

Banter

2012-03-21T18:05:00.000+05:30

Place: My Home
Time: Morning

I am in my bedroom, busy ransacking my bag for finding some left over chocolate or any such junk food item. Mum is in kitchen amd hears ruffling from my bedroom.

Mom: Kya kar rahi ho?
Me: Mummy bas puja kar rahi hoon.
Mom(surprised): Puja?? Bedroom mein kounsi puja hoti hai? (Our temple is in visiting room,far far away from my bedroom)
Me: Pait Puja!!

***Stunning Silence***

Maid: Badi Baby badi Komdi hai..
Me: Yeahhh, I am a hot chick..
Mom: kaw-main-dee (comedy)!!

***Stunning Silence Again***

PS: I Love you.

2012-03-19T21:11:00.002+05:30

It seems like yesterday, when in one of our talk sessions we discovered how much we love to talk. It was first time in our life when we shared our deep thoughts and feelings. You told me about your childhood and growing up days. We felt so close and became the bestest pals. Though we never expressed our love for each other, both knew the unspoken words existed on both sides. But you know, heart is the mirror of soul and soon everyone knew about my feelings for you.

Time flew and we got closer and closer to each other. A glimpse of you from far would make me smile and I would come running to you and wrap my arms around you. Everyday, I would look forward to tell you how my day went by while you would wait for me and tell yours. Then there would be rounds of laughter and few guidances on what could have been done. The hours would pass by in minutes..

With passing time, I made new friends and now my life was not just two of us, but there were many. Though our talks reduced yet our presence in each others life was always there. Slowly we were reduced to just exchanging pleasantaries whenever we met. I dont know how you passed your time but I myself got very engrossed in new found friends, work and people around. And whenever, we met, we spoke of others and exchanged info. No frolicking laughter, no pulling legs but at times random fights.

Theres a saying, A man, no matter whomever he talks to whole day long or whereever he goes, when alone, always thinks about someone he loves truly. And yes, no matter how much distant we became in these years, yesterday when i was all alone, I came to you. You were alone too and made me sit opposite you facing you as you wanted to see me clearly.

We talked just like our old times. And in back of my mind, our old memories deja vu'd. I confessed, how lonely I felt, with moist eyes. You could not bear my moist eyes and gave me a big hug. Thats when as if the balloon bursted, I bursted out. I now knew, what i was missing all this time. You kept your hand on my head and prayed things will turn right, its just passing phase. You assured that you are there for me and believe me that was only thing I needed the most that time.

We might have grown apart as different individuals but even now, you can understand me much better than anyone else and I m glad, I still can listen to your unspoken words. We are made for each other and thats true.

Two different people we may be,

But truth is I m part of thee

I might never explicitly say

when on your lap, i lay,

just read my eyes and take the clue

I love you Maa.. I love you..

Happiness

2012-03-03T23:23:00.000+05:30

Hapiness is an illusion. It is a mirage in desert of life. We all keep chasing it.

Happiness is state of mind. The way we train our mind, is the way the mind manifests its feelings - be it happiness or sorrow. Expectation is the main culprit here. All the feelings we face arise from expectations we brew in our minds for all situations. Consider this: You have just given an exam and you surely "expect" to fail. The results day as expected you fail. You dont feel sad though you are disappointed.Why? coz you expected it. On the other hand if u expected to pass,youll be heart broken and sad at the failure.

Happiness is like a butterfly, we chase it all our lives and when we stop chasing, it comes and sits on us, seducing us to chase it more..

PS: I plan to complete this post someday.. Should make intresting read..

Whatever I try to say..

2011-12-03T13:57:00.001+05:30

Maine yeh bhi socha hai aksar,

Tu bhi, main bhi, sabhi hai sheeshe,

Khudhi ko hum sabhi main dekhein,

Nahin hoon main, hoon main toh phir bhi

Sahi galat, tumhara main.....

Mujhe paana, paana hai khud ko....

Jo bhi main, kehna chahoon

Barbaad kare, alfaz mere......

Destiny - I may never understand what you have in store for me. In all my darkest times, you show me the ray of hope, I consider the the path you highlighted as my fate and trudge along. The path slowly gets brighter and brighter n I consider myself lucky and blessed. The four days of laughter erase all the darkness I ever faced. While i m basking in my own glory, unaware of your further plans, suddenly lights go off. The path vanishes.

And then theres darkness, again.

As humans, we always look for ourselves in others. The people who even slightly come closer to our own reflection become pals and close friends. The moment they deviate from our reflection, thats where differences crop up. Its difficult to accept another person with all his/her fallacies and foibles. And its equivalently difficult to accept oneself for everything one is.

At times, I feel, me, you, we are all mirrors, We look for ourselves in everyone. So even if you are wrong/right, as your reflection , even I am wrong/right though I may not be. Accept me and you might end up accepting yourself!

Whatever i try to say, my words end up ruining everything!

Everything happens for a reason

2011-10-09T18:41:00.000+05:30

Theres a saying, "Everything happens for a reason", but still we are clueless about the reason most of times. Many a times theres a burden of unanswered questions that becomes the excess baggage in our lives and this baggage is something, we end up carrying all through the life. Most of times this "excessive baggage" is the cause of our actions or our unexplained behaviour or reactions.

As a repurcussion of the baggage, we are often lost in the memories of something that has happened. Often brooding makes way for deep desire to turn back time. We wish the times come again and we relive those moments.One must realise, whatever happened is gone. The moment, the time, the place, the people wont come back. The situation might occur again, but that particular moment is gone :). At the very next moment, the previous moment becomes a mere memory.

And thats where we must realise, we need to live each moment, each breath of our life.Give 100% to the current moment because thats the only truth in our life. Past is a memory and future is a mystery. The real truth is the "Present" and thats why its also a gift. So, if we truly live each moment in the best way we can, none of it can ever become in baggage in our life. Coz baggages are nothing but the unlived moments of our life.

Then what about the unanswered questions, or the baggage that already exists and keeps on interfering our life? After some soul searching I have realised, that this baggage of memories and questions happened for the reason and the reason is change. Its there to change our lives, to make us realise that in this huge universe, with innumerable galaxies having countless solar systems and planets, the one tiny planet has gazillions of human beings and out of those one is "ME", and this tiny being taking a burden as huge as the universe?

Ever analysed, how our friends are made? Every friend we make was a stranger at one point. It was some common circumstance that made us realise each others presence. And then after the first meet, its more realisations of the presence that turns that complete stranger into our friend!
Rewind to the first time you meet, there might be many people who were there at same place and situation, but not all of them are your friends. Its more than a mere co-incidence that only that particular stranger became your friend. There are no co-incidences in life. Its all destined to happen. So rather than packaging it as a baggage, one can realise the take-aways life offers, what difference the incidents or people made in our lives. Those are the real answers to the unanswered questions which are nothing but the excessive baggage occupying a part of our mind. Once we realise the answers, we can get rid of that excess and finally arouse the inner peace within us by staying light.

Am I talking like a zen monk here? Its a realisation that dawned upon me and made me firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I always looked for answers for everything that happened in my life, and carried this burden for a long time. After my job change, i always wondered, why did i leave my prev one, it was a good one,i was settled with friends around. I was reckless though then, never paused to think how to make things go better.But after the change, with completely unknown set of people around, living an anonymous made me realise my presence. No one around who knows me or recognises me, I got ample amount of time to look at myself rather than people around. The stranger in me has now become my friend. I know some of my faults and fallacies and it feels good to realise ones own existence amongsta gazillion others. I also realised, there were so many desires which got fulfilled without me realising that they were fulfilling (I visited a lot of places by chance, which were in my wishlist, happened to meet some great people and listen to them and actually understand what they say and mean, took a speaker series session for my department,and also spoke to lots of people, with whom i had lost touch!)
One really doesnt need to have a plan in life to live it. Just have a goal and keep living whole heartedly by staying light. The past is an experience.Good experience motivates to keep going and not-so-good one helps to realise the inadequacies in oneself .The not-so-good thus becomes a learning experience at times and changes our life for good. From my personal experience, the bad moments in life are actually those road blocks that make us change our routes and the changed route is generally the one where our destiny awaits!

So stay light, stay happy everything happens for a reason!

I would like to thank a number of people that i met ,spoke to or read about,people who rejected or accpeted me (acceptance and rejection are equally important).. Some of them made me change the route while some made me realise the reason.

Irony..

2011-03-13T22:16:00.000+05:30

Happened long time back.. but still fresh in mind ;)

As usual i was looking out of my bus window while returning home from office, when at the red light, our bus halts.
next to it, a biggg car halts..

The schuffer (wateva is the spelling) is at the wheel..
The sahab is at the back..

The driver(thts easy spelling to type) is wearing white shirt, trouser and cap.The typical uniform.
Sahab is wearing tie and coat - looking extremely corporate honcho kinds..

The driver is looking left and right and ahead, waiting for signal to go green..

But wat is the Sahab doing??

Sahab's has his fingers deep inside the nostril, rotating 360 degrees!!!!!!..

A comeback

2011-03-11T21:27:00.000+05:30

N here I make a comeback...

Long years ago, I had made my last entry on this blog. I had even forgotten that my blog ever existed. Reading it, made me sort of reconnect with some really fond memories... And what beteer way it could be than to post my poem which i had written in my 12th :)

Memories Revisited

Sitting by the window
Greeting the new dawn
Memories flash my inward eye
Like the birds that pass my lawn

Memories of yester years
Captured during my childhood days
When my heart ruled my body
And my brain followed the grace

Faces with innocent smiles
Untouched,unpreturbed
Undisturbed by worldly strives

Ambitions and goals to touch the horizon
To do the impossible
To make big decisions

Untold stories,unsung songs
Unfulfilled wishes for which I longed
Hope for the better ,during
Trial and tribulations
The rightful decisions
During dilemmatic situations…

Memories revisited bring me
Out of sorrow
They recharge me and
Prepare me for a better tomorrow

To Do or not To Do at Work

2009-03-22T19:23:00.000+05:30

1. When you have a deadline of friday, even if u slog out and finish by wednesday, never in excitement show the task on wednesday itself.. Time pass and attempt to look busy whole of thu n fri... n present only on fri evening!

2. Always keep one obvious loophole in your work, coz "nothing's perfect" is motto followed by boss.. so let him point out tht obvious mistake.. n save ur rest of "perfect work" :D

3. Work never ends, So never think.. lemme finish this fast n ill be free coz moment u r free... ull have more work to do..

4. Never work on full speed..coz if u finish fast..ull b given more tough work n expected to finish in half the time u took for prev work, coz now ull b expereinced n u have practice

5. Another.. n this is serious.. never forget ur lunch time

6. n most important.. never forget office timing...especially the "to" part (as in from -to timings) coz if coz of "work" u stay beyond "to" time, the day you actually leave on time, you feel guilty
and ask for persmission to go "early".. And all u get is a raised eyebrows with murmurs, "He left early!"

How to pass an exam!

2009-03-22T19:19:00.000+05:30

Now this is a blog...i always wanted to write.... since a very long time..but was hesistant..coz Gandhiji said, "Practise wat u preach"...So after doing 21 years of continous research and development, and actually participating in the trial run along with thousands of wannabe passouts,
Ladies and gentlemen...presenting before you.....tried and tested successfully with sigma .001 rating ...... "Exam pass karne ke anginat tarike" aka "Countless techniques to pass an exam"...
These tips are not those regular "dadima ki aazmaye nuskhe" ... they r new and improved to suit the modern requirements..Without wasting anymore of your time...Letus begin with the greatest discovery of contemporary world........
Exam pass karne ke anginat tarike.....
Countless Techniques to pass an exam........
i) Always sit on the bench which is least accessible from the visual reach of the invigilator...This bench generally termed as the "luckiest bench" is conducive for your eyes and your posture while you spy your neighbour`s answer sheets..
ii) Wear Cargo pants with lotsof pockets... Keep these pockets stuffed with various pieces of paper containing necessary and sufficient answers..and always keep a "master key" sheet of paper handy which has details of whereabouts of various sheets in various cargo pockets..
iii) Always sit at a location which has maximum possible visual access to topper`s answer paper..Contrary to belief that sitting besides the topper helps, i.e. it makes the topper "show" his/her paper, it was found during our exhaustive research that the species called "toppers" have this built-in and involuntary tendency of hiding their answer papers especially at the time wen u have the maximum urge to peek at them!
iv) Keep the permanent marker handy..and before the exam, pen down all important keywords on the bench...Make sure that before doing that, u have completely erased the previous permanent marker stains with a nailpolish remover!! The fashion of doing above exercise using a pencil has vanished long back...be trendy..use Permanent marker whose ink is permanent till nailpolish remover makes it temporary..
v) Go through previous years question papers..Generally and particularly if you are studying in an INDIAN UNIVERSITY... u will find...the question paper pattern, type of questions and at times the questions repeat regularly...Keep a check on permanent questions which never fail watsoever to come in every exam!!!
vi) Befriend son/daughter of the paper setter to get those very "useful clues" of wat might come in the exam..& if your friendship is deep enough, u mite b lucky enough to get question paper itself..(Inspired by 5 point Someone by Chetan Bhagat)..
vii) Always buy/keep the notes prepared by your class nerd or a local author..They are best summaries and 'to-the-point' answers to the highly complicated, sophisticated, complex foreign author`s books on same subject and at times in the same name!!
viii) Some Profs suffer from indigestion...Be favorites of those...Who knows they mite puke "clues from question paper" or "question bank" at u!!

n lastly and the most important of all techniques...If everything else fails....this one always works :
ix) STUDY ATLEAST ONE MONTH BEFORE EXAMS & BE PREPARED WITH WATEVER IS RELATED WITH THE SYLLABUS...Go thru reference books, articles, journals, previous question papers, e-books, advanced ebooks and watever u can lay your hands on...remember..Gandhiji said.."Honesty is the best policy!!".... All the best!!!

Comments , techniques etc are welcomed..But no responsibilty will be taken to include them in this entry...However if ur comment is included in the blog entry,due acknowledgement will be given!!

Disclaimer: The blog is a matter of solitication..please read the complete blog carefully and verify the pros and cons before plunging into action...Author takes no responsibility watsoever, if any of your actions after being inspired from blog goes wrong...Disputes if any shud be resolved at your nearest mental hospital or even at detention room of examination department!!