Golden thoughts

AS PROUD AS A PEACOCK

2024-02-15T01:49:00.002+01:00

"As proud as a peacock"

Yeah, you gotta know that phrase to pass your English exams, yet it is so completely false.

The peacock's beautiful feathers were given, by the One who makes all things beautiful, to show who it is.

Yet, spreading those feathers to make a magnificent fan, rather than fascinate, has earned it the badge "prideful".

For being?

For daring to be seen?

For refusing to hide its beauty away?

For knowing that to truly be, there has to be an audacious expression of self?

For refusing to be like another bird, who does not have such feathers and cannot spread those it has like so?

Okay.

ONYE WETARU OJI WETARU NDU?

2022-05-06T10:06:00.010+01:00

Oji a.k.a. Kola nut : A national treasure.

One of my earliest memories takes me back to nursery school.

SHE SHALL BE CALLED...

2022-04-01T15:06:00.010+01:00

When you say your names to yourself, do they sound like you?
Do they remind you of who you are?

TABOOS: HEARTH AND HOME

2013-09-26T19:02:00.001+01:00

Remi Ayorinde smiled at her reflection in the mirror. I look absolutely wonderful, for a sixty-year old. She turned her face from one side to the other. Satisfied with her inspection, she patted it gently. Of course, there are a few wrinkles here and there, but I’ve fared a lot better than most.

She allowed the towel wrapped around her chest to drop and still looking at the mirror, she slowly turned around, looking her body over. When she faced the mirror again, her hands went up to cup her breasts gently, then a slow smile lit up her face. They are a tad fuller than I’m used to, but I must admit, they are perky!

Her hands dropped and she gently ran her right hand over her belly. The fold she had always hated, on the lower portion, was gone. A tiny part of me misses that proof that those beautiful babies came out of me, all those years ago… A very tiny part, though.

She giggled and ran her hands on both sides of her waist, before twisting to look at her back. Bye-bye, love handles and Spanx!

Suddenly, she felt the need to dance for joy and the smile on her face grew wider. Who would have thought that the body I had as a girl would return? Omo was right… Dr. Abiodun does really good work.

TABOOS

2013-09-13T12:39:00.003+01:00

“I love you.”

There was no response for about two minutes after the message was read, so Femi Ayorinde frowned and sent another.

“Please, say something.”

“What do you want me to say? That you have a funny way of showing it? Or that I don’t think you’ve ever understood what love means?”

He blew out a breath from his mouth. “Please, don’t be like that.”

“Femi, have these years not meant anything to you at all?”

“How can you say that? This situation torments me too, you know?”

“Torment? Does whatever that word means to you, come close to how I feel, just by looking at your DP?”

Femi sighed wearily and dropped his blackberry phone on the ledge of the bathtub. He closed his eyes before rubbing his left thumb and index finger over them. When he dropped his hand and opened his eyes, he picked up the phone and stared at the open chat. The smiling face he had used as his display picture stared back at him, her dimples winking at him.

He gently rubbed his right thumb over her face, before typing, “You know how these things are.”

There was no reply for a while, but he could see that some typing was going on, at the other end, so he waited. Soon the reply came and he started reading.

“No, I don’t. Do you see me taking the liberties you do? From the way I see, it, you get to enjoy the best of both worlds. I don’t entirely blame you for your selfishness. I share a part of that blame too; because I have always indulged your every whim. All you have ever needed to do was snap your perfectly manicured fingers and I come running to you. It’s almost pathetic the way I wait to hear you say that you need me. I have a lot to give anyone, so I’m sick and tired of being hidden away, like some scum.”

Femi shook his head twice and started typing furiously. “You are in my life, as visible as you can possibly be.” Exasperated, he frowned and rubbed his left hand over the smooth skin on his head and resumed typing, “I love you and I want to be with you always. I want to shout to the world that you belong to me and I belong to you. But, I can’t. You know it.”

“You can, but you have chosen not to. We have options.”

Femi was still for a few seconds, a frown on his face. Sometimes, you’re the most exasperating person I know. He continued typing, “Those options have dire consequences. Have you forgotten that?”

“Then, you don’t want to be with me enough.”

He closed his eyes, at a loss for words. There was silence, for a about a minute, till the vibration of his phone alerted him to a new message. He opened his eyes and read, “Go, Femi. Go back to the one who the world knows belongs to you and to whom you belong. I bet you’re hiding away in some corner of your home, while she lies in your bed, waiting for you to come into her arms. When you make love to her, I’m sure you’ll think of me and I’m sure you’d wish it were me. I promise you this; you’ll never have me again. That would be my sweet revenge.”

His heart beat fast and he typed, “Come, on. Don’t take any rash decisions. You can’t do that to us.” When the message didn’t deliver, he got up from the edge of the bathtub and paced the bathroom. Soon, he flushed the toilet, before going to the shower stall to turn on the taps. He lifted his phone to his face and noticed that his last message hadn’t been delivered still, so he punched in some numbers, instead and put the phone to his ear.

The automated female voice at the other end told him, “The number you have dialed is switched off.”

He slammed a fist into the tiled wall and the jarring pain along the entire length of his arm had him biting off an exclamation and wincing. Nursing his throbbing fingers, he stepped into the shower and soon, his tears mixed with the water droplets.

SECRETS: REKINDLING THE FLAME

2013-02-17T03:55:00.000+01:00

“I loved you a whole lot, back then, you know.”

She turned her head quickly to him. He kept his eyes on the road, as he drove. “You never said so.”
“Not in words.”
“How was I supposed to know?”
He glanced at her. “I showed you…” He looked away again. “…and if you had stuck around, you would have heard it.”
“The last time we were together…”
“Yeah, immediately you left, I regretted not saying it back. I waited till I was sure you were home before calling, but you never picked. Then, I sent messages full of…”
“Romantic nonsense.”
When he cast a sharp look at her, she smiled ruefully and said quietly, “That’s what she called them.”
Without looking at her, he asked, “Who?”
She sighed deeply. “I told you I didn’t feel so good the last time I was at yours, remember?”
He nodded. “You had come from the hospital to see me.”
“I thought I had malaria and because I really wanted to see you, I didn’t wait to collect the test results.”
She shrugged and continued, “I planned to stop at the hospital on my way to work, the next day.”
She smiled slightly and shook her head. “But, before I got home, the doctor had called my dad and told him that I was pregnant.”
Slowly and in a detached manner, she recounted all that happened afterwards.

SECRETS: MOTHER KNOWS BEST

2013-02-09T07:27:00.003+01:00

“I’m so sorry, Sade.”
Eyes narrowed, she shook her head, confused. “What exactly is going on, Niyi?
Niyi blew out a breath with his mouth, ran his hands over his face and turned to Kunle, who was staring at Bunmi with a look of shock on his face. “Kunle.”
Slowly, he turned his head to look at Niyi and his eyes narrowed. “Yes, what exactly is going on, sir?”
“I am your father, Kunle. Your mother and I…”
“You brought your mistress to live in my house?”
He turned back to an open-mouthed Sade and shook his head quickly. “It wasn’t that way, at all. Agnes has never been my mistress. I had a brief relationship with her and that ended almost two years before you came into my life.”
Still looking at his wife, he waved a hand in Kunle’s direction. “Kunle was born, as a result of that relationship.”

Tears fell rapidly from her eyes and wiping them away, she whipped her head away from him. “How could you keep something like that from me, Adeniyi?” She turned back to him, tapping her fingers rapidly on the side stool between their chairs. “When was I supposed to find out?”
Her eyes narrowed. “In another will, maybe?”
He leaned over his chair, to grab her hand and she snatched it away. He sighed deeply and leaned back on the back of his chair. “I didn’t always know about him, Sade.”
Shaking his head, he waved his left hand. “That’s not entirely true.”

SECRETS: THE FATHER FIGURE

2013-02-06T18:06:00.000+01:00

A few hours later, in her grandmother’s living room, she wiped the tears that ran down her face, with the back of her left hand. With her right, she picked up the piece of paper on her laps and continued reading.
The way he asked me how you were, anytime I came back home, from a visit to you, told me more than you ever wanted to. You may never have talked about it, but I knew he was the one.
A teardrop fell on the paper.
Trust me, my darling. It will be alright.
Your father…
She stopped reading, as memories of a night, five years ago, came rushing in.

“How could you have been so stupid, Bunmi?”
“Daddy, I…” She put her face in her hands and started crying.
“Niyi, calm down, please.”
“Calm down, Sade?” He spread his arms upwards and shook his head. “Calm down, she says!”
He spun around to face her. “Where were you when your daughter was sleeping around?”
Bunmi raised her head and gasped. Niyi looked at her and nodded continuously. “Yes, you must have been. Why else do you not know the animal that got you pregnant?”
He pointed his right index finger at her. “Do you have any idea who you are? Tell me, do you?”
He brought his hand down and shook his head slowly. “The daughter of Adeniyi Williams-Akanbi will not have a child outside wedlock. That won’t happen!”
Bunmi fell on her knees and stretched out both arms to her father. “Daddy, please. I beg you… Please… Don’t ask me to have an abortion. I can’t do that.”
“You can’t do that?” He drew his brows together and nodded slowly. “I see. You prefer to bring shame to this family, right?”
“Niyi, please…”
Still looking at Bunmi, he said, “Sade, stay out of this. Oluwabunmi, I ask you for the last time; who is the man that dared to defile my daughter?”
Still kneeling, she pleaded, “Daddy, I can’t say now, please.”
He turned away from her and went to sit on his chair, behind the table. Supporting both elbows with the table, he put his head in his hands. There was silence in the study, for a while, till he raised his head again. When he wiped away tears from his eyes with both thumbs, Bunmi sprang up. “Daddy!”
His raised hand halted her in her tracks. He shook his head and spoke slowly, “I cannot allow another…” He paused and continued, “… a bastard child into this family and I will not have a daughter with loose morals.”
“Niyi, I beg you.” Sade got up from her chair and fell on her knees. “Please, don’t do this.”
He ignored her, still looking at Bunmi. “You will leave this house immediately. I cannot bear to see the shame that is you.”
Bunmi, crying harder, fell to her knees again and stretched out her arms to him. “Daddy… Please, don’t send me away. I beg you.”
He spoke slowly, pronouncing each word carefully. “You will take your things and you will leave this house now. Till you get rid of that thing in you, I do not know you.”
She turned slowly to look at her mother, who was crying too. “Mummy…”
“Leave my study now.”

SECRETS: WHEN THERE IS A WILL

2013-02-03T13:23:00.001+01:00

Otunba Adeniyi Williams-Akanbi smiled at his daughter. “You used to fly into my arms after any time away. Five years is a long time, Bunmi.”
She opened her mouth and shut it again. I can’t believe the nerve of the man.
“Why did you send your goons to kidnap us?”
“Goons?” He started laughing. “Kidnap you?” He waved his left hand in a dismissive manner. “You’ve always had a great imagination, Bunmi.”
Suddenly, he stopped laughing and spoke slowly, “A child who refuses to respect her elders will be treated like a child, no matter how old she is. I am your father and when I…”
Raising her voice, she cut him off. “Five years ago, you lost all claim to that title when you…”
His face tightened, but his tone remained the same. “Oluwabunmi Williams-Akanbi, I am your father and that has never changed. When I ask you to visit, you will respect me and do just that. When you refused to take my calls, you left me no choice but to force you to…”
She turned, pulling the twins to the door. He raised his voice, “Where exactly do you think you’re going, young woman?”
She opened the door and they walked through, without bothering to shut it. He was quick to go after them. “How dare you walk out on me, Bunmi? Have you lost your mind?”

SECRETS

2013-01-28T19:02:00.000+01:00

“Why mummy?” Jake whined. “I’m a big boy now.”

“Jake, mummy said that someone could steal us, if we don’t wait for her,” Joanna said, pulling her twin back.

When they started to squabble, Bunmi bit back a smile as she walked pass her children and got through the revolving door first.

“Leave me alone!”

“No, Jake. We have to hold hands now. Mummy said so.”

“But, you’re holding me too tight, Jo!”

“That’s enough, both of you,” Bunmi said sharply. “Jake, you know the drill. We all have to hold hands till we get to the car. Jo, loosen up your hold a bit, okay.

The parking lot of the store they had just come of out was almost deserted and dimly lit, so she couldn’t see her son’s face clearly. But, she was certain it wore a frown now. Just like his father’s.

Her mood soured and just when her thoughts were about going to the man that had fathered her children, she heard the sound of car doors being slammed shut. Turning in that direction, she saw two men get out from the back of a dark-coloured Honda Accord. From where she stood, she thought it was the latest model, but she wasn’t sure. She looked away, not wanting to make eye contact, but before turning away completely, she noticed them walk towards her and the kids.

Quickly, Bunmi pulled her children to the car. Something about those men made her uneasy.

THE MAGIC WORDS

2013-01-18T18:34:00.003+01:00

Some days ago, I had a really busy day and by night time, all I wanted was to send the kids off to bed and put my feet up. However, I was running a little late on their bedtime schedule and, since I didn’t want any mealtime drama, I decided on fixing them really fast food for dinner.

Nwando wanted the egg sandwich I offered, while the little boss man wanted some cereal instead.

Soon the sandwich was ready and immediately she took the first bite, she said, “Mummy, everything you cook is delicious. That makes me think you’re special.”

I wasn’t exactly surprised by that declaration, because she says such things a lot of the time. However, because I hadn’t been expecting it, it was an awww moment for me. Grinning from ear to ear, I came to her, hugged and kissed her and was rewarded with a huge smile.

Ikem was not to be outdone. He immediately stopped riding around on a tricycle and said, “Mummy, thank you for making Cerelac for me.”

Since he started talking a lot clearer, it’s always a delight to hold conversations with him, not only because he’s always certain of what he wants; but, because he mimics us a lot.

I hadn’t made his cereal yet. Infact, I was holding a plate with the dry cereal inside at the time. But, I rewarded him with a smile, a hug and a kiss too.

THE LOST PEBBLES

2013-01-03T18:50:00.001+01:00

Growing up, I enjoyed playing Mancala aka ncho. Whenever we travelled to the village for Easter or Christmas holidays, my siblings, young uncles and aunties, cousins and I would dig holes in the ground for this. We would use pebbles specially picked for this and we would play one game after another, for hours on end.

Years later, my mum bought a game of ncho for us. This was a wooden board, shaped like a tortoise and my siblings and I had lots of fun with it.

When I saw this board game in a store about two months ago, I was quick to purchase it in a bid to re-create some of that fun. I told Nwando it was a family game. The sound of that, for some reason, got her excited.

For a while, she reminded me that I hadn’t fulfilled my promise of teaching her. So, some weeks ago, I finally opened it. The board was plain but shiny and inside there were beautiful glass pebbles. We took the game into their room and played there. It was fun teaching her how to count her pebbles and try to outwit me and her excitement was catching. When we were done, we put away the glass pebbles into the holes on the wooden board. I folded the board to close it, then, put it into its paper packaging.

Not long after I left their room, I heard a crash that had me rushing back in. I realized then that I had forgotten the game in their bathroom. Ikem had found it there and when he tried to bring it out, it slipped from his hands and fell to the floor.
There were glass pebbles everywhere so the three of us started picking. I knew how many pebbles each hole was supposed to have during a game and I also knew how many pebbles had come as extras.

Luckily, we got all of them and I made sure to take the game with me this time.

SPAMGUARD

2012-11-05T19:32:00.000+01:00

A few mornings ago, I heard a sound alert on my phone that indicated that I had an email but I ignored it. After a while, I heard another alert, indicating that another email had just come in so I picked my phone and saw that the emails were notifications of comments on two articles on this blog. One of them was by an anonymous person and I already suspected what it would be.
I was right. The anonymous comment was a spam comment, one of which I've been getting somewhat frequently, lately. Usually, links leading to phishing sites are embedded in them. Luckily, blogger recognizes them and moves them to the spam folder. Unfortunately, other times, anonymous comments that are 'clean' get moved to the same folder and I would have to move them out of that folder before they can appear on the post.

CAGED

2012-10-16T18:44:00.000+01:00

Some weeks ago, I went to a circus with my family. It promised to be an interesting experience so we all looked forward to a fun evening. By the time we got there, a few animal right activists were already stationed around the parking lots with placards that denounced ill treatment of animals. I wasn't bothered by that, really, because I’m not wired that way.

Anyway, we took our seats and after we settled down, one of us went to get popcorn and drinks for the rest of us. One thing was certain, we couldn't wait for the show to start and we were not the only ones. The mood in that large tent was anticipatory as all around us, people settled in. There was a huge elephant on the stage, giving rides to kids and my adventurous Nwando wasn't to be left out. She asked if she could go on a ride and was thrilled when she got a ‘yes’. Off she went with her cousin while the Mister tagged along as the paparazzo.

GOING DEAF?

2012-10-12T23:57:00.002+01:00

A little over a month ago, I went on a trip with my family that involved flying for over ten hours at a stretch. Besides the fact that the flight was long, it was uneventful. Since it was already late by the time the disembarked, we spent the night in that city.
Early the next morning, we had to take a flight out to get another city, where we took yet another flight to our final destination. Exhausted, I fell asleep almost immediately we boarded the last plane but was awakened, after a while, by sharp pain in my ears. This wasn't the usual strange sensation I get sometimes in my ears in airplanes and which cleared up with ear-pops when I swallowed or yawned.
This felt more like there was intense pressure in ears that were blocked and that hurt a lot. As if the pain wasn't enough, my hearing started to go gradually. That was very scary. Initially, I could hear muted sounds of people chatting in the airplane but even that gradually faded till I could barely hear a thing.

A CORD OF THREE: IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

2012-08-29T12:27:00.001+01:00

“She’s so cute,” Adaora said, after cooing to the baby who nursed contentedly in her mother’s arms. She was kneeling beside Mina, who rocked on a chair as she fed her five-month old daughter. Azuka lay on her side on the king-sized bed in the middle of the nursery.
“Abeg, ‘cute’ is not a word that describes my god daughter accurately,” Azuka said, rubbing her belly. “She’s absolutely gorgeous! I can’t tell who she looks like just yet, though.”
“Ah ah. Why you dey talk like that? Look well, jor; Sotonye looks just like me,” Mina said.

Laughing, Adaora said, “That’s exactly what Baridi says. I think she’s a perfect blend of the both of you, jare.” She stood and walked across the carpeted floor to join Azuka on the bed. She sat cross-legged, placing both hands on the leg that was on in the front.

“Whoever she looks like doesn’t matter. She’s a beauty and she’s all mine,” Azuka said.

“You keep rubbing in the fact that she’s your god daughter, this woman,” Adaora said. “My Soprinye’s a fine boy so you no fit chance us o!”

When Mina said, “Na me be their mama o!” her friends started laughing.

“Thank God o! I go soon born my own, too,” Azuka said. “I just don’t like the fact that I’ve put on so much weight in the process. Every part of me seems to have doubled in size.”

“Welcome to my world,” Mina said, sighing. ‘It was so easy for me to lose the baby fat after I had Soprinye. I don’t know why it’s so hard now. Instead of any weight-loss, I’m getting bigger than I was while pregnant.”

“Sister, you’re a nursing mother, abeg. Moreover, have you forgotten how you were able to lose weight so quickly with Soprinye? I’m sure you don’t want to go down that route again.” Adaora said.

“I know, jare,” Mina replied. “I just wish I was like those women that lose weight naturally when nursing their babies.”

“Mina, I think you eat way too little for someone who’s nursing a baby,” Adaora said. “While breastfeeding, your body actually requires more energy and if you’re not getting it through a proper diet, your brain sends signals to your body that you are starving and as a result, your body holds on to all the stores of fat it can lay its hands on. You’re not working out at all too. That may be why you’re finding it difficult to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight.”

“Na wa for you, madam doctor. You try,” Mina said with a roll of her eyes. “I’m desperate to lose weight and there you are, advising me to eat more. About working out, you know me naa, I don’t want to over-do it so I’m going to wait till I wean Sotonye.”

“Okay o. I don tell you finish, sha,” Adaora said. “You should, certainly, not pig out on food but a little more could nudge your metabolism along.”

“The way I see it, this phase will last for only a short while so I don’t think it’s something to obsess over,” Azuka said gently. “Our bodies are doing amazing work and the knowledge of that makes it easier for me to deal with the fact that none of my clothes fit anymore.”

“Zuky, none of your clothes are supposed to fit, naa,” Mina said, starting to laugh. “No be human being dey inside your body?”

I CAN!

2012-07-31T18:16:00.000+01:00

Whenever I send Nwando on an errand that I’m sure she can handle, and she quickly comes back to say that she couldn’t do it, I always tell her to go back to the chore and complete it. Each time that happens, she returns to the task, puts her back to it and is usually successful in the end. That always thrills her to bits. So, some time ago, I taught her to always pump a fist and say “I can!” when faced with any challenge. On rare occasions, I show her how she can effectively take care of whatever it is I have asked of her. At those times too, I get a fist pump and a victory shout from her.

That means that these days, when she tells me she’s not able to do a particular thing, all I need to ask is, “Do you remember?” before her face lights up. Then, she gives a fist pump and says, “I can!” and runs off to do what I asked her to do.

Yesterday, when we had such a moment, I remembered a Bible verse that had served me well on various occasions and shared it with her.

Phillipians 4:13 (NIV) – I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength.

Together, we recited it, till she learnt it by heart. This morning, when she recited it to me, without missing a word, we were both excited and laughing, she said, “Mummy, I can say it perfectly now.”

After a while, though, I started thinking deeply about that very popular verse of the Bible.

I always remember it when I’m overwhelmed with chores and other responsibilities. At those moments, I am reminded that because He’s actually the One that makes it possible, I should neither complain about the fact that I’m juggling a lot of balls at the same time nor worry that I just might drop one of them.

Whenever my strength seems to be failing, I say a quick prayer and boost up my spirit with that verse. For a long time, I’ve drawn comfort whenever it reminds me that I really don’t have to stay as weak as any circumstance has made me. However, today, I realized that I have been under-utilizing that verse.

WAITING (im)PATIENTLY

2012-07-21T23:15:00.000+01:00

About a week ago, I noticed Ikem in their room trying to scribble on a book. He was having a hard time with it because as I quickly noticed, the lead at the tip of his pencil had broken off. I took the pencil away from him to sharpen it for him.
He quickly came after me and started throwing the kind of tantrum only an almost-two-year old can pull off. Crying and stamping his feet, he insisted that I give it back. I didn't say a word to him as I continued sharpening the pencil. As soon as I was done, I gave it back to him and the crying ceased immediately. Looking at the pencil, he quickly noticed the difference, rewarded me with "tan tan" and went back to his book.

There are a number of things that I am waiting for. Some of them are dreams which are really important to me so I'm excitedly looking forward to them coming to life. Others are little irritations that I can't wait to do away with.
This morning, I had a reason to think about one of those important dreams that hasn't been birthed as well as a few of those minor irritations that I still had to deal with. In my mind, I stamped my feet and railed against the circumstances that were annoying me at the time. I heard that unmistakable Voice try to calm me but I closed off my heart from listening. Somehow, at that moment, the big dream and the minor irritations all seemed tied together. I forgot that the dream was work-in-progress and would soon come to life by His grace. I also forgot that I have always been able to deal with those minor irritations because of Him who continually gives me strength.
In a snit, I started with my chores. I wanted to be left alone too till my head was sane again. As I worked, some of that red haze cleared and I realized that just like my son had done earlier, I had been throwing a tantrum, as well. Our methods may have been different. But, just like he had done, I had acted tired of waiting. I had also forgotten that I knew a little of what the bigger picture is. The realization that I had been wrong cleared up the remaining haze and I saw that while throwing a tantrum, some of the things I had been irritated by are actually my most major blessings. At that point, I was filled with remorse.

LEARNING FROM THEM

2012-07-20T19:10:00.000+01:00

Two days ago, Ikem poured a lot of baby powder all over the floor of the room I share with the Mister. Now, the floor of that room is made of shiny wood so the mess made by that was very visible. When I gave Ikem 'the eye', he gave me the cutest smile. I was having none of that so with those eyes still trained on him, I said, "Ikemsinachi, come here." Meanwhile, what is it with mothers saying a child's full name when he's in trouble? I still shudder at the memory of my mum calling out my full name. Anyway, I digress :)
He ran to where I was sitting on the bed and quickly threw his arms around my waist. Next thing I heard him say was, "I wov you." Even as I was struggling not to crack a smile, Ikem started singing Barney's "I love you". I started laughing and forgave him immediately, just like I'm sure he expected me to.
I was impressed as I thought of how my twenty one-month old son completely turned things around in his favour. Then, I wondered how he knew exactly what to do to 'play' me :) In a group chat with my siblings a few minutes later, I told them what Ikem had done and they were all amused. A brother called him a 'player' while another brother said Ikem knew exactly what women needed. My sister said that he's a charmer. When I told the Mister, his response was that I 'play' him in the same way. Me? How can?!!!

A CORD OF THREE

2012-07-03T00:13:00.000+01:00

"I'm so mad at him right now!" Mina exclaimed, with a quick shake of her head. "When I came home from work yesterday evening, I spent a long time in the kitchen making his favourite meal and then cleaned up real nice just to get his attention. He didn't get home early and by the time he managed to, he had the nerve to tell me that he wasn't hungry without even thinking of the amount of work I had done. I didn't even know what to say to him, really. To make matters worse, he just took a shower, turned out the lights and slept off immediately without a glance in my direction; So much for buying new lingerie to spice things up.”

Rolling her eyes, she added, “Sometimes, I think that man was put on this earth just to annoy me."

Azuka started laughing and at the look of irritation Mina flashed her, she raised both hands and said, "Please don't kill me with your eyes, madam. I wasn't laughing at you."

Mina rolled her eyes now and Azuka laughed even harder, "I'm just really amused at the way you said all of that. You do have a very dramatic way of telling these husband tales."

"You can laugh all you want o! Wait till you get married and your husband changes like mine did, then you just might go all dramatic," Mina replied. Sighing deeply now, she said, "Seriously, Zuky, I envy the freedom you have to just be your own person; I don't even understand this sudden obsession of yours to sacrifice that."

Adaora had been watching her two friends with a smile on her face. She noticed the sad look that flashed across Azuka's face. She wondered if she had imagined it because it was quickly replaced by a mischievous smile. "I wan be like una naa," Azuka said, winking at Mina.

"Besides that, there's a need in all of us for some sort of exclusive friendship and companionship. Everyone doesn't yearn for that at the same time or at the same pace but once in a while, it hits us that we can actually be more with other people," Adaora said. "I don't see Azuka's desire to be married as either sudden or obsessive. I think she's gradually come to that point where she needs more in her life, that's all."

"Zuky has so much already!" Mina disagreed. "She's young; she's very beautiful and she's also very successful in her career. She gets to do exactly what she wants and when she wants to too. In my opinion, she has it all o! Look at me naa, I was once like Azuka. I had wanted to get married like it was going out of fashion. When Baridi proposed, I was over the moon because he was everything I needed in a man, or so I thought. We've been married for only two years and already, I ask myself a lot of the time what had possessed me to marry him. He's so different from the man I fell in love with. I'm not even sure that he loves me anymore. If I didn't believe in the 'for better and for worse' ideology, I would have left my husband since o!"

Taking a sip from the glass of juice in front of her, she continued, "I've always wondered how you do it, Ada. You've been married for over six years and I've never heard you say anything negative about Dozie. There's this easy going friendship you share with him that I envy. Anytime I spend time with you guys, I go home determined to make my marriage work out really good. Both of you make marriage seem so easy, kai."

When Adaora sighed without saying a word, Azuka asked, "Ada, are you alright?"

Sighing again, Adaora replied, "I'm not sure I am, Zuky. I'm a doctor so I've always known that nothing good comes easy but lately, I haven't been very willing to work hard at certain things. Mina's right about a good marriage being the result of a lot of hard work. So many times, it's just easier to let things slide." She ran her right hand through her hair. Adaora had been friends with these women since they were all kids so they knew that whenever she did the hand-hair thing, she was very worried about something. She stayed silent for a while till Mina asked quietly, "What's going on, Ada?"

AND SHE CRIED SOME MORE

2012-06-17T23:02:00.001+01:00

The alarm startled Adaugo awake. She didn't want to wake up just yet so she burrowed deeper under the duvet and let it ring. When it kept ringing, she groggily opened her eyes. "I don't know how Obiora is able to sleep through his noisy alarm even when it's right beside him," she muttered to herself.

The lights in the room were all off but Adaugo could see the offending phone because its screen was lit as the alarm blared. She got down from the bed and slowly made her way across the room to shut off the alarm. She always hated waking up this early but she knew that, for her, the day had begun. So, Adaugo went into the bathroom to ease herself and after she was done, she turned on the water heater. When she came back into the room, she realized that Obiora was still asleep and she decided not to wake him yet.

He really needs to rest more. He works too hard

Last night, Obiora had come home late because he had been in a meeting that had gone on for a long time. He had declined his wife's offer of a hot meal and had, instead, gone to bed immediately without taking a shower. Adaugo knew then that he was exhausted so she had just covered him up with the duvet and let him sleep.

She left their room now and made her way down the hallway to their children's room. Opening their door, she took a peek at them. Julian and Joan were still sound asleep. As usual, they had kicked off their duvet so she went into the room and covered them up properly. Four-year old Julian stirred as his mother placed a kiss on his forehead. Adaugo waited to see if he would wake up and when he didn’t, she turned her attention to her seven-year old daughter.

She smiled gently. She’s such a beautiful girl and is growing very rapidly too.
Looking at both of them now she was grateful for her life and the blessing of her family. She and Obiora had been trying for another baby since their son turned two but that hadn’t happened yet. That had made her sad for a long time but lately, she had accepted that they may never have another child and had made peace with that. She was very grateful for the fact that she had these two.

If we have another child, it will be God’s will, she thought now as she left their room.

She walked briskly down the stairs. As soon as she was downstairs, she heard sounds from the kitchen. Patience is such a hard-working girl. I rarely ever have to wake her up.

Twenty-year old Patience had been their help for over three years. They paid her a salary but just last month, she had been enrolled in a fashion institute. So, every morning after taking the children to school, she dropped Patience off at the institute before going to her shop. That meant that besides getting breakfast ready and making sandwiches for Obiora to take to work, Adaugo had to get lunch ready before they all left so that they could all eat immediately they came home in the afternoon.

After exchanging pleasantries, Adaugo and Patience got to work. In about an hour, they were done and Adaugo quickly went upstairs. Obiora usually left the house before the rest of them so, Adaugo went in to spend some time with him before waking the children so they could get ready for school.

Adaugo opened the door, smiling. Obiora loved it when she hugged him from the back, as he dressed. That was like a ritual for them, one that had begun when they still used to go to work together.

She was surprised to see that the room was still as dark as she left it. Flipping a switch, she saw him still huddled under the duvet. That’s strange.

Alarmed, she quickly went to him.

Laying a hand on Obiora’s shoulder, she tapped him and spoke softly, “Wake up, sweetie. You’ll be late for work.”

There was no response from him so she tapped him harder. She noticed then that he was strangely still so with a thudding heart, she shook him instead.

“Obi, sweetie, please wake up, love. It’s not a weekend so you can’t sleep in. There’s work today, Obi.”

“Obiora, o gini? Is this your idea of a joke?” she asked frantically when all she got from him were involuntary movements as a result of her now desperate shaking of his body.

In a few minutes, it was clear to her that Obiora didn’t need to go to work. He would never be waking up again. So, with her arms around her body, she wailed.

ANOTHER SHOT AT LIFE

2012-06-08T18:06:00.000+01:00

She was running very fast to catch up with his car. For some strange reason, her legs couldn't move as fast as she wanted them to and soon, he drove out of the compound. She didn't give up hope, even then, because she knew that she just had to stop him. She lengthened her strides and ran as fast as she could, to keep him in sight.

Soon, he made a stop to pick up someone, who had obviously been waiting for him. She thought she could catch up with him then, but just as she was getting close to his car, he drove off again.
She was frustrated and was very tired because she had run for a very long time but she knew how important it was to get him to stop.

The traffic light changed to red just before he crossed an intersection, so his car came to a halt again. With a renewed sense of hope, she ran faster till, panting, she pulled to a stop beside his car. She took a look at his passenger and quickly looked away as those haunted eyes stared back. She quickly went round to his side and rapped frantically on his window. He turned his head to look at her with stormy eyes and drove off without a word to her.
She knew then, that she had lost him. She stood with her hands over her mouth and tears streaming down her face as she watched him leave. She saw the commuter bus that came hurtling from his left towards his car. She couldn't stop the shrill scream that came out of her mouth as the bus slammed into his car, sending it into a crazy spin. She saw his car slam into two of the cars that had been behind him. She heard the screeching of brakes as other commuters forced their cars to a halt. She saw people leaving their cars in a hurry and scampering to safety.
All she could do was scream.

DEAR DIARY

2012-05-27T23:56:00.002+01:00

Dear diary,

I'm sorry I haven't written in you in a long while.
Our nanny, Jumoke, was sent away by mummy last week. Yesterday, I overheard mummy telling Aunty Adaku that she found out that Jumoke is pregnant. I'm a bit confused, diary because Jumoke is not married. Can people who are not married get pregnant? I'm afraid to ask mummy because she might scold me for evedropping. Diary, I'm not sure that was the correct spelling but you know what I mean, right?

She said that to me two weeks ago when I asked her what trybalizym was.
Daddy had said that Aunty Adaku couldn't marry Uncle Tunde because she wasn't supposed to marry one of 'those people'. Mummy had said that was trybalizym and that daddy was wrong to think that way. I had been watching a cartoon and hadn't been listening to them but they had been really loud. I don't know why they have to yell at each other or at us. It's so scary whenever that happens.
Anyway, I like Uncle Tunde. He always buys Azuka and me chocolate. I wish Aunty Adaku would marry him.
I didn't tell you about it, diary because I've been so busy.

Since Jumoke left, Azuka and I have had to stay back in school till mummy closes from work and comes to pick us up in the evening. I get so sleepy after school but there's no bed in my class so I have to wait till I get home before I can sleep. That makes me very sad. I don't like doing my homework in school after my classmates have left, too. But, my teacher insists that I have to so that I can rest when I get home. By the time Mummy comes to pick us, Azuka and I are usually very tired so we don't talk so much in the car.
Mummy says it has to be that way till she can get a new nanny. I hope that would be soon. I'll ask her in the morning if Jumoke can come back to live with us. I really like her and I'm sure her baby will be cute.

I love new babies so much, diary. They smell really good. Mummy says that it's baby powder that makes them smell that way. Whatever it is, I like it.
But I'm scared of them now too.

GONE FROM SIGHT

2012-05-19T04:10:00.000+01:00

Ten days ago, a friend of mine died, having her third child. I cried for her because she had been young. I thought about the fact that for her, eternity had begun and I wondered if she had been ready to stand before God. That made me wonder about my readiness to meet the Lord and I wept some more.

I thought of the fact that there had been quite a number of things we had in common. We hadn't been separated by distance but, for some reason, we had not been as close as we could have been.

I asked myself if I could have done more and I got a resounding 'Yes!'

Chisom had been on my mind, a lot, for about a week before she passed on. I just put it down to her time of delivery being close. Then, one morning, I heard that she was gone forever.

I thought of her very young babies who were going to grow up without their mother. That brought more than a few tears to my eyes. I thought of my own babies and I just couldn't imagine them going through life without me.

I see her husband often and he looks really sad. Not only has he lost his companion, his life is now completely different from the one he had dreamt of.

Six days ago, another friend of mine passed on.

THAT THIN LINE

2012-05-10T18:15:00.000+01:00

I had a lot of conflict in my heart about posting a horrible video I saw last night. This conflict stemmed from the fact that each time I write, it’s not about sensationalizing a subject but about creating awareness. I also know that this video might actually give some sick people out there a high.

However, I know that watching this video would stir up the right emotions in a lot of hearts and just maybe, this madness would be curbed. Shame on anyone who watches this video and feels anything but horror and may God punish anyone who watches it and gets even the least bit of pleasure from it.

I was minding my business last night when I got this video. It elicited in me a whole lot of emotions. I was horrified. I was very angry. I was very sad. I shed tears about it and I hurt for that poor little child.
For goodness sake, what sort of a human being does that to a child?!
That baby certainly couldn’t have been more than six months. She could barely crawl.
Who but a deranged monster does that to a child?
What sort of a woman would sit back on her haunches while, obviously, thinking about how to cause more hurt to a baby?

That mad woman had an audience too.