logically Illogical

://Marriage.Equality

2013-03-26T16:13:00.001-07:00

With all this publicity and my Facebook news feed blowing up with equal rights with marriage and stuff, I feel compelled to voice an honest opinion without the hint of hatred or disgust. I'm not a supporter of equal rights marriage, or should I say non traditional marriage. This in no way means that I don't love my fellow brother and sisters, but I simply don't agree with the idea of disbarring traditional marriage for all sorts of marriage. The Idea of this legislation isn't for homosexual marriage to become a reality but all marriage to become a reality. Whether it be gay, bestiality, or inner-family... equality in marriage stretches over all these areas. Again, don't look at my disagreeing as hatred, but my simple opinion regarding this issue.

Bullying: Who's at Fault?? Part 1

2012-02-24T12:36:00.002-08:00

I don't have a PhD or a Maters in Psychology, I've just made some observations into the lives of children. One thing that I've noticed a lot is the instinct to rebel. Most parents struggle with their kids because the kids want to do something their way and their parents attempt to stop them in their tracks. For example: Your child (let's just say that they are in Jr. High) wants to go to the mall with their friends on a school night. No problem right? But there is one problem it's 5:00, their homework isn't done and they wont be back until 9:00, or at least that is what they say. What do parents do? There are several responses but I want to narrow down on three for now. The Passive response, The Aggressive response, and the Enabler response. Let's start with the Passive response.

The Passive response is how someone would respond if they don't want to enter into confrontation. It's the "turning a blind eye" approach. This seems to be popular, yet unintentional among parents. Due to the economic climate of the country, both parents are working and, depending on the situation, are working themselves tired. When they finally get back home, they don't want to put up with arguing or a confrontation. They just want to rest, so they will passively let their child go to the mall so that they don't have to put up with any arguing and bickering. Perhaps the parents aren't like this. Perhaps the mother and father got married when they were younger and are immature for their age. They could passively be neglecting their child because they don't care what happens to them, or that's how they feel a child should be raised due to a personal experience when they were a child. Either example is a passive response towards a child going to the mall.

How about the Enabler? The Enabler does just what it says, the parents enable their child to do whatever he or she please by means of "giving into" their demands. The parenting habits are no longer about what the parents says but what is negotiated between the parents and child. So your child wants to go to the mall but their homework isn't done, then you say "You can't go because you have too much homework to do". Your child then proceeds to say "Well, there isn't that much to do, and I can always do it when I get home! It's not like I'm going to flunk the class or anything". You have to come up with response in this negotiation or else you have lost the argument and must allow your child to go. Parents who realize that they have lost the input of reason in their child's life and give them the opportunity to fail over and over again (i.e. Drugs, Sex, etc) are saying to their child that it's okay to do these things.

We come now to the aggressive response. This response much like the enabler, but stops at the negotiation. Instead of having the child conger up a plea of why it's okay to go, the parents will say "well I don't care why you want to go or whatever reason you give, we have a rule and you must follow it". People might find the concept of an aggressive response to be that of hitting, but I assure you that's not what I mean. An aggressive parenting lifestyle is taking dominance over your child's life. If you say something, it's law, and if you break the law, you get punished. By giving dominance over your child's life, you are showing them that you care. You not only are disciplining the wrongs that they commit but you are rewarding the good that they do. If you don't reward the good stuff your child does, you then become a drill sergeant in the lives of your children.

How does this relate to Bullying?

Since learning to study people sociologically and psychologically from my classes, I've noticed youth that bully have parents who are of the nature passive or enabling. From the girls who call each other names and pull hair to the guys who pick fights, there seems to be a commonality among the parents. This is not true in every case due to different beliefs and values that the students hold but I find that the majority still rules in this case. This is not to say that we have bad parents, but rather misinformed, self taught parents. Think of it this way, would a country take a selection of new military recruits and throw them into a war without training then expecting them to work just as well as fully trained recruits? By no means, and I feel the same is to be expected of parenting. One simply can't guess at parenting and expect good results. We need training.

The reason for writing this article isn't to bash parents or come up with a program to help those who bully to stop, but to inform of why people act a certain way and how they will continue to act that way until there is a change from an outside influencing force. My next article will then depict the change that must happen within the bullier.

://American Masculinity

2010-11-24T20:58:00.000-08:00

Now this is a topic that hits home for me. Why you might ask? Well, because I'm a man, or so I hope. I feel that the term 'man' is just another label guys can give themselves. Like someone who drives through burning hoops in a car makes him a stunt man or a person who lives their life for the Lord calls himself a Christian. Boys will often say they are doing manly things and that is what makes them a man. The paradox is that what some people would consider 'manly' isn't what a man would do. Let's look at some examples. MTV often is the leading line in where boys find their role models. Rappers, Pimps, and Drug dealers are prime in the world of making money and being important. They get the ladies, the money and the cool cars. Even though there are organizations and T.V. shows that try to break debunk this fantasy, the message is still getting through to the youth of this Nation.

I watched a few episodes of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" today and saw one after one as boys (ranging from ages 20-54) were caught and brought to jail. As custom to Dog, he'll usually listen to the fugitives as they unpack their stories. Every one of the guys in the show never really had a father figure to show them how to be a man. If they did have a father at home, he was acting childish just as they are by selling drugs to assaulting their wives. The world of childishness is penetrating our culture and boys are never making that leap in to manhood. Being a child is easy. Being a man is hard work.

A man isn't going to make excuses for his own mistakes and he is definitely not going to hit any girl. That is childish. A man stands up for what he believes in and that belief is planted in Godly Leadership. This ultimately leads to sacrifice! A man is willing to sacrifice himself to a noble cause. When he gets married, he sacrifices himself for the sake of his wife. If he wants to divorce her because of selfish reasons, then he got married for selfish reasons and is acting childish. Society has it all wrong. Driving down the streets, I see signs that read "quick and easy divorce". They might be quick and the might be easy, but being a man is hard and he must endure through the hardships in life. What I'm saying isn't a one way street. Girls have to act like Women in order for this system of roles to work.

Boys give up way to easily in this world because it is too hard. We quit our jobs, dump our girlfriends, and sell our cars and for what? So we can get the next good paying job, get the hotter girlfriend, and get a faster car. Men don't give up so easily on the things in this life. This is childish what we do when we give up so quickly.

This is a rant + a quick draft of my thoughts for the evening.

My new dedication

2010-07-13T13:48:00.001-07:00

I find that I'm very minimal on the aspect of spiritual disciplines in my life. So I'm deciding that I need to Journal once a week so that I can connect to God through my Journal.

Ever since I got to El Paso, I felt like I had it all together but after a few days I found that I was a complete fool in the area of youth ministry and the knowledge that I held was nothing more than pure book smarts. It sucks when you thought you had it all together and realizing that you had nothing together...Well you have a youth ministry Notebook that has some stuff that helps you out.

It feels that every step that I take has been a little failure but now I'm focusing less on the failure part and more on the 'how can I not do this again' part. My fear before coming to El Paso was failure. My mentor has been breaking me of this fear and stretching me to be more leader like. I'm on this journey to become a better leader and it hasn't stopped me yet.

The next big thing that I'm working on is who I choose to be around the youth. Will I be one of their own? A big brother? or another adult? This is a difficult process with becoming the leader that these kids need. I will get this right.

Wait!

2010-03-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

Waiting, patience, any word that describes utter insanity...

This is my life right now. I feel that I must wait for the good things in life when it comes so easily for others. Why must I wait? Is it due to my nature? Must I wait to prove something or must I wait to fulfill what is good? I have no Idea and it's driving me crazy. I've been waiting for the past 21 years of my life but what will one more year hurt. It's not like it's going to kill me.

I'm waiting for what God is calling me to do...to be... to see. It's so hard too when he isn't physically right hear with you in the the place we call home. So badly I want to overrule his ruling, but what would that do to her? He's speaking to her... and not me. Maybe God is speaking to me through her. Through what God is telling her, He's indirectly telling me the same thing. If this is the case, then I have a lot to do to get ready for what is to come.

How must things change then? If I must obey God, then what must change between me and her? Should anything change? Or must I continue down this pathway of friendship until you change your mind God? This is frustrating but yet again, when isn't God frustrating? My mind is clouded by selfish ambition. It has been for the past 4 days or so. I can't stop thinking about it...about me... about her. What will come of all this? Only God shall know, and only He alone, may change the verdict. Oh, how I want him to change that verdict, but I must wait. I didn't wait on God so now I must wait now. We didn't wait on God, so we must wait now.

Oh help me get through this.

Oh... my heart

2010-03-08T21:45:00.000-08:00

How my heart aches
I don't know how to make it stop

Every second is another thought of you.

Romance

2010-03-05T00:29:00.000-08:00

This feels good, none the less. But what I'm experiencing, I'm wrestling with the thought of whether what I'm doing is looking past the individual and seeing into the heart and loving on that, or rather it is just romance.... I don't want to hurt anyone including myself. I pray about this every night, whether or not this is meant to be by God. Is this who I have been praying for or just another flirt? Will this go beyond friendship or will this lead in an adventure that will push me, mold me, and soon consume me?

Part of me wants a challenge, and part of me fears commitment. I'm writing a sermon on courage. I used to think that courage could be found in a resource, or a friend or with in your self. But I'm finding more and more that this isn't true. Our bodies have limits, our friends aren't always there and money can't solve everything. We are living in a fallen world where we have conflict with everything around us... well almost everything. Not God. I find that with in His will and his power, I can do all things. This sounds kinda christian Cliche, but the drive that I have on behalf of God is much powerful than the drive I can get from listening to music or from some speaker at CIY or even from what I tell myself. God Ultimately holds all the cards and he can dish out what ever he wants whenever he wants. He is our great king that leads us into battle, the victory horn is being blown.

This is what gives me courage, but now that this is with a girl I have no Idea. I don't know what to do but I can't wait to see what happens next!

Flirtation

2010-02-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

Why do I like to flirt? It feels great! I can't deny it but I need to be cautious with it. It feels great to know that someone else sees something of interest in you, but to yearn for that feeling of romance cannot be the limitations of our relationship. There must be a foundation of reality and not just social networking, although that seems so easy (because it is). Part of me just wants to push flirting aside and jump right into a relationship but I just don't have the time and I don't want to rush things. The thing that I've picked up on the most while being here at college is that Ozark truly perverts the view of dating. Any where else, you get to know people and enter into a relationship. Here, you have to know what type of personality type you guys are and whether your degree focus is going to conflict with what God wants for you. The atmosphere is pressuring you to not be friends but rather be more than friends with everyone that you meet of the opposite sex. There has been many occasions where every girl that I meet, in my mind, I look to see of the possibilities of whether the two of us and engage in a relationship and possible marriage. I HATE this mindset. Thank you Christian College atmosphere!

I'm not going to put up with it any more. My cynicism will soon tell me that the "christian way" is nothing but a sociological label called genre of how people act and what they do. I'm sick of how we make things out. May I oppose the culture that the people of the church make and rather become a true follower of Christ and all that it entails. (not saying that the others arn't Christians)

Ozark's Community vs. Facebook Ozark's Community

2010-01-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

I've been reading up on the social construct of what makes a community and actual community. For the past decade, our lives have been transferring from a physical community to a networking community. Myspace, Xanga, Facebook are all examples of the social networking site I have used in the past to express my thoughts and opinions for the world to know. Facebook, recently, has been used to connect with friends in my community at Ozark and here at my home. But the issue at hand entails what 'connecting' means.

Community, as defined through the book "Key Concepts in Urban Studies", is identified as a group of people with the commonalities of 1) participation, 2) identification and 3) location. Participation being the activities that connect that community together. An example of this would be communion for Christians or going to church. Identification is what clearly shows others who we really are. For the identification of Sam's Club, it is the Membership Card. And Location is the place where people go in the given community. For Chicagoans, it's Chicago.

Now my questions is regarded to whether a social network can truly equate to a community. I am not bashing facebook, I'm merely pointing out how social networks equates to an impersonal relationship with those we call 'friends'. I find this true with myself whenever I leave a comment on facebook or even when I text someone. I'm asserting the minimal effort to communicate with my friends so that I can spend less time in communion with them. I don't just call them up because perhaps, in the physical reality, I'm scared to. Perhaps social networking has destroyed my ability to speak to people... to have a personal relationship. I'm scared to say, but this might be the reason why I have been single for so long.

So we'd rather communicate through Facebook Chat to talk to the person down the hall rather than get up and walk 30 feet. One would rather text their son who is downstairs to tell him that dinner is done rather than call down to him or go down to get him. Funny?... yes; depressing? ...Yes. Regarding Ozark Christian College, I feel that whenever I leave a comment, a post, a video, I'm pushing myself further away from that person. Think of an email or voice-mail... the idea for these sources of communicating is saying that "I don't have the time" or "my time doesn't match with your time so leave a message and I'll get to it when I can". When we incorporate this into our 'community of Ozark', we are pushing everyone away by subconsciously saying that we don't have time for each other, and when we do have time it becomes awkward.

Friendship isn't defined as a click on a social networking cite but rather the community one has with that person. Friendship is a community in itself. There are certain things that both parties do together (participation), they have a commonality (identification), and they usually meet in certain places (location). Facebook can't offer participation and the only identification is a picture and profile interests. Some may regard the actual website as a location but it is merely a virtual reality that distance ourselves from actuality. Think of the game World of Warcraft. The friends you have in that game are only part of a virtual reality and truly can't offer you what a personal community can offer.

I'm tired of the impersonal relationships that facebook has to offer. I want more than just a comment, I want a relationship. I want to relearn how to talk to people and not to be socially awkward. I want reality.

Ro 7:21-25

2009-12-31T09:38:00.000-08:00

²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? ²⁵Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

We sing worship songs that talk about our relationship with God and their all fluffy with goodness. How we follow God with all our hearts (Here I am to Worship, We Fall Down, Every Breathe I Take, etc.). It feels like whenever I sing song like these, I lie to myself and to God. I call him my Lord, but I'm doing nothing to make him famous. I'm stagnant in this relationship that I have with God. My problem is that I'm not doing anything!

I'm letting myself go... I feel like I'm pushing God out of my system and letting sin creep in. I remember in Healthy Relationship's class talking about setting up boundaries with girlfriends so that we don't get put into situations where there is no way out or where sin is overpowering. I should start doing the same with my life here at home. I hate being Luke Warm. I need to start doing things for the Lord and not for my lazy self.

I don't do anything...I call it resting, but it's complete laziness!