Salty One

Adjustments

2012-02-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

I made a decision and it's a good one. I am going to cancel my appointments for any kind of treatment and wait until I have a definitive diagnosis. If we're dealing with hard tissue like my spine (ICK! Just thinking about my spine being injured gives me the heeby-jeebies!), I want to know what exactly is wrong and make an educated decision about a course of treatment. I love Dr. TK, but I am not sure chiropractics are the right treatment method for me once we're out of the soft-tissue arena. Since the crazy spine treatment thing I had on Thursday, my leg feels a lot better but my back feels more screwed up than ever.

In other news, I made the terrible mistake of googling herniated disc treatments and did not like what I found. Spinal surgery or MONTHS of physical therapy and rest from running. Basically everything I found indicated I won't be training for a while. While I'm eager to know what is going on so I can make the necessary mental adjustments to cope, I don't want to start freaking out until I know exactly what I'm dealing with. I don't even know if it's my spine or something else. After weeks of thinking I was simply dealing with this or that soft-tissue injury I am not assuming I have anything until I get an mri or an x-ray. At the same time I'm speculating on my possible near future working on the other two triathlon disciplines. Anyone have a trainer they want to lend me?

The Saga Continues

2012-02-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

So I had this week's appointment with Dr. TK today. I wasn't sure what to expect. Since I started running again, if I'm being perfectly honest, I've felt like nothing had changed. It took a little longer before my leg hurt, but it hurt just as bad as ever by the end of my runs. Ugh. I was feeling really depressed about it. I walked into his office and almost broke down describing how I felt. I mentioned that my foot is tingly by the end of my runs and a(nother) lightbulb went off.

Before I get into that, every time I see TK I have to sit in a waiting area overlooking the spine patients. The spine patients are all laying on these weird torture table looking things watching televisions. It's kind of creepy and I always find myself staring at them and wondering what unfortunate circumstances led them to the rack.

TK says, "do you have some time?"

"Um, why?" I inquired.

"I would like for you to go on the table for about half an hour."

"Um, why?" I inquired, this time semi-petrified.

"I want to use it as a diagnostic tool. If it helps you I would bet you have a slightly bulging disc."

"Oh crap! How long is this going to take to recover from and if it's not that what the hell is it and WHEN CAN I FREAKING START TRAINING?!!!!!?"

Ok. I didn't respond that way, but that's about where my head was. He went over all the offending muscles and everything felt good. And then I walked over to the table.

"Pa, set her at 50," TK told the physician's assistant.

The PA questioned, "but she's so tiny. I think it should be 35, 40 max."

"Oh no. She's strong. She can handle 50. Put it at 50," TK responded.

"You're the boss," PA said.

This conversation did not ease my mind. TK went back to his next ART appointment and the PA strapped me into what looked to be a harness Sandy Duncan as Peter Pan might have donned. And then she strapped it to a contraption at the end of the table as I laid on my back. And then she turned it on and every 10-15 seconds 50 lbs of force pulled my pelvis down towards my toes and then released for 10-15 seconds. This went on for 30 minutes. It really didn't feel like it did much. It was weird and my foot tingled, but otherwise I was certain this was yet another dead end.

When my treatment was finished, PA put an ice pack under my lumbar area and I laid there for a few more minutes. Then with no fanfare I got up, made a couple of follow-up appointments and left.

As I drove to my in-laws to pick up the kiddos I called mrp. I bawled the whole ride home on the phone with him and then I bawled some more when my m-i-l asked me how it went. I have put on a brave face through this whole ordeal and I finally reached my limit. I called coach on my way home from the in-laws and he recommended an orthopedist for a new perspective on things. I came home and made yet another appointment for next week. My back felt kind of weird.

I cried a lot more the rest of the afternoon. So frustrated. But by about 4:00 I realized that I could sit without pain. Then I noticed I could extend my right leg without that awful pulling I've felt in my butt for months. I haven't run today. That will be the real test tomorrow, but right now it feels the best it's felt in months. Could this be it?

Have a Refreshment

2012-02-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

Monday morning. The sun was brilliant. The sky was as blue as my new running shoes. I walked out into the crisp morning and began to trot. It felt good! My psoas was definitely sore. But that's new. It wasn't typically sore before unless I was doing ab exercises or coughing. This is good. This is the first time I've run since my psoas has been unknotted in over a year so the soreness is an indication it's working! The butt muscles feel worlds better. Still something going on in there, but much less pinchy and tight. I also noticed my right foot did not hit my left calf as it often used to on easy runs. This is big time progress. I have a lot of work to do and I can't say I am 100% confident I am out of the woods, but I do have a good feeling that this is the start of my return. I will continue to build up my mileage, do my pt exercises religiously, have the psoas and ancillary muscles treated weekly and be patient. If I can have a quick comeback, this is certainly the recipe for it. On to tomorrow and another run!

Sunday Morning

2012-02-05T06:29:00.000-08:00

Enjoying my last Sunday morning without a long run for a while, hopefully!

Me*

2012-02-03T06:19:00.000-08:00

The fact is, I am a much leaner machine when I'm training then when I'm not. Before I started running regularly in 2005, I only weighed about 10-15 lbs more than I do now in the midst of a hard training cycle, but I wore clothes 2-3 sizes bigger back then. Basically, the point is you take running away from me and the pounds creep back. This has been a tough 5 weeks for me. Not training and periods of no running at all are hard enough just because it's a loss of doing something I like to do. The less time with friends, the lack of the stress relief and endorphins release are hard, sure. But the thing I am struggling with the most is the fact that I've gained 4 pounds. It sounds absurd just typing it.

In theory, I realize it's not possible to stay my leanest at all times of the years. In fact, it's probably not even healthy. Yet, I find it so hard to accept my body with a couple of extra pounds of chub. I hate the way my jeans feel. I hate feeling like I need to pull and tug my sweaters so they don't cling to the bit of flab I feel is there. I know in reality, no one other than those really close to me could possibly tell I weigh more and no one would look at me and think I was fat. If I flew out of my body and looked at me across the room I'd probably laugh at myself for feeling this way. Yet, I do.

I take so much pride in my strong lean trained body and no matter how much I tell myself that this state is temporary, that I will soon be the chick (semi)comfortably rocking the boy-shorts and sports bra, I have a hard time accepting my body this way. I want to tell everyone I see--"hey, this is me not training! I normally am leaner! I swear! I do not accept this level of flabitude for myself!" It's like I'm me, just with an asterisk. I want everyone to know that average is not acceptable. Above average is not acceptable. Right now I might still be above average, but if I'm really being honest, deep down that is not good enough for me. I certainly don't judge others against my standards. Why then do I hold myself to these (impossibly?) high standards?

I struggle with whether to view my attitude about my body as an unhealthy body image or just my personal preference for myself. I am sure I'm not the only female runner or athlete out there who feels this way. At least I have the recent experience of losing 50 lbs twice in the last 3 years to give me a little perspective. I suppose compared to post-pregnancy, these four pounds I'm sporting are really no big deal other than making those jeans a bit uncomfortable.

Can't Wait for Monday!

2012-02-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

"I can't wait for Monday!" No, that's not a quote (that I know of) from Sh*t People Don't Say. That's what I'm really thinking. Dr. TK says I need to give all the offending lower crossed muscles a little more recovery time. Everything is improving according to plan, but just to be on the safe side there's no harm in waiting a few more days. Plus, I'd really like to test it all out on a day I don't have it treated, just because the treatment itself can irritate everything. I want this right leg to feel the best it's felt in months when I hit the road (er, treadmill) again. So, Monday is the day. This weekend will be filled with ellipticals, pt exercises and stretching. Oh and good weather. Since Murphy's Law revolves around me and my running winter will surely arrive the first day I am able to run outside. You can thank me for the mild January next time you see me.

January Summer

2012-01-31T19:22:00.000-08:00

Today was 61 degrees and sunny. January 31. In Cleveland. Really! Normally, in honor of such an occasion I would strip down to a sports bra and shorts and run run run! Of course I couldn't do that. No running until my ART appointment tomorrow at the earliest. Please let my appointment go well and get the all clear to start back up!

Instead of the near-naked run-a-thon the kids and I had a great day. We met JenC and WC for some swinging at the playground and a chaotic lunch (can a lunch with 3 tots be anything but?) and then came home and ran around without our coats and enjoyed a snack on our bikes. Well, they did. I just kind of stood there, smiled and watched how cute they were. And then after their naps we played on the swingset and in the dirt. We took the pedal tractor out for a spin. We toured the garden and checked out the cover crop and the bluebird houses with daddy. It was a little taste of summer in the dead of winter. And even with no run today, it was a great day. Tomorrow it's supposed to cool off a bit, but it might be great day too if I can get a few miles in.

The Injury Gift

2012-01-29T12:40:00.000-08:00

As I sit on my un-runned-today butt it's easy to get down on myself and start to wonder if this year is going to be a bust. It's easy, but it ain't happening. This injury has been a gift. I learned that I have had a condition holding me back for a long time. I can now address it and move on from it. I also have extra time. Before I was injured, this time would be spent running and trying to plan when I can run next. Now, in between pt exercise sets I can contemplate the extra things that I can do to ensure I reach my goals this year:

< 18:00 5k
< 30:00 5m
< 1:20:00 hm

I will achieve these goals by listening to Coach G and old-fashioned hard work, but I also know I need to do the following:

Abs every day (e.g. planks). Hard abs 2-3 x per week (e.g. 15 min. ab circuit).
Maintenance strength training 2-3 x per week (e.g. squats, lunges, calf raises, clams, etc.)
Early treatment of minor injuries as needed (i.e. ART, pt, massage, etc.) No more of this ignoring and accepting pain stuff.
Stretch daily. Stretching isn't for everyone, but it helps me and I always feel better when I do it daily.
Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. Running around taking care of kids all day leaves me thirsty far too often.
Run easy days at an easy pace.
Iron supplements. I need to switch to an iron-free prenatal vitamin and get a good food-based iron supplement.
Relaxation. I must spend time at the end of the day doing a formal relaxation exercise.
Visualization. I can spend time visualizing myself achieving my goals after my relaxation exercises. Convenient!
Affirmations. Remind myself that I am capable of meeting these goals.

And along those lines, this year is going to be my fastest yet!

Elite Little Me

2012-01-27T19:06:00.000-08:00

I mentioned my friend Liz's new blog last post. It's a great read and it just so happens she's also dealing with a pesky injury right now. It helps to have someone who can relate to stuff like feeling like a psycho going bonkers on the elliptical at the gym trying to get your heart rate up to something close to a tempo run. There is something she wrote that I love and am stealing:

I set another resolution for 2012, which is to act like the ~~sub-elite~~ elite athlete that I am. It may sound pompous, but I hope that it will help me to be more conscious of the decisions I make when I am not running (nutrition, recovery, sleep, strength training...) I imagine it will still take persistent questioning to get me to fess up to my race times unless you're my husband , teammate, or training partner.

Her times are better than mine! But I love this idea. Fake it until you make it, as they say. I think this kind of mentality will help me tremendously.

E-speed was just telling me how I need to have more confidence in myself, "you have just as much ability as me and NC," she said. My first reaction is to scoff. Me? The same ability as a 2:49 and a 2:39 marathoner? Ha! Did she see how the two of them completely and utterly dusted me the last time the three of us raced together? (I think they ran 6 and 4 minutes faster than me in a 10 mile race!) But. But. Butt! My butt! And my brain too. Now that I'm fixing my butt I should be much faster. And then if I fix my brain a little bit and infuse it with the sense of confidence that comes from embodying an elite runner, whoa.

Taking on an elite attitude might sound pompous, but it has nothing to do with anyone else. It's not saying I or Liz or anybody is better than anybody else. It just says, "Hey self. You are worth treating like the kick ass athlete you are." And if the word "elite" is what gets the mind to do that, then that shall be the word I use. So I too resolve to treat myself like an elite athlete. So with that, I shall get up from this chair, close the laptop and do some pt! Thanks, Liz!

Lower Crossed Syndrome

2012-01-26T12:04:00.000-08:00

My butt hurt and my hammy was tight. That's all I thought it was. I didn't connect the dull ache in my lower abdomen, the fact that my abs stick out to the extent it looks like I'm in the early stages of pregnancy when I don't keep up with my core exercises and the tight calves. But once I mentioned to Dr. TK that my psoas was bugging me the light bulb went off and it suddenly made sense why I didn't feel better yet despite all the seemingly successful work he had done on my hamstring, piriformis and gamellas (tiny ancillary butt muscles).

Lower crossed syndrome. It's a condition in which the psoas or other hip flexor is tight and po'd. The tightness in the psoas causes the glutes to relax and more or less shut off. This in turn cases the hamstrings and supporting butt muscles like the piriformis to do more work. It also cases tightness in the lower back which is offset by slacking abs--hence the 2 months pregnant look I was sporting over the fall when I stopped doing core workout because my psoas was hurting. Vicious cycle!

LCS is often caused by sitting for long periods of time at work, but is also somewhat common in runners. For me, though, the culprit was the high level of training after the two pregnancies weakened my abs which then caused my lower back to do too much work and strained my psoas which then turned my glues off which then overworked my piriformis when I run and so on and so forth. This has been going on for a loooong time.

It's really good news. It removes the gray. Once we get rid of the adhesions in my psoas and lower back muscles, which we probably took care of today (ooooooeeeeeeee that hurt!) and I retrain my glutes to fire, I'll be good to go! I have a few pt exercises to do daily along with continuing to work on my core and I can't run until Wednesday to allow the psoas to heal up and not reknot itself. Then we will see whether I need any more ART treatments of it and I might the get the green light to train again! TK said 2 weeks, tops! YES!

But now everything makes sense. Yes it does. My right glute has not been working for a long time. As Coach G says it's like I've been running on 5 cylinders instead of 6. No wonder I underperformed in the longer races. As my body became more tired, my poor overworked hammy and piriformis struggled to keep up and caused me to experience pain way early on in these races--like by mile 4! Also, I just didn't have the power in my legs to really give it what I had. It was so frustrating to know that my body was limiting me somehow and now I feel like I know what was up.

So, the moral of the story is look out because salty's fixing her engine and will be operating at full capacity in 2012!

Routine Procedures

2012-01-23T04:49:00.000-08:00

* Last Wednesday I saw Dr. TK and received the go-ahead to test out the butt. I ran 22 miles last week from Wednesday to Sunday. I felt sluggish and way out-of-shape on my first run back and each run got progressively better in that regard. Yesterday's run felt smooth and easy and that's the first time I could say that since I started running again.

That's the good news. The bad news is that my right leg still feels like doo-doo. It's tight and stiff in the whole upper hammy, butt, hip, lower back region. It isn't the acute pain I was experiencing right after my New Year's Eve injury and it's not that chronic spasmy weirdness I was feeling for the past 6 or so months either. It's different, but it's still there and annoying. It almost feels like how everything feels during marathon-taper times 10. I think it's healing and the healing process takes time. I just don't want to impede the healing process by running--whether that be too much, too soon or at all. I hate that it's such a gray injury and the best I can do is guess whether I'm ready to go back to training or not (of course TK can help me guess, but it's still just a guess).

But then I wonder if maybe something else is going on that TK and I haven't addressed. Maybe there is some other muscle other than the upper hammy, piriformis and gamellas that we've neglected. I go back on Thursday to assess.

In the meantime, I miss my training routine so much. I have been having trouble sleeping and my appetite and energy levels are all out of whack. I might be a little extra cranky too (sorry mrp and kids!) I know I'm being a whiner. But I suppose if it's ever ok to whine about not training it's on one's own running blog :)

When I can't do what I want to do it always helps me to do stuff that will help do those things later. That's a bit vague. Specifically, I am getting through this time when I can't really train to do things that will support my training in (the hopefully near) future:

- Creating a strength training routine. I have been really bad about all the ancillary stuff since the marathon and I'm sure that contributed to my break down. But over the past few weeks I have started to do whole body strengthening 2-3 times a week. Peanut is 3 now and he no longer needs me to attend his gym and swim or soccer classes. So I can drop him off for those and then hit the gym and do a strength circuit. It's been great! I can already feel a big difference, especially in my core. Score!

- Focusing on nutrition. My friend Liz has a new blog: check it out! She's always posting links to interesting recipes on facebook. I have a bad sweet tooth and have been experimenting with lots of healthy alternatives to the usual treats I like to indulge in. And I have been very careful to try to pack in as many nutrients as I can in every meal to aid in healing and to make it a habit now while I am not prone to eating every thing in sight as I am when running higher mileage. I have never been an unhealthy eater by any stretch, but there is always room for improvement!

- Spending time promoting my new team! All of us training with Coach G have formed a new racing team: Cleveland Elite Development. This is my baby and something I have wanted for a long time. I always wanted to be part of a close-knit training and racing team and now I am! I consider each teammate a good friend and I couldn't be happier to spend some of my free time working as Communications Director (I gave myself that title :) for the team.

- Spending time on my super-secret website project. I hate to be all mysterious, but this project is not ready for prime-time yet. I can say it is going to be a running site (naturally!) and will fill a much-neglected niche. I am looking super forward to getting it up and running. But it's been slow going. I have been trying to learn the technical side of creating and operating a website while being a bit tech-challenged. But I am stubborn. I want to try to learn as much as I can before waving the white flag and paying for a web designer.

- Spending time with friends (like the two EH hooligans in the photo). I've been spending lots of quality time with E that doesn't involve running! She's been popping over for dinner and just general hanging out quite often and it's been fun. Plus, the kids LOVE her! I also got out for a much needed girls night out. Of course #2 was wide awake at midnight when I got home because in her words, "no daddy. I want mommy!" While flattering it does make it a bit hard to get out and have some fun on my own. Even so, I still had a great time whooping it up with the girls celebrating NC's amazing trials performance!

- Changing my schedule. Finally, I am slowly adjusting to an early to bed, early to rise schedule. For a while now I have been going to bed around 11-11:30 and allowing the kids to pry me out of bed around 7:30. With middle of the night wake-ups and what-not it's often hard to wake up even at 7:30. Last night I was in bed by 10:30 and mrp woke me up at 6:30. I eventually want to be in bed by 10 and up at 5:30 to run on my easy days. I am happiest when I have some productive alone time before the kids wake up and before I start my day. Plus, a used to be able to rely in nap time to get in a solid 60-75 minute run, but now that peanut is 3 and in a big boy bed he has been waking up mid-run. He's good about watching me while playing, but it's not ideal. I'd rather just get it done uninterrupted in the morning and I'll be happier. And even better, I can sneak in a little nap when the kids nap!

So, it helps to feel like I'm doing lots to support my future training and general happiness during this bump in the road. That said, I'm looking forward to my next appointment with TK on Thursday. Hoping for some good news!

* My handsome big boy, peanut.

Live from the DL: My 2012 Goals!

2012-01-13T05:26:00.000-08:00

That (photo) was me yesterday. After working on the adhesions that have parked in my rear, the fab Dr. TK had me reposition myself just a touch and then ...

WHAMMO!

I felt a big jolt and heard a loud crack. That, my friends, is a pelvis adjustment. Apparently, running on a broken butt for 6 months can cause some weird stuff to happen to you, like one leg shrinking a full inch shorter than the other. Actually, it can cause overcompensating which can then cause your pelvis to tilt up an inch causing the leg on the tilted up side to appear shorter, but whose counting?

The good news was that the treatment of the muscles was much easier this time. They are definitely improving. The bad news is with the pelvis as jacked-up (real word) as it is no running until my next appointment on Wednesday. Since I've been full on injured I only ran 30 miles. (It's funny how one's "only" can become so out of whack with reality!) So in my world as of late, that really is not running much anyway. And 30 miles in pain isn't all that enjoyable either.

Just the night before I went in to see the good doc I met e-speed for a short run in the rain. She's coming back from an injury that was much more severe than mine. She also suggested I needed to really rest for a few days. She's so smart, that one! But more importantly we talked 2012 goals.

Yes, 2012 goals. These are what keep me from crying in my oatmeal as I sit on my broken butt. I still need to run them by coach, but I have a feeling he will like them. He's always getting on my case for not believing in myself enough and being too tentative. Well, not anymore! Ha!

Without further delay, my tentative goals for 2012:

5k: 17:xx

5 miles: 29:xx

half-marathon (and this is the crrrrrazy one): 1:19:xx

The first two make sense. I'm fairly close to those goals already. The last one is the really exciting one. Here's why I think it's possible.

My plan is to focus on the short races until the summer. Possibly focus on the track in the spring before hitting the road scene. I'd love to crush my favorite summer 5 miler and finally place in the $$ there (on my running bucket list!)

Then, I will switch focus to the half. No full this year. No siree. Just the half. And the beauty of the half is that I can run several and really work on my mental game in the process. No doubt if my fitness gets me to this goal it will be just enough to make it. I will need to bring my mental A game and I think it will take 2 or 3 races to get there.

Now, jumping from a super high 1:25 (1:25:59.59 to be exact!) PR to a 1:19:59.99 is admittedly a very big jump. But last year while nursing a baby\toddler and chasing after another I managed to pr in almost every distance. My longer races were a bit disappointing, but I think at least part of that was my broken butt holding me back. I think once I fix my butt, quit nursing in a few months (Apparently I am a crunchy granola hippie mom for still nursing my 18 month old) and get a quality summer of training in I can go for it with a straight face.

And the beauty of it is, even if I miss my targets I am sure to learn a lot and have a heckuva good time in the process!

Mommy's Not Running

2012-01-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

* So I am officially injured. I haven't actually been injured to the extent I could not run for more than a day or two for YEARS. It's been 6 years. The last time I was injured I wasn't even training for anything and hadn't really raced anything yet. It's tougher now that I have actual running goals and a team relying on me and running dates that make me happy. It's so hard to feel like all my hard work is swirling down the toilet bowl. It's hard not to feel like I need to surmount Mt. Everest just to get back to where I left off. It's hard to not be able to get out with my friends. These days running is so much a part of my life, it's so disorienting to not be able to do it.

At the same time, my injury strangely lined up with peanut getting very sick. He had a super high fever for three days. The pinnacle of his illness came on Wednesday night (Thursday morning). He woke up at 2 a.m. It was not surprising as his motrin should have worn off around 1:30 so his fever was probably spiking. I heard him open his door and then I heard him yell, "MOMMY! I'M BIG! I'M BIG!" Not sure why he kept saying that every time his medicine wore off, but he did. Maybe he was delerious? Anyway, I got up and as I was walking up the stairs I heard him gag and then he yelled, "I PUKED!" I wasn't surprised, except I knew his stomach was empty and the vomit was a dark blotch on the carpet. I took him in and gave him some more motrin. Mrp came up and saw the vomit and said, "Salty, that looks like blood." We got out a flashlight and checked it out. Sure enough, it was bright red and mucousy. "HOLY SH*T!" Mrp and I were freaked out and super worried. We quickly pow-wowed and decided mrp would take peanut to the ER and I would stay with #2 and bring her up if necessary in the morning. I was frantic. They left and I put every phone right next to me in bed. I couldn't sleep. I so wanted to check the internet for reasons for vomiting blood, but I knew better. I just waited.

Finally, I got a text. A bloody nose. I think my sigh of relief was audible through the whole neighborhood. He was ok! Apparently a bloody nose in a sleeping little boy with an empty irritated belly can cause bloody vomit. You learn something new everyday.

But I have to say it was nice to not have to worry about when I was going to squeeze in my tempo or weekend miles when my family needed me. It is possible to train at a high level and be a good mom. Of course it is! But, so often I feel conflicted about getting out for an hour or two and meeting the needs of my family and that's when everything is going hunky-dory in the household. It was nice to not even have to worry about any of that and just dedicate myself to helping my little peanut feel better during this rough week.

I really am trying to see the opportunity in this setback. Before I was sidelined, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by my training load and sometimes dreading runs. But this week when I could barely run a step, I felt myself really miss the opportunity to attempt my tough workouts. I also realized that sometimes I am overly rigid about getting my runs in and put too much pressure on myself to nail the training goals every single day. As a mom who takes my role as a mom very seriously I have to accept that I WILL miss workouts and goal paces, etc. if I am going to perform my primary job well. It's just a fact. I think accepting that can help with those conflicted feelings I so often feel. I also firmly believe--and this one is tough for a type-a person like me--that if I can achieve 90% of my training goals I will still be one heck of a runner and still see awesome race times. I can let go a little and still do just fine. In fact, it might be better and I won't run myself so ragged.

This injury is my body trying to tell me something. I am starting to understand what she's saying, but there's a lot more left to understand.

*My employers

My Broken Butt Sits on the DL (2,996.19*)

2012-01-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am writing my first blog post of the year from the DL. My piriformis that has been bugging me on and off for years became very very angry with me as I surged down a hill trying to catch up to my friends about mid-way through my long run. First, I shouldn't have been running in the low 7:1x's, especially on the very hilly course. Second, I had added a few extra miles during the week because I happened to notice I was really close to logging 3000 miles for the year. Third, I moved up my long run from Saturday to Sunday which I needed to do to log 3,000.09 for the year! Fourth, I didn't listen to mrp. He told me to stay with him instead of turning around to run with my friends since I told him I was pretty sure they'd be running faster than I needed to go. Ugh. As usual, he was right.

On top of all that, we had our first snow accumulation of the year on Tuesday right in the middle of my hard workout. I called it quits when I started slipping and sliding and I thought I did so before I hurt my butt, but I think that set the stage for Saturday. So, extra miles on slipper roads and running faster than necessary all lead to one thing: ouch. I'm lucky it's nothing worse. I feel like it is improving quickly. I still can't run at three days post-injury: I tried today, but it pulls so much I can't open my stride past-shuffle. I have an appointment with the fabulous TK, ART Doctor extraordinaire on Friday so I just plan to elliptical (if it doesn't hurt) until then. Oh well. I haven't been on the sidelines due to injury in a loooooong time, so I can ride it out. We'll see how I'm doing by this weekend, though!

In the meantime, I am busy getting myself ready to take on 2012. I have a lot of exciting things in the works. Stay tuned!

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

*I managed 2,996.19 miles with my 11.1 on Saturday (2 of which consisted of shivering and walking\shuffling in pain, but luckily with good friends and mrp by my side!) I am not upset as 3000 was never a goal of mine,it just so happened I was close by year's end. It's not worth hurting to get there. Plus, 2,996 and my biggest mileage year ever ain't bad for a mother of two toddlers!

Holiday Black Hole

2011-12-19T04:38:00.000-08:00

It's been eons since I've posted. Oopsy. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote up in here:

* I've been working on something I've been wanting to do for years now. I'm not ready to let the cat out of the bag, but I definitely need to siphon the tiny bit of time and energy I direct to this blog to that project. Hence, I won't be posting much around here, me thinks.

* Oh, and that whole holiday thing. It seemed to sneak up on us faster this year!

On the running front...

* I ran a little 5 mile p.r. at the Turkey Trot.

* I paced a good friend to a nice juicy 5k p.r. instead of going for one myself.

* I ran a 70 mile week, then a 75 mile week.

* I got sick ... AGAIN.

It's been tough to get the miles in. I'm really not used to running a lot this time of year. I'm not going to lie. Every week when I open my email from Coach I think he might be smoking something. 13 mile brisk-paced Saturday runs! 16 mile long runs... already! 10 mile tempos! Plus a fartlek or trackish workout! YIKES! I am used to coasting along and taking it easy. Not this year.

It hasn't been easy. Since I was sick at the beginning of this 10 week training block I struggled to just get the 60-65 miles in he wanted me to do for the early weeks. After Thanksgiving, though, I decided to put hitting my mileage goals as the first priority and hitting workout paces the second. That's helped take some of the pressure off.

I've decided I am just going to do my best and attempt to meet the goals for the week, but not worry about it if I can't. And there always seems to be one day when I can't. That day is typically the tempo workout. I was sick for the first one. Then I ran a pretty solid 6:48 pace for 8 (when the goal was 6:45). The next week I was supposed to do a 10 mile tempo with 8 @ 6:45 and 2@ 6:35. I had to do it super early and it was insanely windy. I stopped looking at my watch when I started to see 7:xx. I got the 9th mile down to 6:45 (running out of the wind, no less) and bagged it when I needed to head back into the wind to get back to the car. This past week I woke up on tempo day sick as a dog so I didn't even run at all, let alone attempt the 10 @ 6:45 on tap.

I told Coach I thought I might need to back off for a few weeks. Here's what he said:

Salty,

You're starting to want to be in that comfort zone again. When you're sick I want you to do what ever it takes to get well (more rest ,missing workouts, etc). But to back off on the intensity of your training at this time is not a good idea mainly because I know you have more ability than you think and the intensity is based on what I know you can handle. This is new territory for you to be training like this at this time of the year. Also each phase builds for the next and to back off is not going to make the next easier more the opposite. Every workout is not going to feel great that only happens if you under perform or as when we started and I intentionally had you train in your comfort zone. I'm not looking for you to hit every workout exactly right now. Trust me this work will lead to some outstanding performances.

Coach

He's totally right. I might not hit the targets, but I'm going to continue to try. I think I get caught up in maintaining a pretty training log of perfectly executed workouts and start worrying when things get a little sloppy; I struggle to hit the paces or need to bag a run, etc. I'm not supposed to feel on top of the world right now. Time to trust the man and the plan!

Photo: This is what happens when you let a 3 year-old boy (obsessed with Mighty Machine videos--he is doing his rendition of the Mighty Machines theme song here) pick out a Christmas tree the week before Christmas. I'm not complaining, though. Less tree means less work for me!

Funky Turkey

2011-11-23T12:16:00.001-08:00

I started a post earlier in the week about the funk I've been feeling in the last few weeks, but now with Thanksgiving staring at us tomorrow that funk just seems silly. I realize how normal it is to feel a little unspeedy, a little chubby after gaining a couple of post-marathon happy pounds, and a little lonely on the run when I'm stuck on the treadmill and not running with my friends as much as I did during the summer.

And more than that I feel incredibly grateful for my wonderful silly, thoughtful and hardworking handsome husband and my incredibly adorable healthy children. For the cherry on top of that I am so thankful to be a healthy strong woman capable of running as much and as fast as I do. It's easy to focus on those minuscule things I don't have, like faster prs, but my goodness in the grand scheme of things I've got a great life and I wouldn't change a thing!

So tomorrow I am going to leave my watch at home and bask in the Turkey Trot experience--running through my favorite city with some of my favorite people and feeling so lucky to be able to do it. Happy Thanksgiving!

Flex Time

2011-11-14T12:41:00.000-08:00

I am a weirdo. Half of me is a big unorganized mess. The other half of me is a very rigid person who hates to deviate from her schedule. Mrp often laughs at the blaring contradiction that is me. Before the marathon I would say I became very ocd about my training schedule and did everything I had to do to ensure I adhered to it to a T. Now that I am back to base training and our whole world is recovering from marathon training, a summer of farming and farmers marketing, etc. I need to loosen up about training.

Easier said than done! Now that I am mostly a SAHM, my running feels like my only lifeline to order in my chaotic life. Sometimes I feel like if I let go a little on the running then everything else will fall apart too. It needn't be so, of course. I get that. I realize I would be wise to add a little more order and rigidity to my non-running life and to let go a little in my running life. I'm trying.

I received orders from Coach last weekend that for my third week of running post-marathon I was supposed to run 65-70 miles. "Ha!" I thought. "I'll be happy to log 60." I decided that I was not yet ready to give up my one off day a week I've been enjoying since a month before the marathon and with the shorter days and busy schedule doubles were out of the question. So I would be very happy to get in 60 in 6 days. Wow. Look at me loosen up!

Cue virus.

By the end of last week I was knocked down by a nasty cold. Sure, it only cost me 2 miles of my long run so I only got in 58 miles for the week. But it's cutting into this week too. I am working hard not to sweat it. I'm probably not going to get in 65-70 this week either and this time I might also not get in all the workouts I'm supposed to do.

Instead of panicking I'm remembering the point of the base cycle. It's a period of renewal. Recover from the previous cycle and rebuild strength and endurance for the next. Breaking myself down to a nub is not in keeping with those goals. So, I am readjusting my expectations and taking it one day at a time. I'll do my best. I might not be able to get in that speed workout on Tuesday, but by Friday I can probably squeeze it in. And as hard as it is to believe sometimes, I'll be better for it.

Crustacean

2011-11-01T11:34:00.001-07:00

After the marathon I took 6 days off and when I say off I mean OFF. I did not run one step nor did I do any formal exercising of any stripe. I only ran on Sunday because it was so beautiful out and peanut and I were on our own for a couple of hours. We decided we couldn't pass up a run\ride through the neighborhood. The first run back is always a little crusty, but it wasn't too bad all things considered.

Then last week I ran 39 miles total. I didn't wear a watch at all the first few runs back, but then I was stuck on the treadmill one day and threw in 2.5 @ 7:00 pace just because I was bored and was curious how it would feel--not bad! Then on Saturday I met the girlfriends for our annual Halloween pancake run (run followed by breakfast!). I got there a little early and noticed DD and CV were finishing up their workout so I jogged up to meet them and I ended up warming up for the easy trail run with a 6:45, which didn't feel bad at all. But them WHAM! On Sunday I headed out on a gorgeous afternoon and slogged my way through 10 @ 7:50 pace, which felt like 10 @ 7:00! It wasn't pretty, but it's done.

This week I'm getting back into the swing of things, building my base back up. I have 55-60 miles with 2 workouts and 2 longer runs. The workouts are fairly cake, at least they would be pre-marathon. But, I'm expecting my tempo, which is 20 seconds per mile slower than pre-marathon tempos, to feel pretty much the same as a pre-marathon tempo. I am going to err on the side of lesser miles and even running my runs a little slower rather than forcing the pace if need be. I believe these few weeks after a marathon, even one that was jogged in more or less, are the weeks that can make or break your next season. If I don't fully recover I'm cruising for injury or burnout. I'd rather lay low through the end of the year than enter 2012 feeling like crusty crud.

So that, my friends, is my completely unglamorous post-marathon running life.

Patience and Faith

2011-10-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

Patience and faith. Yesterday morning I sent my usual training week summary to Coach. I summed up my feelings about the marathon: "I am still disappointed, but enjoying the process of learning patience and faith." I hit send, but this idea, learning patience and faith, remained with me.

It's been seven months since I started training with Coach G. I've worked harder than I've ever worked before. I've always known that progress in running does not happen overnight, but pretty early on I was rockin' faster tempos and track workouts that I ever had. Yet, race after race after race (I could go on!) I've fallen short of my own expectations. It is immensely frustrating to not breakthrough after attempt after attempt. I feel like I rock it in training and then just run within a couple of seconds of my p.r. in almost every race. I can't seem to make the leap in my race performances.

I have weathered these disappointments by assuring myself the training just needs to soak in. Plug along, be consistent and the race results will follow. But they haven't. The marathon was somewhat easier to swallow just because I've experienced similar disappointment all throughout this training cycle.

Sometimes I wonder if there is something about me that will keep me stuck at the 52 VDOT, or whatever Jack Daniels says I am, forever! Coach G always says, "you don't need me to get faster. If you just want to get faster you can do that on your own." "Oh really?" I often wonder to myself in response.

Despite a lot of doubts, I still have faith. Besides the disappointments I've had a couple of signs that a big breakthrough is just a matter of time. In addition to the killer workouts, of the 2 5ks I've run this season, they were both substantially faster than my previous p.r. (26 and 34 seconds faster). And I ran 6:18 pace for 7.9 rolling miles for my Akron Marathon relay leg.

After the marathon, I found solace in believing I can log some decent prs in the 5 mile and the 5k before the end of the year. It's hard to believe that after so many disappointments. But I really do have faith in Coach G, the idea that consistent hard work will pay off, and of course my own abilities. It's hard to actually admit that through those doubting feelings, but I really do.

Patience and faith. Somehow we began potty training peanut the week before the marathon. Potty training is one of those daunting tasks of parenting. For me anyway, it seems like this insurmountable mountain of wet pants. But everyday, despite the occasional peeing of the pants or crying fit about not wanting to use the potty, there are glimmers of hope that he will actually be a fully functioning potty user very soon. "I am so proud of you, peanut!" "I am proud of me, too, mommy!" I do need to go buy some more underpants, unless I want to do 17 loads of laundry each week!

#2 is adorable and very independent. She just brings so much joy to all of us. But the one thing that is driving me absolutely crazy is that the girl WILL NOT WALK! She will be 16 months in just a few short days, yet refuses to take a step. She can dance standing up and not holding on to anything. She can climb on anything, including up and down the stairs. Yet, she will crawl any time she needs to go somewhere. If her knees hurt her, she bear crawls! It's at once hilarious and exasperating. After innumerable times seeing her stand and feeling sure this is the moment she will take her first step, I gave up that expectation. Now she stands and I know it is a matter of moments before she drops to her knees to crawl to her target. Although it seems like it will never happen. She will walk. It's just a matter of time. I have faith.

Sunshine

2011-10-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

I feel like I need to write a real race report for myself so I don't forget how awesome this experience was and to make sure I've learned every lesson this race tried to teach me. So, bear with me (all 6 readers of my blog), as I delve into the marathon minutia!

Four years ago, I trained my tush off for my third marathon and second Columbus. I whipped myself from 3:25 to low 3:00 shape in a year. But one thing I didn't train was my head. I toed the line a mental case and ended up losing 5 minutes over the last 7 miles with a side stitch, which I now know was due to anxiety and a total inability to roll with the punches.

I knew if I wanted to make a serious attempt at a sub-3 marathon that I had to not only get into better physical shape, I needed to work on mental training as well. I'm certainly a work in progress and I am neither the physically fastest or most mentally proficient racer, but I've vastly improved myself over the last few months. And despite lots of life stress, which is inevitable while raising 2 toddlers and generally living an adult life, I managed to line up pretty relaxed and focused on Sunday. I had a goal and I was confident, yet I was detached from the result and ready to accept whatever the day had in store for me. I was ready to do everything I could do to reach the goal, but I was also ready to roll with the punches and do my best to work with what the race gave me. I didn't just say all this. I really worked hard to actually get to that place.

So after a week of scrambling to finish up a little lawyerly work and get mrp set up for an easy weekend of just him and the kiddos, I hopped into NC's car and we were off. NC took great care of me, even giving me a bottle of her magic pre-race elixir: pedialyte. It was kind of gross tasting, but if it helped her run a 2:43, maybe it would help run a 2:58!

We arrived in Columbus and NC dropped me off for E-speed's birthday lunch. It was great to spend some time celebrating E's 30th. We had some fun, loaded up the carbs and then I headed back to the hotel with E to prepare our water bottles. E had access to all the elite offerings in the race, including her own bottles at miles 6, 12 and 18. We decorated them with her special zebra, oops I mean white tiger, tape and other accoutrement and taping two gels to each. How honored was I that she wanted to run a marathon with little ol' me to celebrate her big 3-0?!!!

Before dinner, we went to my hotel to check-in. I was rooming with NC and BH and those sweethearts had two big signs for me hanging on the wall when I arrived. I felt so loved. (Here's a little aside. Bear with me some more!) When I came back to Cleveland after finishing up my degree in NYC I had mrp and that's about it. All my friends had moved away or were lost after my divorce (if you don't know about that, well now you do!) Slowly, slowly I made new friends through running and now five years later I feel so loved and surrounded by awesome supportive friends. It means the world to me to have that network and I love them sooooo much! Ok, cheesy (but necessary!) tangent over.

We went to dinner and had the usual blast--not sure I've laughed that much in a 24 hour period in a long time! E was freaking me out ordering beer and dessert. I was being very cautious about what I ate, and looking back I might have underdid it a bit. We didn't stay too long. I needed to run out and take peanut's good night phone call and head back to the hotel to get into some jammies and veg.

NC and BH were such accommodating roomies. They gave me some quiet time so I could recenter after a busy overstimulating day. They BOTH massaged my shoulders and back to help me relax. Did I mention I love them?

I managed to fall asleep pretty quick and had a good night's sleep. I didn't feel too bad when the 4:30 alarm rang. BH was running the half so she needed to start eating and prepping too. NC slept in through it all. BH went down to the lobby to get some food and I took that time to relax and visualize a strong race. I felt ready to rock it!

NC woke up and Espeed came to our room to pick me up around 5:45. We left around 6:15 to get to the elite prep area to drop of our bottles and warm-up. In all we jogged about mile together and did some light drills and strides. I had been feeling stitchy on and off over the week preceding the race and could feel the stitchiness during the strides. Part of me was really worried about blowing up because of a stitch for the second straight Columbus, but I knew it just depended on how much power I gave it. If I fought it, it would take over. If I just yielded to it and rolled with it, it would not impact my ability to meet my goal.

We lined up next to JS (who was planning to meet us around mile 20!) and a couple of other pals. The national anthem played. I was excited, yet pretty relaxed. Then the gun and FIREWORKS!!! Awesome! I felt good, but within feet of starting I was stitchy. I worked on all my techniques to ignore it. It took 7 long miles, but it finally went away. In the meantime, we were rolling along between 6:45 and 6:55 (according to E. I wasn't paying attention to my watch.) I was doing well at the water stops and generally feeling pretty decent. Somewhere after the 10k we met up with a youngster running her first marathon. She wanted to roll sub-3 so we invited her along with us. She stayed with us until the half. In retrospect I think she distracted me a bit. I didn't want to waste energy talking too much, but she and E chatted a bit and I think to me from the outside it made me feel like I was working harder than they were and worried me a little.

We came out of a neighborhood around mile 8 or so and it was a bit more work as it was a little uphill and then we turned and it was very windy for a stretch. But none of this really bothered me. We turned up High St. and it looks fairly daunting with long uphill stretched, but that didn't really bother me either. We came through the half in 1:29:31, which was actually a little slower than I wanted to be. I thought we'd be closer to 1:29:00, but that didn't really bother me. I did feel like E and the girl were getting away from me a bit at times and this got me down a little bit. Right around the half I declared, "I need sunshine up my @$$ right now!" Ha! When that didn't work, I decided to tell E we needed to let the girl go. We did right after the half. In my head, it seemed like she was rocking it and I was maybe, just maybe starting to struggle.

Even so, I was intent on staying positive and taking it one mile at a time. Mile 14 might be tough, but mile 15 could be better. Or miles 14-18 could suck and I could rally at mile 19. Who knows and I was not going to predict the future. I was living in the moment, as I had worked hard for all those weeks to do. Mile 15 was our first mile over 7:00 pace and E declared it would be our only one. I tried not to think too hard about that pronouncement, but I wanted to make it to 16 as close to on-pace as I could knowing I had run 16 @ 6:47 pace just a few weeks before the race. We made it to 16. Ok, from 16 the goal was to get to 18 for the bottle and because 18 meant I only had the same distance to go as the distance I ran in the Akron Marathon relay. Unfortunately, by 18 I was toast. I don't know when exactly it happened or really remember many of the details, but suddenly I felt really dizzy and disoriented. I stopped when we got our bottle. E got me moving again. I could still p.r. I knew I was in big trouble when I saw our mile 20 split on the clock. I wanted to be under 2:17. The clock said 2:20:45 or something like that. Oh boy. That's a lot of lost time in such few miles.

I had a little hope when we spotted a woman we knew was going for the OTQ. We caught up to her pretty quickly and it helped take my mind of my own agony to console her. We kept going and I got pretty disheartened that JS wasn't at the 20 mile marker. My spirits really dropped. I had very little to look forward to anymore and he was it! Poor guy! We did see his girlfriend JM and NC. I felt so bad to slog on by, obviously falling way short of what everyone had hoped for me. We finally spotted JS at mile 21. That was a long mile! He jumped in and worked hard to keep my spirits up. No one was going to let me quit! Honestly, I wasn't going to let me quit either. I am so glad I didn't!

I really don't remember much from there except the waves of sobbing and having fun and nausea and full body cramps. I remember stopping and then E pulling me along and JS imploring me to keep going so I wouldn't cramp up. I remember the 3:05 group whizzing by me along with all hope of pr'ing and then club-mates who are much slower than me usually passing me one after the other. I do remember passing the girl who we let go around the half. That was a surprise to me, but E said she knew the girl was going to blow-up.

All through the last few miles E and JS tried to keep me hopeful that I could pr, but I saw the clock at mile 25. It said I had 8:00 to run 1.2 to get to 3:10. I knew I couldn't do that in the state I was in. Sad. I tried to pick it up several times over the last few miles, but each time I was met with a big f.u. from the body--cramping, nausea, dizziness. I was better to just slog and survive.

Finally I saw the turn to the finish. It's less than 400 meters and all downhill. JS said, GO! Open it up! You can do it! So, I turned the corner and despite seeing the time well over my p.r. I did "sprint" it in with E by my side. As we approached the finish line, I grabbed her hand and we crossed it side-by-side with our hands held high in triumph. And then we hugged, apparently. I don't remember that.

The next thing I remember is seeing stars with my face in the jacket of a race official insisting I did not need to go to medical. And then after that I remember being in a bathroom and then in a nice warm room hanging with JS. E got me into the elite finish area. And that sweet thing went off on an epic hunt for my gear bag.

We were in that room for a long time. I snacked a little. I slowly revived and felt human again. The amazing thing was that I didn't feel all that bad emotionally. I was definitely depleted, but I wasn't sad. There was nothing during the race that I could change. I did everything I could control right. I bonked. That means I either did not eat enough or did not do enough training to teach my body to burn fat efficiently. When I went back to my hotel room I noticed my breakfast was half eaten. I doubt an extra 100 calories would have made that much difference.

I really believe that Coach G's training focused on strength, aerobic fitness and speed. These are all very important, but the thing we couldn't focus on while also focusing on all those things was training the metabolic systems to handle the marathon at the aerobic pace I was capable of. With the intensity of my training load, doing very many long runs over 18 was not really possible without the huge risk of breakdown. So, oh well.

As I've said all along, this race was just a stepping stone. I learned a lot and I had an absolute blast training for it and racing it. I am a little disappointed, sure. But I know it's a step in the right direction even if the final time suggests otherwise.

The 411 on the 3:11

2011-10-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I am still pretty tired so this will be short. I ended up running a 3:11:42. I ran a 1:29:31 first half and then a 1:42:11 second half. Ouch! Basically, I met the marathon wall I have always been afraid of. There's more to it than this, but basically I was running along at 6:50 pace through the half and then started to feel the tiniest bit shaky about things and then fell apart right around 17. I went from 6:50 to 8:00-plus in a matter of feet. I felt nauseous, woozy, heavy, crampy, crazy and suddenly I went from ready to battle whatever came my way to at least pr to surviving to the finish, whatever that took. It was heartbreaking to watch time slip away. Going into this race, pr'ing was not even a question. My pr is soft to begin with, so I figured worst case scenario I'd at least sneak in under 3:10. Ha! Shows what I know!

When you bonk or meet that wall, there is nothing you can do. There is no willing yourself to go faster. There is a pace at which you can keep moving and any faster and it feels like you will totally lose it. Everything came in waves. I'd sob and then rally and want to have fun. I'd start whooping it up and then I'd feel nauseous and get waves of full-body cramping. I must have looked like a drunk!

I knew going into this race that the moderate mileage, high intensity training Coach G has me on is a high risk, high reward kind of training. I only ran two 20 milers and I'm sure that has a lot to do with what happened. There could be a hormonal factor: I had my period and I'm still nursing #2 4-5 times a day. I was stressed the week leading up to the race trying to get ready to leave for the weekend--the first time I've left the kids in 3 years! And even with everything going my way I know I was on the bubble for sub-3.

So who knows why exactly I blew up. But it's always a risk. I went for an aggressive goal. I met the wall and kept at it. I am now never going to be afraid of blowing up again. It sucks, but it's survivable. You recover, you head back out and try again.

The best thing about the race, and the reason #5 will always top my list of best marathons is that I had the best group of supporters ever! Not only did the ever fabulous e-speed run with me from the start line and hook me up with access to the elite runner benefits, but NC and BH roomed with me, drove me to and from Columbus and kept me calm. They made me rad signs and gave me back rubs. Mrp kept the family happy and sacrificed a weekend during the market season for me and gave me pointers and pep talks all along the way. I am one lucky lady.

So, I am not broody this time after not meeting my goal. I am fired up and ready to go out hard and make that breakthrough at the next race. See you at the Turkey Trot!

The Big Win

2011-10-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

Well, it's time to wind down all the prepping and turn off the brain until race morning. I've worked really hard both mentally and physically for this one. I am feeling excited, confident and ready to get it on! No matter what the clock says I know it's going to be a fun weekend.

I can't go into race weekend without expressing how grateful I am to have had the past months to run and train again. After two back to back pregnancies and the crazy hectic home life that comes with two toddlers (we'll say toddlers even though one still refuses to walk at 15.5 months!), I am so lucky to have been able to put in some quality training. I can't thank mrp enough for helping me scrape together the time to get it done. I love him so much and every time I lace up my shoes I can't help but remember how much joy he has brought to my life just because he's himself and because he introduced me to the world of competitive running. What a twofor that was!

I am also so happy to have experienced a super fun summer of training with Coach G! He has pushed me harder than I could have ever pushed myself. And I certainly can't forget all my great pals and all the fun miles we put in together. I was able to get back up to speed to keep up with my old pals like CV, E-Speed and NC and I made all kinds of new running buddies too. I feel like I need to particularly thank MZ, my high school and law school classmate who met me in the dark every weekend over the winter and occasionally this summer. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today without any of them!

Running this past year has been my exercise, me-time, destresser, social hour, party time, etc. It keeps me healthy, sane, social and balanced. Peanut is now old enough to get excited about mommy and daddy running and loves to go running himself. To share the joy of running with my family is just beyond awesome. Did I mention how lucky I feel?

And this weekend I get to celebrate great friends' birthdays and a great marathon. E is planning to run at least most of the race with me and I have a bazillion friends amped up to cheer for me all along the course. And then I get to go home and share the experience with my family. No matter what the clock says, I know it'll be a big win for me. I'm a cheeseball, I know, but I worked hard to get to this point of gratefulness and satisfaction. I ain't going back!

On the Range

2011-10-06T05:34:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I had one of those amazing runs. I met the ever-fab e-speed at a local rails-to-trails early on the cold blustery morning--thankfully the rain held off for most of the run! The goal was 16 @ 6:50-6:55, and we figured since there was a 5 mile race on that particular path it would be a bit more fun to get the miles in if we broke them up by jumping in the race at some point. So, we registered early and than ran a little over 8 before the race. We started off with a 7:10 and then hovered right around 6:50. Then we jumped in the race and averaged 6:40 or so for those 5 and then hit the trail for a little less than 3. The first was a on the uphill rolling section of the path and was 6:55, but then we rolled it down finishing at 6:37 pace and happy with an overall average of 6:47-6:48 pace.

In the past I've had a good epic workout here or there, but they felt more forced and I was wrecked after them. This time I felt smooth and relaxed throughout the whole thing and felt fine since. While I won't say this means 6:47 pace is going to be cake on race day. It does mean that I have become much stronger than I have ever been over the last 6 months of training.

With that in mind I have decided to articulate my goal, even though that is risky of course. I know at this point I am really happy with my fitness and confident not only in my ability to run a good race, but in my ability to move on if things don't go as well as I hope. I have decided to have a goal range: 2:57 - 3:03. I will be happy to run anywhere south of 7:00 pace and I am really confident that I can do better than that if I turn off the brain, put left foot in front of right and relax.

I am a work in progress and this race is a stepping stone. It's quite a relief to feel this way about a marathon for a change, rather than that it's the be-all-end-all of my running life. I am looking very forward to a weekend away to celebrate friendship and running--two of the things that make me happiest! And if I can bring back a big fat p.r. souvenir to share with mrp and the kids, well it will be that much nicer!

The Tale of Two Workouts

2011-09-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last night was beautiful at the track. It was 70 with just the slightest of breezes and the sky was full of those cool silvery fall clouds. On tap was an up and down 5k ladder. I like ladders. The plan was to do 400; 800; 1200; 1600; 1200; 800; 400 @ 5k pace with half-time rest in between each rep. Since NC is just off her break post-Philly half (1:16:3x!) she joined me. I haven't run a workout with her in forever, so it was nice!

My goal pace was 5:50 pace or 87-88 per 400. I do not look at my watch on the track any more unless I'm on my own and then I only look at the 400. Tonight I didn't look at all, just ran. NC called out the 200 splits and coach called out the 400 splits. I just felt the pace. The first rep felt kind of harder than I would have liked and I was a little nervous that the rest of the workout was going to suuuuck. Well, when we rolled through the 400 in 84 I felt better. Way too fast, especially for the first one which always feels the crustiest.

I practiced focusing and clearing my head: left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. When a junky thoughts would enter my brain I pushed it out with left foot, right foot. When I was worried about the 1200's or the (eek) 1600, I just said left foot, right foot. One lap at a time, doll-face!

The first 800 felt much easier than the 400. We rolled through right on in 2:55. The best part was the 200's were in 43.5ish range so we were consistent the whole way. The first 1200 was 1 second slow in 4:23. But we were again even paced the whole way so I wasn't worried about it one bit. Even if I looked at my watch and realized we might be 1 second slow I don't like to push too much on the early reps. I like to just let it flow. I don't sweat 1 second and I don't think it's worth pushing crazy on the last 100 to get 1 second early in a workout. Just my thing, I guess.

Then the 1600. Gulp! I almost never hit 1600's in workouts. I was nervous, but pushed the nerves aside and went back to my commitment to take it one lap at a time. We were off. NC and I were joking about something on the first lap and we came through in 89. Oops! I didn't worry about it. We picked it up a little. 800 in 2:56. We stayed focused and ran right on with a 5:50 for the mile. Yee-haw!

And then, the best part of the ladder. It's all down hill from there. After nailing the 1600 I know I have the workout in the bag. 4:20; 2:49; 79! Take that track!

When I was entering this workout into my log I remembered doing it before. I checked it out and saw we did it in the beginning of July. Back then coach was having me run with E-speed. Our goal pace was 5:44 or 86 per lap! Eek. The funny thing is that I ran similar paces, just reverse: 83; 2:49; 4:16; 5:53; 4:21; 2:51; 79. I left the July workout feeling like I biffed it a little. I remember bending over after each rep feeling awful and watching everyone leave me in their dust after the first 1200.

Last night I felt comfortable on each and every rep (save for the first). I felt smooth and never had that I'm-going-to-die feeling. NC even commented that I ran that 5:50 so effortlessly that there's no way it's 5k pace (which would be nice, but I'm perfectly happy with 5:50 now too!) I felt like I nailed the workout and left happy and not in pain! Back in July when I ran the first workout I was struggling with my butt injury and blowing workouts left and right. I was running too fast on the track and I was overtraining. It's amazing what a mere 1.5 seconds per lap can do!

Because I Like It!

2011-09-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

I really feel like I've turned a mental corner. I now realize how much I love training and racing. I love pushing my body, striving and pushing on day-to-day. I also have so many awesome friends to run with and share the joy I feel about running. As usual, it's very duh, but I don't care what times I run. I don't do this for race times. I do this because I enjoy it. If someone told me I could never run a sub-3 marathon or never run a B Standard OTQ'er, I would still do this. I am a better happier person because of running and not because I run x, y or z time in a race!

That being said, I have generally been a much happier and healthier runner lately. I have been able to deviate from the schedule, pull the plug to back off and recover when I needed to. I have enjoyed my workouts so much more and even races.

Ah yes. Races. I did one of those this weekend. It was the dreaded three-week-out-super-double-workout-weekend. I ran 12 miles including the 7.9 mile leg of the Akron Marathon relay on Saturday and then 18 @ 7:22 pace on Sunday. Surprisingly both runs were really good for me. I managed to run 6:18 pace for the 7.9 miles (which were way hillier than I remembered from the speed-bumps and post-pregnancy relays). I felt amazing. My splits reflect the terrain: 6:14; 6:09; 6:22; 6:35; 6:25; 6:19; 6:07; 6:10 pace for the last .9. I wish one of these days I felt that good on a fast course so I could log a big confidence boosting p.r., but this is the same pace as my 10k p.r. and close to my 5 mile p.r. which were both run on faster courses so I can't complain!

The last few long runs have been rough. Maybe it's because I am helping mrp at the farmers market on Saturdays and then trying to do a harder run in the afternoon and then a long run early on Sunday. Not sure. But today's long run felt pretty awesome, save for a hungry\dizzy spell around mile 12, which can be chalked up to not eating enough in between runs.

Anyway, I survived and I feel very ready to take on the marathon once again. And this time I'm really going to have some fun!