Late Bloomer

Posts I'm Passionate About, 18 March 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 18:24:00 +0000

Every week, one of the bloggers I follow, Alexis Grant at The Traveling Writer, presents her readers with a list of great posts she’s come across that week and links so we can read them for ourselves. I just love these because I always find at least one or two that I really enjoy.

Recently I’ve come across so many fantastic, inspirational pieces that now I totally understand why Alexis feels the need to share her faves. So, here is my current list of Posts I’m Passionate About. I hope you'll find something here that resonates with you.

In her Everyday Bright blog, Jennifer Gresham suggests that you use envy to guide you toward what you should do or who you should be.

Niall Doherty talks about the extraordinary generosity of strangers and how this has made Iran one of the highlights of his current trip around the world from his Disrupting the Rabblement blog. (He also introduces this post with a video in his sexy, Irish accent!)

Jeff Goins offers 3 simple (but powerful) steps to help you make decisions when you feel completely stuck in his blog, Jeff Goins, Writer.

Enjoy and let me know what you think of these!

Body Clearly Not a “Favorite”

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 23:14:00 +0000

I noticed something revealing and scary yesterday as I looked at my bookmarked Favorites online: I had to scroll more than halfway down a very long list to get to my folder of health-related sites. It was much farther down than my hair salon site (why do I need a link to that?), my Mapquest link (that I haven’t used since I got a GPS for my car), and a host of other sites I can’t even remember bookmarking. This was revealing because it’s a total metaphor for how low a priority I’ve made my health. It was scary because, at 47, I’m too old to have this attitude.

Yes, I eat like a teenager. No, I’ve never been an especially active person. Yes, over the last year or so, I’ve definitely noticed this behavior catching up with me in the form of excess weight and a host of odd aches and pains. The good news is I’m finally starting to make an effort to do better. Why now? As with most things in my life, it’s because when the student is ready, the teacher is there…and recently both have been showing up for class.

This afternoon, I had just finished unpacking my bag full of healthy foods from Trader Joe’s and was starting to get ready for my first yoga class in over a year, when I caught Dr. Oz sharing recipes on his show for healthy and tasty snacks that will also help improve metabolism and energy. Hello! Class is in session!

I know I have a long way to go—and I’m not looking forward to how sore I’m pretty sure my newly-returned-to-yoga body will be tomorrow—but I have moved my Health folder much higher up on my list of Favorites. Now it’s just below the link to rental apartments in Paris.

Hey, I have to have somewhere amazing to take my new and improved body!

Thinking Is Overrated

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 23:15:00 +0000

We start out with the best intentions—to get healthy, be more productive, work smarter—but after the first time or two of working toward our goals, we poop out. You’ve been there, right? You have to get off the couch and go for a run, or you have to get out of your cozy bed to start the day, or it’s time to clean your house…but you don’t want to. So, what’s the answer?

Don’t think. Just do.

Don’t think about all the other things you could be doing instead of running, like napping, vegging, eating, or just not running. Don’t think about how warm and snuggly you are beneath your blankets and how cold you know it is outside of them. Don’t start thinking of ways you can make your house look like it’s clean without actually cleaning it.

Don’t think. Just do.

If you think about the options, of course you’ll want to do them instead because they’re a) easier, b) more fun, c) less work, or d) all of the above. This could keep you inactive forever. Once you’re in motion though, you put yourself in a completely different space, and all you can think about is how great the sun feels on your face, how wonderful that first cup of coffee is, and how much less self-conscious you are entertaining guests in a clean house. So, if the real issue is starting…

Don’t think (about starting). Just do.

It would be great if the benefits of exercise and fresh air, a leisurely morning to prepare for the day ahead, and a clean house were enough to motivate you to do what you know you should. I’ll admit that, after I’ve done these deeds, I do feel accomplished and productive. But that’s after the fact, and to get to the “after” you have to go through the “now.”

Part of the problem for me is that these kinds of activities are things I know I “should” be doing. Maybe it’s the rebel in me, but too often I feel the desire to push back when it comes to the “should”s in my life. That feeling comes from a purely mental state though. My body doesn’t get sucked into the “should” my mind has attached to these tasks. It just does them. So, let it. Don’t cogitate, procrastinate, prioritize, or justify.

Don’t think. Just do.

I’m living proof that this strategy works. So far, it’s helped me accomplish my New Year’s goals of writing every day and exercising. I haven’t tried it yet to help me clean my house because, to be perfectly honest, the only time I really clean is when I have people coming over. But maybe that’s an issue that needs an attitude adjustment of a different kind.

What helpful tips can you share to help us accomplish our goals, feel more motivated, or just get out of bed?

Ask an Offensive Question…

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:40:00 +0000

There are some questions that people should never ask perfect strangers. I was asked one of those questions today.

In the middle of a discussion about whether we were enjoying the current weather, the clerk checking my groceries asked, “Have you gone through menopause yet?”

Highly inappropriate, right?

Though it didn’t really bother me that she was asking a much-too-personal question given our “relationship,” I was completely insulted by the assumption she was making about my age. It left me feeling old and, worse, feeling like I looked old.

Am I old enough to have gone through menopause?

Maybe at the absolute youngest end of the spectrum, but that’s not the point. She was making an assumption based purely on my appearance. A very bad idea for exactly the same reason you should never ask someone you don’t know if they’re pregnant. In either situation, if you’re wrong you’re probably going to offend the person by basically telling them they look at least 50 years old (in the former situation) or fat enough to be carrying a child (in the latter). And if you’re right…well, take those guesstimating skills to The Price Is Right because nobody here is much impressed with them!

I was initially surprised by the woman’s question. As I made my way to my car, I felt hurt. By the time I got home, I headed straight for my computer to vent my overwhelming anger. Fortunately, as with all emotional pieces of writing I plan to make public, I waited several hours—and made several revision passes—before posting it. And so…

Instead of continuing to harbor any ill will against this woman—who, for all I know, was going to pass on a very helpful menopausal tip—I choose to think of this unpleasant event as a learning experience. I see it as a reminder to think before I speak, to not let the words of a random person ruin my day, and…well…to motivate me to continue my New Year’s goals of exercising more and eating healthier!

What questions have you been asked (or asked someone else) that should be added to our list of things you should never ask a stranger?

Process, Product, and Playthings

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 04:45:00 +0000

For the past two days I've been watching my cat attempt to retrieve about a dozen cat toys from underneath our TV cabinet. He’s been very successful in his pursuit…though he’s reclaimed not a single thing.

It all started when he accidentally pushed a new toy under the furniture while playing with it. He made several attempts to recover it, but when his little paw kept coming back empty, I decided to help him. I dragged a ruler under the cabinet to help push his toy out from beneath it. It did come out…along with a host of other dusty, little cat toys that had been hiding there for who knows how long.

I thought he'd be thrilled with this plethora of playthings, but he just looked at me like I had spoiled all his fun. He walked around to the other side of the cabinet, flopped onto the floor, and started pawing under it again. I took a peek below and saw him trying to grab onto a small, white water bottle cap.

With all these toys in plain sight, why was he still trying to grab onto something out of reach?

After ten minutes of activity, my cat was even more involved and determined though he seemed no closer to getting hold of his object than before. I finally realized that the "fun" for him was in trying, problem solving, playing the game. It wasn’t important to him to actually latch onto his prey. That wasn’t his goal.

So I shoved all the toys back under the cabinet.

Now he’s taking a nap in the sun. Every once in a while, his feet will twitch or his whiskers will quiver. I like to think he’s pursuing mice who are giving him a good chase and then running under the TV cabinet, elusive but at the same time ever possible.

It reminds me of the new year and all the goals I’ve set for myself. Most of them involve taking some kind of risk, attempting something I never have before without the assurance of success. I’m excited to get started, but I also need to make sure I find the joy in the moment.

What goals have you set for the new year? And how will you go about achieving them?

Sue Monk Kidd, My New BFF

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 23:49:00 +0000

One of the reasons I love reading so much is because of the instant connection you can feel with someone, even though you’ve never met them.

Right now I’m in the middle of reading Traveling with Pomegranates, a memoir by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter Ann Kidd Taylor in which they travel abroad and explore foreign countries, each other, and themselves. In the book, Kidd is about to turn 50 and is looking back at where she’s been and forward to where she might be headed. I’m getting ready to turn 47 and doing much the same thing. I can also totally relate to Kidd’s pre-menopausal insomnia and overwhelming (often frantic) desire to re-locate, though I’d not seen a connection between these two conditions until she suggested it.

With as similar as our feeling are on some things, though, they’re quite different on others. I’m not dreading this changing point in my life. I don’t feel it’s the end of my youth or that my identity as a woman is changing for the worse or that it’s moving me more swiftly toward death. I actually feel just the opposite. I feel rejuvenated, energized, and at the beginning of an exciting journey.

I’ve started to feel an intense desire to break all the rules—or at least see them for what they really are: Guidelines created by other people to create a life I’m not necessarily interested in living. The closer I get to my birthday, the more passionately I feel the need to actually do something about all this restless energy. To acknowledge and be fueled by these surges of rebellion that seem to be pushing me every day to move, change, go, see, do!

Now all I see ahead of me are wide-open roads. I don’t know exactly where I’m headed, though I have several big dreams rolling around in my head, but my first step will be to move out of the house I’ve lived in for 11 years. I’d like to be able to say I’m moving to Paris or London—and that might be a road for another day—but for now something a bit closer will have to do. Actually, something closer will be just fine because it will give me a chance to brush up on my French.

What steps are you taking—or considering taking—to get to a place that feels “just right” for you?

“Raymond Burr’s Legs”…Get It?

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 04:11:00 +0000

Sometimes being around students who are so much younger than I am makes me feel young…and sometimes it just makes me feel like an old fart.

I’ve been a college professor for about eleven years now, and most of my students are between 19 and 22 years old. The odd thing about teaching students who never seem to age is that it makes me feel that I’m not aging either…at least it has until recently.

For example, trying to think of pop culture references that we can all relate to in order to illustrate certain concepts or techniques gets harder and harder every year. The only references I can safely use now that I can count on to be familiar to almost everyone are The Wizard of Oz and Star Wars. But the only reason they work is because they’re classics and almost everyone has seen them. Trying to find a more recent reference has proven fruitless.

The last straw was earlier this week when we were discussing Stephen King’s wonderfully inspirational memoir, On Writing. Early on, he refers to a band he played in called Raymond Burr’s Legs.

Now, depending on how old you are, that band name will either (a) provoke an immediate lol moment (that’s “laugh out loud” for those of you old enough to get the band reference but maybe not young enough to get the texting reference) or (b) leave you hearing crickets chirp. This semester my entire class fell into the latter category. Not a single student got King’s humorous reference to the actor who played the wheelchair-bound lawyer on the TV show Ironside.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Ironside aired from the late ’60s to the mid-’70s—decades before most of my students were born. But this leaves me wondering what’s next? When is the other shoe going to fall? For that matter, how many of my students would understand that shoe cliché if I presented it to them?

I guess one benefit of acknowledging this distinction between my students’ age and mine is that I can stop trying to figure out what symbol I should get tattooed onto my shoulder. Instead I guess I’ll just sit at home and wait for my first issue of AARP magazine to arrive.

Is there a particular incident in your life that made you suddenly feel your age? Share it here...

Reading, Writing, and It’s All in the Wrist

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 17:35:00 +0000

Did you know you can open a beer bottle with a piece of paper? You can also use another beer bottle or a spoon. I learned this one night when all that stood between me and the Hefeweizen in my fridge was a thin metal bottle cap. Sure, there’s a lot of useless info on the internet, but one man’s “useless info” is another man’s (or woman’s) ice cold beer.

I was without an opener because recently I had thrown away the entire contents of my kitchen gadget drawer when I discovered that a furry visitor—eek! a mouse—had been there and used it as his personal toilet. I had replaced the more commonly used items but didn’t realize I hadn’t yet bought a new bottle opener until that hot summer night when I found myself craving a beer.

Already comfy in my PJs, I wasn’t about to change and run to the store to buy a new one. Plan B: I decided to let my fingers do the walking…on my keyboard. I figured I would find the answer to this problem at cyber-school just as I had on more than one occasion in the past.

Most recently I had learned how to replace the faucet in my bathroom sink, what ingredient I could use in place of milk to make blueberry muffins, why sometimes you sneeze when you walk out into bright sunlight, what day of the week my birthday falls on this year, and who sings “The Thong Song.” I’ll admit it’s not rocket science, but the beauty of having so much seemingly unimportant data in one place is that you never know when it will be important to someone. Which brings me back to the thirst-quenching bottle of beer still unopened in my fridge.

I type in the words “how do you open a beer bottle without a can opener,” and immediately I’m rewarded with a long list of helpful links. I had no idea there were this many mouse-infested beer-drinkers out there. I spot a link from bartender Moe Harris on YouTube, which I quickly click. Info from an expert with a live demonstration…perfect!

Professor Harris presents a variety of ways to help me achieve my beer-drinking goal, but first he gives me a warning about the dangers involved—we are working with glass, after all. He then provides his list of credits: working bartender, bartending instructor, and international “flare” competitor (that’s a bottle flipper to you and me). As an added bonus, he delivers a mini science lesson on why these methods work. In case you’re curious, it involves a lever, a fulcrum, and a grip.

Long story short, the two-bottle strategy doesn’t work for me and neither does the piece of paper. But the spoon works perfectly! I get the bottle open safely, quench my thirst, and learn an interesting tidbit about physics in the process. It might not be the discovery of the century, but where else can you get all this, for free, in your pajamas?

Please comment on this post or let me know what helpful info (though seemingly "useless") you've found on the internet.

Chivalry Is Not Dead, Thank You Very Much

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 02:14:00 +0000

*mahalo*	SPASIBO	danke
arigato		grazie
	gracias merci
*thank you*		obrigado

Along with hordes of students this week, I made my way back to school. One of the colleges where I teach English has a small satellite campus (where I usually teach) and a much larger main campus where I find myself this semester.

It’s been a bit of an adjustment from being able to access everything I need in one place to now having to wander in and out of several different buildings to pick up my mail, hold my office hours, get to class, and so on. One consequence of this situation, though, has left me pleasantly surprised: Wherever I go, young men are holding doors open for me.

This used to be a commonplace occurrence extended to women without even thinking about it. Over the years, however, it has become a dying nicety. It seems to have been phased out along with other pleasantries, such as saying “please” and “thank you” and giving the driver behind you a “thank you” wave when they let you cut in ahead of them.

Where have these courtesies gone? I don’t blame it on the younger generation because I’ve had doors slammed shut in my face by all ages, and I’ve puttered along for miles waiting for a simple acknowledgement wave from drivers young and not-so-young whose inconsiderate driving I chose to slow down for instead of honk at.

But during this first week of school, I’m thrilled to say I have not had to open a single door for myself. Whenever a male student opened the door for himself, he looked behind him and, automatically it seemed, held the door open to let me through as well. These polite young students have been standing near doors, not even going through them themselves, seen me coming, and reached to open the door for me. One young man opened the door for himself, looked behind him and saw me coming down the hallway, and waited for me to reach the doorway so he could hold it open for me. “Will wonders never cease,” my mother would say.

Ever appreciative of polite behavior, I am loving this trend that seems to be making a comeback. My heartfelt “thank you” might seem overly enthusiastic, but it’s absolutely sincere.

Now if I could just find a way to bring back the driving “thank you” wave.

Nap Attack…Come and Get Me!

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:11:00 +0000

Most mornings when I leave the house, my cat is reclined in a truly relaxing pose. More often than not, when I return home hours later, I find him in exactly the same position. What a life, eh? This always makes me feel a tinge of jealousy. What is it about The Nap that makes it so wonderful? I’m not quite sure, but I do know what my favorite types of nap are.

Napping as Its Own Reward

My favorite nap is the mid-afternoon pick-me-up after a hard morning’s work. I like feeling as if I’ve earned it, like it’s my prize. Don’t get me wrong, though. I don’t think you necessarily have to earn a nap…which brings me to my next favorite type of nap.

The Nap You’ll Earn Later…or Not

You know, you’ve woken up unusually early—either on purpose to accomplish some important task like taking someone near and dear to the airport (you’re such a good friend) or accidentally due to restless thoughts about your self-imposed deadline to write that blog post. Then after an hour or two, when maybe the most productive thing you’ve done is make a pot of coffee, you feel the unshakeable need to stretch out and “just rest your eyes for a bit”…which is code for “I’m off to Napland for twenty minutes or so. See you when I get back.” You haven’t really earned this type of nap, which is part of what makes it so enjoyable.

Napping Sacrilege

I’ve also heard of people who nap simply because they’re bored. I have to say I don’t agree with this practice at all. I’m thinking these people can’t be true nappers because a napping devotee would never abuse this activity in such a way.

I’m stifling a yawn as I finish this post, so I’m thinking…maybe it’s time to “just rest my eyes for a bit.”

What are your favorite ways to nap?

A Peek at the Woman Behind the Curtain

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa Duran) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 20:41:00 +0000

OK, so I admit to being a bit of a perfectionist. And, yes, it sometimes keeps me from starting projects…like writing this post. I felt this first post was an important one because it had to accomplish so many things. It had to introduce me, set the blog’s tone, welcome readers, and give an idea of what kinds of topics I’d chat about. So, how was I supposed to do all that in just a few hundred words? My heart raced and my mind spun, but unfortunately my typing fingers remained very, very still.

Fortunately, I also have a weakness for self-help books. I figured with all the motivational advice I’d ingested over the years, there had to be something I could call on that would come in handy here. So I went into my mental vault…

Ø Picture yourself having already accomplished your task.

Ø Break up your large task into smaller tasks and just do the first little task.

These two pieces of advice seemed to contradict each other, so I threw them both out.

Ø Talk is cheap.

Ø Just do something.

These two suggestions should have pushed me into taking action, but the part of me that doesn’t like being told what to do pushed back at this advice that felt like an order...so I did nothing.

Ø Picture your audience in their underwear.

Ø Imagine your audience consists of only friends and family.

I know the first suggestion is supposed to make me feel less intimidated, but I don’t really want to imagine you all naked in front of me, whether I know you or not. (Especially if I know you.) The second idea, though, really resonated with me. My friends and family are fairly non-scary people. If they think what I’m doing is good they’ll let me know, and if they think what I’m saying is stupid it won’t be the first time.

Ø Write about what you know.

Aha! I can certainly do this. After all, who knows me better than me? (Although if that were true, I wouldn’t need all of those self-help books, but that’s fodder for another post.)

So, I’ve made it to the end of this piece without too much anxiety, and now the all-important first post is done. The rest of them can only be easier from here on out, right? Unless I start worrying about the sophomore slump and how my second post might not be as good as the first. So, now you know that not only am I a perfectionist, but I also have issues with being an over-achiever. Ah, well…

I hope you enjoyed what was rolling around in my head today enough to come back and see what might be rolling around in there tomorrow or the day after.