Why I Get Up

Hand Picked Fun - Revisited

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 26 Feb 2021 03:11:00 +0000

The First Day of Autumn, Really.

September 23rd and the calendar reads, First Day of Autumn.
Really?
The high today is 106.
Living in AZ on the first day of Fall is like living far away from one of my dear friends when they are having a birthday party. I can think of them, but miss all the fun. As they say, 'you have to be there.'

To honor the change of season, aside from hopping a plane and taking a fall foliage tour, I thought I'd post my apple-picking poem today. And - I have a have a fall-inspired recipe, too. (Does that mean the recipe is inspired by fall or it will inspire me to think about fall? - Either way - the bars are delicious.) Oh, and for my AZ readers- if you ignore the part about turning on the oven on a triple-digit day - the caramel-apple-cookie smell is wonderful!

Poem first, then recipe. Enjoy!

Hand Picked Fun

I don’t know what happened to my bathing suit

Summer up and left

Mom moved the sweaters

From my big sister’s drawer

To mine

And the sun inched west a little sooner each day

Taking all the fun with him

Until we piled into the maroon station wagon

And drove north

Long enough for us to wonder if Dad got lost

We found the trees. Green leaves gone to yellow and orange.

Did the colors bring the cool air?

I thought so, but they told me it was the other way around.

Rows and rows of heavy laden trees.

We picked for hours, climbing, stretching

Dropping, joking

With cold noses and fingers

We filled our bags and bushels full of red, ripe apples.

And the country store had heated, fresh pressed cider.

One sip and my brother laughed at my eyes

Popping from the burst of flavor

Sweet and spicy

And warm.

Like those apples had figured out a way

To store all the rays of summer sunshine.

Just for me.

Tamara Passey

Easy Caramel Apple Bars by Betty Crocker

Prep Time 15 Minutes

Total Time 2:55 Hrs:Mins

Makes 36 bars

1/2 cup cold butter

1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker® oatmeal cookie mix

1 egg

1 cup finely chopped peeled apple

3/4 cup caramel topping

1/4 cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour

1.) Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottom of 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray.

2.) In large bowl, cut butter into cookie mix using fork or pastry blender. Stir in egg until mixture is crumbly.

3.) Reserve 1 1/2 cups cookie mixture. Press remaining cookie mixture into bottom of pan. Bake 15 minutes. Sprinkle apple evenly over crust. In small bowl, mix caramel topping and flour; drizzle over apples. Sprinkle reserved cookie mixture over apples.

4.) Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely, about 2 hours. For bars, cut into 9 rows by 4 rows.

Makes 36 bars

Repost - After the Airport Goodbye

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 26 Feb 2021 03:08:00 +0000

Raising Daughters

They need you and need you and need you

Until they don't

Because you've taught them well and

Shown them the way and

Given them all you have

Your heart and your soul and your favorite flat iron.

They thank you, they hug you, and they leave you

In one motion

They are off and you wouldn't have it any other way

This is why you carried them, why you fed them, and why you held their hand

So one day

They could let go

And live their beautiful life.

1/5/18

More Than Moods: What's a Mom and Dad to Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 16:42:00 +0000

WHAT'S A MOM AND DAD TO DO?

Parenting Tips for the Modern Family

(Zhuk, Adobe Stock)

The first post in this series discussed parenting style—how the attitude and approach of mothers and fathers can affect their children.

This post will highlight two important factors in parenting specific to children: their development and temperament.

More than Moods

(Tostphoto, Adobe Stock)

DEVELOPMENT

Any parent with a child at least six months old can tell you that as soon as you think you have figured out your baby, or overcome a problem, or finally have a good routine, they grow into the next stage seemingly overnight. Keeping pace with your child’s development is both exciting and challenging. Dr. Laurence Steinberg taught it this way: “As your child grows and matures, her abilities, concerns, and needs change. Your parenting needs to change over time, too” (65).

(Soupstock, Adobe Stock)

· “First, when your child develops from one stage to the next, he is changing on the inside as well as the outside”(66-68).Development includes changes in all areas—physical, emotional, intellectual, as well as social.

· “Second, the stages of psychological development that children go through are reasonably predictable”(66-68). Some parents spend time learning about the development of their infant, but stop there. Learning about each stage from toddler to teen can provide preparation for and insight into what is happening with your child.

· “Third, neither you nor your child can control the nature or pace of her psychological development any more than you or she can control the nature or pace of her physical development. Development unfolds more or less on its own timetable. You can't rush a child through a particular psychological phase any more than you can force your child to stop crawling and start walking" (66-68).

· “Fourth, the same forces that are changing your child for the better as he develops are usually contributing to the parenting challenges associated with that period.” The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say no all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained. The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your thirteen-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom is also making her argumentative at the dinner table. Oppositionalism is bothersome, and argumentativeness is tiresome, but both are signs that your child is developing. That's something to be happy about” (66-68).

An Important Point about Parenting and Your Child’s Development

Does it show weakness to change your parenting practices based on your child’s stage of life? No, it doesn't. You can still follow sound principles, but it’s completely appropriate to adapt and adjust your practices based on your child’s needs.

TEMPERAMENT

(Booleen, Adobe Stock)

Another important aspect to understand about your child is their personality. The research shows what many parents of multiple children have learned: babies are born with an identifiable disposition or temperament.

(Booleen, Adobe Stock)

“All children come into the world with an inborn temperament that influences how active they are, how easily they become frustrated or distressed, and how well they adapt to change. Your child's innate disposition influences the way he responds to virtually everything he encounters.”

“A wary child can't help being wary, nor can an active child help being active or a fearful one help being fearful. Your child's temperament is not under his control” (Steinberg, 71)

(Booleen, Adobe Stock)

“The most important thing ... is that if you have a child with a difficult temperament, you will need to allow extra time when she is facing any sort of change or unfamiliar situation. ... whether your child is especially fearful, ... shy, or especially irritable, or any combination of the three. Any of these characteristics require that you take extra time to help her adapt to something new, such as a new caregiver, a new school, a new house, or a new schedule.... You're going to have to be patient while she adjusts (Steinberg, 71-72).

Ten Temperament Traits

From the Center for Parenting Education

Based on a thirty-year study begun in 1956, temperament explains why some children are very easy-going while others tend to be more challenging for parents. Child development research has identified 10 temperament traits that everyone exhibits to some extent. They are:

1. Intensity

Does your child show happiness or frustration strongly and dramatically? Or does your child express those feelings mildly?

2. Activity Level

Is it hard to read a book with your child because he is always on the go? Or, does your child prefer sedentary quiet activities?

3. Regularity

Does your child eat and sleep at predictable times? Or, is your child unpredictable in terms of eating and sleeping schedules?

4. Quality of Mood

Is your child generally in a happy mood? Or, does your child seem more serious?

5. Emotional Sensitivity

Does your child react strongly to his own or other’s feelings and emotions? Or does your child seem unaware of how he or others are feeling?

6. Sensory Sensitivity

Does your child react positively or negatively to sounds, tastes, and textures?

7. Adaptability

Does your child have difficulty with changes in routines, or with transitions from one activity to another? Or does your child handle them smoothly?

8. Approach/Withdrawal

Does your child easily approach new situations or people? Or does your child seem to hold back when faced with new situations, people or things?

9. Distractibility

Is your child easily sidetracked when trying to do chores or homework? Or, does your child stay on task?

10. Persistence

Does your child react strongly when told “no” to something? Does your child have a hard time letting ideas go? Or does your child seem to give up without trying their hardest

Why is Knowing this Important?

You can meet their needs because you understand them better.
You can help your child manage their reactions.
You can see the positive aspects of their traits. "Stubborn" can be "persistent."
You can appreciate that some "difficult" qualities may be what they need as adults.
Working with your child can create a more positive relationship.

(Adapted from The Center for Parenting Education)

So, what’s a mom or dad to do?

The more you learn about your child’s development and temperament, the better equipped you will be to meet his or her needs. Keep learning as they grow. Allowing extra time for a child that doesn’t adapt well to new situations, accommodating your child’s activity level, and understanding your child’s degree of persistence are all ways to work with, and not against, your child’s disposition.

(Passey, tl;dr)

Navigate the Series

First Post - Parenting Styles

Third Post - Lies and Punishment

Series Introduction

References:

Booleen. Child in a bad mood. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Booleen. Child Shock. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Booleen. Smiling Boy. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Passey, T. (2020) tl;dr. [Graphic].

Steinberg, L. D. (2005). The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting. New York: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.

Temperament Overview. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/temperament-overview/

Tostphoto. Love and Happiness Emoticon. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Soupstock. Boy growing from age three to eleven. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Zhuk, A. Happy Young Family. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Resources:

Here is a great Rating Scale and more information for learning about your child’s temperament: https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/temperament-rating-scales/

Lies and Punishment: What’s a Mom and Dad to Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 16:42:00 +0000

WHAT'S A MOM AND DAD TO DO?

Parenting Tips for the Modern Family

(Zhuk,Adobe Stock)

Lies and Punishment: What’s a Mom and Dad to Do?

Punishment

Bad behavior is unpleasant for everybody, but when it’s your child and you are the one responsible to provide correction, it can quickly become uncomfortable and tricky. There’s no shortage of ideas about child discipline, some often contradict each other.

I found an approach I like in the book The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting by Dr. Laurence Steinberg. It includes five elements for effective punishment, and they just make so much sense.

(Gwimages, Adobe Stock)

Instead of confusion, a parent can have confidence:

(Photographee.eu, Adobe Stock)

Steinberg suggests the-following order:

• An identification of the specific act that was wrong.

• A statement describing the impact of the misbehavior.

• A suggestion for one or more alternatives to the undesirable behavior.

• A clear statement of what the punishment is going to be.

• A statement of your expectation that your child will do better the next time (2005, p. 156)

It seems like a lot, but look at the example here and see what you think:

Try to do all five of these whenever you punish your child. Your four-year-old has been told that she should not whine when she can't have her way. Now she's whining because you won't let her have a cookie right before dinner. Say something like this: "Please don't whine when you want something (Identification). It puts me in a bad mood (Impact). If you are hungry and it is nearly dinner time, you can have a carrot or a piece of celery (Alternative). I'm going to put you on a time-out until you've settled down (Punishment). I know the next time I say you can't have something, you won't whine about it (Expectation)"(2005, p. 156)

I love this pattern. It demystifies how to respond to almost any bad behavior and it applies young children as well as teenagers. I’m sure I’ve managed to include these elements here and there in my efforts to do my best, but until now I haven’t included all five in such a concise way. It may take some practice to do this in real life (please do not tell my children I need any extra opportunities!), but it is worth the effort. With this method, a child is not confused why they are receiving punishment because the behavior is identified. They are taught what the impact of their actions are. I think the best part is providing an alternative because children often feel like they had no choice—when really, they just lack experience. Stating an expectation is also another way of expressing confidence in them that they can make good choices in the future.

Lies

(Yu, Adobe Stock)

I once heard someone say, “When your child learns he can lie, it’s a sign of intelligence. When he chooses not to lie, it’s a sign of maturity.” I thought that was pretty clever, but soon realized it didn’t offer much direction on what to do when a child keeps choosing to lie. Feeling good about a sign of intelligence can only last for so long!

Thankfully, parents do have options when it comes to dealing with this perplexing part of child development. The first step, according to Dr. Haim G. Ginott, (Between Parent and Child, 2003) is to prevent them—or at least not provoke lies. Hopefully parents don’t do this intentionally, but here is how Ginott explains it:

Children resent being interrogated by a parent, especially when they suspect that the answers are already known. They hate questions that are traps, questions that force them to choose between an awkward lie and an embarrassing confession (65-66).

He gives some examples:

Thus, it’s not a good idea to ask questions to which we already have the answers. For instance, “Did you clean the room as I asked?” while looking at a dirty room. Or, “Did you go to school today?” after having been informed that your daughter did not. A statement is preferable: “I see the room has not been cleaned yet.” Or, “We have been told that you skipped school today” (66-67).

I’ve always thought it was disingenuous to ask a question I knew the answer to in an effort to catch a lie. I think it can erode trust between a child and a parent.

Ginott has more thoughts on why children may lie: “Sometimes they lie because they are not allowed to tell the truth” (67).

Four-year-old Willie stormed into the living room, angry, and complained to his mother: “I hate Grandma!” His mother, horrified, answered, “No, you don’t. You love Grandma! In this home we don’t hate. Besides, she gives you presents and takes you places. How can you even say such a horrible thing?”

But Willie insisted, “No, I hate her, I hate her. I don’t want to see her anymore.” His mother, now really upset, decided to use a more drastic educational method. She spanked Willie.

Willie, not wanting to be punished more, changed his tune: “I really love Grandma, Mommy,” he said. How did Mommy respond? She hugged and kissed Willie and praised him for being such a good boy.

What did little Willie learn from this exchange? It’s dangerous to tell the truth, to share your true feelings with your mother. When you’re truthful, you get punished; when you lie, you get love. Truth hurts. Stay away from it. Mommy loves little liars. Mommy likes to hear only pleasant truths. Tell her only what she wants to hear, not how you really feel (67).

This passage highlights how our children are learning from us in ways we may not intend or are even aware of. I think we need to ask ourselves what kind of parent we want to be, and then examine the messages we are sending by our actions. It might be uncomfortable to realize we’ve been teaching very different things from what we value.

(Nastia1983, Adobe Stock)

Is there a better way?

Ginott answers:

What could Willie’s mother have answered if she wanted to teach Willie to tell the truth?

She would have acknowledged his upset: “Oh, you no longer love Grandma. Would you like to tell me what Grandma did that made you so angry?” He may have answered, “She brought a present for the baby, not for me.”

If we want to teach honesty, then we must be prepared to listen to bitter truths as well as pleasant truths. If children are to grow up honest, they must not he encouraged to lie about their feelings, be they positive, negative, or ambivalent. It is from our reactions to their expressed feelings that children learn whether or not honesty is the best policy (68).

Our reactions matter so much. Do our actions align with what we claim is important?

More reasons children may lie:

Lies that tell truths. When punished for truth, children lie in self-defense. They also lie to give themselves in fantasy what they lack in reality. Lies tell truths about fears and hopes. They reveal what one would like to be or do. To a discerning ear, lies reveal what they intend to conceal. A mature reaction to a lie should reflect understanding of its meaning, rather than denial of its content or condemnation of its author. The information gained from the lie can be used to help the child to distinguish between reality and wishful thinking.

Ginott gives this example and a wonderful way to guide children:

When three-year-old Jasmine informed her grandma that she received a live elephant for Christmas, her grandma reflected her wish rather than tried to prove to her granddaughter that she was a liar. She answered, “You wish you did. You wish you had an elephant! You wish you had your own zoo! You wish you had a jungle full of animals! (68).

So, What’s a Mom and Dad to Do?

More can be said about understanding and responding to lying, but these insights can help a parent reduce instances when they might be tempted to provoke a lie, and also help them start to see them for what the lies could mean. As Ginott says, when “dealing with dishonesty, an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of investigation” (68). If we want our children to learn that there is no need to lie to us, we can respond without interrogating and by redirecting them to the truth.

(Passey, tl;dr)

Navigate the Series

Series Introduction

First Post - Parenting Styles

Second Post - More Than Moods

References:

Ginott, H. G., Ginott, A., & Goddard, H. W. (2003) Between parent and child. New York: Random House.

Gwimages. Boy in Trouble. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Nastia1983. Fun pupil girl. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Passey, T. (2020) tl;dr. [Graphic].

Photographee.eu. School psychologist with smart boy. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Steinberg, L. D. (2003). The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting. New York: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks.

Yu, Feng. Lies. [Graphic]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Zhuk, A. Happy Young Family. [Photo]. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Resources:

For more on lying and other tricky behavior, read: Chapter 3 "Self-defeating Patterns: There's No Right Way to Do a Wrong Thing" from Between Parent and Child, 2003.

Series Introduction: What's a Mom and Dad To Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 00:34:00 +0000

WHAT'S A MOM AND DAD TO DO?

Parenting Tips for the Modern Family

(Zhuk, Adobe Stock)

Series Introduction

If you're a parent and you've spent anytime online or talking with friends and family, you already know parenting opinions are abundant, subject to change, and often contradictory. How do you sort through the confusing advice? What's a mom and dad to do?

This series offers research-based information that can help you navigate a few of the inevitable questions and choices that are part of the adventure of raising your children.

Introducing the NEPEM Model

What exactly is that, you ask?

The NEPEM Model is pretty cool and happens to be the foundation for this series.
Here's the full name:

"NATIONAL EXTENSION PARENT EDUCATION MODEL OF CRITICAL PARENTING PRACTICE"

The who, when, and where this model was published:

Smith, C. A., Cudaback, D., Goddard, H. W., & Myers-Walls, J. (1994). Manhattan, Kansas: Kansas Cooperative Extension Service.

A short summary of what it includes:

Infographic created by author, clip-art from FAML120

Click here to read on!

First Post - Parenting Styles

Second Post - More Than Moods

Third Post - Lies and Punishment

References:

Smith, C. A., Cudaback, D., Goddard, H. W., & Myers-Walls, J. (1994). Manhattan, Kansas: Kansas Cooperative Extension Service. https://www.k-state.edu/wwparent/nepem.

Zhuk, A. Happy Young Family. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

Parenting Style: What's a Mom and Dad To Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 22:20:00 +0000

WHAT'S A MOM AND DAD TO DO?

Parenting Tips for the Modern Family

(Zhuk,Adobe Stock)

Let's start with style. No, not your fashions sense, your overall approach to parenting. There are a few styles, and regardless of how aware (or not aware) you are of them and your parenting choices, they make a difference in the life of your child.

Drawing from the work of researchers Diana Baumrind (Baumrind, 1967), Maccoby and Martin (1983), as well as teaching aids from an instructional Parenting Styles Video, parenting styles can be broken down into four areas. The objects below offer a representation of the traits belonging to that style.

(Passey, Parenting Styles Question)

Do you know which one is best?

Before you answer, how about a little more information?

This model focuses on two dimensions of parenting behavior.

Demanding-ness, as you can imagine, relates to the amount of control parents try to exert over their children's behavior or how much they demand their maturity.
Responsiveness, as it sounds, relates to the amount of sensitivity and acceptance parents offer to their children's emotional and developmental needs.

(Passey, Parenting Styles)

Putting it All Together

The Authoritative Style:

A tennis ball is "firm on the outside, but has an incredible amount of give. In fact, the amount of bounce that a single tennis ball has changes over time, which can be likened to learning, changing, and progressing over time while parenting. A tennis ball is also fuzzy, representing softness, or a warm and fuzzy personality, one that is approachable. Parents who apply an authoritative style of parenting have high levels of warmth and high levels of expectations, yet they are willing to guide and negotiate with their children" (Video, FAML 120).

When learning of the “high levels of expectations” for this parenting style, it can sound harsh. The key is that it is paired with “high levels of warmth.” I think the combination of these two traits is what gives children structure and confidence. If my parents expect something from me—they must believe I’m capable. The combination of expectation and warmth can give children feelings of respect and security too. If they care about how I feel when I’m doing what they ask, I can feel safe and respected, too.

(Passey, Parenting Styles Named)

“This style of parenting is likely to create children who have good social skills and are ready to become independent upon reaching adulthood. Children of authoritative parents are often self-reliant and confident” (Video, FAML 120).

The Authoritarian Style:

You can imagine why the jawbreaker might represent the Authoritarian style of parenting. It’s pretty tough, hard to break through to the center, and sugar on the inside can mean not a lot of nourishment or nurture from this style. Authoritarian parenting tends to demand that children do something “because I said so.” There is no room for feelings.

Authoritarian parents call all the shots except strict obedience. Negotiation with the child is not a part of this style of parenting. Although authoritarian parents love their children, they have high demands with a low level of responsiveness. Often, their high expectations are met with very little warmth, and mistakes and shortcomings are harshly punished (Video, FAML 120).

By comparing this style to the similar-sounding, but more effective Authoritative style, you can see what is missing: warmth and caring. Without acknowledging feelings, caring for a child’s well-being, and treating them with respect, a vital connection between parent and child is lost. This can lead to a very different experience for the child.

“Living with a parent that is so rigid can be hard on the child, just like the jawbreaker. This style of parenting is likely to create unsociable and withdrawn children who may struggle to understand how to make appropriate choices for themselves” (Video, FAML 120).

The Permissive Style:

The marshmallow couldn’t be more opposite than the jawbreaker. It is soft and easily molded instead of nearly unbreakable. The Permissive style of parenting is also the opposite of the Authoritarian style—all warmth and no demands.

Permissive parents are interested in being their child’s friend, often disregarding consequences for misbehavior. While there are high levels of work and parental involvement from the parent to the child there are low levels of demand, which equates to low levels of correction (Video, FAML 120).

While the higher level of involvement is a helpful aspect of this style and can lead to a better connection between parent and child, the vital ingredient of expectations and correction is missing. Children often don’t complain about this kind of style when they are young, but may recognize when they are older what they missed.

“Parent who use this style give in to their child, and the child learns quickly to manipulate situations. This style of parenting is likely to create immature and dependent children with low levels of self-control” (Video, FAML 120).

The Neglectful Style:

A burnout light bulb represents the Neglectful style best. Neglectful parents do not demand anything of their children, and they also do not respond to them. For their children, it is truly like no one is home and the lights are off—even when in the same room.

As you can imagine, low involvement and indifference to needs can make it difficult for children to feel love and develop even basic life skills.

Children of Neglectful parents:

Are more impulsive
Cannot self-regulate
Encounter more delinquency and addiction
Have more difficulty with mental health

(parentingforbrain.com)

So, what’s a mom or dad to do?

With research pointing to the Authoritative style as most effective, parents can feel confident in setting rules and enforcing boundaries—but doing it by having open discussion and using reasoning. They can be reassured that showing affection and being supportive will not “weaken” them in the eyes of their child, but strengthen the connection they have.

(Passey, tl;dr)

Navigate the Series

Second Post - More Than Moods

Third Post - Lies and Punishment

Series Introduction

References:

Parenting For Brain. (2020, January 17). 4 Parenting Styles - Characteristics And Effects. [Blog Post]. Retrieved from https://www.parentingforbrain.com/4-baumrind-parenting-styles/.

Parenting Styles Video, FAML 120 Parenting Skills

Passey, T. (2020) Parenting Styles. [Graphic].

Passey, T. (2020) Parenting Styles Named. [Graphic].

Passey, T. (2020) Parenting Styles Question. [Graphic].

Passey, T. (2020) tl;dr. [Graphic].

Zhuk, A. Happy Young Family. Retrieved from https://stock.adobe.com/images.

After the Airport Goodbye

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 05 Jan 2018 18:25:00 +0000

Raising Daughters

They need you and need you and need you

Until they don't

Because you've taught them well and

Shown them the way and

Given them all you have

Your heart and your soul and your favorite flat iron.

They thank you, they hug you, and they leave you

In one motion

They are off and you wouldn't have it any other way

This is why you carried them, why you fed them, and why you held their hand

So one day

They could let go

And live their beautiful life.

1/5/18

Resist The Fear, Refuse the Helplessness

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 22:57:00 +0000

I learned of the Las Vegas mass shooting at 8:20 a.m. today. My mind, my heart, cried “No, no, no!”

Random and reckless. Terrifying and too much. I remember once again that I live in this world where people can hurt, maim, and kill. I can already see the wave of grief spreading out over the city and state, the country and the world. It takes all my willpower to resist the fear and refuse the helplessness.

A single thought whispers, "Do good. Do something kind. Love someone today."

At first it feels pointless or ineffective or too thin in the face of such thick evil. Yet the thought persists because of what I know.

You see, my son shares a birthday with his uncle. My brother. The brother that was killed—kicked to death—by three men. This isn’t a fact we dwell on when November rolls around and we sing Happy Birthday. For years after my brother’s death, I wished my son could have been born on a different day. But their shared birthday has led me to a comparison I might not have made otherwise.

My son is also a liver transplant recipient. Some organs you can share without giving your life—like kidneys. While others can only be given when your life ends—like hearts. So, yes, a child died unexpectedly and his parents agreed to donate his liver to our son who had been waiting almost three months. Through the next 24 hours of tears and prayers and skilled surgery, he emerged with a healthy liver and a body capable of living. And live he has. For 23 years our family has known joy. Whole-souled, awe-filled joy because of him. Not just because of the miracle of his life, but because of the miracle that someone we didn’t know was allowed to choose to give him another chance at life. They chose to give life, to love a stranger, even in an hour of pain and grief.

While I have grappled with the heart-sickening actions of others—hateful acts of violence and even small mistakes—and how those actions are allowed to wreak havoc in the lives of innocent people, I have gradually come to see what this means for the loving actions of others. Loving actions are allowed to impact us as well. Generous gestures, kind compliments, and heroic rescues can all create waves of comfort and peace. Doctors who dedicate years to practice so they can save a life or relieve a pain. Friends who show up on doorsteps with dinner, neighbors who water your plants and watch the street when you’re out of town. Family members who listen, encourage, and cheer you on—give you a hug (a high-five, a fist-bump—whatever love language you speak.) All of these loving actions can supply happiness and peace, hope and joy. Love can help and heal and give life. And like a wave, it can move through a family, a city, and the world too.

This is my reality: three men I will never know changed the landscape of my family causing immense grief and pain by ending my brother’s life. While another three people, two parents and a child, were allowed to give the gift of life, also changing my family—bringing infinite happiness and joy.

It may be impossible to avoid grief on a day like today—when the news headlines are driving pain into my heart and home. I don’t have maxims or adages and certainly not answers.

But I do have a longing, swelling up into a soul-filled determination, to push back against the wave with one of my own: Do good. Love someone. Don’t hold back.

Easy to Make Holiday Wreath

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 22:13:00 +0000

I love making wreaths, not that I’m great at it, but I love a pretty wreath. It’s like an art form and though the structure is simple, a round base with some kind of ornamentation for accent, it seems the possibilities are endless. And fun. So I look forward to making a new one when I can.

But this year has been, oh slightly busier than the normal holiday swirl. No surprise with a little thing like a book launch thrown into the season. I thought I might have to find a store-bought one. Ouch, hurts to write that.

I found a few I liked and they all had a price tag I didn’t. So here’s what I did:

I grabbed a pine base, ½ price at Hobby Lobby $10 (There may be cheaper ones out there but this one does have a double wire, makes for a fuller-looking wreath. And as my youngest daughter mentioned while we were comparing ‘if it’s too skimpy, it sort of ruins the door.’ Note taken.)They had pre-formed Christmas floral bunches. The ones I chose had a gold ornament, some frosted pine and white glittery spray—I’m not even pretending to use official descriptions here.From another retailer (Okay Wal-Mart) I found clip on ornaments. Where have these been all my life? I picked up three gold poinsettias and three pine cone clusters. No glue stick, string or floral ties needed. Just clip onto the pine branches like you would the tree, and voila! You have yourself a decorated wreath ready for the door.

I made this in less the twenty minutes for under twenty dollars. Now that’s making spirits bright!

Of course, then I installed it on the door and wondered if it needed a ribbon bow. I’m still wondering. Mainly because I haven’t had a spare minute to tie one on and decide. If I do I’ll let you know.

Until then, this is me wishing you a very merry holiday and hoping all of your creative dreams come true!

The Way We Look At Books

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 23 Sep 2016 15:00:00 +0000

by Tamara Passey

When you attend a writer's conference you can hear a buffet of advice--use active voice, not passive, no info-dumping, and so on. But not all writing advice is created equal. Every now and then you can come across some wisdom that can fundamentally change your writing life, if you let it.

J. Scott Savage
ANWA 2016 Keynote

The ANWA conference keynote speaker this year was J. Scott Savage. One of the things he said was "Your writing will change people's lives." It reminded me of something I heard him say several years earlier. He was speaking about his personal writing and publishing journey up to that time and said something I hadn't heard before. Something that changed the way I think about books and that I haven't forgotten since.

It went a little like this:

"If you've ever read a book and thought, 'how did that book get published?' thinking only of what was awful about the book, what you could be asking is 'how did that book get published?' with an eye for what was good about the book."

"If an agent liked the book and an editor worked on the book, and it is selling--look at what is working. Look for what the author did to reach an audience and connect with readers. That is what you want to emulate."

Maybe this had an impact on me because at that time I had written the first draft of my first novel and I was hoping for publication sooner rather than later. Instead of reading books for pure enjoyment, I began reading them with a critical eye and found myself wondering how or why certain books ever made it to the shelf. I thought it was my high standards for writing, but I'm sure there was some creative jealousies at work too.

And so the way that he turned that question around changed my entire attitude. For the better.

Asking what works about a particular story or novel opened me up to positive energy. Focusing on the good and what the author did right, made a place in my mind for me to do the same. Looking for techniques that resonate with the reader made it possible for me to learn those techniques. And I'll take it one step further, being happy for the success of another author--helped me achieve my own.

Me--finally having a chance to thank Jeff Savage for some really great writing advice!

Fall Wreath Non How To - Repost

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 17:06:00 +0000

A Fall Wreath Non-How-To

This is a re-post in honor of the first day of autumn.

Enjoy!

I could probably come up with a better post title, but it's late and the heat wilted me today. So I went for the straight-forward approach, tell it like it is.

First: The "Non" How To Make a Wreath that doesn't cost $50.

Why is it a Non-How-To?

Because I am NOT an expert. This is my first attempt at making a wreath. I don't even call my self crafty, unless we're talking about hiding chocolate. But I wanted a fall wreath and one that didn't cost more than a trip to see real foliage. So this is what I did. And if you are brave enough to copy my non-expert craftiness, please send me a picture -- I'd love to see new and improved versions of my beginner's luck.

Straw wreath - a couple of dollars at WalMart

One bunch of fall foliage flowers and leaves - $5 - conveniently next to the wreaths

One roll of burlap ribbon - $5, maybe a little more

One package of wreath making pins - totally forget how much but they were also right next to the wreath bases.

And heavy duty wire cutters. I borrowed a pair from the kindest neighbor on the planet. If you don't own any, you will have to use different flowers that don't require cutting.

I clipped the flowers and leaves from the bunch that I wanted to use. I removed the plastic from the straw wreath. A lot of straw went flying. Probably could have made the wreath in a barn instead of on my table, but that's hindsight for you. One note of caution (this is code for how I almost ruined the entire project): don't cut the twine that is responsible for keeping your straw wreath base in tact. It's not pretty.

I chose to wrap the burlap ribbon around the entire wreath (mostly to help secure the section I cut loose--see above caution) - but if you want to conserve ribbon, you could wrap the exposed side only-(this is a personal choice somewhere in the realm of how to organize your sock drawer--at the end of the day you are the only one who will know or care :)

Secure the flowers with the extra long looking wreath pins as you see fit. That's right, I don't have a flower placing pattern for you to follow. This feels like stating the obvious, but I don't have any flower-arranging credentials so you are better off figuring out this step on your own.

Tie or create a bow with the burlap ribbon.

Hang on your door. Pretend it isn't 100+ degrees and enjoy!

Written in the fall of 2011 in AZ while reminiscing about the fall seasons of my little growing-up years in MA.

Hand Picked Fun

I don’t know what happened to my bathing suit

Summer up and left

Mom moved the sweaters

From my big sister’s drawer

To mine

And the sun inched west a little sooner each day

Taking all the fun with him

Until we piled into the maroon station wagon

And drove north

Long enough for us to wonder if Dad got lost

We found the trees. Green leaves gone to yellow and orange.

Did the colors bring the cool air?

I thought so, but they told me it was the other way around.

Rows and rows of heavy laden trees.

We picked for hours, climbing, stretching

Dropping, joking

With cold noses and fingers

We filled our bags and bushels full of red, ripe apples.

And the country store had heated, fresh pressed cider.

One sip and my brother laughed at my eyes

Popping from the burst of flavor

Sweet and spicy

And warm.

Like those apples had figured out a way

To store all the rays of summer sunshine.

Just for me.

Tamara Passey

Quotes and Not-So-Deep Thoughts from the ANWA Conference 2016

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 16:52:00 +0000

Another great ANWA conference. I'm still reveling in the joy of it, and maybe the nerdiness too.

Not-So-Deep Thoughts

Advice: Check the chair before you sit on it. If it looks wet, it probably is. And you won't have time to run back to your room and change before you have to stand up and teach.
Yes, that happened. To me. Because I didn't look before I sat.

Philosophy: Overspending in the bookstore is really not overspending at all.
It's an investment in your mind. And we all know a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Thanks: To the woman who won my book as a door prize and stood up and cheered with so much enthusiasm I almost cried. I owe you a hug!

Observation: Pitches by the wall-sized water fountain--genius. No one could hear the 1,000 windmills churning away in the hearts, minds, and stomachs of all the pitchers!

Peggy Urry - Pitch Master

Quotes from the wild:

"In between the highest of highs and the lowest of lows is the magic." J. Scott Savage

"Your writing will change people's lives." J. Scott Savage

"Middle Grade readers have gatekeepers--don't offend them." J. Scott Savage

"Teens do not tolerate exposition." Heather Flaherty

"An author should never be satisfied with the limitations of someone else's world." Katherine Cowley

"Where is a good place for backstory? When the character is naturally thinking about it." Patricia Nelson

"I WILL Google you. Not one page, five pages of google results." Patricia Nelson

"You can't please everyone. You are not pizza." Anika Arrington

"We betray our readers when we wish away our own voice." Anika Arrington

J Scott Savaage - ANWA 2016 Keynote Address

Birthday Cake, Two Hearts, One Day

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 15:00:00 +0000

Another birthday poem.
This one about cake and heaven and being connected in the best of ways.
Sometimes the best gifts are the unexpected ones.

Two Hearts, One Day

Baking the cake

We will share

Has come to mean more to me

Than flour and eggs

(Though I do love the way vanilla wakes up my kitchen,

The way velvety batter falls into

Reliable and waiting cake pans

Like liquid ribbon.)

It means more to me than mixing and frosting.

This is the cake I will share with my

Not-so-baby girl, born on my birthday.

Reminding me there are no coincidences

In heaven or on earth. That we are connected

Through time and space.

That we share memories and hearts full of love

For the gift of life,

For the best and permanent birthday gift heaven can give.

Previous Birthday Posts

Repost: 19 Things I know on my Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 14:07:00 +0000

Anne Lamott recently posted in advance of her birthday "every single thing" she knew.
I haven't lived as long as she has, and I'm sure I don't know as much as she does. But in keeping with my previous years of posting poems on my birthday, I thought I'd mix it up and write down some things I know. In no particular order. . .

1. When I find myself outside at night, I look up, count a few stars, and let myself feel wonderfully small.

2. I believe in the magic of hugs.

3. Happiness can come quietly, but it can come.

4. I'm not sure if friendship means more to me than anyone else, I just know that I've been blessed with caring friends that have made all the difference in my life.

5. I haven't given up expecting the best possible outcome. For life, for everything.

6. Neither the young or old stay that way for very long. I've learned (the hard way) to slow down and spend time with both in my life.

7. (Mini-rant) People need to stop buying murder--in movies, in TV, in books, in video games, and on and on. In some literature, we can learn from it. In most entertainment, we become desensitized to it. And I think we are beyond desensitized. The national appetite is growing unchecked, unbridled, and what will it take to fill it? What will it take to stop it? Can't we remember our humanity that we are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters?

8. I start making progress when I pray for the ability to forgive as much as I pray to be forgiven.

9. Every now and then I get the sense that marriage is even more grand and sacred than I can imagine.

10. (Mini-rant #2) What's the deal with stilettos? Just say no.

11. The soul is healed by being with children. (Okay Dostoevsky said this, not me, but I believe it.) Let me add here there may be curve on this one. As in: first child in your arms=healing, then all the hectic years=who knows what is happening to your heart, then the last child comes along and likes to give hugs and play "I spy"=healing again.

12. Social media: well I use it, so I can't exactly bash it but I am still a fan of eye contact, hand holding, and hugs, see #2.

13. Prayer and scriptures. They work.

14. Writing is thinking and thinking is living. So Writing=Living.

15. Kindness is the unassuming quality that changes lives and hearts in the economy of a smile, a soft answer, an unexpected visitor, a withheld "I told you so."

16. Read. Read for pleasure, for learning, for research, for adventure, for curiosity. But seriously, read.

17. Most of the people that have been examples to me--created in me a desire to do and be better--weren't trying for that at all.

18. Life is holding on and letting go, happiness is knowing when the right time is for each.

19. When all else fails, take a walk or take a bath or take a trip, as the situation allows.

Previous Birthday Poem Posts

On The Twelfth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 25 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Twelve in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour!

Hope you have a very merry Christmas!

Marianne Sciucco Guest Post

Fill Your New Kindle! The 12 Days of Giveaways

Did you ask Santa for a new Kindle by any chance? If you’ve been a good reader this year you probably got it, and I bet you can’t wait to fill it with an assortment of great new books. If you’re like me that device will soon be bursting at the seams with a treasure trove of titles guaranteed to keep you entertained to infinity and beyond. Seriously, that ereader can hold more books than you can read in a year, in my case a lifetime! I often say I hope I live long enough to make it through my TBR list.

To get you started on building that digital library I invite you to join me and 23 more authors in The 12 Days of Giveaways, an opportunity for you to meet some up and coming new authors, discover great new reads, and win fantastic prizes including ebooks, paperbacks. On each of the twelve days two authors hosted a giveaway on their blogs.

Today is my special day and I’m offering a free Kindle copy of my novel Blue Hydrangeas, an Alzheimer’s love story to anyone who joins my mailing list. Blue Hydrangeas is the sad but beautiful story of a pair of retired Cape Cod innkeepers struggling with Alzheimer’s. Find out why one reader said “I read it twice just to make sure I didn’t miss anything,” and another said “The drama reaches out and grabs you.” I’m pretty sure you’ll love the ending. Sign up here to receive your free book.

Starting tomorrow – December 26 – my short story Collection will be FREE for two days so you can add that to your collection too. Story: A young girl and her family accompany their housepainter father on a trip to collect his wages from a slow-paying customer, and encounter surprising consequences.

To find out what the other authors are offering, curl up on the couch in a fluffy blanket, grab that Kindle and a cup of hot cocoa, and check in with them to see what’s happening:

***

I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[Tara Ellis - http://taraellisauthor.blogspot.com/]

On The Eleventh Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Eleven in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Frances Hoelsema Guest Post

Title is: My Christmas Gift to You!

For those of you not familiar with who I am or my work, I am Frances Hoelsema. I am a wife and work-at-home/homeschooling mom of two boys that has a passion for writing. A few years ago, after I had gotten a kindle and started reading all kinds of different books, I had the bright idea to write my own novel. This wasn't the first time I got an itch to write something, it was just the first time I did something about it.

My favorite type of book to read is romance, the kind that has a happy ending and makes you feel good about love. And that's exactly what my debut novel, Growing Up Neighbors, does.

Here's a blurb: Little Deborah Harrington stared across the street the day the Michaels family moved in. Who was this family? Would she even like them? Nicholas Michaels hated the fact he had to move away from everything and everyone in his life, but his feelings change when he meets the Harringtons. Deborah and Nicholas become the best of friends, and as the children grow up, their friendship deepens. But then tragedy strikes. Will this cause them to part ways? Or will it perhaps make them realize they may have stronger feelings for one another before it's too late?
Growing Up Neighbors will embark you on a journey through various life experiences; the final destination is discovering love.
Christmas is my favorite time of year, and anyone who knows me knows I love to give. So my gift to you this Christmas is a chance to win an autographed paperback copy of Growing Up Neighbors. To enter the contest, please visit this link:

Giveaway

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

***
I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[ Angela Carling - http://angelacarling.blogspot.com/]

On The Tenth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Wed, 23 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Ten in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Valerie Ipson Guest Post

Author Valerie Ipson Offers YA Readers

an Emotional Journey With a Bit of Mystery

in Her Debut Novel, IDEAL HIGH

Available in print and Kindle on Amazon

WIN A FREE AUTOGRAPHED COPY THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON!

DETAILS ON HER BLOG, valerieipson.blogspot.com

From back cover:

There’s no way I’m taking Blake’s place as president of the student body. As soon as the memorial for him and six of our friends is over, I’m resigning as VP. Really.

Except people say the fire was no accident. (I say it’s way too easy to blame someone who’s dead.)

When I read the writing on the wall, literally, the bathroom wall, I know what it means. To get to the truth I have to come out from under my paisley comforter.

But, seriously, what stage of grief says I have to be the one to fix what’s wrong at Ideal High? Maybe I’m the one who’s broken.

I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[ Cassie Sheils - https://www.facebook.com/Cassie-M-Shiels-692384544165255/timeline]

On The Ninth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Tue, 22 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Nine in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Anna del C. Dye Guest Post

On the 9th Day of Christmas an author gave to me . . .

Once Upon Two Kingdoms, a medieval Young Adult Romance.

Hi, I am Anna del C. Dye and I was born in the extreme South along some famous beaches. I grew up with four other siblings, being placed in the middle.

I moved to the USA to marry my husband Rodney and we have resided in Utah since then. My husband, a native of Idaho, met me in my hometown. We fell in love and I came to Utah on Christmas Eve to be married two weeks later. We are the parents of three princes and a princess.

Early on in my life I showed an affinity for sewing and took classes that rewarded me with the opportunities of doing costuming for the cast of five musicals, and for Utah’s own Fantasy Con, which I enjoyed immensely. I am fluent in both English and Spanish. I live in Taylorsville, Utah.

Some of my writing recognitions:

I received the Editor’s Choice Award from the International Library of Poetry and had my article entitled A New American Mother published by Desert Saints Magazine. My short story entitled Amerine—Fairy Princess was won at Oquirrh chapter contest and was published by Kalkion Magazine. (Now it is published as an e-book, entitled Emerine’s Nightmare.) Other articles about family and relationship have been published frequently in the MOMS CLUBÒ of Salt Lake Valley-West. I have published 7 books in my Elf series. Our love story was published by Deseret book in the anthology entitled Angels Round About by July C. Olsen. Another of my articles was included in the book Mother’s Message in a Bottle, edited by Tyler Hayden and published by Ninbus Publishing. The first book of my new series, A Royal Romance, was published in Feb 2015 with the title “Once Upon Two Kingdoms.”

Back Cover Blurb:

Freedom to Choose is Paramount for any human.

An arrangement made when Elizabeth was just a babe ties her to someone she has never met, never spoken to, never loved. Now she desires freedom—a way to choose her own path—her own husband. The moment Elizabeth meets Patrick she knows he is her soul mate. But when you are bound to a crown how is any choice your own?

Link to giveaway: http://annadelc.com/blog/?p=3944

***
I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.
[Peggy Urry - http://peggyurry.blogspot.com/]

On the Eighth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Eight in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Stacy Monson guest post

You can visit Stacy's website here or Facebook Page here

And enter her giveaway here

Visit her blog - I had trouble with the pictures so be sure to check out her site!!

I'm privileged to be part of the 12 Days of Giveaways this Christmas season - a collective of 24 authors writing in a variety of genres, all from a strong faith foundation. Today, the 8th day, it's my turn to take to the podium for the Romance/Mystery group and offer a giveaway (woo hoooo!!). But first – some musings about Christmas.

There's so much focus during the Christmas season on gift-giving. We may agonize over just the right gift to give, or quickly snap up something that we think the recipient might like. We buy wrapping paper by the yards, bows and ribbon, boxes and bags to prepare the gifts we finally decide on. The cost, between the gift itself, the wrapping, and perhaps the shipping, can be astronomical.

While we're busily shopping, perhaps we should pause to consider the cost of Christmas itself. Not the cost of the trappings of the celebration but of the gift that started it all.

The baby in the manger was wrapped in strips of cloth, not expensive foil paper. The night was filled with the songs of the angels, not the latest musical group. The meal would have been simple bread and wine carried miles in their belongings, not a special meal served on delicate china in a warm home with family gathered round.

The financial cost of that first Christmas was minimal but its impact was priceless. The Christ child didn't come to give us material wealth, prestige or worldly acclaim. He came to give us something far more precious - His life. He was born for us so He could die for us. No gift on earth has had that price tag affixed to it. We certainly could never afford it.

But while it cost Him everything, He offers it to us for free. We cannot pay for it, earn it, or repay it. We do not deserve it. But it is the gift He picked out specifically for us, wrapped in glory, offered with love. It's the original gift that keeps on giving. We can unwrap it day after day after day, and it will never run out, never expire, never be taken away. So while you're shopping for that one perfect gift, remember that it's already yours for the keeping and the sharing. In this case, one size truly fits all.

Merry Christmas. Christ is born!

****************

If you'd like to be entered to win an autographed set of books 1 and 2 of the Chain of Lakes Series, leave a comment below and share one of your favorite things about the Christmas season? (Don't make it some lofty "religious" answer - I really want to know what you enjoy!)

Shattered Image: Kiera Simmons’ career as a high-profile fashion model ends abruptly when a failed relationship nearly lands her in jail. Now she forges a quiet life helping teens understand their eternal value in a world saturated with the distorted messages of society.
Peter Theisen is on the fast track to everything the celebrity life promises, with each step of his meteoric rise in the music world orchestrated by his ambitious manager.
Their sweet, unexpected romance is threatened by her past and his future, a life-changing diagnosis, and financial devastation. As they struggle to find their way back to each other, and to the One who matters most, the allure of wealth and fame may jeopardize everything.

Dance of Grace: In one tragic moment, dancer Vanessa Jordan lost her family, her career, and her future. She blames God for destroying everything that mattered.
Kurt Wagner, an ex-con with a second chance at life and faith, aches to shed his past and see his dream of helping teens become reality.
The former dancer and the ex-con form an unlikely alliance to build River House, a safe haven for kids on the street. But when Kurt’s past threatens his dreams and his life, Vanessa becomes a target as well. It will take a stubborn love, the grace of God, and one courageous teen to keep the River House dream alive.

***
I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[Emily Bates - https://bumblesbooks.wordpress.com/giveaway/]

On the Seventh Day of Christmas . . . Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Sun, 20 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Seven in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Brenda Anderson Guest Post

*** See giveaway details below ***

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

I love Christmas season. Even with the tumult going on around the world, hope cannot be taken from us. By celebrating Jesus' birth, we're reminded that we do have a Savior. In our broken world, our messy lives, our tragedies and tears, we always have hope.

In my novel, CHAIN OF MERCY, that's a lesson both the hero and heroine need to learn. Both are broken, both have made terrible choices, and both struggle to find hope with the mess they've made of their lives. Through Christ, they eventually find that hope.

My prayer this Christmas is that, no matter what's going on in your life, you'll look to the One who was born for you. Who loved you so much, He died for you! And then He arose, leaving your sins behind, washing you white as first-fallen snow!

Have a joyous Christmas!

Chain of Mercy

About Chain of Mercy ~

A devastating argument
One reckless decision
An unforgivable sin

Manhattan businessman Richard Brooks was at the top of the world, drunk with success, wealth, and women until one disastrous evening, when his world came crashing down.

Richard flees to Minneapolis where he repairs ancient boilers instead of solving corporate problems, and he’s determined to live the solitary life he now deserves …

Chained to his guilt. Blending in with the gray. No luxuries in sight.

But Executive Sheila Peterson has other plans for the handsome custodian. Richard appears to be the perfect match for the no-strings-attached romance she’s after, but she soon discovers that he’s hiding more than the designer suits in his closet.

About Brenda S. Anderson ~

Brenda S. Anderson writes gritty and authentic, life-affirming fiction. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, and is currently President of the ACFW Minnesota chapter, MN-NICE. When not reading or writing, she enjoys music, theater, roller coasters, and baseball, and she loves watching movies with her family. She resides in the Minneapolis, Minnesota area with her husband of 28 years, their three children, and one sassy cat.

Enter here: a Rafflecopter giveaway

***

I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[Lea Doue - http://www.leadoue.com/blog]

On the Sixth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Sat, 19 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Six in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Kari Trumbo Guest Post

To Honor and Cherish

Western Vows, Book 1
By Kari Trumbo
Genre: Historical Christian Romance

Summary
Meg never complained when her father stipulated in his will that she must marry and have a male heir to own his ranch. That is, until she lost her husband to a spring storm. Now everything that looked secure in her life is as destroyed as the buildings around her.
If the loss of her spouse wasn’t hard enough, she now has to take on the ranch and the new foreman, Jax. He likes to argue with her even more than he likes his job. Meg wants to trust him, but Jax is running from something. He has secrets that could put Meg and the ranch in grave danger.
Can Jax conquer his past and teach Meg what love is really like? Can Meg trust that he wants her for more than just the land?

Ultimately, this story is about listening to God’s will over what others say is right or wrong. God’s will does not change, nor does his love for us. His timing may not fit with our own, but it’s always right

Enter to win a signed print copy of To Honor and Cherish!
at Kari's Facebook Page

Giveaway limited to US residents only, please.

About the Author
Kari Trumbo is a writer of Christian Historical Romance and a stay-at-home mom to four vibrant children. She does freelance developmental editing, blogging, and book reviews. When she isn’t writing or editing, she homeschools her children and pretends to keep up with them. Kari has written two other novels in the Western Vows series and one prequel/novella; all should be released by this time next year. Kari loves reading, listening to contemporary Christian music, singing with the worship team, and curling up near the wood stove when winter hits. She makes her home in central Minnesota with her husband of eighteen years, two daughters, two sons, and four cats.

***

I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[Jennifer Kibble - https://phoenixelement.wordpress.com/]

On the Fifth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Fri, 18 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Five in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

Guest Posting on the blog:

Rachel Skatvold

AJ Harred - http://www.ajharred.wordpress.com

I hope all of you are having a wonderful Christmas season. Now that the weather is turning colder, it is a wonderful time to curl up under a blanket and read a book. So, I’m excited to announce that I will be participating in the 12 Days of Christmas Book Giveaways!

My Giveaway

One eBook copy of my newest release, Beauty Restored

** This giveaway runs from December 14^th- December 31^st**

Enter in the giveaway here!

Book Summary

While volunteering at a youth camp in the Ozark Mountains, Carmen Riley sponsors a challenging group of teenage girls. She longs to make a difference in their lives, but unsettling news from home rattles her confidence. When Carmen meets a charming young pastor, will his wise advice give her the courage she desperately needs?

After discovering that the camp is in danger of closing, Pastor Andrew vows to save it. With Carmen’s help, he rallies a group of sponsors to come up with a plan of action. However, the task could cost him much more than he bargains for.

In a race against time, a common goal unites them, but unforeseen circumstances threaten to tear them apart. Will their relationship and faith in God endure long enough to see Beauty Restored?

About Me

Rachel Skatvold is an inspirational author and stay-at-home mom from the Midwest. She enjoys writing inspirational romance, devotions, encouraging blogs. Rachel has just finished her first series, the Riley Family Legacy Novellas and is now working on her first full length novel, Enduring the Flames. Other than writing, some of her hobbies include singing, reading and camping in the great outdoors with her husband and two young sons.

Places to Connect

Website Facebook Twitter Pinterest

***

I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.

[AJ Harred - http://www.ajharred.wordpress.com]

On the Fourth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Thu, 17 Dec 2015 14:00:00 +0000

This is Day Four in the 12 Giveaways of Christmas Blog Tour.

KJ Traynor Guest Post

Enter to win a signed copy of Necessary Evil:

My name is Madeleine Warwick and I'm a woman under siege.

Several years ago, a treasure hunting reality show resurrected the long-forgotten tale of Civil War treasure buried on my family's property. Ever since, amateur treasure hunters have been trespassing, invading our land. When their negligence cost my uncle his life, I forged a letter to disprove the treasure's existence. This stopped the hunters – but only for a time. Now they are coming back and, what’s worse, my secret has been discovered.

Arrogant Professor Gregory Randall knows about the forged letter, and he can ruin me with one phone call. But he won’t – as long I let him stay on the property to search for the treasure himself. It isn't easy living in the same house as your blackmailer, and there's more to Randall than meets the eye. He’s convinced there’s something to find, and I’m starting to think he might be right.

But even as we race to find the treasure first, the situation is becoming dangerous. Someone is determined to stop us: and they aren't afraid to use violence to do so. I’m running out of ideas, options, and time, and what’s worse, my blackmailer is the only one I can rely on.

My first defense is the last man I can trust.

Enter to win a signed copy of Necessary Evil

About the author:

Killarney Traynor is a writer, singer, actor, and history buff who decided that she wanted to write books as soon as she was old enough to read them. A resident of New Hampshire, her novels her love of local culture, history, and long summer days. When she isn't writing, she can be found day-dreaming about faraway places, watching old movies, reading long books while drinking too much tea, working with a local film company, exploring local attractions, or getting lost in Boston.

Follow Killarney:

Website Twitter Google+ Goodreads Facebook

***
I'm part of the Romance/Mystery group. To visit the authors in the Fantasy group, check the link in the brackets.
[Visit the James Benedetto - http://www.writingdreams.net]

On the Third Day of Giveaways

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 12:58:00 +0000

Ava Mallory Guest Posting

It's giveaway time!

It's day three of the 12 Days of Christmas Book Giveaways and that means it's my day to host a giveaway. Two winners will win an e-copy of my new release 'Tis the Sneezin'!

All you have to do to win is go HERE to enter.

I'm not the only author hosting giveaways on this blog tour. There are plenty of other Sci-fi/Paranormal/Fantasy and Romance/Mystery authors taking part in the festivities.

Here's the list to hop on board this 12 Days of Giveaways train:

Day 1 Monday 12/14/16 -- Britney Mills http://www.writingunblocked.com/2015/12/12-days-of-giveaways-sharechristmas

Tamara Passey http://www.whyigetup.blogspot.com/

Day 2 Tuesday 12/15/15 -- Jason Zandri - https://gunderstone.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/10-prizes-10-winners-author-jason-zandri/

Melanie Mason www.melaniemasonauthor.com

Day 3 Wednesday 12/16/15 -- Nicole Zoltack

Ava Mallory (That's me!)

Day 4 Thursday 12/17/15 -- James D. http://writingdreams.net/?p=4311

KJ Traynor http://www.killarneytraynor.com/wanderings

Day 5 Friday 12/18/15 -- Bron Whitley http://www.ajharred.wordpress.com/

Rachel Skatvold www.rachelskatvold.com

Day 6 Saturday 12/19/15 -- Jennifer Kibble https://phoenixelement.wordpress.com/

Kari Trumbo www.theeditorsnote.com

Day 7 Sunday 12/20/15 -- Lea Doue http://www.leadoue.com/blog

Brenda Anderson http://brendaandersonbooks.com/blog/

Day 8 Monday 12/21/15 -- Emily Bates https://bumblesbooks.wordpress.com/giveaway/

Stacy Monson https://wordpress.com/post/landof10000words.wordpress.com/1337

Day 9 Tuesday 12/22/15 -- Peggy Urry http://peggyurry.blogspot.com/

Anna Del C Dye - http://annadelc.com/blog/?p=3944

Day 10 Wednesday 12/23/15 -- Cassie Sheils - https://www.facebook.com/Cassie-M-Shiels-692384544165255/timeline

Valerie Ipson valerieipson.blogspot.com

Day 11 Thursday 12/24/15 – Angela Carling http://angelacarling.blogspot.com/

Frances Hoelsema www.franceshoelsema.wordpress.com

Day 12 Friday 12/25/15 -- Tara Ellis http://taraellisauthor.blogspot.com/

Marianne Sciucco http://mariannesciucco.blogspot.com/

Hop on board! Meet some fabulous authors and win some great prizes!

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

On the 2nd Day of Christmas an author gave to me . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Tamara) — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 13:38:00 +0000

On the 2nd Day of Christmas an author gave to me . . .

Hello there. My name is Melanie Mason. I am an author, designer, and flight attendant all rolled into one. I graduated from Utah State University with a degree in communications.

I have been telling stories all my life and I find a deep passion in sharing the plots that spin through my head. I hope one day soon I will be working on an airplane and see someone reading on of my books. I'm pretty sure when that day comes I will scream with excitement and probably send my flight crew into a panic. :)

I live in Portland, OR- with my two dachshund chihuahua dogs and the rain - where the beauty of the Pacific Northwest feeds my imagination and the rainy winter evenings encourage me to curl up with hot chocolate and a good book. Or my laptop to write another good book.

My two published books are The Line That Divides, a WW2 historical fiction novel and The Ring of Remaliha. Check out my website for more information: www.melaniemasonauthor.com.
The book that I am offering on this the 2nd day of Christmas is a signed copy of The Ring of
Remaliha. Here's a teaser:

When April Tanner unexpectedly receives an ancient Egyptian ring, she is thrust in the midst of a desperate plot to uncover a treasure that will change the world.

She travels to Egypt only to find herself dodging thieves, assassins, and rich debonair colleagues. Uncovering the secrets of the ring could lead to the treasure . . . or her own tomb.

I look forward to sending a copy to the lucky winner!!! Merry Christmas!!!

Why I Get Up

Hand Picked Fun - Revisited

The First Day of Autumn, Really.

Repost - After the Airport Goodbye

More Than Moods: What's a Mom and Dad to Do?

The first post in this series discussed parenting style—how the attitude and approach of mothers and fathers can affect their children.

This post will highlight two important factors in parenting specific to children: their development and temperament.

DEVELOPMENT

An Important Point about Parenting and Your Child’s Development

TEMPERAMENT

Ten Temperament Traits From the Center for Parenting Education

1. Intensity

2. Activity Level

3. Regularity

4. Quality of Mood

5. Emotional Sensitivity

6. Sensory Sensitivity

7. Adaptability

8. Approach/Withdrawal

9. Distractibility

10. Persistence

Why is Knowing this Important?

So, what’s a mom or dad to do?

Navigate the Series

References:

Resources:

Lies and Punishment: What’s a Mom and Dad to Do?

Lies and Punishment: What’s a Mom and Dad to Do?

Punishment

Lies

So, What’s a Mom and Dad to Do?

Navigate the Series

References:

Resources:

Series Introduction: What's a Mom and Dad To Do?

Series Introduction

If you're a parent and you've spent anytime online or talking with friends and family, you already know parenting opinions are abundant, subject to change, and often contradictory. How do you sort through the confusing advice? What's a mom and dad to do?

This series offers research-based information that can help you navigate a few of the inevitable questions and choices that are part of the adventure of raising your children.

Introducing the NEPEM Model

What exactly is that, you ask?

The who, when, and where this model was published:

A short summary of what it includes:

Click here to read on!

References:

Parenting Style: What's a Mom and Dad To Do?

WHAT'S A MOM AND DAD TO DO?

Parenting Tips for the Modern Family

Let's start with style. No, not your fashions sense, your overall approach to parenting. There are a few styles, and regardless of how aware (or not aware) you are of them and your parenting choices, they make a difference in the life of your child.

Do you know which one is best?

Putting it All Together

The Authoritative Style:

The Authoritarian Style:

The Permissive Style:

The Neglectful Style:

So, what’s a mom or dad to do?

Navigate the Series

References:

After the Airport Goodbye

Resist The Fear, Refuse the Helplessness

Easy to Make Holiday Wreath

I love making wreaths, not that I’m great at it, but I love a pretty wreath. It’s like an art form and though the structure is simple, a round base with some kind of ornamentation for accent, it seems the possibilities are endless. And fun. So I look forward to making a new one when I can.

I made this in less the twenty minutes for under twenty dollars. Now that’s making spirits bright!

The Way We Look At Books

Fall Wreath Non How To - Repost

A Fall Wreath Non-How-To This is a re-post in honor of the first day of autumn. Enjoy!

Quotes and Not-So-Deep Thoughts from the ANWA Conference 2016

Quotes from the wild:

Birthday Cake, Two Hearts, One Day

Repost: 19 Things I know on my Birthday

On The Twelfth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On The Eleventh Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On The Tenth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On The Ninth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On the Eighth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On the Seventh Day of Christmas . . . Another Giveaway

On the Sixth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On the Fifth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On the Fourth Day of Christmas ... Another Giveaway

On the Third Day of Giveaways

On the 2nd Day of Christmas an author gave to me . . .

Ten Temperament Traits

From the Center for Parenting Education

A Fall Wreath Non-How-To

This is a re-post in honor of the first day of autumn.

Enjoy!