Relationship Phoenix : Relations Never Dies

Teach about Faith n Trust n Relationship to your child

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 02:20:00 +0530

It is righteous to say the children are the wet soil ready to nourish the type of cultural seeds we are going to rope in them. Culture has a strong role to play in a character building. If you take care it right now, the fruits will reap sweet, healthy and nourishing others some day.

Trust Seeds

Children always trust their parents, but you need to guide them to parameter TRUST. It should not come blind as in case of parents. The child will always go by you irrespective of you been right or wrong. If you start explaining whom you trust and for what reason, the child will develop the right parameters to trust people. Mistakes can happen, but to trust oneself has to go along.

They should not give their TRUST easily, but once they do.. they need to trust along.

Faith Seeds

"When it comes to spirituality, we parents are just our kids' ambassadors. We can show them around, but we don't need to know everything."

And that exploration is well worth the effort. Miller's research indicates that personal spirituality results in much more than just a nice warm, fuzzy feeling. She says kids who develop a sense of a loving higher power or a guiding force—whether they call it God, creator, Allah or simply "loving universe"—are 80 percent less likely to suffer major depression and 50 percent less likely to suffer from substance abuse as teens.

Relationships

Your relationship with your child is the most important teaching tool.

Teach them how to listen by actively listening to them. Commit to understanding exactly what it is that your children want you to understand and test out that understanding to make sure you got it right. Active listening is about honoring the speaker's intentions, not your own.

Watch your expectations and how you react to their "less than perfect" behaviors. Focus more on what your children do right and respond rather than react to what they do wrong.

Be honest at all times. Teach them the power gained with honesty and integrity. Children know when we're telling them a lot of baloney. Use appropriate language for their age but make it honest and keep it real.

When you make a mistake, own it, apologize, and let them know you'll do better next time. This is a powerful way to role model, taking full responsibility for your feelings.

When you respond in a non-defensive manner, it creates more connection, trust, respect, and effective problem-solving.

When your children make mistakes, remind yourself that no one is perfect and forgive. Use their mistakes as an opportunity for them to learn something new or remember something old. Teach them that forgiveness is really an act of self-love. It enables you to let go and release your energy for more constructive and empowering interactions. Forgiveness is a must in all

Don't take responsibility for their feelings and reactions and never make them feel responsible for yours. Children need to learn how to manage their own feelings without blaming others.

Children also need to know that they are responsible for their actions and its impact but can never take responsibility for healing another person's feelings. People can only do that for themselves.

Life is full of them. Sometimes you have to say "no" even when you want to say yes. Don't try and fix things or make life perfect. Even if you had the power to do so (which you don't), it wouldn't be in their best interest to do so. Learning to deal with disappointment and loss is incredibly important.

Choices replace ultimatums. Understanding this will serve them well in future relationships. Even as adults we need to communicate choices to one another rather than ultimatums. Choices are powerful, ultimatums aren't. It's all in the delivery.

We are always sending subtle or not so subtle messages on who we really want our children to be — what career, hobbies, friends, likes and dislikes — so monitor this and make corrections when needed. Everyone wants to be understood and accepted for who they are. We thrive under these conditions!

Find the ways that feel best for your children and demonstrate your love in the ways that feel best for them. Even when your adolescent is rejecting you, don't dismiss their need for love. Sometimes when we feel the need to push our loved ones away is the very time we want and need them to stay close.

Confronting techniques

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 18:55:00 +0530

Take the Risk of Asking for What You Really Want!

Those of us actively working with the Law of Attraction have learned that the power lies in our ability or willingness to ask for what we really want instead of focusing and complaining about what we don't want. This asking is easier said then done!

Once I got the hang of it, it became fun to ask for what I wanted. I've had a lifelong habit of only asking for what I thought I could have or deserved or could afford. It takes practice to ask for what you want but it takes even more practice to determine what that is after years of habitually accepting "just OK, "good enough", or "it will do".

Sometimes it may take a step that involves confrontation --- what a dreaded word! It conjures up anger, yelling and fighting. No one likes confrontation and yet the unwillingness to confront an unsatisfactory situation compromises desire and gives our heart the message that we don't deserve to have what we really want. However, confrontation doesn't have to be ugly!

My first satisfactory experience was with a restaurant owner who had hired me to help for a 10 day special event. Wilma had agreed to pay me an hourly wage plus I would receive tips from the waitresses. My job would be to handle the cash drawer, hostess, bus tables, wash dishes, restock when needed and help in all areas. I proceeded to show up cheerfully and on time and busted my buns for 10 straight days.

When my paycheck arrived a week later, I was surprised that it was less than I had expected. She had paid me as a waitress instead of the rate we agreed on, which was less than half! OK, now what should I do? I had given her my all and I felt slapped in the face.

So I wrote her a letter explaining what I had understood our agreement to be and returned her little check. I waited but got no reply or phone call. My next move was to show up at the restaurant and confront her. Oh my! The emotions rampaging through me kept me distracted and upset for days, I tell you! I kept reminding myself that I was a professional, a highly qualified, hard working person who deserved to be treated fairly.

She was ready for me when I arrived and she was angry, just as I suspected. I explained that I had done what she asked, but I remained calm and confident. She told me rudely that I hadn't been worth it. Since I knew that wasn't true, I calmly told her that I was sorry she felt that way, but she didn't get to make that decision after the fact. If she thought I wasn't doing a good job, she'd had plenty of opportunities in that 10 days tell me so. In the face of her anger and belittling remarks, I managed to stand in my truth while allowing her to say and feel whatever she wanted. I didn't try to change her mind and I didn't get sidetracked into a fight.

That first successful confrontation was a delicate dance and the key was managing my own words and emotions, not hers. The outcome was a softening in her and I sensed respect. She ended by offering to write me a new check at the correct wage but I told her no, I wanted a win/win outcome and I would be happy to accept minimum wage since I did receive generous tips and much gratitude from the waitresses. That saved her about a dollar an hour and I could tell that she was surprised and slightly confused. I, however, felt wonderfully satisfied with the resolution of the situation!

The key points that brought this successful resolution were:

my willingness to stand up for myself and ask for what I wanted
self-review to feel fully confident that I deserved to be treated fairly
my determination to manage my own emotional state while allowing her to be, do, say or feel whatever she wanted
my sincere desire to create a win/win outcome
That experience with Wilma has set the standard for me and I've used this model to confront other situations with great results. So go ahead, decide and then ask for what you really want, make sure you feel that you truely deserve it, manage your emotions with calm confidence, plan for the best possible outcome for all concerned and poof! You shall have it!

Smile for No Good Reason

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 16:13:00 +0530

Have you ever noticed that two people can confront the same circumstances with very different reactions? This is a matter of attitude and nothing else. Freedom is being able to say, "Rich or poor, alone or with a mate, physically healthy or not, employed or laid off, I believe that peace of mind is possible."

We have all experienced what it is like to be having a perfectly fine day and have a situation or crisis arise that sends us into a tailspin. It may be something small like a traffic jam making us late, or something more severe like the loss of a job. Our response can seem automatic.

Though at first it may be difficult to accept, freedom depends on recognizing that you're not upset because of what occurred, you are upset because of how you perceive the situation. Key to Attitudinal Healing is recognizing that you are not a victim of the world.

Another way of saying this is: There is absolutely nothing in the world that has the power to ruin your day. If you are upset, it is because you have directed your mind to be so. Initially these truths can be hard to accept because you have become so accustomed to giving your power away. Every time you blame another person for your unhappiness you are giving your power away. Stop blaming and start healing.

How you perceive a situation will determine your experience and your reaction. Let's imagine that you have a favorite coffeehouse that you frequent. The staff knows your name and always has a warm and friendly greeting as you walk through the door. An extremely grumpy woman whom you have never seen before serves you this particular morning. She appears preoccupied rather than caring about you or what she is doing. As she pours your hot coffee a good portion spills in your lap. Despite your jumping in shock, no apology follows. Your experience is anger: both toward the waitress and the owner, Joe, for hiring such an incompetent person. Then, a friend of yours at the next booth says, "Isn't it great that Joe hired her!"

"Great! Are you out of your mind? She just spilled hot coffee in my lap and walked away," you reply with your best indignant voice.

"Oh, you didn't hear the story?" your friend whispers.

"What story?" you angrily reply, still drying off your new slacks, wondering how you will go through the day looking as though you wet your pants.

"Yeah, Joe didn't know her from Adam. He read in the paper that her husband had died last month in a car accident. Apparently her husband's health insurance stopped, and she was looking for another job in order to pay for her sixteen-year-old son's chemotherapy for leukemia," your friend responds.

Now, you still have hot coffee in your crotch, but are you still angry? Unlikely. The only thing that shifted was your perception and attitude. Through discovering a reason to be compassionate, your entire experience changed—and there are always reasons to be compassionate.

An important part of healing (i.e., letting go of fear) is developing compassion. Instead of going out in the world and finding plenty of reasons to be upset, go out and discover reasons to extend love. There are thousands of reasons waiting for you right now. A helpful thought to remember is that a miracle is nothing more than allowing an old grievance to become a current compassion.

If you ever run short on reasons to be compassionate, remember there is always one good reason: It makes you feel better than anything else you could do.

by Dr. Lee Jampolsky

Cultivate good habits in your kid through movies

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Thu, 17 May 2012 13:53:00 +0530

Moving pictures has always been catchy for children. They tend to carve their behavior by looking and acting like the iconic hero which they start to be lenient with. They might like the dress, the catchy dialogue, or the visual presentation of the hero or a villain neglecting the motive each character is made of. It’s become very important for parents to select what they are feeding in their kid absorbing mind. Here are the 6 inspirational Hollywood films which you should show to your kids.

For Number One I have the movie “Antz” a movie that shows us to work as a team. It shows however small part we may have what matter most is the team outcome of that small-small effort we all put to make things happen. It shows never ever to give up the dream, never ever accept failure and to the most never stand low to a friend call when he/she in need. The cinematography has been brilliant cascading each shade of lives of an ant. Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Jennifer Lopez, Sylvester Stallone, Dan Aykroyd, Anne Bancroft, Gene Hackman, Christopher Walken, and Danny Glover bring this movie more near to our realistic world by putting their known voices to respective characters. An ant that never is known by its size but by its colony, never by the muscles but by the weight it can pull over, the togetherness they have, the most the UNITY.

Next on the list would be Forest Gump. A story of boy who threw away the metals wrapping his leg to walk for the run that he was so determined to run. It’s a story of a person who stand for friends, has a strong will power and may whatever the circumstances be, he never throw his life for chance but makes the best out of it. The director has done a wonderful job in making the story. This story will make your kid self confident one to stand up to any challenges this world has kept for him/her.

Next in my list at number three is the movie Dumbo. A storyline written by Helen will give your child wings to imagine without any boundaries. He doesn’t have to be logical every time. He has to learn that it’s the illogical dreams that carve the innovation. He has to understand that its’ not the physical appearance rather it’s the mental strength one has to accept things as it is and bring out the best out of it. He has to learn to put faith in herself/himself and to the parents as they will be the one who will take the first blow from whatever until the kid has grown up to take one on one.

At number four in my list stands the movie is the “Lion King” an American animated musical adventure film produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation and released by Walt Disney Pictures. The movie will show your kids the importance of having friends in one’s life to share, to grow, and to enjoy the life. The mantra of “Hakuna Mataataa” has to come up from timon and pumba in their super way.

“Finding Nemo” written and directed by Andrew Stanton, produced by Pixar Animation Studios, and released by Walt Disney Pictures is at number 5 in my list. As a parent we are always caring about our kid but sometimes it’s not helpful for our kid growth. You can teach her/him to put faith on family that they will be there for them in whatever the circumstances would be. It’s about telling them how to overcome their fear by trying things, failing and bounce back again for the try. It’s about trusting kids that the things that they are telling. He may be speaking insane but it’s our duty as a parent to be a good listener. The movie is about a small clownfish nemo who is been overprotected by his father Marlin. The son is been abducted and Marlin swims miles to find his son. The journey is full of drama, comedy and discoveries. A must watch for all.

For my sixth position selection the movie that qualified is the “Toy Story” which is also the first ever movie made entirely with CGI. Author director John Lasseter brings out the best of the characters in the movie and with voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen movie becomes an enormous hit. The movie portrays the emotions of the toys and their possessiveness towards their master. How beautifully the emotions like friendship, togetherness, leadership, possessiveness, love, care and so much has bubbled in this movie.

These movies are what your child will easily co-relate her/him to and cultivate themselves with the character of their heroes. If we help them a little with selection they will surely be perceiving things much faster we ever imagine. We can only say oh they grew so fast as time will fly but if we feed them right with what they learn and interact; they sure will turn up great in all manner. Do show them these movies for a beautiful future and a hell lot of entertainment.

Swap Shoes

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:25:00 +0530

If you feel the need to say or do something, yet your primary concern is not putting your foot in things/causing trouble/upsetting someone/letting sleeping dogs lie, consider first if the roles were reversed. Would you want someone to inform you, and if YES, how would YOU want to hear it?
There are three ways of pointing something out to someone.

1) There's the abrupt way, which will raise hackles and defences. This can have it's value. As behind ones defences things still sink in and depending on the person may or may not be acted upon. If the person is surrounded by fears, this approach can cause retreat and arguments.

2) There's the subtle way, making suggestions, yet not really getting to the point and just hoping that the person will get the hint. This too can have its value, as all things are absorbed in time. Eventually that person will think things were their idea!

3) The honest approach, saying 'Look, I don't want to interfere but feel I must just say this'.
Be sincere, understand who they are and if you remain calm, if you can refrain from making any judgements and criticisms of that person, then honesty can have immediate power. ... Do be careful that you are being truly honest though, be sure that what you are suggesting isn't about YOU, for your benefits of motives, otherwise it can easily turn into the abrupt approach and cause more agro. Be aware that no one likes to be judged or told what to do.

Honesty, truly is the best policy...

Appreciation

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:23:00 +0530

Appreciation and Gratefulness can counteract sadness, grief and feelings of hopelessness.
Sadness and Hopelessness are emotional feelings which cloud a lot of our decisions, we loose the will to want to get things done. Yet, those things we do manage to accomplish we do half-heartedly.
It's hard to know how to pull yourself out of feeling this way, we seem almost content to sit amongst our troubles. We do not have the will or the effort to want to pull ourselves out of it. Though, it is NOT impossible.

Life goes on, you can decide whether you are going to walk along with your head held high, run along as fast as you can, or be dragged along (because time waits for no man, and time moves forward regardless).
The first simple steps involve a level of appreciation and gratefulness. So, before your bemoan 'What do I have to feel grateful about' ...remember...

Thank you all readers for the love and support.. happy reading...

Bereavement

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:14:00 +0530

Losing someone close to you through death is never an easy time. Our responses to death vary person to person. Death can feel unfair, it can come as a shock or as a knowing end to a painful disease.
Our focus is constantly on that person no longer being in our life and at times we simply want to curl up and forget the rest of the world even exists.

We often go over and over things we wish we had have done or said, our emotions are all over the place. Something very small can trigger us into an endless stream of tears.
If we do not allow ourselves to grieve at the time; it will effect us later in life.
Feel your emotions
It is important to allow yourself to cry, you are allowed to feel angry, sad, confused, devastated. It is important to allow yourself to feel what the loss means to you.

Denying yourself this means that it will take you a lot longer to come to terms with things.
Your emotions are an extremely VALID and important starting point for dealing with your loss.
So be angry if you need to be. Vent, shout, scream (but do so in a private place and do not direct this at one else).If you feel confused, allow yourself some time. Accept that you don't need to 'rush' to put your life back together.

Just KNOW that you will.The emotional pain that we feel can at times be completely overwhelming, it can hurt so much that we wish we could 'trade places'.
It is very important to address all the reasons and situations where you feel loss. If it helps to talk, do not feel embarrassed to book an appointment with a trained counsellor or from joining a support group. Other family members may also wish to join you, or talk to you. Or to even hold your hand and cry with you.
If you find talking to other people too difficult to do. Buy yourself a journal and write.
The important thing to remember, whether you are talking or writing is to address all the aspects of your loss. Talking often leads to you going around and around, over and over the same things, Writing however enables you to fully clear your mind.

Write down all the reasons that person meant so much to you. Write down the things you loved, and do not be afraid to write down all the things that annoyed you too. Write about the plans you had that you never had a chance to do and why you were looking forward to doing those things with that particular person. Address all the things which you wish you could say to that person if they were sat with you now, or if they could come back for just 10 minutes more, what would you say to them.
Address too, what you would like to hear from them.

We always wish we could have said Goodbye. So write a letter to say goodbye.
Getting things out, addressing all these repressed feelings WILL be a difficult and emotional time, so turn off your phone and allow yourself this special time to grieve. However, by addressing all these aspects you will be expressing yourself and you will hopefully be able to stop the thoughts whirring through your head.
Whenever you feel the need, whenever you need to simply write about this person. Do so.
If you can't put pen to paper, online anonymous journals or blogs, are a great way to get things out. They can be public or private so no one else needs to read your thoughts unless you want them to.
If you wish you or someone else had done more to help a loved one suffering; write it down.

If you need help; ask
It is important to keep those around informed as to how you are feeling. If you want to be left alone; tell them. If you want to talk to them; tell them. If you need time off work; speak to your boss. If you need advice; seek it.
Don't push people away because you think they won't understand. If some one you turn to doesn't give you the support you need; seek support from another family member or a support group.
There is no right or wrong way, and addressing how you feel may take a long or short time. it may help a lot, it may not help at all.

A significant emotion when death occurs is anger. It is important to address any anger that you feel.
We get angry at doctors and nurses, we get angry at ourselves, we get angry at other people involved in the death, we search high and low for someone to blame but because accepting death as a natural part of life is just impossible.
Sometimes, We feel depressed, and we start neglecting ourselves and those around us. It is important to also think about what this person would say to you about the 'state' you are in, should they be alive. Would they be shouting 'C'mon enough already' or would they be shouting 'I want to see you suffer more please!'
Try to feel the qualities that person brought to your life around you IN your daily life in a positive aspect. If you find yourself in a store and see something which reminds you of them, try to smile and think 'You would have loved that' instead of focusing on the loss.

The life that person lived was a special one, they brought to your life a lot of special memories and feelings too - yet they have also taught you who they are. Deep within you, you know their values and when you need to; you can bring their thoughts and opinions back into your life whenever you need to.
Celebrate the life they have lived and all the good things that they gave to. Laugh about the bad times with affection and more importantly, live your life and be happy, as death comes to all of us and it's just been shown to us that life is too short to be unhappy. Life is too short for regrets and troubles.

Aromatherapy
Scents for calming grief include:- Bergamot, chamomile, jasmine, rose, neroli

Indifference - healing from inside

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Fri, 2 Mar 2012 16:25:00 +0530

Indifference is not ignorance, To be indifferent means you've built a strong wall to prevent yourself from expressing how you truly feel, which in turn stops you fully experiencing what stands before you.
Indifference is :-

Saying to yourself 'It doesn't matter' when deep down it does.
Holding back on your true emotional responses.
Being or feeling unable to express your emotions.
Feeling void of emotion.
Lack of energy to create enthusiasm for something.
Not being the true you.
Holding back on your true feelings.
Indifference is not :-
Truly not caring on an outcome is not indifference. It means you've already decided that neither outcome is preferable.
Unconcern, the situation and/or outcome has not effect on you or your life. Again, you've decided that 'this' has no reason to be in your life.

When you've made a fully informed decision based truly on your thoughts and feelings, you can not display indifference.

Indifference, is the inability or fear of expressing your true feelings and thoughts, which leads to building an invisible brick wall between you and what stands before you.
Indifference is not ignorance. Ignorance is the absence of information, absence of wanting information, and absence of response from information.
It doesn't matter
We are afraid to reveal our innermost thoughts in case of failure to reach what we desire.
I don't care, It doesn't matter, Whatever...
Yet deep down you're thinking, actually I'd prefer... to be honest I'd like... I hope...
If you honestly can not reveal your true feelings to someone about the situation, then at least be kind to yourself and tell yourself.
You'll find that once you are clear on your own feelings that you'll be less afraid to let snippets of information leek out into your actions and thoughts. Once you are clear on how you feel, you'll find the impetus to want to talk, to want to express.
Holding back/lack of emotional expression
What are you afraid of?
When you hold back or do not express your emotions. You are hurting yourself. If you can't express who you are in your life, then you are not being yourself.
If you are not being yourself then who the hell are you?
We hold back when we are afraid of other peoples responses. Why? Why be afraid of being who you are? Isn't it more responsible to be honest with yourself?
Appearing emotionless
No one is without emotions.
It's just sometimes we don't know how to express ourselves, or are unsure as to how we feel.
Dig down inside yourself to find out the truth.
Apathy
Apathy is a whole new chapter at some point in the future.
However, briefly apathy is the feeling of dis-interest in everything or something. It can be quite severe and cause depression.
Start small, find one thing which would/may spark something within you.
Interacting with indifferent people
Quite often we say 'they don't care', this is our wish that 'they do care' - so figure out why it is so important to you.
Before you state someone is being indifferent, first look to see why you feel this way.
We all know a 'joker' someone who makes light of everything you say to them, we all know loud people who seem to take everything in their strides. Remember, everyone has thoughts and feelings and no-one is void of emotions, even if they appear to be.
Clearing indifference...
At times, we all act indifferent. We try to remain calm when really what we want to do is shout or scream or throw a tantrum. We try not to reveal what we feel as we are afraid or embarrassed as to what someone may think about us.
Be sure that what you say has some relevance to how you truly feel, be sure that you fully understand why you feel the way that you do.
It may take some practice to be honest about how we feel. Especially implementing it in our daily life, we get so used to hiding what we truly feel, it becomes a habit.
Believe in yourself, understand and you'll find that feelings of indifference will clear. So long as you are honest with yourself, truly honest as to how you feel.

Happy Reading.. Relationship Never Dies

heart wall : Concerns

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:23:00 +0530

1. What is the heart wall?

Have you ever wondered why your relationships never last or why you feel like you have financial blocks to success? What Dr. Bradley Nelson had discovered is that 8 out of 10 of us build something around our heart called a "Heart Wall". What happens is that there are trapped emotions that create a wall around our heart, which blocks us from living life to its fullest.

2. Why is removing it so important?

This is a wall that seemingly protects us from getting hurt. It actually may protect us to some degree from heartache and heartbreak. However, it closes us off from building effective relationships with everyone we come in contact with including our "true love".

3. Why would I want to remove it?

By releasing this wall you will notice that your relationships will improve and you will feel more centered and balanced. For some, they finally find their one and only true love. Others may see doors open that lead them to financial success that were previously closed. Releasing the heart wall could actually change your life as you know it.

4. How do I remove or release this wall?

Any emotion code practitioner can release all of the trapped emotions that make up this wall by locating and releasing all of the trapped emotions by using "Applied Kinesiology" or "Muscle Testing". It normally takes anywhere from 3 to 5 sessions to remove it.

5. Is it painful to remove it?

The majority of the time you will feel no pain. However, after each session you could possibly feel emotional, a mild headache, or fatigue.

6. Once this wall is removed, what can I expect?

For some it is very obvious, your relationships change immediately. Maybe people are drawn to you when they were not before. Maybe you are willing to do things you were not open to before. For others, it is not as obvious. However, when you are in the middle of your daily living you will notice the change. For instance, when my heart wall was removed I did not notice a change for over a month. I finally became aware of the change, when I didn't get emotional at the thought of my mother's passing any longer. I realized my depression had subsided and felt more balanced with life. I felt more at peace.

7. Once my wall is removed, will it come back later?

The trapped emotions that were released that formed the wall will be gone forever. However, new trapped emotions could possibly form a new wall. My experience shows that it is rare that you form another wall. If you do form another wall, there isn't but a few trapped emotions to release and will probably only take 1 short session.

It is time to enjoy life when this wall has been removed and live life to its fullest to include finding the "love of your life" or financial success. If you have not experienced life without your heart wall, it is time. I wish you the very best!

Leading with Passion...

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:35:00 +0530

Light a match in a dark room and watch as the light instantly overcomes the darkness. Observe the power and grace of that single, solitary flame dancing with life. Now light several candles or kindle a fire and experience the added warmth and comfort extending from that first, vulnerable flame through others. This is the heart and soul of leadership - the essence of inspiring others. It is about courageously casting off fear, doubt and limiting beliefs and giving people a sense of hope, optimism and accomplishment. It is about bringing light into a world of uncertainty and inspiring others to do the same. This is what we call passion, the fire within.

Passion is a heartfelt energy that flows through us, not from us. It fills our hearts when we allow it to and it inspires others when we share it. It is like sunlight flowing through a doorway that we have just opened. It was always there. It just needed to be accepted and embraced. Under the right conditions, this "flow" appears effortless, easy and graceful. It is doing what it is meant to do. It is reminding us that we are meant to be purposeful. We are meant to be positive. We are meant to be passionate. We feel this when we listen to and accept our calling in life. We feel it as inspiration when we open the door of resistance and let it in.

Inspiration springs forth when we allow ourselves to be "in-spirit," aligned with our true essence. Stop and think about it: When you feel truly passionate and inspired about someone or something, what frame of mind are you in? What are you willing to do? What kind of effort are you willing to put forth? How fearful are you? Chances are, you feel motivated to do whatever it takes, without fear or doubt, to turn your vision into reality. You grow in confidence. You believe you can do it. You are committed from the heart and soul.

Loved this book by John J. Murphy

Avoid worrying about the future

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:35:00 +0530

In her memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert writes about a friend who, whenever she sees a beautiful place, exclaims in a near panic, "It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday!" "It takes all my persuasive powers," writes Gilbert, "to try to convince her that she is already here."

Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now. We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week." We eat a cookie and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies."

Instead, relish or luxuriate in whatever you're doing at the present moment—what psychologists call savoring. "This could be while you're eating a pastry, taking a shower, or basking in the sun. You could be savoring a success or savoring music," explains Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside and author of The How of Happiness. "Usually it involves your senses."

When subjects in a study took a few minutes each day to actively savor something they usually hurried through—eating a meal, drinking a cup of tea, walking to the bus—they began experiencing more joy, happiness, and other positive emotions, and fewer depressive symptoms, Schueller found.

Why does living in the moment make people happier—not just at the moment they're tasting molten chocolate pooling on their tongue, but lastingly? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." The hallmark of depression and anxiety is catastrophizing—worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and might not happen at all. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future—and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away.

The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly about events in the past. And again, if you press your focus into the now, rumination ceases. Savoring forces you into the present, so you can't worry about things that aren't there.
Happy Reading... more ..

Leading with Passion

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Thu, 5 May 2011 18:35:00 +0530

Are you a passionate and effective leader?

Do you walk the talk?

Do you know how to bring out the very best in those around you?
Achieving the goals you set for your organization goes beyond creating year-end objectives. It takes a passionate leader to inspire others to go beyond the norm...and the discipline necessary to measure performance and to challenge both you and your team to reach new heights.

Leading with discipline requires motivation and effort. It is easy to say we are going to do something. It is quite another to let our actions speak for themselves. It is common to dream. It is less common to turn those dreams into something beneficial, something truly inspiring.

Leading with discipline requires initiative, action and stewardship. This means taking the required steps, doing the homework, working with others, committing to service and following through. It means accepting a certain degree of risk and sacrifice to challenge oneself and raise the bar.

Discipline means showing up early, staying late and doing whatever is ethically necessary to get the job done well and on time. Discipline means saying "no" to negative thinking and disempowering actions and saying "yes" to getting involved and being part of the solution. Discipline means going the extra mile, where there is typically less traffic.

When we act with discipline, we demonstrate care, concern and dependability. We account for ourselves, our teammates and our results.

Leading with discipline requires setting goals and establishing measurement. With effective goals and metrics, we set expectations, assess performance and make adjustments as needed. Without access to the score, we lose the means to accurately measure performance against standards and evaluate progress.

Setting goals and keeping score is motivating. Consider any sport as an example. Without clear goals and score-keeping, the sport can quickly lose momentum and enthusiasm. Often, it becomes boring. However, when a scoreboard lights up and the clock is ticking, the same physical requirements take on new meaning. Something within us lights up. We want to perform well. We want to set a new record. We want to do better than we did before. The simple act of setting goals and measuring performance is a powerful strategy for leading with passion and discipline. It triggers the heart as well as the mind.

Within every passionate leader is a deep sense of conviction. Goals are set to drive focus and accountability. Metrics are in place to assess balance and performance. Heartfelt commitment is embodied to fuel courage, initiative and action. There is a keen sense of discernment, responsibility and decisiveness. Work gets done on time. Good habits are formed. Bad habits are broken. Balance is maintained within and among tasks, activities and relationships, resulting in a sense of harmony and oneness. Think of this like conducting an orchestra. Without discipline, each functional unit could play at will, resulting in a great deal of noise. The passionate leader teaches the value of discipline, timing, practice, participation, patience, teamwork, measurement, and balance. Together, we can make beautiful music, but it does require discipline as an essential habit.

Take a moment now - a moment of discipline - to evaluate your own habits and tendencies. What do they tell you about your sense of passion and leadership? Are you actions inspiring? Do you finish what you start? Do you set clear, specific, measurable goals? Do you keep score, and if so what specifically do you track? Are you holding yourself and your team accountable for performance? Are you stretching yourself and your team to rise to new heights? Are you identifying obstacles to peak performance and removing them? Are you pulling the weeds?

To achieve more...

Turn problems into solutions

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Mon, 2 May 2011 13:15:00 +0530

I find joy!

You can live each day in a world filled with "problems," or rise each morning and embrace a world filled with unseen solutions... eager for you to find them. The decision is yours...both worlds exist. The one you choose is the one you will create.

Just click here to watch the Pink Bat movie.

India bonded together against corruption - Its our call now...

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Fri, 8 Apr 2011 13:40:00 +0530

Common guys, what are we doing? Egypt has shown us what unity can do. This is the time to show what we, the people of India can do if they decide. Let's support this 72 years old man and show some respect to his commitment and our country.

Every second 2 tweets on Tweeter; more than 1 lack people supporting from Facebook and other social networking sites. Are you one of them? Ask this question to yourself.

World cup is over now. So what? New World Cup has started. And I'm in being an proud Indian.

Civil society's battle against corruption acquired its sharpest edge ever on Tuesday as veteran social activist Anna Hazare began a fast unto death at the capital's landmark Jantar Mantar demanding greater public role in the Anti-Corruption Bill (Lokpal Bill), which has now been considered and put aside by successive regimes for the last 42 years.

Anna Hazare ignored several pleas of the government to defer his fast as he stood firm on his demand for a joint committee comprising government and civil society leaders to rework the current draft Lokpal Bill. He maintained that the current Bill covering only politicians was inadequate as politicians often colluded with officials to indulge in corruption.

Hazare wants the Lokpal's office to subsume the CVC so that both political leaders and officials come under its ambit as well as the judiciary. He also wants the Lokpal to have police powers — that is, to not just be a recommendatory body but an effective office that can file FIRs, chargesheet the accused and file cases. Hazare and other activists have been demanding for the Prime Minister's Office to come within the ambit of the Lokpal.

It appears that the 72-year-old activist's protest is taking the contours of a popular movement. Thousands of people, including students, teachers, artistes, retired government officers and activists, joined Anna at Jantar Mantar to lend him support. On the Net, support for Anna is already a viral movement. Unless the government concedes to the demand, this support is only likely to grow.

See how Lokpal Bill can curb the politicians,

Existing System	System Proposed by civil society
No politician or senior officer ever goes to jail despite huge evidence because Anti Corruption Branch (ACB) and CBI directly come under the government. Before starting investigation or initiating prosecution in any case, they have to take permission from the same bosses, against whom the case has to be investigated.	Lokpal at centre and Lokayukta at state level will be independent bodies. ACB and CBI will be merged into these bodies. They will have power to initiate investigations and prosecution against any officer or politician without needing anyone’s permission. Investigation should be completed within 1 year and trial to get over in next 1 year. Within two years, the corrupt should go to jail.
No corrupt officer is dismissed from the job because Central Vigilance Commission, which is supposed to dismiss corrupt officers, is only an advisory body. Whenever it advises government to dismiss any senior corrupt officer, its advice is never implemented.	Lokpal and Lokayukta will have complete powers to order dismissal of a corrupt officer. CVC and all departmental vigilance will be merged into Lokpal and state vigilance will be merged into Lokayukta.
No action is taken against corrupt judges because permission is required from the Chief Justice of India to even register an FIR against corrupt judges.	Lokpal & Lokayukta shall have powers to investigate and prosecute any judge without needing anyone’s permission.
Nowhere to go - People expose corruption but no action is taken on their complaints.	Lokpal & Lokayukta will have to enquire into and hear every complaint.
There is so much corruption within CBI and vigilance departments. Their functioning is so secret that it encourages corruption within these agencies.	All investigations in Lokpal & Lokayukta shall be transparent. After completion of investigation, all case records shall be open to public. Complaint against any staff of Lokpal & Lokayukta shall be enquired and punishment announced within two months.
Weak and corrupt people are appointed as heads of anti-corruption agencies.	Politicians will have absolutely no say in selections of Chairperson and members of Lokpal & Lokayukta. Selections will take place through a transparent and public participatory process.
Citizens face harassment in government offices. Sometimes they are forced to pay bribes. One can only complaint to senior officers. No action is taken on complaints because senior officers also get their cut.	Lokpal & Lokayukta will get public grievances resolved in time bound manner, impose a penalty of Rs 250 per day of delay to be deducted from the salary of guilty officer and award that amount as compensation to the aggrieved citizen.
Nothing in law to recover ill gotten wealth. A corrupt person can come out of jail and enjoy that money.	Loss caused to the government due to corruption will be recovered from all accused.
Small punishment for corruption- Punishment for corruption is minimum 6 months and maximum 7 years.	Enhanced punishment - The punishment would be minimum 5 years and maximum of life imprisonment.

Join the cause...

I am there are you ...

Cricket World Cup 2011 - Bond Unbroken amid Indians

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Sun, 3 Apr 2011 11:50:00 +0530

Mumbai, (AFP): India captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni admitted he took a World Cup final gamble on Saturday, a high-stakes strategy which paid dividends with a first world title since 1983. He included wayward seamer Shanthakumaran Sreesanth instead of steady spinner Ravichandran Ashwin and pushed himself up the batting order where he made an unbeaten 91.

Call him dhoni .Maahi, The Gambler but he has done something incredible that we Indians are never gonna forget. He has created a strong bond amongst the payers of different state into one single nation INDIA...

Relationship Successful shares...

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 12:08:00 +0530

There are certain traits inside successful peoples that have made it possible for them to exist above the level of simple survival. Are there any particular characteristics they all share that are the basis of their accomplishment? A deeper insight into their lives will show that they have some things in common.

They dream big: All people who have touched the zenith of success have an inspiring dream that motivates them to move ahead into the future. They don't limit themselves to mere words like "realistic" or "possible". They go beyond them. They dream as big as they can and adjust their dream with an organized plan as they progress. They clearly distinguish between perception and reality. As Dhirubhai Ambani, who showed that nothing is truly unattainable for those who dream big, once said, "You should dream big, but dream with your eyes open."

They think outside the box: All people who have touched the zenith of success have an inspiring dream that motivates them to move ahead into the future. They don't limit themselves to mere words like "realistic" or "possible". They go beyond them. They dream as big as they can and adjust their dream with an organized plan as they progress. They clearly distinguish between perception and reality.

They learn from failures: As we go through life, we're going to make mistakes. But those mistakes provide us with a great opportunity to find a lesson and learn from it. Former President of India Dr. APJ Abdul KalamI once said, "I have gone through many successes and failures. I learnt from failures and hardened myself with courage to face them. This was my second stage, which taught me the crucial lesson of managing failures." Dr. Kalam's contribution to India's defence capabilities is very significant.
They create and seize opportunities:A man of success is the one who has the ability to create and seize opportunities to act on a goal. Successful people don't wait for opportunities to knock at their door. They go and create opportunities for themselves and whenever they come across any, they seize it to make full use of it.
They never say 'die' :All people face challenges in life, but unlike others, successful people deal with situations with one view: Do it again if they are fail at their previous attempts. They don't tolerate flaws; they keep on working on them until they fix them.
They take up responsibility:Those who are really successful don't hesitate to take up responsibilities. They don't worry about blames or waste time complaining. They truly believe in making decisions and moving on. They take initiatives and accept the responsibilities of success.
They take calculated risks:All successful people inherently do take calculated risks all the time. They always assess what kind of a risk they are going to take. They know it well that risk taking doesn't mean jumping headlong into something that they don't know.
They are solution focused:Successful people look for solutions and when they are focused on a solution, the rest of the world seems to disappear until they stop. They don't simply stop at finding or pointing out at a problem. They move ahead and look for better solutions for that particular problem.
They review and celebrate successes, even small ones:Success matters a lot for successful people and they don't forget to celebrate for successes even if they are small. They truly believe that even the smallest success builds into the big picture. They list all the small steps they took that worked well or that they are pleased about. As Warren buffet, the legendary investor, says, "In the business world, the rear view mirror is always clearer than the windshield".
They ask the right questions:The simple "Why?" when asked about five times can help us get to the root cause of many problems. All successful people ask the right questions and try to find out the causes the put them in a productive, creative, positive mindset and emotional state. According to Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, risk is stepping outside your comfort zone to a place where you cannot predict with any degree of certainty the outcome of your actions. Risk is taking on something that holds an enormous chance of failure. Most importantly, risk is the only key to outrageous success.

So go ahead and win the world...

Happy Reading...

By Kukil Bora, SiliconIndia

If Life is a Game...These are the Rules

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Wed, 5 Jan 2011 15:07:00 +0530

Life has often been compared to a game. We are never told the rules, unfortunately, nor given any instructions about how to play. We simply begin at "go" and make our way around the board, hoping we play it right. We don't exactly know the objective of playing, nor what it means to actually win.
That is what Ten Rules for Being Human is all about. These are the guidelines to playing the game we call life, but they are also much more than that. These Rules will provide you with a basic spiritual primer for what it means to be a human. They are universal truths that everyone inherently knows but has forgotten somewhere along the way. They form the foundation of how we can live a fulfilling, meaningful life.
Each Rule presents its own challenge, which in turn provides certain lessons we all need to learn. Every person on the planet has his or her own set of lessons to learn that are separate and unique from everyone else's, and these lessons, as you will see in Rule Four, will reappear until they are mastered.
The Ten Rules for Being Human are not magic, nor do they promise ten easy steps to serenity. They offer no quick fix for emotional or spiritual ailments, and they are not fast track secrets to enlightenment. Their only purpose is to give you a road map to follow as you travel your path of spiritual growth.
These Rules are not mandates, but rather guidelines as to how to play the game. There is nothing you absolutely must do. I hope this book will help you to become more aware of them. By learning the valuable lessons and wisdom they offer, your journey on the Earth might just a bit easier.
by Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D

Wisdom of Wolves

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 16:29:00 +0530

Just wanted to share this...

Twyman Towery, Ph.D., a professional speaker and consultant who studied the lessons of leadership in nature, has captured them in a book for Simple Truths called Wisdom of Wolves. Twyman shares the parallels between the wolf pack and human behavior...in business life, family life, and personal life.

The attitude of the wolf can be summed up simply: it is a constant visualization of success. The collective wisdom of wolves has been progressively programmed into their genetic makeup throughout the centuries. Wolves have mastered the technique of focusing their energies toward the activities that will lead to the accomplishment of their goals.

Wolves do not aimlessly run around their intended victims, yipping and yapping. They have a strategic plan and execute it through constant communication. When the moment of truth arrives, each understands his role and understands exactly what the pack expects of him.

The wolf does not depend on luck. The cohesion, teamwork and training of the pack determines whether the pack lives or dies.

There is a silly maxim in some organizations that everyone, to be a valuable member, must aspire to be the leader. This is personified by the misguided CEO who says he only hires people who say they want to take his job. Evidently, this is supposed to ensure that the person has ambition, courage, spunk, honesty, drive - whatever. In reality, it is simply a contrived situation, with the interviewee jumping through the boss's hoops. It sends warnings of competition and one-upsmanship throughout the organization rather than signals of cooperation, teamwork and loyalty.

Everyone does not strive to be the leader in the wolf pack. Some are consummate hunters or caregivers or jokesters, but each seems to gravitate to the role he does best. This is not to say there are not challenges to authority, position and status - there are. But each wolf's role begins emerging from playtime as a pup and refines itself through the rest of its years. The wolf's attitude is always based upon the question, "What is best for the pack?" This is in marked contrast to us humans, who will often sabotage our organizations, families or businesses, if we do not get what we want.

Wolves are seldom truly threatened by other animals. By constantly engaging their senses and skills, they are practically unassailable. They are masters of planning for the moment of opportunity to present itself, and when it does, they are ready to act.

Because of training, preparation, planning, communication and a preference for action, the wolf's expectation is always to be victorious. While in actuality this is true only 10 percent of the time or less, the wolf's attitude is always that success will come-and it does.

by Twyman Towery

carzy time

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 16:53:00 +0530

I have been away quite long .. didn't felt like writing for weeks. Life has been damn slow and its just the "crazy time" again that will pass tomorrow not if today.

So, what goes to humans when he/she is going through this crazy time period. They are struggling with the happening just happening cuz its not going their way. Lot of pressure, lot of fighting back to change things but the things just becomes more worst then what they were earlier.

There are few things that we can not fight back. The best way to defeat them is to accept them.

You won't understand

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Wed, 4 Aug 2010 03:11:00 +0530

I am certain that we all happen to say it to peoples around us in relations,"You don't understand". There are times when its really hard to prove oneself to others, even to one we love and with them for a long time. The only part matters that what they mean to us.

We have to take initiative even though we know its difficult to make someone understand something which is true for us but to them its a vague action. Even for simple things the situation becomes so tough that we give up and say you don't understand and move ahead but its a decision that we make either accepting the defiance or losing the patience to take the pain to make them believe in our thoughts.

It's also a matter that to them our step or activity is not a true thing to take place but not everyone is perfect. So one just need to put a point that even his actions and steps are wrong but he/she wants the other person to be on his side and see things through his/her perspective which will let them understand the situation in a better way. None of us like to be wrong but we fail to make an attempt to make that understandable to the persons we love.

So, do take initiative to explain yourself even you know he/she wont understand.

Fathers Day : How special is it for you

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 18:27:00 +0530

I just didn't wanted to miss this auspicious day to wish my father and al fathers a happy fathers day for been with us since our birth and all of the hard times when we need them the most.

As a friend to play when we dont have a language to communicate but he knows what we are saying and manages to communicate back too. A person yo count on for everything, a friend, a guardian and all what we wish to have in our lives and also things that we didn't wished are fulfilled by him in all his possible ways.

We learn to learn all the survival ways , the first teacher of us in all ways, a friend to listen all our issues and concerns, happiness and sorrows, advicing best with his sheer experince expecting nothing in return.

Thank you father for been there for all times. Friends and brothers do wish your father not only on this day but in the days amid.

Happy Fathers day to all Fathers for been with us when we needed them the most and always.

Decisions with realtionship

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 18:44:00 +0530

We take decisions now and then in our daily life. Few small one's and few big one's. There are decisions that are personally focused but there are more which we think as personal decision which tends not to be the one. There are decisions as such which just don't involve us as an individual rather there are more persons attached to it directly or indirectly.

We tend to take decisions not for ourselves but for others too may it be your friend, parents, kids, spouse or anyone. The point is that not all decisions make them happy. There are things that we fathom on parameters which are in-important for the one or they feel like that. We happen to measure things our way but we need to be double sure of the parameters we chose to come to a decision. We should always be sure that the pain our loved ones are going because of the "decision" we are making thinking better of them really worth that pain or not. We ignore this point and we will left our loved ones hurt.

I would rather chose a discussion on the same before making a decision as there are perspective we may ignore or consider not important when in the matter of fact they are equally important. We are not sharing things and that is where we fail to make our first decision that I as an individual can make better decision. One may be correct but the probability to be so increases when we have a different opinion on the same.

So be sharing and be a good decision maker cuz that is what will make you a better individual and more trustworthy amongst your loved ones. Trust others first to share and feel the difference in what your decision entails on.

Happy decision making peoples...

Excerpt from The 100/0 Principle, by Al Ritter

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:24:00 +0530

Just felt sharing this part with you all,

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.

STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.

STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.

STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:48:00 +0530

I was going through one of the article by Dr. Y.L.R.Murthy and felt to share with you all that how important it is to have a perspective and a viosion in life beyond what we fail to think on. Happy reading....

Have Breakfast Or Be Breakfast

Who sells the largest number of cameras in India ? Your guess is likely to be Sony, Canon or Nikon.

The answer is - None of the above ! The winner is NOKIA whose main line of business in India is not cameras at all, but Cell Phones – the reason being, that cameras bundled with cellphones are outselling stand alone cameras. Now, what prevents the cell-phone from replacing the camera outright ? Nothing at all. One can only hope the Sonys and Canons are taking note of this fact !

Try this. Who is the biggest in music business in India ?

You think it is HMV Sa-Re-Ga-Ma ?

Sorry. The answer is Airtel. By selling Caller Tunes ( that play for 30 seconds ) Airtel makes more than what music companies like HMV make by selling music albums (that run for hours).
Incidentally Airtel is not in music business. It is the mobile service provider with the largest subscriber base in India. That sort of competitor is difficult to detect, even more difficult to beat (by the time you have identified him he has already gone past you). But if you imagine that Nokia and Bharti ( Airtel's parent ) are breathing easy you can't be farther from truth.

Nokia confessed that they all but missed the Smart Phone bus. They admit that Apple's i-Phone and Google's Android can make life difficult in future.

But you never thought that Google was a mobile company, did you ?

If these illustrations mean anything, there is a bigger game unfolding. It is not so much about mobile or music or camera or emails ?

The "Mahabharat" (the great Indian epic battle) is about "what is tomorrow's personal digital device"?

Will it be a souped up mobile or a palmtop with a phone ? All these are little wars that add up to that big battle. Hiding behind all these wars is a gem of a question –

" WHO is my competitor ? "

Once in a while, to intrigue my students I toss a question at them. I ask " What Apple did to Sony, Sony did to Kodak, explain ? " The smart ones get the answer almost immediately. Sony defined its market as Audio ( music from the famous ‘Walkman’ ). They never ever expected an IT company like Apple to encroach into their Audio market domain with the I-Pod.
Come to think of it, is it really surprising ? Apple, as a computer maker, had both Audio and Video capabilities.

So what made Sony think they won't compete on pure Audio ?

"Elementary Watson".

So also Kodak defined its business as Film Cameras, Sony defines its businesses as "Digital." In digital camera the two markets perfectly meshed. Kodak was torn between going Digital and sacrificing money on camera film, or staying with Films and getting left behind in Digital technology.

Left undecided, it lost in both. It had to. It did not ask the BIG question " WHO is my competitor for tomorrow ?"

The same was true for IBM whose mainframe revenue prevented it from seeing the PC. The same was true of Bill Gates who declared "internet is a fad !" ... and then turned around to bundle the browser with windows to bury Netscape.

The point is not who is today's competitor. Today's competitor is obvious. Tomorrow's is not.

In 2008, who was the toughest competitor to British Airways in India ? Singapore airlines ? Better still, Indian airlines ?

Maybe, but there are better answers. There are competitors that can hurt all these airlines and others not YET mentioned.

The answer is video-conferencing and telepresence services of HP and Cisco. Travel dropped due to recession. Senior IT Executives in India and abroad were compelled by their head quarters to use video-conferencing to shrink travel budget.

So much so, that the mad scramble for American visas from Indian techies was nowhere in sight in 2008. (India has a quota of something like 65,000 visas to the U.S. They were going a-begging. Blame it on recession! ).

So far so good. But to think that the airlines will be back in business post recession is something I would not bet on.

In short term yes. In long term a resounding NO.

Remember, if there is one place where Newton's law of gravity is applicable besides physics it is in electronic hardware.

Between 1977 and 1991 the prices of the now dead VCR ( grandparent of Blue-Ray disc player) crashed to one-third of its original level in India. PC's prices dropped from hundreds of thousands of rupees to tens of thousands. If this trend repeats then telepresence prices will also crash. Imagine the fate of these airlines then. As it is not many are making money. Then it will surely be R.I.P !

India has two passions. Films and cricket. The two markets were distinctly different. So were the icons. The cricket gods were Sachin and Sehwag. The filmi gods were the Khans ( Aamir, Shah Rukh Salman and the other Khans who followed suit ).

That was, when cricket was fundamentally test cricket or at best 50 over cricket. Then came IPL and the two markets collapsed into one. IPL brought cricket down to 20 overs. Suddenly an IPL match was reduced to the length of a 3 hour movie.

Cricket became film's competitor. On the eve of IPL matches movie halls ran empty. Desperate multiplex owners requisitioned the rights for screening IPL matches at movie halls to hang on to the audience. If IPL were to become the mainstay of cricket, as it is likely to be, films have to sequence their releases so as not clash with IPL matches. As far as the audience is concerned, both are what in India are called 3 hour "tamasha" (entertainment) . Cricket season might push films out of the market.

Look at the products that vanished from India in the last 20 years. When did you last see a black and white movie ? When did you last use a typewriter that had a limited memory. Then came the computer and mowed them all. Today most technologically challenged guys like me use the computer as an upgraded typewriter. Typewriters per se, are nowhere to be seen.

One last illustration. 20 years back what were Indians using to wake them up in the morning ? The answer is "alarm clock." The alarm clock was a monster made of mechanical springs. It had to be physically keyed every day to keep it running. It made so much noise by way of alarm, that it woke you up and the rest of the colony. Then came the quartz clocks which were sleeker. They were much more gentle though still quaintly called "alarms."

What do we use today for waking up in the morning ?

Our Cellphone !

An entire industry of clocks disappeared without warning - thanks to these cell phones. Big watch companies like Titan were the losers.

You never know in which bush your competitor is hiding !

On a lighter vein, who are the competitors for authors ? Joke spewing machines ? Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple, himself a Pole, tagged a Polish joke telling machine to a telephone pole much to the mirth of Silicon Valley. Or will the competition be story telling robots?

The Future is scary !

The boss of an IT company once said something interesting about the animal called “Competition”

He said " Have breakfast …or…. be breakfast "!

That, sums it up really well !

Y.L.R. Moorthi

I want to explore the unknown

amritanshuu@gmail.com (Amritanshu) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:30:00 +0530

Don’t impose on me what you know,

I want to explore the unknown

And be the source of my own discoveries.

Let the known be my liberation, not my slavery.

The world of your truth can be my limitation;

Your wisdom my negation.

Don’t instruct me; let’s walk together.

Let my richness begin where yours ends.

Show me so that I can stand

On your shoulders.

Reveal yourself so that I can be

Something different.

You believe that every human being

Can love and create.

I understand, then, your fear

When I ask you to live according to your wisdom.

You will not know who I am

By listening to yourself.

Don’t instruct me; let me be.

Your failure is that I be identical to you.