Andy's Blog

Written? Kitten! Smitten...

2011-11-21T04:57:00.001-08:00

Recently, I was linked to this website, Written? Kitten!, a website that posts a random picture of a cute kitten from Flickr for every 100, 200, 500, or 1000 words typed. This is what happened when I was left alone with the text box:

So I guess this encourages people to write 'n shit. That's neat. Too bad I honestly have nothing to write about. That's the problem with writing, y'know. Nothing to actually write about. And when you're given a reward every 100 words, do you know what is encouraged? Rambling.

Yeah, that's right. Rambling. I don't have anything to write about at the moment. I'm not working on an essay, I'm not even writing a story. I have no interest in doing so. So I'm writing for the sake of writing. It's sort of pathetic, in a way. A slight way.

Wait. OH MY FUCKING GOD. IT'S A KITTEN. A FUCKING ADORABLE AS SHIT KITTEN. I... wow. This does feel good. I like that kitten. I like him. I like him a lot. He's... fuzzy. His ears are standing to a slight angle, and he can see himself angled in the reflection in the mirror. But he also looks sort of sad.

Why is he sad? I doubt we'll ever know. Maybe he's out of yarn. Y'know, I'll accept that. Kittens are pretty susceptible to being upset over noticeable lack of yarn. I wouldn't go so far as to say they become depressed or anything, but yeah.

Another kitten, eh? Not any kitten either. A lolcat. And a particularly mischievous one at that. It's chewing on... what's that? Tampons? Eurgh. Y'know, that's the thing about the internet, isn't it? Everything comes back to female anatomy. Even the places on the internet that feature cute pictures of kittens - the places you thought you'd avoid any mention of ovaries and vaginas and milk-nipples - seem to be scattered with the occasional reference to, say, tampons. The kitten is chewing the tampon to bits, which improves considerably the tampon in question, but still creates images of those... slightly darker places on the internet.

That's the thing, too, about being rewarded by something every so-and-so things. Some people - not many, but some - have limits. For example - I tend to limit myself to a few kittens a day. A necessary, self-enforced limit, designed exclusively so I do not have cute overload. It's a real thing. Really. Every year, thousands of people are diagnosed with cute overload. It affects us all. And yet there's no governmental body established to prevent the risk of cute overload in the home and workplace? It's appalling.

So, too, is rewarding writers with kittens. Writers are fickle people. They accept things like kittens. But it starts with kittens, doesn't it. Soon employers will establish a system wherin writers get paid with kittens, and not money. After that? They'll get paid for bits of kittens; a picture of an ear, a paw, a wet little nose. ...and once you've reached that, what comes next? ANARCHY. ANARCHY COMES NEXT. Once writers accept that they will, indeed, write for the reward of "pictures of moderately adorable kittens," the whole economy collapses overnight. Writers everywhere go poor but for thousands of images of kittens. Corporations go bankrupt as they realize their petty money is no longer inherently valuable - the people of the earth write for kittens now.

And the smug kittens - like the one I was just "rewarded" with - or was it a reward? Or a SOCIALIST TRAP??! - they sit in glee as all of mankind rises up. "Take the kittens," we say. "We love the kittens. We shall work for kittens." And eventually? "We will work for THE kittens." And that's how the slavery begins. Kittens enslave all of mankind because, after all, it was the writers that sealed our fate.

...ohh, but they are painfully cute. Come here, kitty, lemme hug you, ya fuzzy bastard... ^_^

Well, that's it. It was a pretty fun time I had on Written? Kitten!, and I imagine if you are the kind who is enamored with the cuteness of our feline friends, then it could be a useful carrot-on-a-stick-type self-rewards program. For me though - a man who is quite the stranger to ever sitting down and writing anything longer than blog article-length opinion pieces - this website is but a charming gimmick. But it is a good gimmick. Why not give it a visit?

I Need More Questions

2011-05-19T01:46:00.000-07:00

I'm having a withdrawal, here. After the daily 30 Day Challenges ended, I fell out. I had developed a terrible addiction - an addiction to question and answers. I couldn't do another 30 Day Challenge. They'd call me insane. I tried to posit Formspring users into asking me questions, but alas, they seemed somewhat repulsed by the request. Now, there is only one person I can turn to.

James Lipton. Your show Inside the Actor's Studio features, without fail, a 10-question "interview" with your guest(s) at the end of every episode. If you will allow me, Mr Lipton, I will now steal your test for my own personal use. Mwahahaha! Though I do understand it is actually a heavily modified version of the Proust Questionnaire. And this specific rendition of the questionnaire actually devised by Bernard Pivot. Regardless; you should feel robbed, Mr Lipton. Robbed!!

1. What is your favourite word?

"Discombobulation". It's one of those wonderful English language words that goes to remind you how innately stupid the language truly is. It's all gobbledygook, every syllable, and that words like "discombobulate" legitimately exist in our collective vocabulary is, I think, an amazing and hilarious feat in and of itself.

2. What is your least favourite word?

"Diet". Look at it, sitting there. It just spells pain. It just oozes death. Die... et. Die, et. Diet. It rolls off the tongue like a drop of blood, and enters your ears like a knife enters a ribcage. "Diet." What a horrible, disgusting word.

3. What turns you on?

Dominance.

4. What turns you off?

Smoking.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

Don't read too much into this, but... pneumatic pistons contracting and detracting. The whole, "PSSHHHH" noise, like steam being released through a tiny gap. Love it.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound of a smug, self-assured, know-it-all, posh child's voice. They tend to be English. They also tend to speak in the most infuriating tone of any living being on Earth and everytime I hear them I just want to yell at them, "SHUT UP!! NOBODY CARES YOU LITTLE TWAT!"

7. What is your favourite curse word?

My favourite string of words for use as a curse - "Jesus fucking Christ". There's just something so primal and brutal about taking Jesus' name, using it in an angry, pissed-off fashion, unthinking fashion, and topping it off by adding "fucking" in there to show you really mean business. It's probably the most broadly offensive curse I can think of, and definitely the one I used most when terribly angered.

8. What Profession Other Than Your Own Would You Like to Attempt?

I honestly wouldn't mind being a professional chef or cook.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

QA tester. I... I just couldn't stomach it. I nitpick a lot of things, but that's something I'd hate.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Welcome, fellow sinner!"

30 Day Challenges, Part 30 - All Good Things

2011-05-10T00:19:00.000-07:00

In the infamous words of Porky Pig, this, of course, is all, folks. This is the last batch of question and answers for these Doctor Who, otaku, and video game 30 Day Challenges. Today you'll learn why I love Doctor Who so much. You'll get to see a photograph of me geeking out (or, dorking out). And you'll find out my surprisingly not Portal "favourite game of all time". Your popcorn is empty by now, and your patience is nearing its end - or something like that. Here you go guys. The last part of 30 Day Challenges. Tuck in.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 30

Whatever tickles your fancy.

Today, I'm going to tackle an issue that I think needs to be addressed: "why do I love Doctor Who?" ...there's no denying, for me, a lot of my friends, and the two members of my family who religiously follow the show alongside me, Doctor Who is a show associated with a lot of warm feelings. We are archetypal "fans," by definition. But why? Beyond just being a damn good slice of science-fiction, why does Doctor Who deserve the praise and following both we, and others, give to it?

It is, after all, a children's show, in essence. It was originally created as an educational program. Yet its longetivity is nothing short of astounding, surviving decades on its own merits, and despite cancellation coming back as the gestalt of British drama television. I think I know why I love the show so much, and it's that the show can literally be anything it wants. One episode it can be a period drama. The next it's in space. The next, it's a comedy.

...but, on the other hand, no. That's not why I love it, or why people around the world follow it with such fervent fanboyism. I think Doctor Who is as popular as it is because... it's always been there. Doctor Who fills us who watch it with feelings; happiness, fear, nostalgia, anger. Doctor Who is special to us because it is Doctor Who. And while people watch us on with confusion, or disdain, I think we Whovians will always keep travelling with the Doctor - a very special man, who travels the universe in a magic blue box, who changes his face whenever he dies. That is the magic of Doctor Who.

Otaku Challenge, Day 30

A picture of yourself showing how proud of a dork you are.

Well, here's me. I'm wearing thick glasses. I'm unshaven. I'm giving a thumbs up to a My Neighbour Totoro poster than hangs above my piano next to a Modern Warfare 2 poster. You can also see the edge of my video card packaging, that I sit like a trophy above my myriad of anime DVDs and Games for Windows videogames. To call me a "dork," though, is something of a fallacy. I mean, really. I am more of a geek. I don't think dorks are as self-aware as I am. I... look, the less we reflect on this image, the better. Totoro is a good film, alright? And video card packaging is shiny and holographic! I... eh, next.

Video Game Challenge, Day 30

Your favourite videogame of all time.

I used to say Portal. I did say Portal, in my Top 10 Videogames of All Time article. But... Portal 2 has ruined that. Just a little. Because Portal 2 is so much better than Portal, and yet... not as good as Psychonauts. So I don't know. It's like my whole logic train has kind of jumped tracks and dropped half its cargo beside the track in the process.

So, I'm going to have to say it is Half-Life 2 that I believe to be my favourite videogame of all time. Gordon Freeman is just a badass. What can I say. That and the storytelling and visual design and art and gameplay pacing and everything is incredible and such. I really don't want to have to pick it apart, though. Half-Life 2 is almost the embodiment of why I love gaming, particularly PC gaming. A triumph of design, pacing, and writing, presented as a wholly interactive and engaging experience. I love Half-Life 2, and I'm not ashamed to call it my favourite videogame of all time. Until I can find something else, I mean.

That's it! Thanks for reading, folks. For all your work sticking with me the past 30 or so days, tune in tomorrow for a special "what have we learned" article! You'll be pleasantly surprised, I think. Until next time - goodbye, y'all!

30 Day Challenges, Part 29 - SCIENCE!

2011-05-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

Today I unintentionally make a return to a sketchy subject, for me. So - SCIENCE! Science is to the rescue, oh yes! I won't tell you how, where, or to what capacity, but believe me when I say there is science involved. When you see it, ignore everything you're doing. I mean it. Just, you know, close your eyes and breathe. I... okay look just start the questions. I SAID START THE QUESTIONS YOU- ...!!

Doctor Who Challenges, Day 29

Who you think should be the next Doctor.

To say "I would watch Stephen Fry as the Doctor" is an understatement. I would religiously watch Stephen Fry as the Doctor. Does he really suit the role? Perhaps not. Is he too old? Too defined? Too Stephen Fry? Well yes, that too. But. He is Stephen Fry. And I would love to watch him, you know, wondering around the universe in his TARDIS. He'd be witty and charming and everything that makes a good Doctor. For sure, then! Yes, make it Stephen Fry. My will makes it so. ...what? I SAID MY WILL MAKES IT SO- ...!!

Otaku Challenge, Day 29

Who are you in the 2D world?

Without beating a dead horse to death with another dead horse, *cough* that thing I do *cough*. Yeah. Um, if you can extract from that exactly what I mean, you are officially as perverted as me. Congratulations. If you can't, *cough* ...good. Um, I need to change the subject quick. Because otherwise, I - SCIENCE! ...look! Look at the science over there!! ...se? Look at it! Gathering like mold in the corner! It's up there! Just look at it! I ...did that... okay I didn't fool you I guess. Sigh... I sure am messed up, huh.

Video Game Challenge, Day 29

A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving.

Just Cause was a pretty okay game. It was set in a massive open-world, but it was huge, empty, and sparse. So when I saw Just Cause 2 was being made, I was skeptical. Even watching the gameplay videos that showcased the crazy new abilities, weapons, and movies, I didn't think anything good could come of Just Cause 2, surely.

I was wrong. Just Cause 2 is amazing. It is a "switch your brain off" kind of game, so not everyone will love it, but once you start blowing shit up, hijacking planes from other planes, destroying the very island you're living on and using your grappling hook to essentially Spider-Man your way from one side of the island to the other, you will be hooked. Eh-heh. Just so you know - I predict the next game to be here to be Duke Nukem Forever, for similar reasons. Viva la revolution! ...and so forth.

Tune in tomorrow for the last day's worth of challenges. And then - the day after that - a comprehensive look back at these 30 magical days. ...I use the term "magical" as loosely as possible, I promise.

30 Day Challenges, Part 28 - Original Ideas

2011-05-08T04:06:00.000-07:00

So. If you take away anything away from today's 30 Day Challenges answers, it's that Russell T Davies is a hack. And not the kind of hack that makes bad television, because he makes pretty okay television. Sort of. The kind of hack that steals Doctor Who ideas from little children. Um, teenage children, anyway. Teenage... young adults. No-one in particular. But, every idea is stolen. Stolen!! ...the picture is unrelated, by the way. It's just Master Chief crossing the Delaware. You know, like in the parable. That was stolen.

Doctor Who Challenges, Day 28

An episode idea you created yourself.

When I was a kid, I would make Doctor Who animated fan-videos, for my own amusement. One of these videos involved a plot in which the Doctor - embodied by the obvious character of choice, Krusty the Klown - returns to his home planet, Gallifrey. Then, he and the Time Lords join in a massive war over the whole of Time and Space.

A few months later, Russell T Davies' introduced into the canon, this same idea, the "Time War". Needless to say, he stole my idea. No kid has ever come up with the idea of Daleks vs Time Lords. Nope. No-one. I was the first.

Otaku Challenge, Day 28

The last manga you finished reading.

The last manga I finished reading was called Boobs Fetish Ninja Thighs 2000. Whoops. I mean Battle Vixens. The copy I read has an interesting back-story - a man bought it in hope that it would be a hentai manga. Then it turned out, it was actually ecchi - which is basically hentai, without the sex, only, with all the painfully erect nipples. And such. He was so disappointed by this turn of events, he gave it away to my cousin; who lent it to me.

It was pretty cool, actually, if I recall correctly; just not as cool as its backstory. Still, at least it had... um... interesting layout angles.

Video Game Challenges, Day 28

Favourite game developer.

As an avid PC gamer, Valve has vastly improved the quality of my gaming experience. Ignore that Half-Life is possibly the most innovative first-person shooter of the 90s. Ignore that Steam is the best digital distribution platform available for our platform. Just take with you that Valve's community support is amazing. I mean, I can't think of any game company that not only supports community modding and mapping, but officially releases those mods and maps on their services.

Also, their design philosophy ensures that their games are always - always - liberally coated with elbow-grease and polish. Twice. They're just really awesome and I love them. Also... Portal. They did Portal. They... yeah. Portal. That's my sentence. "Portal."

Tune in tomorrow for who I think should be the next Doctor Who, who I am in the 2D world, and a game I thought I wouldn't like, but ended up loving.

30 Day Challenges, Part 27 - Epic Confused Mad

2011-05-06T21:59:00.000-07:00

Today's challenges, I get mad about crappy Christmas specials, talk about the most epic game scene I have ever played, and - of course - the expression I get from watching anime. Expression? The expression I get. No, I think they meant "emotion," despite typing "expression". Who knows, maybe I'm just a moron and missed the whole point of it! ...and wouldn't that be embarrassing.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 27

An episode you wish hadn't been made.

Doctor Who "Christmas Specials" have been... serviceable at best. Ignore for a fact that the Doctor celebrating a monotheistic religion's holiday when he ignores, say, Hanukkah, or indeed other planet's equivalent of Christmas; they have often been either prolonged trailers for the seasons ahead, or just plain terrible.

The last of the David Tennant Christmas specials, though, was... what's the word... a babbling, terrible mess? A silly, silly story told as adeptly as a homeless man shouting Shakespeare from two blocks over? A mockery of science-fiction and Christmas combined? What should we call it. "Worst Christmas special ever"? ...maybe that's too harsh. Maybe it wasn't that bad. But then - orphaned children starving on Christmas Eve, a "Queen of the Cybermen," and a fifty foot toy soldier towering over London, called the "Cyberking." Fucking hell. I hate Christmas specials.

Otaku Challenge, Day 27

An emotion you get from watching anime.

The question originally was worded, "an expression you get from watching anime." Which doesn't make that much sense. So I'm going "emotion," or a feeling; and I'd say, the most predominant feeling I get when watching anime, is that of confusion.

Why. Why are these little girls throwing spells at each other? Why are these giant mechanoid robots equipped with proportionally accurate giant knives, too? Why does Ponyo cross into a chicken when morphing from a fish to a human? ...why do I enjoy this stuff as much as I do? Eurgh, I'm so confused.

Video Game Challenge, Day 27

Most epic scene ever.

I never played the original God of War, so I didn't really know what to expect from God of War II. I certainly wasn't expecting the first scene to be a punch-up with a giant indestructible gold statue. I wasn't expecting the fight to last for so many, many minutes. And I also didn't expect it to be the most epic fight in a video game I have ever played...! I haven't played God of War III, so I'm not sure if that trumps it, but the battle with the Colossus of Rhodes at the beginning of God of War II is just an amazingly epic struggle with a giant, unstoppable beast. Well. Almost unstoppable. The bigger they are, they say...

Tune in tomorrow for a Doctor Who episode idea I came up with myself, the latest manga I finished reading, and my favourite game developer. Sounds like fun.

30 Day Challenges, Part 26 - Lost Time

2011-05-05T02:08:00.000-07:00

The friend of mine that I started doing these challenges alongside yesterday did her Day 30. Which basically means I lost four days somewhere along the line. I... I cannot for the life of me figure out how I missed four whole days. I mean, I missed deadlines, don't get me wrong. A lot, too. But I made up for them by having several posts in a day. Where did these four days go? How did I not notice until now? I'll rack my brains over that as you read today's answers for Doctor Who, otaku, and video games challenges. Euurgh.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 26

Favourite Who actress.

I bet you think I'm going to say Liz Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith. You'd be... wrong. Now I think Liz Sladen is a fantastic actress and when I heard she had died I felt really bad for both those who were glued to Sarah Jane Adventures, and people who grew up with her watching Doctor Who as little tykes. She must have been a cornerstone of a lot of childhood entertainment, and her death is saddening as all death is. But... I did not like the character of Sarah-Jane. Call me a monster, but I prefer the likes of Ace, Romana, Peri, to Ms Sarah-Jane Smith.

I'm almost leaning to go with a secondary or incidental character, but I'm on the mindset that companions boast the best Doctor Who actresses, and - based solely on performance - I really liked Lalla Ward as Romana. She was really cool because she, like the Doctor, was a Time Lord, and could regenerate when killed just as he could. If I recall correctly, Ward played Romana II, who was significantly more whimsical than the first incarnation of Romana. I just remember, she was a lot of fun to be around, and with the advantage of knowing the Doctor well due to being the same species, I remember Ward played really well against Tom Baker as the Doctor. Also, she had a damn tight friendship with K-9 - to the point that she's the one that got to keep the original Mark IV K-9! (In the cannon, I mean, not real life. In real life she writes knitting books.)

Otaku Challenge, Day 26

Suckiest subtitle.

At first I was going to go with Elfen Lied's fansubs, which nonchalantly has "do you want to suck my breast" in the most inappropriate of places (this is the gist of the translation, but it's a little more out-of-the-blue than the actual Japanese... or so I'm told). No, the worst subtitles, for me, are the ones that take the time out to explain to you stuff about the context or narrative.

Don't get me wrong, some of the time - a lot of the time, even - this kind of subtitle is fine. I don't know everything about Japanese culture, and a little heads up to give context to a joke that wouldn't have worked in English, or to make something seem a little less weird, or what have you - do that. A short sentence, or dictionary quote - go for it. Sometimes, though, I swear I'm reading excerpts from the Wikipedia page. That information might be necessary, but condensing it a little won't cause any harm, and for fuck's sake, if you see that your subtitle covers up half of the screen with text, that's probably a good sign that you're doing it wrong. I've seen this sort of haphazard subtitling done a lot, and whenever it pops up it makes me slam my head straight through my desk. Grrr.

Video Game Challenge, Day 26

Best voice acting.

There have been a lot of wonderful voice performances in videogames of late, especially in this generation of consoles calling in big-names. I myself love John DiMaggio as Gears of War's Marcus Phoenix, Mike Patton as the Darkness in The Darkness, and Robert Culp as the slimy Dr Breen in Half-Life 2.

But Mark Hamill as the Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum totally blew away all expectations. Sure, Hamill had been acting in Batman: The Animated Series in the same role for a long, long time, and basically already considered one of the quintessential incarnations of the character. But after The Dark Knight, Heath Ledger had basically shown the world the darkest, scariest, funniest and coolest interpretation of the Joker. Hamill was, effectively, standing under Ledger's massive shadow in Arkham Asylum, the game being the next "big" appearance of Joker after Dark Knight. Well, Hamill showed he's been playing the Joker for years for a damn good reason - he is brilliant with it. That laugh is spine-chilling stuff - and Hamill's combination of hammy over-acting and subtle darkness makes his Joker possibly the best of all time. His performance in Arkham Asylum proves this indefinitely.

Tune in next time for a Doctor Who episode I wish hadn't been made, an expression I get from watching anime (I assume they mean "emotion," but hey, let's run with it), and the most epic videogame scene ever!

30 Day Challenges, Part 25 - Drawn that Way

2011-05-04T03:44:00.000-07:00

Hello, Andy's Blog readers! If you're reading this sentence, you understand English. Today, we see a wonderful tribute to, in my opinion, the best actor in the all of Doctor Who, BlazBlue fanart turned official boxart, and a game I plan on playing but just haven't gotten around to doing so yet. A bunch of fun questions with suitably fun answers; read forth, English understanders!

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 25

Favourite Doctor Who actor.

A wonderful, wonderful man, playing the most consistently wonderful Doctor Who character who wasn't, well, the Doctor. In case you don't get the point from the video - he was such a childhood icon and now he's gone forever! "Lest we forget," says the video's description, and while I'd usually guffaw at it as cheesy phraseology, I have to agree in this case. Rest in peace, Nicholas Courtney. You were the best.

Otaku Challenge, Day 25

Best anime fanart.

For the European release of BlazBlue: Continuum Shift, a contest was held to come up with the cover. Canadian interwebs artist Radiant Dreamer participated in the official forums in his region, was voted unanimously as "fucking awesome" (well, a winner, anyway), and lo and behold is Noel fanart was transformed from competition winner to genuine official European boxart. ...and this guy Radiant Dreamer, he is an amazing artist. You'll find, in the link from his name above, his blog post on the different stages his art went through and each variation is as incredible as each other. I mean... my god. This is mindblowing fanart, and just incredibly amazing stuff fullstop; and just... wow. Just wow.

Video Game Challenge, Day 25

A game you plan on playing.

When I bought the Humble Indie Bundle #3, the Frozenbyte Bundle, I did it mostly to support the cause and get some cool new games weighing down my Steam profile. I downloaded and played Trine, and I liked it. I downloaded Shadowgrounds, but... I honestly... I do plan on playing it. I swear. It looks like if Alien Swarm crossed with Doom 3 - and cooler than that makes it sound. But I just haven't gotten around to hitting that "play game" button yet. It might be tonight. It might be tomorrow. It might be next week. But I will play it, eventually. I think so, anyway.

Tune in next time for my favourite Doctor Who actress, suckiest anime subtitle (I assume this means subtitles like foreign language subtitles, not title subtitle), and best videogame voice acting work.

30 Day Challenges, Part 24 - Snooker Loopy

2011-05-02T02:47:00.000-07:00

I'm getting pretty sick of Doctor Who Challenge throwing "whatever tickles your fancy" at me as substitute for legitimate questions. Today, you get to see me go apeshit crazy, just a bit, over that; meanwhile, I'm discussing the most addictive "otaku" game (definition debatable), and I have trouble recalling classic games for the old arcades and systems. Fun challenges, today. Let's get into it.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 24

Whatever tickles your fancy.

No thanks. Honestly. It's been 24 days of this and all I can even remember is trying to come up with pointless bullshit for "whatever tickles your fancy". Why don't you learn how to write a challenge with legitimately thirty days worth of content, eh? That's why it's called a "30 Day Challenge!" ...you crazy Dutch bastard.

Otaku Challenge, Day 24

Most addictive game.

This is not so much an "otaku" game like, say, a good JRPG, and my first decision was "Touhou," so if you must take issue with this not being otaku to any degree then roll back to Touhou on my behalf. But yeah, this... Japanese thing that you can find by searching "mouse stealer" into Google. It's only a small Flash game, really, but it is insanely addictive, in a massive time-wasting sort of way. It's insubstantial but it's great just to fuck around with for long stretches of time, and you will learn to hate the little "mouse stealer" bastard, so... yeah. You can play it here if you wanna see for yourself.

Video Game Challenge, Day 24

Your favourite classic game.

There are a lot of classic games. I know that. Then why for the life of me can I only at present time remember three of them? I'm thinking Pong, Space Invaders, and... Super Mario Bros. 3. Hold on, Super Mario Bros. 3 implies a Super Mario Bros.... does anyone remember that? Was that a real game? Why would Nintendo jump forward three titles? ...anyway the answer is Super Mario Bros. 3, excuse my stupidity. Now I'm off to play the PlayStation 2 title Midway Arcade Treasures, and the recent new releases Sega Megadrive Collection. Brand new titles, for sure. Also, have you seen that scene in The Wizard? ...oh my god! It's Super Mario Bros. 3! Surely the stuff of legends...!! ...anyway enjoy the answer, Mario Bros. 3 is awesome I suppose and Mario comes out as a closet furry, so that's fun.

Tune in tomorrow for my favourite Who actor, best anime fanart, and a game I plan on playing.

30 Day Challenges, Part 23 - Weeping for Morons

2011-04-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

In today's challenges, among other things, I make the point that the ending of Azumanga Daioh is an incredibly depressing one, due to the fact that the girls in the series are in all likelyhood to dumb to see their lives through to any happy ending. I also talk about Team Fortress 2 some more, and embrace (some more) my inner homosexual in the Doctor Who challenge. Answers, away!

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 23

A Who-related Youtube Video.

Avenue Q is a stageplay/musical, a send-up of Seaseme Street, and as far as I can tell the "Q" stands for "queer". It has such things as a gay Bert and Ernie couple, and Miss Piggy envisioned as a whore. (NO CHANGE THERE THEN, HAR HAR HAR.) Doctor Who is, well, you know... Doctor Who. And this is what happens when those two things collide in a messy, sticky singularity. I know, it's uncanny how well it gels. That's Russell Davies for ya.

Otaku Challenge, Day 23

Anime scene that made you cry.

Azumanga Daioh is an insanely funny series. It's moe as all hell, which is a massive turn-off for most people, but it's probably one of few "comedy" anime series than has a well-rounded cast that are funny completely on their own. It's much funnier to watch idiots when they're happy with themselves.

But at the end of the series, there's a foreboding sense that none of these girls will succeed. At all. We have watched them all through high school, and they have been sweet and innocent despite being (mostly) a pack of complete retards who outright celebrate when they fail tests. ...and that's fine! It's good enough for comedy! But it's very hard to get those comedy-driven characters and see them off with their future endeavors, when it's painfully obvious; they will never get in to university, they will never get a career or job they care about, they will be stuck serving coffee in some cafe somewhere for the rest of their lives. They are so happy and full of joy and anticipation for the future at the end of Azumanga Daioh - and all we see is Chiyo looking off at them like, "man, they screwed." And right she is. Shed a tear for the morons, people.

Video Game Challenge, Day 23

Game you think has the best graphics or artstyle.

I asked a friend, "is Team Fortress 2 too obvious?" And he replied with, "yes. Gears of War is a bold choice." But Gears of War has no art-style. Hell, I'd like to visit Epic to see the granules of dirt they used as reference for their tones of brown. So yes, Team Fortress 2. It's thanks to the art-style that it's bubbling with the personality it has, and it's thanks to the engine enhancements that the art style is done any justice. It is Valve's best looking game, as far as I'm concerned - a mid-50s spytech influence drawn in an exaggerated cartoon way, and rendered like a Pixar movie. Fucking awesome.

Tune in tomorrow for the most addictive otaku game, my favourite "classic" game, and... more of whatever tickles my fancy from Doctor Who. Sigh.

30 Day Challenges, Part 22 - Memories Half-formed

2011-04-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

In today's Doctor Who, Otaku, and Video Games challenges, I tell you about a fansite I've never visited, about a fanfic I can sparsely remember, and a game that disappointed me so much I never even thought to finish the damn thing. So if you feel an overwhelming sense of redundancy today, that indicates only that your brain is working quite well. But if ever there was a word to describe these 30 Day Challenges, "redundant" would be one.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 22

A Who-related fansite.

Blogtor Who. Never actually been to the website. I just asked a friend just now, "what's a Doctor Who fansite?" And he said Blogtor Who. As far as I can tell, it's a man who blogs about Doctor Who, who calls himself "Blogtor". He does review Doctor Who episodes, which is actually pretty awesome - he does them spoiler-free, which is good; he also does Episode commentary over new episodes. Not entirely sure if he's worth listening to, but his website has a good layout and he's a good writer, so there we go. Blogtor Who. Woo. Puns.

Otaku Challenge, Day 22

Tell us about the craziest fanfic you've ever read.

Well, I can't tell you what it was, because I have in all likelyhood forgotten it. But I can almost 100% garuntee you it had something to do with that crazy fetish I told you about two days ago. The one that probably scared the crap out of y'all. It was probably one relating to that, and was probably about Touhou. That's all I can garuntee, as for the actual fanfic itself, I have either forgotten it entirely or, perhaps, never read it at all. But they're the sparse details I could remember - macrophiliac in nature and most likely about Touhou; probably in manga form.

Video Game Challenge, Day 22

A game sequel which disappointed you.

At first I was going to say Mafia II, which is deathly boring in almost every aspect of its design, but I was never a massive fan of the original Mafia. So instead I'll take a sequel to a game that I loved: Half-Life 2: Episode One.

I love Half-Life 2. So going in to play Episode One, I was pretty pumped. The intro was amazing - an on-rails ride with Dog and Alyx through the collapsing Combine citadel. But then... it got terrible. You start of wielding the ultra-powerful Gravity Gun, which was fun at the end of Half-Life 2, but had well outstayed its welcome by the game Episode One rolled around. Instead of any kind of awesome action sequence or atmosphere-building city tour, instead we are treated to a succession of puzzles that meander about until the plot picks itself up. Half-Life 2 was so well paced... but Episode One just... wasn't. It disappointed me. But it picked up Game of the Year from a few people, so hey, what do I know?

Tomorrow, we get a Who-related YouTube video, an anime scene that made me cry, and the game with the best graphics or art style.

30 Day Challenges, Part 21 - Abbrieved

2011-04-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

For today's set of challenges, instead of cropping out genitalia - a rewarding activity in and of itself, to be sure - I had to find out what "OTP" stood for. I still don't know what it really means, or what they wanted it to mean in this context, anyway. Yeah, so, at any rate, enjoy today's question answers, now with 100% less pornography. So the squeamish types can look this time, promise.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 21

Your Doctor Who OTP.

I'm going to take this as "off-topic post". I searched up and down what OTP stands for, and while several make sense like "one-time password," "one true pairing," and aforementioned "off-topic post," some are just bonkers. Like, "over-temperature protection," or "original template plot".

So, my off-topic Doctor Who post is this. Remember the Kandyman? He was cool, right? He was in The Happiness Patrol. He did stuff like wander around looking edible. But you can't eat him! He does, in many respects, remind me of the similarly delicious Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. He's completely made of candies, but he's inedible. He is not of edible nature. Far from it, he is an evil mechanoid robot man who kidnaps people. But riddle me this - if you can't eat him, why is he called "the Kandyman"?

Otaku Challenge, Day 21

Favourite anime fanvideo.

I really love this first episode of AMV Hell Minis. I occasionally attempt to watch the new AMV Hells, but I... I don't know, I just like this one best. The newer ones don't have the same impact, perhaps? Regardless, I could watch this all day. It's quite a funny assortment of audio clips even on its own, and the fact that there's anime underneath it... well that's an added bonus, perhaps? ...okay I may have missed the point of what an AMV is supposed to do.

Video Game Challenge, Day 21

Game with the best story.

Ummm okay let me think about this, uhhh Half-Life 2. I'm sorry, just for me, it tells the best story any videogame ever has, with the deft and integrity of a Isaac Asimov or Phillip K. Dick novel, as apposed to some videogames, whose idea of a good script is a "Hollywood" script. Now don't get me wrong, movie-style games can be great - Call of Duty 4 was amazing, despite, or indeed because, it aped cinematic conventions and was essentially a "blockbuster" in and of itself. But the best stories are those high-concept, realistically-toned, character-driven science-fictions; like Star Trek, or The Omega Man. Half-Life 2 leans towards that end of science-fiction - smart, emotional, and atmospheric, and while there the game itself can sometimes be a traditional FPS (in its predecessors mode), the majority of the experience is well deep.

Tune in tomorrow for a Doctor Who-related fansite, the craziest fanfic I have ever read, and a game sequel that disappointed me.

30 Day Challenges, Part 20 - For My Eyes Only

2011-04-27T00:33:00.000-07:00

So today's Otaku Challenge question asked me to post a yaoi or yuri pic, which I will happily oblige. But I understand there are those of you, mostly children and family members, that will probably regret seeing or reading about the kind of yaoi that I look at, and this being the case, I suggest when it comes down to it, skip the Otaku Challenge question today. Unless you must satisfy your morbid curiosity, you'd probably be better off not knowing my deeply personal and eccentric lusts. You've been warned, do with the warning what you wish. Anyway. Let us press on...

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 20

The character who is most like you.

Mickey is probably the only character Russell T. Davies introduced who I can actually sort of associate with. He's just a dumb, slightly confused man, trying to do his best given the insane circumstances he is presented with. And of course, he's given windows into his soul in a way Rose or Jackie is never given - first he realizes he's more useless than a Tin Dog (or, he is the Tin Dog), and then he's shown a parallel universe version of himself who is quite literally better than him in every possible way. If I was shown what Mickey was, I'd probably balls up like him, too. So I am, in a lot of respects, a lot like Mickey for that. Only, you know, not as black. Wow, Coach, now Mickey... I sure associate with a lot of black guys. Something I'm missing?

Otaku Challenge, Day 20

Any yaoi/yuri pic.

So, first I searched my computer for a yuri pic. I couldn't find one. So I searched for a yaoi pic. It was... pornographic. To put it simply. It was of pornographic nature. So I cropped out the... genitalia. But you can probably tell, it's still sort of a fetish picture. So those of you who know me, might be feeling uncomfortable, apathetic, or... any number of extremely confused emotions right now. What does this image mean? What does it represent? Why does it do that thing it does? They're answers you'll never find out, and, well, would probably resent asking anyway. (...if you have to know, I associate with the miniboy in this picture...) Erm, pkay, quick, next!

Video Game Challenge, Day 20

Favourite genre.

I really like first-person action games! I like shooting things. In first-person. I also like hearing a good story though, though a fastish-paced action mould in particular (which is why I like games like Half-Life and Portal, they have an action game feeling with a slower, more homey-paced plot over the top of it). I particularly like it when these games hold a smarter science-fiction plot - some of the reasons why Halo games disappoint me so, they have such opportunity to tell a smart sci-fi story, and certainly they get halfway there in their atmosphere, but it's usually just Marines in space... which honestly doesn't gel with me. This is a reason I'm looking forward to the new Deus Ex. So yes, there we go - first-person action games, leaning towards science-fiction. A good and proper nerd, be me.

Tune in tomorrow for my Doctor Who OTP (off-topic post, I think?), favourite anime fan-video, and the game with the best story. No more porn, I promise. ...wait, no I don't.

30 Day Challenges, Part 19 - Are You Even Trying??

2011-04-27T00:28:00.000-07:00

Oh god. I can't blame Portal 2 anymore, I'm just late. Hell-as late. A whole day late. I was doing nothing last night. I could have done this in my sleep. But I didn't. I know some people don't care all that much, but for those who do (those few of you... those... inconsequential few of you), I profusely apologize, and swiftly get on with it. I shan't even promise I'll be on time anymore because that promise has been broken thrice now.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 19

The scene that made you cry the most.

Christopher Eccleston's first encounter with the terrible Daleks showcased just how terribly evil they truly were. Emerging from a torture chamber desperately seeking revenge, the (at the time, anyway) one Dalek soldier showed with horrifying efficiency how deadly it could be, wiping out (essentially) a whole base of security guards and armed soldiers with nothing more than a can-do spirit. ...and a laser beam. I guess.

But then something weird happened. As the Dalek approached the room in which the Doctor took refuge, the Doctor confronted the Dalek. He asked what its plan was, to which the Dalek replied, "I am a soldier. I was bred to receive orders." The Doctor, logically, came back at him with, "you won't get anymore orders. All the Daleks are dead. I killed them. You're the only one left." And for a brief moment, brief enough to matter, at least - you can visibly see an invisible tear roll down the Dalek's metal cheek. The following back-and-forth is significant in the canon of Eccleston's Doctor, but it is the first indication that the Dalek has even the slightest hint of emotion, as it realizes - and instantly rejects - its own fleeting redundancy in light of its species' annihilation, that is one of the most insignificantly touching moments in the series long history.

Otaku Challenge, Day 19

Most underrated character.

Let me get this straight. You have a wolf goddess than can turn into a furry's wet dream at the snap of a finger, who is for at least half of the show either half-naked or in instinctual heat, who goes around eating apples, brushing up against an unwilling male wingman and being basically the most teasing little flirt since... well, the invention of teasy flirting? You have to admit; considering what this saucy foxgirl brings to the table, it's outright weird that Horo isn't already plastering the entire internet with hentai-level DeviantArt porn. It's because Spice and Wolf is about economic instability beyond its initial unwilling romance subplot, isn't it.

Video Game Challenge, Day 19

Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in.

Now, yes - Rapture falls. Hard. Everyone drugs up and becomes inhuman monsters. Creatures designed for protecting the peace become Frankenstein monsters of sinister proportions. But, you have to admit; the idea of visiting and walking along the underwater halls of Rapture in its peaceful, un-drugged-up heyday, would be freaking amazing. Rapture is such a joy to see in-game - a beautiful city, torn down by tragic circumstances. Getting to live there, in the flesh? Would be worth every civil war in the world. I'd hope, anyway. I'd give up my life to spend five years in Rapture's luxurious art deco world. Probably. At the least - I would like to see it in person, then, you know... swim away very fast.

Tune in, like, in an hour or so for the Doctor Who character who is most like me, any yaoi/yuri pic (you're in for a treat), and my favourite videogame genre.

30 Day Challenges, Part 18 - Tickle My Fancy

2011-04-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

It's April 25th, which means it's time for more wonderful questions and answers in this series of Doctor Who, Otaku, and Video Game challenges! Once more we have "whatever tickles my fancy" from Doctor Who, which makes me think it's just a construct to let whoever made the challenge not have to include actually 30 days worth of challenges. But you'd need to be pretty cynical and loveless to assume that. Anyway; my point is, if I appear to be clutching at straws, I... um... you could just blame Portal 2 again. That seemed to work well last time.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 18

Whatever tickles your fancy.

I've been watching (that is to say, I am currently watching) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and I have to say, for a lot of reasons, Gene Wilder's Wonka reminds me a lot of a good Doctor Who. Maybe it's the suit and hat. Maybe it's the way he swings from charming and irreverent to deadly serious in the blink of an eye. But yes, I think he'd make a good Doctor. Perhaps I'm be presumptuous, but I'd really have enjoyed seeing Gene Wilder in a purple suit, with a top hat and cane, at the helm of the TARDIS. Would've been fun, no?

Otaku Challenge, Day 18

Website where you usually watch/download anime.

I only found this one recently (having usually downloaded fansubs from, you know, bit torrent websites). This is where you get fansubs (and dubs... I think) from the [gg] group. A whole lot of animes here, for sure. And their subs are pretty cool. Plus, the website, despite being sparse, is really well-organized. You can find it here, if you are so inclined. Okay. Next!

Video Game Challenge, Day 18

Favourite protagonist.

There are just as many awesome protagonists as there are awesome antagonists. Hell, there are even more. I guess I should list some that come to mind, right? Okay. Hmm, Mario. Raz. Sam & Max. Guybrush Threepwood. Kirby! But... I'm going to have to say Dr Gordon Freeman. He may be an oblivious, faceless mute, but he sure has changed his world thanks to his (that is to say, the player's) actions.

From starting off the whole Black Mesa disaster with the flip of a switch and press of a button, effectively dooming the planet, to cleaning out the facility of the interdimenional nasties; to being bought to City 17 by the hand of a mysterious friend. From here, Gordon starts off a powerless, confused, oblivious pawn, and soon works his way up to starting a full civilian revolution, crippling the installed establishment, and working with fruitful results to destroy the Combine's very presence on Earth. The fact that he does this all without question, even though he is obviously the unluckiest man on the planet, only goes to show how much of a hero this talented scientist truly is. Then again, he is mute, so if he had questions, they wouldn't get answered regardless.

Tune in tomorrow for the scene that made me cry the most, the most underrated anime/manga character, and a picture of a game setting I wished I lived in. Until then, goodbye, y'all!

30 Day Challenges, Part 17 - It's Pointless

2011-04-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

There's this video-game. Portal 2. You may have heard about it from me and several other thousands of people talking about it since its release not so long ago. And it is the sole reason I have not been on time with these recently. Not laziness. Not personal ham-handedness. Not forgetfulness. It has all been Portal 2's fault. I have been playing it a lot. In singleplayer and co-op. And I'll review it on my gaming blog for Tuesday. If you have any complaints about my lateness, forward it to Valve software and complain that Portal 2 made me late. ...actually, maybe you should actually try that. That would be awesome. If they responded.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 17

A piece of Who-related fanart.

Wait, fanart? What did I do yesterday? ...fanpic. Well fanart is a fanpic by definition, right? Anyway. I don't actually have a favourite Doctor Who-related fanart, so I searched Google until I found one that appealed to me. I found this one of Patrick Troughton's Doctor clutching a "500-year dairy". ...subtle. So yeah, I do like this one. It's not an example I'm citing, it's just a cool piece of art I found for the express purpose of finding an answer to this question. Hmmm, how insubstantial. ...next!

Otaku Challenge, Day 17

Your favourite cosplayer.

I found out about this woman after reading an article recently on The Escapist, the home of the fast-talking frequently-swearing englishman with the variety of yellow swatches. I'll quote a little of the article, so I don't have to write much new material. ...I'm going to copy and paste. Watch me, here I go: "When 25-year-old Michelle Perl lost her mother to cancer in 2007, she needed a source of inner-strength to help her change an ongoing unhealthy lifestyle. That source? Samus Aran from the Metroid series. At the time, Perl was overweight and suffered from low self-esteem. However, with the help of Samus, she was able to lose over 100 pounds and greatly improve her life."

Basically, she was sad and depressed and she used Samus Aran (the good Samus Aran, not the Other M Samus Aran) as a vehicle to pull herself out of her muck after a personal tragedy. That's pretty goddamn devoted, and ignoring the Metroid influences entirely, it takes a lot of balls to pull yourself out of a deep depression by pure willpower alone. It really makes you think about all the good people can do. And all the work people will put themselves through in order to squeeze into a skin-tight blue jumpsuit. Don't read too much into that, on second thoughts.

Video Game Challenge, Day 17

Favourite antagonist.

This is a bit like telling me to pick my favourite Doctor Who - there are so many brilliant videogame badguys! Bowser, SHODAN, Dr Breen, GLaDOS, Albert Wesker, Vergil, Arkham Asylum's Joker, LeChuck. Oh, Garry fucking Oak. There's a lot.

At the end of the day, I'm going to have to say it's a joint between Andrew Ryan and Frank Fontaine from Bioshock. Andrew Ryan, because he is the only bad guy I can actually think of right now that was just pure evil enough to be called a "villain," yet upstanding, passionate, and well-spoken enough to also be something of a hero figure. And Fontaine because, well... he basically went through with the biggest double-cross/backstab in videogame history. If you haven't seen the joyfully evil yet sympathetically human portrayals of Bioshock's two main antagonists, you're missing out. Not just for videogames - for anything. Because let's get this well straight: Bioshock is, indeed, a work of art.

Tune in tomorrow for... sigh... more of "whatever tickles my fancy," the website where I usually download or watch anime and my favourite videogame protagonist.

30 Day Challenges, Part 16 - No Time For Introductions

2011-04-22T04:38:00.000-07:00

It appears I must dash! In which case, I have no time to write an interesting spiel! I mean I only use them to pad out the blog's main page so it's not filled with Doctor Who stuff anyway, so what do I care? Regardless! I bid you good day, sirs and ma'ams, and I shall see you tomorrow! Enjoy the answers etc. etc. byyeeee~

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 16

Your favourite Who-related fanfic.

Yes, this isn't a fanfic. It's a cartoon. And also the Daleks learned to fly. So the cartoon doesn't even make all that much sense anymore (note wheels). But it's still my favourite unofficial "fan picture". I like anything that turns the Daleks from the menacing tank-like creatures they are (they're fucking tanks, don't deny it), into just... adorable pepper-pots on wheels. With toilet plungers for hands. And cute little beanstalk eyes.

Otaku Challenge, Day 16

Can you tell us the name you use on forums?

One name I use on anime/hentai forums is Andy 117. The other is Nyandy. Like "Andy," but with a "nyan". I do, of course, blame K-On! for that name. "Azunyan" turned to "Azunyandy" turned to "Nyandy". It's an adorable otaku name isn't it. It conveys cuteness. I like to be cute on the intene- ...oh. Hello, non-otaku readers. Did I freak you out just now? Let's move quickly on. *ahem*

Video Game Challenge, Day 16

Game with the best cutscenes.

The gameplay in Final Fantasy XIII is... well it's not terrible. It's not all that engaging (to me, anyway), and my opinion on other factors of the game have been made well clear, often to the point that article titles are emitted. But... and I do have to give Square Enix props for this... the cutscenes are amazing. Even with the Jason Bourne-esque shaky-cam effects, the pre-rendered stuff is... jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And the characters actually look like humans. They honestly never dip into the uncanny valley. So Final Fantasy XIII, that's your legacy. Well-earned, I suppose. The gamers of tomorrow will remember Final Fantasy XIII as "that game with the awesome cutscenes." Excuse me, I think I threw up a little in my mouth just now.

Tune in tomorrow for more of whatever tickles my fancy, my favourite cosplayer, and my favourite videogame antagonist. Sweet.

30 Day Challenges, Part 15 - Catch Up

2011-04-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

Why must I always miss these deadlines? Regardless, this is the last of the overdue 30 Day Challenge responses for Doctor Who, Otaku, and Video Game stuff. I hope you enjoy this batch of answers and will forgive me for being late (but less late than the other one) with this Part 15, also. It was Portal 2's fault. It is terribly addictive.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 15

Favourite Who-related Tumblr.

So my friend saw I was doing these challenges. And he was all, "yo, I wanna do those challenges, too!" And I'm like "okay!" And he did them. So we're sort of comparing notes a lot. This is his Tumblr here. His favourite Doctor, for example, is Colin Baker. Did you know that? No you did not know that. You don't even know who I'm talking about. Unless of course you are who I'm talking about, in which case - do you feel awkward yet?

Otaku Challenge, Day 15

Favourite Jrock/Jpop band.

Yoko Kanno's The Seatbelts. The genius musical talents behind the soundtrack of Cowboy Bebop, the theme song of Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, and countless videogames and studio albums. They aren't specifically "Jpop," as they play a huge range of genres, from blues to country to electro-op to jazz to metal, but they do have a wide selection of Jpop and Jrock songs in their expansive musical catalogue, notably on the Bebop-tie-in album "Cowgirl Ed." They're just brilliant, perhaps the greatest big band group of all time, and definitely one of the greatest Japanese musical groups of the 20th century.

Video Game Challenge, Day 15

Post a screenshot from the game you're playing right now.

Here's a screenshot from the amazing Portal 2. I tried to get single-PC co-op working splitscreen, and I achieved it thanks to the amazing people over at the Steam forums, who had an in-depth guide up in only a few short days. Here's a screenshot to document my efforts - split-screen working on PC using code left over from the Xbox 360 version of the game. It's certainly very cool to see the viewpoints of both participants at once without having to resort to the internet-play "picture in picture" mode.

Well, that's it, I'm all caught up for now! Tune in tomorrow for my favourite Who-related fanfic, the anime name I use in forums, and the game with the best cutscenes. Until then, Andy out!

30 Day Challenge, Part 14 - Late Again, Again

2011-04-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

Don't mind me. I've been playing Portal 2, and missed three (three!) days of these 30 Day Challenges. And yes, I am committed to finishing them. And on time, too. I'm sure if you really care about my answers, you can forgive a three-day wait; so let's press on and forget this ever happened. I mean, until next time I'm late.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 14

The villain who scared you most.

Ahh, I know this one. Cast your mind back, if you can, to 2006's episode The Age of Steel. This episode was Part 2 of the new series' first Cyberman serial. Now, the Cybermen themselves were sort of scary - I mean, they were lumbering metal men who could kill you by touching you, that's pretty scary, and they lumbered like the zombies from Night of the Living Dead, that is creepy. So yeah, they are pretty creepy.

But the creepiest part is that, unlike the original Cybermen who sort of are a whole race by themselves, is that these Cybermen are butchered humans in a metallic shell. I think the scene that scared me the most was the one scene about thirty minutes in, when the Doctor accidentally disables one of the Cybermen's emotional inhibitor units, and the person inside starts talking - in the same creepy monotone - about missing her boyfriend, before muttering, "cold. So cold." God, that was scary. That sent chills up my spine. It wasn't "hide behind the couch" scared, it was real fear, real "oh god, what has this dystopian future become?" Yeah, that's my answer. 2006's Cybermen.

Otaku Challenge, Day 14

A cosplay group of your favourite anime.

My favourite anime is Cowboy Bebop. You know this by now. And... eh, here's a pic of a cosplay group I found when I searched Google for "Cowboy Bebop Cosplay Group". Not much more I can say. It's a nice photo really, the Spike closest to the left in particular looking very cool (though the other Spike looks a lot like Keeanu Reeves who is rumoured to be playing Spike in a live-action Hollywood adaption of Bebop). But yeah, there we go. I can't really delve deeper into this, not knowing much more about it.

Video Game Challenge, Day 14

Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper.

Black Mesa's logo -decrepit, decayed, worn out. It's a very cool wallpaper. And Half-Life is still Valve's best single-player game. (Sorry, Portal 2 was great and all, but nothing will ever trump Half-Life in terms of sheer "wow, videogames can do this?" ...so I love Half-Life, and all Half-Life iconography. Here's me waiting for Black Mesa Source to be finished already!!

Oh, speaking of Portal? Remember to go over to Andy Plays Games to find a retrospective review of Portal: Still Alive, before next Tuesday's planned review of the fantastic sequel Portal 2. I have a LAN party where me and a friend will play through the co-op campaign together over the course of a night, where pizza will be eaten and portals will be placed. Once we complete that campaign together, it is then that I will put my opinion on Portal 2 down in words for y'all to read. Until then, see you soon, everybody!

Tune back in a few minutes to see (overdue) my favourite Doctor Who-related Tumblr page, my favourite Jrock/Jpop band, and a screenshot from the game I'm playing right now? Can't guess which one, can you. (Sarcasm self-test completed.)

30 Day Challenges, Part 13 - Superstition

2011-04-18T02:22:00.000-07:00

Oh no! Day 13! Bad things will certainly happen? I might get asked a question about villains! Or a question I can't answer satisfactorily! Or, hell, even a vague question that could be answered the any of fifty different ways! ...no. You'd have to be a blithering idiot to believe in superstitious bullshit like that. Superstitious, or, you know, ironic.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 13

Your favourite villain.

Oh, Doctor Who does have a lot of villains, doesn't it? ...hold on. Not really. Doctor Who has a lot of monsters. But Daleks aren't villains. Sontarans aren't villains. Cybermen aren't villains. They're monsters, or foes, but not genuine villains. No, Doctor Who has only two recurring villains I can think of - Davros, and the Master.

So, out of those two, my favourite is probably the incarnation of the Master that chased John Pertwee around while he was stuck on Earth. He was like an evil wizard; not unlike Christopher Lee's character from Lord of the Rings (if you'll excuse the comparison), and he was a joy to watch just be... well... plain evil. He's probably the only Doctor Who villain who is so aware that he is just an evil bastard. I mean, even Davros thinks what he's doing is right - the Master, by contrast, just wanted to take over the universe using increasingly overly-complex and convoluted schemes. He's just a delight.

Otaku Challenge, Day 13

A wacky ship that you would love.

I don't get it. I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Maybe this is my stupidity, but I have no freaking idea what a "wacky ship" is meant to be. Apparently "crossovers are okay," and Googling it I found someone answering the same question with slashfic concepts, so... maybe I have some idea what it is...

What the hell, a wacky "ship" I would love is the ship from Cowboy Bebop. It's a spaceship, though. It occasionally parks in the ocean, but it does, in fact, ship stuff in space. So it's a spaceship. I'm sorry if that answer is unsatisfactory but I just don't understand what is being asked of me because I'm obviously a retard. But it's technically a ship and it's animu-related so euuurghh.

Video Game Challenge, Day 13

A game you've played more than 5 times.

I know a game I've played more than 5 times! An indie game that is rather fantastic called BIT.TRIP BEAT, on the PC. How do I know how many times I've played it? Because the game is made up of three, 15-minute levels. Not just levels that take around 15 minutes either, the game is tied to a strict limit (being music-based, you see), so the game takes 45 minutes to play through all the way. And I have played the game for a total of... 10 hours, says my Steam stats. I have of course played Portal more than 5 times, too, but... oh god I love Portal, but I've told myself to shut up about Portal. It is, you know, my favourite game of all time. Just a little bit.

Oh I just noticed that the request is somewhat vague. "Played 5 times," I took as "completed 5 times," though I guess it could mean literally "have played 5 times," in which case, god, I dunno, Crysis 2? Borderlands? Freakin' Pac-man, it could be any game. No. Go with my first interpretation. The other one is a bit silly.

Well, there you go, sirs. Tune in tomorrow for the Doctor Who villain who scared me most, a cosplay group of my favourite anime, and my current gaming PC wallpaper.

30 Day Challenges, Part 12 - Popped Culture

2011-04-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

I usually write these opening spiels after finding some kind of link between my three answers. In today's case, in this series of Doctor Who, otaku, and video game challenges, I just couldn't fine one beyond an excessive use of popular culture. So, that turned into a pun - "popped culture" - and then I found an image of popcorn to cash in on that painful joke. I am a petty, petty man. Regardless; enjoy.

Doctor Who Challenge, Part 12

Whatever tickles your fancy.

Believe it or not, I read PC Gamer. I know, it's uncanny. Anyway, one of the best things about PC Gamer (their website, anyway), is a little segment called "Saturday Crapshoot," by one Richard Cobbett, who reminds me if David Mitchell were smushed together with Ben Crosshaw. He is as such a cynical, angry, yet coldly logical person, who dissects old, shit PC games in a Let's Play-style manner. It's quite a fun read, really.

One of his articles focuses on an old Doctor Who game called Destiny of the Doctors, and you should all read the article right now. However, if you're not in the market for clicking links, here's a small example of his cold-hearted, logical humour: "Say what you like about the Master – he’s a good sport in this game. Beat him in a challenge and he releases the Doctor’s incarnation just as promised, even if he does make a point of trying to pretend that he’s only letting you win for his own amusement. Get them all back and his tone somewhat changes, as his allies realise that he’s been playing them in order to conquer the universe and go after him. As the ancient Galifreyan proverb says, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 56,756,234 times in assorted universes, seriously, just kill me and get it over with.'" Now, that's gold.

Otaku Challenge, Day 12

Silliest filler.

I must digress - I have not seen a lot of anime that even has the need for "filler". It's usually one-season, 26-episode story-driven stuff, and barely any filler is in those. But, I have seen some silly fillers in these series. The silliest of which... probably episode 13 of To Aru Majustu no Index's spin-off, Toaru Kagaku no Railgun, in which all the main characters (all attractive, moe, college-aged schoolgirls) enter a holodeck-style photoshoot-lab thing and basically just dress up in bikinis and... cook each other gourmet lunches. Huh.

It's fan-service, but that doesn't excuse the idiocy of it all - or why it is laden with in-jokes and pop culture references. For example, I'm sure the target audience of Toara Kagaku no Railgun know nothing of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, so in makes little sense that, when the girls find themselves stuck on the moon inside the holodeck-thingy, they find the freaking monolith. Oh, how very, very silly. I did enjoy it, mind. It was just oh so very very, insultingly even, silly.

Video Game Challenge, Day 12

A game everyone should play.

I bet you think I'm going to say something like Portal, aren't you? You think I'm going to suggest everyone should play Half-Life 2 or something. Crysis. Psychonauts, maybe? Well, don't be so stupid, sir or ma'am; as much as there are the games I love, they certainly aren't the games I'd recommend to "everyone". No, of course not.

Audiosurf. Yes, Audiosurf. Why? Because everyone loves their own taste in music. Audiosurf is a game built around your own music collection, and though the gameplay itself - that is to say, a sort of Tetris-like block-matching game - is sort of simple, it's the experience of being able to "ride" your music that is the core substance found within Audiosurf. It's incredibly user-friendly, with several difficulty modes, and the enjoyability of the game really coming from what sort of mp3s you have on your computer. It's a game everyone can play, and it's a game every should play, because it really is just one hell of an accessible, enthralling experience. ...also everyone should play Portal. Okay I'll shut up now.

Be sure to come in tomorrow for my favourite Doctor Who villain, a wacky ship that I would love (...huh?), and a game that I've played more than five times. Bye!

30 Day Challenges, Part 11 - Soon Thereafter

2011-04-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

Turns out "soon" means something like 22 hours of internet time. Oh well, I'd say this is probably one of the cheeriest 30 Day Challenges so far - the Doctor Who, otaku, and videogame challenges are probing, as usual, yet enjoyably varied. Have fun reading, guys, and I'll be back soon for reals with Part 12. Then I'll be all caught up, promise.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 11

Your favourite season.

"Seasons" are a bit hard to pick of Doctor Who, since I don't know where the old seasons stop or start. I quite liked the opening serials of Peter Davidson, for example, but what series is that? I guess I could look it up. But that defeats the whole point, of choosing from what I know, doesn't it? So rejoice, those who only followed the series since 2005, I'm more or less confined by my finite knowledge to the new series of Doctor Who.

So. My favourite series so far would have to be... the latest one. Matt Smith's first season. Season 35, the chirping voice in my ear tells me. I know, Matt Smith took some time to get used to, but I just think it's overall the most solid season we've had out of Doctor Who so far. Also, it certainly doesn't hurt that Steven Moffat had his first run as showrunner - he has always been my favourite Doctor Who writer for the most recent series, so having him get his own whole series is just sort of a nerd's wet dream right there. Assuming, anyway, that the aforementioned nerd is me.

Otaku Challenge, Day 11

A light novel you can suggest.

Well, I can suggest any light novel, but I assume you mean out of the ones that I have actually read, Mr Challenge. And, honestly, the one light novel I've read is The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Can I recommend it? Well the translation is a little stock-standard, I'm sure the translator (whoever it is who did the English translations) was trained as an editor and not an author.

Beyond that, it's a fairly original and engrossing plot with a more-than likable, Charlie Brown-esque lead character and an anti-heroine who grows on you more and more as the plot rolls on; accompanied by a varied cast of interspersed and interplanetary SOS Brigade members. And if you think Haruhi is "annoying," it helps that it's read out from Kyon's point of view the whole story - and Kyon, too, thinks Haruhi is just a pain in the arse. Worth a read if you can find it, for sure. Call that a recommendation.

Video Game Challenge, Day 11

Gaming system of choice.

Why, I play primarily all my games on the personal computer, my dear chum! I've had to inject it with computational steroids to get it working even half-decently, but with with impressive stats (for 2010, anyway), and enough processing power to run Crysis smooth as silk, it's the hub of all my video game-related entertainment. ...and for those who must know the specs: Gigabyte 790XT DDR3 motherboard, AMD Phenom II X4 945 Processor running at 3.0GHz with 4 cores, 4GB of DDR3 RAM, Windows 7 64-bit, 2 x 1TB HDD, and a Radeon HD5770 Hawk. Windows rates it as a 5.9 out of 7. (Yes, that's arbitrary as hell, but just bear with me.)

However, I would be amiss not to mention (as I always do when these sort of "what's your system?" questions arise), that I do not exclusively game on any one system, and those who do are idiots of the highest order that are only going so far as to punish themselves and but an unnecessary lock on the scope of gaming which they may enjoy. Alright, that's it for me, I'm done here.

Tune in soon - promise! - for the silliest anime filler, a game everyone should play, and from Doctor Who - whatever tickles my fancy. Eh.

30 Day Challenges, Part 10 - Late Again!

2011-04-16T04:07:00.000-07:00

Oh, no! I said it before that I wouldn't be late for a date. And yet, I was! This is such a terrible turn of events. Last night I was simply too pre-occupied to think too much (read: at all) of these 30 Day Challenges. It is a bit if a dilemma! Regardless, I hope you will take my belated and wholly unfounded apology and stick it up your arse, because I'm not your slave and I operate on my own time, you selfish, self-entitled twat.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 10

A Who-related photo that you took.

I have never taken a Who-related photo. Sad, but I never have. As such, here is a crayon drawing of Matt Smith, that red-headed woman, and the guy who dressed up as a Roman soldier, standing next to the TARDIS, in a grassy, meadow-type meadow. Cherish it, dear friends, for it will soon be exactly where it is right now, and at that moment, you can continue to view it as you could now. Nothing is happening.

Otaku Challenge, Day 10

Genre of manga you read most of the time.

I don't know if this is really a genre... but probably the science-fiction/fantasy slice-of-life genre. That is to say, slice-of-life - you know, where people go to school and live life as they do - mixed with fantasy. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Rosario + Vampire, Because I'm the Goddess!, The Gear Who Leapt Through Time, why, even stuff like To Aru Majutsu no Index and Macross Frontier fits into this genre. Maybe even Neon Genesis Evangelion, though that has mechs in it and I'm not a huge fan of mechs. Oh yes, of course, Full Metal Panic! is in there too. That about covers all the examples I can muster. Science-fiction/fantasy slice-of-life. It's pretty abundant, so it's pretty easy to see how it's my most-read genre.

Video Game Challenge, Day 10

Best gameplay.

I think perhaps the game with best gameplay... either something exuberantly simple like Portal, with not a huge array of gameplay mechanics, yet refined to a point; or perhaps Super Mario Galaxy or something that has a refined yet mixed bag of fun, contrasting gameplay mechanics.

Yes, I'm going to go with Portal. It's use of one, simple mechanic, stretched out over a whole game in fantastic ways, is, in no short way of speaking, genius. As soon as you think you understand how the physics of the portals work, the game throws you another unique challenge that makes you think differently from before. It's brilliant, and it gives the gameplay a biting edge to match the wit and humour of the game's writing. So yeah, I really like Portal, a lot. And the gameplay amounts for a good 60% of this lot.

Tune in soonish to discover my favourite Doctor Who season, a light novel I can suggest, and my gaming system of choice!

30 Day Challenges, Part 9 - Keep Crying, Baby

2011-04-14T03:04:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. It seems today's answers may be mildly depressing for those who know what I'm talking about, for all three counts - specifically the video game challenge today. Regardless, let us press on! Go forth and weep, gentlemen. I insist.

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 9

A Who-related photo that makes you sad.

Such was the popularity of Doctor Who in the 1960s, that a big-screen motion picture was developed, sharing the plot of the early Dalek episodes of the TV show. It was called Dr Who and the Daleks, and, while certainly a good film for its time and is a timeless relic in its own right, has become a sore, non-canon thumb in Doctor Who's otherwise pretty streaky clean history. The main character is named Dr Who, and there are Daleks. Do you see the problem? Peter Cushing plays Dr Who. How about now? No? Well I'll fill you in.

...they refer to "the Doctor," as Dr Who, and his name is Dr Who!! And "doctor" is contracted to "Dr". I'm sorry, Mr Cushing, but if it's all the same to you, as far as I'll ever be concerned, Dr Who stands for "Drive Who," and the insipid, product placement-riddled "Drive Who and the Daleks" make me very, very angry. Decent B-movie, mind.

Otaku Challenge, Day 9

Your favourite anime quote.

Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop, Episode 26, "The Real Folk Blues, Part II":

"Bang."

Video Game Challenge, Day 9

Saddest game scene.

Videogames have never made me "cry," per se. Some have bought me to the brink of tears - surprisingly, Gears of War 2 nearly did, with Dom finding out his wife had died, or Jackie in The Darkness unwillingly killing his girlfriend. But there is a scene, the final scene in Half-Life 2: Episode Two, that, far from making me cry, had my mouth hanging open in horror and shock. I won't tell you, for it's probably the biggest Half-Life 2 spoiler there is. But those who know what I'm talking about? You know why this is my answer.

Rest in peace, old friend. And mark my words: you will be avenged.

Tune in tomorrow when you can see a Who-related photo that I took, find out the genre of manga I read most of the time, and learn which game in my opinion has the best gameplay!

30 Day Challenges, Part 8 - Mixed Bag

2011-04-13T03:07:00.000-07:00

Today's responses to the Doctor Who, otaku, and Video Game challenges are a mixed bag. We have things that make me happy, a "most rude thing people have said to me" thing, and a bittersweet remembrance of fallen heroes in the form of a game soundtrack that I most enjoy. First, however, note something weird about the image above. I searched "mixed bag" in Google, and obviously it represents a mixed bag of sweets. But they're all bloody snakes! That's no mix! In the immortal words of Kif Kroker, "I see two almonds touching!!"

Doctor Who Challenge, Day 8

A Who-related photo that makes you happy.

I'm not going to blame Doctor Who for the recent widespread adoption of 3D in film and video. And I think by mentioning that, I preemptively did. Rather, I am going to sit and smile at David Tennant - shockingly - pulling off the "I can see the universe through a pair of flimsy stereoscopic spectacles!" thing with surprising aplomb. I think these scenes of Tennant, combined with the "wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff" speech, best portray how his Doctor worked - serious as hell, but still just goofy enough to make him fun to watch instead of a complete bore. Tee hee, the Doctor is wearing 3D glasses!

Otaku Challenge, Day 8

Rudest remark you get because of your otaku ways.

Someone once insulted me for my otaku ways by saying that all I do is want to "fuck cartoons". Or indeed, something along those lines. And while indeed I look at "sexy" anime pictures, and watch and read hentai, viewing abstract illustrations of the female body and enjoying real-life relationships with actual people, women or not, aren't mutually exclusive. It's not so much rude as it is slightly demeaning, but considering the forum in which the discussion took place, it's obvious that we both were out of our depth. So yes, being ridiculed because I "only want to fuck cartoons" (a fallacy, needless to say) is the about the rudest I recall; being called a sad loner and a strange weirdo are all par for the course.

Video Game Challenge, Day 8

Best soundtrack.

There are an awful lot of game soundtracks that are incredible. Portal, of course. The Grand Theft Auto series has always had an impressive track list, especially the Vice City incarnations. Michael Giachinno's Medal of Honour and Black soundtracks are astounding, and Hans Zimmer has recently started churning out intense, thematic tunes for the likes of Modern Warfare 2 and Crysis 2. And, of course, Harry Gregson-Williams continues to churn out fantastic score after fantastic score. But my personal favourite - at least, for now - is the mournful, atmospheric, and swelling Halo: Reach soundtrack. I am of course on the record of not being a massive fan of Reach itself, but the soundtrack is a work of art on its own merits and is definitely the best orchestral game soundtrack... that I can think of right now.

Of course, the classics 8- and 16-bit tunes are going to stick with me forever as well - probably one of the best albums of video-game tunes is Smashing: Live!, a live orchestral recording of the arrangements from Super Smash Bros. Melee. But the Halo: Reach soundtrack is my favourite game soundtrack so far, following on from Halo's iconic themes and ideas, and imbuing them with all the warmth and emotion of a military funeral. I love it, and it works to save the game from being entirely a waste of production time and money.

Tune in tomorrow, faithful imps, to discover a Who-related photo that makes me sad, my favourite anime quote, and the saddest game scene.