Life is for the living

2013-09-23T11:40:00.001-07:00

Your Good

“And we know that all things work together for good (to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose).” Romans 8:28

The bible says that all things work together for our good. It’s important that we fully understand the meaning of the word all. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word all as “the whole, entire, total amount, quantity, or extent of”. This means that everything is ultimately working in our favor. The bible does not say some things. The bible says all things – this means favorable things, unfavorable things, things that frustrate us, things that confuse us, the bad, the good, the ugly, and the indifferent – ALL things.

Let me encourage you. Today, no matter what you are facing, please hang in there, knowing that God is with you. HE loves you. HE cares. Whatever it is that you are facing, know that it is for your good. I know it doesn’t feel like it but the GOD that I serve has a plan and his plans only work in your favor. God can turn your mess into a message!

Be blessed. God loves you!

What do you choose for today?

2013-01-08T08:21:00.001-08:00

Today, I am thakful for life. My positive thought of the day is that the only person holding me back is me. That is how powerful I am. I can use my power for good and edification or I can sit here and watch life happen. It's my choice. What do you choose today?

The choice to be happy! :)

2012-03-12T13:20:00.000-07:00

Today, I woke up with a renewed mind and attitude. The sun was shining, the weather was unseasonably warm, and I felt content and loved. For the past couple of weeks, I've been distracted with issues and problems but this weekend, I put things into perspective. I decided to be happy. It's a choice. I decided not to let issues, unexpected unpleasantries, and things I deem unfair to rattle my cage. In life, there will always be something. Something unpleasant will always come up but hey, I don't complain when life is great, do I? Life can certainly be great and guess what? Things can be up or down but I want to enjoy the limited time on this earth as much as possible. So, I cried my last tear yesterday. Not really but no matter what comes my way, I know that I am loved and God is constantly looking out for me. With that being said, whom shall I fear? Nothing nor anyone! Today, choose to be happy with me! Life won't be easy but we don't have to be miserable. XOXO

The Year thus far

2012-01-25T12:04:00.000-08:00

I have a New Attitude! *singing* It's a new year and I've truly approached the new year and life as a whole with a brand new attitude. I don't sweat the small stuff, I am making time for a social life, and with each day, I become better at knowing when to let go, and identifying what is important. Material things are nice but people and connections are what is most important. Keeping this in mind, I am trying to re-connect with those I once was "too busy" for and trying to re-build bridges with co-workers that were severed. For the past month, I've been somewhat of a social butterfly. I even call myself Social Sally but I am LIVING, LAUGHING, and LOVING. 2012 has been wonderful to me and it will be the same for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

A new year, a new beginning *exhale*. The year 2011, I must say was wonderful. As I look back, I learned so much, gained so much insight, created new memories, re-connected with loved ones, and met some wonderful people. Don't get me wrong. Not every day was rosy in 2011 but I certainly had more good days than not-so-good days. What more can a girl ask for? I have my health, a wonderful family, and a great support system. I no longer spend all of my time working. There was a time I was strictly going from job to job with hardly any time to think. Not anymore!That was a decision I made in 2011 and I must say it was one of the best decisions I've made in my lifetime.Instead of working all of the time, I maintained bonds and connections with my family and friends by making more time for them. Life is for the living and are we really living if we aren't being a blessing to others, enriching the lives of others, and having the time of our lives? My answer is NO! As for 2012, I will take all of the lessons and blessings from 2011 and continue to blossom into the beautiful, strong, supportive person that I am becoming. I don't have any resolutions. All I can say is that I promise to Seize the Day and to continue to live, laugh, and love. Isn't life grand? 2012 will be better than 2011. With that being said, I expect nothing short of a joyful, prosperous, successful, and wonderful year. I wish you the same!

Oh, give thanks!

2011-11-29T11:14:00.001-08:00

For the first time ever I did not celebrate Thanksgiving Day with my family this year. I was a bit nervous and a tad saddened but I felt as if it was a choice I had to make. For one, my work schedule did not allow it. Initially, I was going to contest this because of course, family comes first. An unexpected event stopped me from doing so. I decided not to contest my work schedule when the mother of my significant other became extremely sick and was hospitalized. We didn't know what was wrong with her but we knew she was now immobile. At that moment, I realized that someone else needed me more than one missed occasion with my family. I love my family dearly but I find comfort in the fact that we have many more occasions to gather and celebrate.

Had I gone home, I would have abandoned someone I cherish deeply but also someone who is slowly losing his mother. He would have been in this area by himself and may have “celebrated” Thanksgiving in the hospital.

In life, we make choices and I decided to be there for someone. I had no idea what Thanksgiving would mean this year to me nor if I would enjoy it. Would it be the same without my family and our cute traditions? I did not know! We don't always have to know what is to come. Expect that you attract positive people and positive environments. I certainly do and I did! A lovely couple welcomed "S.A." and I to their home. They have no idea how much that meant to us. For one, we were able to visit his mother who is still bed-ridden without the worries of where we would eat, what we would eat, and who would have the time to cook. Two, when I say they opened their home, they opened their home to us! We were greeted by laughter, a wonderful spread of food, and cheer in the air. Most important, we were greeted by love. We had a wonderful time. Thanksgiving was different this year but it was still wonderful.

Many people don’t have a home-cooked meal on Thanksgiving Day. Many people have to work. Some people are in prison, deployed, and/or separated from their loved ones. Yet, here I was, surrounded by love. For that, I am thankful and know that I am truly blessed.

Thanks to the wonderful couple, they made two people have a home to go to, exchange memories and joy, and touched our hearts tremendously.

I thank them and I thank everyone who touches someone. Whether you realize it or not, it matters.

Many blessings!

You have so much to offer

2011-11-17T13:11:00.001-08:00

Have you ever thought about how special you are? How many lives you have touched? How this world would be different without you? I'm sure at some point, we all reflect on who we are and what we have to offer. Well, if no one has said these words to you in a while, let me say it now, "YOU have so much to offer." We each are uniquely designed and all created with different skills, talents, and gifts. You may not speak as eloquently as Person A. You may not know how to sing like Person B. You may not be the best sales person on your job. You may not be as creative as Person C, but you, my friend, have your own set of gifts. These gifts belong only to you so it is up to you to tap into them and apply them where you see fit. Don't look at another's talents and become envious. That is a distraction from your destiny and your destiny is yours and only yours to be fulfilled. You have so much richness to offer to the world. Think about it. What do people commend you for? What role do people often say they see you in? What did people say they saw in you from the time you were a child? Sometimes, our blind spot is the fact that are strengths come so natural to us, they are so instinctive, that it is difficult for us to identify them. Today, not only do I want you to know that you have a lot to offer but I also want you to know that you are equipped with all of the tools to live up to your potential, realize your dreams, and live a fulfilling life.

Be blessed. You certainly are a blessing!

Praying to be a blessing

2011-09-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Many people often wonder what their talents may be, what gifts have been entrusted to them, etc. Many of us wonder what our purpose in life may be. I pray and ask God that he shows me my gifts, my talents, my purpose. I still don't know what it is. I once heard a wise person say that God will place people in your life who will identify your strengths, gifts, and talents. If that's the case, I will wait on God. People have often stated that I am inspiring and should be a motivational speaker. Is that the case? I don't know but I want God to have his way. I noticed that S.A.'s gifts are his fabulous cooking, his decorative eye, and his generous spirit. He is so talented and gifted. He inspires me to be a better person. No, I won't be like him but if I can find a way to use my gifts to bless others, I want to do so. My house truly feels like a sanctuary and I wish to share it with others. My words have been said to be uplifting at times when people need it most so I pray that I use my words wisely. I've been told that I am very beautiful and intelligent. Even though, I don't always feel that way, I know I must be because God created me, HIS masterpiece. If my beauty and intelligence can be a blessing to others, let God's will be done. Most important, I want to be able to put a smile on peoples face, make people know that they matter, that I care about them. As I continue to pray on how I can be a blessing to others, I ask that you join me in this prayer so that it will be answered soon. As I make a difference in someone's life, I believe they will in turn pay it forward and make a difference in someone else's life. We are all in this together. I pray that my talents, gifts, and purpose will soon be revealed to me. If you are questioning yours, I pray that you, too, find that answer.

Many Blessings!

God Favors Me.................

2011-08-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

We may not always know WHY things happen. Most of the time, we actually don't know. There are those few times, where God reveals the why but not in our time, in HIS time. We tend not to question when wonderful things take place in our lives but as humans, when things don't necessarily go according to the way we may have planned or desired, we often pose the question, "Why?" As difficult as it may be, I try to no longer ask why. Instead I ask for strength to go through whatever I am going through and two, to find the "good" in the situation, no matter what it may be. This is a process for me but the more I let go, the more I find that God shows up in my situations, HE blesses me when I least expect it, HE comforts me when I most need it, etc.

I truly had a wonderful weekend. I had one full day of "me" time, something that everyone needs. There was no working, there wasn't anyone around. It was just me, my bed, my couch, my T.V., my e-reader, etc. Let me tell you. I exercised! I napped, woke up, napped , and woke up again. I simply felt at peace. I actually got to sit back and look around me and enjoy my home, a home that through God's grace and mercy is beautifully decorated and furnished now.

The day before, we (S.A. and I) had a couple of friends over. We had such a wonderful time. My house was full of great people, love, laughter, good food, and it was simply a great time. I believe everyone had a great time and that is a testament to God's greatness. I pray that I can be a blessing to others and that everyone who steps foot in my home, leaves feeling at peace, loved, and blessed.

I am so thankful for everything that I've been through. If I didn't go through it, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't have met S.A., the best person I know. I wouldn't have a house that feels like a home but I had to let go and truly trust God. GOD FAVORS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I ask that you trust God and let go of the things you need to......He will make a way out of no way and take care of your every need.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:25-26

Me time....

2011-08-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

So, I've made some tough decisions within the past few months but they were decisions that needed to be made. I'm so looking forward and moving beyond the past. *exhale*. I have a house that is looking like a home more and more each day. My beau and I (mostly him) have really transformed this living space. It's a space that one enters and immediately, you feel at peace, serene, and at home. A lot of work went into getting it to where it is but it was well worth it. Right now, we are taking a break from the house projects and it's time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Between the house projects and both jobs, I've been rather busy. Being so busy, I haven't had the time to really reflect and see where I am now and where I wish to go, moving forward. What is missing now...is that important element in life.....me time. Time where it's just me, myself, and I. Time for me to read, unwind, reflect, write. I haven't had anytime for me time and the last thing I want to do is to neglect ME! So, I'm going to change that. I'm going to Jamaica for a couple of days and I look forward to fun in the sun, seeing my family, but also getting away. I hope to come back refreshed and renewed. Upon my return, I will definitely have more dates with myself. So should you!!

Have a blessed day!

Falling into place

2011-08-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

As I reclaim my life, I must say that I see everything falling into place. Things didn't work out as I thought they would but my, my, my what a mighty GOD I serve. I am reminded daily of how immensely blessed I am. Sometimes, we hold on to the very thing(s) that God wants us to get rid of and they actually keep us stuck in a rut. On this journey of change, I am trying to see the good in all that takes place, roll with the punches, and have fun. Life shouldn't pass me by. I want to live and so I am living. As I realize what truly is important, I am able to connect with others and be a blessing to them in whatever way/form they may need. Whatever you may be facing today, I want to encourage you. No matter how things may seem, there is a master plan that you may not be privvy to. Live, laugh, love. We aren't here forever and as you let go of things you cannot control, train yourself to be and think positive, walk towards peace, and embrace life wholeheartedly, I guarantee that things will change for the better.

May peace be with you!!

Creating a state of normalcy

2011-07-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that of late, I've been in really, really great spirits. It's as if everything is coming together. Things did indeed break apart in my past but I've come to realize that it was for the very reason that better things would fall in its place. The other day a friend of mine asked how I was doing. I responded and said that I felt as if my life was starting to finally evolve back into a state of normalcy. She resopnded by saying, "That's great, whatever normalcy is." I thought about it and then realized that nothing in my life, as far as I can remember was ever "normal" so it dawned upon me that this peace and "normalcy" that I now feel is something I had to create. In the past, I was such a passive player in life that I truly never felt at peace. I wasn't the master of my fate. I didn't make things happen and as a result things happened to me. With that being said, after dusting off my shoulders and picking myself up, my mind is now renewed. I am the master of my fate. I also deserve to be joyful and prosper in every area in my life. I've learned so much and realized the importance and significance of many things and that my friend, is that the best things are not things. I'm starting to re-connect with people who were dear to me and also making time for those I love the most even when there are distance and time constraints. In doing so, I not only love but I feel loved. Not only am I loving how I've evolved but I am determined to move forward with an expectancy of nothing but greatness. Life is indeed grand...

Discouragement

2011-07-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

Day by day, I am getting better at not allowing things to get to me too much. I want to be the type of person that bounces back quickly after a setback, dissapointing news, unexpected inconveniences, etc. Is that realistic? I truly believe it is. Of course, there is a time to feel pain, to mourn, to grieve, to feel sad, but I want to make sure that I don't stay in those places for a long time. I aim to see the good in every situation and the more that I do so, the more I notice that God's goodness shows up daily. I know HE wants to bless me immensely and pour HIS favor into my life. In fact, with every day that passes, I see tangible evidence of this. I also feel HIS love and favor. Most, if not all, of our battles are in the mind. If we can control our thoughts, we can control our actions. I came across a quote that stated that you cannot have a positive life and a negative mind. Isn't that powerful? I pray that not only will my outlook be sunny but it will be so bright that I will be a beacon of light for others. In times of discouragement, please remember this: I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not harm you. That of a future and of hope. (Jer 29:11) God's plans are to propel me higher. With that in mind, I truly cannot sweat the small stuff because I am being cared for and looked after. Don't allow discouragement to get the best of you. SHUT IT OUT!

Reclaiming my life

2011-07-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

We cannot change the past. We simply can't but we certainly can determine how we wish to move forward with our lives. Learn from your past. She is your best teacher. It's amazing the countless lessons one can tap into when faced with certain dilemmas and situations. As a result, make better decisions. Continue to create and re-create a new self, your better self. Don't compare youself to anyone. STAY IN YOUR LANE. My blessings will not look like your blessings and your blessings will not look like my blessings. Instead, aspire to develop into your best self. I want to be a better person but most important, I want to be my best self. I'm stronger and I'm wiser but I have to choose to channel that strength and wisdom so that I continue to grow and can be a blessing to others.

We all have setbacks but I made a decision a couple of months ago. I declare that I am reclaiming my life. I want to make more time for my family, re-connect with old friends (even though they are not in the area), pursue excellence in all areas, and be proud of me. I refuse to allow my past to determine or dictate my future. No, no, no....but it certainly will be used as a guide and a road map for better choices. Cheers to reclaiming life!!!

Forgiveness

2011-06-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

I spoke to an "old friend" today. I put old friend in quotations because his actions demonstrated that I could no longer consider him a friend. He manipulated me in a particular situation and my younger, trusting self, did not see it while it was happening. The situation that he involved me in brought stress and mental distress into my life. In addition, it sapped me of all of my savings. The range of feelings that I've felt from that time to today has varied. There have been times where I feel angry, times where I feel extremely hurt, mad, and depressed. He knows how I feel and he has apologized countless times. Today, there was a shift for me. After speaking to him, I prayed and I ask God for a more compassionate heart. I also ask for continued strength to keep living life as I should. This person said that every time that something bad happens to him, he always wonders if it was because of what he did to me. Every time! I don't want to be associated with what anyone believes to be negative karma. We all make mistakes. I know I have. Sometimes, we hurt people - albeit intentionally or unintentionally, but we have to recognize that we cannot change the past. We can, however, shape meaning out of our experiences and evolve into better human beings. Today, I ask God for a compassionate and forgiving heart. I've often heard that forgiving frees you, not the other person. Today, I choose freedom. I'm free and I've forgiven! I cannot forget because there was a sad wisdom that was obtained as a result of that experience. I, will, however discern what invitations to help are invitations for me to accept. Not all are. Today not only do I forgive but I pray that if I've hurt anyone unintentionally, they will forgive me.

Stay blessed and free yourself!!

Give credit where it is due

2011-06-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

At times, I think it's natural for one to reflect on the past. My issue of late is not to mentally stay there. The present needs to be relished and seized and the future should be embraced. I catch myself at times wondering the "what ifs", the "could haves", the "if I only saw"....but that is not healthy. In fact, I am robbing myself of peace and credit. When one reflects on their past, whether its mistakes or setbacks, I think it's important to realize that if a similar situation presented itself in the present day, it would be handled differently. It isn't fair to look at our younger selves with the same lens or expectations that we would hold our present day self to. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has been with "a mistake" (smile) but the fact of the matter is that we cannot change the past. We have control over the future, however. I am confident and proud to state that I am not the person I was at the age of 28, 25, etc. That's life. As we age, one would hope, we would become wiser and smarter. Today, I pat myself on the back. I can't control the past, I can't control other people. I can control me, my thoughts, and my reactions. Today, I choose to be happy and to be forward-thinking.
.............................................................................No Looking Back!

Compassion goes a long way

2011-06-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned previously, I was in a relationship that ended badly. I was left emotionally scarred, mentally scarred, and all of the furniture, whether it belonged to my ex or not, was taken. At the time, I allowed him to take whatever he wanted because I just wanted him out of my every day space. It's funny that you don't realize the importance of peace and how much it means until you mature. You just cannot put a price on peace. I therefore lived without furniture for close to two years, with the exception of my bedroom, which is furnished. Initially, it didn't bother me because I had peace, safety, and comfort of going to a home where there wouldn't be any conflict or contention.

After a while, however, my feelings started to change. I started to feel a certain way because I didn't feel right having anyone over; or if someone wanted to meet at my house to "catch up", I knew there wasn't really anywhere to do so.

My boyfriend, from the time that I met him, has never had a problem with the state of my house. He was aware of what I've been through, what I was going through, and he looked beyond that. We would often have little picnics in my living room and enjoy each other's company without any material items. After a while, not having any furniture really didn't affect me. I knew it was temporary and that troubles certainly don’t last always.

Well, three weeks ago, my beau, “S.A.” said that he wanted us to paint the living room. I primed and he did all of the painting while I was working my second job. (Sorry, he doesn’t have a twin!) There were a couple of setbacks (time constraints, unforeseen meetings, getting paint on the ceiling, etc.) but he continued with his vision, one that I wasn’t fully privy to. This past Friday, guess who walks into a beautifully furnished home? Moi? I know that may not mean a lot to many but it meant the world to me. It meant the absolute world to me. Not because of the furniture, but the time and care that someone took to make my life brighter, the time and care that someone took to illustrate that my needs matter, that I matter.

I walked into a furnished living room – sculptures, candles, and, all. To see a space that has been bare (T.V./cable only) for so long, now full with furniture (in the living room), all arranged perfectly,……..I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and joy.

On Sunday, interestingly enough, the Pastor talked about one of my favorite scriptures on love (1 Corinthians….and I just thought about everything that scripture states and I couldn’t help but think about the man sitting next to me (S.A.) who possesses all of these qualities. He focused on Love is Kind in this sermon and talked a lot about compassion. He said compassion comes with a cost. People can have 3 reactions when they see someone “in a ditch”. They can either be removed (too focused on their own problems), moved (feel sorry for the person but don’t do anything but say, wow…that’s unfortunate), or moved to action ..to be compassionate and do something for that person who is actually “in a ditch”. Compassion costs, he said, but it costs more not to be compassionate. Compassion may cost you some time, some money, etc. but not being compassionate costs more. He said the smallest thing, you could do for someone can make them want to hang in there longer (some people are ready to give up, give in, commit suicide, on the brink of depression, etc.), encourage them that things will get better, help to heal the emotionally and psychologically wounded,etc.….

Tears came to my face because I know that it cost S.A. a lot (paint, movers, tools, etc. but it meant more to him for me to have comfort than the cost.) The Pastor said most of us know the cost of everything but the value of nothing. I just wanted to cry. He talked about the man that was robbed and beaten and left in a ditch in the bible. The Priest saw him , looked and kept walking by…..the Levite saw him, looked, and walked by. The Samaritan is the one that stopped. He put wine (as an antiseptic on his wounds) and oil on his wounds to heal him and gave an innkeeper 2 days wages for the man's stay…I just thought about how many times, people walked by my ditch………….but sitting next to me, someone didn’t pass me by. I just cried.

I cried because that act of kindness actually gave me the encouragement to move forward in spite of other setbacks. It also gave me comfort that everything will be okay. I am also inspired to move forward with certain changes that aren’t going to be easy but I know everything is okay. Every time I walk in to my house, a sense of love, hope, joy overcomes me. I am assured that everything will be okay.

Today, I challenge you to meet someone at their place in need. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture but I assure you that you can do the smallest thing that will mean so much to someone. Please don’t walk by the person in their ditch. Someone stopped for me and I beseech you to stop for someone else.

Blessings!

My struggle............

2011-06-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

So, I have to be honest with you. For the past couple of months, I've seen a change in myself. It's a change that I don't quite like. For some reason, I've become extremely sensitive. At times, that can mean being easily offended and/or quick to anger even if I don't exhibit it in my actions. There have been times when someone says something or does something that I take to heart and interpret it the wrong way. I have to ask myself what is going on? I know it's a result of the culmination of negative events in the past that have caused me to always be "on guard", "on the defense", on the lookout for possible abuse, manipulation, condescending/judgmental conversations, etc. I know I don’t want to be this way. I also know it is counter-productive and counter-intuitive. Before I take things too seriously, I want to really examine the root of my feelings and the intent of the person. I came across a quote today that spoke volumes in my ears, “We tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. So we condemn others and excuse ourselves.” (A. R. Bernard) Isn't that powerful???????? I know I don’t excuse my behavior (I tend to be harder on myself) but I need to let things go. I want to be the best person that I can be and I want to set a better example to all around me. Lord, come into my heart. Help me to treat others as I would want to be treated, cherish the ones that celebrate me, pray for the ones who have hurt me, and continue to live life as it ought to be lived. I can conquer this!!!!!

What is your struggle? I will pray for you as well!

Let your smile change the world!

2011-06-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

In life, it is inevitable that we will face trials and tribulations. There will be times where you feel as if you are going to lose your mind, you may feel as if things won’t change, you may even be at your wit’s end. Don’t allow your circumstances to change you, the person you are, the person you were destined to be, as you go through these trials. I came across a quote today that said "Let your smile change the world, but don't let the world change your smile." As difficult as life can sometimes be, there are so many things to celebrate. When we focus on what isn’t going right, we lose sight of all that is going right. We have our ups and downs but truthfully, there is more good in our life than bad. As Oprah once said, “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” We all have suffered a loss, pain, betrayal, overwhelming suffering, etc. It’s easy to walk around with all this baggage but baggage weighs you down.

Today, as I try to lighten my load, I encourage you to do the same. I want to be that same wonderful person I was when I was “younger”, not hardened by life, not living life on the defense. I have a lot to be thankful for and I pray that you know you do, too.

Let your smile change the world!

Love – look at me now!

2011-05-09T12:57:00.001-07:00

They say that sometimes love knocks you down. It's true. Not all of your relationships will work out or end on amicable terms. When I was younger, I was knocked down a couple of times. It hurt! I truly believe that was because I didn't set boundaries, know my worth, and gave my all when it was not meant to be. When you give so much of yourself and it's not reciprocated, you are setting yourself up for pain if you remain in a relationship like that. I am proud today to say that I can look back and realize that I made a lot of mistakes in the past as it pertains to relationships. Why am I proud? Even though, those endings or failed relationships didn't work out, I learned so much. I can now see beyond the facade of what people present to me and I know what I'm worth. I am now with someone who would give me his last dime, go out of his way in every sense for me, has my best interest at heart, the list goes on. It’s such a wonderful feeling!

It is very apparent that he loves me. I don’t have to question it! I shake my head as I think back on those relationships where I did question things. If you have to question your relationship, chances are something isn’t right! You live and you learn, however.

I love that I can speak to him about ANYTHING and everything – truly a NO judgment zone. He would never manipulate or throw information back in my face. We have a BLAST together, a BLAST anywhere. We have laughed so hard at each other’s jokes that we have fallen and stopped breathing. I more than enjoy his company. This is not lust and it’s not a warped sense of anything. I see his flaws and he sees mine but we still see the beauty in each other. It’s great. He accepts all of me and I accept all of him. Together, we have a grand time!

The relationship is definitely satisfying and it is more than comforting to know someone has my back to the 100^th degree, wipes my tears, and will do anything for me- anything. With any relationship, I need more than love and with “S.A.”, it is definitely a love+. I know no other man who is as self-less, generous, always thinking of others, etc. He truly is the best man I know. He is…He’s passed up extremely lucrative jobs for the sake of family and he is always giving. My only concern is that sometimes he reminds me of the old me – constantly giving but I love that he isn’t jaded about life. He always has hope, is always encouraged, and encourages others. I think I have met my twin star. I think he is the male me – just a southern, male form of me. Most important, he treats me like a queen and he makes sure I know I am a queen!!!

Love – look at me now!

IT MATTERS

2011-04-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, I asked my sixteen year old sister what she would want to watch ( a show, a game, a movie, etc.). She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It doesn't matter." I said to her, "No, actually it does." My Mom looked over and said, "It really doesn't matter." I decided to table that conversation for when my sister and I were by ourselves. When "Kiki" and I were by ourselves, I asked her if she knew or recognized the importance of saying how she feels? She said yes, but it didn't really matter what we watched on T.V. I decided to share something with her.

You see, when I was younger and anyone would ask me what I wanted to do, what I wanted to eat, what I wanted to watch, etc.....my response was "It doesn't matter. Whatever YOU decide is fine." In my mind, it was insignificant so I always would just go with the flow. One day (at the age of 14), we were out and about and my grandmother asked what I would like to eat. I said, as usual, "It doesn't matter." My grandmother said, "Pooh, it does. You have to have some idea as to what you want to eat. You have to know that you would prefer something over the other. My attitude was it really doesn't matter, then.
The thing is "It doesn't matter" can become problematic. It doesn't matter can quickly turn into "I don't matter."

I always went with the flow or with what others wanted because I didn't want to be an imposition. Subconsciously, I didn't believe that what I said mattered, and I just wanted to stay in the background. Over the years of saying, "It doesn't matter", my voice became softer and softer. I lost my voice. I lost my say. I had been giving up the right for so long that matters that once were trivial, soon became larger matters.

I left my sister with this. IT DOES MATTER. IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU MATTER. I'm not saying that you can't ever compromise but don't be this silent participant in life. If someone asks you what you want, what you prefer, why wouldn't it matter? You matter. You have a voice. Your opinion counts. What you have to say is valuable. I care because YOU matter.

To all of my sister-friends out there, please realize that YOU MATTER. I want to hear you because you are important. All that you say and do is important. Realize how significant you are.
I hope my beautiful sister does.

It's only temporary

2011-04-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I hadn't heard from a friend of mine in two weeks. I was becoming a bit concerned as I know the last time we spoke, she was going through a very, very rough patch. I saw her on Saturday and apparently, things had taken a turn for the worse. She said to me, with her head bowed down, "I'm embarrassed to say this, but things got so bad, I had to apply for food stamps. I haven't eaten in three days." Her embarrassment was palpable. I could almost feel it as she stared at the floor.

I didn't have cash or food that she could eat but I gave her my banana and she was extremely thankful, so thankful that I kept saying, "I have to find a way to assist her." I asked her if she received the job postings that I sent her and she wanted to tell me more about her situation but we were interrupted by a co-worker who didn't pick up on the cue that we were having a serious, private conversation. "Maria" said she would call me later, but again, she thanked me for the banana.

I know Maria's pride was the reason she held off on applying for assistance for so long. No, no one WANTS to be in a position where they HAVE to do it. However, these programs are in place for the times when people may need it, not as a clutch, but something to keep you fed and with other programs, to assist you until your situation turns around. I know that Maria is extremely gifted, talented, and intelligent. Our economy isn't on its best footing and she, like many others, are bearing the brunt of it. I am convinced that things will turn around soon for her.

I know this is only temporary. She has been very depressed and that's why I haven't heard from her but I reminded her today via email that the world needs her. As tough as it gets, as rough as it gets, I beseech her not to give up. I told her for herself, for her daughter, for life, she had to continue fighting the good fight, knowing that these seasons aren't permanent. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of times just seeing or speaking with her has put a smile on my face. She just has such a bright spirit and I would hate for her circumstances to dampen it. I said a lot more but I just wanted her to know that she is loved....

She texted me thanking me profusely for the message I sent and she told me that I had no idea how much she needed to hear what I wrote.

God works in mysterious ways because an angel of mine gave me $20 to give her. I will be giving it to her tomorrow. It will be addressed to her and it will say From: One of God's angels. I know Maria will be surprised but we're all in this together. Don't just talk the good talk. See what you can do to assist someone when they are in need, no matter how small.

It's temporary but to the person going through it, anything you do, will make their burden a lot easier to carry...

Stay blessed and bless others when you can!

Don't allow pride to block your blessings

2011-04-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

My Mother lives in Queens, NY and I live here, in Albany, NY. The distance is sometimes heartbreaking because sometimes, you just need your Mother's pearls of wisdom, a mother's encouragement, a mother's prayer, a mother's embrace. In addition, most of my family is downstate and I am upstate, New York. I've been here since I left home to attend college in 1998...

For the past two years (or close to), I would always try to dissuade her from visiting because my ex-boyfriend took a lot of my belongings when he returned to the house to collect his things close to two years ago when my prayers had been answered and he was removed from the house. Unbeknownst to me, he was coming to clean house and took all of the furniture in addtion to other miscellaneous items that didn't belong to him. The house was left bare with the exception of my bedroom furniture, the T.V. in the living room, and a futon. Everytime, my Mom would say, "We're coming up there". I always say, "No, not yet...I still don't have any furniture."

This week, she wouldn't take no for an answer. I was sick and took my my first dosage of the Z-pack, when she confirmed that she was defnitely coming the following day. Neither sickness nor my silly references to the furniture would stop her. She and my sister were determined to come here.

They came and I had such a lovely weekend. I had the opportunity to rest, to pray with my mother, to talk to my sister, for us to have a little "slumber party". We went to church together, we ate together, we went shopping together. We just had a good time. It was nourishment for my soul, my mind, and my spirit. I got just what I needed without realizing I needed it.

My Mom could have visited so many times but because I was embarrassed that I hadn't replaced the furniture yet, I continued to tell her no. Guess what? We had so much fun, the furniture didn't make a difference. I can't wait for them to visit again. In addition, I know that we all had fun. She actually said she felt as if she was on vacation and she felt so comfortable in my house. How sweet! My sister also felt as if this was the first time, she and my Mother got to spend quality time together as my Mom has three sons as well.

When people want to meet you in your time of need, let them. You don't realize how much you need it but also how much they may need it.

Be blessed!!!! Don't block your own blessings!!!

Garbage trucks

2011-04-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, a co-worker of mine came into my work space looking for an argument. The issue at hand was the behavior of a work student of ours. Anyone who interacted with this student with regards to a request had an unfavorable experience with him. It was obvious that he felt the work that you asked him to do was beneath him. He felt as if he was smarter than everyone else so he wouldn't check his work (of course, resulting in errors). He would not show up to work (nor would he call), he simply wanted to surf the net and chat while he was in our Office, etc. His behavior was bizarre and unacceptable for any work study student. I mentioned it to his Supervisor, a close friend of mine and she said that he definitely would not be hired the following year, and that she, too, had noticed how arrogant and irresponsible he was. All was well or so I thought.

"Shaylah", another co-worker of mine felt the need to follow-up with me as to what was going on and what she should do. I gave her a brief summary of what was going on and told her not to worry about it as his Supervisor was going to speak with him and handle the situation. We spoke for a while but then the students entered and we thought it would be best not to have that conversation in front of them. In addition, I thought the conversation was pointless. It was already being addressed and if she wanted to find out exactly how, it would have been in everyone's interest for her to speak to the student's Supervisor. Our cubicles are in open space. It wasn't the time to have that conversation in that place.

Instead, she comes back into my workspace (as if the students aren't in the area) and says that she has identified the issue. The issue in her mind was that the students went on Spring Break.

I don't know why she felt the need to continue this conversation especially when I said it was being taken care of. The issue was not a Spring Break issue. I then bit her bait and explained to her that the project had not been worked on for 2.5-3 weeks. It had nothing to do with Spring Break. She then takes it upon herself to go back and forth with me and then tells me that I shouldn't expect the students to do my work. What work? Work study students and student assistants don't do MY work. They are here to assist us with certain things that are helpful to us but in no way are they shouldering the burden of anyone's job description.

She felt the need to go on and on about this moot topic in front of these students. Not only was it an issue that was already being handled, but it was a conversation that she and I did not need to have. I continued to say, "I will take this up with "Corinna", our Supervisor. Was I going to speak to Corrina? No! I just wanted this possessed person away from me.

She finally got the hint and went to her desk. Now, Shaylah considers herself a people pleaser. She often describes herself as “sweet as pie”. I believe that she is sweet but she is sweet for the sake of pleasing people, not necessarily intrinsically motivated to help others. She more so cares about what others think and wants everyone to be her friend. She is a nice person but for her own reasons.

The issue I have is that I am the only person that she takes her frustrations out on. Like a garbage truck, she picks up frustration on top of frustration and somehow, someway, dumps it all on me. This has happened before and this is why I try to maintain a strict working relationship with her. I feel as if I need to protect myself from her. The baffling thing is that she will extend apologies to everyone else when she has done something questionable except me. It always leaves me feeling hurt.

I have been very cordial to her but I avoid communication if it isn't necessary because I don't see why she feels the need to unload on me. This poses a conflict to me because I am a forgiving, “don’t sweat the small stuff” type of person but I feel as if she is a repeat offender and I don’t want to be her punching bag. (What am I to do??)

I spoke to the student's Supervisor about what happened and she said that she would deal with the student and to let it go with Shaylah. She felt as if Shaylah was having an off day. That day she went to the doctor and the doctor gave her a poor medical report. Yes, I empathize with Shaylah but guess what? We all have our bad days. We all get a bad report from the doctor from time to time. I don't walk around looking for an argument because of what takes place in my day. Do you???

Unfortunately, it's gotten to a point where I feel extremely uncomfortable around Shaylah. I don't know what to do. I can't address the situation as it happened close to a month ago yet we are still working in the same Office.

All, I can do is try my best not to dump my garbage on anyone else's lap. Life happens. It isn't fair to others around you to dump your garbage on them!

Accept it!

2011-04-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

Accept It!!

I tend to buy the C.D.'s of sermons that I miss if I am unable to make it to church on a given Sunday. I then ask my significant other to make a copy for a co-worker of mine. That way, we both have the sermon and can discuss it at length. In my mind, when I enter the courts of praise and the gates of thanksgiving, it is not for myself. Although people find this peculiar, I tend to share my sermon notes with my co-workers. It's called the good news, isn't it? Guess who isn't afraid to share it???? Me!!!! I know it seems a bit odd but if you saw the looks of encouragement and the expressions of gratitude, you too would realize the magnitude of sharing an encouraging word, speaking of God's works, HIS many blessings, the multitude of things we have to be thankful for, etc. Today, a co-worker of mine said to me, "You can't keep doing this. I have to pay for the C.D.'s." I politely declined. Why? Yes, it costs money to purchase the sermons but I know what it does for me and I see what it does for others. You can't put a price on that. It's simply priceless. I refuse to take her money and yes, she will continue to get the sermons (like anyone else who wants it). Her money isn't any good here.

Something about her wanting to re-pay me reminds me of the old me. The young lady who wouldn't allow anyone to buy anything for her, the one who wouldn't like to be celebrated, the one who wouldn't allow anyone to pay for something for her...but that young lady has learned that it is okay to accept gifts. I would always give and continue to give so why wasn't I able to accept from others?

If I reflect, I KNOW that it was subconsciously rooted in not feeling as if I deserve to be treated, complimented, showered with gifts, etc. I’m not sure where that came from but I’m glad that I am no longer that way. I am God’s masterpiece, the apple of his eye. Maybe I didn’t realize this or my worth when I was younger. As a matter of fact, I know I didn’t.

Women, Please know that it is indeed okay to receive. You shouldn’t always have your hands out. No, no, no! You ought to give as well. However, when someone would like to do something kind for you, if it is appropriate, let them. You give a lot and you have to learn to receive also. Sometimes, you’re even making someone feel great about doing something for you because they want to……… so why cheat them out of blessing you?

Learn to accept, just as you’ve learned to give.

I love blessing others and I have learned over the years, that it is okay for others to bless me as well.