Homebody Mom

Online Friendships: Friends Without Faces

2013-01-26T07:02:00.001-08:00

Do you find it difficult to open up to others? Were there times when you needed to tell someone your inner thoughts and feelings but didn't have the guts to do so? If so, then have comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

But then, what could be the reasons behind your reluctance to open up? It could be a fear of being ignored, being misjudged or perceived as weak, or simply not wanting to burden others with your problem. It could be something that stems from way back during childhood when your voice and feelings were not given importance by people around you. Thus you grew up not learning how to open up or trust others with your feelings.

However, with technology, others have found new ways to get things off their chest. Those who have a hard time sharing their thoughts and feelings with others personally may have no problem sharing them online. They open up to people whom they haven't met and do not know personally but have common problems with. They would rather pour out their heart and soul online anonymously. No wonder that a lot of social networking sites and online forums are thriving nowadays.

It's because many people find ease in knowing that their struggle is also someone else’s struggle. That they’re not alone and others have been down the same road. They feel like they found someone who truly understands them and thus online friendships may grow in time.

Friends Without Faces

by Thomas Teague

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens,

We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.

With our mouse, we roam, through the rooms in a maze,

Looking for something or someone as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes,

Small groups, we do form and gang up on our foes.

We wait for somebody, to type out our name,

We want recognition, but it is always the same.

We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes flirt,

In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.

We do form friendships, - but - why we don't know

But some of these friendships will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen, we can be bold,

Telling our secrets, that have never been told.

Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind,

With those we can't see, as though we were blind.

The answer is simple, it is clear as a bell.

We all have our problems and need someone to tell.

We can't tell "real" people, but tell someone we must,

So we turn to the 'puter and to those we can trust.

Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains,

They are Friends Without Faces and odd little names.

Life

2013-01-18T00:07:00.000-08:00

Life moves pretty fast.

If you don't stop and look around once in a while,

you could miss it.

- Ferris Bueller

Courage

2013-01-15T02:04:00.001-08:00

Life shrinks

or expands

in proportion to one's

courage.

-Anais Nim

Courage
is simply the willingness to be afraid
and act anyway.

-Dr. Robert Anthony

Army Navy: Finally Mexican Food is Here

2013-01-12T22:31:00.000-08:00

Since moving to the Philippines nearly six years ago, my family has been missing a lot of things from way back in the good old USA. One of them being able to have Mexican food (burritos, tacos, quesadillas, etc.) any time you crave for it.

In the city where we live now, finding a place that serves authentic Mexican food is a hard task. Although in the past, there were a few restaurants who would start their business with the claim of serving Mexican food. But each time, our excitement would turn into disappointment as soon as we found out that the food is more for a Filipino taste than a Mexican flavor.

However, recently a fast food chain called Army Navy came to town. Their menu combines great burgers, tacos, burritos and a few other Mexican food items.

My son and I decided to eat there the day after christmas. It is our yearly tradition to go out and shop after christmas as "mother and son bonding time". My son already ate there a week ago and suggested that I should try it.

We ordered burritos and tacos. Though I wasn't expecting much as I had a lot of disappointments in the past, I was surprised the food was excellent. Especially the burritos! There's a genuine Mexican flavor to them. It wasn't the best Mexican food I have ever eaten but it was good. I'll go back there again and next time I'll try their quesadillas.

This is good... but what I had in mind was a crunchy Fish Taco placed in a fresh corn tortilla covered with fresh lettuce, drizzled with lime juice and topped with green salsa. Then finished off the meal with an icy Horchata! Yummy... my favorite!

If you happen to visit Philippines and looking for a good place to eat, try Army Navy. Here in Davao city, you can find them in Abreeza Mall and also in SM Premier Lanang.

Favorite Christmas Quotes

2012-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time once again! As usual, there are a lot of dazzling and colorful Christmas adornments visibly shown everywhere. The beautiful sights coupled with the spirit of Christmas had inspired me to share the joyous seasons of the year here on my blog.

I want this page filled with colors and cheers. So I created these vibrant Christmas cards with some of my favorite Christmas quotes written on them, to greet everyone passing by a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year 2013!

I hope you like it.

Do you really need a friend?

2012-12-16T00:11:00.002-08:00

Do you need a friend? A confidante and somebody to hang out with? It turns out most of us do. According to a study, we have fewer real friends today compared to that of our parents when they were our age. Thus, there are times when we have no one to turn to in tough times or to unburden our inmost feelings with when we are downhearted.

What is the possible cause of this present circumstance? Most people would say that good friends are hard to come by and when they do “people simply lack of time to cultivate and maintain strong friendships." Though we may have hundreds of online friends, only a few are true friends whom we are willing to share our most personal thoughts and feelings.

In my case, I grew up moving around from place to place. Even after I got married my family moves back and forth from the US to the Philippines every few years. Thus, my life circumstances have caused relationships with friends to drift apart and meeting new people that have the same values as mine becomes a challenge.

So, nowadays I rely on my family as my friends. My husband, my son and my sister are my true friends and I am happy and content with that. Though, I am also open on having an outside friend, that is when the right one comes along.

So, to those who are like me who do not have loads of friends. Don't worry because studies have shown that as long as you have someone you can talk to openly and pour your hearts out with, it could be your husband, wife, sibling or a friend, you’re still making that healthy social and emotional connection. And the great thing about having family members as friends is that they are lifetime friends.

Also new research shows that having too many friends may not be healthy, particularly among older women. The reasoning behind that is, women are more likely to be the caretakers in relationships which can be stressful and demanding.

However, if you are in the process of acquiring new friends, read this article "Seven Friends That You Need In Your Life". It's all about friendship and the different roles that friends play in our lives.

Manny Pacquiao: A True Inspiration To All

2012-12-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

The saga continues as they say… Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez will be meeting again today for the fourth and possibly the last time.

My American husband is a fan of Manny Pacquiao and never misses one of his fights. As always he’s the only American spectator in a huge Filipino crowd and the only person who stands up and put his hand over the heart when the Spangled Banner is being played. One time, a local newspaper writer noticed, took his pictures. The next thing we knew my husband was on the front page of the local newspaper.

Today, my husband will definitely be in the midst of Filipino crowd cheering for Manny one more time. He asked me to go along but I declined as I am not a fan of boxing.

Anyways back to Manny, as today’s one of the world’s greatest boxers, a lot of people are very interested to know what his formula for success is.

Nowadays, many dreamers look up to Manny as their role model. He is not just an inspiration to the new and upcoming boxers but also to others who are engaged in different fields of endeavor. He showed everyone that success can be achieved by anyone in spite of adversities in life. Thus, if you posses the same traits and virtues as Manny, you will have a better chance to get to the place where you want to be.

According to Manny Pacquiao, “Anyone will succeed in whatever field of endeavor in life by acquiring the same virtues and character that boxing world champions do – dedication, perseverance, courage, extreme self-discipline and prayers”.

Good Luck and God Bless Manny Pacquiao and to all dreamers out there!

photo credit: www.abante.com.ph

Wedding Rings: A Heartbreaking Day

2012-12-05T05:51:00.002-08:00

A wedding ring is a gift and a promise of eternal love and fidelity.

So, as a wife how would you feel if suddenly your husband announces that he lost his wedding ring? My hubby just did that this morning. He said he wasn’t aware how it happened and when and where. He just noticed that it’s gone. We looked hard for it all over the house but to no avail. Our best guess is that it slipped off his finger unknowingly somewhere during one of his travels. The ring was a little loose as he lost some weight lately.

Losing a wedding ring is a sad and heartbreaking experience in life. However it is not unusual incidence, a lot of people lose their wedding rings after years, months, days or even after few hours of marriage. To ease the sadness and guilt, most couples will get a replacement and make the day special by going out to a romantic dinner, a nice trip, renewing their vows, etc. Then everyone will move on.

However for my husband and I, a replacement is not the same. The original wedding ring had tremendous sentimental value attached to it already. It’s part of our history. It can never be replaced. We’ve been married for 22 years now. All those years we’ve never taken them off except on a very few occasions like when polishing them once a year and other rare instances were you have to remove it temporarily for safety reasons.

Even if I still have my wedding ring and I’m still wearing it, I can’t help not to feel sad thinking of the lost ring on which my name and our wedding date was engraved onto it. Every time I look at my wedding ring it feels strange. I feel like something has changed forever. It’s hard to describe my feelings. Sometimes I think to just take it off and put it somewhere safe so I won’t keep thinking of the lost one.

Then I remember that three years from now will be our silver wedding anniversary. That would be a perfect occasion to give each other a silver anniversary ring.

By having something to look forward to, would help ease the sadness. As others would say, what you've lose is just a material thing.

So how would you feel if this happen to you? What would be your reaction? How would you ease the sadness?

Why You Must Follow Your Dreams

2012-11-30T05:39:00.000-08:00

When we were young, we had thoughts of who we were going to be when we grow up.

Like other young girls, becoming a ballet dancer was my very first childhood dream. There's something magical about ballerinas, that girls are trying to be like them. Perhaps, it's the dazzling costumes and the pointe shoes or maybe the grace, beauty and elegance that goes with it.

I had a lot of ambitious dreams when I was young such as joining a beauty competition, becoming an actress or perhaps a flight stewardess. Until one day my daydreaming galore went to a standstill when a critic (a.k.a. cousin) found out about my secret fantasies. She laughed out loud and said to me with such determination, “you couldn't be one of those, you lack the height ..." I didn't want to hear what else she had to say.

As a dreamer, criticism could not stop me to keep on dreaming. As I grew older I tried to be more realistic in choosing what I really wanted to be… I could either be a teacher, an accountant or maybe a nun.

A few years after finishing college, I had difficulty settling into a good career. I thought I might not have known my life's true purpose. So I sent a letter to a nunnery to ask questions of what I needed to do to become one of them. After a year or more since the inquiries, three nuns came to town to finally meet me. Unfortunately, they showed up a bit too late. They came on the day after I got married. It was clear then that living in a monastery and wearing a habit wasn’t my destiny after all. For I eventually became a nurse.

It took me many years to finally figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. Nowadays, I am pursuing another passion which is "writing". I love to write about life and hopefully my writings will inspire others. Someday, I would love to write my own memoir or an inspirational book! But first things first, I want to become a better writer.

We should not stop dreaming and must always pursue our true passions because our efforts may lead us in finding the true meaning of happiness and contentment in life.

Oftentimes life gets in a way and pushes us into another direction farther away from what we really want to be. We get sidetracked and give up following our true longings. Do you wonder why there’s too many people who are unhappy with their lives despite being successful in their careers? Success doesn't satisfy a burning emptiness inside them because they lost sight of their inner passions and something that truly matters in their life.

Do you know that "all dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them"? One of my favorite quotes from Walt Disney.

But don't forget to follow the dream that you truly desire. Hence, later on you can honestly say "I have no regrets in life".

Good luck and happy dreaming!

Believe in Yourself

2012-11-22T00:44:00.000-08:00

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." -Norman Vincent Peale

When my son Jason found out that these were all the books (shown in photo) they had to learn throughout the first semester this year, he was a little bit worried. It's been known to Physical Therapy students that the first semester in fourth year is the hardest.

On the other hand, he felt excited knowing he's getting closer on reaching his goal. When the first semester finally ended last October he proudly announced to us that he made it with flying colors. Sadly almost half of the class failed. He took this picture to record his milestone in college and put our dog besides his books as a prop.

His success didn't come easy. There were some failures and frustrations during his early years in college. What made him turn around was when he realized that he deeply desired to become a Physical Therapist. Failure is not an option especially during these economic hard times, a good education is really a must.

To achieve this goal he decided to change his mindset. He started believing in his capabilities that he can achieve anything if he puts his heart and mind into it. He devised a better study plan that he thought works best for him and he started working harder. Soon after, he started achieving successes, such as attaining higher grades, being noticed for good performances in class and getting praises and positive feedback from teachers and peers. Consequently, these improvements boosted his confidence further which inspired him to strive even harder.

We've heard a lot of success stories all our lives and sometimes we wonder what's the secret. Oftentimes we say these successful people are lucky because they have the means or the talent to succeed. But from reading their stories and my own observation and experiences in life I came to realize that anyone is capable of achieving success.

First of all, you need to discover what is your innermost desires or dreams. Then you must believe in yourself, because believing is one of the most important step to success. The next step is to take action or take charge in achieving your desires or dreams in life. If you'll fail on the first try, don't give up. Have faith in yourself that you can achieve, get up and keep going until you reach the finish line!

Good luck!

Related Topic:

Don't Quit- An Unforgettable Poem

Blogging Again

2012-11-19T01:45:00.000-08:00

Firstly, I would like to say thank you to all who dropped by and took the time and effort to leave a comment on my blog. Also, thanks for giving Facebook thumbs up on my posts. It’s been awhile since I wrote my last entry here.

A few months back, I acquired a photo editing software called Adobe Photoshop. Since then retouching and manipulating images has become my new leisure pursuit. Though it was not my intent to neglect my blog, I needed time and intense concentration to be able to learn the complicated software. After lots of long hours of hard work and dedication, I can finally say my efforts have paid off. I have gained a new skill. Henceforth, I promised myself to also set aside time just for blogging. So, I’m back in the blogosphere!

I did some tweaking and experimenting on my blog design to find that sweet spot and to give it a fresh new look. I also changed my header using the new skills I learned in Photoshop. The new header is simple but I think it looks better than what I had before.

I hope this blog makeover drives my passion for writing again. I feel like a newbie once more but I'm happy to be back!

Looking Back on Life

2012-02-28T21:23:00.001-08:00

I would certainly agree that time flies when you’re having fun.

It dawned on me that in two month’s time, five years have gone by since we moved back from the U.S. to the Philippines. I’ve realized that this could mean our long vacation is dwindling down and soon we’ll have to face life’s challenges once again.

I can still remember the day when I said my goodbyes to co-nurses at work five years ago. Their reactions to my departure were a mix of yay and nay; some were envious but happy for me while others thought I was crazy for giving up a prosperous career. Nonetheless deep inside I felt proud, I may not own houses, expensive cars and other material possessions as my overachiever co-workers do but I am not stuck in a lifestyle. I have options and freedom to live life as I pleased.

The memory seems like yesterday, when the family had finally embarked into a taxi that would take us to Las Vegas McCarran International Airport. That day was hard and tense. We thought we would not finish everything we wanted to do, but we made it, “barely”. Hubby was the last one out of the shower and was still putting his shoes on when the taxi driver knocked at the door. We had been rushing hard everyday for a month or two getting ready for the move, packing, getting rid of the things we can’t take with us, preparing our travel documents, acquiring my son’s school transcript, talking to the school principal and so on. The list of things to do seemed to never end. Then two days before the trip we had to drive from Las Vegas to L.A. just to obtain our dog’s travel papers at the Philippine Consulate. She’s part of the family, we can’t leave her behind.

Anyway, I can still remember that big sigh of relief, the feeling of joy and the high fives we gave each other as the taxi’s door had finally closed behind us and the wheels started to roll. The feeling was awesome. It was a hallmark that part of our life’s journey has come to an end and a new beginning is on its way. It was one of our happiest moments. We just had enough living life in the rat race. Though we’ve been grateful for all the blessings, it was time to say goodbye.

As of the moment we love our laid-back life here in the tropics. Far from the hustle and bustle and definitely poles apart from the previous one. How I wish we could just stay here forever. But then again we have to stick to the plan, to go back to America when my son finishes college. Two years from now he will be ready to face adult life. Hubby and I want to be on his side until he’ll become self-sufficient.

I wish in two years’ time the economy won’t be as bad as it is now. Still I thought that it is wise to lay out a plan and use time wisely from now on because time passes quickly as we know.

Hubby keeps telling me not to worry. “well cross that bridge when we get there” as he always says. But for me I want to be prepared for whatever lies ahead. Though nurses are still doing okay in the U.S. I want to furnish myself with more skills that are computer related. I also have to brush up on my nursing skills.

However focusing on these goals could mean spending less time on blogging. Though I love to write as much as I can, I need to prioritize things from now on. I will still post here every now and then but this blog may take the backburner for a while.

Learn to Love Yourself First

2012-02-11T17:44:00.000-08:00

Oftentimes we give too much of ourselves to others while putting our own needs at the bottom of the list. As a dedicated mom and wife, attending to the needs of our family including their whims and wants becomes a routine. We want to make our loved ones happy and comfortable, so we do nice things for them at will. Unconsciously we neglect our own desires and well-being.

There’s nothing wrong with pampering our family, though what’s not right is giving our all and not leaving anything for ourselves. We may enjoy giving love unselfishly but if we keep giving and not receiving back, this will eventually make us feel burnt-out, resentful and feeling unloved in the end.

I love to take care of my family the best I can and without any gripes. For so long it’s their needs first and mine last. I really have no problem with it. My son and hubby are very much able to take care of themselves and I still do all the things for them. I don’t hold a job at the moment; hence I have lots of time to give. However when I started to not feel my best a few days ago, I could not help but ponder that it would be nice to receive care from others once in a while. I thought it would be nice just to do nothing all day and just be lazy.

The knot on my shoulder has been bothering me for four days now. It’s causing me pain on my neck and my back and gives me a headache. At first I thought it will go away the next day. But it didn’t even after taking pain meds. Today I can’t seem to ignore it anymore because aside from the previous symptoms I’m beginning to have a fever, achy muscles and low energy. I don’t get sick too often but when I do I felt self-pity. Then I get emotional. It must be the inner child within me begging some attention and a little love.

I am not used to being sick. As a healthcare provider I am used to be the one providing care not the one receiving it. But my physical discomfort has been telling me to stop with the nonsense. So I decided to lie down and rest. My hubby gave me a massage and squeezed the knot on my shoulder a few times and told me to rest all day.

I’ve realized that we should learn to love ourselves also because if we don’t who else will? I also recognized that it is not selfish to take care of ourselves first once in a while and that we are worthy to receive pampering from others as well.

The world will never end if we don’t do house chores for a day or two. Dust under the bed would not suffocate us if we don’t sweep it everyday. Our family will not turn scraggy looking if we don’t prepare elaborate meal at every dinner time.

I am supposed to do my grocery shopping today, it has to wait for another day. For today it’s all about me… I’ll be resting all day and nurse myself back to health.

Happy Love Month everyone!

A Friend Forever

2012-01-26T04:17:00.000-08:00

I saw a poem this morning posted by one of my friends on her Facebook wall. It's all about a mother expressing her thoughts and feelings toward her child, as a mom I definitely feel the same way...

I’ll always need my son no matter what age I am...

My son has made me laugh,

made me cry, stressed me out,

wiped my tears,

hugged me tight, seen me fall,

cheered me on,

kept me strong

and drove me a little crazy at times!

But my son is a promise from God that I will have a Friend

forever!

He is a gift from heaven!

He gives me joy...

lots of hugs.

and lots of love.

gives me company in an ordinary day...

He makes me proud.

When I was sick, he cheered me up with the best ice cream in town...

and most of all he is my best friend!

I am blessed with one and only child. Although sometimes I wish I had more children... a brood of two or three would be great. But I know I have no right to grumble... God has given me the best, a son that any mother could ever wish to have for a child!

Taking Care of Blogger’s Block

2012-01-19T03:34:00.001-08:00

I desperately need to write a new post for my blog but my mind won’t cooperate. I am feeling exhausted and lacking inspiration.

Maybe I just haven’t gotten my groove back yet, a long busy holiday season and some trivial problems encountered along the way made my concentration go off to the wayside.

It drained my creative juices dry. Though I consider this as a minor setback and every blogger has to go through it once in a while. A writer’s block or blogger’s block as they call it, can be frustrating but nothing to worry for this too shall come to pass.

Meanwhile, I have to do something to get my focus back onto my blog. As bloggers we can’t afford to wait for inspiration to come to us, we have to look for it. I noticed when I am trying too hard to come up of something to write, ideas seem elusive. So maybe taking a break from my normal routine would clear the cobwebs out of my brain and help me free from blogger’s block.

What’s the use of wasting my precious time staring at the blank screen of my computer monitor when I can use it to enjoy the quietness of my atmosphere? Taking a nap sounds pretty good right now, or maybe listening to a relaxing music while perched on my comfy recliner. For a change, I will enjoy life for the moment being lazy and worry free.

Tonight I will let hubby cook dinner, while I will be sitting in the porch enjoying the evening breeze and let my mind wander. Who knows my Chihuahua may even join me. Sometimes we devote all of our time to our family’s needs that we neglect our own soul's desires. For this very reason I may be in the hiatus for a while or I may be back quickly. It depends on how long I will have to persuade my creative soul back.

I’ll be back for sure!

Would you Accept a Peace Offering?

2012-01-12T04:02:00.000-08:00

It was a Saturday night and the doorbell rang. I opened the gate and I was surprised to see a young man and woman smiling at me. The man was holding two containers of food. “Good evening” they said, “we have a birthday party next door we thought of bringing you some food to share.”

I was taken aback by their friendliness and didn’t know how to react to the situation. Besides, I don’t even know these people and they don’t know me either. Although I recognized their faces, for I saw them all the time when I peeked through my bedroom window late at night at the neighbor’s yard next to ours.

They had awakened me many times at night with their excessive talking and laughing that would get louder and louder as the night progressed, a clue that they had too much to drink. Most of the time they pollute our living room with their cigarette smoke. It made me upset because the smell does not only gives me a headache but it could possibly irritates my airways and aggravate my asthma. There were more or less ten people in the group, one of them is the neighbor’s daughter and the rest are her friends.

At first, I thought they were just celebrating for she just came back home after a year of stay in America. My clue was the streamer that says “ Welcome Home” well-displayed in their front yard. However she’s been here for almost two months now but the late night parties had not stopped, instead it turned into a regular event. They seem like night owls and the neighbor’s yard became their favorite place to hang out.

this place seems so quiet and peaceful... but wait until the sun goes down and the scene will drastically change

These men and women look well-educated and came from well-off families. They are around mid to late twenties. But I don’t understand why they’re acting like bunch of immature teenagers and seemingly lack of concern for other people’s feelings. I’d lost my patience a few times, I banged the window really loud when they were laughing repeatedly on top of their lungs at twelve o’clock midnight. They were startled and got quiet for a while but once they get intoxicated they seemed not to care anymore.

Anyway, that Saturday night two members of the clique were standing in front of me who appeared to be in different personas. They acted respectful, meek and friendly, persuading me to accept the food they brought as a kind of a peace offering…

All of a sudden I was facing a dilemma. I wasn’t prepared from this unexpected twist of event. But I needed to make a quick decision, to accept the peace offering or not. If I won’t accept, I may be perceived as rude and hard to please. However if I accept, it would mean truce and everything is forgiven. At that time, I wasn’t ready for a truce in fact I was preparing for war. I had been video recording some of their late night uproars as evidence to show when I’ll go file a complaint at the home owners association.

But then again the thoughts and humble gestures they showed me that night made me change my stance. They didn’t say sorry for disturbing me and my family for so many nights but their actions say it all. I could not help not to smile back and thanked them for the food. After I accepted it they were so appreciative and thanked me a few times, which still made me wonder what that “thank you meant”. Was it mean thanks for accepting the apology?

When my husband found out about it, he could not believed what I did. “Why did you accept it? You should have thrown it in their faces”, he said. Well, easy to say but hard to do.

That night the party went on up to 2 a.m. and as usual it was loud. But we had to be tolerant for it’s a birthday party nonetheless.

The great thing about it though that they seemed to disappear after that night. It’s been more than two weeks since then. I have not seen any of the neighbor’s daughter’s friends yet. I was even expecting for a big hurrah on Christmas and New Years Day but it didn’t happen. None of them showed up not even a soul. YAY… It seemed that peace offering means " thank you and goodbye!"

It’s so peaceful and quiet again. I’ve been enjoying it. Mostly I love the quality sleeps I’ve been having nightly now. Finally, I can start writing again. How long this serenity would last? I don’t know, only the future will tell, but as of now I am enjoying the moments!

A Butterfly Encounter

2012-01-07T23:22:00.000-08:00

Recently, I had an amazing experience with a butterfly that left me wondering what that encounter could have meant. I've lived most of my life in the tropics where the sight of a butterfly is a common occurrence but that day my experience with it was quite unique. I wish I had a camera nearby to capture the captivating moment.

One sunny afternoon as I was doing my laundry in our laundry area outside the house, I saw from out of nowhere a light brown/orange butterfly flying towards me. When it got nearer it flew around me a few times, so close that it almost touched my face. Though a bit surprised, I tried to remain still and watched what it will do next. Then the unexpected happened, the tiny beautiful creature landed on my left hand. At first I was not sure what it was doing. I looked at it closely and realized that it seemed drinking water from my wet hand. I could not believe what I saw, I never thought a butterfly could that be friendly and so trusting.

My fascination grew while witnessing the butterfly using it’s proboscis, a long straw-like structure it uses to suck the nectar of a flower, only this time it was sipping the moisture out of my wet hand, I felt a little tickle every time it touches my hand. After three to four sips it moved to my right palm and did the same thing but this time after each sip it turns until it completed a full circle turn then it flew around me again a few times before it fluttered away and disappeared.

Since then, I've been wondering what does that experience signifies. I had to check the web and found out that it’s not unusual for a butterfly to land on people. In fact I saw on YouTube a video of a butterfly drinking sugar water in a person's hand. What's unique with my experience though was I didn't woo it, for it came to me. The movement it did to create a circle seemed unusual. Also if the butterfly was thirsty there was plenty of water on the ground for it rained the night before. The area where I was is not a common place for butterflies to hang around for there are no plants nearby. That really made me wonder if the butterfly was sent to convey a message.

Nonetheless the lucky chosen ones have their own special stories to tell with varied interpretations of their experiences. Some believes it to be mystical such as a spirit of a loved one visiting or conveying a message, a sign of good luck or a bad omen and so on, while others say it is just a chance encounter with nature nothing more nothing less.

For me, I considered it a magical moment, my first close encounter with this amazing creature of God had occurred in a moment that I needed something to lift my spirit up. For days I was feeling so down and had never felt so alone in my life. The butterfly came in time to cheer me up and reminds me that there are beautiful days ahead. The butterfly visit gave me a feeling of calmness and joy. I feel blessed!

My New Year’s Resolution

2011-12-31T06:35:00.000-08:00

As most bloggers would say December is the slowest month of the year when it comes to updating blogs. If so then I am guilty, as you can see this is just my second post this month. There were just too many distractions that were hard to ignore. One that really knocked me hard this month was the “holiday blues” though I got over with it now. Thank God!

Now it’s time to pay attention to my blog. With a year coming to a close, it’s time to reassess our goals once again. Are we making a headway or are we still stuck in a maze and starting to get frustrated? Either way, it’s time to pause for awhile and re-evaluate our goal plan. So we can decide wisely on how to tackle the new challenges ahead of us.

Recently, I had a dilemma with my blog that I must decide whether to continue moving forward with the same strategy or to abandon the plan that does not work and start all anew. In other words, I had the thought of deleting my blog and starting all over again. I became impatient with my blog. I got tired of changing the design so many times and I can't still get the look that I wanted. I became discourage that after blogging for several months now, I am still talking to myself and my stat still remains the same.

I started this journey with no background on writing and no knowledge on how to start a blog, I am not a web savvy and so on. All I had was a strong determination to learn. I did learn a lot through research, reading and watching YouTube. Nobody taught me or help me set up my blog, I did it all by myself. Though I am still a newbie and still need to learn a lot more, I should be happy with my accomplishments.

Blogging is hard work, especially if you're aiming to become successful in the blogosphere. There are so many things to learn particularly when you are new. It can be overwhelming sometimes. Though I am aware that there are some easy ways if you are willing to spend money into it, such as paying for a blog design, buying quality contents, buying ads to promote your blog and get more traffic, etc. That is if you want an easy and quick route to blogging. But you will surely miss the fun and challenges that go with it and this will not guarantee you success either.

I am more interested in doing it on my own. The skills that I've gained along the way are more important. I've realized that writing can be learned, but I can't grow as a blogger by writing alone. The cause of my frustration is that I lack some other skills to be able to move forward as a blogger.

A blog expert, Steve Pavlina said that in order to be successful as a blogger, one should need to be a web savvy. You don’t necessarily have to be a computer programmer but must understand the basics of the technical aspects of blogging. The list below are variety of web technologies that we need to be familiar with.

I have the desire on learning them one by one though I keep putting the tasks aside, so in 2012, as my new year’s resolution I will make this my priority.

blog publishing software
HTML/CSS
blog comments and comment spam
RSS/syndication
feed aggregators
Pings
trackbacks
full vs. partial feeds
blog carnivals (for kick-starting your blog’s traffic)
search engines
search engine optimization (SEO)
page rank
social bookmarking
tagging
contextual advertising
affiliate programs
traffic statistics

optional:

email
podcasting
instant messaging
PHP or other web scripting languages

Childhood Memory

2011-12-04T05:01:00.000-08:00

I had a frustrating morning today, the culprit- my memory failing me. I forgot to buy bread yesterday when I was at the grocery store.

So early this morning, I had to go to several specialty bakeshops in the vicinity just to find whole wheat bread. My son is trying to lose weight, and only eats two slices of whole wheat toast with peanut butter and a glass of milk for his breakfast meal. But why do I need to tell you about this incident? The reason - it triggers a trip down memory lane.

Nonetheless, the early morning bread dilemma reminds me of my childhood and prompts me to share it here. This childhood event happened when I was around nine years old. Though I hate recalling painful experiences, there are moral lessons to be learned.

Pandesal

The story centers on a bread called pandesal or salt bread. This bread is made of flour, yeast, eggs, sugar, and salt. In the Philippines,Pandesal is traditionally served for breakfast as is or accompanied by such items as butter, cheese, scrambled eggs, jams, jellies, peanut butter, etc. with coffee, tea or hot chocolate.

For most families, the breakfast table is not complete without pandesal. Most bakeries bake them at dawn and their patrons expect hot and tasty pandesal in every morning.

My stepmother and my then three year old half-sister liked them as their morning treats as well. My stepmom put aside fifty centavos every day for pandesal, so she and her daughter could have this fresh-baked bread for breakfast. Nobody else could eat the pandesal but the two of them. For fifty centavos you’d get six pieces.

My younger sister, who was then seven years old, was the errand girl. However, every time she came back from the bakery, she had to deal with a punishment. The reason being, she was tempted to eat a piece of bread. Our stepmother strictly ordered not to eat nor take a bite of it. But how could you blame a young child of not resisting such a treat, when her growling stomach has been tormenting her for some food and nourishment.

As always, my stepmom would drag my sister inside a room and I would hear her little cries of pain and the seemingly endless cursing from our stepmom. I felt bad for my little sister; for she would not be allowed to have breakfast and had to do extra chores that day. Sometimes, I wished I could give her some advice but then again I was also just a kid like her. In that house, as kids we don’t talk, we don’t say anything. We were like walking little zombies.

But where was my dad during this time, who was supposed to be there to protect his little children? Well, he left and went to another town to seek an overseas job. He promised that when he came back he would have lots of money and life would be happy again.

One day, our stepmother decided to delegate the duty to me instead. She finally had enough of my sister not following her orders. I was a little worried. Then I realized I enjoyed the morning walk, as I would see people along the way. It was great to feel some fresh air after being in a dungeon-like situation for so long. A few minutes of freedom were great too. I enjoyed the different scenes of life outside; I could hear real happy laughter and not just laughs of our stepmother which I thought were comparable to the laugh of a bad guy in a movie who was getting ready to formulate an evil plan. I could day dream along the way and be away from the harsh reality for few minutes.

However, once I had the bag of mouthwatering bread in my hand, the real torture begins. But I was so determined not to follow my sister’s fate.

At an early age, I learned the meaning of self-discipline and willpower. It seemed a voice on my right would say “eat just one piece of bread, it’s really tasty and good and would ease your hunger”, while on the other side a voice would opposed, “don’t do it it’s not worth the punishment and shame you would get later on.”

my sister, a friend and me (finally smiling again)
Taken a few weeks after we left our stepmom's place.

Usually, I would count the bread hoping the seller had made an error and put one extra piece of bread in the paper bag. Sometimes I would silently pray, “Please, God just one piece”, while watching the seller puts the bread in the bag.

Each morning was a struggle. Thus, I quickly learned some tricks along the way on how to ignore the temptation. I would sing happy songs or I busied my thoughts into a daydream while walking back home. At times I imagined that one day when I grow up and have money of my own, I will buy plenty of pandesal and just eat them till my heart’s content.

Every time I reached the entrance of our place, I felt proud; giving me a pat on the back. Feeling relieved that the most dreaded task of the day was done. Thus, as a child it wasn’t easy being helpless and to worry endlessly with the thought that one day I will weaken and get lured into the bait, and not able to resist the temptation to take a hearty bite into the forbidden bread.

But God knows the perfect timing. He knows when you are barely hanging at the end of the rope and ready to fall. He would be there in time to rescue you!

7 Simple Ways to Control Food Cravings

2011-11-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

Once and for all, you promise to yourself of losing the extra 10 lbs. of weight before Christmas. You consider this goal achievable within your time frame, but of course with the help of a good diet plan and daily exercise routine. To be in perfect shape especially when the holiday season is coming, is what most women wish for. Who doesn’t want to look their best on Christmas parties, reunion and other holiday activities? But how many times have you promised that to yourself but only to fail? The culprit is food cravings.

It’s been known that when one is trying to lose weight, a sudden desire to indulge in sweets, salty and greasy foods also becomes intense. Not being able to control to these cravings could lead to feeling of guilt and disappointment that may result in giving up on the goal of losing weight.

Listed below are some tips and tricks on how to control food cravings:

Trick your sweet tooth with a spice. Add cinnamon, vanilla or nutmeg to yogurt or steamed low-fat milk. According to study these spices can satisfy the sweet tooth, a sweet flavor minus the calories.
Try a peppermint. A really strong craving for sweets can often be subdued by eating a peppermint followed by a few bites of fruit such as an apple or pear or a few sips of fruit juice.
Pick a peck of pickles. If you’re about to start your binge-eating episode, open the fridge and grab some pickles. Crunching on a sour pickle helps eliminate the craving for sweets and salty treats. They’re tangy, salty, crisp, satisfying and almost calorie free.
According to study, when a person is low in the mineral chromium, combined with an unhealthy eating habit such as starving your self during the day and overeating at night can generate food cravings. Taking a daily supplement of complete multi-vitamins-mineral that includes chromium, will help get your nutrients intake back in equilibrium and make food cravings to disappear. Broccoli, lean meat, whole grain foods, cheese, brewer’s yeast, cereals, black pepper, thyme, mushrooms are good sources of chromium.
As soon as you feel the urge of reaching for a bag of chips, create an absorbing activity, such as reading a favorite novel, chat with friends, play online games, listen to your favorite music, take a walk and so on, to entertain your mind. Once you are immersed in a stimulating or playful activity for 10 to 15 minutes your craving is likely to go away. Most often people crave sugary treats when they are bored.
Give in- occasionally. If craving for a certain food is very hard to control, give in once in a while. Depriving yourself from your cravings for a long time may cause a feeling of anxiety. Thus to prevent from having this negative emotion that may cause you more to crave, doctors suggest to give in once in a while. If you want to have ice cream plan in advance, taking in consideration how much and how often you will have it. Eat only reasonable, calorie-controlled portions in the middle of a satisfying meal. Don’t store an easy to grab half-gallon in the freezer instead buy just the exact amount of what you want to eat at the same day you plan to have them. This will prevent you from the temptation to overeat.
Don’t starve yourself. This strategy of losing weight will not work, though it gives you quick, temporary results but it will backfire on you. Starving can cause blood sugar to drop which makes you to crave more carbs and to binge later on.

photo credit: morgueFile

Remedies for Dark Circles under the Eyes

2011-11-15T14:24:00.000-08:00

I’ve noticed recently that the dark circles under my eyes are getting noticeable. I had to do something. Nobody wants to have dark circles under the eyes. It does not only makes you tired and unhealthy looking but what’s worst, it makes you look older. Luckily, these days with an easy access to the internet, there’s always ready answers to our concerns.

So, what causes dark circles? Medically speaking, dark circles are harmless and not necessarily caused by lack of sleep or illness. Dermatologists and ophthalmologists agreed that the contributing factors are fatigue, allergies, overexposure to sun, menstruation or pregnancy, poor nutrition, daily stress, smoking, alcohol and most often genetics caused by hyperpigmentation. If your parents have them, there's a fair chance that you do too.

Sometimes the engorged blood vessels under your eyes can be mistakenly thought of as dark circles. Because the skin under your eyes is thinner, mostly to a fair-skinned person blood vessels there are more visible and can be perceived as darkened skin.

Below are some remedies that could help lighten or conceal under-eye circles:

Cover them up with a concealer that is especially formulated for under-eye darkness. When you’re wearing a concealer under your foundation, choose a cream concealer that’s a little lighter shade than your skin but when wearing the concealer alone pick a shade same as your skin. Gently dab the concealer with a makeup brush or your pinky finger into the dark areas and very lightly pat the edges to blend it in. Finally, powder lightly to help the concealer stay put.

Try a cold compress. You can use a cold washcloth, chilled spoons or used teabags as your cold compress. Lie down for 10-15 minutes, close your eyes and apply a cold compress to your eyes. During weekends when you’re at home all day you can repeat the procedure several times throughout the day. Cold compress will help constrict your blood vessels and may help lessen tissue swelling thus results in eliminating some of the darkness.

Always use sunscreen especially made for the face with a sun protection (SPF) of at least 15- 20 every day, since sun’s rays is one of the culprits of darkening the skin under your eyes. Wear a hat and sunglasses when going out in the sun.

Brighten up your eyes by using white eyeliner on you lower eyelids. Lighter color makes your eyes look brighter thus diverts attention away from dark circles.

Use an eye cream that contains Alpha Hydroxy Acids (AHA’s). It will not only reduce wrinkles but also lighten up the skin. The most common type is glycolic acids (extracts derived from fruit and other plants). Also an eye cream that contains ingredients such as retinol and vitamins K, C, and E are very effective in treating dark circles under the eyes.

However if you are still unhappy about the skin darkness under your eyes, see a dermatologist for a consultation to know if prescription creams, laser therapy, dermal fillers, etc. are suitable for you. These treatments are a bit expensive and some are mildly invasive but may give you a greater satisfaction and long term results. Good luck!

photo credit:

Free Stock Photos.biz

My Ramblings

2011-11-10T04:09:00.000-08:00

To be or not to be? For few days now this question has been playing in my head repeatedly. My thoughts are a mess, my spirit is low. I don’t know what triggers this sudden emotion, perhaps just plain boredom or something deeper as in midlife crisis. Out of the blue, I’m longing for change. As the lyrics of a song goes, “I guess I wanted something new in my life, a new key to fit a new door, to wake and see a different view in my life the one I've been waiting for.”

This is exactly the same feeling I had several years ago. I still remember the day I stunned my hubby, when I told him I wanted to go back to college. Actually, the original plan was to go to law school but I ended up taking nursing instead.

Though I love the simplicity of life here in the tropics and I’m happy being away from the rat race - the feeling of being stagnant is what drives me crazy. After soul searching I came up with a plan. I should go back to the US and work for few years. Oftentimes when life is mundane and without goals, our self-esteem suffers.Our soul craves for something new, something worthwhile!

As expected, negative thoughts always interfere when you are making positive plans. The questions of “what if” are overflowing which makes me feel eager and scared at the same time. Besides I haven’t experienced being alone in a huge foreign land. Though I had been away from hubby many times with no problem, being far from my son would be a different story. Then again I should get used to the idea, whether I like it or not, in a few more years I’ll be facing the dreaded empty nest anyway.

Then I saw an article in yahoo news, “Who’s getting hired right now?” number one on the list is Registered Nurse. I thought maybe this is a sign from up there that I should go for my goal? I did some research about this article in nurse’s forum and many nurses didn’t agree saying the details are incorrect and misleading. Although I believe there are jobs out there, just need to look harder and be persistent.

My next worry is I can’t drive, how will I survive commuting during summer and winter months? Living in a place that has good public transportation system is the only way. I know New York and San Francisco are the best places to live if you don’t drive, but I want more choices. Guess what? The next day I went to yahoo to read the news. There it was- at the front page the answer to my question, an article by Charles B. Stockdale, "The Best Cities to Live in Car Free".

"Several factors make a city easy to live in without a car. The most important one is a widely available and efficient public transportation system. Another is having daily amenities, such as groceries, shopping, schools and entertainment, nearby and within easy reach on foot or by bicycling. The best cities have both features and 24/7 Wall St. has identified the ten best ones to live without a car…"

Is this another go signal? Sometimes we feel alone and disheartened that no one cares. Thus we oftentimes forget that there’s someone who is always listening to our worries and fears. Thank you Lord!

So, to be or not to be? What is the answer to William Shakespeare's famous first line in Hamlet? I don't know, I'll leave it all to God, I know I'll get more signs from Him when the right time comes. For now, I will just keep preparing for a possible new journey.

Tips on How to Lose Weight

2011-11-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I started to notice that gaining weight seemed easier and losing it was always a great struggle. Even though I had been careful on what I ate and was exercising regularly, my weight kept on climbing. I noted that my diet and exercise routine were not as effective as it used to. I panicked. I thought I had to do something before it’s too late.

Then I learned that as we age, our metabolism slows down due to hormonal imbalances or hidden medical conditions and perhaps from yo-yo and crash dieting. There are also other factors to consider like genetics, muscle loss associated with aging and a sedentary lifestyle. I realized that I had to change my diet plan and decrease my caloric intake to be able to lose weight. Nowadays I eat more fruits and vegetables, cut back on carbs and greasy foods. I also move around more often and add 15 to 30 minutes more to my daily walk. I’m in control of my weight again.

It’s time for us to take care of our body and time to take care of our health. According to a medical study, even 20 percent of excess weight puts our health in higher risk for high blood pressure, high cholesterol level, diabetes and other diseases.

I listed below some tips and tricks that help me shed few pounds here and there. Every little bit helps.

Exercise is crucial in losing excess weight and in keeping it off. We gain weight when we ingest more calories than we burn and the only way to burn up calories and fat is exercise. A good exercise is when it increases your respiration and heart rate such as running, walking, bicycling, etc. for 30 minutes to 1 hour a day. Choose an exercise that you enjoy the most, like walking, dancing, swimming, etc. You are less likely to give up exercising when you are having fun. Be creative, for example if you are not an early riser take a walk in the evening instead. If working out seems overwhelming at the beginning, exercise 15 to 30 minutes in the morning and 15 to 30 minutes of exercise in the afternoon, do whichever works for you.
Eat slowly, learn to savor and enjoy each bite of your food. Put your fork or spoon down between every bite. Sip water frequently. By eating slowly, it will give your body time to signal your brain that you are full, and to stop eating. It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full.
Drink a glass or two glasses of water 10 minutes before meals. The water fills up your stomach and reduces the feeling of hunger, therefore makes you eat less. Water will hydrate the body, making the metabolism speed up, which will aid the body in burning calories and fat. Make water your prime drink. Stay away from sodas and other sweetened drinks. Eliminating the non-nutritive, sugar-filled, possibly harmful beverages from your diet is a great first step in the right direction of losing weight and improving your health.
Limit your intake of white rice, and white flour, or better yet switch to whole grain breads and brown rice instead.
Put tempting treats in hard to reach spots (like the highest cupboard), or better yet don’t bring junk food into your home, so there will be no temptation to eat unhealthy foods.
Take a nap or a shower when feeling a strong desire for food. Make an activity to divert yourself from reaching for food in the fridge. Make sure you have 8 hours of sleep each night. Lack of sleep would dampen your mood and could lead to overeating.
Try to eat 5-6 smaller meals per day, such as breakfast, a lunch, an afternoon snack, a dinner, and an evening snack. Eating smaller meals keeps your metabolic rate high throughout the day because your body is constantly using up energy to digest the food you are eating. Eating smaller meals will also leave you feeling lighter and more energized throughout the day.
Eating several small meals per day may not work for everyone. For me I eat a good breakfast but in a smaller portion, lunch is my biggest meal of the day and dinner is the lightest. Exercise burn up calories, which means that your body will burn up food better while your active, so eat your main meal at middle of the day and eat something light (like salad with fat-free dressing or a small bowl of vegetable soup) for dinner.
Avoid skipping meals or starving yourself because this will put your body into survival mode. Your metabolism will slow down to conserve energy. When your metabolism slows down your body burns a lot less calories.
Don’t deny yourself from the fun of eating out once in a while, but remember to pare your portions. Save half or one-third of the food for take out and make it your lunch the next day.
If you lose control and overeat one day don’t get discouraged, just compensate for it by exercising more the next day to burn the extra calories you consumed.
Don’t deprive yourself of some enjoyable treats once in a while, like a cone of ice cream or a small slice of a chocolate cake, but add an extra 30 minutes to your daily walking routine to pay off for the extra calories and eat less on your next meal.
If you can’t avoid a meal that is high in fat especially during an event or a celebration, prevent the harmful effects of a fatty feast by following it up with a bowl of oatmeal. The whole grains help transport cholesterol out of the body. Researchers say the soluble fiber and anti-oxidants in the oats are responsible for their usefulness as a fat taxi.
Brush your teeth right away after every meal. The minty freshness and clean feeling of your mouth will serve as cue to your brain that mealtime is over.
Have an inspiration, take use of the upcoming Christmas party or a high school reunion to motivate yourself to lose weight. Think about buying an expensive blouse or dress one size smaller than your actual size. Hang it beside your mirror or a place where you can see it every day to serve as an inspiration to lose weight so you can wear it when the event comes. Imagine how trim your body looks and how well the clothing fits you.
The bottom line is do not wait till the excess weight files up on you. As soon as you notice that you are gaining a few pounds, do something to get rid of it right away, if you don't your putting your health at risk. Remember to eat less and exercise more!

photo credit: Free Stock Photos

What is Halloween?

2011-10-28T04:56:00.000-07:00

Halloween is a yearly tradition observed on October 31st. I didn’t really know what Halloween was until I lived in the US and experienced it first-hand.

When this festivity is just around the corner, the first thing you’ve noticed is that stores and malls have huge display of Halloween costumes for both children and adults and even for your beloved pets.

Traditionally, Halloween costumes are patterned after scary figures such as monsters, ghosts, skeletons, witches, and devils. Over time, the costume selection extended to include popular cartoon characters, celebrities, superheroes, princes, princesses and anything that goes beyond your imagination and creativity.

The feeling of an eerie atmosphere can be felt in the air as people would embellished their yards, porches and front doors with Halloween decors and props to achieve the scariest look and feel. Americans decorate their houses with scarecrows, witches, spider webs, skeletons, skulls, etc., with illuminated strings of lights in orange and purple at night.

You will see pumpkin patches all over town, a place that sell pumpkins of different shapes and sizes. It is an important element of the tradition; people will carve them to make jack-o’-lanterns. Placing lighted pumpkins known as jack-o'-lanterns in the window is a way of welcoming children dressed up in Halloween costumes for trick or treating.

Every household has to make sure that they have plenty of chocolates and candies to give for the trick or treaters who would come knocking at the door on the evening of Halloween. It would not be fun to have some naughty kids to play tricks on you, so be prepared for the giveaway treats.

For our family tradition on Halloween dinner, we always have pumpkin pies topped with vanilla ice cream for dessert. At first I was trying to bake the pie myself but it came out soggy, so the following year we just bought a fresh baked pumpkin pie at the bakery instead. It’s the best-selling pastry during Halloween so bakeries always bake plenty. Then some leftover pie would be perfect for your morning coffee the next day. Just the thought of it, makes me miss pumpkin pie, I can’t buy it here where I am now.

Usually when there are less trick or treaters than what you’ve expected it means more chocolates leftovers, mostly my son and I would have weeks supply of this treat.

Common activities you can do during Halloween:

Trick-or-treating

Attending costume parties,

Carving jack-o'-lanterns

Bonfires

Apple bobbing

Visiting haunted attractions

Playing pranks

Telling scary stories

Watching horror films

photos credit: MorgueFile

The Writer

2011-10-24T01:31:00.001-07:00

Recently, I came across a blog that I became fascinated with. The blogger’s name was Sue and her blog was called “The Writer”.

For me, she has the right to that "title", for her blog speaks for itself. I became a fan. I read her posts one by one, enjoying each and every words. I like her poetic style of writing and I admire how well she writes, simple yet so passionate. I know the work of a gifted writer because when I read it, it affects me. I can feel the emotions and sincerity that oftentimes I get carried away. When I write I sometimes imitate their style unconsciously. However my own ineptness often shows. It reminds me to slow down a bit; I am not ready to write at that level yet.

My nineteen year old son, who is my reluctant editor scolds me at times, “Mom, don’t use these words” he said. “But why not, I like to use beautiful words?” I asked. “You are not a poet, leave them to the real poets” was his reply. Ouch, even my own flesh and blood…

Anyway, back to Sue. I can’t get enough of her writings so I kept going back to her blog. I had it bookmarked. One day, as I was reading a few of her posts, I realized she was talking about a life that is soon to be over. In other words, I wonder if she was dying (I have a hard time writing the D word), and her blog was her way of expressing her feelings, a way to relax and to forget what’s imminent? One of her post called “The Droplet” the excerpt goes…

“It was there, clinging on to the edge of the leaf and was about to fall, fall into the little puddle of water below. Yes, the droplet was ready to give up and surrender its existence to the little puddle below. But something made it cling on, just that little bit longer.”

I am not sure if she is the original author of this or if she posted it because she only wanted to express her feelings at the moment. I saw two bloggers who posted this on their blogs as well and seemed to claim that they wrote it. They titled it “The Droplet and the Ripple”.

Here’s another excerpt from one of her post…

“I write because it allows me to cheat death at least for one more day, to proclaim in my own little, tiny, fleeting voice that everyone can be a beacon, can be a light in the planes of bleakness, and can Shepard their brothers through the valley of darkness.”

After reading this post, I was stunned. I felt a little eeriness and maybe my gut feeling is true that I am reading a dead woman’s blog. Though you can’t find a hint of anger or self-pity in her words, she seemed bidding for an extension of time, a few more days of life. I noticed her last post was May 2009.

On her picture she looks like in mid-twenties. One of her posts was written expressing love for her man. I feel sad for both of them. I feel sad for her blog “The Writer” for I would not see new posts that I admire and enjoy reading ever again.

I hope my intuition is wrong. I hope she’s just busy starting a great career and raising a young family and too busy to spend time blogging. I hope she’s well and fine!