My Thoughts......

Abhi na jao chhod kar..

2011-12-04T13:25:00.001+05:30

Dev Anand a through entertainer who cared to entertain and entertain his viewers and fans. True, an era of Dev Anand’s way of entertainment has come to end by his demise.

You will always be remembered. Cant really sign off without this humming this favorite song of mine with you in it...

RIP Dev Saab..

Waiting............

2010-06-10T04:59:00.003+05:30

“Everything comes too late for those who only wait.” the quote goes,

Heard it during my school times and had decided it then that I would never wait for anything… but never realized it then that it was a way of life… it makes us more optimistic, hopeful and couldn’t be avoided any time.

It would be surreal to find a person who would have not waited out for something in his life. As students we waited for our results, the vacations and then our schooling to get over. Later on as life took its course priorities changed a phone call, a job call, something or someone special and things like that made us wait.

Wait has become so much part of us almost like a living, agonizing and a very tangible thing. Everything else ceases to have any importance and all one can think of is the thing they are waiting for. It’s pretty normal to focus on what you don’t have and not pay attention to what you have and desire for it.

Sometimes to me life feels as a continuous wait from morning to evening and then from night to morning and still can’t make out what I am waiting for (still to figure that out). There are other times when we feel the probability of our wait is coming to an end and these are the times when one looks forward to each day and wish that the day was over.

Its said the best way to overcome this is to keep yourself busy and indulge in something interesting, but I feel its rather impossible – to think about something else, especially if the thing you are waiting for means a lot to you. So, if putting an end to the wait is not in your hands just enjoy the wait or at least try to so. That’s what I am trying to do anyways, even though this wait is killing me...

You

2010-02-03T00:34:00.001+05:30

I had a dream of love

Of living a lovely life

You were there life was bliss.

I was uncertain

You held out your hand.

I had doubts, you understood

I was swept so suddenly,

For more than just a face.

We turned aside the hourglass,

And took our own slow pace.

We walked through life together,

A smile from heart to heart.

We found something so beautiful,

That never had a start.

Back again

2010-01-23T23:21:00.010+05:30

Its already a new year (and almost end of the first month :) ). My year did start with a bang with a short vacation to my native place….hope it continues the same way. 2009 was all work and study and no time to blog, but now I am back. One of my resolutions for this New Year is to be able to blog on regularly. Also many of my friends and colleagues wanted me to continue writing, therefore logged in the blogger account today.

This time around it feels really different to blog. I feel older. But I can say my life is in the same place it was 1 years ago except made few good friends...lost many, made many mistakes...learned few things from them. The hard times and the lightest moments which were kept in the drafts were revisited… I did double check the drafts which I had to post since long…(long means since Dec ’08 ). Phew…had to delete many of them as now I feel they are outdated and have found answers to many of the questions I had, also this time I did changed the template of the blog.

Life in the past 1 year have surely being a roller coaster ride…with lots of upheaval moments, many opportunities… but still very positive for me…have learned a lot…personally feel have done things which I never thought I was capable of. On the negative side...I learned I was less communicative, less social also have become more cautious and reserved sort of person with a constant fear that life is not going anywhere and now have decided to do something very drastic about that. I would never say I was a very happy go lucky person anytime…I am and always was a serious sort of person amongst my siblings… Maybe losing someone very dear and being the eldest made me more responsible and serious in life. I just didn’t realize when I walked past the line of self-control and inched towards wanting to fanatically control over every aspect of my life.

Like everyone else I am trying to juggle every ball life is throwing at me and hoping to achieve that perfect balance knowing that this is the game we're meant to play every day. Now I have realized certain aspects of life...for me it is a struggle and a test of my physical and mental endurance to get that perfect harmony that have always eluded me and to stand up every time with a smile and be cheerful or whatever else it is that the situation demands of me. I am just getting ready to change the mechanism of my life wanting to revisit my old self again, want to be aggressive, risk taker and person with opinion again as always was and that would take time but longing to get back to that self of mine.

Thinking of how to get back…..safe way or full throttle guns…what say…

Silent Talking

2008-09-11T03:19:00.005+05:30

The quiet is so enveloping that it has drown me within it.
The question buzzing in my head since many weeks is - have i really becoming calmer
(cool-as they say) or am i losing my interest in doing the things i liked or cared for?
Many of my collegues too have the same question for me.... (Sorry guys maybe I am in my hibernation state now...... see blogging after long again)

Here again i have come accross the hard to comprehend human nature as i call it..
where the people had issues when i spoke and now they want me to shoot when i want
to be quiet...this makes me feel befuddled and bemused ...still no qualms against anyone.
I really have not being a very talkative person anytime...but wrongdoings or injustice to
anyone have always pissed me off and that's the time i have oppossed it.
But for now I want to be happy smiling and let it all go in peace.

Phew..that was boring...was'nt it?

P.S.-Just to share with you a very good thing.......finally i got an award for my
blog but still unable to find who nominated the blog ... Neways thank you
everyone for reading the blogs, giving your valuable inputs on the same and nominating it.
bye.. and see you soon.

Mirage...

2008-06-01T00:23:00.003+05:30

A famous Persian saying translates that if you have being to a desert and never fallen prey to a mirage, then its nothing to be proud of, rather except the fact that you never were thirsty for water”…how true.

Life is not about what we get from it rather it is about what we become from what it gives us. There are situations in our life that can make us responsible, conscientious and so on…I mean it can bring out all the good or destructive things in you. In such a situation what matters most is our own thought about the matter. Never to get driven away by what others think. Try to be yourself and have firm hold on you beliefs. Many a times we are faced with the reality that our current situation is not always favorable to having victory. But that doesn’t mean that we are at a loss.

From this it feels Life is like a state of mind…it mostly shows or reflect the same way you perceive it to be. If you are hungry for more, (and you should be...after all it is just one short life that we are living) life would have plenty to offer you.. But if you are the satisfied person with what life has offered you then you would never see a mirage….

A mirage of life aims to encapsulate life.
It is like seeing things from a different vision, understand the purpose of life through a different spectrum of ideologies.

Trust

2008-04-18T22:53:00.003+05:30

These days I find it hard to trust anyone... even my friends whom I have known for so long....for its getting tougher to find a person with a true self, without a mask on and behaving like someone else who they are not in the real life... also what I hate is advice from such mindless (maybe intelligent) people...I fear if they have their own opinions anytime or are they are more smarter and exactly know where and how to click. I also wonder if they enjoy doing such things...or do they just lack self-belief and confidence or are they very high on it? I do understand that I shouldn’t be saying this as it is anyone’s personal choice of leading a life… but this is where I find human behaviour hard to comprehend and understand.

I feel it liberating, when one can trust someone completely. But it could only be possible when one can honestly speak things on one's mind without processing about being politically correct all the time.

It makes remember the lines…..

A simple promise
Of being true,
Fills me up with
Freedom through and through.

2008-03-10T01:13:00.002+05:30

I've had yet another long silence between blog entries. Since I last wrote here, a lot has happened……

I have vanished into an inner landscape, taken paths barely visible through the bramble. It's a strange place, and i'm often afraid of my own shadow. But I am curious, and I trust my feet.

Though you can't see me, I haven't gone away. I think I will always come back, here. It's like no other place. A meeting of wonderful minds.

I just felt I needed to become visible, here, for a moment. To let my friends (those i've met and those I haven't) know how much they are treasured.

Blogging after long.......

2008-02-04T15:53:00.003+05:30

Its been months since I wrote anything on here – its just that I have been very busy to indulge in something like this. It was me learning to live life to the fullest, excepting all that came to through my way as a gift and recognising the fact that whatever I did, once again, fell just short of expectations but atleast I tried doing it.
I think that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

Today I was browsing through some of the blogs on blog-spot and it was truly a experience. There are a lot of people out there venting out their feelings and spilling out their guts and the results of some of the efforts are astounding. A lot of talent is going waste in this modern world for sure. A lot of Blogs are trying to do what we all should be doing in real life. Finding out what's wrong in our society and giving solutions and finding means to solve the problems. There will always be strong and there will always be weak, there will always be a majority and a minority, there will always be the wrong and there will always be the right. What's important is for the strong to recognise their strength and help the weak instead of feeding on the weak and getting stronger.

This small difference is the fine line that divides failures and success.

My Love

2007-11-21T02:03:00.001+05:30

Some beautiful lines......i have read

Sometimes I think I still can’t live without you.
A dull ache inside me
Realizes my yearning to be a part of your life.
The years have come and gone.
I never heard your name.
I don’t even know anyone who knows you.
Most of the time I believe I have changed
I have outgrown the ME who loved YOU.
Then,A song, a scene, a scent
Catches my heart off guard,
And reminds me of you.Sometimes,
Even after all these years,
I think I still can’t live without you.

Reflection

2007-09-10T22:31:00.002+05:30

Just came up with an insight, It's about the distinction between worry and reflection. So many thought authors or great personalities counsel us to avoid living in the past. “Live in the now,” they advise. “Enjoy the moment.” Well, I get what they are saying. But isn't there something good about going back and delighting in the delicious moments of the journey we've arrived from?

Which brings me to worry versus reflection. Whether to revisit the past - in my mind - depends on your intention. If your intention and reason to go back into your past is to dwell on bad things and to worry over things you cannot change and to rehash painful times, then I suggest it's an unhealthy act. But, if your intention - in going back in time - is to reflect on the lessons events have taught you and to grow in wisdom and to savor the precious memories that you were blessed enough to experience well then I think it's good.

Of course, I still remember the old adage - Even if you win the rat race, you are still a RAT –so that means even if you lose you will still be a RAT. Therefore our past can be useful to us to move forward in life by learning good things from it and analyzing the wrong that happened and be more careful never to repeat the same, after all that’s what LIFE is all about …….learning from experiences.

JUSTIFICATIONS

2007-08-26T16:28:00.004+05:30

Today i found that i try to justify everyone that i am right. why i do so…. i see the reason is my inferiority complex. Not having enough faith in myself.
I should always watch this.
i should accept other's view as their own view and until they are something of importance why waste time in useless justification of me.

Silence is the key.
it seems there is no answers of the questions which arise in mind. There are questions behind questions……….. doubts behind the doubts.
But i don't want to be silent……… may be i am waiting …… till i exhaust & give up………And rest in silence.

MARK THE START

2007-08-25T20:45:00.001+05:30

You captured me with a second’s glance

Awakening my curiousity with your high profile stance

Silently hiding all that you felt

Still making sure it would make my heart melt

In directions afar from what you perform

The smile of yours can make anyone transform

Secretly masking your compassion the most

But your eyes makes me feel lost

To build a new compassion's fire.

To make love your heart's desire.

It is you I treasure in my heart.

What draws you here marks the start.

Still learning ......

2007-08-13T00:28:00.001+05:30

To be gentle…and also to not sound like I think I know everything.

I tend to be rather blunt as I am prone to cutting to the chase. Not everybody cares for my approach and sometimes even I don't! I know where it comes from - from my own hard-headedness! I seem to have carried that approach into my own work. Sort of like, totally forgetting that even when most people say they want the truth…they don't necessarily want it straight up. They want it made a little more palatable. I am making efforts to soften my edges, and it is still something of which I often need to remind myself.

And the knowing everything thing…I absolutely, positively, one hundred percent believe that each and every person has their own framework of belief. I also respect my own framework of belief - that when I speak of what I understand to be Universal Truths, it tends to sound like I want everyone else to think the same thing.

I don't! I just want them to know who I am. And it seems like many people think that I think I know everything which is funny since what I know is that I don't know anything!

Renunciation

2007-08-10T11:29:00.002+05:30

Renunciation is a big word, for me it simply means really looking at life, and inward at myself and realizing I already have everything I need to be truly happy. Living a simple life and using ones own natural abilities and talents to improve the quality of life (instead of thinking you can buy improvements) reminds me of a story about the Buddha:

One day the Buddha was sitting in the woods with several monks. They had an excellent lunch and were enjoying the company of each other. A farmer was passing by and was very unhappy. He asked the Buddha and the monks whether they had seen his cows passing by. The Buddha said they had not seen any cows passing by. The farmer then informed everyone of how unhappy he was. I have twelve cows and I always must chase after them and tend to them. I have also a few acres of a sesame seed plantation and the keeping the insects from eating everything takes up my time when I am not tending my cows. The work is almost too much to bear.
The Buddha said, My friend, we have not seen any cows passing by here. You might like to look for them in the other direction. So the farmer thanked him and hurried off. The Buddha turned to the monks and said, My dear friends, you are some of happiest people I know. You have no cows to lose and enjoy the natures land without the need to possess it. If you were to own these things, you would be very busy with little time left for living.
The lesson is simple, but who is willing to let go and live a simpler life? Part of being happy is realizing that we have to learn the art of cow releasing. We release the cows one by one. In the beginning we think that those cows were essential to our happiness, and we tried to get more and more cows. Quickly we start you realize (hopefully) that cows are not really conditions for our happiness; they constitute an obstacle for our happiness.
That is why I am determined to release my cows. How about you?

Who are you???????

2007-08-07T22:56:00.003+05:30

I read the following lines somewhere and loved it.....

You are Goodness itself.
You are Love itself.
You are Happiness itself.

But we tend to forget this. That's our real problem.

We are been made, conditioned and brainwashed by everyone, into believing that you are not good enough, and this process goes further:

You've also been led to believe that therefore you need to become good, and that you need something outside of yourself to become good. And it is this belief that you are not good enough that leads you to a self-fulfilling prophecy where you behave in ways that prove to yourself that indeed you are not good enough - and so you fall back to your belief system and try even harder at it.
And maybe, you do become a little bit better after taking that seroiusly – it has beneficial effect but simply because of your belief that you will become better. This, however is not long-lasting, because, deep inside, you believe yourself to be not good enough - and the society simply supports this belief and deepens it - it's a vicious circle, decreasing your already-low self-esteem even more, with only a few highs in between - again only because of your belief.

Getting out of it is just simply knowing Who You Are-
just know that you are good enough - not only are you good, you are Goodness itself.

LESSONS

2007-08-06T18:58:00.001+05:30

Our experience is all based upon the ideas in our mind that we’re always trying to live up to.
I'm not sure if these are the most important things I've learned but they are the answers that come to mind right now.
My experience is my responsibility. A lot of “negative” stuff may be thrown at me at any given moment, but ultimately, there is no one else to blame for my reactions and for my inner state. For real growth to happen, I must face everything and continually strive to bring the unconscious to the conscious.
Paradoxically, I have also learned that our experience as human beings is largely shaped by circumstances beyond our control, and that in this way, we are all in this same boat called life together. Keeping this in mind helps me to cultivate compassion, empathy, and love for everyone and everything, even myself.
Most of all, I've learned to have fun and not to take it all too seriously. Laughter and foolishness are good for the soul!

LIFE

2007-08-06T18:50:00.003+05:30

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant! Thank you for being a part of My Life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.Much Love to the New and the Old.