Popped Culture

Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

2009-07-13T00:01:00.000-04:00

Don't know why, but the interwebs have throwing up a lot of zombie worries recently. Now I don't want to worry anyone, but it never hurts to be prepared.

The Zombie Preparedness Initiative is a knowledge base provided by a community of citizens concerned about the impending zombie invasion and the imminent disaster that is sure to follow.

Before All Else Fails, Run! Strategies from a Flight-First Perspective
What is the primary skill needed to survive a zombie invasion? An individual may practice superior marksmanship, wear the most fantastic home-built armor, and possess the best maps and equipment. However, if one can't run at least six miles without stopping, one is in a brief, flesh-rending world of hurt.

Martial Arts, The Undead and You: Hand-to-Necrotized Flesh
This is a very bad idea. Zombies transmit their virus by biting or scratching. The last thing you want to do is get close. On the other hand sometimes life puts you in weird situations.

Surviving the Apocalypse as a Family
I know there are a lot of guides to help you save your own skin. That is fine and dandy, but there are also a lot of us out here that need to protect a whole family.

WGMX 4 - Zombocalypse from Rob Moffett (VDA) on Vimeo.

Links via Presurfer and JazJaz)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Pop Culture Target Practice
When Zombie Attack, Wise Man Get Shotgun
Celebrities Of The Living Dead

Yoda Loves the YMCA

2009-07-11T00:01:00.000-04:00

Neill Cameron is wrapping up his A-Z of Awesomeness. If you haven't checked out his full alphabet, you are doing yourself a disservice. The mustachioed R2-D2 makes my day.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Elements of Awesome
Oompa LoomPacino
The World Through Michael Bay's Eyes

Sweet, Sweet Candy!

2009-07-10T14:30:00.001-04:00

U.S. President Barack Obama, attending the G8 summit in Italy yesterday, was caught checking out the posterior of a young delegate. Or so it appears.

Upon further investigation by the fine folks at Fark, it turns out to be a Homer-esque sized misunderstanding. Seems the president has spotted the rare gummi Venus de Milo, carved by gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of gummi. He was just thinking about that sweet, sweet candy... (Link via The Daily What)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Anatomy Of A Gummi Bear
The Evolution of Satire
Popaganda: The Pop Culture Revolution

Gingerbread Man Dissected

2009-07-10T00:01:00.001-04:00

Pop artist Jason Freeny, already having ruined Gummi Bears, makes Gingerbread Men seem like the least appealing thing you'd ever want to eat. They'd be all crunchy, with a chewy, spurting centre.

Hmm, maybe they wouldn't be so bad after all. Head to Moist Production to see the full poster. (Link via Super Punch)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Snow White & The Depressing Reality
Grandma, What Informative Graphics You Have!
Not By The Hair Of My Stop Motion Chin

United Breaks Guitars

2009-07-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

Dave Carroll of the Halifax band Sons of Maxwell had his guitar broken by United Airlines baggage handlers in Chicago. They gave him the runaround and ignored him for nine months, so he wrote a hutin' song and put it up on YouTube, where it is now on its way to going viral. Beware of pissed of customers.

United, United, you broke my Taylor guitar
United, United, some big help you are
You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should have flown with someone else or gone by car
‘Cause United breaks guitars'

Link via all over, but initially Steve Pratt

Previously on Popped Culture...
Swamp Stomp Country
All Your Memes Are Belong To Us
The Customer Is Always Wrong

Lessons From The Hundred Acre Wood

2009-07-08T16:19:00.002-04:00

In Which We Are Introduced to a Rabid Winnie-the-Pooh: While he may be a Bear of Very Little Brain, he is still a bear and bears are soulless, godless, rampaging killing machines. Just ask Stephen Colbert.

From Threadless designer Roni Lagin.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Anatomy Of A Gummi Bear
Popaganda: The Pop Culture Revolution
Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

Harry Potter And The Alternate Ending

2009-07-07T14:30:00.002-04:00

cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 301px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3504/3697900027_92a552d0fa.jpg" alt="" border="0" />The end of the Harry Potter saga, if it were written by:

Joss Whedon:
As the conflict with Voldemort comes to a head, Ron Weasley is suddenly and shockingly killed. Hermione responds with steely determination, joined by Luna Lovegood, who turns out to be a rare witch who has super-powerful martial arts skills. While Harry tries ineffectively to help—often with comic results—Luna kills the Death Eaters with Unblockable Scorpion Kicks and Hermione defeats Voldemort in a head-on battle of magic.

George Lucas:
The battle between Harry and Voldemort comes to a close with an exciting magical glowing sword fight in the never-before-seen high-tech part of Hogwarts during which Voldemort reveals that he's Harry's real father. Then the Death Star blows up.

George Orwell:
As the students looked in at the Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix, they could no longer tell one from the other.

Scooby Doo writers:
As Lord Voldemort draws his last breath, he utters, "And I would have succeeded taking over the world if it weren't for YOU meddling kids."

And on and on like that, in many faux-authors voices, at Windypundit. (Link via Phangirl)

Photo: A still from the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, found at Film School Rejects.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Bunnies
Yo Momma So Fat The Sorting Hat Put Her In All Four Houses
Harry Potter and the Mid-Life Crisis

Shoot Him Now! Shoot Him Now!

2009-07-06T00:01:00.001-04:00

Bugs: It's true, Doc; I'm a rabbit alright. Would you like to shoot me now or wait 'til you get home?
Daffy: Shoot him now! Shoot him now!
Bugs: You keep outta this! He doesn't have to shoot you now!
Daffy: He does so have to shoot me now! [to Elmer] I demand that you shoot me now!

Pop artist James Cauty's work Splatter repurposes classic Warner Bros. and Hanna-Barbera cartoons and gives them a Sin City-style blood spatter makeover, "presenting the viewer with unrelenting acts of bloody, cartoon violence, which, in cartoon law, ultimately cannot cause fatal injury."

The idea came from the Cauty's 15-year-old son who suggested his dad show the violence that cartoons leave out. "People have been saying since the ‘60s that cartoons should show the consequences of violence, or kids will get the wrong idea," Cauty told the Telegraph.

"Its very difficult to shock kids these days - you have cartoon characters being shot in the head and walking off cliffs, so we have decided to replace them with something more realistic."

Take that Itchy & Scratchy. (Link via Media-Digest)

Previously on Popped Culture...
If He Catches You, You're Through
Th-th-th-That's Sacrilegious Folks!
If Cartoons Were Real

The Dark American Psycho Knight

2009-07-05T00:01:00.000-04:00

Harvey Dent: "Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?"
Alfred: "Oh, you have no idea..."

This Dark Knight/American Psycho mashup was the kind of thing that was running through my heard when I first heard Christian Bale was going to be the new Batman. I remember American Psycho and he was, well, a complete psycho. Then I forgot all about it until I came across Geekandnerd's brilliant piece of editing, which lends credence to the Joker's assertion "you're just a freak, like me!" (Link via Urlesque)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Ka-pow! Dark Knight Dances The Batusi
Batman Gets Pwned
It's Not Easy Being An American Psycho

Ode To Saturday Mornings

2009-07-04T00:01:00.001-04:00

That's one hell of a Saturday morning. Jessica Gädke's tribute to a selection of her childhood heroes easily dates her as mostly a 1990s cartoon watcher, especially as she decided to leave out classic Warner Bros. and Disney characters. Hopefully she'll do one of those as well. Though most of these cartoons happened well after my traditional 'toon-watching time, I'm familiar with most of them due to younger sisters and an exceedingly lazy trip though university. A few earlier characters have slipped through, notably the Barbapapas, Charlie Brown and Snoopy, and Tom and Jerry. My nostalgic fave from the bunch is Pinky and the Brain.

Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"
The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky — try to take over the world."

Interesting, if pointless, fact. Maurice LaMarche, who provided the voice for Pinky is also Kif Kroker on Futurama. How 'bout that! (Link via The Daily What)

Previously on Popped Culture...
If Cartoons Were Real
Cartoons I'd Like to F***
If It Weren't For You Meddling Kids!

Single Female Lawyer Arriving Soon At Omicron Persei 8

2009-07-03T00:01:00.000-04:00

cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 998px;" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2439/3682641847_30f6ea0888_o.png" alt="" border="0" />Leela: They're going to destroy the entire Earth if they don't see some stupid TV show about some bimbo lawyer?
Fry: It's crazy! How could they even know about a show from a thousand years ago?
Farnsworth: Well, Omicron Persei 8 is about a thousand light years away. So the electro-magnetic waves would just recently have gotten there. You see--
Fry: Magic. Got it.

From Abstruse Goose, via everyone

Previously on Popped Culture...
Worry About The Replicants, Not The Apes
Extinct, Endangered, Resurrected
Who/What To Worship?

Sesame Street Fighter

2009-07-02T00:01:00.000-04:00

Big Bird knocks the crumbs out of Cookie Monster in this mashup of Sesame Street and Street Fighter, from pop artist Jared Moraitis. So, you figure the bird is on 'roids? (Link via Super Punch)

Previously on Popped Culture...
The Kids Aren't Alright
I Love Counting to the Number Four
Heeere's Cookie Monster!

Happy Canada Day, Eh?

2009-07-01T03:00:00.000-04:00

Wee, time to celebrate the birth of our great nation with a holiday in the middle of the week. WTF?! Stupid calendar. Anyway, to you non-Canadians, this is downtown Toronto. Yep, it's all wilderness up here.

Ok, maybe four hours north of the city it looks like this. I want to go there, but it will have to wait a couple of weeks. Have a great day, everyone.

Previously on Popped Culture...
A Popped Culture Canada Day
This Book Decapitated Michael Ondaatje
Canadian History: The Video Game

I'm On Twitter! I'm On Facebook! La-La La La La La

2009-06-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
This parody of West Side Story is the kind of thing that some producer of Broadway will laugh off and then calls the writers a few days later and options it. It would hardly be the worst thing ever made into a musical.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Lego Silence Of The Lambs
Here Be Anthropomorphic Dragons
Teh Lolcats Theme Song

Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace

2009-06-30T00:01:00.000-04:00

If there's something strange in Springfield town
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

Or at least the Ghostbusters as envisioned by Dean Fraser of Springfield Punx. Fraser has also rendered the rest of the cast, including the poltergeist Slimer and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Be sure to check out his Simpsonization of the cast of Lost and Watchmen.

Previously on Popped Culture...
If The Van's A-Rockin'...
Ghostbusters Catch Gozer... Um, Jesus
Simpsons: Up And Atom!

Legos Crawl In Search Of Blood

2009-06-29T14:07:00.003-04:00

"I have something I want to tell you. I'm not like other guys." Truer words have never been spoke.

You know it's thriller, Lego thriller night. Tired of the Michael Jackson tributes and retrospectives? Too bad, I was away for the weekend and need to get it out of my system, mostly by posting this recreation of Thriller, entirely in Lego. I did an extensive five-minute search and couldn't find a less-blurry version, or the original creator for that matter. Stupid internet.

Of course Jacko's lasting legacy, at least for me, is introducing me to the world of pop culture parody, vias Weird Al Yankovic's Eat It.

Just eat it, eat it , eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter , it's broiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, ooh

That's gold, people. Thanks Michael. Thanks Al.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Michael Jackson: Engulfed In Fame
Michael Jackson's Last Supper
Celebrities Of The Living Dead

A-Z of Awesomeness

2009-06-28T00:02:00.001-04:00

Comic artist Neill Cameron is on a drawing quest, spending a month "drawing STUFF that is AWESOME." With H is for... Hagar the Horrible Hacking Hello Kitty in Half and K is for... KISS King Kong, clearly awesome is most apt description ever.

Even better, he want your suggestions for his A-Z of Awesomeness: "So for each letter of the alphabet I am going to let people suggest a character, and I will then draw that character, on a daily basis. Got it? You are also allowed to suggest what that character should be doing, with bonus points awarded for imaginative alliteration."

Previously on Popped Culture...
Stormtrooper Army
Seeing Double

Spoiler Alert

2009-06-27T00:01:00.000-04:00

Watch Spoiler Alert on CollegeHumor
Tell your friends the ending at your own risk. While this might be a touch extreme, I certainly understand the desire to avoid spoilers.

Previously on Popped Culture...
I Spoil Your Movie
Stop Talking! I Taped It!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Bunnies

2009-06-26T15:00:00.000-04:00

Wow, that took way less time to watch than to read the first five books. And they need two movies to show Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? Maybe the 30-Second Bunnies should direct.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Yo Momma So Fat The Sorting Hat Put Her In All Four Houses
Harry Potter and the Mid-Life Crisis
Imaginationland: Realer Than Any Of Us

Michael Jackson: Engulfed In Fame

2009-06-26T00:01:00.001-04:00

By now you will have heard of the unexpected death of Michael Jackson and public opinion has quickly divided into two camps: musical genius vs. insane, creepy pedophile.

I think both are true and one shouldn't outweigh the other. Jackson's musical contributions can't be dismissed or forgotten but nor should they, ahem, whitewash the actions of his latter life.

Nine years ago I read an essay on Jackson that helped me understand the crucible of fame he lived in and while it doesn't justify his actions it certainly made me more sympathetic. It has stuck with me ever since and says things far better than I could ever hope to.

The following is excerpted from Cintra Wilson's book, A Massive Swelling: Celebrity Re-examined as a Grotesque, Crippling Disease:

"Once upon a time there was a little boy named Michael Jackson, who was a child of incredible, otherworldly talent. Hammered into superstar condition by a merciless warlock of a father who purportedly belt-whipped his musical ambitions into the hides of his countless offspring. Michael was only six years old when his family's singing group, the Jackson Five, was signed to the Motown label. He developed an ecstatic, feral-bird quality in his prepubescent voice that transcended anything human; he possessed the kind of arm-hair-raising sublimity found only in little Anglican choir boys and castrati......Michael became very famous by the time he was only 12, and got truckloads of mail from wildly obsessed fan-boys and fan-girls all over the world who wanted to touch him, kidnap him, steal handfuls of his hair, and tear off his clothing and rub their bodies against them...

...Shortly after [Off the Wall and Thriller] broke all previous records, mega-mega-megafame trained the deadly blue heat of it's X-ray eye on young Jackson and stared him crispy...

...The fame smothered [Elvis and Michael] overstimulating them into frightful husks of self abuse: they both had to vandalize themselves since the world could do naught but love them...

...Jackson epitomizes the fullest scope of uber-fame in the United States. He's lived through the whole gauntlet: the best parts of it in his earlier years, the worst, humiliating and scandalous parts in the more recent. Anything Michael does now just reads like Outsider Art — he has become as strange and isolated and deranged as anyone who ever walked or crawled through shock treatment. He's the strangest uninstitutionalized crazy person in the public eye since Howard Hughes...

...I predict that his spin surgeons will insist he be stricken by a freak-accident-related coma, in order to cause a burst of previously latent, Princess Diana-esque support for the ailing star. Thousands of fans all over the world will then feel guilty for turning their backs on him and send him Mylar balloons and teddy bears, carnations and crayon drawings."

I couldn't find the essay anywhere online, but I encourage you to search it out and read it in full.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Michael Jackson's Last Supper
Celebrities Of The Living Dead
Off the Wall

The World Through Michael Bay's Eyes

2009-06-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

In Michael Bay's world, everything would be sexier and louder, with an exponential increase in explosions. What gets me about all the terrible reviews for Transformers is that anyone ever expected it to be good in the first place.

Images from Cracked's If Everyday Life Was Directed by Michael Bay

Previously on Popped Culture...
David Croenenburg's Cabbage Patch Kids
Worry About The Replicants, Not The Apes
If You See It Coming, You're Already Dead

I'd Like Some Writing Royalties, Like You

2009-06-25T00:12:00.000-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Taking down Ringo Starr isn't really much of a challenge — or timely for that matter — but the folks at College Humor sure make a fine Beatles menagerie.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Mashups Are Playing At My House
A Day in the Life of Abbey Road
Brush With Ungratefulness

Dig If U Will The Picture...

2009-06-24T14:37:00.004-04:00

This is what it looks like when toddler Prince cries. Or is that just how big he is? Hmm...

Anyway, pop artist Dave MacDowell nods to both Purple Rain and Mark Ryden's Little Boy Blue.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Breakfast Hawks
Oompa LoomPacino
The Seven Jack Nicholsons

Play Perez Hilton Off, Keyboard Cat!

2009-06-24T12:00:00.000-04:00

Violence is never the answer, but sometimes everybody deserves Keyboard Cat.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Keyboard Cat: You Make My Dreams Come True
Teh Lolcats Theme Song
All Your Memes Are Belong To Us

Britney Spears: Patient Zero

2009-06-23T00:01:00.000-04:00

Britney Spears in the centre of the next pandemic. Surprise! I would have thought it would have been Paris Hilton.

It's actually a Chinese ad for Panadol, a cold and flu medication. So the Chinese are either celebrity obsessed or think Hollywood celebs spread disease. Probably the later. Well at least she didn't take out Johnny... oh, wait, no! Not Johnny Depp! (Link via The Daily What)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Babe 3: Swine Flu
Daddy, Can I Have Herpes?
If U Seek Mr. Bean