tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38654232862870777272026-10-14T07:11:19.099-04:00Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.comBlogger289125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-79007214472153471462017-03-17T16:40:00.000-04:002017-03-17T16:40:14.714-04:00

Note to my readers: For the past few months, I have been trying, and failing, to write in my blog. Somehow I have gotten the misguided belief that each and every blog entry must be long and full of thought and intention and the result has been blog silence. Because I am apparently not capable of thought and intention these days. What I have been doing instead is writing long Facebook posts that

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-34289909405376339282016-06-12T18:58:00.000-04:002016-06-12T19:01:27.151-04:00

Tomorrow morning I am going into the hospital overnight so that I can have the last three treatments of internal radiation, or brachytherapy.  It will be a repeat of the stay that I had last week, with a few tweaks and changes to help improve my experience and pain levels.  Dr. Bradford, oncologist extraordinaire, wants me to have an epidural this time, for better pain relief. I really

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-56942564302423902202016-05-23T16:09:00.000-04:002016-05-23T17:23:42.643-04:00

I've been working on another "random thoughts" blog post, tentatively entitled "Daily Diarrhea, My New Normal," or possibly "How Cancer turned Me into a Potty Mouth." Fortunately for us all, I received a call from my oncologist, the lovely Dr. Bradford. She informed me that Mutant has shrunk considerably, even more than she had anticipated. Yay! I felt positively giddy as I thanked her profusely,

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-85913842851526798892016-05-11T21:17:00.000-04:002016-05-23T13:47:36.723-04:00

Last Thursday was my final external radiation treatment. Brian and I celebrated by going out to supper on Saturday night. It had been a while since we had gone on a date together, just to relax and be together.  I even put make up on.  We ate and drank and talked about things other than our kids and my cancer.  We even flirted, which, to be honest, isn't that much of a surprise

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-63136214683921740252016-05-01T21:18:00.001-04:002016-05-01T21:18:25.243-04:00

Ahhhh, I finally have my laptop back from the shop, where it went to be de-buggified.  Stupid viruses. So much has happened, I'm just four treatments away from the end of the external radiation. It's been a rough ride, but also a learning experience and a time of great blessings. I wasn't really sure how to sum it all up, or even if I should try to sum it up at all.  What I've decided

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-15329346681981103262016-03-28T18:03:00.001-04:002016-03-28T18:03:18.837-04:00

Easter has passed, in a flurry of rainy weather, food and flowers. With a bit of chocolate thrown in.  At first, I felt a little surprised by the coming of Easter. It seemed like it sneaked up on me while I wasn't looking. I felt a bit lost, because usually the Easter season is a time of reflection for me, aided by liturgical material that helps me draw close into worship and a renewed focus

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-30201137282558444032016-03-21T11:23:00.001-04:002016-03-21T14:35:07.255-04:00

Last Thursday I met my radiologist in Worcester, after which I went to the cancer clinic in Fitchburg where I'll be receiving radiation treatments. Both Brian and I really liked my radiologist, Dr. Moni. She explained everything well, and was very honest with us. There were some hard things that she had to share with us, mostly about how the radiation treatments will affect my body, and in

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-79705271643790006062016-03-16T14:57:00.001-04:002016-03-16T15:08:07.954-04:00

Today was a rough day. Mutant is causing quite a bit of pain, as well as messing with me in other ways.  As a chronic pain patient, I am accustom to living with some level of pelvic pain on a daily basis, and often the pain from my IC (interstitial cystitis) is more intense than what Mutant is doing to me now. But Mutant pain is more difficult to deal with emotionally.  I have spent

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-77671187941383724752016-03-09T15:21:00.000-05:002016-03-09T15:21:05.044-05:00

This past week end, my two dearest friends, Sandy and Cathy, came to spend the week end in Massachusetts with me. They stayed in a hotel in Gardner, and I spent Saturday night at the hotel with them. It was brilliant. We went to Texas Roadhouse for supper, I got a 1$ pair of Batman pajamas and Sandy and I both bought robes that were so soft, they're like being wrapped in kittens. Alive kittens,

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-16284036007730033572016-03-03T10:16:00.001-05:002016-03-03T12:44:36.463-05:00

Note to self - stop scaring the whoosiewhatsit out of your husband. Seriously. I know that you don't like doctors. It's nothing personal, it's just the whole doctor thing. You've never really got past the "they'll think I'm faking" phase. Consequently, you can be doubled over in IC pain, clutching your heating pad and a useless bottle of advil, weeping and maintaining through gritted teeth, "

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-41929970306293482462016-02-29T18:20:00.001-05:002016-02-29T18:20:20.081-05:00

Last Thursday I had my first appointment with my gyn-oncologist, Dr. Bradford. I was hoping to learn more about the Mutant (someone suggested I name the cancer, and Mutant seemed as good a name as any) and what the plan was to get rid of it.  During an internal examination, the Mutant started bleeding profusely.  I had been bleeding to some extent, daily, for two weeks and without

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-48772472084734451822016-02-22T11:14:00.000-05:002016-02-22T11:14:01.187-05:00

So, what exactly is a "Burkie"? Grace and I spent the past week at a family Christian camp in Burke, N.Y.  The camp is called Burke Camp. Which makes sense. And the campers? Burkies. What can I say? It works for us. Plus, it's fun to say. Anywhooo... Burke Camp is an amazing place, a small, loving community in a gorgeous, rugged setting. Yes, rugged. Because having to walk 2 minutes to

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-40435239353684588602016-02-22T10:03:00.000-05:002016-02-22T10:05:32.008-05:00

In the four days since I found out about my cancer, I have watched a three part Ken Burn's documentary called "Cancer, the Emperor of Maladies,"  a Canadian documentary called "A Day without Cancer," and I'm in the middle of 'The Bucket List," a movie that I've seen before and enjoyed about two men with end stage cancer who chose to spend their last days fulfilling their bucket lists. 

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-35949055446743342782016-02-21T11:55:00.000-05:002016-02-21T11:55:29.648-05:00

Last week I had an uterine biopsy. It was a routine procedure, my periods have been getting very irregular and I've been bleeding or spotting almost daily.  I've also been having increasing pelvic pain that, as time has gone by, I began to recognize as not coming from my IC bladder. In preparation for a uterine ablation, a procedure that would shut down my menstrual cycle for good, the

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-78334977818420124612015-12-23T08:31:00.001-05:002015-12-23T08:45:13.893-05:00

Yesterday morning I was poking around in my Facebook memories, and I found a blog post that I wrote three years ago, called "'Someday' is waiting for us!" I wrote this at a time when I was feeling very alone and vulnerable, and deeply insecure.  I wrote about what I was feeling from the perspective of a disciple of Jesus Christ, as one who is being "transformed in His image." (2Cor3:18) I

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-84403716092586186072015-12-18T15:45:00.000-05:002015-12-18T15:47:29.276-05:00

Ah, the age old question - how to write a post in a blog that has been silent for ten months. Okay, maybe it's not an age-old question, but I've been thinking about it for ages, so...same thing. It has been an eventful ten months.  I spent the summer in Franklin Centre, Quebec, with my dearest friend and her family. It was a wonderful opportunity to spend time with her before I was to move

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-4390196745515685112015-03-12T15:21:00.000-04:002015-03-12T15:25:34.086-04:00

Three weeks ago today, I was at the Trudeau airport in Montreal, waiting at the arrivals gate, staring intently at the people coming through the doors. My Grace and her love, Darren were arriving from England It had been three months since I had last seen Grace. I had yet to physically meet Darren, but I knew him well through Skype chats and instant messages, and through the

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-5235066381226391672015-03-06T23:30:00.001-05:002015-03-06T23:44:55.643-05:00

 Today I went with Grace, Darren and Grace's dad, Mark to  The Montreal Holocaust Memorial Centre.  It was a second visit for all of us except for Darren, and it was good, in the way that difficult and powerful moments are good. Darren is an English historian, an expert on the world wars and the 1940s. Still, he felt that there were gaps in his knowledge about the

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-58263537425894866632015-01-28T13:59:00.000-05:002015-01-28T13:59:25.292-05:00

Today, Wednesday, January 28th, is Bell Let's Talk Day, an initiative from Bell Canada that focuses on raising awareness about mental health issues.  The premise is simple and one that is close to my heart, that if people will tell their stories and listen to the stories of others, much of the stigma and shame associated with mental illness will be replaced by understanding, compassion and

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-22865712851220595012014-12-21T13:06:00.001-05:002014-12-21T13:06:03.309-05:00

This a repost from September 23rd, 2013.  I watched the last episode of the first series again this morning, and was reminded of the strength of kindness, especially when it is sacrificial.  Dear Lord God, if I am to err, let it be on the side of kindness. Amen.      Grace and I have a new favorite television show. It's a British production called Derek, written,

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-70094136854857386572014-12-15T11:40:00.003-05:002014-12-15T11:41:35.088-05:00

It has been a few weeks since the dreaded/much anticipated November 25th, when Grace flew off into the wild blue yonder and came back down to earth in England.  We all survived.  There were tears, and lots of hugging.  Excitement. Joy. Gratitude. Laughter. And yes, mourning. I wonder how much of our daily difficulties and dysfunctions are rooted in a failure to

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-75396772561965971062014-11-22T14:55:00.000-05:002014-11-22T14:55:16.686-05:00

A few nights ago, I was lying on my back on my bed, watching Grace search the room for her "sparkly" shoes.  Grace and I were in Massachusetts with Brian and the family, and were sleeping in Brian's room, on the huge California king sized bed that will one day belong to Brian and I. While Grace searched, I jokingly asked her, if she found them, would she put them on and tap her heels

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-2089144641956304792014-11-22T14:51:00.000-05:002014-11-22T14:54:01.314-05:00

It's Saturday.  Grace is leaving on Tuesday.  I wish I could say that I have been busy preparing her favorite foods, spending evenings going through old pictures with her and weeping into her baby blankets as I pack them away, along with all the sweet memories, to bring them to Massachusetts with me. Yeah. No. Don't get me wrong. We've spent every moment possible together, which

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-59532334100563696982014-11-10T14:42:00.001-05:002014-11-10T15:10:32.364-05:00

On Saturday, Grace booked her airline ticket to Norwich, England.  She is leaving on November 25th.  Landing in Amsterdam, catching a connecting flight to Norwich and arriving early on the 26th.  She is going home, her new home, in Scratby, Great Yarmouth.  In England. Egad. While Brian helped her book the flight, I sat at the kitchen table with them, absently leafing

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865423286287077727.post-22429614648946812122014-10-12T19:57:00.003-04:002014-10-12T20:02:41.073-04:00

So my birthday was last week.  I turned 48.  The day before, I went into the pharmacy to pick up a few things.  At the beauty counter where I went to pay for my purchases, the saleswoman offered to give me some free samples, and started rifling through a stack of little sealed packets of facial creams and cleansers.  As she flipped through them, I heard her say softly to

Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.com0