Rich Hancock's Free Radio Show Prep

Saturday Show Features

2012-01-28T05:15:00.027-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.

He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual??"

"Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual ...because he hated the book!"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
People in a New York neighborhood said the word "school" has been misspelled as "SHCOOL" for months on the street outside of a high school. The residents said the sign outside of Marta Valle High School on the Lower East Side -- was painted "SHCOOL X-NG" during the summer and officials have failed to correct it for several months. The local PTA president said "Nothing surprises me anymore at this school."

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A Lynn, Mass., woman was charged with larceny after she allegedly stole 18 12-packs of soda and tried to feed them -- un-emptied -- into a can-return machine.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
If you believe everything you read, better not read.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
An 85-year-old Alaskan woman saved her husband from an attacking moose by hitting the animal with a shovel until it ran off. George Murphy was walking the couple's dogs back to their truck near the Willow Airport when an agitated moose ran him down into a snow bank. His wife was waiting in the truck when the moose turned toward her. She grabbed a shovel out of the back of the truck and took a swing at the animal. When it continued to attack her husband, she gave the moose some whacks across its rump. It finally took off.

Friday Show Features

2012-01-27T05:15:00.020-06:00

Yes, it's me. The ONLY disc-jockey in America who makes more money than Mitt Romney.

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Q. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Now you can own Stalin's death mask. Bronze casts of Joseph Stalin's face and hands at the time of his death could fetch $4,600 to $7,700 at auction in the UK. Mullock's auction house said the bronze casts are among 12 copies from the original plaster cast made when the Soviet dictator died in 1952. They say "It is the closest you could come to having Stalin in your living room."

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Mexico City police say they have arrested a would-be bandit who rode his skateboard to bank robbery attempts. Police say the man and his skateboard have been turned over to prosecutors after he allegedly attempted to rob two banks by whispering threats to tellers.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A 448-pound British woman training with the Japanese national women's sumo wrestling team said the sport taught her to love her body. Sharran Alexander of London, said she took up sumo six years ago. She said "I used to be ashamed of my size and wore unflattering clothes -- but after taking up sumo up I learned to love my body." Alexander, who has won four gold medals at international sumo competitions, said she is training with the Japanese team this month.

Thursday Show Features

2012-01-26T05:15:00.035-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

The patient says: "What’s wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled.”

The doctor says: “I can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with you. I think it’s the result of heavy drinking.”

The patient says: “Well then, I’ll just come back when you’re sober.”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Elias Diaz filed a $1 million federal lawsuit alleging jailers in New York City made no effort to find a jumbo jail uniform he could wear rather than the single pair of sweats and T-shirt he wore every day of his incarceration. Diaz, who weighs 400 pounds, had to wash his clothes in the shower. Adding insult to alleged injury was the fact the Vernon C. Bain Center has a tailor on staff. Diaz claimed friends tried to send him clothing, but the packages were rejected.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police said a Florida man charged with drunken driving was so out of it he did not realize the left front tire of his Lexus was missing. The man was arrested in New Port Richey. He was pulled over after an officer noticed smoke and sparks coming from the place where the tire should have been.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A TV gardener has shared his tip for keeping flowers perky - feeding them a tiny dose of Viagra. David Domoney says one milligram of the blue pill gives drooping blooms a lift and extends their life. Australian scientists first discovered Viagra's potential in the plant industry and their research was published in the British Medical Journal.

Wednesday Show Features

2012-01-25T05:15:00.024-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Husband says: Why can’t you make bread like my mother?

Wife says: I would if you could make dough like your father!

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A French official said he is hoping "Napoleonland," his idea for a Napoleon Bonaparte theme park, will one day be a rival to Disneyland. Yves Jego said he is trying to raise $278 million to build the amusement park on the site of Napoleon's 1814 victory at the Battle of Montereau. Jego said the amusement park would include re-enactments of some of the French leader's most famous victories and a recreation of Louis XVI being guillotined.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Windsor, Ontario are searching for a woman who allegedly bit another woman during a road rage argument. The 41-year-old victim told Windsor Police she was attempting to parallel park in front of her home when a woman stepped out from between two parked cars. The driver said she pointed her finger at the woman while telling her it was unsafe to walk into the road from between the two cars and the other woman allegedly grabbed her hand and bit her finger.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
He who laughs last thinks slowest.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Swedish church is attracting a younger congregation - by staging services featuring techno music. The services at Stockholm's All Saints Church were the idea of a local vicar. He sees them as a way of boosting dwindling congregations by attracting younger church-goers. Based on a traditional mass, they replace hymns with especially written modern dance tunes. And they are proving highly popular with young Christians who are, quite literally, dancing in the aisles.

Tuesday Show Features

2012-01-24T05:15:00.031-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A Windsor, Ontario woman has ushered in her 101st birthday by having her ears pierced, saying she gave in to peer pressure. A staff member at the senior center where Viola Arnold lives suggested she celebrate her upcoming birthday by having her ears pierced for the first time. She decided to do it. Somebody also suggested she get a tattoo. The 101 year old woman said "no" to that.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Chicago police arrested and ticketed a man for surfing in the frigid waters of Lake Michigan. The 40 year old man was ticketed for surfing more than 50 yards from shore, unlawful presence on a closed beach and jeopardizing the safety of others on the beach. Police also confiscated his surfboard.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wacko surfers out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Massachusetts animal shelter took nearly 100 hamsters from the home of a man who said he could not control their breeding. The man visited Methuen Animal Care and Adoption Center to ask for help with his growing hamster population. The man said he started off with two hamsters -- a male and a female -- but over time they continued to reproduce. He said he had to start keeping the animals in 5-gallon buckets, Tupperware containers and an empty cat litter box.

Monday Show Features

2012-01-23T05:15:00.030-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane!"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Residents of Woodstock, Ga., have set up a memorial along a highway where Bob the Turkey, the town's unofficial mascot, lived and died. Bob was hit by a car and killed near the intersection where he lived. The turkey became an icon to local residents. Bob was buried near the city limit sign and people have flocked to the area setting up a makeshift memorial with flowers.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

The Dutch air force says two of its F-16 jet fighters tried to help police chase a criminal suspect. The jets were about to leave Volkel airbase on a training mission when they heard local police had requested a military jeep to chase a suspect over soggy terrain. The pilots volunteered to help search using their infrared cameras. In the end, a tip from a suspicious neighbor, and not a high-tech jet, led police to the suspect.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Swedish union has filed a discrimination suit against a store accused of forcing an employee to wear a name tag listing her bra size. The Commercial Employees' Union said it is suing the company that owns the Change store in Gothenburg after the woman complained that she was forced to wear the bra size name tag.

Saturday Show Features

2012-01-21T05:15:00.027-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Did you hear about the cannibals that attended the wedding?

They toasted the bride and groom.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A New York woman who wound up with two husbands at the same time can keep the support payments from her first husband. A recent court decision said husband No. 1 can stop paying $60,000 in annual support, but Eda Silber, of Long Island can keep the $300,000 she's already been paid. And even though Eda married husband No. 2 before her divorce from husband No. 1 became final, she's not a bigamist under law because there was no state marriage license involved in her second wedding.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police at Cairo's international airport confiscated 420 pounds of frozen cow brains from three Sudanese travelers who planned to sell them to Egyptian restaurants.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Only light bulbs can go out each night and still be bright come morning.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
An unemployed New York doorman was cured of pneumonia, but says the $44 million hospital bill almost gave him asthma. Alexis Rodriguez was one of several hundred patients to receive wildly inflated bills because of a computer error. The bill from Bronx-Lebanon Hospital should have been for no more than $300, but instead was listed as $44,776,587. Rodriguez said: "I almost had an asthma attack."

Friday Show Features

2012-01-20T05:15:00.035-06:00

Add-libbs on today's show are insured by Lloyd's of London.

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Mo goes to a revival and listens to the sermon. After a while, the pastor asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Mo gets in line and, when it’s his turn the pastor asks, “Mo, what do you want me to pray about?” Mo says, “Pastor, I need you to pray for my hearing.” So the pastor puts one finger in Mo’s ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays for a while. He removes his hands and says, “Mo how’s your hearing now?” Mo says, “I don’t know pastor, it’s not until next Monday.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A British man had his passport tattooed on his back and even used the image as an ID to take money out of the bank. Richard Ashton said he had his passport inked on his back while backpacking in Australia. He wanted something to remember his holiday by, and he also wanted something patriotic.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A Charlotte, N.C., man says 30 pairs of Nike Air Jordan sneakers still in their boxes, that he's been collecting since middle school, have been stolen. Someone broke into the man's home and took the shoes that could be worth more than $10,000.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
An Italian resort town overrun with wild boars has granted residents the right to shoot them on sight! Spokesman for the town of Alassio, said the boars have worn out their welcome by digging up and ruining gardens, causing traffic accidents and striking fear into children and adults. Maybe the boars will end up on the dinner table. They are considered a delicacy in Italy.

Thursday Show Features

2012-01-19T05:15:00.027-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Man I got a lot of problems!

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
The French parents who were taken to court for trying to name their son after a character on "The Vampire Diaries" were given permission to keep the moniker. Lionel and Blandine Defontaine said they named their son Daemon after the character Damon on the U.S. TV series. The parents were taken to court under a French law banning names that would be "contrary to the interests of a child" with prosecutors arguing the moniker has satanic connotations. However, the judge gave the parents permission to continue calling their son Daemon.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Authorities in Florida said they arrested a man who allegedly called 911 seven times and claimed he was being kidnapped by Checker Cab. St. Lucie County sheriff's deputies said the man called 911 seven times in less than hour and claimed he was being kidnapped when the driver took him back to the Checker Cab depot in Fort Pierce. The driver said he tried to take the man home, but the man was unable to give a specific address, smelled strongly of booze and rambled incoherently during the ride.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Just because someone else thinks it's worth doing doesn't make it worth doing.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Authorities in Alaska say a church congregation in Anchorage evacuated Sunday morning services because of a carbon monoxide scare that turned out to be bear spray someone shot off in the basement. 200 people fled Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church due to the strange smell and irritated throats. Firefighters ventilated the church with fans. Anchorage police are investigating.

Wednesday Show Features

2012-01-18T05:15:00.047-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This is what I want to print: Bernie is dead." The man at the newspaper said, "But for $25 you are allowed to print six words." The woman answered, "OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A Scottish woman, 65 year old Stephanie Noble, said the owner of the land where her pony previously grazed left the pony on her lawn in the Western Isles after a personal falling out and she has since moved the animal into her home. Noble, said she braced her ceilings, added a gate to contain the animal and transformed her kitchen into a grain store. She reportedly is not bothered by complaints from neighbors or the urging of the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to hand the pony over to the organization.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Gainesville police said officers attempted to pull over a blue pickup truck because it had a headlight out, but the driver failed to stop and ran a red light while fleeing the police vehicle. After being caught, the the man told them he fled so he could smoke his crack before going to jail.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Put cheese on your hamburger. No point in using only part of the cow.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Florida woman said she doesn't know how her 5-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor managed to escape from her home for a few days of freedom. Linda Simmons of Sharpes, said Smokey the snake escaped from an aquarium with a wooden lid held down by books and a bowling ball. The snake was found in a neighbor's yard. I'm sure the neighbor was not to thrilled to have a snake that size in their backyard!

Tuesday Show Features

2012-01-17T05:15:00.029-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A Swedish court has reversed the conviction of a man sentenced to jail for having his wife exorcised while she was tied down. The appeals court said bruises and other physical damage the wife said she suffered during the proceeding could have been faked with makeup. The wife testified her husband entered her bedroom with a black-clad stranger, tied her hands together and held her legs. She said she managed to get away from him and flee.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Florida said a 2-year-old boy clued officers in to his wanted father's hiding spot in the attic. St. Petersburg police said officers went to the home of of a man who was wanted for violating his probation. The mother of his child told them the man was not home. However, the 2-year-old child blurted out that his father was in the attic.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age looks tired.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Doctors in Germany said a woman who gave birth to identical quadruplets beat odds of about one in 13 million. Doctors at Leipzig Hospital said the mother, whose name was not released, beat the daunting odds when she became pregnant with quadruplets Laura, Sophie, Jasmin and Kim without the help of artificial insemination. They say it was near miraculous that the pregnancy made it to the 28th week without complications. The girls were born 10 weeks early.

Monday Show Features

2012-01-16T05:15:00.025-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Q: Where did the hamburger take his date?
A: To the meat ball.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
An electric fence failure led coyotes to kill nearly 100 chickens kept by a Washington state restaurant. The staff of the Herbfarm Restaurant in Woodinville discovered the slain chickens. One person said: "There was one chicken sitting on the fence, looking forlorn"

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police say a Florida man admitted he robbed two banks to pay his girlfriend's rent. Pinellas County Sheriff's Office investigators say they identified the man from St. Petersburg by lifting fingerprints from a demand note used to rob a bank.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Georgia school district's response to complaints about a math worksheet dealing with slaves picking oranges didn't sit well with some parents. District officials in Norcross said they would work with the faculty at Beaver Creek Elementary School to come up with better questions than: "Each tree had 56 oranges. If 8 slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?"

Saturday Show Features

2012-01-14T05:15:00.028-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

"I got this great new hearing aid the other day," said one elderly man to another.

His friend asked: "Really? Are you wearing it now?"

"Yup," came the reply. "Cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s top of the line."

His friend asked: "What kind is it?"

He answered: "Twelve-thirty."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Italy's Supreme Court has ruled brides and grooms are liable for costs of the wedding but don't have to pay their jilted lover for the pain and suffering. The court ruled in favor of a Sicilian man who called off his wedding two days before the ceremony without providing a valid reason. The man was sued by his former fiancee for $12,800 to cover wedding expenses. The woman had been awarded an additional $39,000 on appeal to cover "moral damages" suffered by the canceled engagement but the Supreme Court ruled against the moral damages award.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Hutchinson Island, Florida authorities said a man who stole two golf carts told deputies he took the second cart because it was illegal for the keys to be left in the ignition. He was arrested.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
It's no use having a good memory unless you have something good to remember.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

A Chinese farmer is claiming that a goat-riding monkey keeps sneaking onto his land to steal his vegetables. The farmer, from Guangdong Province, says the animals are owned by a neighbouring circus. He claims the pair sneak into his field nearly every day, eat a lot of vegetables and damage many others. And you thought you had problems with your garden!

Friday Show Features

2012-01-13T05:15:00.035-06:00

Today's show is rated "G" for "Goofy."

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful.

When the guest finally was able to speak, he gasped, "I’ve heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I’ve met who passed out a sample of it."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Residents of a Florida neighborhood said vultures have been attracted to the area by as many as 30 pig carcasses someone dumped in a creek. The neighbors in the Wares Creek neighborhood of Bradenton said someone has been dumping pig carcasses into the creek and officials said they do not know where the pigs are coming from or who is dumping them!

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Wisconsin said a man who took a car for a test drive from Madison to Milwaukee told officers the long test drive was normal. Madison police said the owner of A to Z Auto in Madison called 911 and reported a man had driven off in a 2000 Nissan Altima without waiting for a salesman to ride along. Police arrested the joy rider.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out that wheels on luggage would be a good idea?

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A big bluefin tuna, tipping the scales at more than 593 pounds, brought in the big bucks -- $736,700 -- at auction at a Tokyo fish market. The sale valued each kilogram of the fish at roughly $2,736. The auction winner was a Tokyo-based operator of a Sushi restaurant chain. The restaurant officials said the reason for the big bid was that what's caught locally should be eaten locally and not shipped out of the country.

Thursday Show Features

2012-01-12T05:15:00.040-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A neutron walks into a bar. "I’d like a beer" he says.

The bartender promptly serves up a beer.

"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.

"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Workers at an Australian reptile park said Atomic Betty, a reticulated python believed to be the country's largest snake, weighed in at 302 pounds. Staff at the Australian Reptile Park in Gosford said the 21-foot reptile weighed in at 4 1/2 pounds heavier than at last year's total. I wonder if the weight gain could blamed on "holiday eating?" Anyway, getting Atomic Betty out of her enclosure and to the scales area was a delicate operation taking six reptile keepers a half hour.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Philadelphia said a group of vandals painted cars and walls and smashed vehicle windows. The youth then posted a video of their crime on YouTube. Police are trying to track down the suspects.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
There is a guaranteed way to get what you want: want less.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Chinese toy company has released preview images of its latest creation, an action figure of late Apple founder Steve Jobs who died in October. The company said the 1-foot tall action figure of the former chief executive officer of Apple Inc. is expected to start shipping in February at a price of $99 each.

Wednesday Show Features

2012-01-11T05:15:00.026-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A teacher asked one of her pupils, "What’s the nation’s capital?"

The reply was, "Washington DC."

On being asked what the ’DC’ stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Officials with a Wells Fargo Bank in California are being tight-lipped about how the bank ended up being left unlocked for two days. A customer at the bank on Arena Boulevard in Sacramento said he arrived at the closed location Monday and discovered it had been left unlocked when it closed for business Saturday. A branch manager who arrived with a police officer declined to comment on the situation.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

The owner of a Clarksville, Tennessee home that has been vacant for more than a year said he was shocked to discover a 10-foot-by-12-foot wooden deck had been stolen.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
When you have accumulated sufficient knowledge to get by, you're too old to remember it.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

A Massachusetts woman said her 5-year-old daughter burst into tears when police officers showed up at her door and demanded her overdue library books. Shannon Benoit of Charlton said she was shocked when a policeman showed up to her door and informed her that her daughter, Hailey, had two overdue library books and needed to either return the books or pay for them. She said her 5 year old daughter asked if the police were going to arrest her. The mother found the books and returned them.

Tuesday Show Features

2012-01-10T05:15:00.009-06:00

From the "Did He Really Say That?" Department:
Former NBA star Charles Barkley, believing his microphone was turned off, allegedly described his gig as a Weight Watchers spokesman as a "scam." Barkley, who serves as an NBA commentator on TNT, made the comments during a commercial break in Thursday's game between the Miami Heat and the Atlanta Hawks. He said: "I thought this was the greatest scam going -- getting paid to watch sports. This Weight Watchers thing is a bigger scam."

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

How can you tell that managed care has cut into your doctor’s income?
He takes Friday off to play miniature golf.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
The organizer of the Frozen Dead Guy Days winter festival in Nederland, Colo., said she purchased the event to keep it in town. Amanda MacDonald said she wanted Nederland to keep the event, which celebrates the 1994 discovery of Grandpa Bredo Morstoel's frozen corpse in a freezer. The local chamber said it could not afford the festival anymore. The March festival will include a hearse parade, a coffin race, a salmon-toss, frozen turkey bowling, a frozen T-shirt contest, polar plunges, and live music.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

St. Petersburg, Russia police found a huge stash of caviar - 385 pounds - stored in the refrigerated space where cadavers are kept in a hospital morgue. The arrested men said the caviar, or salted fish eggs, was to be a treat for hospital employees at a New Year's party.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
The more you have the more you spill.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

A Florida man was removed from a civil trial jury after sending a Facebook "friend" request to a defendant. The juror from Sarasota was removed from the jury after he sent the Facebook request to one of the defendants in the personal injury lawsuit from a traffic accident case. The juror said he accidentally sent the request while browsing the Facebook pages of the defendants to see if he knew any of the involved parties.

Saturday Show Features

2012-01-07T05:15:00.038-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Murphy's wife borrowed his car and parked in the supermarket parking lot. Just as she came out loaded down with groceries, she saw a young man break into the car, hot wire it and drive off. Naturally she reported the matter to the police. The police Sargent asked: "What did he look like?" She said: "I don't know but I got the licence plate."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Two people who said they thought it would be funny to order fast-food while naked found themselves arrested for the stunt in Galesburg, Illinois. The man and woman were arrested on public indecency charges after allegedly pulling up to a McDonald's drive-through window without any clothes on.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Boynton Beach, Florida say a drunken driving suspect who said he had only two drinks had a receipt in his pocket showing a nearly $140 bar tab. He was arrested.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Help a man when he's in trouble and he will remember you the next time he's in trouble.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

The old fake $1 million bill scam failed yet again, this time with a North Carolina man allegedly trying to use one at a Walmart store. A man tried to pay for a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items totaling $476 with a $1 million bill at the Lexington, North Carolina Walmart. Every once in a while someone tries to pass off a fake $1 million bill. For the record, the largest U.S. bill now in circulation is the $100 bill.

Friday Show Features

2012-01-06T05:15:00.038-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
'I want to travel around the world with my darling husband', says the wife ... 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand !

Husband says 'sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ...' So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A British mother said she was shocked when an iPhone at a Tesco store told her 12-year-old son to "shut up" with a four-letter profanity. The mother said her son was testing out the phone's system, which answers spoken questions. The iPhone gave the boy the obscene answer when he asked it to tell him the number of people in the world. Store employees said pranksters messed with the phone.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said a Florida woman reported her purse was stolen. She later received a text message demanding $100 for the bag's return. The man called her the following day and said the price had increased to $200 and she would have to give him her prescription medication. Sheriff's deputies arrested the man when the purse was returned to the victim.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
If you file it you will never need it. If you need it you haven't filed it.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

A Florida woman was arrested after allegedly throwing pink paint on her ex-boyfriend and his car at the parking lot where he works. Hallandale police said the woman and her ex-boyfriend split up in July, but she showed up at the parking lot where he works and threw pink paint on the man and his car before dipping her own hand in paint and leaving an imprint on his front seat. Investigators said the woman then bit her ex on the arm, leaving an imprint of her teeth. Ouch!

Thursday Show Features

2012-01-05T05:15:00.022-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

There was a drunk driver who was pulled over by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.
The police officer said: "YOU'RE DRUNK!"
The drunk said: "Thank heavens for that! I thought the steering had gone."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A Colorado man who found $10,000 before boarding a flight in Las Vegas says he returned the money to the owner because he wanted to show his children it was "the right thing to do." Mitch Gilbert said he found two unmarked Caesar's Palace envelopes at the airport and realized there was money inside when he arrived home. Gilbert called the airport and eventually got in touch with a man from El Paso, Texas, who reported the money missing. So you see, there are some honest folks out there!

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A Springdale, Wash., man was arrested in Idaho for drug trafficking after police found him with 3.3 pounds of marijuana hidden in Christmas gifts. The man was pulled over for erratic driving in Idaho, on his way home from visiting family in Montana.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

An 82-year-old Wisconsin man said he has jumped into Lake Michigan for his 60th and final Polar Bear Plunge event this past New Year's Day. Garth Gaskey, of Brookfield, who is known as the Polar President of Milwaukee, said he will call it quits after 60 consecutive years of taking wintertime plunges into the great lake. He said: "I'm getting old."

Wednesday Show Features

2012-01-04T05:15:00.042-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Q: Why did God create economists?

A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
New Jersey wildlife officials said they want to know what a borough mayor means when he says skunks are being put into "witness protection." The mayor of Avalon declined to reveal what his borough is doing with relocated skunks after it stopped taking them to a local Wildlife Management Area when the Upper Township mayor complained. I guess he didn't want the skunks in his town's area. The mayor of Avalon said: "Within the last year we've taken about 80 skunks off the island. We're trapping them and putting them in the witness protection program. We don't know where they're going."

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Wyoming said a gunshot reported at a Starbucks cafe was found to have originated from a juvenile's purse. Cheyenne Police said officers secured the area after the bullet put a hole through a chair and a wall and a girl with a hole in her bag told the officers, "I think my purse went off."

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Never wave to your friends at an auction.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

Two workers at a reptile park near Sydney were all shook up running for their lives when a big crocodile named Elvis suddenly lunged at them, making off with their lawnmower. Elvis was already not exactly a hunk of burning love, having eaten two girlfriends at another crocodile park where he lived. He struck again surging out of the water while the workers performed routine maintenance nearby and dragged the lawnmower back into the water. The cantankerous croc is believed to be between 40 and 60 years old -- more or less in his prime. He was captured near Darwin, in Australia's north, for attacking fishing boats.

Tuesday Show Features

2012-01-03T05:15:00.031-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

"I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed."

The husband rolled over on the couch. "You *should* be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless brothers of yours never gave us a cent."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
The story of a British man living in Panama who sold all his material possessions on eBay will be turned into a Hollywood movie. Geordie Usher said Walt Disney Co. has bought the rights to the story of his life. Usher made headlines in 2008 when he auctioned his entire life -- including possessions, house, car, job and even friends -- following a divorce.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Four youths from southwestern Sweden escaped injury when their cache of New Year's fireworks mysteriously went off as they were driving. The four people were returning home after buying the fireworks when the fireworks suddenly ignited and began exploding inside the vehicle. The driver stopped the car near Gislaved and all four people fled. When the unplanned display concluded, the car was nothing but a smoldering heap.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:

A whirlwind of pillows bearing the names of bosses and teachers filled the air as hundreds of Chinese gathered to blow off stress in Shanghai, staging a massive pillow battle. The annual event marked its fifth year with such a surge in interest from stressed young office workers and students that organizers held two nights of pillow fighting. Organizers wanted to provide an outlet for stressed out workers and students. Wouldn't it be neat if they resolved all world conflicts with pillow fights?

Monday Show Features

2012-01-02T05:15:00.047-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Parking ticket payment and procrastination just go together, but a man took 58 years to pay Houston the $1 citation he received the day he joined the U.S. Army. Dale Crawford, now 79, said he found the citation while going through some stuff at his home in Houston. City officials say parking tickets now cost $35, plus $1.50 for every hour they're late. An official said: "We are so impressed with him coming forward that we have waived penalties and interest."

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

An 80-year-old grandmother in Florida successfully fended off an armed attacker who was attempting to rob her 61-year-old daughter. Josefa Lopez said she felt "no fear" when she used her aluminum cane to fight off the gunman who had physically assaulted her daughter. The assailant, who fired a gunshot at Lopez but missed, is still at large. He reportedly pulled Lopez from her Ford Expedition, shouting, "Give me," and pistol-whipped her. That's when the 4-foot-9 woman took control of the situation.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A cat has survived a four-hour, 200-mile ride under the hood of a car traveling through Ohio. A man who'd left Xenia (ZEEN'-yuh) in southwest Ohio on a drive to Cleveland stopped at a rest area south of his destination when he smelled something. A patrolling state trooper found the motorist with his hood up and a large black and white cat that wasn't his stuck in the engine compartment. The animal had burns on the right side.The cat was taken to an animal hospital in nearby Lodi (LOH'-dy) where a vet said he was going to be fine. The vet is calling the cat "Eclipse" because that was the model of the car. The SPCA is trying to find the feline's owner.

Saturday Show Features

2011-12-31T05:15:00.048-06:00

Have A Happy New Year!

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We will celebrate New Year's Eve tonight in the radio station parking lot when, at midnight, we drop Harry the engineer from the roof of the radio station.

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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a martini to the amazement of the bartender.

When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he’s further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill.

The bartender takes the $20, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he hands the gorilla $1 change.

The gorilla quietly sips the martini until the bartender breaks the silence.

“We don’t get too many apes in here,” he says.

The gorilla replies, “At $19 a drink, I’m not surprised.”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Authorities in Oregon said a man was apparently under the influence of drugs when he broke into a home and attacked residents with a Tiki torch. The man allegedly grabbed an unlit Tiki torch from the back yard of the Aloha home and forced his way into the house. A couple sleeping inside said they awoke to see the man, who was wearing only underwear, socks and a bandana around his neck, swinging the Tiki torch at them. The homeowner grabbed a handgun next to the bed, but the intruder knocked it out of his hand, causing it to fire off a round into the wall. The woman grabbed a shotgun and ordered the suspect to leave the house. The intruder was climbing out of a bathroom window when Washington County sheriff's deputies arrived and arrested him.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

New York state authorities said a man was cited on a marijuana charge after a sheriff's deputy helped him enter his locked car. The Livingston County Sheriff's Office said the man asked a deputy for help after locking his keys inside his car at a gas station. The deputy opened the door to discover a strong odor of marijuana. The sheriff's office said some marijuana was seized from the car and the man was cited for unlawful possession of the substance.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A US firm called Burnt Impressions has created a toaster that creates an image of Jesus on every single slice it creates. Creator Galen Diveley came up with the idea after reports of people seeing what they thought was the likeness of Jesus in slices of toast. He said the response to the toasters has been awesome. He had to call in family and friends who were working around the clock to process the mountain of toasters.

Friday Show Features

2011-12-30T05:15:00.049-06:00

Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks
and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman
speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak
and the neighbors listen.

Later the lawyers speak
and the judge listens.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A woman who just flew back home from Las Vegas says an airport security officer confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be a security risk.Rebecca Hains said the Transportation Security Administration agent at McCarran International Airport took her cupcake, telling her its frosting was enough like a gel to violate TSA restrictions on allowing liquids and gels onto flights to prevent them from being used as explosives. Hains, who lives north of Boston, said the agent didn't seem concerned that the cupcake could actually be explosive, just that it fit a definition about what was prohibited.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police say an 80-year-old Chicago woman had an encounter with an alleged purse-snatcher that included being dragged by a car. The victim refused medical treatment after being dragged down the block by a suspect who reached out of his car window and grabbed her purse. The woman never let go of the bag, and officers quickly nabbed the suspect.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
There are only two ways to travel... first class and with kids!

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Salt Lake City truck driver who won a Lamborghini worth about $300,000 in a convenience store contest crashed the sports car six hours after he got it, and he now plans to sell the 640-horsepower convertible because he can't afford the insurance or taxes. The lime green convertible was being held by his insurance company at a Utah towing yard. It will be sent to an authorized Las Vegas dealer for repairs.