Thoughts of a Black Woman

The Museum of Me

2012-01-13T01:13:00.000-08:00

Freelancers Need Business Mentality Instead of Employee Thinking

2012-01-12T14:17:00.000-08:00

Foolishly I tend to visit writing forums. Afterwards I generally feel the need for a bath, but I keep getting sucked into this cesspool of negativity. My issue with them is the overwhelming negative nature of them. Instead of these creative artists supporting each other and helping, they tend to kill their young. Meaning new writers. The cliches or bullies as I like to call them circle the new writers like sharks who have smelled blood in the water. In a sense I get that writing online is competitive. People on most of these forums are scraping by on income from pay per views and pennies for articles, so a new person is a threat to them. What I don't get is that they willfully ignore sound advice on raising their income by branching out instead of relying on one place for income. So instead they go from place to place until they either get the Demand Studios type of "firing" or another site decides to go in a "different" direction. Some have claimed to have lost 90% of their income due to changes at Yahoo and Demand Studios. Strangely I see this as the writer's fault. Here's why: They knew from others that things were changing but went the route of "It's not going to happen to me, they must just be bad writers." or the "I am loyal til the death even for pennies, so I won't run a profitable business, but instead allow myself to go broke to prove it." Both of these plans have come back to slap people in the face. Now there are threads and threads on "Where can I make money online?" or "Who offers the most pay?" and my personal favorite, "I need to make (Insert HUGE amount here) in 3 days." Now to be fair most of the people writing this are work at home types, particularly moms. They don't think like business owners, but employees. They do their assignments and no more. They wait for opportunities to come to them instead of going out and making their own. So, the issue is with their mindset. Running a profitable business is not a curse, and if a client has no work,then as a business owner you should secure it elsewhere. My feeling is, since all of the main writing spots are pay per view, there is absolutely no reason to stick to one place. These writers tend to write five or more articles a day, so by spreading it out among various places, they would not be reliant on just one place. Further, as some of these writers have gained lots of experience in writing, they should be doing ebooks as another passive income generator. It is time for the employee mentality to be over and to do what is best for your income. Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Deal of the Day Site Review: Nomorracks.com

2012-01-09T16:26:00.000-08:00

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Welcome to 2012

2012-01-04T16:42:00.000-08:00

December 31

2011-12-31T08:23:00.000-08:00

If January 1 is an ideal time for renewed consecration, December 31 is an ideal time for thankful reminiscence. The year has not brought us everything we might have hoped, but neither has it involved us in everything we might have feared. Many are the perils, the failures, the miseries we have escaped, and life to us is still gracious and wholesome and filled to the brim with satisfaction.

  Best day of all the year, since I
    May see thee pass and know
  That if thou dost not leave me high
    Thou hast not found me low,
  And since, as I behold thee die,
    Thou leavest me the right to say
  That I to-morrow still may vie
    With them that keep the upward way.

  Best day of all the year to me,
    Since I may stand and gaze
  Across the grayish past and see
    So many crooked ways
  That might have led to misery,
    Or might have ended at Disgrace—
  Best day since thou dost leave me free
  To look the future in the face.

  Best day of all days of the year,
    That was so kind, so good,
  Since thou dost leave me still the dear
    Old faith in brotherhood—
  Best day since I, still striving here,
    May view the past with small regret,
  And, undisturbed by doubts or fear,
    Seeks paths that are untrod as yet.

S.E. Kiser

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Cleaning Up My Twitter Stream

2011-12-22T08:47:00.000-08:00

No, not going to unfollow anyone or anything like that, but I am going to stop retweeting so much. Here is my reasoning. Most of what I retweeted, the people I follow, also follow, so no need for me to put it out there.
Second, little ROI on retweeting, meaning that most of it was not being retweeted on, so no way to gage what people were interested in or not. These are all time wasters for me, and it fills up people's streams who don't have a lot of followers.

You may disagree with this decision, but what I noticed was I actually went back to my roots and talked to people, and of course, the snide comment to some journalist. People started talking back too. I enjoy that. This is all about relationships, and if not retweeting stuff my people don't really care loses me some followers, not worried about it.

Of course this does not mean I will never retweet again, as is clear from my time line, but I will be more careful about who and when I retweet. But might I add that on G+ I don't feel pressure to reshare posts like I do on Twitter, and I have to wonder why. I do reshare on G+, but not as much. We tend to converse about the topic instead. Yes, I know some of the "gurus" on Twitter might take issue with not retweeting, but until they can prove the real ROI for it for me and my followers, I think I will just go with my gut.

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Failure Is Only What You Make of It

2011-12-15T05:58:00.000-08:00

Recently I was given an opportunity to do something I really enjoy. I ignored the "checks" in my gut to turn down this "awesome" opportunity. That was my first mistake, ignoring my instincts.

As the project went on, it became clear that I was in way over my skill set. One too many "you can do it" books told me to push through and at least try. The only problem with this logic was there was no time to learn how to do what I was now being asked to do.

The result was two people being very frustrated (my self and the producer). I worked hard and still it was wrong. I am pretty good at tapping into things, and I knew my days were numbered for this project. Oddly enough I was at peace with it. Part of me wanted to quit, but that's not in my DNA. So, when they fired me, no one said it, really, I just knew.
No need for explanations on either side, just hand over the material, delete all the stuff off computer, and watch a movie.

May I say the sigh of relief I felt was almost staggering. If I had not tried, I would have been kicking myself, but it turns out I had cut/recut this project 37 times. So while the norm is to say I failed, I don't see it that way. I see it as a learning curve. I learned to stick with what I do best, to continue to learn to be better at that and don't ignore your gut.

Whenever I think of failure I think of Thomas Edison. If he had given up every time something didn't work, we would not be as technologically advanced as we are and writing by candlelight. So, my word to you today is failure is only what you make of it. What looks like failure could be the thing that reveals your purpose more clearly.

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Cause I Love You

2011-12-03T22:36:00.001-08:00

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

I Am Growing Sick of Twitter "Rules"

2011-12-01T04:14:00.001-08:00

Oh, for the days of old when being on Twitter meant there were no rules. They are long gone and replaced by whiny babies who call themselves experts posting their do's and don'ts of Social Media.

So what are the rules they have pronounced?
1. Do retweet all my crap, but don't post any of your own.
2. Do Promote my snake oil and I MIGHT throw you an "affiliate" fee or allow you to talk to me.
3. Don't post your own blog post or you will be accused of being nothing but a marketer.
4. Don't talk about your kids, food, politics, religion, alcohol or swear.
5. Don't talk to me without being introduced and make no attempt to be introduced.
6. Don't bother me at conferences I have more important people to meet, but do buy my book and give it a great review on Amazon and of course, tweet that.
7. Don't thank people for retweeting you, but do get ticked off and blast them if they challenge your post or tweet.
8. Do unfollow anyone who is can call your BS by what it is.

Well, you know what, here has been the outcome of these "all knowing" specialist of nothing.
1. People don't talk on Twitter anymore, they go elsewhere to do it and leave their tweeting on auto-pilot.
2. The "experts" are outnumbering us normal folks so they can hang their shingle and sell their promises of an ROI to some unsuspecting business.

I am pissed off because these parasites have taken over Twitter and social media events. What I want to see is the checkbook. Is all their "expertise" paying off literally or are they as phony as a $3 bill? They are like the so called life coaches where statistics prove they make no money. In fact, the average income of a LC is $10,000 per year. I suspect the same is true for all these Twitter experts. They are just a bunch of loud mouths who know how to spin a tale online while being supported by someone else.

So here is my FREE advice, unsolicited but necessary. Don't listen to these fake gurus and stop this moment with the idol worship. If you have been on Twitter any amount of time you know just as much as they do and probably more. If you want to talk to your friends, go ahead. Want to show that picture of the baby or cat rolling a ball, be my guest. It's time for the sane, normal people to take back Twitter from these self serving people who need therapy for their need to feel important

YOU ARE FREE TO TALK AGAIN ON TWITTER!!!

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

IT COULDN'T BE DONE

2011-11-30T04:49:00.000-08:00

After a thing has been done, everybody is ready to declare it easy. But before it has been done, it is called impossible. One reason why people fear to embark upon great enterprises is that they see all the difficulties at once. They know they could succeed in the initial tasks, but they shrink from what is to follow. Yet "a thing begun is half done." Moreover the surmounting of the first barrier gives strength and ingenuity for the harder ones beyond. Mountains viewed from a distance seem to be unscalable. But they can be climbed, and the way to begin is to take the first upward step. From that moment the mountains are less high. As Hannibal led his army across the foothills, then among the upper ranges, and finally over the loftiest peaks and passes of the Alps, or as Peary pushed farther and farther into the solitudes that encompass the North Pole, so can you achieve any purpose whatsoever if you heed not the doubters, meet each problem as it arises, and keep ever with you the assurance It Can Be Done.

  Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
    But he with a chuckle replied
  That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
    Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
  So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
    On his face. If he worried he hid it.
  He started to sing as he tackled the thing
    That couldn't be done, and he did it.

  Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
    At least no one ever has done it";
  But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
    And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
  With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
    Without any doubting or quiddit,
  He started to sing as he tackled the thing
    That couldn't be done, and he did it.

  There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
    There are thousands to prophesy failure;
  There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
    The dangers that wait to assail you.
  But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
    Just take off your coat and go to it;
  Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
    That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

Edgar A. Guest.

From "The Path to Home."

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Late Bloomer Not So Bad

2011-11-29T07:30:00.000-08:00

When I was young I was constantly getting into trouble for trying to wear make up. I got in trouble so much that it pretty much turned me off to it, so that it was only on rare occasions when I wore it. Now 30+ years later after watching way too many episodes of Top Model shows from Britain, Australia and America, I seem to have turned a corner.

My first turn came from actually buying some make up. That's impressive for me. Unlike most women, no one would accuse me of helping this industry turn a profit. I went full out with everything from foundation to a kit with all kinds of shades of color.

What's new make up without new clothes, so I threw in a few purchases of some new, more trendy stuff as opposed to my self imposed jeans or black clothes. Who knew I had this budding fashionista waiting to burst forth.

Some of my friends got tickled by my new found "hobby" especially when I admitted to now watching fashion shows and practicing a catwalk of sorts.

I like this blossoming person coming out who is willing to grow, be daring and just have fun with it. This lesson applies to anything we do in life. We are never too old to do something new.

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Acrobat at Fashion Minga Show

2011-10-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

The video is blurry in places where it is adjusting to the light. This is the low res version and not the HD which it was originally shot in. It is a great performance. Enjoy. Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

The Real Lesson in the "Bridesmaids" Movie

2011-09-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

I finally saw "Bridesmaids" movie, and it was funny, but there was also some lessons in it. One of the main lessons was to fight for your life and stop just taking whatever it dishes out to you. Or, stop being a victim of circumstances. The main character was down on her luck, but spent most of the movie feeling sorry for herself and having melt downs. When true friendship or love was present, she had no capacity to see it. Her business had gone down the toilet, the boyfriend dumped her when she no longer had a business, and of course, she had the "f*ck buddy" she let use her at the cost of her self esteem. Her roommates were beyond odd and her job was definitely not her calling. The Bride spent the movie becoming what she wasn't and basically throwing off her old friends for the wealthier ones. Having a wedding she couldn't afford and her father didn't want her to have. All for appearances. She, of course, gets mad at her real friend for telling her the truth, albeit in a really bad way. Megan, who was a tad touched to be sure, really was the voice of reason. She confronted victim girl in an odd way to get her to see that her problem was herself. Of course, the movie had the obligatory stereotypes with women having their kids cuss them out, wealthy marriages meaning one is lonely, and of course, the lesbian kiss. If you can get past all that and the raunchiness, there is a message in there that is worth hearing, and better yet, acting on. Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

I Discovered Jeff Beck

2011-09-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

Uh, where have I been that I had not heard Jeff Beck before now? I had heard the name I think, but happened upon him due to a person on Google+ sharing a link to Joss Stone with him doing "I Put a Spell on You." One of my favorites thanks to Bette Midler.

Since then I have listened to his whole Emotion and Commotion CD, and may I say, this is one badass guitar player. A different Google+ person thinks he might be an alien since what Jeff does is "impossible" for any human to do.

For your listening pleasure

Brush With The Blues

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

When They Make You Afraid to Be You

2011-05-06T00:41:00.000-07:00

recently I came upon a circumstance which resulted in my doubting myself and questioning my abilities. I can easily find evidence to contradict the doubt, but it's like the 'Seinfeld' episode where Jerry was so upset about the one guy who didn't like him, that he went to insane methods to find out why.

Fortunately I have a friend who KNOWS me and knew what to say, and it helped, but I noticed I was hesitating before doing this item I had be criticized about. Actually "criticized" is a generous word since they actually gave no reason for their criticism.

Being the kind of person I am, the not knowing why is bugging me. I admit it. I love to know the why. When I was in college I had a professor who used to get so irritated because I had questions. I stopped asking after a while, but now I see that was one of the best things I did instead of others who pretended to know.

In this case there will be no answer, but I am becoming okay with that because one critic does not mean it's true, or more importantly that I am compelled to believe them. No one gets that kind of power over me anymore, no one.'

I wonder how many people who were criticized by people who didn't know them, but only a glimpse of them, have stopped doing what they are passionate about because of that one critic. I dare say quite a bit.

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Donald Trump Shows His Racism and The Girls of the View Tell How

2011-04-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

I used to be a fan of Donald Trump, but now just the mention of his name makes me want to throw up. Why? His racist rants of Obama that while being disproved by the media are also being perpetuated by them by giving him TV time and print space. What they should have given him was an expat package and sent him to some remote island, preferably one with poisonous snakes.

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Who Does it Better Battle: Stylistics, Hall & Oats or Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye

2011-04-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

I like to do this fun battle on who sings it better, so this week, I bring you the song "You are Everything."
The contenders are The Stylistics and Hall & Oats and Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye. Who do you think does the song better?

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To mix it up a little Diana Ross & Marvin Gaye also do the song

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Has Social Media Made Us Less Tolerant?

2011-04-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

I am moving toward the idea that with social media the world has become less tolerant than in times past. I am not speaking of sexuality, race, or even politics, but of people making mistakes.

Someone venting to their friends and family on a site like Facebook can be fired for it. I am not sure that is the path we want to start going down, or rather continue along. It tramps on the American right of free speech guaranteed to us in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights.

We know it does not cover hate speech, slander and such, so why have businesses decided that their employees do not have that right? When a person can be fired for criticizing a boss, students, or whatever, it seems to me we have moved the freedom of speech line.

We are used to it on TV where a person misspeaks or says something they should not and they are fired because of an intolerant public who picks it as their cause of the moment. This was troubling enough, but when people are having conversations with friends, that is fair game?

Yes, it is public, but as I have always said, it is not the ones who are talking who are the problem, but the ones who are silent and you don't know what is going on in their head until they go on a shooting rampage.

By being intolerant we are teaching this generation that if you mess up in thought, speech, or in how I think you should be, I will destroy you. The funny thing is the people who REALLY are doing bad stuff, the people are quiet about or watch it for entertainment. But be a school teacher venting to her friends and it's OK to destroy her career. Something is wrong with that.

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Surprise, President Obama is Running Again

2011-04-04T03:27:00.000-07:00

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Barry White - I've Found Someone

2011-04-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

My Beef With the Self-Help Industry

2011-03-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

I have a beef with the self-help industry, and it's a pretty big one. It is the lie that YOU are at the bottom of all that is going on around you. I know some would take issue with that, but here is my reasoning:

1. If your life isn't what you think it should be, it's your fault.
2. If your marriage isn't what you think it should be, it's your fault.
3. If your children are rebellious and making questionable choices, it's your fault.
4. If you are not perfect, yep, you guessed it, it's your fault.

I can't fault the self-help industry too badly for cashing in on your feelings of low self-worth, even if they are partly to blame for putting them in you. It is a multi-billion dollar industry that feeds off unhappiness and self-doubt.

What if we looked at the problems a different way though.
1. Are you doing everything you can to to make your life a good one? If so, if it's not, it's not your fault.
2. Are there two people in your marriage? If so, why are you the only one responsible for making it what you think it should be? and secondly, is your view of marriage realistic or based on what these gurus tell you it should be?
3. Did you teach your child right from wrong? If you did and they made a different choice, how is that your fault?
4. Is perfection REALLY realistic? Nope, but the idea of it sells really well.

My other issue with the self-help industry is the idea that you are not enough as you are. There is always something else you have to work through, process, or overcome. You can't just BE. Again, I can't fault them since they found what sells and keep hitting it til they get all your money.

That is my other issue. Do you REALLY think some of the gurus have all the right things for you? I doubt it. Some of the top marriage gurus have been in multiple (3 or more) marriages. That is a deal breaker for me. Those same gurus have kids that don't see or speak to them, and they themselves are going back and forth looking for perfection.

I used to be into the whole self-help thing until I realized I am enough, flaws and all. I have friends who love me, flaws and all, and whom I love. I find myself smiling sometimes for no reason at all and I find it is a genuine happiness that is not dependent on always getting it right.

Life is a journey and there will be ups and downs. My last problem with the self-help industry i?s they want to take you from your journey with false promises of some kind of utopia to come where you will have no problems and everyone will be what YOU want them to be. See how that works? The fault finding doesn't end with you, but is cast over all those you encounter and judge as less than.

What do you think? Is the self-help industry a never ending cycle of "what's wrong with you?"

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

My Birthday Song: It Was a Very Good Year by Della Reese

2011-03-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

2011-02-28T01:50:00.000-08:00

May I ask how it is possible that Britain keeps producing black sounding singers? Simple really, voice training and who they listen to.

Kobe Bryant is, "The Black Mamba". Directed by Robert Rodriguez

2011-02-19T15:55:00.000-08:00

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln

What More Can They Do-Laura Izibor

2011-02-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

I was listening to the "For Colored Girls" soundtrack, and this song resonated with me. It reminded me how in my darkest hours I would tell the universe to take its best shot because I was not going anywhere and that I would be better after it. That has proven true for me and I am so happy to have backbone. I don't mean that in a bragging way, but we all know people who go to pieces if they break a nail.

I've been dragged across the desert in my bare feet
with no food or water with nowhere to sleep
Been ridiculed and abused
wrongfully accused
What more can they do to me x2

I've been looked out with no reason
With no reason why
Had to look straight into my enemy?s eyes
Been stripped from my head to my toe
Nobody seems to know
What more can they do to me x2

And they took the heart you beat with and they tore it down
They put all your dignity on the ground
Left you afraid and alone

The truth is still unknown
What more can they do to you x2

And they told you to go back where you come from
But you chose not to react
You chose to stay strong

And when they take everything away and still forgiveness you pray
And what more can they take away
What more can they do to you
What more can they take away x7

I've been dragged across the desert in my bare feet with no food or water with nowhere to sleep

Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln