Just Jules

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

2013-05-11T20:11:00.000-07:00

Finally my Mom has internet access and can read a Mother's day blog that is long overdue!

I have the world's most fun mom, how many people can say they have a fairy Godmother for a mom! When we were little,she taught preschool and we always did the most fun crafts. We sang fun songs, she made our dresses and taught us about many different cultures.

As we got older, she took us to do fun things. She has worked for Disney most of my life, so on days off of school she would let us stay in Disneyland while she worked. Then on nights she didn't feel like cooking,she would take us there to eat dinner. She drove me on many crazy adventures, let me stay in a school far from our house and drove me there daily.

She instilled a love of all things Disney in me. Not many girls had to call their mom the day Annette died knowing that she would be crying! She taught me to watch Haley Mills movies, the Mickey Mouse Club and Alice in Wonderland.

She let me throw silly little parties like Pauly Shore wedding parties ( don't ask, it was a phase okay?) and Halloween parties. She took us camping, it wasn't her fault I drank the bacon grease that one time thinking it was hot chocolate!

We had a lot of fun together. We haven't lived together since I was 18 years old, I remember the days of living in our apartment in Orange together fondly. We had some fun times in that apartment planning my wedding, going to the mall and other fun things.

Mom has always been a good friend to me. The kids love her and called her ''Best friend Grandma'' when they were little. She and Conner are particularly close, I often will find him talking to her on the phone during his school lunch breaks. They've loved their Disney grandma, she always takes them on fun adventures, buys them fun treats and helps them out on special trips. How many kids get to go to Disneyland as much as they want? My kids have been more than some kids have been in their entire life.

She helped Marty plan a 30th birthday camping trip for me, she helped us with our move across country and many other things. Last year, she even helped me get cookies to my favorite cyclist! Now she is hooked on watching cycling since she watched it live!

Mom, you taught me to be kind, loving, patient, a good mom to my kids, a hard worker, a Pollyanna, someone who loves to do crazy things,and you taught me to bake great Christmas cookies too! I am so thankful for all you do for me and my family, we all love you so much. Happy Mother's day!

The Little Voices in My Head

2013-05-10T19:08:00.002-07:00

I may be weird,silly and a little nuts but I am not that crazy! These are the voices in my head:

A few months ago, when we moved into this house in the middle of winter; I was walking around on the wood floors with no socks on. My feet were cold, suddenly I could just hear my Grandma saying, '' Put some socks on those feet. You''ll catch a cold.'' Not literally, it was just years of her repeating that sentiment that somehow, it finally sunk in!

Funny how years after she's gone, that little voice remains in my head. We never realize how much we'll miss those little things until they're gone. As the years go on, moving farther away from when they were alive, I miss my grandmothers so much, sometimes it takes my breath away. It does take much to make me miss them, a song, a scent, hearing someone talk about a soap opera one or the other watched.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my kids about my Gramie and how she smelled of Avon Intrigue, Doublemint gum and cigarette smoke. To many that sounds disgusting but to me it was heavenly. I was recalling that scent from memory. A week later, a man walked into my job smelling like Doublemint and cigarette smoke. It took everything I had to keep my composure and not start bawling on the spot. It was amazing on one hand and so heart wrenching on the other hand.

As I moved away from home and family, I thought a lot about my Grandma Brown. She did the same thing many years before leaving her family in Wisconsin for love in California. She raised her family away from her own family and created her own life with my Gramps. I knew she would've been the first to encourage me to go and take a chance.

I hear my Gramie when I iron shirts, she taught me how to starch when Marty was going through the police academy. It was the very last lesson she taught me as she died before he graduated. I can hear her telling me how to iron the crease and put just the right amount of starch.

They are the little voices in my head as I walk this journey of mothering and being a wife. They were two of my best friends in the entire world and my heroes. I love that even though they're both gone, they live on through lessons learned and lessons taught.

As Mother's day approached, I just needed to write this out and remember them in some way. It's been 10 years since Gramie has been gone and seven years since Grandma has been gone. I still get jealous when I hear other people talk about seeing their grandparents, I still miss them just as much as the day they died and maybe more. Not sure I will ever be ready to let go. So thankful for their voices that live on in my head.

"You're So Weird''

2013-05-06T19:06:00.002-07:00

When I named this blog, I named it Just Jules for a reason; I am just Julie being Julie, I've never been one to conform to the norm. Over and over the same phrase is repeated to me, so much so its become my catch phrase, '' Julie, you're so weird!''

For a long time, I struggled to understand why I was so different? I didn't realize that all little girls didn't read books about Princess Di over books about Super Fudge. Or when most girls my age(9) were listening to Madonna and I was listening to Tears for Fears, I had no clue I was different? My after school reading material was ''The Fitzgerald's and the Kennedy's'' before I was reading Bop.

What do you mean its weird to not like baked fruit? my cousin Sarah agrees with me, baked fruit is so gross! Who wants to eat a hot, cooked apple? Not me.

To me this is all really normal, nothing out of the norm. I tend to forget that other girls who liked New Kids on the Block really and truly liked pop music. I never really was a fan of pop music outside of this one act, I was more in it for the boys per say.

Other girls in high school were shopping at Charlotte Russe, The Limited and Gap. Instead, I was out searching thrift stores for vintage clothes and wearing plaid skirts while dyeing my hair bright red. To me it was normal and fun to be different.

I always have preferred to watch old movies, read historical books over new works. I have always been told by my Dad that I was born in the wrong time. I am an old soul in so many ways. Singers and standards, musicals, punk, and the Cure make me happy

Who knew I had a weird memory skill that most others don't?

My sense of humor is warped ( some may say non existent), I have a nervous laugh, take life way to seriously and have a huge, tenderheart. I've had a strong faith ever since I was a very young girl, its something that has always been there as long as I can remember. One of my best friends calls my strong gut feelings, sixth sense my ''spidey sense'', I always listen to my gut feelings and sometimes have to share some of those with friends about things in their lives. I prefer to call it a ''the gift of discernment''

I prefer to watch pro cycling ( there is a story and reason behind that), I have a weird view on celebrity thanks to living on the other side with friends, I don't have many people on pedestals to me we are all going through this crazy life and are equals.

I homeschooled my kids for many reasons, I moved across country to help a friend, I would rather stay home with my family than go out. I think being a wife, mom, daughter, cousin and friend is the world's most important job.

To me all of those things are normal. I am so not cool and totally okay with that! Truthfully, I don't want to conform or be normal. I like being different, its is what makes me...me. I have absolutely no desire to be anyone different than me. I always am striving to be better, change and grow but not to conform to the patterns of the world.

So the next time you call me weird? Just know to me, its a badge of honor.

Around the Table Memories are Made

2013-05-03T18:51:00.002-07:00

Today I was moving a rug from under a table, a simple task that brought back a flood of memories. Sitting around the table was and is a huge deal in my family. A visit to family means sitting at the table, talking, reminiscing playing games and laughter. If you ever visited my grandparents house, chances are you sat at their table and chatted. If not, let me take you on a journey 'round the table where memories were made.

It started even before I was born, here is my dad at the table of some family occasion;

My Grandpa,KanKad and Gramie ( paternal and maternal grandparents, they were good friends) celebrating a birthday around the table. My Grandparents were friends and did a lot together

My first birthday at my Grandma's table with Grandma looking on. This was the ONLY time we were every allowed on Grandma's table. One of her sayings was ''Tables are for glasses, not for little @@@es''

Sitting on my Grandma's lap at her table

Playing under Grandma's table was a favorite of my cousin's and I. We would lift the tablecloth, crawl under and imagine our own little worlds. We played casino with poker chips, post office, grocery store for hours on end. Once, I had the bright idea that we should move Grandma's table and the rug under it to play ice rink on the wood floors. I will NEVER forget the wrath of grandma after that incident, lets just say we didn't ever do that again.

My grandparents had five tables in their home. One in the kitchen where you often found grandma and grandpa sitting during the day. One in the living room where we sat as kids and watched MTV. The dining room table that was the buffet on holidays, the place we sat and sang Christmas carols and oldies, the place we played Trivial Pursuit and Encore.

Grandma and Grandpa round the table celebrating their 40th birthday

Birthday's round the table were a favorite of mine. Here I am celebrating my 16th birthday at the picnic table outback. We had two large picnic tables at Grandma and Grandpa's that were used year round.

This next picture was my 18th birthday. Three months later, I would sit in the very same seat shaking like a leaf as I announced my engagement to Marty. I remember staring at the lace tablecloth scared of the reaction that would come.

The same table would later hold the food for my bridal shower followed a year and a half later by a baby shower for me.

Our family would later plan care for my grandparents round the table, then the table held food for two funerals eight weeks apart. We would cry and reminisce at the table for months to come. Then the table moved to my aunt's house where it now hosts holidays, family dinners and most importantly this

Baby Drew playing under Grandma's table

This weekend when our family visited my uncle Bill's house, we sat around his table playing games, eating, talking and laughing. Making memories around the table to reminisce about for years to come. A couple of years ago, I asked a friend to make a sign for me. Above my table when you come to visit, there will be a sign that says, "Around the Table Memories are Made''

Come visit, we will make some memories around my table just like the memories I have from many years sitting around my grandmother's table.

Thanks for Helping us Move

2013-05-01T08:29:00.001-07:00

During my brief stint with writers block, some of my twitter friends sent me blog ideas. It was so nice of them and I have used one of them already. My follower and swim buddy Alicia suggested I write a post thanking those who helped with our move. Such a great idea and definitely something that needed to be done.

This cross country move has been an undertaking of epic proportions. I am so thankful for the many wonderful friends and family that helped us move. We truly couldn't have done it without them and they made the load much lighter.

Thanks to my Mom for helping in a huge way. We truly couldn't have moved without her generous help and support. She drove across country with us, mapping the route, finding hotels and saving receipts. Thanks Mom for supporting us.

Thanks to our friends Matt and Tammy for giving us a wonderful going away evening at your home, for the beautiful words of support and encouragement. Coming to your house will always be some of our fondest memories of living in Visalia.

Thank you to the Katayama family for coming and doing the really hard work. We couldn't have done it without you. Thank you Kim for organizing dinner with Sandi as well, for bringing us dinner and goodies to take on the way. We are so thankful for your many years of homeschooling support and friendship.

Our friend Michelle, she supported our family for so many years in so many ways. She came and helped so many moves and cared for our dogs for years. She brought us dinner on our last night in Visalia. We miss her so much.

Heather and Huntar, thanks for coming and hanging out, helping clean the last night. Thanks for being Elizabeth and I's besties. We loved our last girls night out with you both.

The Marcelino family: thanks for listening, supporting and being there during my last days in Visalia. I am so thankful for the love and support. I miss you all every single day and never laugh so hard anymore.

Dad: Thanks for coming up that last weekend and working so hard to get us packed up. I am so glad you came and pushed us to do more. We miss you so much and hope to see you soon.

Lee and Flavia: we wouldn't or couldn't have made this move without your prayers, love and support. We are so thankful for all that God is doing with our two families.

The Franklin and Burnett clan: we are so grateful for the kindnesses you've shown and the warm welcome to Knoxville. We look forward to knowing you better as time goes on.

Rebecca J, Thanks for meeting us on the road, giving us goodies and for being so welcoming. Can't wait to know you more and more.

Clare and Bella: thank you for the lovely housewarming gifts. Melissa and Sheila, thank you for the lovely housewarming cards.

For every person that called, messaged or tweeted their encouragement we thank you as well. Grateful to be one loved and supported family. It truly takes a village and we are so thankful for each person who helped along the way.

Happy Birthday Cousin Series: Happy Birthday Jillie!

2013-04-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Wait for Baby, Jill is bringing up the rear in the cousin series. She isn't an orphanage anymore, finally she gets her birthday blog. I had to add some favorite family sayings in to the opening, only family will get them and soon I will blog on what they mean.

Ah Jill, another of the ''J'' girl cousins. Jill is number ten in the cousin line up, definitely not last or least. Jillie was truly, the cutest little girl you've ever seen. She had the cutest little face and personality as a little girl, one of my favorite memories is her singing ''Little Ducky Dawdle'' as a little girl.

Jill and her sister Caiti

Jill, Julie, Carrie,Brianne, Rissa and Andy being Andy

Jill often got called by my name and I've often been called by her name. We both are swimmers, though she is a far better swimmer than myself. We both swam competitively in high school.

One my wedding day, my feet hurt so badly in my wedding shoes and at the time Jill was about the same size shoe. So she gave me her shoes to wear around so that my feet wouldn't hurt. The funniest part about that story is at the time she was 11 years old! she had normal size feet and I was still wearing kid sizes at the time.

I moved away and rarely got to see Jillie. Thankfully Myspace was invented and that is when I really got to know Jill. We both love to read and have bonded over our mutual love of classic books. I love talking with Jill, she is so intelligent and we just understand one another. It's been awhile since we've talked and I am missing her writing this blog.

My favorite thing about Jill is her fun bond with Elizabeth. They are both a lot alike and just clicked when E was very young. She LOVES seeing Jill and talking to her. They both love cartoons and reading amongst other things. Jill once wrote a story using E's nickname of "Bibbeth'' and actually created E's own special nickname from her.

Elizabeth had a pair of purple pants that were hand-me downs from a friend. She wore them to a family function one time and Jill told her ''Those are your amazing purple pants'' and kept the joke running about E and her ''amazing purple pants''. She actually had my mom buy her a pair of purple pants this year because she didn't have a pair. It's a cute little running joke that has endeared Jill to E, which everyone will tell you is no easy feat.

Jill is also a red head like myself, as our aunt Alison always tells us ''you both were meant to be red heads'' and we both enjoy it. This is one of my favorite pictures taken last year

Jill, it's so nice to have a cousin who just gets me and I get her. I love the fun bond we share and am sorry that I've been MIA recently. I miss our little chit chats and look forward to catching up soon. You truly mean the world to me and I am thankful for you.

Cousin Series:

Julie: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/09/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy.html

Brianne: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/07/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy.html

Sarah: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/06/happy-birthday-sarah.html

Rissa: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/09/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy_22.html

Jessie: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/11/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy.html

Andy: http://www.julesmpg.com/2013/02/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy_18.html

Jamie: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/06/cousin-birthday-series-happy-birthday.html

Caiti; http://www.julesmpg.com/2013/02/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy_24.html

Jillie; this blog

Ben; http://www.julesmpg.com/2013/03/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy.html

Lacey; http://www.julesmpg.com/2013/01/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy.html

Alex; http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/08/happy-birthday-cousin-series-dear-alex.html

Randon; http://www.julesmpg.com/2013/02/happy-birthday-cousin-series-happy.html

Happy 13th Birthday Snookadoodle

2013-04-27T00:00:00.001-07:00

My baby is a teenager today, how is that even possible? Seems like just yesterday Elizabeth Helen came screaming into the world. Named after our paternal grandmother's on our father's sides, she came into the world with a big name and an even bigger personality.

E and her best friend Chocolate the dog

From the moment she came into the world, she let us know what she liked, how she liked it and how wrong we were doing it. She has kept us on our toes ever since.

From the moment she was born, she's been the girl of many names. Conner called her ''little bit'' because he couldn't pronounce Elizabeth. That morphed into ''bibbeth'' for the same reason and then things just went crazy from there.

Finishing her second triathlon

E is her online name given by me. It's easier to type E than to type Elizabeth, so many people now call her E when they meet her. We don't call her E ourselves, if we call her by name it is Elizabeth or Elizabeth Helen.

She loves her ''Moo Moo"'

She's been B.A. ( bad attitude), then that morphed into ''Stinky'' because her attitude stunk. That morphed into "Stinkadorfulus'' for awhile. We've called her ''pookie'' which turned into ''snookie'' BEFORE the Jersey Shore ruined it.

With her best friend Huntar on moving day

Marty turned pookie into ''POOHHHNNKEY" which is mainly what he calls her these days. Lately I've stuck with ''Snookadoodle'' or ''Stinkadoodle''

with Crazy Rachel on their birthday last year

My Mom calls her Beth, My Dad calls her Liz and recently her friends started calling her Lizzie. Funny enough; with all these names when someone calls her Lizzie, it throws me for a loop.

Our beautiful girl!

Whatever her name may be, Elizabeth is grown into a beautiful young girl. It's been a tough move for her, she's missed her friends so much. She loves doing triathlons, being with the dogs is one of her favorite things to do and she recently told me she would like to become a librarian. She loves to read just like her momma though she refuses to read any book I like. She loves 1D, joking around with her Dad, fighting with her brother and listening to Toby Mac.

We love you Stinky, we hope you have a wonderful 13th birthday today!

Happy Birthday Friend Series: Our Crazy Rachel

2013-04-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

The summer of 1991, I begrudgingly marched into a classroom at Buena Park High School to re-take Algebra 1. It was summer, I should've been swimming in the pool but instead I was sitting in a classroom. Twenty years later, I tell you "Thank goodness I failed math!"

That fateful summer, I met one of my life long friends Rachel.

Summer after summer for three years straight, Rachel and I took summer school math together and forged a life long friendship. In high school, we weren't particularly close. We had many friends in common, shared the love of the color purple, loving to talk and being rather boisterous. Other than summer school math, we didn't spend much time together outside of school. After high school, we lost touch and remained out of touch for over ten years.

During the advent of Myspace, we reconnected online. It was during this time that Rachel's high school BFF Lori died of lung cancer. Her sudden death prompted a very heartbreaking time for Rachel and many other of our classmates. It was during this time our true bond was forged.

Rachel like myself is a night owl, many nights after Marty went to work at 10 pm, she and I would get on the phone and talk until one or two in the morning. It's no secret, Rachel and I both LOVE to talk and never run out of things to talk about!

After a few months, Rachel surprised me by stopping by my house to visit. She was driving through my area and wanted to visit. It was the first of many, many visits and it was on that visit we discovered that Elizabeth and Rachel are birthday buddies.

Rachel's first visit 09' ( Conner was 11, E was 9)

During the darkest times of my life when Marty was sick, it was Rachel who helped keep me going by coming to visit. She was that little piece of home when I couldn't go home and see my family and friends. She kept our family cheered up along with my cousin Sarah who also visited often during that time.

Birthday Month number 1

We stink at math

Rachel and E's birthday 2010

Visiting Facebook in Palo Alto

Our self made fascinators for the Royal Wedding

Somewhere along the way, during a car ride with Rachel my kids started calling her "Crazy Rachel" because she loves to sing in her purple car "Bianca" while honking and waving at people. They loved going places in the car with her. She is another step in "aunt"' to my kids and they love her dearly.

When Marty was transplanted, it was Rachel who drove my Dad and the kids over 8 hours to see us one weekend. I cry just thinking about it, she didn't have to do that but yet she did. How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful friend? Even my Dad loves ''crazy'' Rachel.

When the Royal wedding came along, Rachel drove up to spend the night with me and watch the festivities together. We even made our own fascinators!

This year, it just seems weird not having seen her this birthday month. Yes, you read that right ''month'' Rachel has taught Elizabeth that their birthday is a month, not a day. She celebrates the entire month with friends, events and activities. Many years, we had a birthday celebration for the two of them and this year we are missing out.

Rachel went back to school, got her degree and found happiness in the last couple of years. We spent many,many years praying over so many things together. So wonderful to see those prayers be answered in unexpected ways.

Rachel, you've shown me so much with your friendship. When we talk, it feels like we're still those two girls sitting in math class together. It's like life has never skipped a beat, we haven't grown older and we are just the same. Thank you for not only loving me but loving my entire family. You truly are a fourth member of the T family. We love you so much and miss you terribly. Your happiness makes us so happy, we can't wait for you to come visit us in TN!

Donate Life Day 2013: A Tale of Two Families

2013-04-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

September 23,2010 A family in California is in the midst of a dark valley waiting for a much needed kidney/pancreas transplant for their father and husband. In Texas, another family is in the darkest journey of all, struggling through grief after the loss of a child.

That afternoon, while I was on Facebook, a link to a video was shared with me, I watched it and sat weeping. The Storch family from Texas meeting the recipient of their daughter Taylor's heart. In March they had donated their 13 year old daughter's organs after her death in a skiing accident. I anxiously awaited Marty's return home from work to watch the video together.

I will never forget sitting on our couch that afternoon, watching the video together and weeping. This family had lost their child and yet given a tremendous gift to others at the same time. It brought home the price that would be paid for Marty to live a new life. Our son Conner was almost 13 at the time, the same age that Taylor was when she died. It was just too close to home. During this time, Marty had been recently re-listed on the transplant after huge misunderstanding with doctors and we knew his time was coming near. It brought reality, so close to home. Four months later, Marty received a life saving Kidney/Pancreas transplant.

We found out her parents had started an organization to raise awareness for the need of registered donors. I started sharing their posts on social media as often as possible. Who does that? Lose a child, donate and give life and then starting a foundation? Todd and Tara Storch, that's who. These amazing people in the midst of dark grief gave so much. It inspired us with hope, they became our donor family in a way, donor's of hope. We don't know them but we feel such a kinship with them.

This week, I picked up the new book written by Todd and Tara sharing intimately their journey with losing Taylor, organ donation and the donor's stories themselves

I started reading yesterday afternoon after Marty and I came home from a Nephrologist appointment at the University of Tennessee. We were there to check on his new kidney and make sure everything is as it should be. We got a great report and that always makes me think of Jerry, his mom and the Storch family. Where would our family be without organ donation?

The second chapter of the book is a look into the life of the recipient of Taylor's Kidney and Pancreas. The chapter gave me the chills. It was an honest look into life before transplant of a Type 1 diabetic. If you ever want to know all of the things I've never shared, read this book. It shares in detail many scary experiences that Marty and I ourselves lived with low blood sugars and other things. I couldn't have written it better myself.

I couldn't put down this book and stayed up until 2:30 in the morning reading it. Our stories are so tightly interwoven in the dates. During the time they were grieving their daughter, we were in the darkest time of our lives. So many of the dates mentioned in the book that they were struggling, our family was struggling as well in a very different way. Something that really hit home, this is the journey of donor and recipient We trade places in suffering.

The pain of losing a loved one is forever, while the pain of waiting for transplant is temporary. Thankfully our family always had a good perspective on this. The minute we were told our donor was only 18 years old, the wait meant nothing to us. Our donor died in a horrible way but in his very last act on earth, he was a hero to a family of four.

We are so thankful for people like Todd and Tara. Our family tries to give back by supporting their foundation in any way we can. Today is Donate Life day but it also is Taylor's birthday, she would've been 17 years old today. Instead of wearing the traditional blue and green today, our family has chosen to wear Taylor blue in her honor.

Elizabeth, Marty ( Kidney/Pancreas recipient), Julie and Conner with love to the Storch family

Her life has impacted our lives in a huge way, we never knew her in life but in death she has given our family so much hope. Reading the book and hearing about her personality, she was very much like Conner and I as a person. She was the friend to the friendless, lover of the underdog and champion of the unseen. In her death, she has really changed so many lives and will continue changing lives as the years go on.

Please go out and buy Taylor's Gift the book, register to be a donor on the foundation's website: www.taylorsgift.org, buy a Taylor's gift shirt ( I love mine, you can see it on my Twitter avi and I also make a guest appearance wearing it on the Taylor's Gift site as well) or donate to the cause!

Thank you to everyone who has registered to be a donor, to the family's who've donated and never heard from the recipients, we thank you. To the families who've made the selfless choice to donate, thank you. Thank you Storch family for making a difference and helping to promote organ donation. To Debbie, our hero mom, we thank God for you and Jerry every single day.

A/N as you know, I am a Twitter/cycling Junkie. When I started my cycling twitter, I just so happened to become tweeps with Jonathan Finger one of the recipients of Taylor's kidneys.

Finding Purpose in the Pain Devotional and Giveaway

2013-04-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

A while back, my friend Stacy from Finding Purpose in the Pain told us she would be writing an e-book devotional about her experience with chronic pain. I was inspired that she would take on such a huge task an idea that I've been toying with for a while now.

This week, her devotional has released on Amazon in e-book format. You can follow this link and buy it there, it is a great deal at only $3.99

I've known Stacy since March of 2003, we met in a prayer forum online. She was fresh out of college, I was a young mother of two. We bonded over our shared faith and grew into friends, eventually leading bible studies on that site for women around the world.

During this time, I learned of Stacy's debilitating struggle with Fibromyalgia, it was hard to fathom this young twenty something girl, struggling with severe and chronic pain. We prayed together so many times for her to be healed. Her pain only got worse and worse as time went on.

In the opening of her book, she shares a candid moment that took my breath away. Her pain had grown to the point she was anguished. In the last year, she has gone off all of her medications and has been doing really well with essential oils. It has been amazing to see prayers answered and Stacy thriving.

This devotional helps anyone whose ever been in a tough place whether it be with pain or trials. She brings the focus back to God and his word. It is a great devotional for any one actually, whether you're struggling or not.

Stacy has agreed to give away a copy to one reader of Just Jules. Simply leave your name in the comments and I will use a random picker based on the number of comments.

The Floater

2013-04-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

The floater floats around the room, talking to everyone gleaning little bits of conversation from here and there. Floaters notice the person in the corner, instead of walking past, the floater approaches them with confidence and ease. I am the floater.

I think it is safe to say, that I march to the beat of my own drum. When I titled my blog ''Just Jules", I meant every meaning of the saying. I am just me with no inclinations to conform to any patterns of this world, I just want to be the best me possible instead. Here's the thing, I know that I am different but I like being different!

Truthfully, it wasn't until I slammed into the adult world in my 20's that I started to realize that I was different. Socially I have tons of friends ( too many if you ask those closest to me, they have given up trying to keep up) and never thought that socially I was different.

It wasn't until I was in a small setting that I realized.........I don't like groups of friends. I am fine if you're in a group of friends, I just don't like the trying to fit into the group part. I am more happy to watch groups of friends do their thing but will never push to be a part of the group. Once in my twenties, I tried to worm my way into a group of friends with disastrous results. Actually, I think the results aside from the bad parts were good for me. I then realized, I like being the floater.

As I started to talk with my high school friends as adults, I realized that I knew far more people than others. It was then that I realized the benefits of my floating ways, I get to know more people outside the scope of a circle and broaden my horizons. Maybe at one point, I was on the outside wall but instead decided that floating around worked better than standing around?

It's not always easy being the floater, sometimes I struggle with it. Especially when I see groups planning fun gatherings or meet ups. I am never one to invite myself and would rather miss out than doing so. We always have something to work on as humans and this is one thing I should work on. I always feel like a pest or beggar when I do, I really have no desire to be either of those.

Floating has brought me much happiness, many gems have come from dancing around the room unaware of the groups within. I meet so many wonderful people that way, talking, listening and sometimes scaling the walls of people who are socially uncomfortable. I prefer one on one conversation, I don't like having to talk over others. One of my acquaintences always tells me, " you're deep water'' and that is the truth. I prefer the heavy duty conversations. My odd sense of humor isn't the norm and is often lost on others, so I prefer to stay deep, I like deep and know it well.

I truly doubt, that I will ever give up my floater ways and conform. I like being the floater even though, sometimes its hard. Really, I like doing my own thing which is often doing things with Marty and the kids instead of trying to do things with others. That's another blog for another day......

If you want to find me, I will be the one flitting and floating around. I am always easy to find!

One Boy Scout Mom's Wish!

2013-04-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

My dear Twitter friend 1Lavishone has offered to help me out. I am suffering from a bit of writer's block, I am reading old blogs and trying to not repeat myself. Thankfully, she has hopped in and blogged about some of her most hilarious tweets this week. 1Lavish is a dear, she has been a rock for many of us the last few months and we love her dearly.

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So, this week I've been asked by my lovely friend Jules to share a few thoughts about things that I'm thinking about?

First, my son is in Boy Scouts which is a great thing. Except when my husband is out of town and I'm the one forced to go to the meetings. Let's just say, I'm pretty girly I loathe camping and the idea of doing any of that outdoor hiking crap is just not appealing to me at all. Frankly, my idea of roughing it is watching black and white t.v.

Anyway, I take my son to the meeting (after frantically packing his special backpack for inspection - but that's another story). We get there and one of the patrol mom's starts talking about something. I saw her lips move, but all I heard was a buzzing noise that went to the center of my brain and died there. All I could think of was PLEASE STOP TALKING.

Now I'm sure she's a nice person, she's just infected with the Boy scout fever. Her excitement over the upcoming hike bordered on religious fervor. It was...unsettling.

I sat at this meeting thinking you know what would make this meeting better? Wine. Sadly there was no wine to be found. Or cake either. I spent a whole hour praying for wine and cake. Best news of the night came when hubs called from the airport saying he was ready to be picked up. We got in the car and floored that puppy!
I drove to the airport to pick up my husband.

Which leads me to my next rant. People, if you are going to turn, USE YOUR SIGNAL. I don't have ESP and I have no idea if you are planning on turning. How about if you help a sister out her and let her know what the plan is? Honestly, almost nothing is more irksome than finding out someone has decided to turn at the last minute almost causing you to have an accident.

I wish people who didn't use their turn signals could be shamed in some way into doing it. It would make the roads much safer and less irritating. This rant is in no way related to the rant about old people and stoners forgetting to turn their blinkers off. That's a story for another day......

Mother's Day Gift Idea

2013-04-06T17:52:00.002-07:00

My friends at MailPix are giving my followers 40% off Photo Books in time for Mother's day. Be sure to order now and treat your mom to something special. Just click on the ad to get the discount, really easy and simple gift giving.

Happy! Happy! Happy!

2013-04-05T17:35:00.004-07:00

Lately this seems to be the words I hear more often than not. No, I am not referring to Duck Dynasty, I am referring to comments people keep making to me. Everyone keeps telling me, that I seem so happy and look so happy. This move has been very good for us, we are very happy we moved and I guess it shows.
We truly are "Happy!Happy! Happy!" as Uncle Si says.

Fourteen years ago, when we moved to Visalia,CA from the O.C.; I was so lonely and isolated, twenty-two years old and my first time away from family and home. I cried nearly everyday for months on end though I had family nearby. I missed my friends, my job, my family and the place I grew up. As the years went on, I made friends, got great jobs, learned to be happy in my surroundings and adapted. It was so hard but worth the life change it brought about for me.

We lived a very rough, long stretch of life for many years. My Grandparents passing away, then both parents struggling with health issues and ultimately Marty's renal failure and transplant. We missed out on many years of living life while waiting for his transplant. Our plan to move came about during his waiting period and gave us hope that we could start again. It was the fuel that kept us going along with many prayers from our support system.

We agonized over leaving our family and friends once again. This wasn't an easy decision and very unpopular with some close to us. I spent many days crying after hearing how upset some were that we were moving. It wasn't easy but we knew it was time to go.

As we were driving out of California, Lizzie turned to me and said, '' I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest." and that is how we all felt. We were following our dreams as a family, taking a chance and a leap of faith.

We are so happy to have made this move. The overwhelming peace we feel is truly amazing, undescribable, and long awaited. Truly for the first time in years, we are really living life in a big way. We are meeting new friends, reconnecting with old friends and finding our way. We love exploring the area and finding new treasures along the way. We love our new little rental house, it is really nice and cozy. Soon we plan on looking for our own home.

This week I talked to three of my SOH's Olga,Tammy, and Heather all in California. They all said how amazed they were at everything happening. I also had two surprise visits from Twitter friends at work this week; Mary, Jane and Jeff all stopped by and gave me hugs. Next weekend I get to see my dear friend Kim in her beloved Pigeon Forge, a six year dream come true! I haven't felt alone or isolated this move at all, so very different from the first time around,

Thanks for all of your support along the way. The emails, phone calls, texts and tweets have kept me going and encouraged us.

Our family loves TN

My new friend Flavia

Happy C and E at Cades Cove

TN cousins sleepover!

From my front porch

Even Max is happy

E enjoying our front yard with the dogs

Confessions of a Messy Moose

2013-03-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

I was a naughty, busy little girl, who was extremely curious and mischievous In addition to those traits, I was extremely uncoordinated and clumsy. I ran into walls, fell and got hurt constantly....and we aren't talking your regular scrapes and bruises, we are talking gashes and stitches. This prompted my parents to start calling me "Messy Moose",( I was messy too, really messy) for most of my childhood.

My first accident was jumping on my parents waterbed at 18 months old, that led to stitches in my forehead. You can still see the scar when I laugh or make certain faces. Then there was the night at dinner, when I was sitting at my little wooden table next to the big table. I was pushing my chair back on the legs while eating and fell backwards, the issue was I had the fork in my mouth and stabbed myself in the back of the throat. I still remember my mom putting a towel to my face as blood came running out.

I put my cat in the refrigerator( they kept hearing him meow, I finally told them " I put him in the fwidgerator'') he never liked me again? I was only two, not sure what possessed me. I bit my sister when she came home from the hospital, I stole her bottle. I was a bad seed, a very bad seed.

There was also my childhood drinking problem, my Dad thought my mom was drinking wine all day and she kept denying it. Then they finally found me with the door pulled just so sitting on the bottom shelf drinking wine. Oh and did I mention the I had my first hangover at three, I guess that at my aunt's wedding, I went around picking up drinks off the tables. I told my mom the next day, ''Mommy, I have a fuzzy head." No wonder that I have never liked to drink, I cured myself of that.

Then I moved on to the harder stuff. One sunny Saturday morning, my parents were mowing the lawn and I was playing on the lawn. I thought the gasoline for the mower was lemonade and drank it, my Dad turned around just in time to see it. I don't remember getting my stomach pumped, I do remember Bernie giving me an Ernie doll after my hospital visit. Sadly, I didn't learn my lesson and drank kerosene from a little glass mouse oil burner months later. My parents always say, back then if CPS had been around, they would have been in big trouble.

I was a bit like Elmyra from Tiny Toons, I loved my animals sometimes too much. I accidently loved my guinea pig too hard and he died. I love the cat mentioned above, not sure why I did what I did. I loved my parakeet Duke, I thought giving him salted sunflower seeds would be a treat? I guess not.

They kept having my eyes tested and knew something wasn't quite right. Finally in elementary school they found out that I had under developed motor skills because I never crawled as a baby. I skipped the crawling and just walked. So I had to have therapy for under-defined motor skills during my elementary school years.....I was special indeed.

I have recently been asked about a picture that I included in my cousin Andy's birthday blog. It is a picture of me watching Andy blow out his candles with a head bandage on.

Well, there is a story and of course it involves me being clutzy. I had my childhood friend Christena over to visit one day after school, this was a big deal since my parents worked and I rarely got to bring friends home. We had just finished watching our favorite movie "Nadia" when my friend called us to come outside. I was running down the hallway to the staircase and tripped....putting my head through the wrought iron banister. My head was stuck and I had to have it pulled out of the bars.

I split my lip in two and had a huge goose egg. The hospital said everything was fine, stitched my lip and sent me home. After my stitches were removed, they realized my head was still swollen and discovered a hematoma. I had cracked my skull and had bruising between my skull and skin. My sisters never ate grape jelly again because they watched them cut my head open to remove the hematoma! My head is still misshapen in that area.

It's a wonder that my parents survived my childhood! Mainly after that incident the worst I did was sprain my ankle yearly in my tween and teen years. Well, there was the one time when I jumped from a moving car and got pretty skinned up. I was mainly messy in those years, always spilling something on my clothes and the like.

I am still not graceful by any means but I don't get hurt often any longer. I am very neat however, I really detest messes and like order. People wonder where Conner got his curiosity and I always tell them it was my payback. My poor parents, I totally understand, I totally understand.

A/N After publishing this blog, many stories have been left out. My childhood friend Christena mentioned one in a comment on FB. In memory of her grandma Ilene, I must share:

Ilene was my babysitter one year in elementary school. After school one day, Christena and I were in the kitchen. Her neighbor Lonnie called from his house for us to meet him at the bottom of Christena's backyard which was an orchard. I got so excited, that in my excitement I grabbed a whole bottle of dish soap and poured it in my hair. I needed to wash my hair before we saw Lonnie, or so I thought. Her grandma Ilene was so angry, it took her all afternoon to get the soap out of my very long, thick hair. Christena has NEVER let me forget this story. I laugh so hard thinking about it still to this day.

Help Rissa's Student

2013-03-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

My cousin Rissa is helping a teenaged student of her's get read for prom. I told her she could use Just Jules to get her message out to family and friends since as a teacher she isn't allowed to use social media. Here is the story and info if you want to help:

Hi Friends and Family,

Some of you may already know I have a student who was recently diagnosed with Leukemia. As I was talking to her during her first round of chemotherapy last week, she expressed her excitement about being able to go to prom, which happens to also be her birthday weekend. After extensive treatment over the next few weeks she will not have to undergo treatment that week but will most likely not have hair for prom. She is an amazing individual and her strength has me in complete awe. Her treatment plan as of now will take place over the course of 2 years. To help her and her family I want to purchase a wig for her and I want to do so before prom. Because she will need a wig for some time, after some investigation I realized that they are quite expensive. I am seeking financial contributions to assist with the purchase of a wig and any other unforeseen expenses her family may encounter.

The following is a link to give donation via paypal if you are interested.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=646G2XCMHUXSQ

Thanks so much for your help!

Rissa

I've been married how long?

2013-03-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Today is our 17th anniversary, I have been married as long as I was single ( I started dating Marty when I was seventeen years old) and it hardly seems possible that it has been that long. We have really been through so much in those 17 years. We've loved, we've lost, we've moved, we've survived. Time really does fly by and I have a feeling it will only go faster. Happy Anniversary Marty, love you.

Here's a look back at the anniversary blogs throughout the years:

10 years ( 2006): I was pretty excited on our 10th anniversary, Marty bought me a new wedding ring that year: http://www.julesmpg.com/2006/03/yeahcheercheer.html

11 years ( 2007): Little did we know that Marty didn't have a cold like we thought. He was in renal failure and we had no clue how sick he was:http://www.julesmpg.com/2007/03/11-yrs.html

14 years ( 2010): It was a very dark time. Truly in sickness and darkness, I couldn't even write but I shared a song: http://www.julesmpg.com/2010/03/i-will-be-here.html

15 years (2011): Marty had just received his transplant and I made him a slideshow of our years together: http://www.julesmpg.com/2011/03/happy-15th-anniversary-marty.html

16 years ( 2012): Thinking of Jerry and his mom, thankful for the gift of more time: http://www.julesmpg.com/2012/03/16-years-and-counting.html

Monthly Post on Finding Purpose in the Pain

2013-03-21T20:06:00.001-07:00

Here is this month's post on Finding Purpose in the Pain. I share about when I started to panic and worry right before our move to TN. Check it out: http://www.findingpurposeinthepain.com/2013/03/trust-and-obey.html

Just Jules 100,000 Page View Giveaway

2013-03-17T20:06:00.001-07:00

Never in a million years did I ever imagine that this blog would be viewed 100,000 times! The number has approached at a fast pace this last year. Mind you, it took six years for me to hit 10,000 page views and much less time for me to hit 100k.

Thank you readers, friends and family for sharing my blog with others, for reading our story and supporting our family through good and bad. It means the world to not only me but my family as well. Lately the blog has become a platform for others to share their stories as well. I love being able to share stories from other woman who inspire, encourage and promote positivity. I hope as time goes on to share more and more inspiring stories from others aside from myself.

I wish that I could give all of you a great big hug! Alas, I cannot do that nor can I send all of you a gift.
Instead, I am hosting a humble giveaway of some great items I selected from Fig and Company, my new workplace. It is my way of saying thank you and trying to give back.

As this giveaway has approached, I wanted to give things away that meant something to me. Of course, not everyone wants Nadia ( the movie), Anne of Green Gables, Jane Austen or Twilight books! So I found a few things that I thought were cute but very me.

One lucky winner will receive this gift bag

Contents:

A handmade reclaimed wood and Upwords tile sign saying ''tweet tweet''- Yáll know I am a Twitter addict

A Journal with the words ''Every journey begins with a step'' on the front ''take a step'' on the back. I love writing my thoughts and prayers down. Mostly I journal on this blog but I have kept a journal of my prayers for years. I love looking back and seeing how I've grown and answered prayers.

One burlap bag with a bicycle printed on the front. Everyone knows I love all things cycling and bikes!

Two Seattle Chocolate bars, all natural, made in Seattle. The Lemon Drop and San Juan Sea Salt are my favorites. Definitely yummy!

How to Enter: You must use this format to be entered. You use the rafflecopter to enter the contest. You must leave a comment on the blog to gain one entry on the Rafflecopter. You can gain more entries by using Rafflecopter to tweet the entry or by liking my Facebook page via the entry form. The contest will end after my page hits 100k or by next Sunday 3/24/12.

Good luck and thank you for reading my blog

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Remembering Auntie P

2013-03-16T18:37:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, my cousin in law Karen asked if I would write a blog about my Aunt Pat in honor of her birthday. I never thought about it and really wondered why I hadn't sooner? My Aunt Pat was one of the biggest influences in my young life and truly a wonderful role model.

Aunt Pat was my mom's aunt, her father's sister and one of the only living relatives on that side of the family. After my grandfather's death when I was five, she was the only member of his family we had left and our only link to his family. We often made trips up to Visalia to visit her and her family for different events or as a pit stop on family vacations.

Years later, I would wear the same pearls for my senior picture

Aunt Pat was born to Edwin and Ruby Davis. Ruby was full blooded Cherokee Indian and their children were raised to revere their Indian heritage. Unfortunately Edwin left Ruby and their small children to fend for themselves. The best way for Ruby to care for the children was to give them to family members with no children. Aunt Pat went to one aunt and uncle while my grandfather went to another. It was very devastating for the family to be ripped apart. Aunt Pat and my grandfather developed a very strong bond after these events, a bond that lasted for a lifetime.

My "Kankad' his mom and sister Pat

I love how she is holding her brother's arm in this picture. She loved him so.

Later as adults, they were separated by geography when Aunt Pat moved to California with her husband Bob. After some time, my grandfather found work in California and the two families moved in together. My mom has always talked fondly of their time living with Aunt Pat and Uncle Bob. My grandparents bought a house in Whittier while Pat and Bob moved a few hundred miles away to a small town in central California, Visalia.

Aunt Pat, My Gramie, My Mom and I think Unky ( he was the uncle who raised aunt P)

As I grew up, we often went to visit Aunt Pat and her boys. As I have shared before her sons were like brothers to my mom and were a huge part of our lives. I loved going to see their family and hang out in their small town. I spent many summer months with her and her husband uncle Bob. I always dreamed of someday going to live with Aunt Pat and going to college in Visalia after I got out of high school.

My Sister and I with Aunt Pat. Loved this weekend, I danced on her fireplace with those flowers singing Gloria

Auntie ''P'' as I called her worked as a aide at Redwood high school helping with ESL students who had emigrated from another country. She touched countless lives with her gentle spirit and kindness. She was one of the best listeners I have ever met. Always she had a ready ear, good advice and kind words.

Aunt Pat and I together.

She lived in her Birkenstocks, loved hamburgers and always had candy bars hidden away. She was a Type 1 diabetic who suffered greatly from the insidious disease. She had a very tough life but you would've never known that. She was essentially orphaned, lost all of her family members before she was fifty, buried a son and dealt with many other tough struggles in her life.

Yet, she always maintained a bright smile, a sense of humor like no other, always had a kind word and could make you feel like a thousand bucks.She was my hero, I looked up to her, revered her and loved her greatly. I even wrote an essay very similar to this blog on her during my senior year in high school, I gave it to her and she knew how I felt about her.

When I graduated high school, she gave me the pearls she wore when she graduated high school. I wore them in my senior picture and on my wedding day.

Eventually, I made the move to Visalia with my young family to live near her. For almost a year, I got to live near my aunt Pat and it was a dream come true. She was my rock during that time, the same time that saw her lose kidney function, end up on dialysis and lose both legs. I am so glad that I got to spend the last 12 months of her life with her and will never forget that precious time.

Conner in Aunt P's kitchen while she and I talk

Auntie P holding baby E

For years, I would often drive by her house and wish I could go in to see her. I have tried to honor her memory by loving her sons, trying to be the kind of person she was and loving God. My aunt Pat loved God and never gave up her faith even in darkness.

Auntie P was a rare gem, truly a wonderful lady. It has been 13 years since she's been gone yet she has never really felt far away at all. She lives on in my life, as I wrote this blog I could see her impact on my life in clearly defined imprints and I think you will too. Words could never bring her to life or do her justice, at least I could try to share a bit from this wonderful woman's life to inspire as she inspired me.

Aunt Pat loved all of her grandkids, great nieces and nephews!

When a Friend is Meant to Be: Happy Birthday LL Fancy

2013-03-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in your life, you just meet someone and immediately click. You don't know what the connection is or how it happened? it just happened. One year ago next month, I met a fabulous woman named Lindsey in the most random of way. Then months later realized, it wasn't so random at all. Sometimes a friend is just meant to be.

A year ago next month, my dear friend and chief sister of the heart asked me to come watch her run a marathon. It was a day that forever changed both of our lives in a major way and we didn't know it at the time. That day we met some ladies who asked a simple question, a question that led us to some wonderful ladies.

On Twitter two ladies invited my friend and I to be their guests at a special NKOTB event. We met two strangers and had the time of our lives. Lindsey and I met our tween hearthrob together for the very first time and cried tears of joy together. That first night, I sat with Lindsey and our friends in a hotel lobby and it was instant connection over a cup of tea.

A few phone chats and a couple of months later, Lindsey and her husband Rob met up with my family and I for dinner. It was such a wonderful moment and so special to our family that they took the time to see us.

Then we went to Hershey,Pa for a girls weekend that was truly one of the craziest times of my life. It was my first time doing such a thing and I couldn't have asked for better friends to do it with. Lindsey and I had so much fun that weekend and it is where she gained her nickname. Lindsey is English and always says, ''fancy'' when she does or doesn't want something. I kept asking her if she wanted something while eating and she kept saying, '' I don't fancy that.'' I will just leave the first L explanation at that is stands for ''Licking'' and the other L is for Lindsey. She became LL Fancy forever that weekend. I always have to nickname my friends and she now is stuck with that moniker.

We finally got our first picture with Joey Mac together. Truly a dream come true for both of us and it came true together. So special and exciting.

One of the most special moments of my life happened in a Cracker Barrell in PA. As Lindsey was leaving to catch her flight, she layed her head on my shoulder while hugging me fiercely and bawled. It was a moment that I will never forget. A moment of unspoken words and understanding that immediately bonded us as sisters.

A few months later, she and her husband Rob came to spend the weekend with my family. They wanted to see us before we left for Tennessee. They put up with my crazy dogs, kids, half packed house, snowman dishes and crazy work schedules. We went and explored the Sequoias together, ate dinner and shared many laughs. I love the way she and her husband are with my kids.

Sometimes you just meet someone and click. It is unexplainable to anyone on the outside and sometimes even you don't understand it yourself. In one moment Lindsey became a sister to me, an aunt to my kids and family. I truly feel undeserving of such a wonderful friend and feel like I could hardly be half the friend she is to me. She cries with me, something she rarely does on her own, she laughs with me, she listens to me and she loves my kids.

So thankful to have met you LL, you bring so much to my life. I truly am so thankful for your friendship and friendship to my family. It is hard to believe I've know you less than a year. Wishing you a happy birthday today, hoping today blesses you as much as you bless others.

Unpacked and Finding Our Way

2013-03-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

I have been so busy lately, there has been little time to be online,making phone calls or writing blogs other than birthday blogs. We are enjoying our new life in TN, everyday it becomes clear that we made the right choice to move. This is where we are supposed to be, there isn't a doubt about it.

Today that was all the more clear. We got up and drove twenty minutes in heavy rain to the University of Tennessee medical center. Normally we would've had to get up at four a.m. to drive 330 miles to Stanford for our 8 am appointment. We quickly arrived at the UT medical center and were blown away at the size of the campus. It is large with many buildings, we searched for parking and set out to find our destination.

Walking inside the hospital, we immediately were amazed. Very newly re-done and updated facilities, clean and bright. Stanford is large but very outdated and often dingy in places, so this was amazing to us. We got registered, labs done and then went to find the transplant clinic.

We were greeted by D whom I had spoken to last week on the phone. She was so friendly and personable, chatting our ear off immediately. She told us they are a family there and she knew it was hard for us to leave our Stanford family. They want us to feel welcome and like part of the family. WOW is all I can say to that, it was so comforting and nice.

We loved all the staff we met today. As you all know, we loved our surgeons at Stanford and were very fond of them. The surgeon we met today was very young, very friendly and personable. He listened to us,asked questions and told Marty " it was nice to meet you, I want you to go out and live your life."

To have quality care close to home is amazing to us. A couple of days ago, I met someone in the marketing department of the hospital at work. She wanted me to call her after our visit and wants to make sure we are happy there. I am sure she had a hand in our warm welcome today.

It took us twenty minutes to drive home. No more 660 miles round trip to see the doctor, no more worries if something happens we won't have top of the line care. We have a team of transplant physicians that can care for Marty full time now. It was one of the major factors that was behind our decision to move. When Marty was on the wait list for transplant, we would hear stories of people in the south waiting 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 weeks and so on. The average wait time in California is seven years, the average wait time here is under two years. It was hearing that during our wait time that helped us start looking to moving to the south.

We are living life finally. After Marty's transplant, we were able to live but had this huge decision weighing on us. Now we are free of those weights, we can fully live life and enjoy it. Settling in has gone fairly smoothly, we've had lots of help from friends, really just two more major items on the to-do list and we will be completely settled.

The kids have found a youth group on Wednesday evenings to meet with and are really enjoying it. We haven't been able to meet up with the homeschool support group yet. Hopefully soon we can meet some other homeschooled kids in our area.

I love my new job at Fig, it is nice helping my friends with their store. I am really enjoying the challenge and learning something new. I have also been busy in the evenings working on learning Wordpress for my first client for Julesmpg Social Media. It has really been a huge challenge that is pushing me beyond my comfort zone. That is a whole other blog in itself.

Everyone keeps saying they can sense my peace, they can sense that I am lighter and happier. It is true, having overcome so many challenges in the last several years, I do peace. Knowing we are living our dream, following God and starting anew is a wonderful feeling. Like the doctor said, we are getting out and living life!

If I am quiet, don't worry, I am just a text,DM, phone call or email away. I haven't been able to be online much for myself since I am busy working online for others. Please don't hesitate to shoot me a message, I will always get back to you.

As Auntie Mame says, " Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. Live! Live! Live!'' I am off to live!

PS the doctors are still pouring over Marty's records from Stanford which weren't faxed ahead of time like they ought to have been. URGH! But the bloodwork today looked good and they are still waiting on one lab to come back.

Happy Birthday Cousin Series: Happy Birthday Ben!

2013-03-03T05:44:00.001-08:00

Second to the last in the series is lucky number 11, Ben. He is the second boy in the gaggle of girls and our grandpa's namesake. Ben has a hefty weight on his shoulders being the only grandson with the Brown name. I remember the excitement when he was born, another boy to add to the mix. Three grandsons out of fourteen grandchildren isn't many, so the boys were always special to all of us!

Ben was a rambunctious little boy, always into something and on the go. I remember him always with a scrape on his eye or some story of him doing something crazy. He was our little Bart Simpson of the family, cute blonde but a handful.

What a face!!!

Ben lived far away and we only got to see him every once in awhile. I never will forget the many trips to visit his family in Arizona. We always would go to the London Bridge and hang out. Ben and Lacey would give me tours of their house and room.

As time passed Ben grew into a quiet young man of few words. Our Grandpa was a man of few words himself. I think it is so fitting that he is quiet like our Gramps, he may look like his other grandpa but his personality is that of our Gramps.

A few years ago, Ben stayed behind to work and live on his own in Arizona while his parents moved to TN.I was so impressed that he stayed and lived on his own with his sister.

He eventually followed his family to TN. He and his sister Lacey have both acclimated so well. Ben is a hard working young man who has even bought his first house already. He is polite and friendly, I just love listening to his TN twang. I look forward to knowing him better now that we are living in the same state.

Happy birthday Ben! I hope you have a great day filled with happiness and joy! Thankful to have such a great cousin to know. I look forward to knowing you better as the years go on.

Wordless Wednesday: A Great Uncle, Two Generations and Counting

2013-02-27T07:14:00.000-08:00

Guest Blog: An Act of Kindness in a Dark Time

2013-02-26T06:51:00.000-08:00

Right before I moved, one of my friends approached me with this guest blog for Just Jules. I love sharing stories that are important to my friends especially stories of difficulties overcome. This friend wishes to remain anonymous but wanted to share a story about a difficult time in their life. It is a story that I think most of us can relate to in some way. I can relate to losing beloved grandparents close together and experiencing an "annus horribilis'' This friend needed to get it out and let it go, I think we all can understand that. Here is their story:

The year 2011 was the worst of year of my life and that’s saying something because I’ve had some pretty bad years. There was lots of death (three of my pets and both of my remaining Grandparents), some people who I thought were good friends turned out to be not such good friends, the renter (also a friend who I trusted completely) of my house in a different state moved out after trashing the house and stealing everything he could from it, everybody’s hours were cut at work (that’s significant when you’re single and have one of those careers that does little more than allow you to pay the basic bills every month).

I had to have my house exterminated for termites, police were called (on me), lawyers were consulted, and it seems that just about everything that could break, did breakàmy furnace, my tv, my bike, my lawn mower, my weed wacker, my car (multiple times), my kitchen sink……so pretty much everything INCLUDING the kitchen sink.

The repercussions, ripple effects, and stress of all that happened in 2011 (the above and more) lasted long into 2012, and the anniversaries of the major events (most of which happened towards the end of 2011) hit me a lot harder than expected. As a result, I begin 2013 struggling to move forward and to find some meaning and/or good in anything. There was so much badness that I tend to forget there were some positive things that also happened in 2011, and I’ve recently begun wondering (not for the first time) why the negative always seems to outweigh the positive? why do we put more emphasis on the negative rather than the positive?

Some of the positives were small, like how my mom and step-father bought a new tv and gave me their old one during the time my hours were cut and it was out of the question for me to buy one myself (first world problem, I know—I don’t have cable/satellite, but do use the tv to watch movies while riding my bike on my indoor trainer, one of the few things that allows me to keep my sanity during the frigid winter months), but there were two big positives that occurred in the midst of all the negatives. Both of these were a surprise, and both have allowed me to not totally give up on people in general. One involved my sister-in-law, who I did not know well before 2011 but who I would now take a bullet for, and the other involved my Grandparents’ funeral director, Mr. Kulik, who I had never met before my Grandmother died in October 2011.

It’s Mr. Kulik’s act of kindness towards me, a stranger that I’d like to share:

A little background: My paternal Grandparents were 87 years old, married for 65 years, died within 6 weeks of each other, and had pre-arranged a joint funeral. My Grandfather had two passions in life: his family and the Navy (he was an extremely proud WWII and Korean War veteran). He and my Grandmother had one child, I will call him T, who is my father by biology only. My parents divorced when I was two, and, along with always being behind in child support payments, T showed little interest in both his children, especially me, from the divorce on. I attempted throughout my teenage years and early twenties to establish a father/daughter relationship with him until I realized how futile it was, as he was interested only in himself.

He popped up again in my mid-thirties when my brother lived with him and his third wife for a few years. I had come to realize that T fit the description of a narcissist to near perfection, but I really liked his third wife and thought that maybe he would change a bit with her guidance. If anything, he got worse and also became an alcoholic, and his third wife divorced him after becoming afraid of him.

At that point I wrote him out of my life completely as he would never admit he had any faults whatsoever, he honestly believes the world and everyone in it owes him everything. This is someone who has rarely ever held a job, preferring instead to live off whatever woman he had fooled until that woman was fooled no more, someone who spent years at a time not speaking to his parents because they “wronged him” in some way, and someone who thinks that his only responsibility in life is to sit back and reap the benefits of what others sow.

At the end of 2009 I moved home, after living out of state for 5 years, to take care of my aging Grandparents. T hadn’t been speaking to them for a few years and my brother could only do so much. When my Grandmother was diagnosed with COPD after spending a few weeks in the hospital on a ventilator, T came back into the picture, not out of concern and willingness to help, but as a shark circling in bloody waters, knowing that his inheritance now wasn’t far away. He appeared at their house occasionally and would berate them if they asked him to do anything for them. More often than not he would not show up when my Grandparents called him for help.

He more than once stormed out of my Grandmother’s hospital room in a huff during the last few months of her life, once leaving his soon-to-be fourth wife stranded there. His last words to his father, who at the time was laying in a hospital bed in the ER, were “Don’t ever call me again!”, to which my Grandfather replied, “I didn’t call you this time!”. My Grandfather passed away eight hours later. And when he was called by the hospital when my Grandfather died because their computers were down and they couldn’t access my phone number (I was his power of attorney and contact person), Tim flat-out refused to give them my number and told them that no one would be in to view the body.

I am being very polite when I say that I strongly, STRONGLY dislike him.

My Grandfather died on a Sunday morning; the very next day he had an appointment set up with his attorney to change his will and make me the executor, instead of T. My brother and I spent the week going back and forth with Mr. Kulik, because even though the funeral was pre-arranged, there were still some details to be sorted out that we wanted and deserved to take part in. Mr. Kulik was also separately in touch with T throughout the week, since he was executor and had the final say in the arrangements.

I felt bad about the awkward situation, but figured we were just another of many messed up families to come through his doors. I never spoke to him about it, but Mr. Kulik obviously knew something was amiss, as I was the one who identified my Grandfather’s body (because T refused to do it), I was the one who informed Mr. Kulik that my Grandparents already had a headstone (after T told him to just go ahead and order the free military headstone), and since T refused to allow my brother’s and my names to be put in the obituary (we were to be listed, per T, as “two grandchildren” under “survived by”).

At some point before the funeral, my brother and I realized that T, as next-of-kin, was to be the one who received the military flag. This upset both of us deeply and I know it would have upset my Grandfather, who was completely fed up with his only child by the end of his life. After many phone calls and some research, I determined that a second flag was allowed to be presented at the funeral as long as it was purchased by us. I bought a flag, spoke with Mr. Kulik, and arranged for the 2^nd flag to be presented to me.

The day of the funeral arrived and shortly before the graveside service began, T noticed that Mr. Kulik’s assistant was holding two flags. After he inquired why, he instructed her in no uncertain terms that only one flag was to be presented, and it was to be presented to him. My sister-in-law, who had become my rock throughout everything, found out and wanted to correct this before the service started. It broke my heart, but I told her to just let it go because I didn’t want to put this poor assistant in the middle, and I didn’t want there to be a scene caused.

Sadly, the most important thing was that after the service I would never have to see T again. A few minutes after the service began, a car pulled up and parked a little ways down from the graveside, and out came Mr. Kulik. I distinctly remember thinking “Wow, that’s really nice of him to attend even though he has an assistant here”, and didn’t think any more of it, focusing instead on trying to stop crying because I was already running low on tissues. Turns out Mr. Kulik’s assistant called him, probably in a panic over what she should do, and he came right over and made sure I got my flag presented to me by the military color guard. And not only did he do that, he stayed for the entire service and then afterwards dug through the grass himself to find and give to me 3 shell casings, which are also presented with the flag (which I didn’t get because I got an “extra” flag) and Mr. Kulik also made sure my brother and I were listed by name in the obituary.

It wasn’t until a week or so later, when the smoke cleared and things calmed down a bit, that I truly understood and appreciated what Mr. Kulik did that day (and with the obituary). I thought that, in his eyes, we were just another dysfunctional family to be dealt with. I was convinced that he rolled his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief every time we left his funeral home and he was able to shut the door behind us, but in reality he was processing everything that was said and done, not just by me and my brother but also by T, and he knew who the good guys and the bad guys were in this story.

In a world in which athletes, actors, and reality stars are the heroes to many, in my view Mr. Kulik may as well have ridden up to the graveside that day on a powerful, white steed. He didn’t risk life and limb, but he certainly risked the wrath of T and a potential lawsuit in order to right an impending wrong. He didn’t need to do that; the funeral was prepaid and I was not the executor, so he owed me nothing. I am humbled to this day that he thought that that one detail was important enough to correct, and to oversee it personally, when there could have been negative consequences involved for him and his business.

Aside from the day my Grandmother died, I only ever saw my Grandfather speechless and with tears in his eyes once, and that was when I presented him with a certificate stating that I had made a donation to the WWII Memorial fund in honor of him for his birthday. I have no doubt that he would have had the same reaction to me receiving a flag at his funeral, and even though Mr. Kulik knew no specifics, he somehow did know how important that flag was to me.

Occasionally I wonder what makes a person want to become a funeral director and deal with dead bodies and crying people all the time. Maybe not all funeral directors are the same, but Mr. Kulik made me realize it’s not just about the deceased, and maybe even not primarily about the deceased, but it’s about those who are left behind; making sure that those who loved the deceased are able to honor them and say goodbye in the best way possible. Despite the best efforts of a very bad person, Mr. Kulik allowed me to do that, and for that he will always be a hero to me. I choose to focus on the amazing act of kindness he showed to me, a stranger, rather than the negativity that my own father chooses to perpetuate. And I hope with all my heart that Mr. Kulik feels as good about what he did that day as I do.