This, That, and The Other

I'm going to DisneyWorld!

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:02:00 +0000

No, I didn't win the Super Bowl or the World Series. So why do I sound like one of those Gatorade-drenched sports guys?

Cause I AM going to Disney World! The Magic Kingdom. Maybe Disney Studios. And then to Universal. We are doing the whole Orlando tourist bit. :-)

My parents took me to Disney World opening week. And they tell me that when we arrived at the gates of the Magic Kingdom, I just stood there and froze. I did not believe it was real. They had to physically move me past the gates!

Now, lots of years later, when FastPasses have replaced E-tickets, and the lone Magic Kingdom has been joined by three other parks, and instead of going with my parents, I go AS a parent, I am just as excited as I was as a little girl on that very first visit.

My kids tease me about me still being a little kid. I respond by holding up four fingers and confirming that I am indeed, "This many." Going back to Disney World gives me a chance to once again be that little girl who stood amazed at the front gates of a magical kingdom.

So if you happen to be going into WDW in a couple of weeks, and you see a woman standing in front of the main gates to the Magic Kingdom, just staring in amazement, you'll know I've made it back. Sometimes it's great to be "This many."

Loving a person vs looking for a clone

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:28:00 +0000

Open letter to a friend:

The question was about love, and loving someone who was, in some ways, your perfect match, and in other ways, very different from yourself.

You love her, and yet you ended the relationship because she did not share all of your beliefs. You admit that it was the best relationship you've ever had, or believe you ever will have, and yet, you said goodbye?

I'm afraid you're confusing a clone with a partner.

A clone is exactly the same. A partner shares some aspects of your life, and differs in others.

A clone never challenges you to grow or change or question. A partner brings into the relationship new ideas, new thoughts, new vitality.

A clone can never really make the choice to love you because they are, essentially, already you. A partner makes a conscious choice to say "I love you for the things we share, and I love you for the things that make you unique and different."

A clone is the ultimate "yes man." A partner is the person who will stand by your side even when the answer is no.

A clone feeds your ego, because they already agree with everything you think. A partner is someone you love regardless of whether or not they agree with you, because it's not about feeding an ego.

To fit together and make a beautiful picture, a puzzle needs pieces of different sizes and shapes, different colors. Two pieces that are identical make one of them unnecessary.

She clearly was not looking for a clone, a duplicate puzzle piece in male form. She was happy loving a whole man who in some ways is very different from herself. And loving him, not IN SPITE OF the difference, but because of them and the way that the differences and similarities in your lives came together to make a truly magnificent picture.

Clones are relatively easy to find. There are countless chameleons among us, especially among women, who will pretend to be whatever a man wants her to be.

But real love? THAT is rare and precious and a gift beyond all measure. And I believe the very universe weeps when someone throws it away.

You clearly love her. She clearly loves you. The rest is just detail.

(Image from Sarah-land)

My Celtic Zodiac

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:55:00 +0000

I'm not big on astrology, but this is exceptionally accurate...cool!

The Willow

Apr. 15 - May 12 If you are a Willow sign, you are ruled by the moon, and so your personality holds hands with many of the mystical aspects of the lunar realm. This means you are highly creative, intuitive (highly psychic people are born under the sign of the Willow) and intelligent. You have a keen understanding of cycles, and you inherently know that every situation has a season. This gives you a realistic perspective of things, and also causes you to be more patient than most tree signs. With your intelligence comes a natural ability to retain knowledge and you often impress your company with the ability to expound on subjects from memory. Willow Celtic tree astrology signs are bursting with potential, but have a tendency to hold themselves back for fear of appearing flamboyant or overindulgent. It is your powers of perception that ultimately allow your true nature to shine, and what leads you to success in life. Willow signs join well with the Birch and the Ivy. Sign: Willow Tree (Saille) Symbol: The Sea - Serpent Ruling Planet: The Moon - Llun Celtic Gods: Ceridwen, Morrigan, Morgan le Fay

Top 5 Stupid Things Too Many People Believe

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:49:00 +0000

5) Having a Diet Coke with your Whopper "balances it out"

There is no such thing as "balancing" calories...an 1800 calorie, high fat, high sodium meal is still just as bad for you with a zero calorie soda. And some research is finding that artificial sweeteners encourge fat retention and boost hunger!

4) Lots of homework means kids are learning more and the teacher is better

The fact is, there is no correlation between academic quality and homework. Teachers who give lots of homework may in fact be passing the bulk of the work off onto parents. Some countries have banned homework entirely, and have seen test scores rise.

3) Parents can do one thing and tell their kids to do another, and the kids will listen.

Kids learn behavior from three things: what parents do, what peers do, and what other significant adults in their life do. What is said carries almost no weight when it conflicts with observable behavior. So parents, save your words, and watch your deeds!

2) Real love does not require work

Ask all of the married people who complain about dates that vanished after the wedding, sweet words and romantic cards that disappeared once the "I do" was said. Even more than money, lack of attention to the relationship and one's spouse is the number one complaint of married women and men.

1) Pressing the elevator button more times (or harder) makes the elevator come faster

You've done it. Does it work? Enough said!

Flying flags or taking action - which matters more?

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:13:00 +0000

The week has raced by.

My last post was about Shabbas plans, good food, guests, time focusing on those I love. And it seems that I barely blinked and it's a week later.

It's been a good week. Busy with family and friends. Lots accomplished at work. I'm tired. Not feeling 100%. But I'm here. And that, as Martha S. is wont to say, is a good thing.

I've been thinking a lot about this September 11th thing. Got a ton of e-mails telling me to hang a flag. And that bothers me. I am so proud of the brave firefighters and police officers who risk their lives every day to save the rest of us from horrible situations. Firefighters hold a very special place in my heart, as some of you know. So the idea that just hanging a flag up was a suitable way to honor them really and truly bothered me. They deserve so much more.

I responded to a few of the e-mails...and this is some of what I wrote.

Sorry. Flag waving and wrapping oneself in the flag are empty gestures to me. I will never see that a proof of anything valuable. I honor the firefighters and police officers, but hanging pieces of cloth seems to me a meaningless choice. Getting out and honoring their memory by fighting for our freedoms -- not with guns and rockets, but with the courts and the press and the ballot -- is a much more appropriate tribute to all they gave.

A flag is a piece of cloth. Hanging it is easy. If you want to show/promote real patriotism, get out and reclaim the rights and freedoms stolen by the previous administration. Work for the repeal of the so-called Patriot Act laws. Work to disband Big Brother. Fight surveillance on ordinary citizens, demand prosecution for elected leaders and government officials who engaged in wiretaps and warrant-less searches and fear-mongering.

Forget hanging flags. Be a patriot and reclaim your country. Those who died trying to save others deserve that from you.

If political action isn't your forte, use today to go out sign up to feed hungry children, take steps to help a homeless person get back on their feet, get out your garden tools and beautify an abandoned city lot, or go to a hospice and hold someone's hand. Or just start by saying thank you to a firefighter or police officer.

The weekend ahead

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:25:00 +0000

What a wonderful weekend...

Tonight:

Shabbas services
Shabbas dinner with three very special people (Nicholas, I wish you were down here, too...that would make it complete!)

Tomorrow:

Torah class
Shabbas lunch --- we are having 5 guests this week!

The menu is:

Cucumber tea sandwiches
Herbed yogurt cheese and Italian bread
My version of cholent -- Moroccan veggie "chicken" stew (vegan, actually)
Lemon cake

Tomorrow night:

Gary's party

Sunday and Monday? Time with loved ones, so the what is far less important than the who.

And in there, somewhere, some rest time!! Some much needed rest time!

Brittany Spears and Tweens

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:48:00 +0000

My daughters, age 18 and 11 went to the Britney Spears Circus concert last night.

On the drive home, my 11 year old was telling us about the transvestite performers and a dance number in which the male dancers striped down to pink and blue camo underwear. YIKES!

I thought there was no real issue with the girls going to the concert, because she is a girl, too. So her costumes would not be an issue.

I never thought about stripping male dancers and transvestites.

Over all, my little one liked the circus performers (ala Cirque du Sole) most, and Britney's music second best...but still. Maybe not my best parenting decision. But not the worst...oh well.

They had a good time, and loved going...a great night for them :-) Lance, you are their hero this a.m. :-)

The holiday are coming!

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:36:00 +0000

For me, the big ones are the High Holidays (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), then Sukkot, then Halloween, two birthdays, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, another birthday and the New Year.

The High Holidays mean deep introspection, sweet honey and apples, long services, a the wonderful taste of a meal after a long fast

Sukkot...hoping to build a nice Sukkah this year. Spent some time today looking up plans! And I already have the decorations in my head...hope the weather is cool!

Halloween...can't do much at my place outside, oh, but indoors!!! Now where did I put that giant spider???? And then there is the 2nd annual trip to Universal for their Halloween Horrors event!

Birthdays...two...my daughter Nov 7th, my son Nov 8th. Gift ideas....hmmmm.

Thanksgiving...going away! Always good for Thanksgiving...maybe even some really cool weather!

Hanukkah...need to get into the storage unit and get out all the Hannukiot. Time for them to all shine again!

Birthday...my littlest one. Time is flying!

New Year's Eve...can it really be that close to 2010?

What are your holidays coming up? What makes them special? I would love to hear about them all!

New friends, old friends, real friends, pseudo friends

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:48:00 +0000

Okay, so it's not Dr. Seuss, because I doubt any of his books contained the term "pseudo" but the idea is the same. And this is my book! So pseudo remains.

I see a stack of people...old friends who have been a part of my life for so long, forming the base. New friends added to them. All of those as a real friends, all sparkling, golden, precious.

And then there are the pseudo friends. Not false friends. That is something that wouldn't even be in my book. But not really part of that wonderful group that glitters with love and caring. More like acquaintances. Potential friends -- some of them, to be sure. But others destined to remain outside of the circle -- familiar names, recognizable faces. But not the people we would call to share the big news, the small accomplishments, the secret fears or the maybe-too-silly dreams.

And yet they belong in my book. A hug, a shared laugh, some time over a lunch or a cup of tea. A friendly face in a crowd. A shared day at some public event or mutual friend's party.

A part of the blessings. Just not part of the stack...yet.

Words from the Talmud on Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:32:00 +0000

It seems that some of these get overlooked in the rush to construct or discern new rules or more details about daily activities. So I thought a little reminder might be in order for all of us.

If today was your last day...

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:38:00 +0000

Watch and listen to this Nickelback video.

Now answer this....

If this was it...end of the line...would today have been good enough?

Did you share your love with those who matter most to you?

Did you help a stranger with no thought about reward or even whether or not they deserved to be helped?

Did you smile at someone who was frowning and watch a smile form on their face?

Did you meet someone new?

Did you learn something?

Did you call someone far away who needs to hear your voice?

Did you pray and thank G-d for the morning, always aware that it is a gift and not a given?

Disney day

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:17:00 +0000

We went to Disney...my favorite place on earth! We rode the rides and watched the parade and planned another trip with the kids along.

We held hands and compared memories of visits there when we were little. I wondered if we had ever been in the park together, and not met -- not yet time. Or maybe rode a ride together and never knew we would meet again years later. In Disney World, anything seems possible.

Disney worked its magic. Lance snapped this beautiful shot of Cinderella's abode as the sun faded. We ended the day watching the fireworks over the castle, and dreaming about future visits together.

And although I saw some rough edges this time -- some rides in need of updates, some technology lagging behind competitors like Universal -- I still would not trade this place for any on earth. It is and always will be the Magic Kingdom for me. And now I have a prince to share it with. :-)

What I Need

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:13:00 +0000

One of the benefits of passing years is learning to separate what I want from what I need. Although I am still not 100% there, and sometimes confuse the two (especially when really beautiful shoes are involved,) I am doing much better these days at making that distinction. Here is my current Top Five list of needs and wants...I'd love to see your Top Five or Ten for each.

NEEDS

1) A new car. Mine is on it's very last legs and is patched together.

2) More time for myself. I get run down and burned out really quickly when I don't have alone time. It's been scarce lately, and although I love my job and my after hours activities, I need to schedule in Lindsay time to stay on track and healthy

3) Some new jeans Gotta feel just right!

4) Stability in my personal life.

5) More time in the gym

Now for the wants....

WANTS

1) A whole new shoe wardrobe

2) Two or three new purses

3) A sectional couch

4) Time to scrapbook

5) A real vacation

Your turn...what are your wants and needs, and is it hard to tell which is which sometimes?

A post from one of my other blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:13:00 +0000

This is from one of my now abandoned blogs....I am posting it here, because it was an important life lesson I would like to share.

Thursday, September 4, 2008
Mountains

When I moved to the Rockies years ago, I arrived at night. The flight into Salt Lake City dropped down on what would over the next few years become a familiar, stomach-testing approach into an airport that sat deep in a valley. In the darkness and the rush to gather baggage and get to a hotel, I could not really see the mountains. Although the pilots who had landed my plane knew they were there, and knew how to maneuver down safety between the ranges of the Wasatch on the East and the Uintahs on the West, they remained invisible to me.

In the morning, I walked outside to go get breakfast and stopped cold. I was completely surrounded by mountains. Although the closest ones were probably 10 miles away, their size and unexpected presence felt enclosing. A Florida flat-lander stood, mostly in awe, but a little in fear. What had I done?

Looking back, those mountains and my reaction to them was more than just a change in geography. It was the first real leap into a new world. And my first encounter with that feeling of enclosure and awe and what have I done...

That feeling has come back to me again and again, as I've moved into my life. And for awhile, my reaction was the same. Fear. Awe. Even panic. But I've learned something from that mountain experience.

Over the years in the Rockies, I learned to feel less overwhelmed by those mountains and all the others I lived among. I went back to Florida and drove my car, alone, across the country from South Florida to Utah. In the course of the drive, over switchbacks and steep climbs, I learned to see the mountains better.

Then there were days spent walking on the mountains, feeling their shape and strength and substance for myself, whether through the soles of my favorite purple hiking boots or barefoot in an icy mountain stream. I don't think I ever lost my awe...they remained beautiful, especially when the rising or setting sun painted them in a dozen different colors. But I lost my fear. I stopped being shocked to see the mountains when I stepped outside. They became accessible.

I am learning to apply that lesson to my life.

When new things happen in my life...things just as sudden and scary and enclosing as that early morning view of the mountains, I still get scared. And I wonder what I have done. And I see how close the danger seems to be.

In those times, I try to imagine the mountains. I try to remember that moment in the hotel parking lot, and the very different feeling I had years later walking in the same mountains on a cold winter day shooting roll after roll of winter photography. Same mountain. Different world.

Posted by Seeker at 5:28 AM

Labels: colorado, life lessons, lindsay39, mountains, rockies, salt lake city, utah

Class reunions, old friends and changing roles

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:35:00 +0000

This past weekend was my high school class reunion. And as I sit here looking through hundreds of photos of people I have known well for most of my life, people I knew well for only a year or two before we went our separate ways and people I knew only by name or sight, I have some thoughts to share.

The people who knew us when we were growing into our skins, so to speak, have a preciousness (is that a word?) that no one else in our lives can match. We can meet someone at 25 and be friends with them for the rest of our lives, and yet it cannot match spending a few hours with someone who was there as we journeyed from childhood to adulthood.

People who intimidated us in high school because they seemed more together or smarter or prettier or more talented become equals later in life when the bumps and struggles and lessons of life have evened the playing field. And among those who we most envied, we may find a friend who will confess that the feeling was mutual.

The things that mattered so very, very much in high school, like being thin enough or having perfect hair or wearing the perfect dress fall away, as you hug and catch up and share a laugh over an old photo or a tear over the news that a classmate has passed away far too soon (R.I.P Steve Flanagan.)

Being with people who knew you then, and still remember your name is one of the greatest gifts I've received lately.

Counting my blessings, sorting through the photos and looking forward to the next one in 10 years. May we all be well, all be smiling and all be present.

G-d laws, people's laws

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:46:00 +0000

The girl's name Tara \t(a)-ra\ is pronounced TAH-rah. It is of Gaelic and Sanskrit origin, and its meaning is "hill; star". Ancient Tara was the site of the "stone of destiny" on which Irish kings resided

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a big building, like an airplane hanger. The doors were open wide, and the room was empty except for a small Lucite cube in the middle of the room. I was there with someone named Tara.

She pointed to the box, a crystal clear square, about 2 feet across (so about 8 cubic feet in volume, so quite small in such a large and essentially open air space) and said "These are man's laws."

Then she gestured around us, and said. "These are G-d's laws."

There was nothing else to the dream that I recall, but the image and the words are fresh in my mind. So what does it mean?

So often, we think of G-d's laws as something we must contain within a box...a structure, a set of walls or a book. And the rules and laws of people surround the true core -- so we strive to protect G-d's laws from human changes. We build up lists of rules and fences and such, in a belief that we as people must DO something.

But this dream was saying quite the opposite. G-d's laws require little structure or containment. Yes, the hanger offered a roof, but it was far, far above. And with the big doors open, there was little enclosure. Almost none, in fact. They simply "are." Everywhere.

And G-d's laws were safe, not because we boxed in G-d, but because G-d's laws surrounded and contained and so completely outdid whatever little man tried to do. All our fuss was little more than a small box in the middle of a vast and open space.

I looked up the meaning of the name Tara...the site of the "stone of destiny." I don't know anyone named Tara...so the meaning intrigues me. My destiny? Or just a coincidence?

Another meaning was also suggested, since I heard rather than saw the name: Terra.

The girl's name Terra \t(er)-ra\ is pronounced TARE-ah. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "Earth". Mythology: the Roman earth goddess, equivalent to the Greek Gaia.

My experience of the creator is solidly female. Mother Earth. The Creator as the birth-giver/life-giver. Terra or Tara...I am captured by this dream.

Any thoughts?

Love in action: cooking

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:51:00 +0000

Some random thoughts about cooking as an act of love.

On my vision board from a couple of years ago, there was a quote snipped from a magazine: Remember the sacred art of nourishing. I try to always keep that in mind as I plan for, shop for and cook meals.
My friend Omar always says that he cooks with love. And it's true. Each and every dish he makes is infused with love. You can actually feel it.
A Buddhist nun in Salt Lake City, Utah told me that your feelings affect the health and nutrition of the food you cook. If you are feeling grumpy or angry or sad, she said it's best to stay out of the kitchen because those emotions will affect the food and those who eat it.

Tonight I am cooking dinner. On the menu, there will be a homemade arrabiata sauce with sauteed eggplant. A fresh green salad, with baby greens, sliced fruit and nuts. For dessert, chilled peaches, maybe even with kasiri cheese if I get to Whole Foods in time. And in each dish, there will be love.

Into the moment....

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:15:00 +0000

On Sunday, I went to the Jazz Brunch by the water in Fort Lauderdale. I had posted this on Facebook nearly a month ago, so it was on my calendar and well planned. On Sunday at just after 9 a.m., we were there, sitting in a beautiful spot under a tree, right by the water, watching boats going by, talking, relaxing, waiting for the music. All part of the plan.

The music started, we sat back and listened and started on our picnic brunch. Peaches so juicy it took two or three napkins each to deal with sticky hands and juice-soaked chins. Cheeses. French bread. Nuts and dried fruit. Yogurt. Ice-cold bottles of water. A good book at hand. Music. A breeze. What more could we want?

Then a friend came by with some friends of his. Would we like to join them for lunch? We had our lunch with us -- had been eating. So why would we go? But then they said, just come for drinks...and why not? A few minutes out of the sun. A few minutes away from our plans. No problem. So we went. And we sipped iced tea and other cool drinks. And we talked. And the friends of the friend went from strangers to people we connected with. A couple that lives just down the street from me. Another who graduated from the same university. People with common interests and goals. Families with kids at home or at college who shared birth years or majors.

The guise of strangers fell away as connections were added to connections. The few minutes planned stretched into an hour.

"Do you want to go out on the boat with us?"

For a brief moment, the thought crossed my mind...what about the jazz? The plans? But the offer of a sunny afternoon on the water quickly won out. We walked back to our space under that shady tree and packed up books and brunch and blankets and headed for the boat.

On-board, the one hour sail tuned into 3 or more. Strangers no more, I chatted with women and men who I had never met before that afternoon -- how could it be? They felt like friends! What a treat this day had become!

In the middle of the fun and laughs and great conversations, I stepped back from the moment and thought about the day. It had begun amid plans. Good plans. But the offer of new directions and new friends had drawn us away from those plans and into the unexpected.

And I realized that this wonderful day held a great message for my life.

I had planned. Prepared. I had the things I needed for the day at hand. I had direction. But I also accepted the offer of positive change, and shifted plans to accommodate the new opportunities. Easy to do when the choices are among jazz by the water, lunch and an afternoon on the water. Now the trick will be to remember that lesson in life when the choices aren't quite so delightful.

Plan.
Prepare.
Prepare to change.

Working on it!

Dreaming, dreaming, dreaming!!

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:21:00 +0000

Dreaming of traveling with someone special to places familiar and well loved like Key West and California, and places yet uncharted in my life so far (ok, in THIS lifetime) like Russia and Egypt and Samoa.

Dreaming of more days and evenings with friends like last week's trip into the waters off Key Largo, Teresa's birthday party, annual visits to friends in PA. (almost Ren Faire time again!),last night's dinner at Seasons 52, or the upcoming tubing trip in North Florida.

Dreaming of publishing books written and books yet to write.

Dreaming of love and family and holding hands (and hearts) for years and years to come.

Dreaming of sharing my Shabbas table with guests who have shared meals with me before, and those I have yet to meet.

Dreaming, dreaming, dreaming...on a rainy Florida morning.

(rain on grass image from Tingog.com)

A day at sea, a dance on the deck

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:51:00 +0000

We need balance in our lives. Not just want it, or think it might be a good idea, but need it.

We need to learn, grow and develop our spiritual muscles. We need to pray and study.

And we need to spend an entire day playing in the water like kids, then dance under the starlight on an otherwise empty dance floor.

We need safety and we need to close our eyes a take that big leap of faith.

We need time alone on a Shabbas afternoon to think and grow, and we need time with friends around a big noisy table in a waterside dive bar in the Keys.

We need to float on top of the water and take in the view.

And we need to dive down deep, and almost reach another world.

Saturday afternoon, I meditated on some wonderful ideas, amid the peace of Shabbas. Yesterday, I spent the entire day on a boat or in the water about 10 miles off the Florida Keys...and I finally understood balance. A life lesson amid a day of fun and love and friendship. Not bad for a weekend!

Discovery

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:03:00 +0000

I think I'm a pretty observant person. And yet, I am wondering, because I have noticed a few things lately that it sure seems I should have noticed before. Like:

1) You can be a certain religion your whole life and not really know that religion at all. You can think you do, believe you do, say you do, but in reality, you are darn near clueless.

2) You can know someone for a long time, think you know them, and then one day look up and see them for the very first time. A friend, a family member, a neighbor. In an instant, they become someone new.

3) You can think you know what you like to do and do not like to do, and then one day you realize that you are doing and really, really enjoying a whole bunch of things that were previously on your "don't like to do" list.

This is my brain
This is my brain on awareness.

Pretty cool.

The view from the air

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:17:00 +0000

As I was answering a heartfelt e-mail last night, I had a sudden thought.

What if we could see our lives from the air? What if, instead of a mass of incomprehensible twists and turns and detours, we could take off in our spiritual Piper Cub, and look down on the pattern from above?

What would we think of the pattern?

Would we be able to see where we took the wrong fork in the road, and know which way to turn around once we landed? Would we see the bright fields of flowers we've left in our wake, even though we never knew we were sowing the seeds?

Is it possible that we would see that that some of the "mistakes" we thought we made actually protected us from something worse? Would we see where other people's paths cross our own, and our path intersects theirs?

What would it be like to see the picture we're creating with our lives?

Contrast

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 11:37:00 +0000

After days of scorching dry heat and blindly bright sun, I woke up to steely grey skies this morning.

The palm tree fronds are sage tinted in this light, and the air is heavy with the rain that will soon follow. A welcome change.

The contrast is beautiful.

I slept only a few hours last night, but I slept well...happy. Content. A contrast to months earlier when the few hours sleep I got were punctuated with bad dreams and suddenly moments of panicked awakening.

And I realized that it is the change from one experience to another that's making the sweet moments so sweet. The contrast from sunshine to shade. From pain and despair to happiness and hope.

The Rabbi teaching my class recently explained that there are two kinds of miracles in the world. One, easy to recognize, is when G-d steps in and makes something big happen. An against-all-odds recovery, or an unexplainable moment where the inevitable is somehow pushed aside.

But then there are all the other miracles that we call daily life. A rainbow. Food growing in a field. A rainstorm. Things we could and do easily overlook as "just normal." The purpose of study, and of the brachas (blessings) is to make us aware of how all of life is actually a series of miracles. Since we learned that, I have been struck by the miraculous among the mundane.

Today I awoke to another aspect of that. The miracle of contrast. The gift of appreciation we receive when we move from sadness or fear to joy. And even more telling, how sometimes even the move from what looks brighter (sunshine) to an impending storm can be a cause for prayers of thanks.

A Friday Five on Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:13:00 +0000

Revisiting my old blogging friends, I came across the Friday Five from the RevGal Blog. Okay, so I'm a little late, but here's my take on her five excellent and thoughtful questions from the book Life is a Verb by Patti Digh.

1. What awakens you to the present moment?

My children. Looking at them, realizing that they are on their own path to express this life they've been given brings me immediately to the here and now. I savor our time together, our talks, our laughs...

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now?

A sunlit palm tree, a pine tree, the railing of my balcony, a large piece of coral on the porch post, a bird house my daughter made and painted.

3. Which verbs describe your experience of G-d?

Moving
Touching
Aware
Surrounding
Laughing
Hoping

4. From the book on p. 197:
Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go?

13. 8th grade. Enjoying a childhood in South Florida. Roller skating with friends every week. Taller than I wanted to be. Skinny. Endless energy. Played tennis, swam, rode a bike all over the place. Wrote poetry and drew. Beginning of my now nearly life-long pattern of staying up most of the night, sleeping little. Fan of scary movies. Beginning of conflict with mom. Wanted to be an architect. Read EVERYTHING!

Where did she go? Gave up some some dreams. Still draw and do other art. Write for a living, although not usually poetry. Work, kids and probably self-consciousness make me less likely to play tennis or swim. Still sleep very little. Probably closer to that 13 year old now than I was for years in a bad marriage. Happy being a mom, and feel sadness instead of anger for my mom -- she missed so much. That 13 year old is still here. :-)

5. From the book on p. 88:
If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be?

What job would you do if you didn't need to work for money?

Bonus idea for you here or on your own--from the book on p. 149:
"Go outside. Walk slowly forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. It might be an idea, it might be an object. Name it. Set it aside. Walk forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. Name it. Set it aside. Repeat. . . ."

A name of someone from the past I need to thank
A wish I dare not speak aloud, lest I jinx it
A memory of time spent with my dad at the airport
Something about souls and children that was just beyond my understanding

The price of change

noreply@blogger.com (Seeker) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:03:00 +0000

Since I've returned to my blog, I've been considering changing the back ground images. It's a simple thing to do...replace a line of code or two, and wallah, a new look. I could use different photos, or some of my art work.

But even with a minor change like this, there is a price. A certain loss of comfort, of familiarity. No, it's not anything earth shattering -- I am not paralyzed with fear. But there is a tinge of mourning when we let go of the familiar, whether it's a favourite pair of shoes or an outgrown bed...or a blog background. Admit it..you have held on to a worn out, but beloved shirt or pair of shoes or some other item even when a perfectly acceptable replacement (read, new) was readily available.

If we know that these little changes can affect us, why do we pretend that major changes are "no big deal?" Whether the change is positive like a new job or a graduation, or sad like the end of a loving relationship, we as a society want people to "get over it" or "get on with it" with lightening speed.

To look back wistfully is seen as a sign of weakness. The most famous story of this bias against taking one last look is Lot's wife. We all know the story..as the family was fleeing the evil of the city, she takes one last glance back at the place that was her home, and is turned to a pillar of salt. The Rabbis have explained her punishment in a variety of ways, from retribution for her past misdeeds to a result of her lack of complete faith in G-d's order to flee.

But there is another possible interpretation for her look backwards. Perhaps within that city were some good memories. Perhaps the birth of her children or their first tottering steps. A home she had cared for. Memories of her wedding day. So even as her feet carried her forward into the new, and hopefully better, she needed to take one last look. The pillar of salt? Instead of description of a punishment, maybe it was simply a way to vividly describe the tears that fall when we leave something behind for something new. For a moment, as we pause between the old and the new, we are literally frozen into our tears.

According to the Torah, she did not continue on her journey forward but remained as that salty pillar. So perhaps the lesson has two parts. One, that the act of looking back as we move on in life may, for a moment freeze our progress. The problem comes when we stay there, looking backwards, forgetting the journey.

So what does this all have to do with changing my blog background? The images on the screen as of today are a place I left behind three years plus ago. I think it's time stop looking back...time to face forward and move on.