Chasin' Mason

Happy Birthday, Little Oliver

2015-01-20T06:31:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, my precious baby turns one year old. Last year at this time, I was as big as a house and so anxious to meet him, yet so nervous and scared at the same time. Was I ready to be a mom of two? Could I possibly love another child as much as I love Mason?

The answer turned out to be yes - completely, absolutely, unequivocally yes. Along came Oliver, the one who would cause my heart to double in size in that first moment he laid on my chest. And now, even at just one year old, his little personality amazes me every day. He is fiery and strong-willed. He has more resolve in his tiny fingers than most adults have in their entire bodies. He has, more than once, driven me to tears with his sleeplessness and refusal to cooperate, but I am convinced that his unwillingness to conform and his unwavering determination will someday be his strongest attributes.

On the other hand, he is sweet and cuddly and charming. He waves at old ladies and peeks around corners at strangers, getting smiles from everyone we talk to. He adores his big brother and the cats and his daddy. When he puts his head on my shoulder and is finally calm for a precious couple of minutes, my heart melts.

Happy birthday, Oliver. Remembering your first year here in this crazy world will always, always, make me smile.

First Grade

2014-08-27T08:42:00.001-04:00

The first day of school. Last year, I cried. A ton. It was so hard to send my baby off to kindergarten, letting him go on his own. I didn't think I would ever make it through that long, long first day. I couldn't believe how quickly he had grown up and I was terrified of the days ahead.

This year was easier. It wasn't easier because I will miss him any less than I did last year and it wasn't easier because I'm less nervous and scared for him. It was easier because I know he can do it. Somewhere along the way, I realized that I'm not as sad that my baby is growing up, because I'm so incredibly proud of the kid he's becoming.

Not So Super Mom

2014-07-20T09:42:00.001-04:00

When Mason was a baby, I felt like Super Mom.

We played, he laughed, I made all of his baby food from fresh fruits and vegetables, he was always dressed in cute little outfits, and I took a hundred pictures a day. I blogged at least five times a week, sometimes twice a day. Even before he could understand English, I was teaching him about the world, constantly talking to him. We celebrated every milestone. I had it all under control.

But Oliver. Oh, Oliver. We still play and we still laugh and I still talk to him like he can understand what I'm saying - that much is the same. But this is his second blog post in his six months of life and there's a butternut squash that's been sitting in the refrigerator for a week. He can usually be found attached to my boob, most often naked because well, what's the point of getting dressed when you're constantly vomiting on yourself? I forget to take pictures. He cries a lot.

I cry a lot more, too.

I love that baby to death, with every ounce of my being, but my god - it's so hard sometimes. The struggle isn't with him though. It's not with Tyler, either, even though we bicker when I feel like he's being critical about my parenting or when I get jealous that he gets to spend a solid HOUR alone in the car everyday, going back and forth to work. In silence, if he wants! I can't even fathom the silence.

The struggle is with myself. The struggle is in learning to let go of how in control I felt six years ago. It's in the realization that although I'm not quite Super Mom, I'm doing the best I can. It's in learning that it isn't a negative reflection on my parenting every time Ollie cries. It's in understanding that Mason doesn't mind if we don't get to play together as often, because he has Tyler to hang out with when I need to lay down on the couch while Oliver is permanursing for what feels like the fiftieth time today.

It's taken me three days to finish this short blog post.

It's all going to be okay though, that much I know. The only one who cares that the house is a mess is me. The rest of the family is thrilled that we're having pizza for dinner for the third time this week. And Ollie looks at me with those big blue eyes and I can't imagine being any more loved, even if I did have this mom thing a little more under control.

Sometimes, you just need to take a deep breath and let it be.

Mason is Six and Along Came Ollie

2014-05-28T14:21:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile. A long while. But in no way does that mean nothing worth writing about has been going on. The exact opposite, actually. So much has been going on that finding spare moments of time has been next to impossible.

But here we are, in May of 2014. Mason, my baby, just turned six. It's so hard to believe sometimes.

He's almost finished with Kindergarden and even the first day of school - when I laid in bed crying hysterically after he got onto the bus for the first time - seems like ages ago. There was a time, not long ago actually, when the thought of him growing up absolutely terrified me. But now, when I look at the person he's becoming, I'm not scared anymore. He's smart, he's funny, he's full of energy and excitement, and he wants to learn everything he possibly can about the world around him.

People say the time flies by quickly. That you'll wake up one morning and your kid will be 25 and you'll have no idea where the time has gone. And some of that is true, I guess. It does go quickly. I can't believe that six years has passed since Mason was born. But then, I do know where the time has gone. The time has been spent playing and learning and reading stories and making messes and wiping tears. It's been spent watching a little newborn blob grow into a confident, fun, outgoing six-year-old person. These past six years have been well-spent.

In other, life-changing, huge news - on January 21st, along came Oliver.

Never did I think I could love someone as much as I love Mason. But Ollie has stolen my heart with his big blue eyes and giant toothless smile. It's been a big adjustment for us, but now, four months later, I can't imagine life without him. Mason absolutely loves being a big brother. He says they're BFFs.

I do hope to get back in the habit of updating the old blog more often now that Ollie's here. I love looking back at the posts I wrote when Mason was tiny and I want to be able to do that with Oliver, too. Until then, I'll be holding onto every second I have with these two perfect boys.

Pumpkin Chuckin'

2013-10-20T08:38:00.001-04:00

Family

2013-09-17T13:58:00.000-04:00

As happy as I always have been with our little family of just Mason and me, I couldn't be happier about having Tyler around. He fits in with us perfectly. <3

Little Drummer

2013-09-17T13:41:00.003-04:00

Back in February (forever ago!) Tyler took Mason to a friends' house where he got to play the drums for the first time.

He loved them. And it turns out, after we bought him his own little set for Easter, that he's got a real talent for them. He's taking lessons now, after Tyler taught him the basics for a couple months, and he talks all the time about being in the band at school.

I Love Saturday Mornings

2013-09-17T13:07:00.004-04:00

Hershey

2013-09-17T08:28:00.003-04:00

Mason, Tyler, and I went to Hershey Park. It was Mason's first trip there.

I couldn't go on many rides, but Mase and Tyler went on the Comet. Mason's first roller coaster! The Comet is HUGE, I can't imagine what was going through his head going down that first hill.

And I'll never forget the look on his face when they got off the ride.

All in all, it was a perfect day with my perfect family.

These two make me so, so happy.

Penny Misses Mason, Too

2013-09-16T14:36:00.001-04:00

The First Day

2013-09-16T14:27:00.000-04:00

Mason's first day of Kindergarten was so hard. And I don't mean for him. He was as excited and happy as ever. I mean for me.

Even looking at the pictures gets me a little choked up. He just looks so OLD. I blamed my tears on pregnancy hormones, but the simple truth is that I just love my kid more than anything on this planet. This house is too quiet, too boring, and too clean without him and it feels like I missing an actual part of myself when he's gone. In any case, on that first day I laid in bed for about two hours and then realized I still had five more to wait until he got off the bus. So I went shopping. And even without Mason on my heels, asking for toys or candy or who-knows-what-else, I still came home with nothing but Legos and books.

So I wrapped them up. A first day of school present. And when Mason got off that bus, running across the road screaming "mamaaaa!", I swear I've never been happier to see him. It was a rough seven hours.

Three weeks later, it's still hard. It's getting easier, a little, but I still miss him all day long. Maybe I'll play the lottery today. If I win, I'm homeschooling.

New Years Goals

2013-09-04T15:14:00.000-04:00

This was our New Years card. We're 9 months into 2013 but we still work on this to do list every single day. <3

Kindergarten Woes

2013-08-28T09:55:00.002-04:00

Today is the day I've been dreading for years. Mason's first day of Kindergarten. He's been gone for exactly an hour and thirty-seven minutes. I don't think either of us slept last night. He was up, laying in bed with me, too excited to sleep, and I was up frantically trying to discover a way to stop the inevitable progression of time so that my baby would never have to grow up. While we were having breakfast, he told me that he was excited to learn and make new friends but that he was sad that he had to leave me. I cried buttering his toast, I cried making his lunch and cutting his peanut butter and jelly into dinosaur shapes, and I teared up taking his picture (twelve thousand times). He got on the bus, looking so tiny with his huge back pack, and I managed to hold myself together until the bus pulled away and I knew he couldn't see me. I've been crying ever since.

I am 99% sure that this was the most painful thing that I've ever had to do in my life. I know every kid goes to school and that it isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's an unwanted reminder that he's not going to be my little baby forever. And that just sucks.

Snow & Rosy Cheeks

2013-07-29T15:04:00.002-04:00

The snow is long gone, and I don't like the cold, but I guess it doesn't look so bad when you're looking at it 6 months later.

T'was the Season

2013-07-10T11:23:00.001-04:00

Wow. It's been almost 6 months. Life has been crazy and exciting and perfect. But busy. I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged. But here I am, back on the bandwagon. For more reasons than one, I want to get back into the habit. This, however, means catching up on 6 months worth of pictures. So now, with only 6 months until Christmas comes again, I'll start where I left off.

Happy Christmas in July. :) Let's hope the catching up continues.

It's Okay

2013-01-15T18:52:00.000-05:00

Mase,

I hope that, in the days ahead, you make mistakes. Not huge, devastating mistakes. Not mistakes that are going to hurt anyone. Just regular mistakes. Because if you’re making mistakes, that means you are trying new things, pushing yourself, making changes, helping to improve the world... living. It means you’re doing things you’ve never done before and, more importantly, it means you’re doing SOMETHING.

I probably seem so much older to you that you think I know everything, but I don’t. Not even close. There’s so much I just don’t know. Some days I have to make hard choices where I have no idea what the right answer is. But it's okay. And that’s my wish for you... and for myself. We will all make mistakes, whether it’s in work or school or with our families or relationships or kids or just life in general. And when we do, when everything isn’t perfect, I hope that we don’t quit or worry that we aren’t good enough.

Just remember: whatever it is that you’re scared of doing... do it.

Up Close and Personal

2013-01-15T18:48:00.000-05:00

A Few Random Elf Shenanigans

2013-01-15T18:00:00.001-05:00

Lights, Camera..

2013-01-09T19:37:00.000-05:00

Well, of course I have a ton of pictures to catch up with, as always. These are from the beginning of December, when I had the bright idea to tie Mason and/or Penny up in Christmas lights and take a couple funny pictures for Christmas cards. Well..

This was a much better idea on paper than it was when I actually tried to put it into practice.

Yeah, not so much. Tons of bloopers, nothing useable. We ended up doing New Year's cards instead.

Another Year

2013-01-03T16:58:00.001-05:00

Mason,

It's January 1st, 2013. It's hard to believe that another year has gone past and that this year, you will turn five years old. Sometimes I find myself wondering where the time has gone but other times, I can remember every smile, every tear, every adventure-packed weekend, and every lazy don't-get-out-of-our-jammies day. If I think about it, I can remember everything you've done to make me proud, every new thing you've learned that completely amazed me, and every time you've made me laugh.

I don't have any New Year's Resolutions this year. Usually, I come up with a few, only to find that they're things I probably would have done anyway. Resolutions seem so serious that I think they often set people up for failure before they've even tried. If I say I want to lose 20 pounds in 2013 and I don't go to the gym on January 2nd, well, I messed that one up, guess I'll try again next year. But really, every DAY is a new day. And every day presents you with the opportunity to change your life and to better yourself. Of course there are things that I would like to change about myself and my life. I'd love to buy a house, move somewhere warmer, find a job I love going to every day, have enough money to send you to one of those awesome Montessori schools. But those things (or other, just as good things) will come, in time, because it does always work out. If there's one thing I learned - one thing you've taught me, really - it's that worrying is completely pointless. Planning is great, but not to the point that you're going to feel like a failure if what you've planned doesn't happen as quickly as you want it to.

When you were younger, I used to worry a lot about the future. I still do sometimes, even though I know it's not a particularly helpful or positive thing to do, but nowhere near as much as I did back then. When you were a baby, I worried about you growing up. I remember looking at you being so tiny and thinking that there was no way life would ever get better than it was when you were a month old, and a year old, and two years old. But life has gotten better and I know it will keep getting better as time goes on. I don't worry so much anymore about you growing up and having your innocent, loving little personality ruined by this crazy world because I'm confident that you're going to be an amazing person.

So this year, I'm going to plan a great fifth birthday party for you, cry when I send you to school for the first time, and do all I can to make sure we both laugh every single day. I don't know much for sure, but I do know I'll always do the best I can.

Elf on the Shelf

2012-12-05T19:45:00.000-05:00

Yep, he's creepy and overpriced, but we have an Elf on the Shelf. Meet Harrison McSparkles.

We've had him for about a week now and he cracks Mason up every morning. Personally I just wish he'd do the laundry while he's creeping around at night.

Thankful

2012-12-05T19:35:00.000-05:00

...for being crafty

and for having the world's sweetest, smartest kid.

Halloween 2012

2012-12-05T18:00:00.001-05:00

Mase and I have always dressed up for Halloween together. We were hippies, we were Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons, and we were Thing 1 and Thing 2. All my ideas. But this year, he had an opinion. No, not an opinion, a demand. This year, he was dead set on being a cat. Not just any cat, either. I couldn't get creative - he didn't want to be a hippie cat or a rockstar cat or even a fireman cat. He wanted to be Penny Lane. My original intention was to be the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons. I had everything ready to but I had to work on Halloween so I was super rushed and didn't end up dressing up. Oh well, there's always next year.

Anyways, I put my craftiness and my mediocre sewing skills to work and came up with a cat costume that Mason was absolutely thrilled with. The whole thing cost probably 15 bucks to make, too, so it was definitely a success.

His costume was complete with a litter box candy bag.

Will the real Penny please stand up?

The real Penny Lane was a hot dog.

The hot dog costume lasted approximately three minutes before Penny disappeared for a minute and returned naked. The costume was never seen again. Seriously.

Friends Share

2012-11-29T19:23:00.001-05:00

Jack-o-Lanterns

2012-11-29T17:11:00.001-05:00