The High Critic

Movie Review: Robin Hood

2010-05-18T12:14:00.000-07:00

I went into this movie expecting it to be Gladiator in a different century. I was wrong, Gladiator was tight as shit; this movie kind of blew. First of all, the real good action doesn’t really start until about two thirds into it, and at over two hours long, you probably wouldn’t be in a good stage of highness to even enjoy it. In addition to that, the first two thirds of the movie in weed time is excruciating to sit through. However, because the movie does act as a prequel, there is still hope that Robin Hood 2 (hopefully in 3D) will be good. Also receives a negative review because Robin Hood’s main squeeze is repulsive (hopefully that part will be recast).

Verdict: wait for the sequel or maybe if it is on TNT

Top 10 Animated Movies (to watch stoned)

2010-05-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

10. The Jungle Book (1967)

9. Wall-e (2008)

8. The Lion King (1994)

7. South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut (1999)

6. Shrek (2001)

5. Toy Story/ Toy Story 2 (1995, 1999)

4. Fantasia (1940)

The original animated movie for stoners, Fantasia set the bar with its trippy visuals and unbelievable soundtrack. It consists of various short films that are unconnected but that flow together flawlessly. Yes, you need to be in a certain mood to watch it, but if you’re in that mood, Fantasia’s your movie.

3. Finding Nemo (2003)

2. Spirited Away (2002)

Hayao Miyazaki’s masterpiece is by no means your ordinary animated movie. At first glance it can seem childish, especially during the movie’s opening scenes, but the movie develops into an imaginative, soaring epic. Filled with memorable characters and beautiful settings, Spirited Away is visually stunning, creative wonder.

If you enjoy this movie check out Hayao Miyazaki’s other movies, such as Princess Mononoke and Howl’s Moving Castle.

1. Up (2009)

Movie Review: Clash of the Titans 3D

2010-04-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

We went to this movie expecting it to do one thing, and one thing only: entertain us. It did not leave us disappointed. However, this does not mean it’s actually a good movie, in fact it's really not that good. The quality of the 3D was mediocre at best, and Perseus, the protagonist, didn’t even bang any chicks. Could you imagine boobies in 3D? Despite these faults it did its job, there are sweet action sequences in which humans are fighting monsters.

Verdict: See it

Top 10 Sports Documentaries (to watch stoned)

2010-04-28T13:06:00.000-07:00

10. Any ESPN 30 for 30 documentary.

Some of our favorites have included The U, and Winning Times (Reggie Miller Vs The Knicks). However, Run Ricky Run (The Ricky Williams Documentary) looks to surpass them all as our favorite ESPN documentary yet. Here’s a look at the ESPN trailers:

ESPN 30 for 30

9. Bigger, Faster, Stronger

A relevant and informative look inside the world of steroids, and the pressures that lead to the use of performance enhancing drugs.

8. Surfwise

The story of a family that gave it all up to hit the road and surf. Nine kids, no money, and no home, the documentary shows a lifestyle all but unheard of in today's world. The film's focus on 'the first family of surfing' makes this technically a sports documentary, although it is more a detailed look of the Stanford's Medical School's decision to drop of the map and pursue happiness in the rarest of ways.

7. Go Tigers!

A high school football team finds themselves in the crossfire of a divided town. With a school tax levy needed to save the jobs of many of the schools coaches and teachers, the team realizes that the fate of the levy, and their town, rests on their shoulders.

6. Murderball

“We're not going for a hug. We're going for a fucking gold medal.”

Quadriplegics put their athletic talents to the test in the wheelchair rugby game they call murder ball. Funny, intense and touching, the movie familiarizes us with a sport made more appealing by its obscurity and more stirring by the ferocious attitudes of the seated athletes.

5. Pumping Iron

Here’s a funny clip from this Schwarzenegger Documentary. Pretty typical of the entire movie, and made even more funny by the fact that he is now Governor of the golden state. The a movie that catapulted The Govenator to stardom shines as both a comedy and an insightful look into the unique world of body building.

4. Tyson

“My mission is to go and destroy, and not let anything get involved. You punch, you get hurt, I refused to get hurt, knocked down, or knocked out. I can't lose, I refuse to lose.”

The best documentary ever made about the self-proclaimed hell raiser. Exciting and revealing, Tyson is well paced and succeeded in keeping us all spellbound for the duration. Tyson is a fascinating character, and this film does him justice.

3. More Than A Game (LBJ Documentary)

Distinct, charismatic characters and unbelievably extensive game tapes from the team’s middle and high school days make this film a sure fire hit.

2. Hoop Dreams

"People ask me, 'Will I remember them if i make it?'. I tell them, 'Will you remember me If I don't?'"

The trailer does not do the classic film justice, but the documentary succeeds both as a basketball chronicle and a commentary on American life.

1. When We Were Kings (Ali Documentary)

“I done wrestled with an alligator. That's right. I have wrestled with an alligator. I done tussled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail. That's bad!”

Here are the first 10 minutes of the film to get you started, but the DVD is worth renting to watch it on a TV. Shows Muhammad Ali at his best, as his charisma makes the film the classic that it is.