<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="no"?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><rss xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" version="2.0"><channel><title>Funny blog</title><description>blog funny,
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2005 blog funny.</description><managingEditor>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</managingEditor><pubDate>Fri, 4 Oct 2024 19:12:31 -0700</pubDate><generator>Blogger http://www.blogger.com</generator><openSearch:totalResults xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/">17</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/">1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/">25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/</link><language>en-us</language><item><title>World Of Tanks Skins: world of tanks skins 0.8.3 Contour</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2013/03/world-of-tanks-skins-world-of-tanks.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Wed, 6 Mar 2013 00:19:00 -0800</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-5472638023553662831</guid><description>&lt;a href="http://skinsworldoftanks.blogspot.com/2013/03/world-of-tanks-skins-083-contour.html?spref=bl"&gt;World Of Tanks Skins: world of tanks skins 0.8.3 Contour&lt;/a&gt;: world of tanks skins 0.8.3 Contour   Marked areas:    - zones penetration.    - combat pack.    - power plant.    - nternal fuel tanks.   ...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Flying Eagle</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/04/flying-eagle.html</link><category>Flying Eagle</category><category>video</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Thu, 9 Apr 2009 05:49:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-6201212158430079696</guid><description>&lt;object width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/APViUODDhT0&amp;amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1"&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/APViUODDhT0&amp;amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>funny tagalog qoutes</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/04/funny-tagalog-qoutes.html</link><category>funny tagalog qoutes</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Wed, 8 Apr 2009 04:27:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-4615574810450932065</guid><description>&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;funny tagalog qoutes&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;h1&gt;my Sublime funny tagalog qoutes&lt;/h1&gt;search &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://bestmusclerelaxer.com/?aid=73022&amp;amp;q=funny+quotes"&gt;Funny Quotes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;funny tagalog qoutes&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">1</thr:total></item><item><title>prepare hairy sausages</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/03/prepare-hairy-sausages.html</link><category>hairy sausages</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Fri, 27 Mar 2009 05:35:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-8483117164210185489</guid><description>Not being at any time in the soul cooking, go by this recipe could not. Still, before leaving inventive Russian soul, that even from the products of fast preparation manages to make a culinary masterpiece. Even if not to your liking, then exterior.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, prepare hairy sausages.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You take a pack of dogs and spaghetti. Pierce sausages 30-40 spaghetti and gently put into the pot with boiling water. Cook until done:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p align="center"&gt;&lt;img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/nextlesson/pic/0001py6p" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p align="center"&gt;&lt;img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/nextlesson/pic/0001q9hq" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Los Colorados, Hot and Cold</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/03/los-colorados-hot-and-cold.html</link><category>video</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:47:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-6380399182561187208</guid><description>&lt;span class=""&gt;A Ukrainian band plays Katy Perry's “Hot and Cold.” This is &lt;i&gt;extreme&lt;/i&gt; folk.     &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;object width="420" height="339"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x8rwc0"&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x8rwc0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="420" height="339"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>funny</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/03/funny.html</link><category>fun</category><category>funny</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:22:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-5432748124172901038</guid><description>&lt;img style="width: 350px; height: 464px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/1.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 438px; height: 303px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/2.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 440px; height: 586px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/3.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 438px; height: 584px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/9.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 438px; height: 329px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/4.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 444px; height: 299px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/5.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/6.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 452px; height: 452px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/7.jpg" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img style="width: 456px; height: 370px;" src="http://nadjakseruje.blox.pl/resource/8.jpg" /&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">1</thr:total></item><item><title>fun</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/03/fun.html</link><category>video</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:03:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-3197450787605528034</guid><description>&lt;object width="400" height="225"&gt;&lt;param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3514904&amp;amp;server=vimeo.com&amp;amp;show_title=1&amp;amp;show_byline=1&amp;amp;show_portrait=0&amp;amp;color=&amp;amp;fullscreen=1"&gt;&lt;embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3514904&amp;amp;server=vimeo.com&amp;amp;show_title=1&amp;amp;show_byline=1&amp;amp;show_portrait=0&amp;amp;color=&amp;amp;fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://vimeo.com/3514904"&gt;Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href="http://vimeo.com/user1379043"&gt;Tomas Nilsson&lt;/a&gt; on &lt;a href="http://vimeo.com/"&gt;Vimeo&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>IHC's Periodic Table of Video Game Characters</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2009/03/ihcs-periodic-table-of-video-game.html</link><category>Video Game</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:58:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-289924866983930784</guid><description>&lt;p style="text-align: justify;"&gt;Holy crap this took a lot longer than I thought. A couple weeks ago, there was this Periodic Table of Cartoon Characters floating around on Digg and it got me thinking about a Periodic Table of Video Game Characters, but unfortunately, the periodic table of elements doesn't always cooperate when it comes to video game character names. If you're stumped on any, let me know and maaaybe I'll give you the answer.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align: justify;"&gt;As far as my criteria for what went where, I tried to give room first to characters who are primarily and originally video game characters, but not always. Batman for example, is first a comic book character, but there were some pretty kickass Batman games, the one for NES in particular. Same with Homer Simpson-- he's primarily a cartoon character, but he's appeared in more video games than most of the other characters on the table. For Hf, after not even finding a Pokemon or Star Wars character that had an H or an f in their name, I had to resort to Heifer from Rocko's Modern Life, since there was a Rocko game for the SNES. Stupid Hf.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align: justify;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://iheartchaos.com/sites/default/files/periodic_2.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 651px; height: 398px;" src="http://iheartchaos.com/sites/default/files/periodic_2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Open?! Easy!!!</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/04/open-easy.html</link><category>door</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Thu, 3 Apr 2008 10:57:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-4271377171749291044</guid><description>&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDPiNKA7uNKRdeNmEFpjaNjhCh3vuGg-XcPyyFUrVXwyHakiUErShQ95sU3NarQA1fS6vjE_jAJ2HUc9muBk5zZI_Vucb8rCJBZ2mRfyV_gCo1GJ68hJJMhPLt4Br-6WxyYh1lrm2Zyk/s1600-h/1207145737_defendius1.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDPiNKA7uNKRdeNmEFpjaNjhCh3vuGg-XcPyyFUrVXwyHakiUErShQ95sU3NarQA1fS6vjE_jAJ2HUc9muBk5zZI_Vucb8rCJBZ2mRfyV_gCo1GJ68hJJMhPLt4Br-6WxyYh1lrm2Zyk/s320/1207145737_defendius1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185079913042099298" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj60UcIfRXaLoMCuNfXGjbtu-5VIYjza2iNk9MoTCGTCEnZlSojxndvo-oHdRBxTRJFLYTr_I-h0wFWqQN4njxJdy7W5ip7FQF3WWLxAe33RWSAkmoboh19_MQ20AxNLIn7nfjFY1dEvWg/s1600-h/1207145748_defendius2.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj60UcIfRXaLoMCuNfXGjbtu-5VIYjza2iNk9MoTCGTCEnZlSojxndvo-oHdRBxTRJFLYTr_I-h0wFWqQN4njxJdy7W5ip7FQF3WWLxAe33RWSAkmoboh19_MQ20AxNLIn7nfjFY1dEvWg/s320/1207145748_defendius2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185079917337066610" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" height="72" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDPiNKA7uNKRdeNmEFpjaNjhCh3vuGg-XcPyyFUrVXwyHakiUErShQ95sU3NarQA1fS6vjE_jAJ2HUc9muBk5zZI_Vucb8rCJBZ2mRfyV_gCo1GJ68hJJMhPLt4Br-6WxyYh1lrm2Zyk/s72-c/1207145737_defendius1.jpg" width="72"/><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>The test</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/04/test.html</link><category>test</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Tue, 1 Apr 2008 15:27:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-3878774001481399805</guid><description>&lt;object width="425" height="355"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ahg6qcgoay4&amp;amp;rel=0&amp;amp;color1=0x000000&amp;amp;color2=0x000000"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="wmode" value="transparent"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ahg6qcgoay4&amp;amp;rel=0&amp;amp;color1=0x000000&amp;amp;color2=0x000000" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>DROPCLOCK</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/04/dropclock.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Tue, 1 Apr 2008 05:16:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-6271559095236794603</guid><description>&lt;object width="425" height="355"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EoZmBjaFWto&amp;amp;hl=ja"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="wmode" value="transparent"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EoZmBjaFWto&amp;amp;hl=ja" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>A New Sith, or Revenge of the Hope</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-sith-or-revenge-of-hope.html</link><category>fun</category><category>funny</category><category>Star Wars</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Sun, 30 Mar 2008 17:25:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-7115897053134244372</guid><description>A New Sith, or Revenge of the Hope&lt;br /&gt;Reconsidering Star Wars IV in the light of I-III&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Consider: at the end of RotS, Bail Organan orders 3PO's memory wiped but not R2's. He wouldn't make the distinction casually. Both droids know that Yoda and Obi-Wan are alive and are plotting sedition with the Senator from Alderaan. They know that Amidala survived long enough to have twins and could easily deduce where they went. However, R2 must make an impassioned speech to the effect that he is far more use to them with his mind intact: he has observed Palpatine and Anakin at close quarters for many years, knows much that is useful and is one of the galaxy's top experts at hacking into other people's systems. Also he can lie through his teeth with a straight face. Organa, in immediate need of espionage resources, agrees.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For the next 20 years, as far as 3PO knows, he is the property of Captain Antilles, doing protocol duties on a diplomatic transport. He is vaguely aware of the existence of the princess but doesn't know much about her. Wherever 3PO goes, being as loud and obvious as he always is, his unobtrusive little counterpart goes with him. 3PO is R2's front man. Wherever they land, R2 is passing messages between rebel sympathisers and sizing up governments as potential rebel recruits - both by personal contact and by hacking into their networks. He passes his recommendations on to Organa.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yoda is out of the picture by this stage, using the Force-infused swamps of Dagobah to hide himself from Vader and the Emperor. Or something. He is meditating on the future and keeping in touch with Obi-Wan via the ghost of Qui-Gon Jin, which as comm systems go has the virtue of being untappable. Obi-Wan, on Tattoine, keeps in touch with Bail Organa and the other Rebel leaders by courier, of which more later.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As Star Wars opens, R2 is rushing the Death Star plans to the Rebellion. R2, not Leia. The plans are always in R2. What Leia puts into him in the early scene is only her own holographic message to Kenobi. Leia's own mission, as she says in the holographic message, is to pick up Obi-Wan and take him to Alderaan - or so she thinks. Actually, her father just wants her to meet Kenobi, which up to this point she never has. There's a reason for that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Obi-Wan has spent the last 20 years in the Tattoine desert, keeping watch over Luke Skywalker and trying to decide on one of the three available options:&lt;br /&gt;A) If Luke shows no significant access to the Force, then leave him alone in obscurity&lt;br /&gt;B) If Luke shows real Force ability, then consider recruiting him as a Jedi. The rebellion needs Jedi. Now.&lt;br /&gt;But, if Luke shows any signs of turning out like his father, then C) sneak into his house one fine night and chop his head off. With great regret but it'll save a lot of trouble later on.&lt;br /&gt;Knowing this to be the case, Bail Organa (perhaps at the insistence of his wife) has found excuses not to send Leia to Ben for assessment of Jedi potential, largely for fear of option C.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To be fair to all concerned, Leia has shown no overt signs of a link to the Force. Luke on the other hand has. In his home-built hotrod aircraft, with no formal fighter pilot training and no decent instrumentation, Luke can regularly score centre-hits on 2-metre targets in complicated zero-altitude maneouvres. Until he attends the briefing on Yavin, Luke has no way of knowing that hardened combat pilots would consider that nearly impossible. To him it's easy. Obi-Wan, who saw Anakin's performance in the Pod Race, is nervous.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Much of Obi-Wan's behaviour in this film, and Yoda's in the next, can best be understood if they are frankly scared to death of what Luke might become. (Ben is also scared that he himself will make all the same mistakes he made with Anakin.)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now, with the existence of the rebellion at stake, Bail Organa has finally told Leia to go see Obi-Wan and has sent her along with R2. The original plan would then be for Obi-Wan (with optional Luke and/or Leia in tow) to leave his exile and take the Death Star plans to Yavin, where they can be put to use. R2 (with Leia if Ben doesn't want to take her) would then carry on to Alderaan to maintain the cover story. The original plan does not survive contact with a large Imperial Star Destroyer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;R2 and 3PO bail out in an escape pod, landing in vaguely the right area of Tattoine, where R2's first priority is transport. He arranges to be captured by a group of Jawas and, once on board their transport, he makes a deal with them (possibly using emergency funds stored about his person) to take him where he wants to go. The Jawas refuse to go directly to Kenobi for fear of marauding Sandpeople but they agree to R2's second request : transport to the Skywalker farm. They even get to keep the purchase price if they can sell R2 and 3PO there. The Jawas shake on it and go through with the plan.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Seeing 3PO fail to recognise the farm where he worked for 10 years gives r2 a moment's amusement but, as soon as possible, he gets away and heads for Kenobi. Luke and 3PO follow, which may or may not have been part of the plan.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On first seeing R2, Obi-Wan has a twinkle in his eye and calls him "my little friend". Well, he is. However, when Luke wakes up and says that R2 claimed to be owned by an Obi-Wan Kenobi, he blandly says "I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid." Ben has in fact owned several but the remark is aimed at R2 and translates as "You keep quiet. I'm not about to tell him everything just yet." Obi-Wan thinks fast and tells Luke a version of his past that does not involve a father who became a dark lord of the Sith. He wants to examine Luke a lot more closely before he risks telling him the real truth.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Although the Death Star plans need to get to Yavin as soon as possible, Obi-Wan needs to make one more diversion first. If the Empire knows that Leia is a Rebel leader, then they also know about her father and the whole Organa family may need immediate evacuation. Fortunately, before coming to Tattoine, R2 had already arranged transport, which is waiting at Mos Eisley, under the command of the Rebellion's other chief field agent and espionage asset. Chewbacca.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;20 years earlier, Chewbacca was second in command of the defence of his planet. He's there in the tactical conferences and there on the front lines and is a personal friend of Yoda's. When he needed reliable people to join the embryonic Alliance, who else would Yoda turn to but his old friend from Kashykk? Given his background, there is no way that Chewie would spend the crucial years of the rebellion as the second-in-command to (sorry Han) a low-level smuggler. Unless it's his cover. In fact, Chewie is a top-line spy and flies what is in many ways the Rebellion's best ship.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Millenium Falcon may look like a beat-up old freighter but it can outrun any Imperial ship in normal space or hyperspace, hang in a firefight with a Star Destroyer or outmaneouvre a dozen top-of-the-line TIE fighters. It's a remarkable feat of engineering and must have cost a colossal fortune to build. How does Han come to own a ship like that? He only thinks he does, actually it's Chewie's. Half-way through RotS, we see the Falcon landing at the Senate building on Coruscant. If it's the same ship (which of course it is) then it was the personal transport of one of the senatorial delegations - a much more likely source to commission its design. That delegatino must have later joined the Rebellion and given it the use of the Falcon. In fact, if the delegation is the one from Kashykk, then the ship may have belonged to Chewbacca as early as RotS.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Han is Chewie's front man. It's much better, and safer for him, if he doesn't know what's really going on. Chewie used to work with Lando Calrissian in a similar way but Lando wanted to settle down, so Chewie arranged for him to lose the Falcon in a card game to Han Solo, an even better choice as partner. Han and Chewie's working method is pretty much what we see in the cantina scene: Chewie make the contacts and sets up the deals, then turns them over to Han who haggles over the price and gives the final yea or nay. This lets Chewie wander the seamy underside of the galaxy pretty much at will, making contacts, gathering and passing information with no-one was the wiser, especially not Han.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chewie persuaded Han to do business with Jabba the Hutt so he could make regular runs to Tattoine, where Chewie could pass messages between Kenobi and Organa. When R2's urgent message came through only days before, the only way for Chewie to get back to Tattoine in time was to make the "mistake" that forced Han to dump his cargo to avoid capture. As a down side, this led to Solo's getting a death mark out on him from Jabba the Hutt. Chewie was a bit upset about the need for that but figured they weren't going to be dealing with Tattoine for much longer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;En route to Alderaan, R2 and Chewie play stop-motion chess. This is the latest in a series of games they've played over the year in the back rooms of space stations and cantinas across the galaxy, but this is the first time they've done it in front of their respective straight men, so they put on a big show.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then it all goes wrong again. Alderaan is gone and the Falcon is caught and brought aboard the Death Star. Only Han, Luke and 3PO don't know just how much trouble they're in but Obi-Wan has a plan and seems confident (but Jedi always do). Soon afterwards, R2 finds Leia in the detention cells and shouts that they have to rescue her, to which Chewie can only agree. If Vader learns he has a daughter, then they're all in deep trouble, so Chewie does his bit to persuade Han to go along with Luke's plan.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then, on the verge of escape, Vader himself turns up only yards from both of his children, one of whom is leaking Force all over the place. Obi-Wan stages a distraction by letting himself  die and go into the Force while the others escape. At this point, Chewie suddenly realises that he's been left in charge, not only of the Death Star Plans and the survival of the Rebellion but of the secret son and daughter of Darth Vader. With the Organas and Kenobi all dead, only Chewie, R2 and Yoda know who Luke and Leia are. And only Ob-Wan knew where Yoda has been hiding. Chewie is stressed out by the responsibility and R2 (who keeps making crude jokes about the whole affair) is being no help at all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Chewie's first problem is what is happening between Luke and Leia. With a psychic link they can feel but don't understand, thrown together in a life-or-death escape, they are looking at each other with a sparky intensity that Chewie gradually recognises as Romantic Tension. He's no expert on human relationships but Chewie is fairly sure that that's Wrong, so he does the only thing he can under the circumstances - he throws Han at her. Han is at first not interested but after a while starts to warm to the idea with an intensity that gives Chewie new worries.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When they reach Yavin, Han decides to take the money and run and Chewie decides to go with him. Looked at in cold light, it's for the good of the Rebellion. Even if Yavin is destroyed, there'll be one agent who knows what's going on who can try and put something back together, but he doesn't feel good about it. When Han decides to turn around and join the attack, Chewie is all for it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Han and Luke get medals but Chewie doesn't. Actually, Leia offers him one but Chewie turns it down. He got one of those things from Yoda about 20 years ago, but there's no way he can tell her that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As the film ends, the three founders of the Rebellion are all gone. Bail Organa is dead, Yoda is out of contact and Obi-Wan's ghost can only talk to other Jedi. (So that would be Yoda then.) Thus, the field leadership of the rebellion has just been turned over to the daughter of Darth Vader. Chewie is really hoping that someone with an official rank greater than hers will get here real soon before he has to think really seriously about option C.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;© Keith Martin 2005&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Ping-Pong Pistol</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/03/ping-pong-pistol.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:49:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-2646002138542088043</guid><description>&lt;object width="425" height="355"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lwzEvsZNydM&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x3a3a3a&amp;color2=0x999999"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="wmode" value="transparent"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lwzEvsZNydM&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x3a3a3a&amp;color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Caricatura</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/03/caricatura.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:46:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-3105572077516819847</guid><description>&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG8QihTcdfvwB_y2kr06zLTh3NCD1OsuHd6AFYEOa0OhyphenhyphenEWibDR6oGq5qmi1-TVOK429V0NxRjvoiihk4w991B9hz631BvJscMe1pw3ZfQsxRMi4tLTPrtgMlyUyCzvPAElO9-ax-uXSQ/s1600-h/11.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor:pointer; 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Before I got laid for the first time I had read a fair amount about sex. I took Sex Education classes in school. I read articles on positions and techniques in Maxim and Cosmo. I read sites like www.sexuality.org.  I read the Savage Love column every week. I also looked at tons of porn on the internet and through my PlayStation 2's handy DVD player. All in all, I thought even though I had never done it myself, I knew most of what there was to know about sex. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then I started having it and I kept discovering all these basic things that had somehow passed me by. In all the stuff I read and watched these things never came up. I never heard anyone talking about them either. I guess they assumed that the audience was already having sex and that knowing these things was a given. And it seems that porn glosses some things over or does not reflect what actual sex is like. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. So here's my list of basic sexual stuff that I only found out about when I came across it myself.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p&gt;Hopefully reading this will make life easier for the virgins out there in some way, you know, by lessening that fear of the unknown or whatever. I think the most common theme below is that sex is not as glamorous as it's sometimes made out to be. However, 'not glamorous' isn't the same as 'not enjoyable'. Sex is awesome. If anything, all the little quirks I'll mention below make it more fun.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;h2&gt; Positions &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;From reading and watching porn I thought positions like missionary, doggy style, woman-on-top, etc. were simple, cut-and-dry things. I soon found out that each one has tons of subtle variations based on things like how you position your legs, the position of her legs, how deep inside her you are in a resting position, the angle you're thrusting in, the position of your upper body, how high or low your hips are on her body, how your bodies fit together, and so on and so on. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;With some variations her vagina will seem like a straight tunnel that you can easily go in-and-out, in-and-out of. With other variations you're mostly inside her, can only thrust a little, and you're more grinding pelvises together. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;p&gt;For example, if you're in the missionary position: &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; If you put your legs together and straight back, you'll get a different feeling then if you had them spread out to your sides and had your knees further up on the bed. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If she spreads her legs you'll be able to thrust in one way. If she lifts them up and wraps them behind your back, you'll be able to thrust deeper. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If you rest on your elbows you'll enter her at one angle and be able to thrust in a certain way. If you straighten your arms and rest on your hands you'll thrust at a different angle. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If the top of your hip bone roughly matches up with hers you'll get a certain angle and depth. If you try to 'ride higher' you'll get a different angle and depth. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If your upper body is parallel to hers things'll go one way. If you raise your torso up to around 45 degrees things'll be slightly different. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; What works one way with a petite girl may not feel the same with a girl who's closer to your height.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;p&gt;The idea is you have to play around with these variations in position to find a way that feels good for both of you (or just you if you're selfish). &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;h2&gt; Vaginal lubrication &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;You probably know that the vagina secretes a natural lubricant and that women get 'wet'. I knew that basic fact too, but I learned some more things about the process firsthand. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; It runs out at some point and she'll get dry, and eventually uncomfortable, during sex. Sometimes you have to pull out and apply some lube. At other times you can keep going for a bit and she'll get wet again. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If the girl gets too wet during sex it can reduce the friction to the point where you don't really feel anything. If she's too dry it doesn't feel that great for you either. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If enough of it accumulates it has a whitish, mayonnaise look to it. Sometimes you'll finish having sex and when you pull out and look down you'll see a big drop of it running down between her legs. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If you're going at in the missionary position, it may run out on to the bed and leave a wet spot on the sheets that's a bit white when it dries. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;h2&gt;  Erections &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;If you watch porn you may wonder why the guy's erection is sometimes slow to grow. You're thinking that if you were in his shoes you'd be as hard as a rock in a second. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; Nope, the same thing will happen to you. Once the intial thrill of hooking up with this girl/girls in general wears off, your erection will often start to get soft when your penis isn't being directly stimulated. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Being drunk, being distracted, and bad technique on the girl's part can contribute to your not getting it up quickly.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; After putting on a condom you may need to jerk yourself off for a second to get it a bit harder before you stick it in her.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If it's not hard enough you'll have a hard time putting it in. It'll tend to bend or slide out of the way instead of penetrating. However, if it's slightly soft and you manage to get in it, you can often get it harder quickly once you start thrusting. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If the sex isn't great and/or you're distracted and/or something messed up happens you may start to go soft once you're inside her. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;h2&gt; Sticking it in &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;You've probably heard jokes about this before. Yep, it can be hard to find the hole. Even if you know where you need to go visually, the vaginal entrance can be smaller and tighter than you think so you may not feel exactly where you need to insert the tip of your penis. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; With missionary it's fairly obvious where you need to put it, but if you're trying to guide it in blind then it can be awkward. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; With doggy style the hole is further up then you'd think.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; When the girl is on top the angle of her vaginal tunnel can give you problems and you can't really see what you're doing. It's best if she guides it in herself. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; Like I said above, if you're a bit soft then you can have trouble putting it in.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; If you fail to get it in properly your dick will slide somewhere else and may feel like it's in for a second or two.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; All this is more difficult if you have a condom on, as it's harder to feel what you're doing.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;h2&gt; Climaxing &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;You may also watch porn and wonder why the guy sometimes has to jerk off for a few minutes before delivering the money shot. You're thinking if you were in that position you'd pop off no problem. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; Again, the same thing may happen to you. Sometimes you'll be having sex/getting a blowjob/jerking off and you won't be able to cum. If the stimulation isn't effective it can happen. If you put too much pressure on yourself to orgasm on demand it can happen. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; The more common stereotype is that men finish too quickly and that they have to think about stuff like baseball in order to last any real length of time. But not being able to cum happens too. Not all guys are losers who are done in thirty seconds. Finishing too soon definitely happens, but not every single time. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; In many cases you're not just going to cum instantly as soon as you start pounding away, you have to find the speed, angle, depth, etc. that feels good for you. It's not automatic, just like you can't just masturbate in any random way. You have to do what's effective for you. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; On a related note, women don't always want to have marathon sex sessions. Sometimes they'll get tired of the guy stabbing away endlessly, especially if it's not doing anything for them. Sometimes they'll start to get dry and sore. Sometimes they'll have an orgasm or two and think that's enough. Sometimes they'll just be happy with a good twenty minutes of fun sex and not have any need to go for longer. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;h2&gt; Minor injuries &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;It can be irritating to your skin when your sweaty pubic hair rubs against hers.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Someone's hair my get accidentally pulled or caught.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Someone may clumsily fall over as you're changing positions (e.g., when she's getting off you from being on top, when you try to transition from missionary with you kneeling and her laying down to missionary with both of you laying down).&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You may hit your head against the headboard, har har har.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;When you're going at it missionary style you can end up hitting the bottom of your bladder on her pelvic bone. That gets old after ten minutes... &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Your knees and elbows can get sore after a while from rubbing on the bed/floor/etc.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;During doggy style if you slip out and then accidently thrust back into her pelvis. This can hurt the tip of your dick.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;If she's riding you and you slip out she can come down on your dick. Usually it gets bent a little and hurts for a minute. At the worst you can rupture the tissue and take a trip to the hospital. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You may get scratches, bruises, pulled hair (purposely this time), and bite marks.  That's cool.   &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You may fall off the bed or hit your elbow against the wall or something else like that. You just gotta laugh when this shit happen. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;h2&gt; Condoms &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;First let me say that you should always wear these things despite what I say below. You know what can happen if you don't. You may have heard guys complain about condoms, saying they kill the mood or whatever. It's true, they are kind of annoying. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;They kill spontaneity. You can't smoothly progress from foreplay to sex. You have to stop the action to go grab a condom, open it, and then put it on. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They smell bad.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They kill sensation, sometimes to the point where you can barely feel your own dick inside the girl. On the plus side, they can allow you to last longer. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes when you're inside the girl they'll bunch up in weird ways and feel strange. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They interrupt the flow of things after sex is over.  You have to pull out, take the condom off, and get rid of it.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;   &lt;h2&gt; Messiness &lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;You probably know this already, but overall sex is messier than what you see on t.v. or in porn.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;You're going to get hot and sweaty of course.  &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The woman's lubrication is going to dribble all over the place and possibly stain the sheets. Someone is going to get semen on them at some point. Condom wrappers are going to litter the ground. You may kiss passionately and slobber all over each other. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Someone may let out a fart right in the middle of things.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Sometimes when you pull out and she changes positions she'll fart out her vagina (queefing).   &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;If you finger her your fingers may be covered with a lot of her clear lubricant when you pull them out. You may have to wipe them off on your leg or something. Classy.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;If you have sex when she's on her period, well use your imagination. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;If you have anal sex you may get some poo on your dick. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;If you have a good session, when you're done you're going to be sweaty, red faced, tired, and a bit out of it. Your hair will be messed up, gross stray hairs will be stuck to your skin, the girl will have a bit of white lubricant running out of her cootch. You'll have a bit of cum dribbling out of your dick. There will be at least one condom wrapper on the floor, the sheets and pillows will be all over the place, and the bed will have a wet spot on it. If you cuddle afterwards you'll start to stick together and it'll feel gross when you pull apart. It's great. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;     &lt;h2&gt;General differences from masturbation and porn&lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;p&gt;If I had to give a simplified summary I'd say masturbating is all about the visuals while actual sex is more about physical feelings. Of course masturbation is about the physical feelings too, but if you're anything like me, the visuals drive the experience and provide most of the excitement. When you're using your imagination you keep flipping between different scenarios until you hit on one that does it for you. When you watch porn you probably skip around between different DVD scenes or online clips until you hit on one that turns you on the most.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p&gt;With sex some positions give you something to look at, but you're hardly sitting in a chair watching a scene that has been shot from a distance and angle that gives you a good view. If you're doing a girl in the missionary position you're too close to her to see anything. Your eyes are probably closed, or if they're open they may not be focused on anything. You're probably kissing her or you may have your head nuzzled in her neck. Cut off from the visuals you instead concentrate on the tactile sensations; your dick going in and out of her vagina, your bodies pressed together, her hands scratching your back, her breath on your cheek, how hot you are, the sweat forming on the small of your back, your hands grabbing her boobs, kissing, and various little aches, tired spots, and discomforts. And then there are the sounds and smells; body parts slapping together, her breathing and moaning. The smell of latex, sweat, someone's breath, or her vag.&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p&gt;Of course, sometimes when you're going at it you'll be picturing things in your head to help yourself get off. Like maybe your girlfriend is going down on you and that feels pretty nice, but not quite perfect, so you imagine a porn scene or hot girl you saw the other day to get yourself over the edge. &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p&gt;Also, when you watch porn you can mistakingly associate the visual act you're witnessing with the sensations you're giving yourself. For example, say you have a thing for titty fucking scenes in porn. And let's say as you're watching, you're masturbating in a fast, intense manner. You know your body so of course it's going to feel good. But actual titty fucking probably doesn't feel like your fast, intense, just-right wanking. The true physical sensations may or may not be your cup of tea. You may find them too slow or soft for your tastes and be disappointed in the real thing. Here's another example: Maybe when you watch porn you really like the reverse cowgirl position (girl on top facing away from the guy). As a third party observer this position gives you something to look at. But when you're actually the guy all you see is the girl's back and, again, the sensations of her riding you aren't the same as the just-right wanking feelings you gave yourself when you were watching two other people doing it.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;h2&gt;Some more observations about how real sex differs from porn and the movies&lt;/h2&gt;  &lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Obviously in real life it's a lot more sweaty, clumsy, grunty, and primal than dramatic Hollywood love scenes make it out to be.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;In porn the positions are all about making the sex visable to the camera and to give you a good look at the woman's body. In real life concerns such as being close to each other often take precedence. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Personally I've never had sex under the sheets.  They just get in the way.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Personally I think having sex with all your clothes on kind of sucks (it's a bit awkward and skin on skin contact feels so much better), but you see it all the time in movies and t.v. shows (e.g., &lt;i&gt;The Sopranos&lt;/i&gt;).  Of course they've got other, more practical, reasons for portraying it like this. &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;What amuses me in movies now is what you could call the 'instant penetration.' You see it all the time if you look for it. A man and woman will be in their underwear, or even fully clothed, in some sexually charged situation. Maybe the woman is sitting on the man's lap (both in their underwear remember), or the man is standing behind the woman. The camera is focused on their faces. Then the guy will make a little movement, the woman will gasp, and then they'll close their eyes and start moaning, the implication being that the man achieved vaginal penetration off-camera. Yeah, not that quick and easy in real life. You've got to move your clothes out of the way, line things up, the guy has to be hard enough, the woman needs to be pretty wet, and often the man has to guide his penis in with his hand. Otherwise it's a much more awkward procedure.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" height="72" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPGb7beT0LhhuoU2qOrZ7k94ffKpr-L9DqKk4w04WBMB8siD60F2dWsQ148lMpAwPR-IeT47Irbye9z_vwES614wF1iGYVXUWqLi0NwTJo_nhN2HC9OFD4JnxAVQr2yfg2JHbJ3oXTIr8/s72-c/romance-2.jpg" width="72"/><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Audi TT Extreme Tuning</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/03/audi-tt-extreme-tuning.html</link><category>audi</category><category>auto</category><category>tt</category><category>tuning</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 07:11:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-8303193442015434668</guid><description>&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGX9_7xUDJMxtnPbtKq342m2v8RXXqhVSJkP7I2NPhu-IaTRByjNt3F3OTLBB8qnhBJC9mJTJM9gKiA60F0b8vMrSpmb6XcJigRYkO82ynF3T-6_M952aexRYC8nlSZha0_19IZT5gB4/s1600-h/audi-tt-4.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGX9_7xUDJMxtnPbtKq342m2v8RXXqhVSJkP7I2NPhu-IaTRByjNt3F3OTLBB8qnhBJC9mJTJM9gKiA60F0b8vMrSpmb6XcJigRYkO82ynF3T-6_M952aexRYC8nlSZha0_19IZT5gB4/s320/audi-tt-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183166651140619106" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJTQpSmt4p3JT9HIuicTclYOY2eV082aZuEzGYEX-2CP-o0_3YbkJm8Zv2tH3fxt6G_QGMXiEJ1m3K9iuJsBXpOTzk4A3eo9vK-iCU3taH5rSDmdvw37R4Ux-AJdz8-T9FR5U9Kdk_G8/s1600-h/audi-tt-3.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJTQpSmt4p3JT9HIuicTclYOY2eV082aZuEzGYEX-2CP-o0_3YbkJm8Zv2tH3fxt6G_QGMXiEJ1m3K9iuJsBXpOTzk4A3eo9vK-iCU3taH5rSDmdvw37R4Ux-AJdz8-T9FR5U9Kdk_G8/s320/audi-tt-3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183166505111731026" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_ERxEBlleYI0dBIdkD_SFetLeMPAho7YQBy45n1OmcgCdPHRztuqHtx8uZB_Cw15lsXNDVw9mcpwWyHfMRlsKs9MdAIUs8_AIo3r1vaiQresbzEmHSAS4W_1XwCPpKRZ_V716gAdPQQ/s1600-h/audi-tt-2.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_ERxEBlleYI0dBIdkD_SFetLeMPAho7YQBy45n1OmcgCdPHRztuqHtx8uZB_Cw15lsXNDVw9mcpwWyHfMRlsKs9MdAIUs8_AIo3r1vaiQresbzEmHSAS4W_1XwCPpKRZ_V716gAdPQQ/s320/audi-tt-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183166367672777538" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3jusCS1d8WTTDpYGoCNtbj4JnzJkc-EUND0qRaz0isnZPcrtV7F5JIQdk-u8fYND0FaXSxewMo7HAZvOAnF89xmRYMtrYub4aaiiHP577Go_k3heGGBa-n76vE2KB9IItYszawMz09d0/s1600-h/audi-tt-1.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3jusCS1d8WTTDpYGoCNtbj4JnzJkc-EUND0qRaz0isnZPcrtV7F5JIQdk-u8fYND0FaXSxewMo7HAZvOAnF89xmRYMtrYub4aaiiHP577Go_k3heGGBa-n76vE2KB9IItYszawMz09d0/s320/audi-tt-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183166213053954866" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;More &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.topauto10.com/search.php?aid=73022&amp;amp;q=Tt+Audi"&gt;TT Audi&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" height="72" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGX9_7xUDJMxtnPbtKq342m2v8RXXqhVSJkP7I2NPhu-IaTRByjNt3F3OTLBB8qnhBJC9mJTJM9gKiA60F0b8vMrSpmb6XcJigRYkO82ynF3T-6_M952aexRYC8nlSZha0_19IZT5gB4/s72-c/audi-tt-4.jpg" width="72"/><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item><item><title>Top 5 reasons why “The Customer Is Always Right” is wrong</title><link>http://blog-funny.blogspot.com/2008/03/top-5-reasons-why-customer-is-always.html</link><category>fun</category><category>funny</category><author>noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)</author><pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:33:00 -0700</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3920172300041533768.post-3789362776393045120</guid><description>&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://positivesharing.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/surprise.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://positivesharing.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/surprise.jpg" alt="" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;h2&gt;When the customer isn’t right - for your business&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;One woman who frequently flew on Southwest, was constantly disappointed with every aspect of the company’s operation. In fact, she became known as the “Pen Pal” because after every flight she wrote in with a complaint. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;She didn’t like the fact that the company didn’t assign seats; she didn’t like the absence of a first-class section; she didn’t like not having a meal in flight; she didn’t like Southwest’s boarding procedure; she didn’t like the flight attendants’ sporty uniforms and the casual atmosphere.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Her last letter, reciting a litany of complaints, momentarily stumped Southwest’s customer relations people. They bumped it up to Herb’s [Kelleher, CEO of Southwest] desk, with a note: ‘This one’s yours.’ &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;In sixty seconds, Kelleher wrote back and said, ‘Dear Mrs. Crabapple, We will miss you. Love, Herb.’”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; &lt;p&gt;The phrase “The customer is always right” was originally coined by Harry Gordon Selfridge, the founder of Selfridge’s department store in London in 1909, and is typically used by businesses to:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;ol&gt;&lt;li&gt;Convince customers that they will get good service at this company&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Convince employees to give customers good service&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ol&gt; &lt;p&gt;Fortunately more and more businesses are abandoning this maxim - ironically because it leads to bad customer service.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Here are the top five reasons why “The customer is always right” is wrong.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;span id="more-973"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;1: It makes employees unhappy&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;Gordon Bethune is a brash Texan (as is Herb Kelleher, coincidentally) who is best known for turning Continental Airlines around “From Worst to First,” a story told in his book of the same title from 1998. He wanted to make sure that both customers and employees liked the way Continental treated them, so he made it very clear that the maxim “the customer is always right” didn’t hold sway at Continental.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;In conflicts between employees and unruly customers he would consistently side with his people. Here’s how he puts it:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;When we run into customers that we can’t reel back in, our loyalty is with our employees. They have to put up with this stuff every day. Just because you buy a ticket does not give you the right to abuse our employees . . . &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;We run more than 3 million people through our books every month. One or two of those people are going to be unreasonable, demanding jerks. When it’s a choice between supporting your employees, who work with you every day and make your product what it is, or some irate jerk who demands a free ticket to Paris because you ran out of peanuts, whose side are you going to be on? &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;You can’t treat your employees like serfs. You have to value them . . . If they think that you won’t support them when a customer is out of line, even the smallest problem can cause resentment.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; &lt;p&gt;So Bethune trusts his people over unreasonable customers. What I like about this attitude is that it balances employees and customers, where the “always right” maxim squarely favors the customer - which is not a good idea, because, as Bethune says, it causes resentment among employees. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Of course there are plenty of examples of bad employees giving lousy customer service. But trying to solve this by declaring the customer “always right” is counter-productive.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;2: It gives abrasive customers an unfair advantage&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;Using the slogan “The customer is always right” abusive customers can demand just about anything - they’re right by definition, aren’t they? This makes the employees’ job that much harder, when trying to rein them in.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Also, it means that abusive people get better treatment and conditions than nice people. That always seemed wrong to me, and it makes much more sense to be nice to the nice customers to keep &lt;em&gt;them&lt;/em&gt; coming back.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;3: Some customers are bad for business&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;Most businesses think that “the more customers the better”. But some customers are quite simply bad for business.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Danish IT service provider ServiceGruppen proudly tell this story:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt; One of our service technicians arrived at a customer’s site for a maintenance task, and to his great shock was treated very rudely by the customer.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;When he’d finished the task and returned to the office, he told management about his experience. They promptly cancelled the customer’s contract.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; &lt;p&gt;Just like Kelleher dismissed the irate lady who kept complaining (but somehow also kept flying on Southwest), ServiceGruppen fired a bad customer. Note that it was not even a matter of a financial calculation - not a question of whether either company would make or lose money on that customer in the long run. It was a simple matter of respect and dignity and of treating their employees right.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;4: It results in &lt;em&gt;worse&lt;/em&gt; customer service&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;Rosenbluth International, a corporate travel agency, took it even further. CEO Hal Rosenbluth wrote an excellent book about their approach called Put The Customer Second - Put your people first and watch’em kick butt.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Rosenbluth argues that when you put the employees first, they put the customers first. Put employees first, and they will be happy at work. Employees who are happy at work give better customer service because:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;They care more about other people, including customers&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They have more energy&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They are happy, meaning they are more fun to talk to and interact with&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They are more motivated&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt; &lt;p&gt;On the other hand, when the company and management consistently side with customers instead of with employees, it sends a clear message that:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Employees are not valued&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;That treating employees fairly is not important&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;That employees have no right to respect from customers&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;That employees have to put up with everything from customers&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt; &lt;p&gt;When this attitude prevails, employees stop caring about service. At that point, real good service is almost impossible - the best customers can hope for is fake good service. You know the kind I mean: corteous on the surface only.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;5: Some customers are just plain wrong&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;Herb Kelleher agrees, as this passage From Nuts! the excellent book about Southwest Airlines shows:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;Herb Kelleher […] makes it clear that his employees come first — even if it means dismissing customers. But aren’t customers always right? “No, they are not,” Kelleher snaps. “And I think that’s one of the biggest betrayals of employees a boss can possibly commit. The customer is sometimes wrong. We don’t carry those sorts of customers. We write to them and say, ‘Fly somebody else. Don’t abuse our people.’”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; &lt;p&gt;If you still think that the customer is always right, read this story from Bethune’s book “From Worst to First”:&lt;/p&gt; &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;A Continental flight attendant once was offended by a passenger’s child wearing a hat with Nazi and KKK emblems on it. It was pretty offensive stuff, so the attendant went to the kid’s father and asked him to put away the hat. “No,” the guy said. “My kid can wear what he wants, and I don’t care who likes it.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;The flight attendant went into the cockpit and got the first officer, who explained to the passenger the FAA regulation that makes it a crime to interfere with the duties of a crew member. The hat was causing other passengers and the crew discomfort, and that interfered with the flight attendant’s duties. The guy better put away the hat.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;He did, but he didn’t like it. He wrote many nasty letters. We made every effort to explain our policy and the federal air regulations, but he wasn’t hearing it. He even showed up in our executive suite to discuss the matter with me. I let him sit out there. I didn’t want to see him and I didn’t want to listen to him. He bought a ticket on our airplane, and that means we’ll take him where he wants to go. But if he’s going to be rude and offensive, he’s welcome to fly another airline.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; &lt;p&gt;The fact is that some customers are just plain wrong, that businesses are better of without them, and that managers siding with unreasonable customers over employees is a very bad idea, that results in worse customer service.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;So put your people first. And watch them put the customers first.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;UPDATE:&lt;br /&gt;This post has spawned a great discussion here and one some other websites.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Top_5_Reasons_why_The_Customer_Is_Always_Right_is_wrong"&gt;Digg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“One of the consistent back up statements of “The Customer is Always Right” is the amount of dollars it costs to replace a customer. It costs more to replace a customer than to retain one most times. However, it also costs a lot more to recruit, hire, and train a new employee than it does to keep one happy.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Kinkoids Unite - a site for Kinko’s workers&lt;br /&gt;“In my region, when an employee is mentioned in a customer complaint, he/she has to apologize to all 11 center managers in a conference call whether they were wrong or wronged.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;AdultDVDTalk (huh?)&lt;br /&gt;“Unfortunately though, most companies in the customer service arena no longer even teach the basics of customer service. They just assume that it is a common-sense thing. Having spent 20 years interviewing job applicants, I can also say that there is no such thing as common sense! Just take a look at the high school and college grads showing up for job interviews in jeans and tee-shirts or chewing gum…or my favorite was the young lady who excused herself to answer her cell phone and carry on a brief but totally unnecessary conversation!”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Reddit&lt;br /&gt;“On a very, very small number of occasions in my various service roles over the years, I’ve asked customers to leave the establishment because they were incorribly belligerent, hostile and abusive, and flat-out refused to accept any attempt to satisfy them. In these cases, the people were shopping for a fight rather than a commodity.”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;a href="http://blog-funny.blogspot.com"&gt;Funny Blog&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description><thr:total xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0">0</thr:total></item></channel></rss>