Unreality Studios Presents: Projects...

2012-05-12T06:58:00.003-07:00

This is important please sign up at http://superpoints.com/refer/kuriouser it is a legit way to make free money. Once you sign up send it to you friends and money will start pouring in. I know I've made quite a bit. Secondly check out my Kate's new deviantart at http://katecornelia.deviantart.com/ it would be much appreciated. Also if nayone has money they could donate I am desperate need of some funds, not worries if you can't it would be appreciated though.

Hey everyone I know I've been busy. Life you know? In other news I am not getting money from google ad sense, they feel as though this is a scam, well screw them. In other news I'm working on an album believe it or not. Lyrics are done, not just to get everything down. In more pressing matter, well there aren't any. Just living life and hoping to relaunch all this soon. Only time will tlel. Thanks for checking this out guys. Hopefully I will not be a stranger much longer. By the way use this image to advertise for you superpoint account, I wold not be selling it like this if it didn't work. Believe you me.

An Update Worthy of a jabberwock

2011-12-21T05:58:00.000-08:00

So here we are yet once again. I just finished school with a 3.0 GPA for my first semester. I'm working non stop. I am also dealing with some deep seeded mental and emotional issues. That doesn't mean that Unreality Productions doesn't exist. Kenny is really into Jackpot, I jsut lost my memory card so I can't film any episodes right now. Kate loves doing As Is and we want to work together on a different advice column later. Kenny will laso be posting reviews of video games eventually. Let's just let Christmas pass and let me see what sthe next semester will be like. Just expect a lot more form us ok? If you have a show you have been taping or want to tape let me know. I can edit and piece it together. Of course certain credits would go to Unreality Productions. We're the little guys and we want to help out the other little guys out, that's how this works. So let me know about nay details about things you might be working on. I don't care just let me know. Hopefully we'll be having two to three shows a week depending on time. In the meant time here's some poetry I just worte, it sucks but whatevs. Keep checking out on us and any donations will be greatly appreciated! Also if you would just be generous enough to check out Kate's deviantart page http://kuriouserkate.deviantart.com/ that would be incredible. Thanks guys and keep with us. Nnow's the time to join in before Kate, Kenny, and I really start running things so get back to us asap!

Panic attack

Seizure.
Kate cooling me down with medication and stoking me
No memories of the events
So much in my mind
It’s quite now at least. Slight hallucations’
God I just my mind would slow down and focus.
Kate I love you
Everything to me no matter foolish notion in your head
Out of it
Nodding off
Listen to Kate read. It makes me feel com and smooth
I feel like I still have so much to say
What if I have a nether clarity or success
How do you even define it
As long as I get over my emotional boundaries
Kate and I will have a relationship compared that of the dear love “Anabelle Lee”
I want to know much happiness and she can ggive I to

A town filled with unnatural snow

A mist causes a loss of perception
Dealing with the darkness and hallucinations in my mind
The siren rings
There’s a heavy convulsion
Darkness overwhelms
Centralia calls
Many mysic places
With much history
A normal tourist could go
Not experience a goddamn thing
Celebration is my Silent Hill
Kate please don’t be my Mary
And I won’t be your James
Your sickness I can handle
But I fear
Is mine too much for you?
I might now hear sirens

Yet it starts with small auditory messes

That led to visual turmoil

Kate grips my hand

My mind short circuited

Singing songs and whispering non sensible phrases

For all I’m aware I rewrote the Jabberwock

So much self guilt

No wonder pyramid head is there

Yet I do no miss the seal of metatron

For the darkness inside is towards me

It kills me when it comes out onto others

Guilt and shame will haunt me for the rest of my days

Over the nightmare realm you’ve been in

So take my hand

And together we can escape this place

And the demons hiding within people
Both lost leaving clues inside our minds
Our delusionary hell
Are you truly there?
Or am I just on a wild goose chase?
I can take some comfort in knowing
The demons and monsters I created
I can handle
It’s the fear of losing you
That slows me to remember the darkness
No more overwhelming
Day by day
Talk by talk
Who am I
To let things just be
I don’t know what my future may hold
But I refuse to wait for destiny
So nightmare realm
I feel stronger with Kate
So let the sirens blow
I can carry us both to the finish
And once our time in this heel is over
We shall ascend the hotel stairs
Laden with fire
And I’ll take you by the hand
And I’ll set us free

My mind might be an epic battle

Of light versus dark
Yet I don’t fear my heart
Purity comes from there
And I will always remain true to it
Not searching for a quick solution
No need to fight
Unless I must sacrifice
My well being
To protect you and destroy
All the obstacles in our way
Speaking overloads me
I want to keep up
Yet I can’t.
I drift away, unless on pills
Then I’m just drifting differently
That’s why I need my TV and Video Games
A comfort zone
That must be destroyed

So I’m no longer stagnant

Will I experience tonight again?

Worried?

Not am I

Neither should you

So long as you take me hand
And you trust me
We’ll escape

Join the Team!

2011-12-02T20:50:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. It's been quite some time I know, between work and school I'm doing what I can. Unreality Studios is not dead just on a longer hiatus then previously thought... plus my camera died. With that being said I'm requesting three major things.

1. If you can donate money to Unreality Studios (see the paypal donate button to the side) I will work something out where either you get credit or earn profit from whatever Unreality Studios produces. Here is a minimum list of things we need.

A. Camera
B. Audio Equipment
C. Lighting
D. A Better Computer To Work on

2. Anyone in the Central Florida area who wants to work professionally on our projects.
3. Anyone anywhere willing to help develop and/or design video games.

With my time budgeted very tightly I could definitely use some assistance both work wise and financially. Like I said I will work out either giving partnership, money, credit, or whatever it may be. There are many ideas that just need to be implemented and with your help Unreality Productions is destined to be the next big name in gaming and web entertainment. Any amount will be appreciated and I will as well save any and all expenses along with receipts. So anyone wanting to help or join the current team (Kate, Kenny, and of course myself and any others who wishes to join us) would be amazing. Feel free to leave any questions. Thanks guys and the next episode of Jackpot along with As Is and a new series we are working on will air on youtube soon enough. Look forward to it I know I will. Thanks guys.

Unreality Studios Direction

2011-10-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

So today I had a meeting with the manager/owner of a video game store that sells old school video games and systems (check them out http://gameworldweb.com/ ). Jackpot might move there to it's location and we're developing new shows. We're also going to work with them on potential advertising and such. Otherwise things have been slow, with school and work and starting a Pokemon League I've had my hands full, but expect great things from us. I'll also be starting a webcomic as I stated that will be hosted on this page (until we have a full website anyway). So just keep up with us guys and feel free to e-mail us if you want to work on projects or have ideas and want to work with us and our production team. That's it. Later.

Support for Video Contest and Artist Wanted

2011-10-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

So I'm working on a couple projects right now. First and foremost is a video for a contest for school. If I win I get free tuition. My work on the video is all most done and it will be posted on facebook. Voting for it starts on the 24th of this month. So Please make sure to vote for it. I'll give you more details as time goes on. Secondly I'm working on a script for a comic and I need someone to help draw. Preferably manga style. If anyone is interested in collaborating with me on this please comment and let me know. That's what I got. I'm currently working on yet another short story so we'll see how that goes. Later.

Teen Angst Rantings From a 24 Year Old.

2011-10-03T17:45:00.000-07:00

I'm at school as I type this. The bus is coming in about ten minutes. I sit here thinking about my life and all the events that are occurring. I'm not on meds right now and I must admit that depression seems to be swallowing me right now. I'll be home with Kate soon. That will comfort me, at least a little bit. This day to day humdrum is getting to me. I have two papers due next week. I want to work on projects that I have going, but yet I don't have any desire. I submitted some of my work to the school paper in hopes of getting published. That would be fun, but I just don't know right now. The past, the present, the future. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I need to do another episode of Jackpot and at least get a video blog or something. Don't you just love a nearly 24 year old writing teen angsty shit like this? I know I do. Oh well. I guess I'll just continue fourth and see what lies ahead. Maybe things will change and get better, or the world will end. I'm fine with either or. We're all ready in a spiral so I wouldn't be surprised. Well... I don't know. That's what I got right now. Later.

What, Another Update?

2011-09-28T04:09:00.000-07:00

Blah, I was planning on having a video blog tonight, but things did not work out right. School's been getting a little tougher but don't expect to not hear from anyone at unreality studios any time soon. Lately I've been piecing together clips I've shot to do a documentary style film. We'll see how that goes. How disappointing, I had a lot to say too. Oh well. If you haven't all ready check out our youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/UnrealityStudios . I've also been helping Kate with some photography, mainly modelling which I suggest you check out at http://kuriouserkate.blogspot.com . No matter the case I have school tomorrow. I'm working on things when I can and as often as I can. If anyone is interesting in joining one of the biggest game/film production studios then give me a shout, I could use some extra help. Hopefully will have a full website soon. As for that video blog, I'll attempt to have it up sometime tomorrow. Along with maybe a short story or two, we'll see. Until later.

Unreality Studio Update

2011-09-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

Well with things finally calming down we're going to have a set schedule soon. I do have school and work but have been working with people on the studio. So all sorts of stuff going down. Cool news is I'm starting a Pokemon League as well and Kate bought me Super Mario Brothers RPG Legend of the Seven Stars in mint condition. So hell yea. Anyway don't worry things are rolling in some way. If anyone wants to assist or join in our team e-mail or message me and let me know. Anyway here's the update!

I'm done

2011-09-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

I feel done with life. I'm a fuck up. I'm not going to make through school. I know Kate's going to want to be done with me soon. There's nothing I can accomplish. I had a chance yesterday. My friend had a gun. I felt the cold steel in my mouth. I told him not to tell Kate but he did. What the fuck. There's xanax and valium and beer. If It's here and they don't get back... I'm done. I don't care anymore. I'm useless. I'm not going anywhere with my life. And if I say something different it's a lie. Fuck this life. Fuck this planet. And fuck it all. Hopefully this will be my last post. So to the few readers I have had... Thanks. Kate I love you and always will. Joseph you've been a good friend thus far. I just can't do it anymore. It's been building up inside me. Fuck it all.

Defiance.

2011-09-15T15:13:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while. I'm at a buddy's house that we met at a bright eyes concert. We want to work on movies together. I've started school and money has been tight, but my uncle lent me money until my loan comes in. I'm just worried between Kate and I. I love her, but she's in her "you need to go learn who you are" kick. Not that she's saying she doesn't want to be with me, but it still hurts. I love her so much, I would be willing to do whatever that means, even if it breaks my heart in two. No matter what roads we might take, they all lead back to her and I have faith in that. I am my own person, I just suppose she needs space. Sometimes she wants to get married isntantly other times she puts as much distance as humanly possible between us. Women. I love her and always will. Right now I have a little bit of a vacation but tons of school work to catch up on and the lack of content for the youtube page bothers me. It will all work out in the end I know it. I didn't mean to rant so much. Just wanted to get somethings out. So whatever I suppose. I'm going to have a beer and smoke. Later.

Ultimate Fighter

2011-08-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

In leu of my depression I present you with the analysis of the greatest contest of fighters ever known.

All right first assumption, they are all in the same universe. So DC, DBZ, Marvel, Pokemon, etc. All same universe. With that being said some powers would be given and some taken away. For example, Superman needs our sun's radiation to give him his strength. Therefore in an alternate universe where all characters are fighting we can rule him out. Next is the intelligence challenge. Intelligence would play a huge key role in this battle. The contenders are Mewtwo, Snake, Rorschach, and of course Batman. Now Snake may know many languages but he has put all his knowledge in simply espionage. He's out. Rorschach, highly intelligent yet that's also his weakness. Just like Bobby Fischer went insane from how intelligent he was, as did Rorschach, so he's out. Left standing? Mewtwo and Batman. Keep in mind Mewtwo has the powers of ALL pokemon through his genetic formation. This includes Alakazam whose IQ is above 5000 Batman though always has his wits about him and uses logic to a fault to where emotions never come into play, unlike Mewtwo of course. So we have a draw. Batman and Mewtwo would be on the same level. I did fail to mention Wesker's superior intelligence but let's save that shall we? Right now equal playing ground, same universe we rule out Snake, Superman, and Rorsach (though a tough fight they would put up in deed). Next is the question of Ki and energy. Superman never truly had to train, so again he's out. The DC universe has either highly intelligent people, aliens, magic users, or scientists forced with Special abilities. Ki, magic, energy, would also be a deciding factor. If in theory the character can't use those things, they lost. Same with intelligence, without high intelligence and being strategic they too would lose. So let's study this further. Before we get back to the original concept of magic let's point out who would not stand a chance. The Terminator could not. Without emotion or will of his own he is but a machine and therefore lacks the humanity the other fighters theoretically have. The Hulk can not contain himself so therefore would be useless against those who can keep themselves in check, again we see the same thing with Tetsuo who barely recognizes their own power and would destroy themselves. It's also important to assume they are fighting for something because some characters would choose not to fight. This enhances the odds to specific characters (mainly the good guys naturally). If it's a show of power it's safe to say many of the contenders would stay out. All right I'm getting all over the place here. Here's who would not stand a chance. Terminator (he's only metal and can not heal on his own nor does he feel pain so cannot heal his wounds, also lacks the ability to use ki). As said to say it Rorschach would not win either, he is beyond hte point of insanity. While highly intelligent and skilled in battle, he simply could not curb his own abilities. The Hulk for pretty much the same reasons (except power over intelligence). Tetsuo for the same reasons as well.Kratos is interesting. While he can use some magic and defeat Gods, his intelligence isn't high enough to effectively use proper combat strategy smash and destroy is not a strategy just a quick way to die against a better opponent. The Mask would not win either, while powerful remove it and destroy it is an easy enough tactic. Kefka is realistic far too weak, while seemingly capable, his powers are limited. Superman, simply because all characters are in the same universe at the moment and without the sun's radiation, he's useless. And Finally Darth Vader, while the force is a form of ki he abides to the will of the dark side and lacks the ability to focus the power for himself (even Anakin Skywalker wouldn't be much of a match for the rest of the fighters). So that leaves us with potential victors. So who will go home champion? Let's see...

So now we're left with potential victors. This list includes
Sephiroth
Alex Mercer
Snake
Ganandorf
Goku
Dante
Scorpion
Wesker
Vash
Deadpool
Ezio
Nightmare
Akuma
Batman
Wolverine
Mewtwo

However we can easily remove Sephiroth from the list, along with Vash for important reasons. Sephiroth has the same issue as Roschach. His reasoning is simply not there and just like Kefka is not as powerful as he seems. Vash lacks the intelligence necessary to compete. Intelligence isn't everything (we still have Goku among others) but he does lack will to fight and the wisdom other fighters have. Deadpool because, well much like the majority (if not all the characters here) swift blade through the head he's dead, he's also like Vash too comical at times and could easily make a mistake and fall. So we're all most at the end guys we've depleted.

Alex Mercer
Snake
Ganandorf
Goku
Dante
Scorpion
Wesker
Ezio
Nightmare
Akuma
Batman
Wolverine
Mewtwo

Here are the true contendents. Based on power, intelligence, and pure will, these will be the ones left standing. We do find some issues with a few characters left though don't we? Scorpion is essentially undead, and while well trained lacks the capacity to use true Ki. So he's off. Snake at this point is way too old and has put all his training into hiding and sneaking around which most other fighters would see clearly right away. Akuma is powerful but lacks the intelligence of the remaining fighters. Ganandorf is nothing without the triforce and since Superman is gone do to the lack of the earth's sun, we can assume the same for the triforce (also he acts more of a commander then fighter at times it would seem). Alex Mercer wouldn't have the skills either. So the list is all most empty.

We're now at
Goku
Dante
Wesker
Ezio
Nightmare
Batman
Wolverine
Mewtwo

Here we have the true contestants. Each with abilities, powers, and intelligence beyond any mortal means. The are only three in logic who would stand to fight each other after everyone else falls. Who and why? Dante is an excellent fighter but his demon form runs out far too quickly and his brashness for bringing down pain would drain him of that quickly. Wolverine may regenerate, but does not have the intelligence to stand up to someone who would be smart enough to remove his head no matter the means. Nightmare is ismply that, just a nightmare. More of a puppet then anything it woul seem. He is single minded and would fall to the others especially without his intelligence. Ezio maybe an assassin, but no more no less. He is only trained to wait, which in this fight no matter the patience would get you killed. So I lied. We're left with four all powerful players. Ones whose powers if combined would destroy all

Goku
Wesker
Mewtwo
Batman

They are the only four worthy of challenges to each other. So how does it end?

It would end in a draw between Batman and Mewto. The reasoning? Wesker has the intelligence and skkill to stand up to the other opponents but lacks the deep wisdom, patience, and skill Batman has. Remember how we keep bringing up the same universe? In theory Batman would be able to use ki if it existed in the DC universe. Wesker would be able to as well but Batman has had far more training. Goku and Wesker would be an equal fight. Wesker seemingly has Super Sayain abilities so no use going there. Mewtwo would easily defeat either Goku or Wesker simply because of his telekinesis being able to destroy Goku's heart (which we all know is vulnerable) and same with Wesker. So why not Batman? simply he has dedicated his life to fighting and learning. Goku was born a fighter. Therefore just instictually trained and his need to fight stronger opponents is a downfall that needs to be taken into consideration whereas Batman dedicated his life to learning the ways of different masters and techniques. Wesker was artificially created and as hard to say as it is, if a dual rocket launcher can destroy him, then the other three would have an easy time no matter his speed or intelligence. Mewtwo would remain due to his absolute power and intelligence. Along with Batman. BAtman's ki would in theory be greater then any SSJ level Goku could obtain and would be able to in theory play a game of chess with Mewtwo which would end in a draw since both powers are equal. However we do miss a valid point. Batman swore to destroy evil. Mewtwo may not have evil intents but Batman's sheer will would overcome Mewtwo's own ego.

So simply put the winners would be in order

1. Batman
2.Mewtwo
3.Wesker
4.Goku

And if you disagree... SUCK IT!

Meh

2011-07-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Here I am yet again. Not truly much to type. Been working all most everyday. I have a full length movie I hope to premiere soon. I also have a marketing client. All the projects with Unreality Studios has been put on hold while I try to figure some shit in my life out. Right now I feel more depressed then I have in a long time. I beat Megaman X again and I'm playing through the entire series, all with one question. Why? I enjoy video games, but it's no longer my priority. I wanted to get back into the Pokemon TCG but I frgot how expensive it is and even though I'm going to try and compete, right now money needs to go elsewhere. I also go royally screwed with financial aid. So I guess I'm not starting school this semester. Life is slipping me by. Sometimes the only thing I feel like I have to grasp onto is my fiancee. If not for her... better not too think about it. I just need to figure this all out, then again how different am I in that regard that anyone else? There is an answer right? There's a reason... am I eing a fool by believing that? I can't be, sometimes it's that some glimmer of hope that is what we need to keep us going, but even the strongest thread eventually tears under pressure. I'll be fine after some sleep I guess. Expect some legit updates soon.

Jackpot The Pilot

2011-06-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

Well here's the pilot episode of Unreality Proudction's first webshow, Jackpot! It's a show about everything, with, as Kenny put it in the Unreality Productions intro, a black guy! This is only one of many shows. I'll be uploading Stairwell Confessions which is Kate and my own personal show about our lives and just things we discuss and Kate's show As Is soon enough. Oh yea also Blog of the Week. For now anyway here's Jackpot! The Pilot Part 1! Make sure to subscribe and follow us on youtube!

Finally an update!

2011-06-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

So finally an update after forever and a day, but I finally have projects off the ground. Unreality Productions has it's first video up on youtube. Subscribe and follow our various shows. Right now the intro is up and I'm uploading the pilot episode of our first show Jackpot. Jackpot is a weekly show where... well just check it out. My blog of the week will als continue in video form. The first Unreality Productions Vlog will be up soon enough. Also look forward to my fiancee's show. So for now go check us out at http://www.youtube.com/user/UnrealityStudios

And of course here's our first video! Go follow us add comments etc etc. Thanks guys look forward to big things in the future from us!

Well that's one things off hte list, 999,999,999 more to go.

2011-05-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

Oh god has my life been a nightmare (Well if you've been following this blog what more where you expecting me to say at this point?). Fortunately some things are looking on the up and up. I've been extremely busy because I some how managed to become my fiancee's nad future mother-0in-law's web designer. So when I'm not working I'm dumping a lot of time into building two websites. LEt me tell yea, finding which hosting service to use was not easy. Here's what I did though after hours of research .I used Godaddy to register the domain names. Once I successfully finished that I turned around to hostgator to use a shared server service for the sites. With the features I need and the low monthly cost and good customer service, it seemed like the right choice.

There's also the matter of me getting into school. Still deciding whether I'm going to go to a community college to get my AS first or jump right in and go to Full Sail. Hard choice. Then there's the 50 billion other projects I'm working on. I need to relax, but with a limited amount of vidja games at the moment that seems hard. I guess I need to work hard now to relax later. Oh well. Off too do about a billion more things.

BLAH

2011-05-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well depression is kicking in swiftly. I'm afraid to sleep anymore. Blogger was down last night so I could get through my necessary blog readings and comment posting so sorry about that I'll find time later today to it do. My bank account is overdrawn $43 and I'm trying to get into school but need at minimum $75. Yea I'm bitching about petty finances, but when your a server they don't seem too petty now do they? What really sucks is I have so many good ideas but my mind keeps jumping from one idea to the next, worst pat is I've been lost in such a deep depression I don't even want to play video games. Damnit how much lower can you go then that? Oh well, in other news my other blog will have it's first blog of the week up so go check that out guys. Don't forget to follow and cast your vote for next week. I have some blog reading to do so don't be surprised if you get some comments from me.

Venting

2011-05-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

So I have an issue with sleep. More specifically I have somniphobia due to terrible nightmares. Needless to say sleep has not come easy for me, especially lately. I've also been freaking out trying to harcore study math and programming for the fall semester since I'm going to school. Here's the issue though. I was awoken by a knock on my door. I live in an apartment building that has neighbors who can't mind their own fucking business and some sort of association in charge that's a bunch of nazis. Literal nazis. I'm talking white supremacist assholes who unless you act according to their standard they are ready to evict you. Typically I would raise hell but I live with my fiancee along with her mom. The three of us are smokers. Nothing I'm proud of. Yet we're still human beings right? So why is it ok that because I work late and sleep during the day that I hear yelling from adults and children every morning? And why is it not ok for me to smoke out front of our apartment or in the stairwells (which I can note there is NOTHING anywhere saying I cannot do this?)? Why do we have to put up with other people's shit yet because I smoke I have to get complaints, oh best of all was today we got a threat of eviction. This is discrimination against us because we smoke. I want to also point out that we tried putting on black out curtains but where immediately told to take them down. What a bunch of fucking assholes. I can't wait to move out of this place and when I do I am raising Hell on earth. I am talking potential lawsuits up the ass.

Something else I need to vent about is right now my day (or should I say night) job is a waiter. I serve people. Now I don't work at the most classiest of places but I like where I work. Except one issue. Why don't people EVER FUCKING TIP? I get $4.25 for being treated like shit. Honestly it's an insult A DIRECT INSULT to not tip. Worst of all is people who bitch when I add 15% gratuity on parties of 8 or more. I'll repeat that. I add a mere 15% on a bill that's anywhere 60-120 dollars. So people are so cheap that they can spend that much on dinner but because they think that I get paid otherwise it's ok to bitch about having to pay an extra 8-18 dollars? Fuck you people. For those who do tip, thank you. For servers it's not just about the money, it's literally you telling us that we are doing a good job and that you appreciate us not just someone whose doing extremely hard work for you but you recognize we are human beings. So fucking tip even if it's only 10%.

Final thing I want to say is thanks for all the followers. I try to get around to returning the favor and comment on others blogs as much as I can but obviously life for me is wicked busy.

In blog related news I am working on multiple projects with the assistance of my fiancee. Stories, games, that whole arrangement of fun things. I know as of right now this blog is everywhere but once I have things straightened out then I'll have a more cohesive blog going. In the mean time tomorrow will be my first blog of the wekk so be sure to check that out ( http://blogaweek.com ). Thanks for the support guys. Later.

Heads up.

2011-05-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

Just a quick heads up been getting a lot of comments about this blog, it iwll survive and this will be my main blog which will be all my pet projects and updates on them. I just found something to focus energy on that won't be nearly as hard as the original story a week project. Expect demos on games I'm working on, short stories, youtube vids I upload, and insane rantings among other things. So follow both blogs (this one for the insanity and indie gamiing and art perspective) and the other one for a not just one but 3 awesome blogs a week. Thanks for the support guys! Also working and going to school don't mean to sound desperate but want to spend more time on the two blogs and game development and design so donations will help (see side bar with paypal). So thanks guys! Also donations on either of my blogs = actual prizes for winners of blog of the week blogs I have. So keep that in mind. I need to sleep though. I'm not tired... but... I don't know. Thanks guys.

Blog of the Week

2011-05-10T23:36:00.000-07:00

So while working on my crazy projects and going through what makes me insane and how insane I am I started another little blog simply blog of the week. You should check it out at http://blogaweek.blogspot.com I'll simply choose cool blogs I find and share it with you all like it or not... as for this one... well the plan continues and I'm going to be using it as a place for rantings, ideas, and projects I'm attempting to work on along with finished ones. In the mean time working hard on this paranormal thing, there's an area I live close to that has something really weird to it. I plan to go out collect some data and analyze later. Here goes a lot actually.. At least I slept last night for the first time in Bruce Campbell knows how long...

Quick Update

2011-05-10T13:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting because I think I've made the biggest discovery in parapsychology since the use of infrared cameras nad I've been experimenting. The idea came from my fiancee who also is helping with it. So that's why it's been slow here. Also trying to get in school along with work isn't making things easy. Oh and there's that whole insanity thing that I have to deal with from time to time. Though, if I'm correct (which so far all my work and studies have shown nothing but progress and a definite theory) I could change the way parapsychology is looked at. Though I have to say, I have been having weird chills lately and terrible nightmares. Not that the two are related, but you never know...

That Same Ol' Fraudulent Feelin

2011-04-29T02:45:00.000-07:00

Been working. Non stop.I've been working. Either it's been at my job or some project. I was in an accident a few days ago. Bike accident. I'm fine. At least I believe I am. There's been non stop agonizing pain for a while now. My should is bruised and my elbow is beyond cut up. Work has been draining me. I have two days off now. I know I should spend it resting, but the ideas in my head keep piling up. So much content needs to be created. I have so much I'm aiming for. So many goals and aspirations. I need to stop, think, rest, relax. I haven't even been able to design a simple website for my fiancee yet, and that's the easiest thing I can do (besides writing simple stories). It's like it's all locked up in there. I had an interesting conversation the other day. I've never been one to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone (not that I've had many to do that with) and the majority of the time I look to the comfort of strangers online. My fiancee and I made a breakthrough and progress in my own mental health. I feel the ability to confide in a real person. Sounds silly, but unless you know the absolute fear present when you're alone most of your life to have a true relationship and to open up completely... then you will never understand these words. Hopefully she's right and the things I've been seeing are just my stressed out brain. So why did she also see the shadow in the hotel that one night? We have similar issues and both have stress. God I just don't know right now. I'm just ranting about nothing it seems. I need some rest. I think a major issue I have is my lack of dedication and direction I have with this blog. I feel fraudulent sometimes I guess. I just don't want to think about it I suppose. I'll have something really good to post by Monday. Along with some... I don't know. Anyway Here's a short story...

It was about 11:30 last night. She wasn't feeling well but none the less a bike ride to the bar to try and relax seemed like the best idea possible. The previous week and even day was excruciatingly difficult. A few beers would have to calm us down. I mean, I can't. I can't even begin to fathom what could have happened. Or even why. This is crushing me. I was in front of her. It was dark sure, but it wasn't like we were biking down a dirt road with no lights or houses. It was the middle of town. As I was riding I heard the click clack of a bike that needed some grease, or oil, or whatever it might be. It's just really difficult to think that she's gone. I'm trying to pull myself together to tell you. It's incredible, this story I know, but I need someone to believe me. I just lost the love of my life damnit! All right give me a second to calm down...

You know how kids are afraid of the dark? I know this is a bit of a tangent but in order to understand the rest of what I have to say you must listen to this. What if what parents put off as an overactive imagination was real? If there was more to the darkness? If the imagination was more just images created by the brain and it was a gateway? That's why I believe this is my fault. They knew I had knowledge on them and the time was coming close to me finally doing something about them…

I don't need you judging me. I know I have enough problems mentally, but I would never hurt her. I have nothing to do with her disappearance. Before we left, I was researching paranormal phenomena and horror stories. My mind craves it. She always warned me it was too much, that I was too sensitive. I think part of her was afraid of me finding myself in too deep with something terrible. She warned me. SHE WARNED ME! It should have been me. God, why her? I need a minute...

I'm all right to continue. I was reading about shadows and creatures that live inside them. There are so many stories about how children have perfect vision and the only defense is to lose that sight and forget the nightmares. Those who don't, well either they are considered crazy or just vanish. Well I wrapped things up and before we left something moved in the corner of my eye, just a shadow. I've seen them before. I've always attributed it to my overactive imagination. I should have known. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

I'm relaxed now. Well as I was saying, she was in back. As we were biking I mean. It wasn't even a mile away. Maybe two. I was never good with distance or time. I yelled back to her "ARE YOU OK?" she didn't answer but I heard the click clack of the bike. So I kept going. I should have stopped sooner though. I looked back and couldn't see her even though I heard the bike so I stopped. As I stopped I saw to the side a shadow. There wasn't anyone out. I know there wasn't. It was too tall to be a normal human's shadow. It was much darker then any normal shadow. I stayed at it. I thought I saw a glimmer of red where its eyes would be but I heard a scream and turned by head. There was the bike, but she was gone. She was gone. Gone...

The shadow. It was gone too. It thought it was me. It knew I could see it? WHY WOULD IT TAKE HER INSTEAD? I'm not crazy. I swear I'm not. It was real. On the way here I saw the shadows, more. Of course no one will believe me. Not unless you indulge yourselves in the morbid and unreal. I did and this is where I am for it.

That’s why it was there. It knew I could do that, and it knew I enjoyed it. I’m sure there’s more then just one. I don’t know though. Shadow people, boogeymen, demons, there’s so many names for them. All I know is that they are real. They need us to survive. Don’t laugh. I’ve been laughed at all my life! I’m not crazy… I just need to… I need to get her back. She was my love. We were going to get married… God why…

Please I need to get her back. The shadows... I think I can fight them. I just need time alone, in the dark. I know how to get there. It's easy, anyone can find them. Children do it all the time. All you have to do is sit in the dark quietly for a few minutes... hey! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DON'T LEAVE! I'M NOT READY TO FACE THEM! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

That was the end of the interview tape. The officers left the room to discuss the unusual case and call the aid of a mental health council to get an opinion while locking the young man in the room alone. Examination of the tape shows the door shutting and lights going out without cause and after a few minutes the door is opened but the officers could not find the young man anywhere. Instead of alerting any public to the mysterious circumstances surrounding the case it is advised that any information regarding the case be filed away without any questions asked. It will be hard for the families but for safety measures they will be informed simply that the young man (evidentially disturbed) escaped police custody and a continuing effort is being put forward to find the missing young woman.

Official Police Transcript Dated 6/8/06, two days after the original report. There is no record of continued effort or reappearance of the suspect or the young woman. Officers involved with the case have refused to comment and have since left the force. It’s important to note that there are quite a number of unsolved disappearances a year. The truth behind the case may never truly be known.

Kicked in

2011-04-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

Adderall is finally kicking in. Not feeling as depressed or... far gone... Xanax helps too I'm going to be away for a few days. I need to recover from this place. Something just botrs me here. No I'm not pulling a Jay (props for those who get the reference) just... I'll still be working and need to set upa definite plan of action for all hte project I have going on. Don't think I haven't given up on the 52 stories idea... I just... need some time for other things and to figure "certain" things out. Also promised my fiancee I'd help her start an online art gallery for her work so that may take some time. I really need to get my act together, drugs or no drugs, it's still stressful. I suppose that's true for everyone though. Just wait until the next post though...

A Collaboration

2011-04-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

Woke up.... took the adderall... work today. I hate work. I just feel like I can't. I can't be a burden either. Need to get ready for school in the fall. Missed my Doctor's appointment. Need a psychologist too. I'm sitting on my balcony. At least it's day. At night I swear I see things from up here. Shadows and strange lights. What if there is something dark here following me? I don't want to be insane. I need to check all this out tonight. I'll have pictures. My game and documentary needs to get made along with some stories. Adderall hasn't kicked in. SO my mind is everywhere. Am I the same person when I'm on it? If it's not real will I miss the delusions? At least no Pyramid head in my dreams. Worried about my fiancee...

These are a series of poems that were a collaboration between my fiancee and I... I need to get my head out of whatever fog it is and work on something new...

A dark hymn flows through the air

I glance to see if anyone else does hear

It's apparent the haunting tune plays solely in my mind

It's like the music in a movie that warns you that trouble is close behind

And yet as if welcoming it I blissfully do not hinder it's bind

For since my loss there is no equal worry

And oddly the melody comforts me

At the edge of insanity

Where only a small breeze would send me off completely

Somehow, something unseen

Is holding ever so gently

If only I knew what

Or who

Cared enough to save me

A hallway with locked doors

Would it even matter if I knew which one was yours

Even worse so there are many seperate floors

I know I have it in me to find what I came here looking for

I just prefer working beside you as it was before

Without you I keep finding myself with new sores

Funny how love only hurts when it's no longer yours

How I curse my mind's corridors

Isn't it ironic I find myself in such metaphors

How fickle time is and just like a flame

It dances and bellows it's just a shame

That change is it's game

And the problem with games is the rules never change

Yet we're a race constantly evolving

And learning new ways of cheating

Anything for a better chance of winning

We are continuously forsaking

No one ever asked us if we wanted to play

So of course we feel we deserve a say

But time is never ending and we have an expiration date

There in lies humanity's saving grace that it never gives into fate

Much like a powerful blow to the face

Reality is always there to hit you and remind of the constant paper chase

So why is it so wrong some people can find that saving grace

Or be jealous of those who have nothing but time to waste

Is it a surprise this society is based on addiction and making haste

We're not individuals we're just there to take the previous person's place

So when is it we get to set our own pace

How do people enjoy life when they don't get a break from this rat race

Walking amongst the mountains out west

Fearful of the magnitude that they possess

For if I lose my way if they ever find my body is anyone's guess

You would think this would amount to a lot of stress

But this is only true if a weak soul you possess

For the beauty and the spirituality that these peaks embody

While filling my soul with the works of Frost

I wonder at the cost

Of humanity's seperation from mother nature's theator

How long can our race survive living at odds with our creator

No matter how hard people try to convince themselves

Humanity forgetting who was always by it's side

Men beliving that they are free to commit matricide

Committing those who oppose their breathen's ideals

They too will be condemned in the end

For each species we endanger

We bring ourselves one step closer

To an epic disaster

That will end our rain of destruction

Caused by our own construction

Staring out the window on the passenger side

Focusing on the rain crashing down on the window pane

Watching beads of water gather and get stronger

Until the weight pulls them down in a quick stream of water

And just stops and goes back to being a small bead

Pyramid head

2011-04-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

I must be tired. The cuts on my hand... they look strange too me. I took adderall again today. It subdued the depression and lack of sanity I've been feeling lately. I need to stay on it. I've all ready been to that other side. My only fear remains... what if it isn't my imagination? What if I'm not crazy? There are things we can't explain. Maybe the depression and anxiety I feel is a punishment for something I did. I have been having bizarre dreams, one of the most bizarre was being locked in an abandoned warehouse, zombies and monsters running amock. And who comes along. FUCKING. PYRAMID. HEAD. What if there's more to dreams then just random images from our daily lives or our minds trying to tell us something? What if there's a connection? My mind... I don't know where it is anymore. I'll post writing up later I guess...

Doctors office

2011-04-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

At the doctors office. Not for me but my fiancee. Really wish I had a smartphone and her windows7 phone had a blogspot app. I should probably be seeing him too but I don't have the financial means to. Even if I did would I want to ignore it? What if this is all real and not just In my head. I can't risk it though. Just a couple more nights without sleep then i should be better. The injuries are not any better but need to grin and bare it. I dont want any of this. She's my last thread to this nightmare called reality. Someone help!