Talk and Tea Leaves

Behind the Smile

2014-08-14T06:49:00.001-07:00

I've been struggling with writing this post for the last couple of days. I wrote it, I deleted it, I wrote it again. I saved it. And here I am again, re-writing, editing, thinking... and I'm still not sure I want

to post it... but here it is.

Monday night I was at a family dinner celebrating my parents' birthdays. Out of the blue my brother-in-law says "Oh my God, Robin Williams killed himself!" Understandably, everyone's reaction was the same: "What?!" And over the past couple of days we've been inundated with posts about his life, his amazing works, and perhaps not surprisingly quite a few posts about mental illness, specifically depression.

Let me be clear: The last flipping thing I want to do is capitalise on the unfortunate and very sad death of someone who brought millions of people joy and laughter. That is NOT the point of this post. In fact, not referring to it in my blog has been my main reason for not posting this piece again and again over the past few days. But I just have to speak to something that I keep seeing in the media and on facebook and twitter.

Almost all of the posts that take issue with people's reaction to Robin Williams' death start with or reference the tweet that Evan Rachel Wood & The Academy posted:

And yes, I know - using the words "You're Free" are not helpful for people who may be contemplating suicide. We don't want people who are suicidal to associate their self-imposed deaths with freedom, because, obviously, we don't want them to kill themselves. This is all forgetting that "Genie, you're free" is a direct quotation from the movie Aladdin.

But here's the thing: how on earth in the middle of what might possibly be an excellent opportunity to discuss how people suffering from mental illness like depression and anxiety perceive their own deaths do we go to bashing how people are mourning the loss of someone who had such a positive affect on so many lives?

And now the part that people are going to freak on me for writing: I get it. I understand the idea that death = freedom when you're depressed. I've been there. Do I need to say it again? I'm not advocating suicide.... but I do understand this concept.

And I feel like those who are so adamantly criticizing this tweet and it's idea are those who have never been there. Because quite often, people have absolutely no clue what's going on behind the smile. And perhaps Mr. Williams is a prime example of this.

I have dealt with depression and anxiety for a while now. And at the depths of my darkness I can honestly tell you that, while I was not suicidal, I had many moments of "wouldn't it be better?"

Wouldn't my kids be better off with a mom who's not so sad all the time?
Wouldn't my hubby be better off without a wife who's so incapable of doing... um... anything?
Wouldn't my family be better off if they didn't have to worry about me so much?
Wouldn't my friends be better off if they didn't have to listen to my shit?

Maybe not immediately - I wasn't so idiotic to believe that people wouldn't mourn me if I were gone... but eventually - EVENTUALLY - grief fades. Anyone who's ever lost someone knows that... and I had those moments. Wouldn't it be better if I were dead?

And now I'm medicated, daily, to deal with my depression and my anxiety. It no longer reaches crippling heights on a daily basis.

And I smile, and I laugh. I bake cakes, I take my kids to the park, I go out with friends, I travel, I write a fun and somewhat silly blog about mom fashion.

I also yell too much at my kids, worry excessively that the doors aren't locked, or my kids will get hurt, or that I did or didn't take my pills on time. And sometimes I lock myself in our bathroom and sit on the floor and cry for the person that I'm not anymore - and may never be again.

That is what's behind my smile. And until this point - most of you wouldn't have a clue.

So while I will mourn Robin Williams in my own way, and while I don't advocate equating suicide with freedom.... I still get it. I understand. Sometimes you have no idea what's behind the smile.

Rest Well Robin. We will certainly miss you.

Tea.

Northward Bound

2014-07-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

We're coming up on the Civic Holiday weekend here in Canada. And for the past many years this has been a weekend where my family (my parents, my sisters and I and our respective families) head up north to our family cottage to get a little silly and crazy and have a general good time. Unfortunately this year our youngest sister won't be able to join us but we're still looking forward to a great weekend of swimming, sunning, bonfires, games and cottage dance parties.

There's just something about the cottage. I spent most of every summer growing up there. I got engaged and married there. I've spent countless birthdays, family celebrations, corn roasts, boat rallies and Canada Days up there. I would live there if I could...

I often joke that if it weren't for the fact that I'm so obviously addicted to things like social media, digital photography and my e-reader that I should have been born in a different century. I love to do things like knit and crochet, sew, and I put up tonnes of homemade pickles and jams each year. And there's something about being up north, where our cell phones don't work and there's no Internet that just.... refreshes my soul. I usually bring my guitar and my yoga mat. And I spend a lot more time sitting, drinking tea and talking to my family members - live and in person than I normally do. Getting up early to go and do yoga on the dock as the sun burns the fog off the water, drinking tea in Adirondack chairs, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over a bonfire, and singing silly songs with my Dad and my kids while I play my guitar... those are the things that have real, honest, value in my life.

I look at this weekend away as a kind of retreat. I will miss you bloggies - but I will return to my normal, electronically filled life far too soon - but for now - I'm packing up and heading northward bound. One of the places my heart calls home.

Hope you're having a peace and rest-filled weekend too!
Talk soon.
Tea.

On Track.... ish

2014-07-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

Wow - it's been a while blog-o-sphere - sorry about that.
Two things:
1) I'm going to start posting here more regularly - promise. HOWEVER, I may post about boring/weird/awkward/bizarre situations that are generally just, y'know LIFE. Ugh. So, consider this your fair warning. If you wish to just be amused and not challenged in any way shape or form by the internets then please click here instead: Go fun times!

2) I will not be posting What Mama Wears on Talk and Tea Leaves any longer. WMW has it's own new shiny home. And it can be found right here! What Mama Wears

SO - what's new, you ask? (Well thanks for askin!) Um, everything and nothing. Obvs. I'm still unemployed, except that my little sister and I have a totally home-based, friends of friends cake business! Yay! Actually it's super fun, we have a great time baking and creating and we want to share the love of cake (Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeee) with everyone. It's called Candy Girls Cake Co. Because we both used to have the last name Candy! And it's so sweet! And fun! And kitschy! And this is a lot of exclamation points!

Other than that. I've gained weight. Ugh. So not fun, but terribly terribly true. Which is one of the reasons I've started up WMW again because let's be honest, plus-sized clothing for tall girls with boobage is so ugh.

My kiddos are SO big now. We went on our first ever family vacation with just the 4 of us - yippee! Except that we decided to drive from Ontario to Alberta to stay in Calgary with friends. The staying in Calgary with friends part was AWESOME, the driving 40 hours there and 40 hours back with 2 kids in a jam-packed 20 year old Nissan Sentra was..... less.... awesome.

My littl'un is actually going to start school in September - all day, every day Junior Kindergarten. Which means..... Mama is going to be lookin for a job! But I need that job to have me work Mon-Fri between like 9:30am to 2:30pm... I know, right - TONNES of options. But I digress.

So now - because you've been such good little readers, I will leave you with some pictures from our family vacay - just the highlights here kids!

Talk soon!
Tea

My boys, hangin at the Hoodoos!

For reals kids! That's the woodchipper from Fargo! Yeah? Yeah! Jeez!

Just me, holdin hands with Toby Keith like it's NBD

Dog River! Word!

Corner Gas Baby!

The Ruby! Hey, Kids! Get that F & E off my lawn!

Littl'un and his buddy T-Rex at the Royal Tyrell Museum, Drumheller

Best. Day. Ever.
Hubs? Can we move to Banff?

Corner of Moose & Squirrel in Downtown Banff

STAMPEDE!

Miss you so much already! Friends are the Family you choose. :)

Make it: Advent wreath

2013-11-27T10:59:00.000-08:00

So, I'm officially fed up with the crazed commercialization of Christmas. My kids are on complete overdrive! It seems like the second that Hallowe'en was over, Christmas advertising started.

Recently, we asked our boys why we have Christmas - their responses were expected: Santa! Presents! Christmas Tree!

Boy oh boy - we have some work to do.

I asked them if they knew WHY we celebrate Christmas? Nope. I asked them if they knew what Advent was? No clue.

We decided that this year, as a family, we would work on what Advent means to us, as Christians in today's world. It's a time of preparation, of anticipation, and rejoicing. To help remember these lessons I made an advent candle wreath for our home, which we will light with the boys each Sunday evening of Advent before they go to bed. That, along with the advent calendar of books I'm preparing (another post) we're hoping to have some real, honest, open discussions with our boys about why we celebrate Christmas, what we believe, and how to make that a part of our everyday lives.

Onto the project!
I started by gathering supplies:

- Grapevine wreath (Michael's $4.99)
- votive candles (Walmart, $1 ea)
- White pillar candle (Walmart $2)
- Christmas decorative sprigs (Michael's $1.69 ea)
- side cutters
- scissors
- LED light pack (Michael's $7.50)
- labels
- twine or leather stringing

Step 1

Cut apart the decorative sprigs using the side cutters and weave them into the top of the wreath for some colour

Note the quality control inspector ^

Step 2

Weave the LED light string into the wreath from the bottom

Step 3

Using hot glue, glue the four votive candle holders evenly spaced around the wreath.
Step 4

Create Hope, Peace, Joy & Love labels for each of the four votive candles. The Joy candle is the pink candle
Step 5

Using leather stringing or twine place a dot of glue on the back of the candle holder to start to attach the string, wrap a couple of times around the votive, slide on the label, and then keep wrapping until the end of the string. Secure with hot glue.

Place somewhere in your house and put the white Christmas/Christ candle in the centre.

Voila! Family advent wreath. :)

Here's a couple of resources for Advent and kids that I have been using to help me prepare for this season with my kids:

http://ministry-to-children.com/advent-lessons-nativity/
http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Advent/preparing-children.html
http://simplekids.net/advent-2012/
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/holidays/making-meaningful-christmas-memories/celebrate-advent.aspx

How are you celebrating the season of Advent with your kids? Do you have any go-to resources?
Here's to the season of waiting, anticipating, and preparing.

Tea.

Back in the thick of things

2013-10-09T21:18:00.003-07:00

Hello dear Readers,

Sorry I've been away for so long - the summer was insanely busy and having both the kiddos with me at all times makes it pretty difficult to keep up with the blogging as well as everything else.

Crazy things happening over the summer - aside from our regular back and forth between home and cottage - we finally managed to hire a new minister at our church (Yay!) and he and his family were getting settled. Then with September we kicked back into high gear with the big'un in SK and me and the little one settling into our regular day to day.

On a sour note: we had a flood at our house. :( Literally came home and the hubs said "It's raining in the basement!" Not even joking. Ceiling came down, floor is ripped up, our downstairs bathroom is going to have to be gutted, replacing the electrical panel and all kinds of other joyous little things. Ugh.

On an up note: The cake business with my lil' sis has been swinging merrily along, and I'm going to share some of our creations with you - let us know what you think!
Animal cake we made for our HeyOl'man for his birthday...

Our first ever topsy-turvy cake!

A special cake for my gorgeous Mama-in-law's 60th birthday. :)

A fall wedding cake with our first try at handmade gumpaste tiger lilies!

My little pony cake!

Nana nana nana nana, Nana nana nana nana - BATCAKE!

I promise I'll be more with the updating now that we're sort of settled back into life

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Coral Lace

2013-07-21T12:44:00.001-07:00

I love all the lace that's in stores lately. Though, admittedly, I have a hard time finding a way to wear lace without looking too much like a doily.
I mean, seriously. Cream coloured lace on me makes it look like I'm waiting for someone to put a bowl of pot-pourri down on me.

Then I found this sweet little coral lace dress at Dressbarn this past weekend and thought - well, that ain't your Grandma's doily!

Pairing a lace dress with some fun accessories, like a bright bangle and some statement rings can take lace from being frumpy and to fun.

What do you think?

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Links and Stripes - Pin to Real LIfe #6 -

2013-07-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

I love these two pieces separately, but was always concerned that putting them together looked a little... well.. HEEEEY Sailor! ;)

Y'know what I mean.

But after seeing these few pins like this one, this one, and especially this one with the big links necklace I was convinced to give it a try. I actually quite like how this outfit came out!

Pairing this boatneck striped shirt and red capris with some navy boat shoes, a funky link necklace and some sweet rose earrings felt just right to wear to a summer evening family party for my sister's birthday.

Pants: Rickis/ Top: Old Navy/ Shoes: Walmart/ Necklace & Earrings: Designs...By Patricia

What do you think? Do you ever shy away from certain pieces because you think they'll look too costumey or give a certain look to them? Try stepping out of your comfort zone, you might like what you try out!

Tea

Sometimes Moms shout...

2013-07-16T11:14:00.000-07:00

An Open Letter to the woman who shouted at me in the Michael's parking lot for shouting to admonish my 5 year old.

Hi there,

Thanks for shouting at me across the parking lot while I struggled to get my two boys out of the car and into the store this morning. It was especially helpful for you to berate and admonish me for shouting at my five year old after he quite literally slammed his door open into the fancy SUV we were parked beside. Especially since, just moments before, I said to him "Buddy, these parking spaces are small, make sure you open your door carefully, okay?"

You even asked a pointed question to get your message across: "Haven't YOU ever made a mistake?!" Why yes, self-righteous woman, yes I have. In fact, I have often made mistakes in my life. Sometimes, when I was young - let's go out on a limb and say I was 5-ish -I would make the same 'mistake' over and over (and over and over and over) again. And sometimes, when I would make this same 'mistake' for the 3rd or 6th or 17th time my parents would raise their voices. They might even shout my name in exasperation as I did to my 5 year old this morning. Yes - it hurt my feelings... but you know something? I learned. I learned that that 'mistake' that I was constantly making was not a great thing to do. I may have even figured out that I should TRY not to make that mistake again. It didn't dissuade me from looking up to my parents, respecting them, or make me ever question their love for me. I did, however, know that I was in trouble.

You see - lady in the parking lot who doesn't know me, my children or my parenting philosophies - there are many different schools of opinion on how to raise children. In fact, I would say that there are as many options as there are parents and children in the world. And in my home, we don't believe in sugar coating things. With my rather strong willed, sometimes obnoxious and opinionated and stubborn children (Hey, they get it from their mother) calmly explaining to my boys why what they're doing is wrong doesn't exactly get the point across. If I were to stop in the middle of the 38 degree parking-lot and crouch down so I was eye-to-eye with my son (because I wouldn't want to stand over him, THAT would be imposing) and say "Buddy, do you remember when I asked you to open your door carefully and you pretty much just opened your door really hard and really fast and it banged into the door of the car we were parked against and left a mark? Well, now Mommy is kind of upset because I have to go into the store and talk to a person who works there to make an announcement for the person who owns that car so that I have to let them know who I am when they decide whether or not there's damage to their car." Do you know what his response would be? Probably something along the lines of "Ok, Mom."

He wouldn't even understand that that's a problem. Sounds like Mom's got it all under control. But instead of that I shouted his name in exasperation (and a little bit of shock given how much power he put into opening the car-door) and he immediately understood that what he just did - wasn't a good thing. NO extra words required.

Now, I don't know you lady-in-the-parking-lot... no more than you know me. I don't know if you have children, if they were perfectly behaved at all times and if you were a model parent who never raised her voice - if so - kudos to you. I, however, am not that woman. I sometimes get frustrated, sometimes I raise my voice and shout, sometimes I lock myself in my bathroom and ignore my children for 10 minutes. Sometimes I slam my bedroom door, sometimes I go for a walk by myself... and I tell my children that I love them every single day.

And, to be honest, I don't know if shouting my son's name in the parking lot was the best idea, the best reaction, but it was my reaction. And I stand by it.

You see, parents are people. They make mistakes (as you asked), they do things they regret, and they make decisions based on emotions and circumstances. But it doesn't change how much we love our children, doesn't change our desire to see them learn and do their best and make their own decisions... and mistakes, don't worry, we let them make mistakes. We also help them to understand that for their decisions... mistakes or otherwise... that there are circumstances. That the world will not crouch down to their level and calmly explain why what they did was wrong... and they need to know how to deal with that too.

My son walked into the store with me, even held my hand... he wasn't heartbroken, he wasn't even upset by the time we made it the 100 feet from our car to the door.

So, lady in the lot, haven't YOU ever made a mistake? Perhaps we should all ask ourselves that before shouting at a parent for shouting at their child... just a thought.

Tea.

Pin to Real LIfe: Breaking the rules

2013-07-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

Another Pin to Real life instalment!

So, just recently I refashioned a skater style dress into a hi-low peplum top (here), and I was initially going to style it the way I usually style a peplum, according to my rule that something with fullness on top should go with something trim and sleek like a black pencil skirt or cropped pants... but then I saw this pin and then this one (which I absolutely LOVED) and I thought - forget it! Mama's breaking the rules!

I paired this newly refashioned top with a previously refashioned tablecloth into circle skirt and a white belt, shoes and funky pearl necklace.

Breaking the rules and looking classy at the same time.

I actually think this outfit is indicative of this 50s style Christian Dior silhouette.

See? Sometimes breaking the rules is okay.
But, let me be clear: this does NOT apply to leggings. Just sayin'

Tea.

Make it! Skater dress to Hi/Low Peplum refashion

2013-07-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

This Mama LURVES peplums. We've talked about this before. If you're a curvy gal like me, a peplum can be your best dang friend I tell ya. I admit, when they first came about I wasn't hopping on the peplum train right away, but once I tried one on, my eyes were opened. I had a peplum conversion... a peplumversion if you will.

Another trend I wasn't about to jump on right away was the whole hi-low thing. A lot of the dresses and such that I see out there are super short (think 60s minis) in the front and practically train length in the back. Uh... no thanks. But recently I've seen a few much more subtle hi to low options and I thought I would try it out with this refashion.

I happened upon this skater style dress outside my local GT Boutique (that'd be Giant Tiger kids) for $5.00. Yup, FIVE BUCKS. Since it was red, I couldn't pass it up, and I knew I'd be able to make it wearable for me, since it sure wasn't in its current state/length.

Seriously friends... SHORT.

So I took a measurement from my natural waist (where, thankfully the seam line on the skater dress actually hit) to where I thought a peplum should fall. It was approximately 9 inches. I then laid out the dress sideways, made a mark about 9 inches down from the front and just went to town and cut a new hi/low hemline. It was $5. Be adventurous.

I then laid it out flat and evened up my crazy cut lines before I turned up the edge twice and hemmed it. Simple!

Now slap that baby on with a belt (or 2 or 3 or whatever floats your boat) and rock it with some skinny jeans or a pencil skirt or whatevs!

Not bad for $5.00!

I'm planning on wearing this on Sunday, so you'll see it in a few days in a pin-spired What Mama Wears post!
What do you think? Have you ever refashioned?
Tea.

What Mama Wears: Ikat stop thinking about this skirt

2013-07-08T07:57:00.001-07:00

Ikat stop thinking about this skirt. See what I did there? Ha!
Okay, all joking aside. I got this skirt from Walmart for a whole $5. Yeah. Five. Bucks. Baby.
Sweet. It's the simplest skirt in the entire world given that it's basically a tube with a waistband, but hey - it was $5, you get what you pay for. But, it's actually a decent weight fabric, it's stretchy as all get-out, and it has the ever so popular Ikat/Tribal print on it without being, how do you say, obnoxious, as a lot of the coloured versions of this print are.

See? Kind of obnoxious.

Anywho - normally I would pair this skirt with a peplum type top or a tailored blouse or something of that nature, but I wanted a slightly more comfortable, almost boho feel for this outfit. I went with a blouse that I normally wear OVER other items, never alone, never buttoned up, and a skinny belt (to show that I still, in fact, have a waist under all that fabric). A lot of times I see a pencil skirt styled with a loose blousey top, but as a busty gal if I don't belt the waist I look like I'm walking around wearing the big top ifyaknowwhatImean....

Add in some swingy fun jewellery and gladiator style sandals... and you're good to go!

Also: this is what your hair looks like if it's super hot, you have curly hair and you don't want it to stick to you every. single. time. you. move.
Just sayin'

Tea.

What Mama Wears: A Shorts Story - Pin to Real Life Style Challenge #4

2013-07-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

My goal is to do a round 10 posts of the P2RL style challenge issued by Sarah of Sarah's Real Life. So I'm almost half way there!

I got these sailboat print shorts at Old Navy last summer and they got a LOT of wear - I expect it'll be the same this summer. And I love them, and I love most print shorts I see... but here's the issue I have pinterest.
Why... WHY are all these women wearing HEELS with SHORTS?
I'm sorry - I tried, I mean, I put them on, I looked in the mirror, I walked around my house... and I felt... ridiculous. I mean, RI-DIC-U-LOUS.

I just can't do it. Shorts go with flats in my little world, and these super cute navy boat shoes that I got at Walmart for a whopping $9.00 sure do the trick.

I did love the sleeveless button down and printed short combination in this pin - and it inspired me to pair this high-low sleeveless button down I have in my wardrobe with these print shorts - instead of my go-to white tee-shirt.

Source

So here's my version:

These are, by far, the shortest shorts I own. I have some rules about shorts.

1) They must not be tight to my leg from hip to hem - if they are, then they're leggings, and as we've discussed before - leggings are not pants. I have some leggings that fall into this category, they're worn with tunics or short dresses... why? Say it with me, because leggings are not pants - or shorts for that matter

2) they must be at LEAST 3 inches long in the inseam. These shorts are exactly 3 inches long. I do know that for certain. I know that because I keep a tape measure in my purse and I measured them before I bought them. Why at least 3 inches, because anything less than that enters clearly into Daisy Dukes territory... and this mama ain't no Daisy Duke in shorts. Lawdy no.

3) they must not have any text on them, specifically nothing written across the rear end. Yes, I grew up in the 80s and 90s. YES, I did at least once in my lifetime wear some form of pants or shorts with some word or another emblazoned across the a**. Those. Days. Are. Over. Mamas do not wear words on their butts.

4) I must like them. Now, this seems like a "duh" kind of rule, but how many times have you tried something on and your spouse or friend or whoever goes "Oh! They're so cute on you!" and you're like "Meh... I don't know....." and then you buy them because that person convinced you and then they sit in your drawer for like EVER and then you wear them because you feel guilty and blah blah blah blah blah. SO. Not. worth it. If I don't like 'em, I don't buy 'em.

And since these shorts fit all of those categories I got them, and another pair (in green with polka dots) last summer and wear them tonnes. Success.

There, that was a shorts story. Not a very short story, but it was, in fact, about shorts.

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Flowy Prints - Pin to Real Life #3

2013-07-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

I got this beautiful skirt as a gift from my parents for my 29th birthday. I haven't worn it too often for a few reasons - 1) it's made of silk, which while making it super breathable and light and flowy, also makes it SILK - I'm so darned afraid of dropping some food or something on it and staining it beyond recognition... cause that HAPPENS... 2) it's a wrap skirt and I never feel like I've got it wrapped correctly, however, adding the belt seems to make a huge difference

I was inspired by this simple outfit that I saw while searching "street style" on pinterest.

She looks comfy and chic in her swingy flowy skirt and t-shirt. Adding a little cardi over top makes it totally wearable if you're going from indoor A/C to outdoor heat and back again. And while I don't have sandals that are quite as cute as hers, I'd be looking to add some to my shoe wardrobe sometime soon!

I've also added some accessories because... well, I love jewellery, what can I say.

What do you think? Would you wear a flowy skirt on a regular day? Or are you a "skirts are for dress up" kind of person?

Tea

What Mama Wears: Pinspired - Pin to Real Life #2

2013-07-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

Another instalment of Pin to Real Life! I'm absolutely loving this challenge so far! I've actually started searching on pinterest using some of my wardrobe pieces as a search term and have come across some great outfits that I never would have come up with on my own. I have a tendency to just stick with the same outfit combinations over and over again... it's very easy to get stuck in a rut, putting the same pieces together over and over again just because we know that it works. This is a great way to get some new ideas of how to put together the pieces already in your wardrobe.

This time I was totally inspired by this look on Jessica Alba:

I love her combo of bright denim and a loose blousey button down in a print. She, of course, looks effortlessly put together, and fresh... I figured, at best, I could look dressed. I knew I already had these items in my wardrobe and they made a great, easy summer outfit.

Button down: Old Navy / Tank: Walmart / Capris: Ricki's / Loafers: Walmart / Shades: Walmart
PS: You might not be able to tell but the print on this shirt is actually little acoustic guitars, which, for this musical mama meant that I was destined to purchase this shirt. Even the Hubs didn't argue with that one. ;)

Keeping in mind that I wore this outfit all day, AND had a toddler asleep and drooling on my arm for at least 1.5 hours of that day, I think it held up pretty well! And, it's not actually THAT far off the beautiful Ms. Alba's outfit!
Have you checked out Sarah's post explaining the Pin to Real Life Style Challenge? It can be found here: Pin to Real Life

It's a great opportunity to try out some looks you might not have worn otherwise, and then anyone who sees you in public will totally know how fashionable you are because they might have seen an outfit "just like what she's wearing, on pinterest!"

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Pinspired! Pin to Real Life #1

2013-07-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

I have blogged before about one of my fave fashion bloggers, Sarah from Sarah's Real Life. Recently she started a challenge called Pin to Real Life (click for details) and while I don't generally blog about an outfit every day, I thought I might jump on this one for a few installments of WMW since I often find myself pinspired when I'm getting dressed in the am.

*Click the "Pin to Real Life Style Challenge" label at the bottom of this post to see all the P2RL outfits - or click What Mama Wears to see all the Mama fashion posts!
Sarah is a total inspiration to me because she's uber fashionable while still having a very real life. She's not a Mama like me, but she lives a full, busy life and still manages to look put together on a regular basis. Talk about a real-life style icon!

For my first pin-spired outfit I was drawn to the colour combo of this outfit: http://pinterest.com/pin/149604018844642768/

And I liked the shaping of this outfit: http://pinterest.com/pin/149604018844642770/

With a few mama-ified changes to make this work for my regular day of cleaning my house, baking a cake and prepping for a family birthday party I came up with this! (Try not to be blinded by the pasty whiteness of my arms and legs - what can I say, I'm Canadian and I'm a WASP, it is what it is. I don't tan, people.)

tank: Walmart / skirt: Old Navy / Wedges: Sears / Earrings: Designs...by Patricia /

Bracelet and Necklace: gifts

Blue and yellow feel really bright and summery. I probably wouldn't have combined these two pieces on my own, but with my pinspiration I thought I couldn't go wrong!

What do you think? Are you ever pin-spired when getting ready?

Tea.

A Painful Anniversary

2013-06-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

Today is a painful anniversary. One I've, honestly, been trying not to think about all day. It helped (ha!) that our water heater broke this morning and our laundry room was flooded and I spent a good chunk of the morning thinking about that instead... but every time I get a spare moment to myself... it creeps in.

A year ago today - my whole life got turned upside down. Stood right on its head. I lost absolute control over everything about myself. A year ago today I learned that I had lost our baby. It was a true death for me. I grieved it as one. I still grieve our baby's loss. I may, likely, do so for the rest of my life.

A year ago today I thought I was going to die. I spoke to my sweet little boys on the phone and thought I was actually saying goodbye to them when I was telling them "Goodnight. Mommy loves you. Be good for Grandma and Grandpa." I thought I was telling my father goodbye when I managed to whisper "Just pray Dad, okay? Just pray. Get everyone to pray."

A year ago today our baby died, I ended up in emergency surgery, and while I didn't recognise it then, it changed everything. EVERYTHING. I've spent the past year out of work, in and out of doctors offices, psychiatrists offices, therapy, pharmacies. On and off different medications and dealing with the wacky side affects of starting drugs, coming off of them, and so on and so on and so on. I've spent the past year dragging myself inch by painful inch out of the deep, dark, empty nothingness that is depression, to feel like I've made some progress, only to find that ugly beast called Anxiety nipping at my heels and whispering in my ear.

There are good days. There are good moments. There are bad days. There are awful moments. There are days when I feel like I'll never be able to feel anything at all ever again. There are days when I feel like I feel everything all at once. It's exhausting and overwhelming and there are days when I just want to give up.

But I haven't. And while sometimes I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere in the past year, except maybe better at hiding my emotions, I have to keep pushing forward.

But not today. Today is a day when I think I have to give myself permission to be sad. A year ago we lost our baby. And we lost the hope of having another baby. I hesitate to admit that there will always be times when my little family feels incomplete.

Unfinished. Like a puzzle missing just one piece.

It's a painful anniversary. It's the 10th.

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Colour Pop - Colour Block

2013-06-05T10:42:00.001-07:00

I first saw this dress when the Target opened up here in our hometown. While lots of people were a little disappointed with the Target here in Canada, I was excited to see so many new designers coming our way. We already had Mossimo, but so many others were not available here beforehand.

I love the colourblocking look that's been so popular over the past couple of years, however, most of the pieces I've found tend to have blocks placed in... awkward positions. This simple sheath with one simple block of colour between the yoke of the dress and the body was a simple way for me to incorporate this trend without having an awkwardly placed chunk of colour over my chest or stomach or anything of the like.

I paired it with my new mother's day gift shoes from my boys and a fascinator from my own collection.

Do you wear colour blocking? What do you think of it as a trend?

Tea.

The Organizing Bug: Episode 1: Kitchen

2013-05-25T10:52:00.003-07:00

A couple of times a year it hits me. The organizing bug. I start to get a little more antsy in our house. The amount of "stuff" we have around irritates me. I feel like I can't FIND things... and if I let it come to a head, I start to want to just pitch everything. Usually it's about this time of year that I start letting the organizing bug take over - and this time around I thought I would chronicle this little bit of wackiness and share it with you.

I started with our kitchen. Our kitchen is.... irritating. When we bought our house I thought - this is awesome, it's big enough for a kitchen table, has a big window over the sink... fabulous!

Then we moved in and it started to sink in that I only had 2 drawers in the whole kitchen. 2. Drawers. That the corner had a cupboard that was basically completely blind and in order to get at anything in those corners you'd have to take practically everything out and then perform some kind of contortionism to get the things from the corner out. That the floor was SO not level and that the tile that I actually kind of liked wasn't actually marbled... it was really dirty - and had a TONNE of little nicks, nooks, crannies and such that just were magnetised for dirt.

There didn't seem to be a way that made sense for putting things away... and as such, every now and again, when I let the bug take over, I go "deep clean" mode. It started with emptying out all the cupboards and the 2 drawers. Absolutely EVERYTHING came out. I cleared off our counters completely, and then with a bleach/dish soap solution every counter top, bit of molding, cupboard, shelf, etc got scrubbed and wiped down. Then the purge.

At this point I need the hubs to come in and slow me down. Left to my own devices we'd have 2 plates, cups, bowls, and set of cutlery each ... and that'd be it. Honestly, I'd just started throwing everything out. The rule that I abide by is: if it hasn't been used in a year OR we have more than 1 of an item, it can probably go. There are exceptions of course. I only kept 1 peeler, but I kept 2 pizza cutters.

Now - I apologise, I don't have any before pictures... I was honestly far too embarrassed by the state of our kitchen to even consider taking any. I DO, however, have after pictures to share with you. Yay!

The stand mixer must have a permanent working place on our countertop, since it gets used regularly. I also decanted most of our large jug cooking/baking staples into matching stoppered bottles (Ikea, $3!) so that they would look pretty since they have to sit out and wouldn't take up as much space. The large jugs are stored down in our laundry room/pantry

These cupboards are original to the house. They were gross with a capital G-ROSS when we moved in, but we scrubbed the life out of them and painted them black. They're not the best cupboards, certainly not the prettiest, but they were there and they work.

Our dinner board! Let me tell you - this thing is a LIFESAVER. No more "what do you want to have for dinner...." convos. We just put up the calendar, write down what's for dinner, and I can plan ahead for our grocery shopping list and know what to get out of the freezer/fridge in prep for dinner. Dry erase, reusable, brilliant.

I have a lovely little shelf (this actually sits above the stairs to our basement) on which to store my cookbooks. You may notice some Deceptively Delicious (pureed veg in your baked goods anyone?) and of course, my treasured Joy of Cooking.

Table, whiteboard, and dog water bowl. It's gotta function y'know!

Got limited storage in your kitchen? Me too. Two words: POT. RACK. This hangs above our sink and is the best idea the hubs ever had for our kitchen.

Certain things just can't fit in the cupboards when you have limited space. So, my goal is - if it has to sit out, it should at least look nice. That's why all our black/silver items occupy this corner together.

The fridge/freezer gets the same treatment: if it's expired, or if we have 2 (or in some cases) 3 of the same item, we keep the newest and get rid of the rest. I decided to go with baskets for organizing our fridge this time, and I have to say - I LOVE it. Just a few bucks at the Dollarama goes a long long way.

And the dreaded kitchen floor. Oh, how I HATE this floor. It's a gross cream/tan non-pattern linoleum which is like completely magnetized for dirt. And normally I would not use heavy chemical cleaners...I'm generally a bakingsoda and vinegar kind of gal... but this floor. I went out, bit the bullet and bought a jug of ammonia. It stinks (lemon scented my a*&), it needs a LOT of ventilation (I wouldn't recommend using it in the winter) but boy does it ever work. And now that I've got all that grossness out, it'll be back to apple cider vinegar for our floor for quite some time.

We've also just created a coffee/tea/light breakfast station at the foot of our stairs which gets some things out of our kitchen. And we have a separate pantry in our laundry room in the basement, which I will discuss in a separate post.

So voila! Even in our little, basic suburban kitchen we can have order and organization! And cleanliness! But I also have gone full-disclosure here: I didn't hide anything, don't judge our choices please :P It is what it is - a working kitchen for our little fam. Hopefully you can take some ideas or inspiration from it!

So go! Organize and deep clean your kitchen. But make sure you have plenty of tea. You're gonna need it.

Tea.

What Mama Wears: on Mother's Day

2013-05-13T06:17:00.000-07:00

So, this outfit was inspired by my Mother's Day gift from my boys - these rockin' shoes!

Seriously, I was so excited to wear these shoes, and actually had a different outfit planned out, but when I woke up on the morning of Mother's Day to find that it was 2 degrees outside (Celcius folks, don't panic), I had to rethink things a little. Since I wanted to show these shoes off I went with some skinny jeans, a cute jacket and orange top to tie in with the shoes.

Throwing my hair up into a sock bun is both simple (didn't want to do too much "work" on Mother's day) and looks classy.

So what do you think? Shoes as a Mother's Day gift? For this mama - they're perfect!

I hope you had a great day celebrating with your Mom and/or kids.

Tea.

My Mother, My Friend.

2013-05-11T22:14:00.003-07:00

I keep reading these articles and blogs and books and such that say "You are not your child's friend. You are their parent. You can love them unconditionally, you can support and encourage them, you can laugh and play with them, but you are not their friend." and I think... wow. My Mom sure did it wrong.

Now, obviously I'm being a bit sarcastic here. My mother has always been my mother... and while I certainly wasn't your typical teenager (I left the screaming and such to my younger sisters) I certainly had my teenage moments... but having lived at home throughout school, and even university, and now I'm grown and have kiddos of my own, I can honestly say that I am proud to call her both my Mom and my friend.

We do a lot together. We dance together in our church's liturgical dance group, we chat regularly, drop by each other's houses, drink tea, email practically daily... she is definitely my Mom. There are times in all of our lives when we just need to talk to our mothers... but she is also definitely my friend.

She taught me to be strong, and she supports me when I'm not. She taught me to be confident, and she built me up so that I could be. She taught me to laugh at myself, by never being afraid to show her silly, goofy side. She taught me to try new things, because you never know what your next passion might be. She taught me the value of good food, good friends, family and that time is the most precious gift you can give anyone.

She has also helped me through this dark time this past year, by not being afraid to share her own journey through the darkness of depression and loss. She is a powerfully vulnerable, beautifully confident, and an amazingly wonderful woman. My mother, my friend.

Happy Mother's Day Mama. Thank you for being the mother I'm striving to be.

My Mama and I? We'll be drinking tea.

And a note for my Mother-in-law
Mama B. - thank you for raising the man of my dreams. Maybe it came as no surprise to you that he would pick a woman who is outspoken and smart, because his mother is a great example of the way a confident, intelligent woman handles herself. Thank you for caring for me. You always seem to know when we need you, and you give of yourself completely selflessly. As a mom of 2 boys, I hope that one day I will be able to show my daughters-in-law the same love and care that you have always shown me. Happy Mother's Day.

And Happy Mother's Day to all of you, if you're a Mom or if you have one, celebrate the day.

Enjoy it.

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Purple and Red

2013-05-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

So, have you heard of the Red Hat Society? It's a society for women, that's fun and open and all kinds of wonderful... but they all wear red and purple together, and I'll admit that every time I combine those colours (EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.) I can't help but think about them... so it's not often that I do it, but this dress just had such lovely bright red/orange flowers that were screaming out to be paired up with some red accessories - how could I say no?

Would you wear red and purple together? Or is it too "Red Hat Society" for you too? I also just love the simplicity of this little red flower headband. There's just something about wearing something in your hair that makes you feel feminine and fancy.

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Chambray and Chiffon

2013-05-05T10:12:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I love combining two seemingly unrelated fabrics. I wore this outfit to a church service, the chambray is light and comfortable and I decided to pair it with this knife pleated chiffon skirt. This outfit was easy to wear and fun.

What do you think? Too country? Maybe I've got a little country in me. Can't help it sometimes.

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Animal Print

2013-04-14T18:04:00.002-07:00

I always love when I see someone in animal print. It's all over pinterest, leopard print, zebra print... and then I go into a store, fall in love with a piece... try it on - and look like I'm in a hallowe'en costume. I don't know what it is about animal prints, but half the time it just doesn't look right on me. So a couple of years ago when I found this giraffe-esque print sheath dress, I loved it, and for once, actually loved how it looked on me.

I love that I can put a print red belt, and accessories with this sheath dress and have that element of fun, while still having a simple silhouette with the dress.

What do you think? Do you wear animal print? Or do you think it's better left to someone else?

Tea.

What Mama Wears: Comfy Boho? Or An outfit in progress...

2013-04-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Generally I tend to share with you the outfits that I think I look decent in. But today, the hubs actually said "Hey, you look nice!" and I thought, huh - well, I guess I'd better put this on the blog. Usually, the outfits I share are for a specific purpose, like going to church, performing, outings with people who aren't my family (I mean, if you can wear sweatpants around anyone, it's your fam) but this is more of a "hey, it's Tuesday and this is clean" kind of outfit... that picked up accessories as the day went on.

For example: this morning I knew I wanted to wear this skirt - sometimes I just feel like wearing a skirt, and I LOVE this one because a)I got it at V-V Boutique for less than $5 and b) it has pockets. Yeah... pockets!
I had it on with a white long sleeve tee, which lasted about 20 minutes until I was putting juice in a drink cup for the big'un's lunchbag, had a random hand spasm and ended up wearing most of it. So... the white tee went the way of the dodo and I put this pinky-purplish henley on instead... which I actually like better. Then as I was putting shoes away in the closet I found this belt on the floor which I bought at the Ex like a billion years ago (or like 6 years, whatever), so I put it on. Then I took it off and put it on backwards because I love the beads. Then I noticed I had left these earrings and necklace in the bathroom the last time I wore them, so instead of putting them away, I put them on... and well, here we are.

So - I'm questioning whether or not this qualifies as "boho"? The belt and the jewellery feel a little boho to me... but I don't know about the skirt and henley. In any case, it's comfy and it was clean. So - this is what Mama wears on days like that.

Tea.

Emotional rollercoaster

2013-04-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

So, when I was young, we did a youth musical at our church (actually, we did a bunch of them, but this one sticks out right now) and one had a song that went like this "This rollercoaster ride of life, lifts you up and lets you down. This rollercoaster ride of life, spins you round and round and round. Heaven knows, wherever you go, He will be there by your side. On this rollercoaster ride, of life."

Now, obviously, as teens, we all totally related to this. I mean, when in your life are your more on an emotional rollercoaster than when you're a teenager. But this past year has been as much of an emotional rollercoaster as any time in my life.

Right now, I'm in the process of switching to a new medication. Fun, wow - right? ugh.

The one I'm currently on isn't exactly helping with my spastic anxiety, and the side effects of going off of one medication in prep for going onto another are seriously difficult. So I find myself praying a lot, "God, are you with me? Because this rollercoaster isn't fun."

I worry, about everything, all. the. time. Apparently, that's what Generalized Anxiety Disorder is.... but knowing that doesn't make it any better. And now that I'm in the process of switching medication, I worry about my kiddos. Is the littl'un going to remember me as being crazy spastic Mommy - who has weird emotional mood swings, who is upset by the littlest thing. I'm telling you, when you worry constantly and every little thing upsets you, living with a 3 year old is especially trying. And that's not his fault. And that feeds right into the depression and guilt complex that I have. Oh joy.

This ride, - it's getting old.

Stop the world - I wanna get off.

Plus, I'm out of tea.

Tea.