tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186Sat, 30 Apr 2011 19:55:28 +0000The great lost art of conversation and figuring out how to create happiness in a sea of malcontent.http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (cj)Blogger449125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-1403922743813977559Sat, 30 Apr 2011 19:39:00 +00002011-04-30T15:39:42.644-04:00new startthoughtfulBeen a while since my last post. I've been afraid to come here for fear of being misunderstood. But it matters not I suppose, in the long run it's just a moment passing through me. I blog on my professional blog and that has taken a bit of my time. It's a much more discreet compartment of blogging..not good to be depressed and cry and carry on over on that one. Things must be happy and http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2011/04/8-months-and-wake-up.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-9138981493922582124Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:06:00 +00002010-09-07T12:06:41.489-04:00living my truthfaithconfessionMany years ago, and I've used this quite a bit because it speaks so loudly to me, a friend said to me, "you have to give up something good to get something better." This was coming from someone who was in a deep struggle to take the next step in his life. He had a dream and there was uncertainty on the other side of the decision. He was either going to stay with the good...where he grew up, http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/09/giving.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-3728254741432493487Tue, 31 Aug 2010 12:22:00 +00002010-08-31T08:22:54.702-04:00dreamsHollywoodconfessionMy husband and I have been talking about California a lot lately. Obviously, Los Angeles to be more specific. We love that city. I know it's over populated, the traffic is horrible, it's dirty and noisy and...diverse! I love that city so much. One of the things I miss most about living there is the palm trees. I don't know what it is about them, but they seem so exotic. Tall and bendy, http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/la-la-land.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-7251535040926579770Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:49:00 +00002010-08-26T08:58:03.640-04:00PonderingdepressiondestinylifeconflictLast night we had dinner with some friends to talk about making a sex trafficking non-fiction feature film. We don't call them documentaries, we call them non-fiction films. Because our goal is to make it as beautiful cinematography as possible, in much the same way a film would be made. Documentaries (artistically) can be somewhat stiff and cold. We've been in the talks of this for a while http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/climbing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-8654807555631924639Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:19:00 +00002010-08-17T14:24:30.275-04:00Spiritualitylifephilosophyfaithconfession"Can you remember a time, perhaps when you were very young, when life as it was--just the fact that it was early morning or any old day in summer--was enough? When you were enough--not because of what you looked like or what you did, but just because everything was the way it was. Nothing was wrong. When you were sad, you cried and then it was over. You were back to a fundamental feeling of http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/save-prayer.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-4502380904088644082Sun, 15 Aug 2010 23:39:00 +00002010-08-15T19:39:07.143-04:00reflectiveliving my truthSpiritualityrelationshipslifeI'm strung out. Sometimes we innocently ask ourselves questions out of a simple request to understand our own minds on a decision or out of self doubt. Sometimes we ask questions because it's a popular thing to do. What started out as something cool a few months ago has grown into a journey of inner contemplation that is beginning to grow larger and more powerful than I ever dreamed. This http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/that-deep-oceanheart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-7366995076796756639Sat, 14 Aug 2010 11:30:00 +00002010-08-14T07:30:11.943-04:00depressionlifelonlinessfaithconflictconfessionBeen asking myself what it is I lack in order to execute what I want. Because right now, I'm paralyzed. It's either God or fear. Perhaps it's both. Both. I feel really alone right now. And I'm hating my inability to scale the wall.http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/heart-is-deep-ocean.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-5022481915374255093Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:54:00 +00002010-08-10T11:54:18.112-04:00lifephilosophyconfession"Nine-tenths of wisdom consists in being wise in time." ~Theodore Roosevelt. Every time I say my age, 41, I can't believe I'm actually that old. When I say it, I imagine what that conjures up in the younger adults mind. I spend a lot of time battling that. Not sure why. On the one hand I have lived some life and I've got some advice to give, a true authority to impart if you will, but then http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/ah-well-middle-age.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-6421650853676391191Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:50:00 +00002010-08-08T21:50:52.676-04:00PonderingphilosophygrowthwritingI wrote this a few days after my birthday last month. I've begun writing again on paper in a book type journal. Which is challenging and yet evocative. Anyway, I wrote this after a night of looking through some old journals...I thought it a good page of writing. July 16, 2010 Writing again. I laid in bed last night thinking about this. I've not written in several months and I've been trying tohttp://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/previously.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-3431548710692502633Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:19:00 +00002010-08-08T21:19:15.337-04:00SpiritualitylifefaithRecently my husband resigned from his 9-5 of ten years. In fact, a week ago Friday was his last day. We have created our own production company and will be working on things that we feel deeply committed to. It was a giant step and one of absolute faith in God. We feel God has been leading us to this decision for quite some time and as always, His time is best. I will be writing a little http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/08/full-monty.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-2807921208177207951Fri, 30 Jul 2010 21:55:00 +00002010-07-30T17:55:13.499-04:00HopesecretconfessionI'm going to write more about my secret but I've recently had to put out some fires. I had to make sure that I wasn't being followed back here and information taken and used against me somehow. People do silly things for crazy reasons. I'm praying through this as I need to come out with some things so I can be free to write about it. I need to be okay with how what I reveal could/will be http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/07/and-then.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-4236981409400073720Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:22:00 +00002010-07-19T10:22:56.620-04:00salvationSpiritualitylifechangequotes that change your lifegrowthfaithconfessionAround 4am this morning, I felt my husband toss the covers aside aggravated, jump out of bed and pace the floor. At first I was afraid, and I sat up asking him what was wrong? He said, "I can't sleep." Our dog had come in around 3am and had awakened him, wanting to go for a walk. My husband was unable to go back to sleep after that. He's been working away from home a lot, traveling. For thehttp://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/07/wake-up.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-5407308570977357778Sun, 18 Jul 2010 13:02:00 +00002010-07-18T09:07:35.503-04:00kick ass lyricssalvationaimee mannlifemusicwritingI'm on an Aimee Mann kick lately... I'm posting a writing later today, in the mean time... http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/07/save-me.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-5957549624845626695Sat, 17 Jul 2010 04:31:00 +00002010-07-17T18:12:39.380-04:00kick ass lyricsdreamsreflectivefirst lovefeelingDan Fogelbergsorrowbest song everemotionalstop you dead in your tracks piano openinglonlinessI'm so here right now... http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/07/down-road.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-5610355907134657386Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:59:00 +00002010-07-16T23:27:37.111-04:00first lovefeelingDan FogelberginspirationemotionalwritingconfessionPen to paper. Remember how we used to do that? One of my greatest pleasures in life was to put on some Dan Fogelberg, step outside underneath a vast sky of stars, absorb the cool night air and begin to feel. And then...write. Motherhood has certainly taken its toll upon my ability to be free enough to do that, and that makes me sad. This week my birthday set off a maelstrom of journal http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/07/aftermath.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-202596764456999025Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:13:00 +00002010-07-08T09:22:21.473-04:00lifephilosophyAm I really going to do this? Am I really going to start blogging again? I feel I have so much on my plate already. So much to change, so much to focus on. I have. so. much.I feel I'm good at blogging. Which means I'm good at dumping my shit out for the world to see, if they happen to be interested. But I find not many people are interested in me. In fact, I find that most people are too http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/07/restart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-1837822668854602412Thu, 08 Apr 2010 15:57:00 +00002010-07-16T22:49:43.982-04:00confessionI'm fragile right now. I'm vulnerable. I'm afraid of being misunderstood by my posts here on this blog. If it's happy then people are okay, but if I write something disconcerting, then paranoia amongst my reader friends kicks in full gear. I suppose I've done this. For whatever reason, ya'll don't trust me. Somehow believe I'm after them. Or pointing a finger at them. Why is this? Is http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/04/and-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-6810841872691205088Thu, 08 Apr 2010 15:45:00 +00002010-04-08T11:50:43.321-04:00confessionI am currently living a real live episode of Survivor. I've made alliances but twists and turns in the game of life are making me question them. It's like if you don't perform the immunity challenge well enough or work around "camp" hard enough then you get voted out. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to bend another's ear just right...then...you're out. As I stand back and look, I seehttp://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/04/parallel.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-4264395018419342750Wed, 07 Apr 2010 11:34:00 +00002010-04-07T07:42:12.643-04:00knee injuryclean eating magazineduathlonstrength training. dietNo. No I haven't. I haven't called my Dr. I know I know. BUT I've been out rollerblading and then a friend asked me if I'd try and run a couple of miles with her. So, I tried. The bad news is that due to lack of running because of the knee my conditioning for it is really lacking, it was a great first mile but I struggled to get through the next. I had been running 4 miles. No problem. Thehttp://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/04/knee-update.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-3968600719176268590Sun, 04 Apr 2010 00:21:00 +00002010-04-03T20:32:22.289-04:00depressionclean eating magazineduathlonstrength training. dietWell, I've tried and tried but it's just no use. I'm going to have to go see an orthopedic doctor. The running portion of my duathlon training is not happening due to my left knee issue. I don't understand what's wrong with it. It feels as though I've hyperextended it and sometimes it is okay, but then other times I will go to bed fine and wake up barely able to walk on it. The pounding http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/04/knee.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-5569051528298485020Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:18:00 +00002010-03-22T11:19:51.454-04:00I have a secret to share. But I'm praying about how I want to share it. I may start another blog just for this secret. Some of my friends know about it, but others don't. A lot don't, in fact. I'm feeling pissed off about my secret and I don't know how to deal with my feelings concerning it. I'll keep you posted.http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/03/secret.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-5571707300514964071Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:53:00 +00002010-03-18T22:03:23.385-04:00SpiritualityGodfaithconfessionA lot can happen in a week. Wait, it's only been a week? Okay. The chiropractor did not fix my knee. But time kinda has and I'm back to training for the duathlon on May 2. Although, I'm not training as long or as far as I was before my knee got weird, I'm making progress. My race is in 5.5 weeks. I've taken time off of a lot of things for Lent. Well, rather, I've slacked off of a lot of http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/03/uh-oh-yeah-i-have-blog.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-2592303355155311684Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:02:00 +00002010-03-10T10:15:28.696-05:00friendshiprelationshipsconflictconfessionFirst of all, I'm having my chiropractor come to my house to see if he can fix my knee issue. It's been six days without cardio and I'm feeling like a caged animal right now. I will ride today.Second of all, I find myself having a strange epiphany where I really don't give a shit. I recently heard some information that normally would have made me flip the freak out but instead of going ape http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/03/epiphany.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-1582122910351138401Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:39:00 +00002010-03-09T08:17:53.725-05:00ThailandconfessionAfter finding out some things that previously I was unaware of financially, I will not be going to Thailand. It's somewhat complicated, but I am okay with my decision to not spend the money to go. I do, however, feel, what I think anyone would feel after having planned something for so long, a little sad. But that's more my issue with the certainty of not going than the issue of not really http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/03/decision-made.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2131675068315670186.post-6243457882070119322Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +00002010-03-08T09:11:44.230-05:00duathlonexerciseinjurystrength training. clean eating magazineSo, 8 weeks to go until my duathlon. Eight. And I'm injured. I can barely walk today. I don't know what to do. I got on the bike yesterday and pedaled a bit just to see how it feels and it felt fine. And so I think I can swing spinning classes all week without any running or long term riding, just to keep my cardio conditioning on the level. But just sitting here doing nothing there is http://thegreatdetox.blogspot.com/2010/03/decisions.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (cj)